Kind: captions
Language: en
what's your opinion
on my bird here Mr parrot it's maau
Scarlet maau what it is a Scarlet Macau
oh you know Birds yeah and that's
actually not life-sized are you saying
he's not real I'm saying it's not to
scale okay but he's real are we doing
that Monty Python
sketch everything is a Monty Python I
don't think Monty Python's funny and at
all like not explains so much does it
what does it explain what do you think
is
funny you're not answering that question
is pretty funny well yeah what what do
you think is funny having a meta shrimp
no you think Bigos is funny oh God
no this is getting worse and
worse the following is a conversation
with Michael malice Anarchist and author
of dear reader the new WR the anarchist
handbook the white pill
and he is the host of the podcast you're
welcome this is a Thanksgiving special
of the pirate and oceangoing variety so
once again let me say thank you for
listening today and for being part of
this wild Journey with me this is Alex
Freedman podcast to support it please
check out our sponsors in the
description and now dear friends here's
Michael
malice
the Box yeah the Myst I'm wondering
what's in it there's something in that
box of exquisite beauty both literally
and in what it symbolizes and why it is
here given the kind of human being you
are I'm terrified at what you find
beautiful that's a good point you kind
of hit me with the curveball yeah like
for me the most beautiful like Wildlife
mhm are what I call uh God's mistakes
yeah because my friend came up with that
term where she's like you know God made
these disgusting animals just threw in
the bottom of the ocean he's like no
one's ever going to see this yeah you uh
you commented on Twitter about some
creature like a rainbow type creature
the peacock mantis shrimp yeah it's
beautiful it's horrific though so it has
I think eight legs six arms two punching
claws or spearing claws depending on the
genus uh two eyes two antenna two ear
flaps I don't know what they do um and
its punch can be as strong as a bullet
and the other type with the spears
divers call them thumb Splitters because
if you stick your finger near it it'll
cut your thumb down to the bone so I had
one as a pet all night I would hear
banging on the PVC pipe and I got to
tell you they have the best eyesight of
any animal cuz they see in like seven
different ways and when you make eye
contact with this thing it's it's just
absolutely terrifying but you e them a
sushi they call them C centipedes but
they're colorful and beautiful that
species is yeah what was it like having
one as a
pet and why did you do it well when you
have an species that's that unique and
that much of an outlier you know growing
up reading these books watching these
shows I found this stuff so much more
fascinating than like space and which is
you know dead um so to be able to have
this specimen in your house and just
observe Its Behavior Uh is just just
like an amazing thing why'd you get rid
of it I didn't have I guess the right
minerals in the mix because it had a
problem molting ones yeah they couldn't
mol correctly wow you miss it think
about it still I do think about it to be
honest I still have a pair of its uh
punching um appendages from when it
moled what pet animal in your life do
you miss the
most that has been in your
life that you think about I've never had
cats or dogs growing up or anything like
that which you know I oh
God my problem is here we go if I like
something I will go down a rabbit hole
Yeah so I know if I got one tattoo I
already know my first five are going to
be okay so I can't do it because then
once I get those five it's going to be a
100 and I'm already too old to be the
tattoo guy what would be the first
tattoo um my face
um would it go on your ass cheeks or
where would you put them if it was my
face if I got your face it would
definitely be on my arm right here if
you had multiple faces would you put
like I think delts right shoulders
different faces and different shoulders
symmetry yeah yeah would you get a
dictator if you if you had to get a
dictator who would you get we have the
Kim jel right H because I wrote the book
on him oh it's like plugging your book I
don't plugging it's just like I have a
personal connection to opener
conversation people would be asking why
him and you'd be like well I wrote a
book about it i' be like okay okay here
here's that would be a bad no that's not
what happens okay here's the thing what
happens when you write a book about
North hey nice to meet you what is it
you do I'm an author what kind of books
do you write well my last book was on
North Korea 90% of the time 90 they will
then start telling me everything they
know about North Korea and it's like I
don't need this isn't a quiz and it's a
very poorly understood country I don't
expect you to know anything you're not
on the spot and and half of what you're
saying is not accurate either it's fine
how often did they bring up Dennis
Rodman uh 100% 100% of the time oh so do
you know Dennis Rodman yeah but I don't
understand what I guess people feel the
need to like all right like now we're
talking about this subject I just got to
you know drop whatever I can talk about
it's usually a small amount and there's
this thing in the culture which I hate
that everyone have to have an opinion on
everything and it's like it's okay to be
like yeah I don't know anything about
that tell me more you know there's lots
of things I don't know anything about
what's your opinion
on my bird here Mr parrot it's maah
Scarlet maau what it is a Scarlet MAA oh
you know Birds yeah and that's actually
not life-sized are you saying he's not
real I'm saying it's not to scale okay
but he's real are we doing that Monty
Python
sketch everything is a Monty Python
sketch I don't think Monday Python's
funny and at all like not that explains
so much does it what does it explain
what do you think is
funny you're not answering that question
is pretty funny yeah what what do you
think is funny having a meta shrimp no
that you think bigoski is funny oh God
no although this is getting worse and
worse to be fair yep I only tried to
watch big Labowski after it's been part
of the culture for many years right to
the point where every single line has
been quoted incessantly by the most
annoying frat Bros ever yeah so I kind
of have been poisoned to be able to
appreciate it right so maybe if I'd seen
it when it came out before it became a
thing I would have enjoyed it I couldn't
get through it like I couldn't get
through 20 minutes is that how you feel
about Schindler's
List well it's so much easier for me to
stare at you when you have sunglasses on
I didn't think you'd be the one making
Holocaust jokes today and yet here we
are and cut scene I actually have like
no trouble making eye contact with you
when you're wearing Shades yes cuz
you're a robot two two copies of myself
yeah oh you seeing yourself in them mhm
okay cool yeah I'm having a conversation
with myself it's not your fault
Lex they made you like this you were
just a good little robot in in St
Petersburg I could see Mr parrot a
little bit too well what do you find
funny come on let's this is an
interesting subject well I find Mighty
python I find absurdity funny yes I find
absurdity funny I I think that's the
thing when people come at me and maybe
this is an Eastern European thing yeah
when they're like how can you find this
like very dark Subject funny it's like
well the humor first of all the humor is
that
you're making fun of something that's
dark so already it's absurd like it's
completely inappropriate second just
psychologically you know Joan Rivers
said that Winston sherel said I don't
know if it's true that when you make
people laugh you're giving them a
livication mhm and I was just thinking
about this the other day how when I die
if I want my funeral to be a roast yeah
it doesn't help me that everyone's sad
if I brought people happiness or joy in
life whatever I want to keep doing that
in death your sadness doesn't help me I
know you can't help it but tell stories
how I made you laugh make fun of me make
me the punching bag even literally take
me out of that coffin and beat the I
don't make me a piñata I don't care so I
I think and it it's it's I don't
understand well I do understand but it's
sad for me when people are like you know
this isn't funny that isn't funny I the
way I look at humor is the way it's like
a chef right it's pretty easy to make
bacon taste good but some of these
really obscure ingredients to make it
palatable that's takes skill so if
you're dealing with a subject that is
very emotional or intense and you can
make people
laugh then that takes skill and that's
the relief for them
yeah it's all about timing yeah
yeah what's the different you want to
hear one of my jokes uh is it a pirate
joke because that's the only that's the
only kind I accept today but now go
ahead it doesn't have to be a pirate
joke this one time do you know who Leah
Thomas is yeah what's the difference
between Leah Thomas and Hitler what Leah
Thomas knows how to finish a
race very nice very nice did I just get
the gold medal good job uh why does it
take uh Pirates forever to get through
the
alphabet why because they spent years at
C Oh I thought it was GNA be R joke
that's a good one I like that yeah when
I was in North Korea one oh you know
Dennis robman it's a call back by the
way the thing that is very heartbreaking
about the North Korean situation is that
they have great sense of humor
uh it would be a lot easier if these
were like robots or drones they have big
personalities big sens of humor and that
made it much harder to leave and
interact with these people because it
it's I mean there's nothing more human
and Universal than than laughter and
laughter is free you saying there's
humor even amongst the people that have
most of their freedoms taken away
especially I mean again we're from you
know the Soviet Union like there's a
anot there's a I mean Russian humor is a
thing because it's there's nothing you
can this if you can't have food or nice
things at least you can have joy and
make each other laugh I think about it
all the time and I think about my guide
all the time it's been what uh 2012 so
it's been 11 years since I've been there
and she's still there and everyone I've
seen is still there they just recently
um electrified the Border uh so you
can't even even the few people who are
escaping can't do it
anymore but that's interesting that they
still have a sense of humor I attributed
to the Soviet Union for having that
because of the uh like really deep
education system like you you got to
read a lot of literature okay and
because of that you get to kind
of learn about the the cruelty the
injustices the absurdity of the world as
long as the writing is not about the
current regime yeah but I think like if
you look at like African-Americans
Jewish Americans gay Americans they are
all disproportionate in terms of
attributing to Comedy it's not because
these groups have some kind of you know
magic to them it's that when you are on
the outside looking in a you're going to
have perspective than the people who are
in the middle of the bell curve but also
when you don't have anything to lose at
the very least you can make each other
laugh and and find happiness that way um
so you know that is something that I
think um is an important thing to
recognize so what do you find funny what
makes you giggle
like in the most joyful of
ways the suffering of others I mean I
there are um YouTube videos of uh of
like fat people falling down and they're
they're really funny there's two kinds
of people in this world those that laugh
at those videos and those that don't no
and those that are in
them uh um my friend Jesse just told me
a great Norm McDonald joke and this is a
good litmus test joke because he says a
certain group of people lose their minds
and a certain group of people just stare
at you and he goes this kind of and so
I'll tell you the joke this is nor
McDonald guy walks into a bar and he
sees someone at the bar who has a big
pumpkin for a head and the guy's like
dude what happened to you he goes H you
never believe this I got one of those
Genie lamps and this Genie he's like
what happened he goes well the first
wish you know I wish for $100 million
he's like yeah you get he goes yeah you
he was in my bank account it was fine he
goes all right well the second wish I
wish to have sex with as many beautiful
women as I wanted he goes did that
happen goes yeah it was amazing he goes
then well well I wish for a giant
pumpkin
head yeah so there's a certain mindset
that will just be staring at the screen
and that is I mean there's so many
levels why that's funny at least to me
and I I just love that kind of well nor
McDonald is like uh just I watch his
videos all time he's he's a guy that
definitely makes me giggle and he's one
of the people that makes me giggle for
reasons I don't quite understand did you
ever see with katop on um Conan O'Brien
no are making fun of katop no he this is
probably the best talk show clip of all
time he's on with Courtney Thorn Smith
she was on Melrose Place and con br's
the host and Courtney's talking about
how she's going to be an upcoming movie
with katop and Cen is like oh what's it
GNA be called and she's like doesn't
have a title yet and Norman goes oh I
know what should be called box office
poison and laughing and she's like no no
no like the working title is chairman of
the board and Conan goes do something
with that smartass and Norman goes yeah
board is spelled b o r e d and they all
just completely lost it there's
something about him with words spoken
out of his mouth with the way he like
turns his head and looks at the camera I
think he is one of those rare
comedians who you really feel like he's
talking you directly yeah he feels like
he's winking at you yeah in the audience
and he's like can you can you believe
I'm doing this like it's it's like he
almost he feels like he's I don't want
to say imposter but like he's more a
member of the audience than he is a
member of the people on the stage yeah
it feels like he's on our side whatever
whatever the hell our means you know
Roseanne got him his first job man
Rosanne you and her have been hanging
out I got it oh my God talk about
Thanksgiving
um when you are talking to Rosanne bar
and making eye contact with this person
it is I I can't even describe it it's
just like holy crap rosean Bar's talking
to me she is I've said this to her face
pathologically funny like it does not
turn off and you're sitting there and
you're like holy crap and when you make
her laugh which is that laugh that's in
the theme song of her show you feel like
okay I did a Mitzvah I did something
good and right in the world that I made
Roseanne Bar laugh um and it's also
really funny because and she's going to
hate this cuz I tell her she's adorable
she doesn't like that she's little you
think of rosean bar as this like force
of nature like a tsunami she's like 53
I'd say like maybe 1:30 like and she's
and she puts on the sunglasses you think
this little old Jewish lady you'd never
know this is one of the most epic
performers of all time she lives near
here now so it's just so much fun
talking to her there was an old
satirical magazine in the I think like
uh early 2000s called hee written by
Jews and she dressed up as Hitler for
one of the photo shoots and she was B
little men in the oven I got I found it
on eBay I wanted her to sign it to
Michael it should have been you yeah but
she signed it to Michael you're one
smart cookie and now it hangs love Mom
Rosen bar and I call her mom and it
hangs over my uh desk cuz have her like
good domestic goddess energy flowing at
me
what what do you find what else so nor
McDonald nor my favorite comedian is we
agree on something my favorite comedian
of all time is Neil
hamburger so Neil hamburger I don't know
if I'm ruining the bit he's a character
uh performed by this guy named Greg
turkington so he comes out in a tuxedo
big eyeglasses holding three glasses of
water coughing into the
mic and I remember I saw him once in um
LA and the girl ahead of me at the table
ahead of me was with her boyfriend this
basic chick pumpkin spice she turns to
him and she goes what is this and I
remember the first time he was on Jimmy
Kimmel and he tells one of his jokes and
he like um uh why does ET like Reese's
Pieces so much well that's what sperm
tastes like on his home planet and like
no one laughs and he goes oh come on
guys I have
cancer and it just cuts to this Marine
in the audience with his arms crossed um
so if you know what he's doing yeah it's
just absolutely amazing he opened for
Tenacious D once in uh somewhere I think
in Ireland or the UK one of those and
they're booing him because his jokes are
often not funny he's like hey where did
my uh whore ex-wife run off to with that
dentist she's shacking up with I don't
know but when I see her in court next
month
Alaska so they're booing and he goes all
right do you guys want me to bring out
Tenacious D they're like yeah do you
want to see your Heroes of mine
Tenacious D yeah come on let me hear do
you want to see Tena St yeah he goes all
right uh if I tell this next joke and
you don't boo me I'll bring out
Tenacious D and it's like uh um I'm
trying to think of one that's not too uh
um s censorship is never good okay he
goes um can we agree that George Bush is
the worst president America's ever had
andone claps he goes which makes it all
the stranger that his son George W Bush
was in fact the best I take it back in
the
self-censorship so two people laugh and
he goes oh that's amazing I guess I'll
do an encore and he did 10 more minutes
it was just just like I love him so much
it's interesting they opened for
Tenacious D Jack Black that's a comedic
Genius of a different kind oh yeah and
he was in one of my favorite movies uh
Jesus's son it's this Little Indie movie
um he did a great turn in that he's
really underrated as an actor he's got a
lot of range like I know they kind of
kind of get types cast as this kind of
one specific type but he's really really
talented but also just like the pure joy
yes he's clearly having
fun okay uh it is Thanksgiving so in the
tradition following tradition what are
you thankful for Michael in this world
do you have a list too no not really
really it's up in here oh I mean but you
have several things you're thankful for
yes okay yes one of the things I my list
comes from the heart I don't have to
write anything down well I don't have
written down okay one of the things that
I'm most thankful for this is a common
answer but I I can back it up is my
family because my nephew Lucas is now
six years
old and he when kids have a sense of
humor it's like just miraculous so he
stole my sister's phone his mom figured
out that Grandma is listed as Mom in the
phone and he calls her up and he's like
Michael's in the hospital he's really
sick he didn't want to tell you and
she's freaking out he goes prank so I I
took him uh denes dza just released a
movie called police state which was
actually really good um highly recommend
it I was surprised how much I liked it
there because he wasn't going
Republicans good Democrats bad it was
just about
authoritarianism and he had a movie
premiere at Mar Lago so I'm like I got
to bring Lucas to maralago so Lucas is
I'm like we're going to the president's
house he's like oh the White House and
I'm like no like a former president goes
oh a Lincoln and I'm like okay kid lodic
like he's he's giving logical answers
this is kind of like AI you have to you
have to program it to it's using logic
correctly you should have told him there
a president that's second to only AB
Lincoln in terms ofs yeah um
he uh went up to all the women in their
ball gown you know evening gowns and he
goes you're so beautiful were you born
as a girl so when you have this
six-year-old asking you this it was
really really
um so that is a great joy to have a
nephew and I have another one Zach who's
coming up uh in age and he's starting to
talk now that is really really fun for
get getting uh to watch them you know
find out about about the world for the
first time and also training them like
that he he want he loves being funny and
having fun you're your as audience in a
in a sense yeah but because you giggle
and I I give he we prank Bros it gives
me a high five my family and this is one
you talk about what I find funny these
are things that actually enrage me when
people and this such a wasp thing don't
just go with the joke or they're like I
don't get it or they don't understand to
just go with it I was in the car with my
sister when she was like 10 12 whatever
she's much younger than me she's like 12
years younger and there's this species
of squid by the way which is asymmetric
one of its eyes is very much bigger than
the other cuz it swims horizontally and
so one's looking up one's looking down
with this more light uh shout out if you
want to learn more about squids go to O
donation.com octonation shout out shout
out to Warren there's a lot of
fascinating stuff octonation on
Instagram yes um I was in the car with
my sister she's like 10 or 12 me as a
pirate I don't I'm sorry for the rude
interruptions I I appreciate that
account especially yeah it's a great
yeah these jokes and thoughts are coming
to me at a like a 10-second delay so I
apologize anyway you were telling about
the don't worry got it all right um so I
told sometimes you need help no just
getting to
you I was uh your skin is showing
it it's getting dark I told my sister I
go when you were born um one of your
eyes was bigger than the other and you
had to have surgery to fix it so she
turn she's like Mom and my mom goes
honey the important thing is that you're
beautiful now that's all it's like
what's the big deal it was just a little
surgery and I say's like all right calls
grandma and Grandma goes uh she goes
Michael said that when I was born one of
the eyes she goes why is he telling you
this now it's not a big deal you were so
the fact that everyone went with this oh
was I was so impressed I was like this
is a quality family in this very
specific regard yeah does your family
have a sense of humor uh yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah you know Soviet culture
there's like a dark sense of humor very
much there's wit there's uh word play
word play uh yeah yeah especially the
Russian language allows for some
like hilarity to it there's also culture
of like poetry and like um my dad my mom
too but they they remember a lot of
lines from books and poems so there's
just you can do a lot of fasinating
references that add to the humor and the
richness of the of I feel like that's a
very Russian thing like at a party or
maybe at a bar or something I don't know
where you'd meet people these are such
great go out I meant in Russia I meant
these would such good ice breakers right
you go up to someone goes hey did you
hear this one no anecd do and you just
tell him some little story did you say
ice breakers cuz it's cold in
Russia I'm here all night that's you
never leave literally
so I feel like that's a thing yeah and
that's not a thing in
America uh you mean like w witty banter
no meaning you go up to a stranger and
like that's your ice breaker you tell
them this little little joke and since
everyone kind of has the same
sensibilities right away you guys are
chatting I don't think that's a thing
here yeah think here it's more Small
Talk which drives me crazy so what else
do you thankful for well what I what's
something you're thankful for well you
went for family I'm definitely thankful
for family okay yeah how if I may ask
how do they react to you like you're
sitting down with Elon you're sitting
down with Netanyahu you're sitting down
with all these like big with Kanye all
these big names are they expressing that
they're proud of you or is it more like
why haven't you talked to this person
yeah more Michael mes
please The People's Choice yeah yeah
they're they're very proud they've been
very they're very I mean but they get
argumentative when we just they're just
like a
regular human being with whom I'm close
and we just argue about stuff they're
not maybe not enough showed the being
proud of but that that part is just the
nature of our relationship it's also
Soviet parents yeah I don't talk to my
dad that's one the reasons cuz there's
never ever any
um good job and at a certain point it's
like why am I trying
to S SE search for approval from someone
I'm never getting get it for and from
who it wouldn't mean anything at this
point anyway well that's interesting I
mean there's a journey like that for a
lot of people with their father or with
their mother like they're always trying
to find approval right and that's life
for a lot of people yeah that's that's a
really big part of the human condition
is that relationship you have with your
father with your mother I don't know
it's a beautiful thing so it's whether
it's been a rough childhood or beautiful
one all of it that's who you are like
that the relationship especially early
on in your life with your father with
your mother is like extremely formative
yeah so my dad taught me a lot of things
at a young age that I'm very very
grateful for uh he was he's extremely
intelligent very flawed and that's fine
we all are um except for me um and it's
the kind of things that when you learn
things at a right AE and this is one of
the things I like about being older is
that when I'm friends much older when
but much much older when I have friends
who are younger it's very easy for me to
keep them from making the mistakes I did
so at least this is something I'm
getting out of it is that okay I can't
fix these mistakes but it just takes me
30 seconds and I can pull you back from
making the mistake so he taught me a lot
as a kid he really encouraged me very
much to he's a very good sense of humor
and also very bad in some ways um Dad
jokes but also really funny jokes but
also this love of learning uh that I got
that from him and I mean I I have got
literally right now 98 books on my shelf
to read it's just a life that makes me I
remember I had a friend and she ran into
someone she went to high school with and
he stopped on the train and he's like yo
you're not in college you don't need to
read books anymore and I was just like
horrified to hear this yeah yeah boy
don't I know it I mean I mean I I you
laugh but like I I when you got there's
a lot of things I don't understand when
you got heat for like I want to read the
Western Classics to me that that might
have been like the internet at its
absolute worst I I think there's just a
cynical perspective you can take that
they're this is such a simple C ation of
a thing that there must be something
behind it I think the internet for good
and bad is just skeptical like what's
behind this my hero Albert kamu and if
there's one thing I would want to fight
it's cynicism yeah because it's such a
giving up it's such everything sucks
this sucks that suck this sucks most
things suck most standard comedians suck
most movies suck all podcasts suck um
but it doesn't matter Especially Yours
especially mine it's it's watchable
you're welcome he can't even spell it
correctly umh but the stuff that's good
is what
matters the who cares if 90% of movies
are terrible like they're the ones that
change your life the books the people
the The Comedians the shows the music
and even the Terrible Things have good
moments Beautiful Moments some not all
your podcast being an example of not all
I've literally just I keep listening for
something good something good in all
fairness none of my guests have anything
to
offer it's not on me I try yeah well I
wish you'd talk a little less in your
podcast it's a little excessive I only
listen for the underwear
commercials she underwear. comom prob on
malice I think he did this
um I haven't seen you do in a while but
this kind of commentary on on a debate
or um I think it was with Rand like an i
Rand debate or something oh yeah malice
at the movies I watched the video and
and I broke it down that was really
great I wish you did that more I've I
haven't done live streaming in a long
time I it was something I was doing a
lot in New York especially during covid
I feel that um I don't know I'm having I
got so many projects on the
plate uh I'm oh this is something else
I'm thankful for this is something I'm
very very thankful for and I'm I'm going
to announce it here coming out of the CL
finally go
ahead who's the lucky
[Laughter]
guy you're the one in
drag H guns out he makes he makes me
call him sex
Freedman uh you like it so I didn't say
I did all right didn't even imply that
when I in as you probably know
as you know but as many people watching
this also know uh Harvey par car who had
the comic book series American Splendor
was the subject of movie American
Splender he wrote a graphic novel about
me in 2006 called Eon huus which goes
for like $150 on on eBay it's not worth
it just download it and I met
Harvey because I wrote this screenplay
about this band from the 80s called
rubber Rodeo it's a real band and the
keyboardist Gary Lee who passed away
rest in peace Gary introduced me to
Harvey cuz he did the animation for the
movie and the script's been in my desk
for over 20 years and I realized uh
thanks to my buddy Eric jly who has some
huge success with his Comics I Could
Just Produce this as a graphic novel so
I've got an artist we're getting it
together so I'm going to make it happen
finally and it's some of the best
writing I've ever done I'm really proud
of the story it's kind of ironic reading
it now because when you're a writer
obviously you different books you put
different aspects of yourself into them
right and this story is very very dark
because basically they did all the right
things and they went nowhere right and
what I realized was reading it now that
all these fears I had over 20 years ago
about what if I'm not going to make it
what if you know I'm doing all the hard
work and it's still not enough uh now
it's been disproof in because I can at
least pay my rent you feel you like
you've made it so you said you could pay
your rent I feel
that to make it is if you can pay your
if you don't have to have a
boss and you know how I really felt like
I made it this is going to sound like a
joke and it's not uh this is being an
immigrant I own as you know Margaret
Thatcher's bookcases yes so to me as an
immigrant to have her bookcases in my
house I've made it you're right it's not
a joke it's not there's nothing funny
about it at all not
laughing time to get
serious oh nice oh now I'm more
nervous and
aroused uh so what else are you thankful
for so we're both thankful for family
you I mean I'm the fact that I can still
get it up what's that nothing go ahead I
think as an author to be able to write
what you want and have of enough an
audience that it covers your
living that's As Good As It Gets as an
author
almost you don't need to be Stephen King
or some Legend it's like you know
there's lots of standups who aren't like
world famous but they they have
perfectly good living they do their gig
they do what they love I I feel very
very blessed you must be thankful for
your career yeah yeah career-wise but
like uh I think the best part about it
is just meeting making friends with
people I admire okay quite honestly just
friends I you know the people have
gotten to know me I hide from the world
sometimes I hit some low points
especially with this new all the new
experiences and just the people that
have been there for me Haven giving up
on me you know there's days and I'm sure
you've had this also where like I
literally don't speak to someone the
whole day and in certain times of my
life it's really I I remember very
vividly I I was in DC in 97 I was an
intern and that summer uh DC closes down
on the weekends and I remember those
weekends when like I got off the phone
with like the third person I knew there
was no possibility anyone was going to
call and what that felt like and it was
dark and it was bad um so I I remember
that those feelings of loneliness um
like a lot I still feel alone like that
sometimes you don't feel you don't feel
alone um not
anymore what's the what's the reason you
think I
because there's like I have a lot of
people who I care about who care about
me uh I I mean the thing about moving to
Austin is I forgot how lonely New York
got because it was like one after
another I lost everybody and a certain
and then you start losing the places you
go to and then it was just like holy
crap I'm very isolated and here in
Austin there's not as much to do
obviously as in New York but there's a
lot of people here more people are
coming all the time um so if I ever want
to like hang out with someone
you know I've got a long list um and
these are people who I've known for a
very long time people who know me quite
well so I could be myself um my awful
awful awful awful awful self uh and that
is something I don't take lightly now
you moved to Texas is going to suceed
yeah it's just a very uh do you know
what happened with that no I forget the
guy's name and it's probably for the
best Monday on Monday a guy in the Texas
legislature introduces a Bill to have it
on the referendum to have a referendum
for Texas to declare its independence MH
Tuesday I'm on Rogan me and him discuss
it I give it national attention it was
also really funny because a lot of
people like these people have been in
Texas for five minutes BL I go to the
Texas legislature meet with the guy have
a nice
conversation month or two later uh
unanimous I think he gets voted kicked
out of Congress because he got didn't
drunk and was inappropriate with her and
at least it was the girl in this case
but yeah so it's like um that was my
little Texas Independence moment oh it
didn't go anywhere it did not go
anywhere
well but it's still part of the uh
platform the Texas Republican party yeah
it's fascinating that history is
probably ladened with stories like this
of failed revolutionaries we celebrate
the heroes but then there's the losers
like myself yeah
and we're going to mark that one as a
failure and edit it
out and moving on the thankful yeah
friendships right but by the way I want
to say just to you I'm thankful in this
lonely moments for people who write
books I've been listening to audiobooks
a lot and reading a lot I really like
audiobooks actually and just
like I don't know I can just name random
person Siri PLO he's a historian I'm
reading on the wait I read him what he
what he I just he written a book most
recently about the Russia Ukraine war he
wrote another one that I read didn't he
write Empires I think the fall of the
Soviet Union something like that yeah
yeah yeah it was very very good he's
great I used him as a resource for the
white pill he's uh objective while still
having emotion and feeling to it like he
has a bias that's fine but without um a
lot of times when you write a story that
involves Putin people are really
ideological they don't really like they
don't write with the calmness and the
clarity and the rigor of History there's
emotion in it like there's almost a
virtue signaling yeah and he doesn't
have that even though he is Ukrainian
and is very strong opinions on the
matter anyway there's people like that
and he's does an incredible job
researching a recent event uh like he
says uh I was looking at everything
that's been written about the war in
Ukraine and realizing you know the old
church line that historians are the
worst ones to write about current events
except everybody else and so he's like I
I'll might as well just write about this
war and he does an exceptional job
summarizing dayby day the details of
this this war anyway so I'm just
grateful for a guy like
that uh so for me there's I'll name some
historians I love Arthur Herman Victor
Sebastian is is probably my favorite
um David petrusa P i e t r u s Za when
you are a historian and I try to do this
to some degree in the white pill as much
as I could yeah when you
take
data and you make it read like a
novel this so you're learning about who
we are as people what had happened but
also it's entertaining and readable that
to me is like the Acme of writing and I
have so much admiration what does Acme
mean top okay Zenith Zenith okay um this
is what writers do they just come up
with these incredibly sophisticated
words I'm impressed well AC you could
have just said the best of writing Acme
is also the company in Like Bugs Bunny
and Wy coyote it's always Acme St you
know Acme yeah yeah like Acme bombs um
when they are that good it's it's just
it just I it leaves me in awe it's just
Ron chernow is another one who he wrote
The Hamilton B graphy oh
nice well I I have a lot of favorite
historians about the
whole uh time period of World War II
will Shire people that lived during it
especially I really like those accounts
obviously soier nson is he's not a
historian but his accounts are sure
fascinating you actually how how much do
you talk about Soul nson ever not much
right why not I feel like I wanted to
I I there's nothing I could add to
him he did he is the Michael mice of the
previous
Century no he's talented charismatic and
and skilled so he's not the Michael
malice uh yeah I I did not um I feel
like I didn't I I didn't read Gulag
archipelago for the white pill I didn't
I didn't no I feel I got a lot of it
from an Apple bam who's a very
controversial figure her history books
on the Soviet Union I think are superb
but she's also accused of being very
much like a neocon and being a warmonger
in contemporary times oh I see and I
think comparisons between Putin and
Stalin although there is a van diagram I
I think are a bit much because I I think
it's very hard to claim that you know if
Putin conquered Ukraine that there would
be a genocide yeah I don't think I think
that's a very hard argument to make in
these tense times even the comparisons
of what's going on in Israel on either
side comparisons to Holocaust are also
troubling in this way yes and and I also
don't like how that turn you know I got
in trouble there was some literal demon
who works at the Atlantic and as opposed
to a regular demon as opposed to a
figurative demon I didn't know they
employed demons that's they exclusively
employed demons at the Atlantic and he
was giving me crap this a couple years
ago on Twitter because I didn't think
it's appropriate to refer to George
Soros as a holocaust Survivor
and I'm like listen if you want to put
him in the same context as an Frank
knock yourself out but I think that's so
completely
disingenuous and and frankly repulsive
to me morally to equivocate between
figures like that um and also to claim
that anyone who is a billionaire who is
including Elon including Sheldon Aden
there's no shortage of these people if
you want to use your extreme wealth use
to influence politics you have to be up
for criticism and and to protect people
Bill Gates to protecting these people
from criticism just on the basis of
their identity is is derang to me but
also the
Holocaust as a
historical event and the atrocities
within it are just singular in history
and so comparing them what's the utility
right you're just you're just basically
trying to take this brand I'm using that
term you know in a very specific way and
latch like when they say climate denal
no one's denying climate exists so
you're just trying to go off of
Holocaust denial I think it's Shameless
and I think it's it's it's gross and it
cheapens everything because there's deep
important lessons about the Holocaust
yes to me the lessons are
about how extreme it can get and how
fast yeah and how fast that's the one so
you know people ask oh are humans
basically good are they basically evil I
always say they're basically animal
and I think people are most people are
almost fundamentally deranged and that
there's basically this veneer of
civilization and decency and when shit
hits the fan and we see this over and
over they do things that would have been
completely Unthinkable even to
themselves 5 years
ago most people are fundamentally
deranged with a veneer of Civility
there's a show called um I think I
disagree with that what's the show
called I'm having Alzheimer's cuz of the
advanced AG age the skin there's there's
a show called I think you should leave
it's a sketch you should leave okay
sorry it's a sketch comedy show and he
captures these great how's your hair
princess he captures these great
moments of just the like just the very
thin veneer of normaly and just the
craziness that's so frequently lurking
underneath another great example of this
when this is dealing with people who are
literally crazy every you ever seen the
show hoarders so every episode of
Hoarders every there's two usually two
people in every episode but every
episode has the same plot line veneer of
normaly veneer of normaly veneer of
normaly slight expression of concern for
blond arangement and it always follows
that exact
pattern yeah I don't know I think the
deep ocean of the human mind
is is good like there's a longing to be
good to others I have seen literally no
evidence of this and I know everything's
the deep ocean with you people but like
what do you mean you people Pirates oh I
don't see it you you what's that Mr
parrot you an
anti-semite no that's not nice to say in
front of such a large audience you're
embarrassing me Mr parrot Lex you Mr per
you you have he's he's a run-of-the-mill
troll and barely an intellectual that's
not nice to say that's not true we
talked about this you have to see the
good in people you have seen personally
Y how quickly and easily it is for human
beings to form out groups yeah and to
just read others just as I just did a
minute ago with the Atlantic completely
out of the human race and that happens
constantly and very easily humans are
tribal beings so that does not I don't
see how that's compatible with this
essential desire to do good no I I think
it's like in 1984 the two minutes of
hate there is a part of humans that
wants to be tribal yeah and wants to
direct get angry and hateful and then
that hate is easy to direct yes by
especially people as you uh as an
anarchist talk about there people in
power that can direct that anger but I
think if you just look at recent human
history the desire for good the communal
desire for good outweighs that I think
like most of life on Earth right now
people are being good to each other in
in the
most fundamental sense relative to how
nature usually works I okay I think
you're both wrong about people and about
nature so nature is not
inherently violent in the sense like for
example if anyone has an aquarium or if
you look at Wildlife yeah you're going
to have Predator prey but these animals
are going to be coexisting and they're
going to be ignoring each other for the
most part right and as for humans you
know being essentially good I think
humans are essentially not to each other
you said I think they're essentially
civil and amiable but that's not really
being good good I think is a thing that
gets Illustrated when you're challenged
when there's difficult situations I mean
civility is a good starting point and
then when there's a big challenge that
comes people step up on average
I completely agree with you that human
beings are capable of such profound
goodness that it kind of makes
you extremely emotional and I I
certainly think that that's true but I
think that that's more unusual than it
is the norm I see beauty everywhere so
do I but that doesn't mean it's in every
person not in every person but in most
people I think I mean I wish there was a
really good way to measure this my
general sense of the world is just
there's so much incredible both in terms
of economics in terms of Art in terms of
just creation as as a whole that's
happened over the past Century
that it feels like the good is outp
powering the bad you just did the
perfect segue mhm to the
Box what's in the box so is it your
fragile egoo that's my you stole my joke
you stole my joke that was the joke I
made at you before we recorded you stole
my joke no did I I write all your
material you
hack so as you know I have a lot of
beautiful stuff in my house because I
think it's something very important
everyone listening if you accomplish
something that is great some
achievement what I like to do is buy
myself something to remember that moment
cuz sometimes when it's hard you forget
you've done great things in your life
you've had accomplishments doesn't have
to be some amazing Factory it could just
be like my first job or I got a raise or
you know what I
I
anything
so there's this amazing
sculptor named Jake Michael singer
singer who's a
sculptor and I saw a piece of his how's
his singing
voice this this joke's not I hold on I
can go somewhere with this how is this
singing voice do you want me to write
your joke for you yeah what's the
punchline um
hard there it is that's that's what she
said so I followed him on Instagram he
followed me back MH and he's like if I
made he say what's the point of being an
artist if the work I create isn't in the
spaces of people I like and admire he a
big fan of yours you've given him and
our episodes together give him Joy so he
said if I get a SC make Lex a sculpture
will he put on the shelf behind him and
what that reminded me of is when I was a
kid uh you read Batman comics and
there's the Batcave and the Batcave has
all this cool stuff in it I didn't
realize until much later that all of
those things in the Batcave had an
origin story so the giant Penny the
dinosaur there was actually a story
where that came from so if you're fan of
a show you can spot oh this is when this
appeared this is when that appeared this
when that appeared so he made you this
sculpture uh he lives in Turkey um and
it's called chance
murmur and it is I haven't even seen it
yet it is absolutely beautiful all right
this so you want to do a little unboxing
yes okay uh axe
or body
spray all right let that's on
I'm so
excited he lik ins out the
box you know uh that Steven Seagal movie
where there's like a stripper that comes
out of the box is that uh under sieg
he's on a
boat you're not an action film guy
no
one what does the pirate say when he
turns
80 what i
m i
oh oh see that's how I know you don't
like humor I just don't like Pirates
well your mom does do you play any
musical instruments
no neither do you I've seen your guitar
videos
okay here's a big piece of wood for you
that's what it feels like just so you
know oh
wow
oh my
God this traveled across the
world so here's why his work speaks so
much to me so first of all he's
combining so many different
references it's Nike the goddess of
Victory right it's that it looks like an
angel as well um the Italian futurist
Which is my favorite art movement from
the early 20th century they tried to
capture Motion in 2D or 3D form well
Jake thank
you thank you thank you thank you for
creating beautiful things thank you for
caring about somebody like me and
somebody like Michael who really feel
the love that's the other thing when you
have something that matters to you in
your house and you're having a bad day
you can look at it and remember you know
what I mean that Spirit of joy
and I actually have a list here okay I
got a little rant ready you want to hear
my rant yeah let's go one of the things
that drives me
crazy is when people especially
conservatives think that all
Contemporary Art is ugly or abstract or
like literally garbage and there's a lot
of that but so much of the stuff out
there in galleries is not only not crazy
expensive but they're trying to sell
things for people in their house and
these are young artists you know they're
trying to add Beauty I have a list so if
you don't believe me and you think all
Contemporary Art is garbage or terrible
go to the website or any of these places
that I'm going to Rattle off look
through them and you're telling me that
that it's not about creating Beauty and
joy and things in people's lives so I
don't have any relationship with any of
these people these are just some
galleries I follow on Instagram utre
Gallery antler Gallery giant robot 2
binart I don't know how to pronounce I'm
sorry b a b i n a r t spoke Art Gallery
VAR gall in Milwaukee I was there the
pieces were not expensive at all what
kind of art are we talking about
everything mostly paintings mostly
paintings some sculptures too like this
Cory hord is my favorite one in La Night
Gallery vertical Gallery Avant Gallery
Hive Gallery Haven gallery and curio Art
Gallery I'm telling you uh it's not
exorbitant this is not the kind of thing
where you have to go to Museum and be
like this doesn't make sense to me you
look at it right away you're like okay I
know what this is and it's beautiful
it's awesome um and you're supporting
someone who's young and creative trying
to do something and make the world a
better place so I'm a big fan of the
Contemporary Art scene a lot of it is
not great but even the stuff that's not
great is very rarely disgusting or gross
it's just like okay I've seen this
before something like that okay there's
it's like differ between there's like a
standup where like I'll pay money for
the ticket and someone's like who's an
opener it's like I wouldn't pay to see
him perform but he sure still made me
laugh that person is still more more by
far more good than bad so a lot of this
artist and stuff I would own but it's
like okay I get it I like it well as the
analogy goes I I really like going to
open mics actually because like fun it
sounds absurd to say but funny isn't the
only thing that's beautiful about
standup comedy it's the act
the the it's it's going for it it's
trying to be funny it's taking the leap
trying the joke and some of the best
stuff is actually fun