Kind: captions
Language: en
الحمد لله على احسانه، والشكر له على توفيقه وامتنانه
واشهد ان لا إله الا الله وحده لا شريك له تعظيما لشانه
واشهد ان محمدا عبده ورسوله الداعي إلى رضوانه
اللهم صلي عليه وعلى إله واصحابه واخوانه
Ladies and gentleman, may Allah subhanallahu wa Ta'ala give us blessing
Let us praise and thank for the presence of Allah Almighty, for the abundance of grace
that gives us an opportunity to gather around
for studying the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu alaihi wasallam
shalawat and greetings we pour out to the Prophet Muhammad
and for his family
and for all of his friends without exception
let's continue our lesson
We have been entered to the second chapter
the chapter of dedicating and connecting the relationship
In the last meeting, we talked about
the meaning of "Rahim"
who is our Rahim
that should have connected
There are three opinion between Ulama
The first opinion says,
The compulsory relationship that must be maintained
is the relationship that has Mahram relation
Mahram that is forbidden to marry with
If there was a women and men, they can not get married
such as, my aunt and I cannot get married
Consequently, i must connected the relationship with them
Likewise, if among my uncle and I is a women and men
they can not marry
Thus, it's the Mahram which is obliged to
Rahim that is obliged to connect
It is all Rahim that is our Mahram
From this opinion,
The cousin is Rahim but it's not Mahram
So, we are not obliged to connect with them
but it is a Sunnah and it's not compulsory degree
These are the first opinion choosen by Mazhab Hanabilah
So, we must be connected to Rahim which is Mahram
Because they confused on how to make a relation with cousin while cousin is not Mahram
and they are allowed to marry
The second opinion,
Rahim which is obligate to connect
to connect the relationship
who was an heir
these are the opinion of some fuqaha
from Mazhab Maliki and Syafi'i
same as the opinion of Imam Nawawi and Al Qhodi'iyah
Based on Hadist of Abu Hurairah,
when someone asked to Rasulullah
يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ الصُّحْبَةِ؟
Ya Rasulullah, who is the most person that I should treat them well
Rasul said
أُمُّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ
your mother, your mother, your mother
ثم أبُوكَ
then your father
ثُمَّ أَدْنَاكَ أَدْنَاكَ
and the next
here, Rasulullah mentioned tsumma adna wa adna
your mother, mother,mother, and your father
and the closest
some Sheikh figure out the meaning of the closest is
is the heir
Therefore, the person that ought to connect is the heir
besides the heir should not connected the relationship
Yet, this opinion is debated with hadith Rasul Salallaahu alaihi wa sallam
Al qhoodatu bi manzilati um
Rasul said,
the position of the aunt is same as mother
whereas the aunt is not the heir
that proved that Rasul ordered us to connect the relationship with aunty
Though she is not the heir
do you understand?
So, the second opinion is weak
the third opinion,
said that all relatives must be connected the relationship
because it is general, either he\she is mahrom or not
as long as they are relatives,
either they are the heir or not as long as they are relatives
we should connect the relationship with them
But, this opiniion is too wide
So there is no limit,
if we look back, our relatives will be on the prophet of Adam
we're all relatives
it's heavy
That why the first opinion is the stronger
the people that should be connected the relationship is Mahrom only
it doesn't mean we're not connect the relation with cousins
we're still should connect with them, but it's not compulsory
So there is the main scope that we should connect
father
mother, brother, sister
aunty
these are the main person that we should connect the relationship
treat them well, both word and deed.
we can give them a gift
or if we have money we can give them money
or we can visit and call them, the main scope of person
here's what we need to pay attention
The cousin is Sunnah, it's not up to mandatory degrees
if we don't call them, we're not sinful
it's not up to commit a sin degree
but we leave the recommended ones
alright
the next issue,
the law of a child who are dedicated to parents which Kafir and Fasiq
how did a child dedicated to a parents who are Kafir and Fasiq
The sheikh agree with each other,
dedicated to parents is a must
whether they are Mukmin or Kafir
Shaleh or Fasiq
As long as they are our parents,
we must be dedicated to them
the hadith is distinct, as Allah says;
in chapter Luqman, verse 14-15
Allah said;
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ
وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents.
His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness.
وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ
and his weaning is in two years.
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
Be grateful to Me and to your parents;
to Me is the [final] destination.
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me."
So, this verse was talked about two parents which Kafir
That's why Allah said
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me
مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ
which you have no knowledge
فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا
do not obey them
but Allah said
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
this verse was exactly about parents which Musyrik
it turns out Allah ordered us to dedicate with parents which Musyrik
and this is the statement of the interpreter,
such as Al Baghowi
Al Baghowi define مَعْرُوفًا as,
الْبِرُّ وَالصِّلَةُ وَالْعِشْرَةُ الْجَمِيلَةُ
it is dedicating to parents, connecting the relationship
and interact well to them
same as Ibnu Athiiyah.
defined
وَصاحِبْهُما فِي الدُّنْيا مَعْرُوفاً
accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
يعني الأبوين الكافرين
أي صلهما بالمال وادعهما برفق
it is two parent which Kafir
connect the relationship with parents who are Kafir,
by giving them treasure
while Ibnu Athiyah said,
if both of our parent is Kafir,
we're still should treat them well
by giving both of them treasure
وادعهما برفق
and tell them to convert into Islam gently
similarly, Asma binti abu bakar tell the story,
قَدِمَتْ عَلَيَّ أُمِّي وَهِيَ مُشْرِكَةٌ
One day my mother was come,
so Abu Bakar had a wife
whether she has been divorced and she was Musyriq
His daughter named Asma'
so Asma' and Aisyah was from one father but different mother
one father but different mother
his mother was came when there was a Hudaibiyah contract
she was came to visit his daughter, Asma'
Asma' said
فَاسْتَفْتَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
So Asma' ask a question to Rasul because she was hesitant
Her mother is kafir and musyriq
should I connect the relationship with her?
if her mother is muslimah, she wouldn't ask a question to Rasul
but she was hesitant because her mother is musyriq
that's why i ask a question to Rasul
أَفَأَصِلُ أُمِّي؟
should I connect the relationship and treat her well?
وَهِيَ رَاغِبَةٌ
while her mother wanted to treat her daughter well
Rasulullah said
نَعَمْصِلِي أُمَّكِ
yes, you should connect the relationship with your mother
eventhough her mother was musyriq
Even,
some sheikh from Mazhab Malikiyyah was proposed that,
I quote from my book
this is the opinion of some sheikh Mazhab Malikiyyah
if a Moslem had a parents which kafir
and if both parents which kafir asked his child to accompany them to go to the church,
for example, their parents cannot go by themselves because they were blind, or can't walk, or too old
So, the child must accompany her parents to go to the church
what's up with that?
because going to the church is a good deed according to the religion of their parents
even if the habit of his parents is drinking khamr,
then their parents ordered us to buy Khamr, we should buy it
that is the opinion of some sheikh from mazhab Malikiyyah
the opinion of Sheikh
that's why Tohir bin Asyur said,
قَالَ فُقَهَاؤُنَا
he said, some sheikh from mazhab Malikiyyah has said,
إِذَا أَنْفَقَ الْوَلَدُ عَلَى أَبَوَيْهِ الْكَافِرَيْنِ الْفَقِيرَيْنِ
if a child give their parents which kafir and poor a livelihood,
وَكَانَ عَادَتُهُمَا شُرْبَ الْخَمْرِ
and his parent's habit is drinking khamr,
اشْتَرَى لَهُمَا الْخَمْرَ
Then, you should buy them khamr
this is the opinion, but I dissagree
i convey this opinion to clarify that
the sheikhs want to emphasize the important of dedicate to parents
Some sheikh opine that even if their parents order their child to buy khamr, we should buy it
to emphasize the importance of dedicating to parents
of course, they have an axiom
i will mention from page 160 about the story of Umar bin Khattab with Rasulullah salallaahu alaihi wasallam
that Umar see a silk for sale
in front of the mosque
so Ummar said to the prophet,
ya Rasulullah, how if you buy the silk
and then you can wear it on Friday
to make up on Friday
and then to receive his guest
it is an axiom from some sheikh
that, we should wear our nicest clothes on Friday
and we should receive the guest with neat clothes
do not receive the guest using undershirt
because Umar give an idea to Rasul
to buy a clothes from nice silk so that Rasul can wear it on Friday and to receive his guest
if the guest comes to you
and then Rasul said
إِنَّمَا يَلْبَسُ هَذِهِ مَنْ لاَ خَلاَقَ لَهُ فِي الآخِرَةِ
the one who can wear a silk is kafir people
shortly afterward, there's a present coming to Rasul
in a form of a silk
So, Rasulullah give the silk to Umar bin khattab radhiyallahu ta'ala anhu
because there's lot of silk clothes and Rasul share it to Umar bin khattab
and Umar feel amazed
Umar said
يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، كَسَوْتَنِيهَا وَقَدْ قُلْتَ فِي حُلَّةِ عُطَارِدٍ مَا قُلْتَ؟
now you buy me a clothes from silk
while when i ask you to buy a silk clothes, you said we cannot wear it except for kafir people
and Rasulullah said
إِنِّي لَمْ أَكْسُكَهَا لِتَلْبَسَهَا
I give this silk clothes to you but it is not to wear
and then Umar take that silk
فَكَسَاهَا عُمَرُ أَخًا لَهُ بِمَكَّةَ مُشْرِكًا
then, Umar give the silk to his relatives which still musyriq in Makkah
Umar give the silk clothes to his relatives in Makkah
he's not wear it instead he's giving it to his relatives
this axiom is hadith from Imam Bukhari
some sheikh opine that the silk is allowed to wear by the kafir people
and Umar connect the relationship with his relatives who are Kafir
by giving them the silk
there's khamr and you want to connect the relationship with relatives, then you can offer them khamr
this is the opinion of some sheikh
but they're realized with their opinion
but it's been debated by sheikhs, and the majority of sheikh said it's not allowed
although your parents is kafir and they're ask for khamr, we can't giving it to them
or if they're ask us to accompany them to go to the church, we can't comply them
why not? because Allah said,
وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ
it is not allowance to help each other in form of sins and enmity
alright,
in conclusion, if the parents is kafir only
we should connect the relationship with them
how about Fasiq?
your parents might not prayer, or drink khamr
we still should treat them well
that can't be the reason
because the kafir one should be treated well
even they're kafir and musyriq, we're still should dedicate to them
especially if the parents like to drink khamr, fornicate
you should treat them well anyway
the next issue is,
how is the law of connecting the relationship with relatives who are kafir or fasiq?
for example, you have a brother which Murtad
or young sister or aunty which murtad
should we connect the relationship with them?
for example we convert to Islam while our family are still with their old religion
should we connect the relationship with them?
Wallahu a'lam bisshowwab
but there's a lot of axiom which tell that
it is advisable to connect the relationship with relatives which Kafir
as written in Al Ahzab verse 6
you can read it by yourselves
and then, in Al Baqarah verse 180
Allah said
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا حَضَرَ أَحَدَكُمُ الْمَوْتُ
إِنْ تَرَكَ خَيْرًا الْوَصِيَّةُ لِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ حَقًّا عَلَى الْمُتَّقِينَ
Prescribed for you when death approaches [any] one of you,
if he leaves wealth [is that he should make] a bequest for the parents and near relatives.
according to what is acceptable.
a duty upon the righteous.
so the will is not only for family but for relatives
after the hadith of Rasul was disembarked,
وَلاَ وَصِيَّةَ لِوَارِثٍ
there should be no will for an heir
So the sheikh interpret this verse,
if the parents is Moslem, they can't get a will
why? because the Moslem parents is a legal heir
but, if the parents is kafir, they can get the will
same as the relatives which kafir,
it is became an axiom for the sheikhs
that doing a good deed to relatives although they are kafir
as the prophet Salallaahu alaihi wasallam has said,
when Allah's word was down,
وَأَنْذِرْ عَشِيرَتَكَ الْأَقْرَبِينَ
give a caution for your near realtives
So the prophet Salallahu alaihi wasallam call the Quraisy people
and then they're gather around
then Rasulullah said,
يَا بَنِي كَعْبِ بْنِ لُؤَيٍّ، أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
O the family of Ka'ab bin Luaim,
it was from the grand grandfather of the prophet
save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
يَا بَنِي مُرَّةَ بنِ كَعْبٍ
O the family of Murr'ab bin ka'ab,
أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
يَا بَنِي عَبْدِ شَمْسٍ، أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
O the family of Abdi Syams, save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
يَا بَنِي عَبْدِ مَنَافٍ
Rasulullah was getting specialize
O the family of Abdu Manaf
save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
يَا بَنِي هَاشِمٍ، أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
it's getting near with Rasul's grandfather
O the family of Bani Hasyim,
أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
يَا بَنِي عَبْدِ الْمُطَّلِبِ
it's more specific,
O the family of Abdul Muthallib
it was his uncle and aunt
أَنْقِذُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ مِنَ النَّارِ
save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
Then Rasulullah was getting more specific,
يَا فَاطِمَةُ، أَنْقِذِي نَفْسَكِ مِنَ النَّارِ
O Fatimah, save yourselves from the hell of Jahannam
فَإِنِّي لَا أَمْلِكُ لَكِ مِنَ اللَّهِ شَيْئًا
I can not help you all completely
Rasulullah said,
غَيْرَ أَنَّ لَكُمْ رَحِمًا سَأَبُلُّهُمَا بِبِلَالِهَا
however, you all have a Rahim relationship with me
and I will saturate that Rahim
The sheiks said, Rasulullah was talking with his uncle
which kafir such as Abu Lahab,
Abbas bin Abdul Muthallib,
Abu Thalib,
at that time, Abbas, Abu Thalib and Hamzah was still Kafir
because it was the beginning of the da'wah of Rasulullah salallaahu alaihi wasallam
Rasul said, I can't save you all my uncle which still kafir
and my aunt which still kafir
but you all have Rahim that I should saturate it
some sheikh said the reason why Rasulullah used the word saturating
because discontinue the relationship is
is like something hot
so it should be saturated
it's the axiom of Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam which talked about although they were kafir,
they have rights to be connected in relationship with me
understood?
it was became an axiom that connecting the relationship with relatives which kafir was advisable
alright
so we can see that
if we disconnect the relationship,
with relatives which kafir or fasiq
so, it doesn't say we commit a big sin
but, we're not doing something Sunnah (the recommendede ones)
it was the opinion of Ibnu Hajar radiyallahu ta'ala anhu
That, doing a good deed to relatives which kafir
it's not reach the level of obligatory
As Rasulullah has said
you all have rights to connect the relationship with me
Rasul give a rights to them to convert into Islam
for example, if there is a sister or brother which still kafir,
and there's a hope that they will convert into Islam
So we can connect the relationship with them
but if there isn't hope, we're not necessarily to connect the relationship with them
so that, if the relationship is disconnected because maybe they're harassing our religion,
it's over
it doesn't matter, you don't need to connect the relationship with them
just like Rasulullah didn't connect the relationship with Abu Lahab
Rasulullah didn't connect the relationship because there is no hope that Abu Lahab will convert to Islam
because Abu Lahab keep bothering the da'wah of the prophet salallaahu alaihi wasallam
if there is a kafir people that treat us well, we should treat them well too
especially if our brother is Murtad but there's a hope that they will convert to Islam,
we should try to connect the relationship with them
but if it turns out that they're convert to Islam, just leave them
we doesn't have to connect the relationship with them
we will entered the first chapter about relationship
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ - رضي الله عنه - قَالَ
from a friend named Abu Hurairah,
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم
Rasulullah said,
مَنْ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يُبْسَطَ عَلَيْهِ فِي رِزْقِهِ
Whoever likes to be made easier to get Rizki (treasure)
وَأَنْ يُنْسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَثَرِهِ
and want to get longevity
فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
Thus, they're should connect the relationship
hadith riwayah Al Imam Bukhari
it's the remarkable superiority of connecting the relationship
it turns out the benefit of connecting the relationship is
not only get a reward for hereafter, putting you into heaven
but also get a goodness which accelerate by Allah in the world
namely, you will be easier to get Rizki (treasure)
and get a longevity
became easier to get Rizki and to get a longevity
what does that mean?
generally, there are two opinion between the sheikhs
the first opinion stated that the meaning of became easier to get Rizki and to get a longevity
was get a blessing from Allah Subahanallahu wa Ta'ala
because their Rizki and their age will not changed
it has been destined by Allah Ta'ala
their age will not be extended and their Rizki will not multiplied
because it has been predestined and the destiny will not changed
So, it means you will get a blessings
although your Rizki as written in destiny,
it turns out he can give charity to people, or doing Umroh, or doing Hajj
why his Rizki get blessing from Allah?
So he feels that his Rizki is a lot
same as his age,
his age is just same as written in his destiny
but his age is blessings
he spend time to read Qur'an, to help people, to help his parents
to give living for his family
all his day was beneficial, no waste of time
why? because he always connect the relationship
so that Allah give blessing to his age and Rizki
this is the first opinion
the second opinion is
his will get more Rizki and get an additional age for real
get more Rizki and get an additional age for real
for example, his age on destiny is fifty years old
But because he always connect the relationship, his age become seventy years old
get a bonus for twenty year
another example is he has been destined to get Rizki one hundred billion throughout his life
but because he always connect the relationship, he get twenty billion
he really get an extra Rizki and age
and this is the stronger opinion from hadith visibly
why? because destiny can change
the destiny in the hand of angel can change
what is the argumentation?
in chapter ar ra'd verse 39, Allah said
يَمْحُو اللَّهُ مَا يَشَاءُ وَيُثْبِتُ وَعِنْدَهُ أُمُّ الْكِتَابِ
Allah said, Allah eliminates what He wills or confirms, and with Him is the Mother of the Book.
or Allah wipes out or Allah decreed, it's all up to Allah
وَعِنْدَهُ أُمُّ الْكِتَابِ
and with Him is the Mother of the Book (Lauh Mahfuzh) that will not change
in the Lauh Mahfuzh that will not change
so what does that mean?
here's the explanation
the destiny has some level
there's a daily destiny
the destiny of age
the destiny of year
there's a destiny of Lauh Mahfuzh
the only one who knows the destiny on Lauh Mahfuzh is Allah
and it wouldn't change
إِنَّ الله كَتَبَ مَقَادِيرَ الْخَلَائِقِ
قَبْلَ أَنْ يَخْلُقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ بِخَمْسِينَ أَلْفَ سَنَةٍ
Verily, Allah has write the destiny of all his creature
five thousand years before he create the creature
it's the destiny of Lauh Mahfuzh
and then, there is another destiny which more detailed
taken from
in plain language, it's like taking the database from Lauh Mahfuzh
that's a daily destiny
Allah said
كُلَّ يَوْمٍ هُوَ فِي شَأْنٍ
Everyday, Allah had a business
one of it is Allah predestine everyday
there's a daily decision from Allah
there is an annually decision from Allah
إِنَّا أَنْزَلْنَاهُ فِي لَيْلَةٍ مُبَارَكَةٍ إِنَّا كُنَّا مُنْذِرِينَ
فِيهَا يُفْرَقُ كُلُّ أَمْرٍ حَكِيمٍ
Allah said, Indeed, We sent the Qur'an down during the Night of Decree.
a blessed night
So, in that night, all matters are set
so that, every year, there is an annual destiny
every Lailatul Qadr (the night of decree) Allah said,
from now until the next year, there will be an incident like this and like that
namely an annual destiny
the data was taken from Lauh Mahfuzh
there is the destiny of age
the destiny which related to someone's age
which the angels write when someone was still become an embryo
Rasululloh said
فَيُرْسَلُ إلَيْهِ الْمَلَكُ
So, Allah send the angel to the fetus
Then, the angel was ordered to write four case
بِكَتْبِ رِزْقِهِ، وَأَجَلِهِ
وَعَمَلِهِ، وَشَقِيٌّ أَوْ سَعِيدٌ
the angels was ordered to write his death, fortune
charity, and his happiness or sadness
The sheikhs stated that,
an angel's written record,
as Allah said before
So, the destiny on the angel's written record can change
what is the argumentation?
Allah said
يَمْحُو اللَّهُ مَا يَشَاءُ وَيُثْبِتُ
Allah change what he want to change, and decreed it
وَعِنْدَهُ أُمُّ الْكِتَابِ
on Allah's side, there is Lauh Mahfuzh whereas the data wouldn't change
what does that mean?
let's simplify. I will give you an example
there's someone on his mother's stomach, and he still in form of fetus
and then Allah send the angel to write down
the angel write, this person will dead in the age of fifty year
and his fortune until he dead will be one and a half billions
it was recorded by the angel
it turns out, when he reach thirty years old,
he was very dedicated to his parents
always pleasing to his parents
he love to visit his aunt
he love to call his brother and sister
he love to give a present to his siblings
Allah said to the angels to change the notes
because he love to connect the relationship
So, change the fifty year into seventy year
His fortune which was one and a half billion become twenty billion
because he love to connect the relationship
Then, what happen in Lauh Mahfuzh?
in Lauh Mahfuzh, which was written seventy year and twenty billion
understood?
in Lauh Mahfuz, all of this process have been written
the first angel write down so and so
and then this man was dedicate to his parents
Then Allah ordered the angel to change it into seventy year and twenty billion
in conclusion, in Lauh Mahfuz it has been written seventy year and twenty billion
understood?
this is the second opinion from Sheikhul Islam Ibnu Taimiyah
which was stronger because it was based on zahir hadith
because you don't know your fortune in Lauh Mahfuzh,
and you don't know how long have you live in Lauh Mahfuzh
you just have to undertake this hadith
if you want to have much fortune, you just have to connect the relationship
if you want to get long life, you have to connect the relationship
for example, you want to go work
you call your mother in the morning, and ask her news
how are you mom?
you drive a car while calling to your mother
suddenly, there is an accident
and you hit a banana tree
you supposed to hit a truck
but because you calling to your mother,you didn't die and hit a tree instead
this is only for instance
we don't know what will happen next
for instance, you have a deal with your client
but it was very difficult to agree with each other
then, you're doing a good deed to your parents and suddenly the deal went well
why?
because by connecting the relationship, your fortune will be add up
and your age will be extended
you might have a serious ill
but suddenly you're cured because you're connecting the relationship
Therefore, the stronger hadith which was suit to the Dzahir of the hadith is the second opinion
get an extend fortune and a longevity
it has been proven
peoples who dedicate to their parents, get an easiness to get fortune by Allah
I have never seen a people who dedicate to their parent, get failed in his life
I have never ever seen a people who dedicate to their parent, get failed in his life
what i see is people who dedicate to his parents
whether he is a lecturer, a trader, or anything
Inshaa Allah he will be succeed
why?
because he has connect the main relationship, namely to the parents
alright. let's continue to the second hadith
the prohibition of cuts off the relationship
وَعَنْ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِمٍ - رضي الله عنه - قَالَ:
from a friend, namely Zubair Radiyallahu Anhu, he said
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم
Rasul said
لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ قَاطِعٌ
Verily, the one who cuts off the relationship wouldn't enter the heaven
the meaning of qhooti' is qhootiurrahim
the one who cuts off the relationship wouldn't enter the heaven
مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَيْهِ
a hadith from Imam Al Bukhari and Imam Muslim
so this is an argumentation about the danger of cuts off the relationship
that's why when you open chapter Ar Ra'd
Allah mentioned in one page of Al Quran
you can open the Qur'an and decide whether you want to enter to the heaven or the hell
chapter Ar Ra'd
chapter Ar Ra'd verse 20 and so on
chapter Ar Ra'd, the thirteenth chapter
page one, two, three, four
Allah mentioned in the four page,
the first verse was talking about the resident of heaven which love to connect the relationship
the next verse was talking about the resident of hell which cuts off the relationship
I will read his word
Allah said in verse 21
وَالَّذِينَ يَصِلُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ
And those who join that which Allah has ordered to be joined,
after that, Allah mentioned another character
Then Allah said
أُولَئِكَ لَهُمْ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ
those will have the good consequence of [this] home.
جَنَّاتُ عَدْنٍ يَدْخُلُونَهَا
they will enter the gardens of perpetual residence.
وَمَنْ صَلَحَ مِنْ آبَائِهِمْ
they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers,
وَأَزْوَاجِهِمْ وَذُرِّيَّاتِهِمْ
likewise with their spouses and their descendants.
وَالْمَلَائِكَةُ يَدْخُلُونَ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنْ كُلِّ بَابٍ
And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],
سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ
Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured
فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ
And excellent is the final home.
the sheikhs said,
سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ
Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured
the characters mentioned above requires a patience
one of it is connecting the relationship which require a patience
it's not easy to connect the relationship, it require a patience
then Allah mentioned the second option, namely enter to the hell
وَالَّذِينَ يَنْقُضُونَ عَهْدَ اللَّهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ مِيثَاقِهِ
وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ
But those who break the covenant of Allah after contracting it
وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ
and sever that which Allah has ordered to be joined.
وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِي الْأَرْضِ
and spread corruption on earth.
أُولَئِكَ لَهُمُ اللَّعْنَةُ
for them is the curse,
وَلَهُمْ سُوءُ الدَّارِ
and they will have the worst home.
So, you can choose
if you want to stay in heaven, you should connect the relationship
or if you want to stay in the hell, you can cuts off the relationship
Rasulullah said
لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ قَاطِعٌ
the one who cut of the relationship will not entered to the heaven
that's why disconnecting the relationship is count as a big sin
threatened with hell as mentioned in hadith and Qur'an
أُولَئِكَ لَهُمُ اللَّعْنَةُ
for them, the curse from Allah subhanallahu wa Ta'ala
Allah said
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ
So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth
وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ
and sever your [ties of] relationship?."
أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ
Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed,
فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْ
so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
this is a tremendous threat
from here, we learn that
disconnect the relationship is a big sin
and relationship has three level
the issue of relationship and disconnect the relationship has three level
the first level is
the best relationship rate
namely connect the relationship with relatives who cut off the relationship
connect the relationship to the relatives who did a bad thing to us
The prophet said
لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ
you are not the best person in connecting the relationship if you're doing that because they're doing the same
وَلَكِنِ الوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا
but, the best person in connecting the relationship is
the one who still connect the relationship although his relatives cut it off
this is the best person in connecting the relationship
because he connect the relationship not for the world but for Allah
it's pure because of Allah
the proof is he have been ridiculed, accused, swearing
he still connect the relationship
because he search for a blessings from Allah
So, this is the best person in connecting the relationship as Rasulullah said
but it's difficult
in Sahih Muslim, someone said,
يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ إِنَّ لِي قَرَابَةً أَصِلُهُمْ وَيَقْطَعُونِي
O Rasulullah, I have a relatives
I always connect the relationship with them and treat them well
while they are always cut off the relationship
وَأُحْسِنُ إِلَيْهِمْ وَيُسِيئُونَ إِلَيَّ
I'm doing a good deed to them but they're doing bad things to me
وَأَحْلُمُ عَنْهُمْ وَيَجْهَلُونَ عَلَيَّ
I always being patient with them, but they are always unfair to me
yajhalu means unfair
فَقَالَ
Rasulullah said
so he tell a story to Rasulullah about what to do with relatives who always unfair to him
Ive been treat them well but they're doing bad things to me
I treat them well but they're not
I've been patient but they're unfair to me
I've been connect the relationship but they're just cut it off
what should I do?
Rosulullah salallaahu alaihi wasallam said,
لَئِنْ كُنْتَ كَمَا قُلْتَ، فَكَأَنَّمَا تُسِفُّهُمُ الْمَلَّ
If the condition is same as what you said,
Thus, as though you put a hot dust in their mouth
وَلَا يَزَالُ مَعَكَ مِنَ اللهِ ظَهِيرٌ عَلَيْهِمْ مَا دُمْتَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ
there will be angels that Allah sent with you
and help you as long as you're doing that
So, if there was someone who get a bad treatment from his relatives, and he repay with kindness
Allah sent the angels to help us
to strengthen us
but if we replay with badness,
the help from Allah will gone
that's the best person in connecting the relationship
But it's not easy to do that, it's difficult
we have quarrel with our relatives
suddenly, our brother and sister abused us which make us become emotional
but if we can be patient, it's very hard
and the reward is incredible
the second level is connecting the relationship if they're doing a good deed
whereas, if relatives are not doing good deed, you reply it with bad attitude too
this is not the best person in connecting the relationship
but it's not said that he disconnect the relationship
because the relatives start that action and he just replying the same action
it is not said that he connect the relationship, but also not said as disconnecting the relationship
and the most dangerous is the third level, namely the one who disconnect the relationship
we are the one who create the problem with our relatives
we're the one who create the problem with the brother
we're misjudged the sister
for example, your brother become a successful, but you're saying bad things to him
this often happen to me
someone said to me that his relatives is poor
while I am rich alhamdulillah
when I am playing with them, they said that he's arrogant
when i bought a new car, they said that I am arrogant
everything was awry
they said that I am just show off
when I give them a present, they said that I am look down on them
it's troublesome
So, it's a test of life
if you don't want to be tested, just die
because life is a testing ground
So, the angels said
سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ
Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured
it's the argumentation that connecting the relationship needs a patience
it need a patience
I feel that all of you might have your own experience
because not all of our relatives is always smile to us
relatives has each own character
Even, some sheikh said,
Ustadz, when I meet my relatives, problem arise
it's even better for me to stay away from them
I said, you can't do that, it means you're cutting off the relationship so you're still have to meet them
but if I meet them, they said bad thing to me
the solution is you can meet them but just a moment
if you meet them for long, you might start talking about someone, blaming others, etc
So, if you meet them, you can just say hello to them. kiss each other, give a present, and go home
don't too long
but you cannot cut off the relationship
The third hadith
let's discuss about the behaviors which forbidden by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
the hadith is quite long
related to the things forbid by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
وَعَنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ بْنِ سَعِيدٍ - رضي الله عنه
from a friend, namely Mughiro bin Syu'bah radiyallahu anhu
عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم
from Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam, he said,
إِنَّ اللَّهَ حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ عُقُوقَ الْأُمَّهَاتِ
Indeed, Allah forbid over you to disobedient to your mother
وَوَأْدَ الْبَنَاتِ
Allah forbid over you to burying a girl alive
وَمَنْعًا وَهَاتِ
can only sue, but doesn't give the right of others
وَكَرِهَ لَكُمْ قِيلَ وَقَالَ
and Allah hates the word of "people said like this and like that"
وَكَثْرَةَ السُّؤَالِ
and too much questioning and ask for favor
وَإِضَاعَةَ الْمَالِ
and Allah also hates people who throwing away treasure
hadith from Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim
Here, Rasulullah mention some things forbid by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
or hated by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
the first one is disobedient toward mother
this is the bigger sins
disobedient with father is also a big sins
but the most worst is disobedient with mother
someone became more scare to his father rather than his mother
that's why, it's very rare a child scream at his father, because he will be beaten by his father
but he dare to scream at his mother
because a mother wouldn't do anything to him, he might get a hug, kisses
because a mother is a woman and weak
Therefore, there is a bigger potential to disobedient with mother
that's why, being disobedient with mother can cause a bigger sins
as mentioned on hadith earlier, when there was a man asking a question to Rasulullah
مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ الصُّحْبَةِ؟
O Rasulullah, who is the most deserving person, to get a dedication and a goodwill from me?
Rasulullah said
أُمُّكَ
your mother
ثُمَّ مَنْ؟
and then, who else O Rasul?
Rasulullah repeat, your mother
who else O Rasulullah?
Rasulullah answer it three times, your mother
the four one is
أبُوكَ
your father
So, mother was mentioned three times
that doesn't mean you must have three wife
your mother, the other mother, and the other mother
don't misunderstand
his mother is one ,but it's been repeated three times
that doesn't mean three mother
don't get a wrong argumentation
why a mother has been mentioned three times?
Actually some sheikhs try to take a lesson
why a mother has been mentioned three times
because a mother has experience some difficulties which father never experience it
in a three conditions
when she got pregnant,
during childbirth,
during breastfeeding
the three condition which father can never ever experience it
that's why, mother has been repeated three times
When we are still in our mother's belly, we're such a troublesome for her
But we don't realize it
we just realized when we have a wife
and we know that our child in the belly was quite troublesome for our wife
it's not easy
for example, our wife was craving, but she can't eat carelessly
sometimes the doctor ask her to eat something she didn't like
craving is not made, but it's real
you can't say," you can't craving, it's bid'ah"
it's not bid'ah
doesn't mean like that
because there are people who said craving is bid'ah
it is related to the change of hormone and such a thing
it's been proven medically
So, it makes she doesn't like some food
that's why I have ever heard that
a woman might hate the smell of her husband's sweat
when she was craving
it's an unbelievable pain
it's not my personal experience anyway
So she doesn't like the smell and refuse to approach her husband
her husband want to close with her, but she don't want it
why? because she can't smell her husband's sweat
and much more
she likes certain smell, or certain food and much more
I've ever heard a story
his wife want him to climb up on the dresser
I don't know if it's true or not, but I think it's not right
but this often happen. suddenly your wife want to eat certain food
she want to eat Gado-Gado at 12 a.m
where we can find it?
she want to eat meatball at 12 a.m . where we can find it?
suddenly, she want to eat it
we used to be like that. and it makes our mother and father feel inconvenient
but we forgot about that
imagine if you put a three kilogram iron on your belly and walking with it, it feel uncomfortable
you used to be on your mother's belly and she was suffering
that's why Allah said
حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ
His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness.
quite troublesome
Not to mention the time she gave birth
when she give birth, she was fight with the death
there was a lot of mother who die because of childbirth
Not to mention breastfeeding
is it Adhan already?
how many time left?
two more minutes
ladies and gentleman who has been blessed by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
Therefore, someone should remember his mother's primacy
if we want to know how hard it is to be a mother
I've ever heard a story in Quran radio
there was a man who want to know how hard it is to be a mother
he said to his wife, "Today i will take care our son, you can relax
He take care of his son, carry him to calm his son, give him a milk bottle
take a bath of his child, and he was so tired doing it
then he realized that his mother used to be like this
it's difficult to take care of a child
if our son is sick, who is the one who cries the most? it's our wife
she can't sleep, feel anxious
why? because she think about her sick son
So that, don't forget the mother's struggle
Consequently,
dedicating to a mother has an incredible reward
I will mention the history form the Salaf
on how devoted to their mother
as written in page 180
Muhammad ibnu munqadir rahimahulloh said
بت أغمز رجل أمي، وبات أخي يصلي ليلته
فما تسرني ليلته بليلتي
Ibnul Munqadir said
last night, I massage my mother's feet
while my brother, Umar, doing prayer all night long
but if I was asked to share the reward, i wouldn't do that
because I know that massaging my mother's feet has a big reward
because Allah ordered us to dedicate with parents
is it adzan already?
we will continued after prayer in shaa allah
dedicate to parents, especially toward mother
قَالَ أَبُوْ بكر بن عَيَّاش
Abu bakar bin 'Ayyash said,
رُبمَا كنت مَعَ مَنْصُور بن الْمُعْتَمِر
sometimes I am going with Mansur bin Mu'tamir
جالسا في منزله
Mansur bin Mu'tami was a sheikh
they were sit in his house
فتصيح به أمه
suddenly his mother called him
وكانت فظة عليه
and his mother being so ragged to him
فتقول
his mother said
يا منصور يريدك ابن هبيرة على القضاء فتأبى
O Mansur, ibnuhu bairoh. want to adopt you as a magistrates. Qodhi
and you refuse it
وهو واضع لحيته على صدره، ما يرفع طرفه إليها
whereas Mansur ibnu Murtami' When he was scolded her mother. he lowered his eyes
So that his beard was on his chest
He didn't dare to look at his mother
this indicated how dedicated he was to his mother
So, the story is, Mansur will be raised as a judge
as a judge in that city
He refuse it, and surely he has his reason
become a judge is not easy
القاض في الجنة والقاضيان في النار
there was one judge in heaven and two judge in Hell
it's vulnerable
if he was mistaking the punishment, he will be dragged into the hell
that's why he refuse it.
Many predecessors, some sheikh who refuse to be a judge (qodhi)
because it was a risky and dangerous job
Though it was an honor job, but they refuse it
his mother scold him
why you don't want to be a Qodhi' (a judge)?
but Manshur was keep silent and doesn't feel arrogant in front of his mother
He didn't say,
Mom, you didn't understand. it's an dangerous job.
He keep silent
his mother was scream at him but he just keep silent
whereas he was very respected by other
another example was from a story of Abu Hanifah rahimahullahu ta'ala
So, his mother was ever ask a question about an issues to Abu Hanifah
Abu Hanifah was the most pious man in his day
the most pious man in his day
and then Abu Hanifah give her a decree. here's the answer
she said, I don't want to accept an answer from you.
just bring me to someone else, Zur'ah
Zur'ah was a mentor in the mosque, but he was not a pious man
his mother said that she just want to hear a decree from him
finally Abu Hanifah bring his mother to the man
Then Abu Hanifah said,
this is my mother, and she want to ask a decree about an issues to you
Zur'ah said
you're the most religious and know better rather than me.
So just give her a decree. you answer it.
Abu Hanifah said, I've been give her a decree but she refuse it.
Zur'ah said, my decree was same as you.
Zur'ah can not disagree with Abu Hanifah's answer
So, Subhanallah his mother doesn't want to accept it except from Zur'ah
Zur'ah said, what do you think about it O Abu hanifa?
Abu Hanifah said, this is my opinion. Zur'ah said, that's my opinion too
So, some people said
أزهد الناس في العالم أهله
the one who disrespectful that pious man was his family
sometimes the pious man respected by many people
but he was disrespected by his brother, mother, or sister
especially disrespected by his wife
he scolded people outside home
In home, he was scolded by his wife
So Abu Hanifah was very humble
He didn't say, Mom, I am the most pious man, why you ask to the other person?. he is my student anyway
it's not like that.
but he bring his mom to that person and ask him, humbly
even though he was more religious rather than that man
that was how devoted the predecessors to their mother
Similarly, a predecessor named Ali bin Hussein
the grandchild of Ali bin Abi Thalib which known as Zaenal Abidin
he was noted as the one who very dedicated to his parents, his mother
but the weird things was he didn't want to eat plateful with his mother
people was puzzled
they said, you are the most dedicated man, but you refuse to eat plateful with your mother.
He said
أخاف أن آكل معها، فتسبق عينها إلى شيء من الطعام
وأنا لا أعلم به فآكله
فأكون قد عققتها
I was worried if I eat with my mom,
suddenly my mom want to eat something in that plate,
and I took it first while i don't know.
I was worried if I am faithless to my mother.
because of the food which want by my mother,
that's why it's better for me to eat by my selves.
that's incredible
So, some sheikhs said, faithless means
as Allah said
فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ
say not to them [so much as], "uff,"
"uff" is a sentence that shows an annoyance
in Arabic language, the lightest sentence that show an annoyance is a word "uff" "ah"
in our language is "Ah"
So all kinds of showing annoyance to the parents
is a insubordination
it can be an utterance of "ahh" or "uff"
it can be a snap or a sharp glance
Even Zaenal Abidin didn't want to eat a food that his mother like
he was afraid of being disrespectful with his parents
that's why brother, you must be careful
We must not be disobedient to parents
if you were scolded by your mom, you have to keep silent
do not snap or deny
if you want to explain scientifically, no need using a tall voice
don't arrogantly acted smart in front of the parents
another example is in Utsman bin Affan times
the dates was very costly at that time
one date-palm can cost one thousand dirham
Usamah go to his date-palm
then he bring down his date-palm
and he chopped the zumar (the heart of date-palm)
it's not taken unless the tree is turned off
the stem was chopped and taken the zumar
when he take the zumar, it's like the heart of date-palm
then he give it to his mother
because his mother want to eat the heart of date-palm
the people was puzzled at me, they said,
why you ruining your tree
you turn off your date-palm while a dates is very costly
he said, my mom want to eat this, and I can fulfill her wish.
it's an incredible statement
if your mom want something that we capable to do that, just do it
do not wait for our mother want something from us but we're not capable to do it
as long as we can do it, just do it
this is the best pious charity toward mother
better than helping the poor people
better than helping an orphan
Even, it might be better than build the mosque
because dedicated to parents has an incredible reward
that's why he said, this is what I'm capable of. I am afraid if someday I can't do what my mom want it from me
we're gonna experience such a thing.
there comes a time where we can't fulfill what our mom want from us
there comes a time where our mom will not ask to you anymore because she's been dead
That's why, as long as our mom still alive
So, fill up what they want it from you
ladies and gentleman who has been blessed by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
Therefore, someone should trying to find the happiness of their mother
to be successful person in the world and the hereafter
remember one thing, whoever who connect the relationship,
he will get a longevity and more wealth
get more wealth
That's why, Allahu a'lam. an Arabic people in Mecca and Medina
people up there has a long life
we often meet people who are eighty or ninety years old
one of the reason was they might like to connect the relationship
because they always keep their Rahim
connect the relationship
and they're always keep their nomadic tribe
So, we must try to do that too
ladies and gentleman who has blessed by Allah subhanallahu wa taa'la
let's move on, the second prohibition
that is burying the girl alive
the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "وَوَأْدَ اَلْبَنَاتِ (burying the girl alive)"
we have already mentioned it in the Sirah Nabawiyyah lecture
that among the habits of the previous ignorant Arab people
they buried their girls alive
because they did not want to have a girl
girls only bring humiliation for the family
she can't earn a living
just eating at home, so insulted
she can't invited to go to the war
then what's the use of having a daughter?
so if they have a girl they will be angry
وَإِذَا بُشِّرَ أَحَدُهُمْ بِالْأُنْثَىٰ ظَلَّ وَجْهُهُ مُسْوَدًّا وَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ
And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. (An-Nahl:58)
,so they
يَتَوَارَىٰ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ مِنْ سُوءِ مَا بُشِّرَ بِهِ
he hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed (if people know he has a girl) (An-Nahl:59)
,he thinks
أَيُمْسِكُهُ عَلَىٰ هُونٍ أَمْ يَدُسُّهُ فِي التُّرَابِ
Should I keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground right now?
or Should I keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground right now?
being reviled, being reproached by society
this is the habits of the previous ignorant Arab people
therefore, Rasulullah (peace be upon him) forbid that behavior
nonetheless, that make us curious, that we are curious ladies and gentleman
hatred of girls apparently still inherited at this time
for those who dislike for having a daughter
especially, the first child is a girl, the second is a girl, the third is a girl, the forth is a girl, and then the fifth is also a girl
then he is irked
this is included in imitating previous ignorant Arab people
well
many bad consequences due to hatred towards girls
first of all, this attitude is included in the form of protest against Allah's destiny
as though, he protests that Allah has bestowed him a daughter but he denies
he is irked. There are also those who express
and this also shows
an ignorance
because some husband, when his child is a girl he getting mad with his wife
why you always give me a girl?
Aren't you the one who planted a daughter for me? (the wife said)
so his wife is always scolded
his wife is always scolded
and this behavior still happens at this time, until there is an Arab man who always has a daughter so he finally remarried
to be able to have a boy, and then remarried, and his child also a girl
what's wrong is not women (so we cannot blame women)
since
Allah said
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you. (Al-Baqarah:223)
Allah has likened the wife with the place of sowing of seed
you plant the seeds
you who plant the seeds and the yields are girls, why you blame the field?
who is really wrong? men are supposed to be wrong, not women
then a woman who always be scolded. this is a very illogical deed
scold his wife for having a daughter
nowadays is much worst
at this time can already be seen with ultrasonography (USG)
previously he was extremely happy because his wife got pregnant, he loves her very much. He sincerely hopes will get a boy
when it checked by ultrasonography (USG) "the child is a girl!"
Then his attitude immediately changed. His wife was tormented long before giving birth
His wife was tormented long before giving birth, why? because her husband attitude changed
because he already knew if the fetus is a girl
this attitude is forbidden. This is an attitude of ignorance
some scholars, they have daughters. i.e Sheikh Abdurrazzaq (may Allah bless him). His first child is a girl
his second child also a girl
the third child also a girl
is the fourth child a girl or a boy? is a girl!
the fifth child?
also a girl!
imagine that, Seikh Abdurrazzaq has five daughters successively. And he is not a polygamist
Turns out he just got a boy in sixth
the sixth is a boy and the seventh is also a boy if I remember correctly
he remarried afterward for the second time
so it happens sometimes
I also told that there was a man who married a women and has 13 children. All his 13 children are girls
those are gifts from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala (May He be praised and exalted)
whoever
should not refuse those gifts
so
believe in Allah, indeed it's a lot of benefits from having girls
the Prophet (peace be upon him) also said in his hadith, did not he?
مَنْ كَانَ لَهُ ثَلَاثُ بَنَاتٍ
whoever has 3 daughter
فَصَبَرَ عَلَيْهِنَّ
Then he cared for his three daughters patiently
and
وَأَطْعَمَهُنَّ
feed them
وَسَقَاهُنَّ
and give them a drink
وَكَسَاهُنَّ
and give them clothes
كُنَّ لَهُ حِجَابًا مِنَ النَّارِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ
Then all his daughters shall serve as shields from hell on the day of the end
the Prophet (peace be upon him) also said:
مَنِ ابْتُلِيَ مِنْ هَذِهِ البَنَاتِ بِشَيْءٍ
Who was tested by the presence of a daughter.
Some scholars said...
..this is a postulate if the daughter is a test from Allah
She is a gift from Allah, but she is also a test from Allah
since the special attention is needed in taking care of daughters
then
فَاَحْسَنَ إلَيْهِنَّ
He did good to his daughters
كُنَّ لَهُ سِتْرًا مِنَ النَّارِ
Then his daughter shall serve as shields from hell
The sheikh Abdurrazzaq also tell a story about
the story of someone who married his wife
subsequently, his first child is a girl
the second child is a girl, the third child is a girl
the fourth child is a girl, at this time he can be irked to his wife
4 daughters
how about the fifth one? wait,
the man said: take a look, it was fine
watch out if the sixth child is a girl again (the man said)
apparently
قَدَرُاللّهُ (Allah's destiny) This happened a long time ago before ultrasonography (USG) exist
apparently, the sixth child that was born was also a girl
he already gets furious. Then his wife got pregnant the seventh time...
watch out if the seventh child is a girl again (the man said)
He threatened his wife. She was very much fear
his wife was very much fear. She prayed...
O Allah, I wish that my seventh child is a boy
She prayed
قَدَرُاللّهُ
One day the husband fell asleep
when his wife wanted to give birth. He was waiting at the hospital or something then he fell asleep
he fell asleep while waiting for his wife to give birth. He prayed "may it be a boy"
in his sleep, he dreamed
that's doomsday already comes
then he was trialed by Allah and convicted he is going to hell
thus, Angels threw him down to Jahannam hellfire
through the first door
and Jahannam has 7 doors
لَهَا سَبْعَةُ أَبْوَابٍ لِكُلِّ بَابٍ مِنْهُمْ جُزْءٌ مَقْسُومٌ
Allah said, the hell has seven gates
for every gate is of them a portion designated (Al-Hij'r:44)
so he was thrown down to Jahannam through the first door
suddenly his first daughter protect him from hell
سِتْرًا مِنَ النَّارِ
Being a shield from hell
he survived, alhamdulillah. Then he was thrown down again to Jahannam through the second door
his second daughter came and saved him
so that he survived
Then he was thrown down again through the third door
his third daughter saved him
then through the fourth door. his fourth daughter saved him
Then he was thrown down again through the sixth door. The angle was not bored to throw him
when he through the sixth door. I mean fifth.. his fifth daughter saved him.
he through the sixth door, his sixth daughter saved him, and now the seventh door
he has not had a seventh daughter
when he wanted to be thrown, no one can be saved him
when suddenly he entered the Jahannam, he woke up
he said "O Allah, may my seventh child is also a girl"
then he went back. apparently, his seventh child is a boy
oh no
he said
the story about that sheikh which heard firsthand from a trusted person
so, brothers. we have a boy or a daughter that is sustenance from Allah
if we have
daughter, don't scold our wife. that is a stupid behavior
that's stupid. you are supposed to be wrong but you blame the others
you plant the seed but you blame the field
that's wrong, and also it is included in the form of protest against Allah's grace
and also it is included in the form of imitating the ignorant people
some of the interpreters, such as...
Al-Imam Al-Qurtubi has mentioned a poem
about a woman who Complaining about her husband
her husband is Abu hamzah
so this woman, her husband has some wives
but this woman has children, all of them are girls
so he said
مالي ابي همزة لا يأتينا
why my husband (Abu Hamzah) doesn't want to come to me
يضل في البيت الذ يدين
he always just along with his other wives
why he doesn't want to come to my house
why always just along with his other wives
غضبان أن لا نلد البنينا
he mad at me because I can't give him a boy
تالله ما ذالك في أيدين
I swear to Allah, this is beyond our control
whether it will be a boy or a girl is none of my business
فنحن كالأرض لزراعينا
we are like the earth. the place for those who want to sow seeds in me
ينبت ما قد زرعوه فينا
we just make grow what they have planted in us
well Is there still time?
it's done, isn't it?
enough, let's finish our study now because there are still many gifts, and also many questions. we will continue again on another occasion insha Allah
are these all gifts?
ok, whoever can answer this first question
who can mention a hadith about the eminence of keeping good relations?
is there anyone who can mention it?
yes please, stand up
Whoever desires an expansion in his sustenance and age, should keep good relations with his Kith and kin.
Maa shallah, you can have it
here, this is a gift
You get 2 prizes at a time
what is
the bad consequences of hating girls?
please mention 3 consequences of hating girls
yes please, stand up!
first is...
first is bahlul (stupid)
first is against the grace of Allah, and the second?
the second is
imitating the ignorant people
the third is...
bahlul (stupid)
the third is stupid because he protests what...
...what he has planted by himself
you can have it
just a moment, this gift is not from me, but it from someone
may Allah reward him goodness
well
who can mention
the stages of keeping good relations
the are 3 stages... yes please, stand up!
please stand up!
first is... keeping good relations
to someone who disconnects
the first is keeping good relations to someone who disconnects
the second?
the second is continuing relationship to those who keep good relations,
and not continuing it to those who disconnect that relations with us
the second is continuing to those who connect and not continuing to those who disconnect
isn't it? ok that's right
the third is continuing... the third are those who are not continuing the good relations
the third is disconnecting the good relations
mashallah
how old are you?
I am fifteen
you aren't married yet, are you?
not yet
I just want to ask
well
next question
who can mention 2 stories about the previous people who dedicated to their parents
ok, you can answer
first is...
please stand up!
Abu Hanifah, Abu Hanifah... why?
he is a brilliant scholar, but he wants to... um..
accompany his mother to...
...um. To someone to relay a fatwa
and he accompanied his mother. The second is...
Usamah
why?
he has dates
he has dates and he put a hole in only because he wanted to give it to his mother
therefore he put a hole in?
to feeding his mom
he took the heart of the dates
mashallah, jazaakallahu khair
the last is as usual. Who is the oldest here?
I am the oldest
remember... who has the whitest beard is not necessarily the oldest
how old are you sir?
is there anyone who is older than 73?
how old are you?
76, is there anyone who is older?
can anyone break a record? 76
anyone?
please sir mashallah
please, sir, you can have it
I met somebody, my kindred
we still have relatives
mashallah he was over 70 but he did look like 60
I asked him, uncle...
... how old are you? I am over 70 (he said)
why you look younger?
he said the secret is...
ustadh
I have ever go to my mother and I said...
Mom... What do you want?...
what do you aspire to?
my mom said she wants to go to hajj
so finally I was making money so that my mother can go to hajj
I didn't go to hajj, the most important was my mother can go to hajj
I think that was what makes my age was extended
we might do this thing
I have also met somebody in Australia
he was 83
I also asked him. why you live so long?
mashallah, he was 83
his ears are still normal, he can hear clearly, he is not senile
I was talking to him what is your secret?
he said, ustadh..there is only one secret: don't eat too much
if so, that is difficult for me
the reason in the first story is better
in the second story is difficult
I have a relative, I know him mashallah. He invited his family
including my mother from irian, he gave her round-trip ticket
he spent billions of money on gathering his relatives
so, subhanallah, alhamdulillah he passed away
he was around 80, 81 or 82
he passed away, he was very beneficent
his sustenance was made easier because he always kept good relations
well, now we will answer some questions
related to keeping relations, because of local elections...
many of relations that disconnected
even between family or relatives
the relations between friends also disconnected. Please give me an advice
how to continuing good relations and build unity and peace
brothers, the local election was over, why you still continuing it?
so
everyone want the best for our country
everyone want the best for Jakarta
different perspective, advise each other
and it's over, so why should it continue?
it was over
why we still continuing a matter that was over?
so please be rational
there was a lot of people who disconnect the relationship because of trivial matter
for example, you cuts off the relationship because of political elections
why you do that?
because of soccer ball, you cuts off the relationship.
why you do that?
it's not cool
because of that matter
before I know the Sunnah
I was collecting a picture and a painting of a living thing
can I sell that stuff?
or should I give it to Non-Moslem people?
the answer is you can't sell it, but you should burn it
Allah said
وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ
don't you help each other in sins and enmity
Can we express a hardships with a phrase "half-dead"?
for example; our mother has painstakingly pregnant
she was dead tired
half-dead is our term
half-dead doesn't means they're going to die, but
it means it's really difficult
it's only our term
the terms can be returned to our language
it doesn't means they're going to die,
it means painstakingly
I think it doesn't matter
sorry for out of the theme, I wanna ask a question
I want to do Sunnah (bath together with my wife)
but she refuse it
for reason, there was a hadith which tell about a prohibition of bath for long inside the bathroom
the answer is, you can do that a half in bathroom and in bedroom
or you can say to your wife, dear, let's take a quick bath then
Wallahu a'lam. Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam bath together with his wife
bath together and even joke around
AIsyah Radiyallahu anha said,
كُنْتُ أَغْتَسِلُ أَنَا وَالنَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مِنْ إِنَاءٍ وَاحِدٍ كَلانَا جُنُبٌ
فَيُبَادِرُنِي حَتَّى أَقُولُ: دَعْ لِي، دَعْ لِي
Aisyah Radiyallahu anha said,
I took a shower with Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam
bath together and junub
this hadith, some history mentioned that there was someone who ask a question to Aisyah
O Aisyah, is it allowed for husband to see the genital of his wife?
Aisyah answer with this hadith
So that, Ibnu Hajar assuming that it is allowed to bath together with husband
in condition no clothes on at all
Aisyah said, I took a shower with Rasulullah in Junub condition
and we were racing to each other to take water
and Rasulullah take the water before me,
until I say to Rasulullah, save me some water
So Rasulullah and Aisyah was joke around when they bath together
they're not bathing and keep silent each other
How if I never contacted to my aunt or uncle
I had no issues with them
does that include to the one who cuts off the relationship?
yes it does,
you never get contact to your aunt or uncle
cutting off the relationship doesn't have to fight each other
connecting the relationship means doing a good deed to relatives
doing good with wealth or
or with good word or anything
if you never get contact with your relative, it means your cuts off the relationship
especially in this day the communication is easy
you contact them by phone it count as connecting the relationship
if you can't visit them, you can call them by phone
if you're afraid of run out the pulses, just message them or by whatsapp
Alhamdullillah, nowadays the communication is easy
is it that hard to call your aunt or uncle?
another question,
my parents want me and my family to stay with them
I was confused, I am afraid if I fight with my wife, they will hear it
and make my mother sad
some ustadz suggest to separate house between my parents and my family
please, give me advice
I recommend you to accept her wish
we can hold back if we have fight with wife, don't let your parents hear it
you should find the way to do that
you can lock the bedroom door if you have a quarrel
or if your mother is in upstairs ,we can go downstairs
if the reason is because you afraid your mother will feel sad, then you're not stay with them
if you didn't stay with them. she might feel sad too because you didn't stay with them
So, you can stay with them
and try to hold back
don't show our quarrel in front of them
Allah said, the chance of staying with our parents
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ
أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا
Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you,
there is a motivation for us to stay with our parents
we should make effort to stay with our parents
he has bring the door of heaven in his house
so, the prize is incredible
imagine if we can dedicate to parents everyday in our house
give a greeting to them
kiss them, meet your parents when you go home, eat with them
the prizes is continued to flow
that's why if you stay with your parents, the prize is incredible
don't ask your brother or sister to take care of them
you are the one who should take care of your parents
I ever tell a story about
did I ever tell you this story?
it's about someone who get married
her husband were asked to get married with someone who imperfection
did I ever tell you this story?
in the end, his sons was fighting over to dedicate to their stepmother
although it was their stepmother
especially their birth mother
So, we should try to stay with our parents
except in emergency condition, that's another story
another question,
my wife was afraid of having another kid
because her first and second son was a girl
So, my wife was afraid if her third son was a girl too
what should I tell to her?
why you're afraid of having a daughter?
if you have three daughter, they will keeping us out of the hell of Jahannam
Even, seven daughter is fine
it's fine
Rizqi has been underwritten by Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala
you can give advice to your wife
Your wife is probably afraid of getting scolded by you
she might say, why it's a daughter again? she's afraid of getting scolded by you, then she think "it's better not to having another kid"
you should show to her that it's fine to have another kid either male or female
In shaa allah she will understand it
another question, is it a sins if we're not wear helmets?
wait a sec
is it a sins if we're not wear helmets when we drive in motorcycle because the distance is close
it's violating the government regulations
Allah ordered us to obey with the government
أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنْكُمْ
Allah said, obey me, and rasulullah, and the government
your caretaker of affairs
ulill amri in language means your caretaker of affairs
we all know that the caretaker of affairs is the government
for example
a small group that has small contribution is not ulill amri
they're not taking care of our business
for example, jamaah islamiyah that has their own leader
it's not ulil amri
do they taking care of our business?
if anyone attacks us, who's the one who taking care of that ?
do they have a soldier to protect us?
if we're attacked
or if we had an issues
They don't take care of our business
it's the government who taking care of the muslimin people
Allah ordered us to obey the government
as long as they ordered good things
Allah said, "obey me"
أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنْكُمْ
sheikh Utsaimin rahimahullah said
obeying ulil amri is on some things which doesn't have the argumentation
and doesn't contradict with the law of Islam
if there is an argumentation from the theologian, you don't need to follow the government
if we're doing a prayer, we shouldn't wait for the government to ask us to prayer
if we're fasting, we shouldn't wait for the government to ask us to fasting
because Allah has ordered us directly to do that
but if the government ordered us to do something which beneficial for us, we should obey them
for example
Get a marriage certificate
is there a rule ? do we asked to marry on a marriage certificate or not?
is there any benefit?
it's beneficial of course
if it's not beneficial, people can fornicate and confess that they've been married. "where's the marriage certificate?"
they said in the prophet's time, there was no marriage certificate
it's different condition
same as the government make a traffic lights,
there must be a benefit
So that, we must obey them if it's useful for us
and another rule
if it's useful, we must obey it
if it's no use and contradict with the law of Islam, we shouldn't obey them
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق
no obedience to human being in order to do Maksiat to Allah subhanallahu ta'ala
ladies and gentlemen, this all our review today
I haven't been able to answer any questions because time constraints
May Allah forgive our sins, in shaa allah we meet again next week
in Shiroh an Nabawiyah review
سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ وَبِحَمْدِكَ، أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ، أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْكَ
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ