Kind: captions
Language: en
"Pardon me, my question is not related
to the theme."
"First, can a wife refuse
her husband's request...
...without a valid reason?
So, a husband asks to have intercourse,
but is refused...
...without a valid reason.
That is not allowed.
The Prophet said...
إذا دعا الرجل امأته الى فراشه
فأبت غضبان عليها
لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح
In another narration
الا كان الذي في السمء صاخطا عليها
The ﷺ said, "If a husband invites his wife
to have intercourse...
"And his wife did not want to do it."
"And her husband goes to sleep upset."
"Than angels will curse her
until morning comes."
Among matters and obedience
applied to a wife...
...is to obey her husband when he
invites her to have intercourse.
If she has valid reasons,
it does not matter.
She may be ill or really tired.
But if there is no valid excuses,
just because she doesn't want to...
Then she shall create the desire,
tell it to her husband.
"Seduce me to be aroused."
Find a way.
But she cannot refuse
without a valid reason.
That is a big sin and angels curse it.
Hence, the Prophet underlines this matter.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
و إن كانت على التنور
"Even though she is making bread
in the kitchen...
...if her husband invites her to,
she'll have to respond."
Although the bread will be burnt,
it does not matter.
The scholars said,
"Even if the bread will be burnt."
This is what the scholars have said.
It doesn't matter.
و إن كانت على قتب
"Even if the wife is on the camel
about to go...
...suddenly her husband has the desire...
... she'll have to get down
and have intercourse with her husband."
For example, a woman
about to go to market...
and has ordred GoJek or Grab
(online transportation apps)...
Or others.
Her husband changes his mind.
"Honey, could you come over here?"
"Tell the driver to go,
pay him."
The important is responding
to his desire.
Moreover today, ladies,
may Allah SWT bless you.
Now, we can find desire everywhere.
During the time of the Prophet,
he said...
When a man get tempted by another woman,
go back to his wife.
That was the time of the Prophet, where
women wore hijab, only one or two didn't.
And, a women was seen, and he was aroused,
he should go back to his wife.
Or maybe he saw a woman with hijab,
and still tempted.
The Prophet told them to go home,
and fulfill his desire to his wife.
Now?
Everything is seen everywhere.
Everywhere.
Even when we're going to preach,
we see many things.
And even worse abroad.
I preached many times abroad.
In Amsterdam? We "have to" commit sins
and then go preaching.
In the plane, we see already
different kinds.
Landing in Amsterdam, we see many types
of European women.
Even though I took my wife with me.
We're preaching,
we commit sins first.
Seriously.
In Melbourn, Sydney, all the same.
You want to preach, you "have to"
commit sins first; but what can we do?
That is why I have to take a wife with me.
Otherwise...
I am saying a wife.
While I have only one.
So...
Today, where everything is unclear...
...when your husband has
the desire, respond to him.
She does not need to have the desire to.
She knows that this is her duty.
She knows that she'll receive rewards.
She'll receive reward from Allah SWT
because the Prophet emphasizes on this.
It has to be done.
If she has not yet the desire,
she'll make it happen...
...to serve her husband.
Because desires cannot be held.
If a husband is hungry, he may hold it.
But the desire for an intercourse?
If his wife is not willing to,
that'd be troublesome.
Where does he have to go.
While he has only one wife.
Therefore...
نساؤكم حرث لكم فأتوا خجثكم لأنى شئتم
Allah said...
Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you,
so come to your place of cultivation however you wish.
Ibnu Abbas said,
Anytime.
Daytime, morning
Whenever.
And a man's desire can come anytime
without him realizing it.
Sometimes at one in the morning.
tiba-tiba ada syahwat.
Sometimes at 2.30 p.m.
Sometimes during subh prayer call.
Sometimes during ashr prayer call.
We don't know when a man's desire come up.
A man may turn on his mobile,
a woman come up in an ads.
I open many times an apps
for prayer time.
I already paid for it.
It is not a free apps.
It is an apps from I-phone.
I opened it, and a woman dancing in an ads.
I wanted only to know the times for prayers.
God ! But what can we do?
Thank God, I have a wife.
So, poor men whose desire
is not fulfilled by their wives.
There has to be a collaboration
between husband and wife.
A husband shall not just release his desire
without paying attention to his wife's feeling.
Seduce her first.
Make her aroused.
If you just release your desire,
and leave her, that is not correct either.
You have to help each other
in this matter.
Between a husband and a wife.
So, my advice is that a wife shall strive
to serve her husband.
Unless she is ill, tired.
That is another story.