Kind: captions
Language: en
okay everybody welcome to another
episode of after impact I am your host
tom bill you and I'm here with none
other than Agent Smith mr. bill you what
is up dude hi John I'm doing well man
thank good how about you I'm good it's
no harder you're not going to tell
people about your mucinex well I'm good
now because I just got I'm over here
hopping I woke up this morning I think
I'm over the cold okay so no more
mucinex for you today no I didn't take
it yes I do either but I still had a
lingering cough okay I'm really been
coughing so I'm feeling good nice all
right it's been two spent about a week
sick well done well tell us a little bit
about what it's like to be on vacation
and to get sick literally on the flight
like you could yes coming on um yeah so
taking a red-eye which is already
horrible trying to sleep and was I could
just feel it coming on so we went on and
then once we landed in New York at 7:30
a.m. or whatever I was like II am sick
this is happening so went to the hotel
tried to sleep it off a little bit and
then you know there was a lot of we were
going for a wedding so I had to see a
bunch of people also wanted to meet with
family and stuff that was there so just
powered through I just took some
medicine and just powered through and I
tried to make the best of it you know
because you're in New York what are you
yeah and I still had a good time all
right all things considered had a good
time okay yeah we'll count that as a win
then yeah I'll go back and put soon it's
a month yeah New York is amazing yeah
but not as amazing as Laila Ali that I
get true that way to bring it back yeah
and subtle Laila Ali is amazing
for those of you who haven't watched the
episode or don't know who she is she's
the daughter of Muhammad Ali the you
know world famous boxer she in her own
right is a world champion world famous
boxer 24 wins 24 and Oh undefeated yes
21 knockouts of the of those wins which
is pretty impressive very not only that
but she has gone on to have so much
success in her career she's been a TV
host for various shows she was on
Dancing with the Stars came in third
she's an author she's a speaker and
she's just doing a lot of different
things but all of that success
was it wasn't guaranteed as she started
out as a very rebellious teenager had a
lot of trouble in her family life at
school with her friends got thrown into
juvie for a while and then sort of
turned her own her turned her life
around but even before she was a boxer
she owned her own nail salon at the age
of 18 which is very impressive very
impressive so there's a lot to dig in
here if you haven't seen the episode you
got to check it out or listen to it on
the podcast which you can find iTunes
stitcher or whatever you prefer but this
is a fun one
definitely to go into the Champions
mindset and to learn about someone you
know who not only has built an amazing
career but did it sort of in spite of
having these obstacles and I think one
of the obstacles if we could start there
as having famous parents or having
alliums parents yeah yeah so what do you
think about that honestly until I read
her book I don't think I had great
insight into how difficult that could be
and you really have to separate out her
as a boxer from growing up with famous
parents and the reason that I say that
is she didn't even know female boxing
existed right until she was 18 I think
so it's not like oh she grew up too you
know the daughter of the famous boxer
and it was just sort of everybody
assumed you're going to become a fighter
like sparring at the age of four yeah
there wasn't any of them none of it
nothing so first of all she didn't
really grow up with her dad so her
parents divorced and she was like
haven't heard something like that
and already had a tumultuous
relationship with both her parents much
more so with her dad was very much sort
of a mama's girl and then when her
parents divorced her mom got into an
emotionally abusive relationship which
then caused her to withdrawn
mom basically posted her and her sister
up in the guesthouse because the new guy
that she had gotten with really was
trying to isolate her from the kids and
so in her own words she raised herself
had no intention of becoming a boxer had
no intention of following in either of
her parents footsteps and was rebelling
hardcore the reason she wanted the nail
salon was to really she tried to get
emancipated she asked her mom to
emancipate her wanted to be her own
person didn't want to take money
nothing just really
one of the car of her own existence and
then one night happened to be at a
friend's house when her the friend's dad
put on a Mike Tyson fight and one of the
opening fights was female boxing and she
said in an instant because she had been
street fighting yeah not like you know
not like Kimbo Slice but you know street
fighting like somebody gets in your face
and you it goes to fisticuffs so she
would you know Throwdown was pretty
tough chick and so when she saw that she
thought whoa all this anger that I have
pent up inside me like that this could
be a great outlet so that's sort of why
you have to separate those two things
you can't really think of it is what she
ends up doing is in any way shape or
form really being related to the fact
that she had a famous father was a boxer
so she hated Fame in the beginning and
really felt like it was fake and her
portrayal of like growing up in Beverly
Hills is like it's so crazy because it
is the cliche of like all these hanger
honor yeah people that just want to be
near her dad so people are being nice to
her because were her dad is and just
like the she really seemed to have an
early sensitivity to to that and to the
like sick of pants and really tried to
escape that to its says she says in the
episodes she says I would go into the
hood to learn how to do nails like I
wanted to get out of there I wanted to
go be around different people which is
which is fascinating to me too yeah very
so yeah didn't I think more and more
especially now with the level of success
that I've had hearing other people like
the Jim Carrey quote I think gets at all
I wish everybody could be rich and
famous so you could see that money and
fame don't solve anything yeah so it's
like it's so true like they're very
powerful things but if you're not using
them for something very specific or
you're not a good judge of character or
if it came too early in your life you
know for me like the really nice thing
about having money now is I didn't come
from money so and having to fight and
really like transform Who I am to be
able to have that kind of success it's
like you a you have a totally different
perspective on it and be you like you I
still to this day identify way
more with sort of that edge between
white and blue collar takoma than I do
with Beverly Hills yeah very interesting
I want to remind everyone or actually
welcome everyone from Facebook live we
are recording this live for you to get
involved in the conversation of after
impact which is the show where Tom and I
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as you can one deck please 10:00 a.m.
Pacific time usually on Wednesday today
we're doing it on Thursdays because we
had a big day yesterday we did we did
and hopefully you guys are following me
on instagram you would have gotten
behind-the-scenes look at who we were
filming I'm sure there's someone in the
comments that I'll drop it in for us we
got some of those deep core impact of
this that are especially impact subs in
here they know what's up yeah it's a big
one let you guys be the reveal but yeah
that was a lot of fun and we had
back-to-back monsters like in the house
so Tuesday was madness around here so
first of all because of our partnership
with Vayner talent we had just a army of
people here on Tuesday being followed by
Bloomberg who want to see what Vayner
talents all about what we're up to the
house is just jam-packed and then and
then that goes into the secret project
that I'm working on but I really hope
we're going to be able to pull off by
the summer that would be amazing and if
dr. finesse we're here I'd be staring at
him right now we've got a secret project
under way that really really while it's
a slow burn it's a long play for people
in our ecosystem it would be these
really punctuated amazing things which
is part of a much bigger plan for me but
that I'm super super jazzed about and
then Wednesday was was awesome and so
we've just had the house has been
chock-full of people it's been so so
cool to have that kind of energy and
everything here it's been really really
neat so yes some fun things cooking
a lot of energy speaking of energy we
got shout outs in the comments what's up
it's our Azim from sweden how you doing
sweet jihad been mouse' i'm gonna we got
thats exactly how its run just like from
morocco wow LaRocco
alright anna Maina from berlin you know
Ana and Samina from India also going
global today we are going global today
and you know that each and every one of
those names I want to spend like three
or four minutes just freaking out about
how cool they're I'm trying to temper
that [ __ ] so it doesn't get too
ridiculous yes I don't know what my
fascination is with such unique names
ain't growing up in Tacoma
everybody was named like Steve yeah
Brian yep so like now the whole world
yeah like in black theory is Mitchell
worldwide right it's all good
alright let's um let's keep talking
about Leila's upbringing so one of the
things I found really interesting in her
story was that she said she wasn't you
know she wanted to get emancipated she
wanted to go on and do big things is
around age 16 17 and she specifically
says I wasn't going to wait for anyone
to give me permission or to give me the
support I needed so she wasn't waiting
for her mom to driver somewhere he just
jumped on the the the bus to be a city
bus and took it the Crosstown all the
way to the other side of town to go to
her nail school and learn that so just I
just wanted to get yourself on on that
kind of mindset that she had early on
well so it goes to like some people are
moving towards something some people are
moving away from something and I think
probably until she found boxing she was
moving away from something she was
moving away from the home life that she
didn't like she was moving away from the
abusive dynamic of her mom and her
boyfriend she was moving away from being
told what to do by other people and
that's why I think there was such a big
shift for her when she found boxing
because it was the first time she was
moving towards something she was going
to work to become you know a boxer like
even the nail thing and I'm guessing she
hasn't continued to pursue it that that
wasn't like a passion she just it was
something she was interested in she
thought she could monetize it so she
you know was leveraging that to get away
from the other things and understanding
that there are times where you can
leverage moving towards there's also
times that you can leverage moving away
and yesterday's guess and I'm so pissed
that I didn't follow up and he went on
to something else that was equally
interesting but when yesterday's guest
mentioned I'm not sure why he being
videoed about it recited stone alright
so don't we finally had Gary be on the
show Gary Vaynerchuk was awesome it was
that interview is unlike anything he's
ever done
even he like in the middle of the
episode like multiple times is like hey
this is interesting so the he talks
about the darkness and so he's like a
[ __ ] hate Michael Jordan like all of
it like nothing but hatred for the poor
man and but he said but he is motivated
by the darkness and so that was
something that I think Gary tucked into
that is something very much lavallee
tapped into in a big way that darkness
inside you that anger that frustration
and being able to channel it in a
productive way you see incredible things
happen and in no uncertain terms she was
able to channel it incredibly powerfully
and you see that in her boxing career
but watching her like set aside what
happens she gets in trouble with
juvenile hall and all that but I mean
she found herself pretty early like a
teen is pretty early to really get your
[ __ ] together
and so while when you're reading her
book you sort of go through real-time
seems like she struggles for a very very
very long time but in truth like really
gets to get gets it together by a teen
learns how to channel that anger learns
how to channel her frustration in making
herself physically strong but seeing
that mental toughness develop is really
really incredible and it it begs a
question of nature versus nurture so I
did not consider myself mentally tough
when I was a kid and I think that was my
nature like by nature I don't think I'm
very mentally tough and the reason that
I am so I'm such like a convert to that
things can be developed through nurture
that you can learn this stuff is because
I did it like I transformed myself and
seeing her I think she had an early win
with mental toughness and but what she
parlayed that into and then how she had
to
leverage like because anyone's going to
say well part of the reason she was good
at boxing his nature and I think that's
fair enough but the reason she became a
champion is because of nurture it was
the willingness to work and put it in
and change a transform and learn and
grow and get better so it's very very
interesting it's interesting that you
draw parallels to her Gary Michael
Jordan because she like Michael Jordan
had an amazing moment in her career
where she had the flu and she was
inviting and talked about that a little
bit so what what's really important to
me about that story is she didn't tell
anyone and not for years and years and
years after the fact in fact I think it
was I think God the first time she
mentioned it might have been in the book
so she has the flu she's like a really
really famous fight that it was the
Frazier fight yeah so she lucky Frazier
yes she's fighting Jackie Frazier which
one of Muhammad Ali's biggest fights was
against her father Joe Frazier Joe
Frazier yeah Joe Frazier and so this is
like a huge fight for her she feels like
she has something obviously to prove in
this fight and she goes in and she said
I've been really sort of dismissive of
Jackie and anything she was taking
boxing seriously I get into the ring
with her and I realized holy hell like
this woman's actually really tough and
Layla refused to sit down between rounds
because she was so sick that she was
like if I sit down I won't get back up
though she was right the icing stays
standing ends up winning the fight
decisive victory doesn't knock her out
which she later says is one of the
biggest regrets of her life so she
didn't do a rematch so that she could
actually knock her out but that's a
whole nother thing but that like the
fact that she didn't tell anyone was
because she didn't want to make excuses
she didn't want to say aw didn't knock
her I had the flu right she just let it
be it is what it is I didn't put her
down that's like I'm not till wins the
match which is amazing it gives you a
window into her mindset is like that
upsets her that she didn't knock her out
right she won the match she didn't knock
her out what's happening so if we could
make that stop chase that would be
amazing thank you
one of the downsides of continuing the
podcast during the remodel is sometimes
people don't realize they can't remodel
it's true I'm 10 to 11 it's true so
should every on-air sign when you watch
just me and you log into the like yeah
for no reason but also for that would be
useful all right we have an awesome
question from our Facebook live audience
from our dear friend and impactive Asst
Mike Burkhart nice very active Mike he
says do you need darkness do you need
anger can you accomplish the same goals
without it this is a good question um
I'll say no I I'll say you can't
accomplish the same thing without it so
ant accomplished a nodding but then you
need it yeah I think you do need it okay
so I think that there are going to be
times where the beauty fails you and
it's just not enough and there are so
many things in your life that will be
beautiful like laying in bed in the
morning is beautiful it feels amazing
like chemical your body is hasn't
flushed the the neural chemistry out so
you don't want to get out of bed it's
very warm at least for me I'm laying
next to like the center of my universe
my beautiful wife like it's amazing and
it's in moments like that where I have
to click over to the people who want me
to fail the people who have doubted me
like all of the like dark things inside
of me to get me out of bed and get me
going and otherwise like I just I really
believe there are times where the beauty
is going to fail you in it so the
motivators and a hundred percent like
there's no other reasons the darkness
will do nothing for you other than in my
opinion give you energy when you're
really suffering because when you're
really suffering like they've just done
Studies on this is like and the study
goes exactly this because I even I'm
trying to do less is that there are
studies but not say what they are
they [ __ ] make you stick your hand in
a bucket of ice and at first whatever
but then it really starts to [ __ ]
hurt yeah and what they found is people
can go like something like three times
as long it's ridicu it's not three times
but it's a lot more if you let them
swear and get angry huh so when like you
bring that it
this is how I think people have to look
at themselves we have gotten to this
point through evolution so all the
emotions that you have the fact that we
send signals through the amygdala to
process emotions the fact that it goes
to the deep limbic system to ask is this
good or bad the fact that pain and
suffering or separate like there are
reasons that this stuff is structured
like this anger is not an accident it is
not a throw away it has a purpose and
that purpose is dude if if someone is
the perfect example for me if you are
going after my wife
I will [ __ ] ruin you okay I will ruin
you and that's not me like I'm not I
like ruin you kind of guy like I like to
look at the beautiful thing I want to
help people and I it doesn't even
trigger that if you're coming after me I
can't click over into the same anger
like it's too I just get it I get why
people do that I like I feel bad for
them but if you go after my wife like
I'll click over into that zone and so
from make sure my I don't have kids but
make sure my kids are okay make sure my
wife is okay from an evolutionary
perspective to protect what's yours to
actually become enraged if someone's
trying to attack them and then that the
result of that would be that you're
tougher you don't feel as much pain it
just makes sense and can we do rail for
a second yeah it's zero do you know what
rabies actually does - you know this is
crazy so people guess that the mythology
of zombies is entirely rabies and that
what that is is you know rabies would
sweep through an area so rabies gets in
your brain it takes control of a couple
things it makes you hyper aggressive it
makes you totally dead to pain and it
makes you want to bite sound like
anything okay okay right exactly like
zombie now why does it make you want to
bite because that's how it's going to
pass them the other person need to get
the saliva into the bloodstream so
you've got to break the skin to get to
the blood yeah okay so biting pretty
damn good way to do it if you were just
scratching you're not necessarily going
to transfer the virus or bacteria I'm
actually not sure if it's a fire Specter
I think it's a virus virus so it's got
to make you aggressive so that you're
going after has to make you want to bite
so that you do that and then it has to
deaden you to pain because obviously if
the person is trying to hammer you back
that
you know right you can have this up like
it's got a key persisting so when you
see those things like for humans to pass
on their genes you need something that
in the moment allows you to click over
and just have more endurance more
tenacity more whatever and that is why I
mean you know my current obsession with
dog in like the food that guys ability
to harness anger and rage and the
darkness is perhaps unparalleled in
today's world I have not heard of
anybody in all of my travels that is
able to do what he's able to do with the
darkness so to bring it back to layali
like or to Mike's question I think if
you take someone who has beauty right
but no ability to click over to anger to
rage and to leverage that they will lose
every time to the person who has beauty
and rage I'm just a big believer it's an
80/20 split and there is something how
do it let's say you don't that you don't
identify with that you're all positivity
all beauty how do you get the darkness
don't what do you look for nothing why
would you want it so what happens is
you're making a fundamental assumption
that it is better to achieve and be
ambitious than to not the question was
can you achieve as much without it no
you need to what if you want to you just
feel like you don't have that in you I
think that's probably good I think you
may have dodged a bullet I guess I don't
have a strong stance on that I've never
thought about going to get the darkness
God just right now right here because I
don't pass moral judgment on whether
somebody should be ambitious or not I
think it takes all kinds like if your
life is 100 percent full of beauty so
[ __ ] amazing
wait but are you saying that you can't
be ambitious if you don't have the
darkness no I'm saying you won't a
compliment accomplished is somebody who
has the ambition has the beauty and has
the right amount of Darkness because if
you have too much darkness it will
consume you
Darth Vader yeah so and here's even that
is probably
now that's real there are people that
are that dark and accomplished a lot but
I really really believe that the
darkness ultimately is corrosive that it
takes in a way that beauty doesn't take
like I think that if you like when I
think about how prolonged I can pursue
beauty it's really long and I can get
other people excited like it's how often
you're really [ __ ] honest so you'll
actually answer this honestly and maybe
give me an insight how often do i
leverage with the team how often do i
try to rally people around rage and
anger very seldomly right like super
rare certainly how it feels to me but
often times I'm trying to rally people
around this is what we're trying to do
this is what we're trying to build it
would be [ __ ] amazing we're
incredible we do notice them right so
the balance to me is super critical
you've got to spend a vast majority 80%
of your time on the beautiful stuff no
more than 20% because like when you're
over here like I started to get a
headache I start to like really fry out
like if you're spending too much time
and that it's it's maybe higher in terms
of peak exertion but well what it takes
is pretty extreme yeah
well that was that was fun no I was a
good segment around there um alright
let's let's jump to another question
here and let me just remind everyone
since we're about 25 minutes and welcome
if you're just joining us to Facebook
live this is after impact the show where
Tom and I talk about impact Theory the
show we go deep yes what we do indeed we
do and today we're talking about Laila
Ali who isn't one who's incredible here
she's she's really just impressive and
also I would not want to tangle with her
nobody wheels you can see it in her eyes
yeah first of all she's 510 so she is
not like super petite woman and then
secondly and she is a trained boxer I
watched some of her I was watching a
highlight reel and she is just she just
molds people understanding yeah it's
crazy she is not for play all right I
have a question for you so Laila has
said that so you actually commented on
this and she's both a confident person
but also very open
and that this can be a model so how do
you think that people can achieve the
balance of sort of vulnerability and
confidence I actually think the
willingness to be vulnerable comes from
confidence so if somebody wanted to be
vulnerable I would say first get really
[ __ ] confident yeah confidence comes
from competence so get good at something
so like a Laila Ali has talked about
this I'm not good at everything but when
it came to boxing you just weren't going
to beat me and I love I think her
ability to admit that she's not good at
like a lot of things comes from that
place of strength of knowing like I
really did get good at this I really
gave it my all I did something and when
you know like it it gets really easy to
be vulnerable when you know if this
person uses this against me it's not
going to hurt me because I'm at peace
with that hmm
I'm at peace with the things that I'm
not good at so if you try to throw it
back at me I'm not building my
self-esteem around it first of all you
know what I mean so it's like if you
wear people get themselves in trouble is
when they're hyper selectively
vulnerable with somebody because there
is some part of you that wants to
confess like I'm not good at that and
you do it with somebody you think you
can trust but you are so raw about it
that you know that person can hurt you
if they throw it back at you and then
they do that's the one that really [ __ ]
with people and so can that happen I
mean you will manage so many people of
course so the the most beautiful thing
to actually think I've talked about this
in the episode but this like long before
the episode one of the most beautiful
things I think a human being can do to
really experience life is to have been
vulnerable with somebody to really share
with them to be hurt by that and be
willing to do it again like knowing I'm
probably going to be hurt by this but to
to never open yourself up to somebody is
is to miss the real beauty of human
connection because the I think the
fantasy human connection is where you
are 100% known and seen for the things
you're good at the things you're bad at
and everything in between and to be
accepted and loved right now there's
nothing more intoxicating than that that
for me is the purpose of marriage and if
your marriage isn't giving you that I
honestly don't understand why you're
doing it because marriage comes all
kinds of sacrifices so it's like if you
get that there there's nothing else like
there's nothing greater than that so
whatever you're hoping to get from life
that's the highest thing to have
somebody in your life doesn't have to be
a romantic attachment but they have
somebody in your life that gives you
that they know you they see they know
exactly who you are the good the bad
everything in between right and they
love you man they just love you and they
accept you for who you are it's [ __ ]
beautiful it's amazing and so the
easiest way to get to that is to have
the confidence in who you are to build
your self-esteem around something that's
fancy fragile so that even if somebody's
like hey you're bad at this you're like
yeah no I totally get that I want to
learn I want to grow I want to get
better but I'm not building my
self-esteem around being good at that
like for instance if Laila Ali is
building her self-esteem around being
good at boxing she's [ __ ] because 20
years from now she's not possible she's
always going to have to harken back to I
was good at boxing right right so to
build yourself a seam around something
like that which has to do with say
physical prowess is just it's a
dangerous game so to find something that
really is anti fragile to be able to
open yourself up to know that some
people inevitably are going to throw it
back at you and that it's just a good
reminder to build your self-esteem
around something that is anti fragile
yeah and she actually I think her
understanding of that is from her sense
that nobody is perfect and she talks
about this pretty eloquently in the
episode where she says that even the
people who are extraordinary at certain
things like her father who was an
extraordinary boxer or other people who
are capable of great things are far from
perfect and they may be good in that
realm but there have many flaws in other
areas and that's sort of very comforting
it seems like for her that that
understanding of people yeah I mean it's
it's comforting for me not comforting no
it is it is for sure because so there's
a line in a rap song
next time I hear it I need to write it
down and remember who it was no it's not
a rap song it's just a song it's on like
top hits today on Spotify I don't know a
who and the guy said part of living is
making mistakes but it's also trying to
be great and I thought yes like people
have gotten so into the culture of it's
okay to make mistakes that they forgive
the second part which is but those
mistakes should be in service of trying
to be great like trying to really
[ __ ] do something with your life like
something extraordinary that everybody's
going to want that I get it but like for
the people that are prepared to really
eat the potential out of life like man
you should be really striving for
something just wildly exceptional but in
that to know that you're probably never
going to get great at everything but
you're going to have labels so there's
going to be parts of your personality
that just are ridiculous like we
literally were having sort of a semi
company meeting this morning about
they're just things I forget about it's
crazy like first of all to all the
impact subs out there this is a good
reminder
I really do write the news letters
because it didn't go out to the
expecting forgot to write it
despite being reminded yesterday and
it's yeah I I haven't ever get addressed
that and I really and part of the reason
I have an address it is I'm this is so
fixed mindset of me
I'm not convinced I can fix it whoa I
know I know so I got a I work about I'm
going to do with that yeah because damn
yeah
alright let's kick it over to our
Facebook live audience so this question
is from mr. Cabrera who has been in the
comments a lot I know that we
mispronounced your first name so that's
why I'm calling you mr. Barrera and I
know that at one point you phonetically
spelled it out and with Jumaane Jima we
used to call you Jermaine
Allen said Marnie this forgot my Toma
yeah
do you Monty my boy there it is so we
will correct that and get it right next
entry money thank you
he says agent Smith and Tom the
breakdown duo my question stems
from what Laila Ali said not everyone
has the same hunger and tenacity she
understood that her son didn't have the
tenacity she possessed but that he had
strong leadership qualities how do you
go about seeing someone's potential and
learning how to guide them forward good
question Jumaane is this because you
have kids I need a little more context
I'll make some up let's put it in the
context of employees managing people kay
so one I always start with asking what
are your goals so I don't want to impose
my goals on anybody and I'm beginning
you'll notice in the 25 bullet points
which now actually are up thanks to the
lovely and how oh my god if we
introduced Molly yet
no Molly colleague get out there so our
intern army continues to grow which is
amazing I would bring Ibrahim Ibrahim on
as well but he's actually the one life
switching right Yeah right
he's back so yeah he went deep come on
you want to stand right here we kinda
have to duck down a little bit yeah
otherwise you're a floating torso Molly
am the newest marketing intern and we
are so excited to have the 25 bullets
live on the website right now I did go
check that out under the blog it's
titled impact theory and 25 bullet so
check that out list no what do you think
boom and I saw Eva he snuck up here come
on in so you really gonna have to like
squat down a little bit this this man is
not short that is an easy way to say
that hey what's up guys just happy to be
here and hoping to make an impact on
your guys's life oh well thank you
alright so those are live now and I
started that because of why oh because
employees goals how to help somebody so
yeah I start by asking people what their
goals are and you'll notice that in the
bullet point some of the language that
I'm beginning to try out is like being a
linchpin I always used to tell people to
be an entrepreneur and it was like I've
already want that yeah so in fact I'll
say that once if people were really to
live as an actual entrepreneur the
number of people who would enjoy it is
probably far less than 10% so now I've
switched be a lynchpin I I'm going to
say this
I don't want to be around people from a
business perspective you don't want to
be a linchpin I literally I don't
understand that somebody who's literally
saying like I'm not trying to like
optimize myself because I don't
understand them I'm not judging them I'm
not saying they're bad people I just
want to talk about not having anything
in common
I will seem so crazy to them yeah so I'm
looking for linchpins I'm looking for
people that are like I want to get one
go around at this I want to get as good
as I can at whatever I'm going to do I
was having a weird internal moment
earlier today where I'm like playing
this dialogue in my head and I was like
I don't care if like what you want to do
is clean floors [ __ ] clean those
floors man like take pride in what you
do take pride in what you do
like I'll I do not understand if you
don't do something like to get good at
it to really like shine just to be proud
of that [ __ ] like what are you doing
what are you doing I don't understand so
anyway
Jumaane yes do you money I would need to
understand like what is the goal so I
would bring an employee in and say okay
what are you trying to accomplish
now here's why I am actually firing my
prefrontal cortex to not bite the
microphone which I'll never understand
why that like urge expresses itself in
fighting might be rabies might wait
babies yeah it might be rabies that's a
very good point I like most people don't
know they don't know what they want yeah
and most people that think they know
what they want are pacifying themselves
with I want to help people how do you
want to help people and if you just want
to help people a little bit on the
weekends then awesome but we can give
that advice but if you want like
somebody wrote to me today and said I
want to help a million people over the
next two years cool that's awesome but
how do i what because if you want to
help that many people first of all now
we have to scale this isn't one-on-one
stuff this isn't nights and weekends
this is like I'm committing my life to
helping a million people over the next
year so also now it's like two years of
your time like you've got to eat somehow
so like what's the plan
monetize that so people need to learn to
get hyper specific but let's pretend
that that person came in and they gave
me incredibly specific answers they knew
exactly what they wanted to do now we
just work backwards and honestly one of
the last things I'm going to get to is
the the you know the tenacity the Gris
or whatever because there's so many just
practical concrete steps and things that
they need to do and then at some point
they'll either catch fire for it and
find that it's a real passion and then
that passion is going to be the
foundational element to grip okay
because if you don't have passion if you
don't have that energy and enthusiasm
you're just going to change and change
and change you're going to pivot that's
not I don't want to do that anymore I
want to do this I know I don't want to
do that so it's like normally people are
caught up in the the sort of falling and
love phase right and you may be falling
so I'm going to be an engineer now I'm
going to be a soccer player now I'm
going to be a musician like what they're
really doing is they're falling in love
the initial excitement before the
learning process gets boring yeah
because it's not the Hardman it's really
not the heart it's the boring it's the
like awesomeness again it's like when I
think about writing writing is hard for
me
there's nothing facil about it nothing
yeah so when I'm prepping for one of the
impact Theory interviews I love the
research research is easy for me because
it triggers innate excitement I'm
learning something new I have so much
fun with that like super easy but then
when I have to write the intro I know
it's going to be hard and so I like to
put it off but one more video would help
like one more article that would that
would really help and so it always ends
up invariably I get a text from Casey
about five minutes before I'm supposed
to be on set where she's like hey I need
the copy for the teleprompter and I'm
like oh like I'm still writing it
because I put it off put it on put it on
put it off so it's my ability to push
through that part the hard part like
it's it's not physically taxing so when
I say hard like that I don't mean it's
not like the long hours the part because
the long hours the physically draining
all that
that's easy to do when you're excited
but the boring part of like having to
rewrite that sentence like 30 times and
face my inadequacies and like that's
where it sucks and so that like you're
so deep in the process by then it's like
the passion of what you're trying to
create is really going to be the thing
that carries you across that's such a
long answer this question but it really
is get to the highly tactical first
worried about the sort of interpersonal
emotional stuff second like you got to
see where they're falling apart will
almost certainly be boredom which will
be overcome largely by having a vision
of what you want to become what you're
trying to accomplish so to Leila Lee's
point about her son that he doesn't
necessarily have the tenacity but he's a
good leader the honest answer is if he
doesn't develop the tenacity he'll never
be able to lead left-arm truth so at
some point like you have to develop I
like it I like two things from this
episode so you said confidence is the
foundation to vulnerability right and
passion is the foundation to grit yeah
like the hell folks true alright here's
another question
this is she talked about choosing the
one thing to double down on and this is
a question I had to is this is great and
he got in some going from knowing what
you want to do and planning for it
to overcoming the hesitation that comes
from fear of needing more preparation
and just executing basically how do you
know when to stop planning and start
executing so sooner is art execute
everything else is an excuse everything
so it's all one big lie you're telling
yourself so if you you'll never learn
faster then you'll learn by trying to
execute something so they say the best
way to learn something is to teach it
why because you think you understand it
until you have to go explain it to
somebody else and you realize whoa I
actually don't understand this but now
you know exactly what you don't
understand because as you try to put the
words around you realize I need to go
reroute that right so when like whatever
your vision is I want like
this is perfect I want to help starving
children in Africa rad you know what
your first step is this is this is such
bad advice because I'm forcing you just
to fail right away but it is the best
advice you're ever going to get because
if you did this if you have the cojones
to do this you will leapfrog everyone
you want to help starving children in
Africa the first step book a flight to
Africa period second step get a hotel
that's probably good third step what
village are you going to do it that's an
austere step and then just and don't
book the trip for six months from now
book the trip for this weekend get off
the plane be hopelessly lost totally
confused probably have something bad or
at least stupid happen to you lose your
wallet run out of money who knows
or maybe you stumble upon something
amazing somebody who can help you like
if I were going to do it that's not what
I would do but for somebody who thinks
that acting like how do I get over the
hesitation it is the one thing where
there is no other answer then look
inward change your identity to be the
person who acts immediately say I am the
type of person who acts immediately so
if I want to help starving children in
Africa I'm going to book a ticket right
now
like then live up to that if you do that
all of the other problems in your life
will fade away to nothing because you
will go there you will realize what a
stupid mistake it was to go unprepared
but you will have acted and so the one
thing that you're telling me is actually
your stumbling block you will get over
that and if you're smart once if it's
let's say it's Thursday and your flight
leaves tomorrow the first thing I'm
going to do is start researching okay
where's the area I'm going is anybody
else done anything there because I'm
going to be in a full-blown state of
panic because I know that this is coming
whether I wanted to or not right so I
love putting that gun to my head that's
why like dude I tell people what we're
up to I push people to get it done fast
like the best example of what it is like
to be an entrepreneur is to jump off a
cliff with a parachute on your back and
try to build an airplane on the way down
now I say have the parachute on your
back there's no reason
somebody's going to kill you but that
hey see if you can figure it out because
that's what it feels like but it's
people that never jump they're just
never going to build that thing as fast
as the people who are willing to take
the risk because now you're literally
falling it's like well I better figure
something out otherwise I've got to pull
the ripcord and admit that this didn't
work so but if you like stop planning go
out and do something like there's
nothing more powerful than that you will
figure things out as you go along or you
will learn something about yourself
which is that what are you going to
learn I know you're going to learn
you're going to learn that you're scared
you're going to learn that you're not
smart enough you're going to learn that
you're not capable enough you're going
to learn a whole host of very negative
things and if in that moment you realize
the absolute crushing necessity to
switch your identity to that of the
learner and to begin building your
self-esteem around identifying the right
answer faster than anyone else always
being willing to act always being
willing to stare naked Liat your
inadequacies and address them to the
acquisition of skills like if you do
that everything in your life will change
so it's like I don't know what magic
answered people want like [ __ ] fumble
your way through life just go fall on
your face get back up like none of it
matters what is the worst the worst
thing that could happen to you as you
die yes can we agree yeah hello as I say
that word I literally a light goes out
like a bow that is amazing that's an
amazing prognostication ok the worst
thing that can happen is that you die or
maybe slightly less than that that you
almost die and you're stuck on
ventilation for a very long time you
drain your family's resources ok
yep that now that we've just like
embraced that that is the absolute worst
that could happen we can build in
protective mechanisms from that one but
there there is like a universe of things
that you do before you start putting
yourself at risk for that but being
afraid to act it is it is the one and
only thing that's just stupid
it's just stupid
take an action figure it out don't be
worried to embarrass yourself don't be
afraid to go broke like go for it okay
can always rebuild you're not even
rebuild you can always get back to where
you are now I promise you can build more
skills and get farther ahead the only
thing that is a waste of life is desert
8 I have to stop myself from continuing
because I just want to say it over and
over and over that's the only thing that
scares me for people the good stuff
right there all right if you're just
joining us we're on Facebook live this
is after impact largely in the dark you
are getting a little dark in here we are
discussing the episode with Laila Ali on
impact theory which was an awesome one
if you haven't seen it go check it out
we got a comment on YouTube here I just
want to read some from Jacqueline Lucian
who loved the episode she says authentic
wise lovable balanced engaging and
inspiring Laila Ali everyone should read
your story in here this interview I will
return to listen to this interview when
I need more clarity strength and
direction grateful for you and addition
you are truly amazing a beautiful spot
on talented Tom thank you I look forward
and will continue listening you have a
dedicated subscriber Thank You
Jacqueline thank you amazing alright
let's get into another question this is
from Kasim Ali sometimes it's helpful to
find your inner gift and focus what is
inside when someone is very close as
Leila's father is but if someone does
not have what you should what she should
do in order to focus to find this I
started reading this before reading this
what are some of the takeaways you got
from the Laila Ali episode let's just go
there
I'm sorry Kasim I don't quite follow the
question all right um if you could put
in the comments what you're trying to
say we'll get to it okay so what are
some takeaways so building a champion
mindset is very possible and if I
remember I she said get a team around
you I love that that that was the
beginning of her answer and that is
something that's so important to me and
so I did I ever tell you I didn't get my
driver's license I was 16 and a half
know the reason I didn't get my driver's
license was I knew as soon as I get my
driver's life so I'll no longer spend
the night at my friend's house and I so
enjoyed that phase of my life of like
going to your friends your parents rip
you off you there all night like you
feel sort of stuff but in the limitation
is the joy and all that and I thought as
soon as I get that I'm never going to
say the night of someone else house it's
never convenient and he's never as
comfortable so I would just drive home
so I was so hyper aware of moving from
phase to phase the face so I bring that
up because team is like one of the
greatest joys of my life and I am so
grateful for the phase that we're in
right now at impact theory where it is
it's a small team everyone is pointed in
the same direction we're [ __ ] the
sighted things are moving fast people
from the outside now are looking and
going how are you guys doing this so
fast right like now I'm hearing that
over and over and over and my answer is
always the same when you have a small
group of dedicated people who are
talented beyond measure every single one
of them plays like a linchpin you have a
culture of self-improvement of working
together as a team like magical [ __ ]
happens so for her to say that the
champions mindset to get there starts
with surrounding yourself with those
people like that resonated with me so
much and my wife was my initial team
member and the person that held me to a
standard and pushed me to be better and
like I routinely think it makes me laugh
people think we're so crazy because this
company is dead split down the middle
50/50 her and I like that is a legal
like [ __ ] nightmare and but like I
promise you no matter what happens like
that will never be an issue because like
she's earned her half right I've earned
my half like it is like that's just an
understanding that we have and so team
team team I just can't say it enough
selection matters and getting a team
together but get it
that growth mindset that are pushing
that know what they're trying to
accomplish they're working together they
have different roles so they're not
overlapping trying to be the same thing
that's critical she talked about
fighting through the moments of weakness
where you doubt yourself and then just
acquiring the skills like actually
getting good at something actually
putting in the work showing up in the
gym everyday and boxing boxing boxing
boxing like getting to the fundamentals
and like those three things to me are
just so potent and powerful and she just
boom boom she and you could tell it she
never really thought about it before so
that was just her going what did I do
and it they are so on the money like
that was one of the the best things for
me I made a whole list but those like
the three and I sent you the list so you
might actually have it but those were
the a few like three sort of key things
or the one broken into three things that
really hit me nice all right I have a
question so you make a distinction in
the episode between talent and early
wins can you explain why that difference
is important to you and how do you
identify early wins yeah so talent I
think you get you through just a metric
ton of grit and hard work so you can
develop talent like I am a talented
speaker I was not born a talented
speaker so but I got early wins in
speaking meaning like everyone tries to
find our dynamic in the family and I
could make people laugh and because I
could make people laugh like I would
let's add tried it one day oh wow I got
a chuckle or a smile or whatever and
then by the end of high school I could
make people cry like in laughter and but
that wasn't that initial reaction not
like I was so funny out of the womb
people just like you know falling over
themselves so it really started with an
early win you get to smile you get to
chuckle and then you start to develop it
and practice it and put in the hours and
you can develop that into a talent so
take somebody who's gifted as sport
right so maybe and the the study that
they did on this the number of hockey
play professional hockey players born
from I guess January through March
it's like two-thirds of all professional
hockey players were born in those three
months why because the way the Canadiens
system works those kids end up being the
oldest people in their class and so
they're just at that age it makes a big
difference to be six or eight months
older than everybody else so now you're
bigger you're stronger you're more
coordinated you're a little more mature
and so you play better against the
people who are supposedly your age so
the coaches are like whoa this kids
really good they gravitate towards you
to give you more attention you get more
praise you score more goals you get more
confidence you can pay more attention to
you maybe you get better coaching so it
becomes this like self-fulfilling
prophecy right but it just started with
the lucky break of being a little bit
older a little bit stronger so you get
somebody who like one of the if I'm not
mistaken one of the things that makes
for a great sprinter is the ability to
relax your hamstring faster than normal
okay and that's the thing that like
holds people back so imagine that you're
just a little bit
whatever genetically you're a little bit
better at relaxing your hamstring now if
you don't put in the work you're never
going to be a world-class runner but you
get that early win right where you're a
little bit faster than the people in
your class and so hey that's all good
and so you want to do it more so anyway
that's the difference between an early
win and a talent it's very important and
I think that people end up in random
random careers because they had a weird
early win like when I think about I
almost became a stand-up comedian and if
it weren't for Mitch Hedberg literally I
would be I think I'd be one of the
greatest of course because anything I
apply myself to but that I almost was a
stand-up comic and because I got really
wins in it in why Mitch Hedberg had I
told this story before yeah I think so
but for our I just let them this is I'm
a big fan of it yeah this is one of my
favorite stories so graduate college
assume I'm going to get the three
picture deal I crash and burn my senior
year in college and literally I felt
like my whole life was going up in smoke
and now I had I was lost I did not know
where I was going to go what I was going
to do and in those moments where your
days you grabbed for the person's legs
right that's what they teach you in MMA
and so my version of grabbing the legs
is to go back to comedy which is what I
always assumed my career was going to be
anyway and it wasn't until I went to
college that I decided you know what I
want to take myself a little more
seriously like I'm actually passionate
about the art of cinema and always being
funny because I used
a very self-deprecating style of humor
and so you're just reinforcing all this
negative [ __ ] about yourself and it gets
a lot of laughs it's very funny and it
actually wasn't corrosive to me but it
stopped me from thinking of myself
somebody who could build up and get
better because I was just thinking about
how funny it was that I was the way that
I was right yeah
so in grabbing for those legs going back
to comedy when I just couldn't figure
out what my life was going to be or how
I was ever going to break into
filmmaking I went back on stage I
actually performed at the Laugh Factory
on open mic and it is fascinating what
happens in open mic so a bunch of random
people come up to do comedy they're
almost universally terrible and so the
audience who's there primarily to see
the person that they came with starts at
like maybe 350 people or whatever and it
dwindles down to nothing and by the time
the the open mic people come like really
big names come but to try out new
material so Kim Wayans was there that
night I think there was another big name
and but it was just like they were
waffling on it was terrible and so
finally I'm like okay I can't take any
more of this like we got to get out of
here so I tapped my friend and I'm like
hey you know let's get let's leave and
this guy comes on and he's like hey
everybody that literally I'm not kidding
there was like 15 people maybe left in
the audience and two of us were getting
up to leave and the guy comes on and
goes the man who is about to come out is
the funniest man in America you're going
to want to see him I promise you it's
going to be worth paying for this and so
I'm like how do you leave like a were
being called out and I'd be like now I'm
sure
so we sit back down the guys but I'd
never heard of him but the guy's like
everybody Mitch Hedberg and this guy
comes out and he's got like these
sunglasses on inside and keeps closing
his eyes I'm like who is this guy like
doesn't seem like it's gonna be very
funny and then you know Mitch right so
unfortunately Mitch's since passed away
but you guys should all do yourself a
favor and look this guy up he is the
funniest comedian to ever walk the earth
and he does this every joke is very
simple it's a setup and a knock down
will you do one for us yeah I know
you're on the projects come on like you
got this vocal pattern
so one of my favorite Mitch Hedberg
jokes is he says I'm humble a lot he
says I am humble a lot but I also say a
lot of stupid [ __ ] he's like so I'm
walking down the street with my friend
and I'm mumbling and he says what I say
it again he says what is it pretty soon
I'm yelling that tree is far away yeah
so it [ __ ] like that it is like they're
so dead simple but he does them one
after the other after the other after
the other and he's got this like just
intriguing vocal pattern and like word
choice I remember him saying must i dial
them all like it was like just I was in
hysterics
so anyway midway through his set and
trust me when I say we are not doing
Mitch Hedberg justice right now he's
gonna go just drop him into YouTube I'm
laughing so hard in the middle of his
set tears are streaming down my face
that's whatever I now go into like
another place where I actually ask
myself as I am gasping for air can you
laugh until you die and I was actually
worried that if he like hit another one
that was too [ __ ] funny that I may
actually pass away in the [ __ ] office
and so I'm like this is funny
yeah what I did was humorous this is
funny and I knew enough at that moment
to go I could get that good but I would
have to dedicate my life to it I would
have to get rid of the film thing I
would have to do stand-up comedy all day
every day day and night I would have to
tour like that would be it nothing could
exist in my life but that and I just
wasn't prepared to do it I didn't love
it as much as I loved film so it just
didn't make sense
but because I saw what greatness really
was I could ask myself am I willing to
put in the work to get that good and the
answer was no and so my but just because
you didn't have the passion for it yes I
didn't have a passion not and truly I
actually I have the arrogance of belief
I believed even then I could get that
good but it just became so clear the gap
between where I was and where he was
until that moment I was delusional
enough to think that I was like a couple
weeks out right like if I just got up
and I did it you know
like one little a little bit of traction
you're good yeah yeah all good and then
I saw him I was like yeah there there's
a a universe between us and that
universe is vast so didn't have the
passion to do it well it didn't see
Mitch Hedberg coming up in this episode
of after impact but it was an
interesting story and unfortunately we
have to wrap so I want to thank everyone
from Facebook live for joining us today
and I also want to give three takeaways
from this episode if you haven't seen it
that I think should inspire you to go
watch it or listen to it on the podcast
so the first is we didn't even get to
talk about this but it's a good story
get better not bitter get better not
bitter that is from Laila Ali herself I
think it's a great idea the second is
you can be that great and still not be
perfect so don't worry about the things
that you're struggling at only focus on
the thing you're passionate about and
get really good at that and the last is
just very simple no excuses no excuses
okay you have the flu okay well don't
sit down in your corner because if you
sit down you're not going to get back up
no excuses I love that all right guys
thank you so much for joining us Laila
blew me away this one was awesome I hope
you guys enjoy it as much as I did and
if you haven't already subscribed be
sure to do so it is a weekly show and
until next time my friends be legendary
take care