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Language: en
What is up everybody? Welcome to another
episode of Facebook Live Q&A. I am your
host Tom Billu and I am here with the
man, the myth, the legend, Dr. Finesse.
How you doing?
All right, so Cindy is out of town
today. She is off gallivanting having an
amazing time, I hope, in Vegas. She got
to fly Jet Sweet X. Full disclosure, I
am an investor in the company, but like
that airline is amazing. So
Oh, man. I'm so jealous. it. Book a
flight, man. Next time you go into
Vegas, dude,
it is private flight experience for the
cost of a Southwest ticket. It's nuts.
That's insane. That's just insane.
Yeah.
So, there we have it. All right, but now
let us dive in. What do we have? Are we
doing like a hey, share this and um that
whole thing? Do do you have
instructions, Dr. Finesse?
Uh, what I just have I just have
questions here.
All right. Well, let's first say um so
welcome everybody to the live feed
and if this content is adding value to
your life, please do share it. Uh our
last live we broke records like twice in
the feed which was amazing. So let's see
if we can do that again. It all comes
down to how much you guys share it. So
if it's adding value, um obviously if
it's not feel free to close your browser
now and move on. But if it's adding
value, please do share it. That would be
amazing. and we're taking your
questions. So, if you have them, be sure
to drop them in. I'm looking at my man
Chase over there. He goes through, looks
for uh the most concise ones that he
thinks are gonna really add value to the
crowd and he pulls them out for us. So,
your job is to impress Chase with your
question and then we will answer answer.
So, all right, without further ado, Dr.
Finesse, take it away.
All right, first question from Will
Colette.
All right.
All right. Since I'm always working
during the live stream, here's my
question for your next episode. Nice.
A lot of recommendations for improving
job conditions or leaving a job assume
that we have full freedom in our
choices.
What if you're assigned long-term to a
remote unfavorable location or with
people who have fixed mindsets?
Sometimes this can happen in the
military. Just true.
Uh uh uh. Okay. I was trying I'm like,
is he in a communist country?
No. No. He has a quick note. He's very
proud to serve. Uh, but it is realistic
that sometimes service members get jobs
or locations that most people wouldn't
want,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah. No, no, I know who this is, but I
wasn't sure if he was being ky about the
service part or not. So, okay.
So, yeah, Will's in the military. It's
actually a pretty interesting post that
he has, which that I don't know if he
wants discuss, so I won't, but um
certainly very interesting. Um, so
here's the answer. At the end of the
day, you need to lead by example. And um
humans are resistant to change. So don't
expect it to change overnight. But if
you are there, you've always got a
choice, right? So you can either give in
to the fixed mindset and the way that
people are looking and thinking
negatively or whatever. Um or you can
literally what I would do is take pride
in like I can be an island of a growth
mindset. I can be in the middle of a
bunch of people that have a very fixed
mindset and I can still choose to be in
a good mood. It is an awesome time to
practice not letting other people
externally mess with your vibe, right?
Because you always have that choice
between stimulus and response is like
where the human existence is like where
you get to decide whether you're going
to respond negatively. Respond by
recentering yourself around positivity
or whatever. So um you can't always sway
the entire group especially not a group
as big and that has as much momentum as
a military unit. Um but you can lead by
example. You can hope that other people
see that whoa like this one guy like in
the face of you know either the PT or
all the negativity or whatever like this
one guy is positive and people love
being around positivity. That's one
thing about my own personality that I
found is always the thing that's allowed
me to build teams is I'm excitable. I'm
enthusiastic and people want to My wife
is tripping and dying over here in the
background. Um also claude hopping which
was an amazing part of the beginning of
our relationship. My wife always wore
the biggest, clunkiest heels. And the
apartment that I was living in at the
time like was an echo chamber. And so
we'd get back at like 1:30 in the
morning. She'd be like clunk clunk. And
I was the manager. So I was like, "Oh my
god." Like the manager, this clock
hopping girlfriend is waking everybody
up. So uh for those of you that were
hearing her trod across the house. Um so
yeah that's that's really my answer with
uh that is either you sway people by
being the bastion of joy and optimism
all that and you start to collect people
that are infected by your own enthusiasm
or you just practice not being um
infected by other people's negative
attitude which will serve you very well
as there are inevitably going to be
times where you're in a situation where
other people are negative and and you
either don't have the time to change
them or just the the situation doesn't
lend itself. Do you know what uh branch
of the military will serve in?
I do, but because he didn't post it. I
don't want to sell a hat. Like, I don't
know. That makes sense.
You know what I mean? So,
I'm just curious because I'm sure you
remember, but I grew up um uh an army
dependent, which is aka an army brat.
Uh my dad served 35 years active duty.
Wa.
35 years active duty. Wow. Yeah. So, we
were moving every 3 to four years. Every
3 to four years, we were always moving.
I guess it was a little different for my
dad because with me I was in school and
I was doing it with a bunch of kids who
were in school and you know and kids are
to a point if you're doing that at that
age kids are resilient they're adaptable
so it's a different type of atmosphere
like you you were forced to kind of be
uh social or meet new people you know
what I mean cuz you're going to school
and you're partaking in activities. I
can understand being in a work
environment that being harder. I mean I
do I can recall my dad he kind of he was
always an introvert I guess but I think
he really really became an introvert in
the army because he was moving around
constantly. So when I think of my dad's
friends I think of my dad and my mom
right
that's it. My mom was extremely social.
So she had friends everywhere like at
the gas station at the store whatever
she would just talk to anybody you know
so but but still they kept very much to
themselves and they would just stay home
and stay inside and talk to themselves.
But for me, you know, I would always,
you know, I was forced to be social and
uh I don't know if Will plans on having
kids or if he has kids, but at least I
think for the most part, if he does stay
in the military and he continues to move
around in those environments, his kids
may benefit cuz I feel God, I can easily
say 95% of the friends that I grew up
with, cuz they were all doing the same
thing, moving around, they are all the
most social and adaptable people, hands
down. and they can be a chameleon in any
situation. So, I guess using that
answer, maybe you can apply that to
yourself. And I know it's a little
different cuz you're an adult, but
that's I guess
why is that different, Dr. Veness?
I think it's different cuz I remember me
reading this uh GQ article and it was a
fascinating article and it made so much
sense and I'm sure you could weigh in on
this. The article was about how men
socially shut down at around 22 and stop
feeling the need to make friends. And
most of men have lifelong friends that
they had in uh either college or towards
the late end of high school. Depends
where they lived. But their lifelong
close friends uh they didn't add any
after 22 for the most part. Whereas
women could go they become friends with
anyone. I mean we see it all the time.
We see women like oh let's have drinks
or let's get together let's have coffee.
You know what I mean? And women could
say that to each other, but you rarely
see guys say, "Hey man, let's have some
coffee, man. Let's have a beer. Let's go
to this." If they don't know the guy,
you know what I mean? So, uh, this
article profiled, uh, several men and
one man, for example, was, uh, he did
some type of business which caused him
to move from city to city. And he had
moved from New York to Chicago, and he
was miserable because he couldn't make
new friends. all his lifelong friends
were friends that he had in college,
but here he was in Chicago and he liked
to play basketball, but he just couldn't
go up to someone and play, hey man, you
want to go play basketball? It was just
something there's something with men
that they can't adapt to new uh social
friends, so to speak, uh after 22. I
mean, of course, there are a lot of
different exceptions, but it was
interesting. So I think that has a lot
to do with my dad maybe even Will you
know you're and plus uh military
military work environment is I mean
again just knowing from my dad I can't
really um uh weigh in on it completely.
It's not the most social atmosphere
where you're like hey what's hanging out
and having fun and everything you know
so I could understand it being a
challenge. So I guess that's that's my
my point.
I dig it.
Yeah
I dig it.
Um, all right. Well, the next question
from Max G. Milton Archer. Wow,
that's a name.
That's a name.
Max G. Milton Archer. It's like an
assassin.
That's amazing. Hey, Tom. What are some
quickfire tips for taking an an idea for
a physical product that has not been
done to actually creating it and selling
it?
So, basically, how do you prototype it?
Is that how we're going to interpret
that question? So, it really comes down
to what the product is. So, um, God,
there's a town in China. I think it's
Shenzhen. Uh, I could be wrong about
that. Let's not quote me on that. If
this were national television, I'd say,
"Hey, there's a a thing in China." I
don't remember what city it is, but
there's a city in China that's becoming
known as like the um the Silicon Valley
of physical products. So it's like if
you're looking to get a prototype made
like certainly if it has to do with
technology like if your physical product
is clothing then it would be a totally
different answer but um finding like
what's that hot bed like when um one of
the things that we'll be doing
ultimately from merchandising
perspective is socks and like Turkey of
all places is like really known for
their socks okay like who would have
known right but so you go and there are
different places that have really
specialized because what it is is huge
capital investments into the equipment
So it's certain equipment that makes
socks, it's certain equipments that make
hats, shirts, shoes, right? So and
different places are known for um
different uh manufacturing types. So
really um to give you a very specific
answer, I'd have to know exactly what
the product is and then I would just
start doing research online and trade
shows are huge, huge, huge. Um so
finding the trade show that has to do
with what you're trying to make and
going to that. So, uh, because we're
going to be so heavily invested in
merchandise, um, I went to Magic and
Magic has a whole floor that I mean has
unimaginable amounts of square footage
for different things. So, like there's
an area for shoes, there's an area for
textiles and, you know, you can go and
figure out like, okay, if I want to make
XYZ, like where is that? So, I was
looking at direct to garment printing
that was like a big thing for me and so
it was like new technology, 3D printing,
all that stuff. Um, and there's an area
on the show floor for that. So, um, just
doing the research, finding out what the
trade shows are for that, identifying
the region in the world that's best at
that, that has the best equipment that's
going to be able to give you the quality
that you're looking for or the price
point, uh, which you may be more
sensitive to price. And quality, it
really depends on the kind of business
that you're trying to make, but all the
information that you need is out there,
um, online and at trade shows. That's
really the the long and the short of it.
All right.
Thank you, uh, Max G. Milton, Archer,
the assassin. the assassin.
Uh Stacy Smith, as a creative, I'm
curious about how the production or
support of original narrative content is
going to unfold. I know from watching
past episodes that there are plans for a
studio, but I'm curious whether that
will involve producing content that will
overtly fall under the IT manner uh in
the way Paramount or Sony or Disney
produce content or will it be by backing
overtly or silently creatives that are
already working on producing content
that holds similar values to that of
Impact Theory or both? Or am I on the
wrong track or neither? That's Stacy and
she find she covered a lot of bases.
She did. She did. She also cited peace,
love, and music.
Peace, love, music. And before we
started, we were talking about peace,
love, and death metal. Uh yeah, I like
that sign off. But the the range of
music uh could make that somewhat of a
collision. Um so what we're going to be
doing is really So what does a studio
look like in the 21st century? Um in a
highly connected, hypersocial world
where the internet exists and you can
reach content creators all around the
world. Um, so we will be pitching ideas
to other production companies. We will
be keeping ideas in house. We will be
acquiring the life rights. Um, I'm a
huge believer in the following setup.
Acquiring the life rights to somebody
and then doing a fictionalized account
of their life, but getting them to be
very active socially to build their own
brand to get out there and say, "Look,
this is me. The story is sort of loosely
based in my life." Um, and it's a model
that, um, they did with Entourage and
and I haven't seen anybody else really
follow up on that, but I think it's a
really powerful model. That's that's the
first thing that we're moving on. Um, is
there are three people right now that
we're working on finalizing
contractually
that we want to get their life rights,
but do a fictionalized account. The
reason I want to do a fictionalized
version is it lets you be more
sensational. It lets you exaggerate. It
lets you tell a bigger story where you
can really see the themes and all that.
in the ways that people's real lives
don't line up. They're a little bit
messier. They're not um it doesn't let
you take people on the the right kind of
roller coaster and then you're beholden
to the timeline of their life which
becomes problematic. But knowing that
this is something that was inspired by a
real person, that you could get to know
that person. Um I think that we would
ultimately help that person do a
biography or an autobiography so you
know, okay, this is the real story.
Here's the fictionalized accounts. Here
are the themes. Here are the crossover
points. Um, and so that I think is a
model that's going to be really, really
powerful. And in a hyper social age
where people are stepping out front
where personal branding is a big deal, I
think people are going to want that more
and more. And I don't know about you,
but I actually have a harder and harder
time watching more and more sensational
things. If it's not like tied to
something, it feels a little bit like I
can't enjoy um movies about magic. And
the reason I can't is I know they're
just doing camera tricks. And what makes
magic so powerful is that it's right
there in front of you. and you still
can't tell how it's being done. So, that
like to me is is um I won't it's not
exclusive. We won't only do things that
are um a fictionalized version of a real
story, but I think that it's a very
powerful genre that I think is only
going to gain steam. Um so, yeah,
ultimately, cuz what we have to balance
is, you know, you look at a Disney, you
look at a Paramount, whatever. Um they
came up in a totally different time when
just having a camera, knowing how to
operate it gave you a huge leg up. So,
we're not living in that world anymore.
So now what's happening is the studios
are just throwing more and more capital
at it. So to be a big studio means to
have just massive financial backing so
that you can do a 200 million summer
$200 million summer blockbuster and
their ability to immediately go from
like nothing to this is in you know
thousands of theaters worldwide
globally. Um I'm not sure why I said
worldwide and globally those are the
same. Um but to be able to like that
sort of infrastructure to get that out
there is is really really incredible.
Um, so that's what they're good at. So
trying to compete with them at that
would be suicide, right? We're we don't
have the backing to do that and I have
no interest in raising the capital. I
want to do this ourselves. I want to
maintain creative control. Um, so I
believe the play is to go out to find
creators to um, essentially take what
they're doing on spec and make sure that
they're rewarded for that all the way
through the system. So, one of the big
complaints right now is if you're not a
big artist, you're never going to
participate in things like merchandising
rights. So, um they lose creative
control. They don't reap the financial
benefits. Um so, we want to be a very
artist friendly studio. I'm saying this
to you, you already know this. We want
to be a very artist friendly studio. We
want to make sure that it's financially
lucrative to associate with us. Um that
way, we don't have to do the huge
outlays up front, but that does mean
that we're going to have to enrich
artists on the back end. And I think
that's incredibly powerful anyway. Um
because you know paying somebody a h
100,000 or even 250,000 for an idea up
front and then that becomes like a
massive blockbuster and you know we make
$6 billion. I mean think about what um
Star Wars did. I mean just untold
billions of dollars in merchandising,
right? So, and and that's like a special
case because he created all of that
himself and but you know, imagine that
that had been submitted by a writer and
then you're like, "Oh my god, like this
thing that I created, I have virtually
nothing to show for it." And that that
story is is as old as the Hollywood
system, right? So, um
what we want to do is if you really know
about United Artists and how that went
and how they said, "Look, we're tired of
being taken advantage of. we're going to
come together as a collective of of very
wellrecoognized um actors and filmmakers
and we're going to make our own studio
and then ultimately they implode. But um
I think there's lessons to be learned
from that. And then obviously I've drawn
a lot of parallels to what Disney did.
Um and we'll be leveraging a lot of that
and I think we've sort of come full
circle back to the way that Walt put
himself out front and became the ethos
of the brand. And I mean that's why
we're doing so much social content. I'll
leave it at that. I mean I can obviously
keep going. It's the the central thing
that I think about, but that gives
people an idea.
Great. That's great. Thank you, Stacy.
Uh, question from Daniel Breeze. Hey,
Tom, finish the mindset, which is
amazing. That's Carol Dwek, correct?
Yeah. Okay.
Uh, help me figure out a new approach to
talk to my 10-year-old sister, but I'm
still not sure how I can show her that
getting control of her body will allow
her to get control of her mind. Is it
just leading by example, or is there
more that we can do? Um, well, first of
all, it's a 10-year-old, so their brain
hasn't finished developing yet. So,
you're not going to get very far with
logicing your way through that one.
Leading by example is going to be huge.
Um, trying to leverage behavior instead
of trying to change it. So, um, I'm
going to guess that hiding in this is
that she has a bad diet and that she's
getting into maybe um, a not so great
place physically. Um, so yes, lead by
example. show how much fun you're
having. Um, making sure she sees things
that are pleasurable that also happen to
be very active. Um, those are all big.
And then most importantly, I think when
you change her mindset, that will echo
in other ways. And I wouldn't overly
obsess about um the body just having and
I don't know like what the relationship
is cuz it's his sister. So, but
controlling the food that's in the house
is probably the most important thing. Um
because if there's a whole bunch of junk
food laying around, people are going to
eat it because it tastes amazing and it
has a huge brain chemistry reaction. So
um the things that I would do, lead by
example if you can affect the food in
the house, that would be amazing. Don't
preach, but do show excitement. Like
show how delicious healthy food can be.
Show how much fun playing and being
active can be. Find things that she
likes doing. Um don't make it about
exercising. And don't when she does
something that's really fun and she
enjoys it physically, don't be like and
see that's exercise and it's good for
you because then they want to rebel
against it because you're trying to push
them. It feels like a judgment to them,
right? It feels like you're saying,
"Hey, you're not good enough the way
that you are." Right? And so you have to
be so so so careful of that. So more
important is to don't say things like,
"Oh my gosh, you're so smart. That's so
amazing." It's, "You worked really hard.
That's awesome. you got such good
results because you just keep putting in
the effort and man like this is really
going to turn into something and that's
so incredible. Well done for the
process, right? So, and that's what
Carol says. Don't don't reward the
results, reward the process.
And so, when she works hard, compliment
her on that. Um, don't say things like
you're smart, you're talented, you know,
it's it's got to be about you put in the
work, you did something amazing because
you worked so hard and you were so
diligent, you learned from that failure
and that's amazing, that kind of stuff.
And then finally, like first and
foremost, make her feel loved, make her
feel accepted, don't make her feel
judged. Um, when like the people that
venture the farthest, the people that
take the biggest risks, the people that
feel the best are the people that have a
strong core somewhere, a brother, a
parent, an uncle, a friend, whatever.
Like, when you feel like you have a
strong base, then you're able to go do
things. But if she feels insecure
everywhere, if she doesn't feel like
anybody um like loves her and really
cares about her and isn't trying to push
her in a direction like and if she's
rebelling against that now at 10, wait
till she's 13, 14 when her whole life
will revolve around pushing back against
people. Oh yeah.
So you really have to be way more subtle
and um love them like no matter where
they're at.
Fantastic answer. Fantastic. Uh,
question from Jiny Cabrera.
Janny, I believe many I believe is where
we came down on that one.
Janny, sorry. Janny, Janny Cabrera says,
"Tom, you said that networking is super
important to excel your business." I'm
finally going to be diving in. So, uh,
what advice do you have for that?
Well, um, going to the right networking
events. So going places where you're
going to be able to meet people who are
like-minded, going to places where and
and because you framed it in the sense
of business, like what is your business?
Who are the kinds of people that you
need to meet? Um who are people that are
either playing in that same space or
tangential so that you guys there's
going to be some synergies to that.
That's a big deal. Getting out there um
getting over any social anxiety that you
may have. I mean, this is literally to
your point about making friends um and
not trying to like get something out of
every interaction. So, the real key is
when you talk to somebody, talk to that
person. And this is this is really
critical. There is nothing more
obnoxious than talking to somebody who's
doing this.
Oh, yeah.
Right. Where they're looking like, who's
the more powerful person in the room
than this person I'm talking to,
man. That is this city
everywhere in this city. It's
unbelievable.
That's not good. It's human nature.
Yeah.
It's really ineffective as a strategy.
Um, literally, I don't remember when I
heard about this, but it was a very long
time ago. I heard that Bill Clinton
doesn't do that. Like when he talks to
you, he's talking to you. And even
though like
I mean these are it's normally somebody
sort of um that's not like on a
political spectrum, right? They're just
the guy. And so they'll be telling the
story and they'll be like he was
literally zoned in on me. Like we were
engaged like and maybe we only talked
for 5 minutes, but it was like for those
5 minutes I felt like nothing else
existed. There was no one else in the
room. he was totally focused on me and
just thinking about the human animal and
how good that feels. Like what an
amazing strategy. And so that's a big
one when when I'm meeting new people,
when I'm networking, when I'm talking to
somebody, I'm talking to that person and
I just shut off to the rest of the world
and it's like I want to get to know this
person and I am hyper aware. Yeah, I
might be missing other opportunities.
There might be somebody here that could
blow my business up, that could launch
me forward, but it is so detrimental
to the people that you're talking to
when you're always always looking. Like
it is it is play the long game. It is so
much more important to have the
reputation of like I actually care about
this person. I actually want to know
something about this person. I want to
learn about this person. and to really
really engage with them. Like when that
becomes your reputation and sure maybe
that takes you 5 years to earn that
reputation like meeting after meeting
after meeting, always doing that, always
doing that, always doing that, missing
out on opportunities. But let me tell
you, the people that you connect with,
you will connect with so much more
powerfully and so for real, and they'll
actually want to help you because it'll
be a real connection. and
versus if you're constantly trying to
find that person who's the most powerful
person in the room. When you get them
and you try to engage a, it's going to
be awkward and the chances that that
person's doing the same thing uh like
looking looking and you're not really
building a connection is extremely high.
So, don't try to like close the billion
dollar deal right now today. Try to be
authentic. Try to actually connect with
people. Try to deliver value to other
people and know that's going to come
back to you in the most incredible way
in ways that you can't yet anticipate
and just be a good person. Don't be a
dick. Like right like that's such
an important strategy. Like be a real
human being and actually connect with
people.
It's amazing how people forget that
though. It's abs I mean I see people
forget that. I just wonder what what
happened. Um and as for Bill Clinton, I
can attest to that. I had the privilege
of meeting Bill Clinton.
Really?
Yeah. He came when I worked for Tavis.
Um Tavis interviewed him and we did it
at some hotel in Anaheim. I don't know
why, but we all took a trip down to
Anaheim. I remember for some reason we
we were in a white limo still the we
were doing in the white limo. I think it
was some company that worked at the show
and they said, "Hey, take our white limo
and we rolled down to this hotel in
Anaheim and on Tavis, you know, he
interviewed a lot of politicians." So,
we had a lot of important people come to
the show, ex-presidents, acting
presidents, and when they came to the
show,
uh, their security detail, Secret
Service would come like
for two weeks beforehand, they'd show up
probably two or three times and they
scout the area. Um, they scout where
they need to put people. They do
background checks on everybody. I
remember there's a co-orker of mine. I
don't know what she did, but she could
she could never appear to any of these
interviews. Anytime Jimmy Carter would
come or anybody, she just she couldn't
be there.
Wow.
I was like, what did she do? It was the
craziest thing. Yeah. So, um, so it was
always such a big deal and you never
quite knew how to approach them. Like if
Jimmy Carter came, like he was very
friendly, but just so many people around
them. When Obama came, same thing,
right?
While he was an acting president,
Obama was uh running. So he wasn't
active president, but they still treated
him like that at the point, but it's the
same almost type of detail. And so we
were thinking, we're just like, "Oh
man." Oh, Hillary, same thing when she
came. Same deal. Uh, so we were
thinking, "Okay, this is going to be
crazy at the hotel. They're going to the
floor is going to be on lock down,
whatever." So, uh, we go upstairs to the
room and Bill walks in and it's
literally him.
You guys are on a firstname basis.
I I so funny.
Me and my boy. What's up, Bill? At this
point, everyone calls him Bill. I don't
know, there's something about him like,
"Hey, what's up, Bill?" But he walks in
and he's with two Secret Service guys.
That's it. And those guys were they were
so aloof, just hanging out. And I
remember I was afraid cuz I had a
camera. I was like, "Do I take a photo?"
And no one even asked. No one checked.
He went up to everyone individually,
just like you said, every single person
individually and had something to say to
you.
Everyone. And I remember thinking, I
absolutely love that. Absolutely love
that. And I mean in another quick
tangent, another person who's just like
that. Say what you will about Tom Cruz.
And again, God, I feel like I'm name
dropping, but I've met him three times
and it's the same deal every time. He
will look you in the eye to the point
where you're like, "This guy's looking
into my soul."
It's a little crazy, but he takes the
time to talk to you every single time.
Same thing when he came to Tavis. He
went to We had a huge staff. He was
there for probably two hours cuz he went
to every single person
to say hi and have a quick conversation.
Every single person. And I saw the same
thing happen once. I was at a Laker game
and and I looked and I'm like, "Oh,
there's Tom Cruz." and he's trying to
get they have this back room where they
take the celebrities during halftime or
before the game and he was going back
there and there were fans in the stands
just going nuts for Tom Cruz like ah Tom
Tom and and he always has security
detail and he stopped and I swear to God
it seemed like he talked to the entire
stadium
cuz he just kept stopping. I don't even
think he made it back to the back. Like
halftime was over and it's like, "Oh,
the game's starting back." Because he
literally stopped and talked to every
single person. And that's just how he
is. And I, you know, again, like besides
the fact that I I think he's a great
actor, no matter how crazy people, you
know, think he is and certain, I won't
say why, but people think he's crazy for
some reason, he definitely is a
personable person and he will talk to
you directly and treat you like you're,
you know, on his level or he's on your
level, whatever. And that says a lot
about somebody.
Yeah. So, two things to that. One,
if you think he's named dropping now,
like you should spend a day with this
guy. He knows everybody. This is crazy.
It is crazy town how many people this
guy knows. Um, so trust me, he's not
even begun to name drop. Uh, and then
two, I've heard stories about Will Smith
and Tom Cruz doing that, like standing
out in the rain, out in the cold for
hours and hours and hours, talking to
any fan that wants to talk to them. And
I think it was Will Smith that said,
"The reason that he and I are the
biggest global stars," and this was back
when they were like at their height. He
was like, "The reason that we're the
biggest global stars is because of
that."
Like that we're not um being ushered
off. We don't come in the back and leave
out the back. like we go, we meet the
fans, we don't take a single one of them
for granted. And that's part of what
plays into my notion of when I go speak,
I will answer every question. If I have
to stand there for 6, 8, 10 hours,
whatever, it doesn't matter. Un the only
thing I will say is if they're doing it
to [ __ ] with me, like because they know
that I'll stand there like I'm not like
[ __ ] I will recognize that and say,
"All right, like we're But I mean, I've
stood I think 8 hours is my record of
just standing and answering questions."
And and that's like, dude, but so when
Gary was on the show, Gary Vee, he said,
"Name drop." Hey, what's up? When Gary
was on the show, he said, um, uh, like I
don't get this whole karma thing. He's
like being good to people is a good
strategy. Like it comes back. That's
just crazy. So yeah, like going out,
meeting people, acknowledging them,
totally engaging with them, not worrying
about what opportunities you're missing.
Just really talk to that person. It's
just a good strategy. And it feels good
as a human, man. It just feels good.
Feels good. It feels good. Um, you know
what Will's party trick is? Is he has a
knack for remembering names.
Really?
That's his party trick. Uh, again, name
drop. He uh came to Tavis twice and uh
like probably three years apart.
Wow.
I had no effect on on him. I just was
like, "Hey, what's up, man?" And took a
photo with him. Was happy cuz you know,
everyone loves Will Smith. And three
years later, he came up and was like,
"Hey, what's up, Chris?" And I about
melted. I was like,
He knows my name.
And it's and it's so funny cuz I was
going around telling people I was like,
"He remembers my name from three years
ago." And that is pretty crazy.
Yeah. And this one booker who I used to
work with who's been booking for like 30
years,
booking celebrities for 30 years. He was
like, "Oh, that's like that's his thing.
He remembers names."
Wow.
And I wonder cuz there's someone like he
wearing an earpiece where someone's like
that's Christopher McDonald right there.
But he just does it. And but hey, like
you said, it worked.
Wow.
It worked.
I love that.
But I notic you remember names, too.
Like even got Jumy. I was like, "Janny,"
and you're like, "Nope, Juiny."
Yeah. Well, it's it is it's Jumani. You
said Jumy.
See, there I
Exactly. I guess I'm the Will Smith of
Tom Cruz or Tom.
Don't like Don't put that on me cuz I am
actually terrible with names and I mean
no disrespect. I will answer your
question forever, but you are going to
have to retell me your name. It is an
unfortunate current limitation that I
have. Uh I haven't gotten good at that
yet.
Okay. Okay.
But it is something that I would like to
do.
All right. Well, next question from Eli
Officer. It's a great question. Hey Tom,
what is your def That's a fantastic
name. Hey Tom, what is your definition
of rock bottom? And what are the
advantages disadvantages of being there?
Uh rock bottom is self-loathing. When
you legitimately hate yourself, you wake
up, you hate yourself. You go to bed,
you hate yourself. You wake up in the
middle of the night because you hate
yourself. like that I I can't imagine
much slower than that. And um so yeah,
like getting to that point is actually
dangerous. And so we've gotten to the
point now where people reach out to me a
little too frequently. Um
saying like, "Hey, I'm I'm in a really
dark place and I I don't know if it's
worth like continuing." And my response
is the same every time. Get help right
now. like you are gambling with your
life and that scares me and and the the
one thing that I'm grateful for is I
have a rule about that. So I have like
no fear that that will ever be a thing
for me because a I recognize that it's
temporary bra brain chemistry and you
may have wired it so that it feels
permanent but even that wiring can be
undone. Um and if I were in a state like
that I would tell myself this too shall
pass. I know how permanent this feels
right now, but nothing lasts forever.
Nothing. Not good, not bad. And so, you
have to put in the work to undo the
wiring, but recognizing that when you
get into a state like that that you're
you're quite literally gambling with
your life to not go seek help. Um, you
you just you have to have to get help.
But that's rock bottom.
Sounds like rock bottom. Yeah. And
that's it's terrifying. I mean, I can I
fortunately can say I've never reached
rock bottom. I I don't think I have uh
especially according to that definition.
So, it's a scary thought, that's for
sure.
Um, question from Joe Lee. Hi, Tom. You
discussed harnessing rage with David
Gogggins. Is this rage purely at your
own state of being and not rage you may
feel at another person other than
yourself? Thanks from Australia.
Uh, it could be either. Uh, there's
definitely times where it's going to be
outwardly focused. And there's what I
want people to understand is there's
there's so much power in certainty,
okay? In certainty, in not being unsure.
Being unsure is a hell of its own. But
when you are truly happy and full of
joy, right? Nothing's bothering you.
Just feels good. There's a certainty in
that. And when you're enraged, there's a
certainty in that. Now, that rage can be
aimed at you. That rage can be aimed at
somebody else. But the it's the
intoxicating nature of the certainty.
There's nothing stopping you from
acting. And because it's so potent to
get you to act that that's where it's
usability comes from. Now you have to be
very careful and it can't ever control
you. Like there has to be some part of
you that sits outside the rage and goes,
"Is the behavior that I'm unleashing
through this rage going to serve me?"
Cuz let me tell you, going up and
punching someone in the face almost
certainly is a bad idea. Right? So, um
it's battery first of all. So, now
you've um put yourself at risk to going
to jail, being arrested. So, almost
certainly a bad idea, but using that
rage to stand up for something to um
even if done in a strategic manner to
take action immediately. And that's one
of the things about rage is there's an
immediacy to it. So, the rage is going
to dissipate usually very very fast. Um,
and so taking advantage of it to take
action, to do something that's
productive, that moves you forward. In
the Gogggins example, um, he's really
using it to go inward, to demand more of
himself, to push through what he calls
eating somebody else's soul. But in
eating their soul, like with the example
that he gave, which I absolutely loved,
was during hell week in um in trying to
become a Navy Seal, he said he wanted
the the person that was putting him
through that to see how comfortable he
was being uncomfortable and that he
would smile through everything so that
when you went home into your comfortable
bed with your wife and kids that you
were thinking about how badly you wanted
to quit and that you know Gogggins isn't
thinking about quitting and that in that
in seeing his superior will that he
would take your soul. Um, and I love
that, right? Cuz he's not throwing
punches. He's not lashing out. He's not
saying anything, but he's saying
everything, right? By his behavior, by
his action, by being indomitable, by not
allowing himself to stop, not even
entertaining the thought of quitting.
And that's really, in fact, I just wrote
um uh it hasn't gone out yet. I think it
goes out early next week, but I just
wrote an Instagram post about this
talking about how um the thing that
feels the best is when you know about
yourself that you have a willingness to
suffer and you have a willingness to
keep pushing through that moment where
you feel lost, right? Where you feel
like I don't know what I'm doing. Like I
I feel totally a drift. I feel assailed.
I feel under attack. I don't know what
to do. And instead of quitting, which is
what most people do, right? Because
that's the easiest solution, is to back
yourself out of that um environment,
that situation that's making you feel
like that. And when you know about
yourself that you're going to push
through that, when you know that you
won't back out, when you know that you
won't quit, when you know that you're
willing to suffer, like that is
confidence. That is knowing something
about yourself. But when in your
quietest moments, in the deepest
recesses of your heart, you know, you
might quit, like that sucks. And I've
been there. And focusing on that, on
conquering that, on knowing, okay, once
I put myself in this, like I may I may
be very careful about what situations I
put myself in because I know that I
don't care enough to fight through
whatever, but once I put myself in that
situation, I'm not going to quit. Like
simple as. So, you know, even something
really simple like the 3-day fast when I
went into it, it was like it never
crossed my mind that I would quit.
Really?
No. No way. Like, it crossed my mind to
not do it.
Yeah.
But it didn't cross my mind to start it
and then not quit or to start it and
then quit. Like, you just have to like
have conquered that part of yourself.
Like,
once you do something like you do it and
you don't like bright lines, right? You
don't give yourself an out. So, I had a
very bright line with the fast
[ __ ] Like, I am not eating food
period for 72 hours. Like, it's that
[ __ ] simple. Like, there is no
Christopher. There's nothing in the
universe that's going to make me eat.
So, once you understand, like once that
line is that clearly drawn, then it's
like, "Oh, wow. This actually sucks more
than I thought it would." Oh, well,
because there's no world in which I eat.
And so once people know that about
themselves, like I know that about
myself when I draw a bright line, dude,
that's it. That's it. So I won't be
backing off. Now I'm careful about what
I draw bright lines. I'm not like, "Hey,
bright lines everywhere." Um like you
really have to think about is this
important enough?
And this is something that's happening
to me. It's all happening in the DM, Dr.
Finesse. Uh where people be like, "Hey
Tom, you want to uh take the mile a day
challenge with me?" No,
I literally don't. Hey Tom, like come
on, do a triathlon. No, [ __ ]
I'm not doing a triathlon because I
don't care enough. Right. So I'm like,
but is it also because you know if you
said yes that you're going to do it,
you're like I'm not going to quit. I'm
going to do it now.
Exactly. And so then it becomes like am
I willing to marshall all of my internal
resources to make that the most
important thing in my life? No, I'm not.
So like and I don't have like I'm not
squeamish about that. Like I'm not going
to do that. It doesn't it isn't
interesting to me. So once people like
really come to understand what's my
value system, what do I care about,
what's my identity, who do I want to be,
what are the actions and behaviors that
I need to do in order to live in
accordance with my identity. Um that's
when you start putting the bright lines
that make sense. That's when you're able
to get to a point where it's like, yeah,
I'm not backing off from this. And that
is the real juice.
Yeah. you know, we have a couple
upcoming guests. You know, I won't say
who obviously, but where you had the
flu. And I remember Lisa uh was
thinking, okay, well, maybe we should
cancel or reschedule. And you were like,
no, I don't cancel. I don't reschedule.
We're doing this. And I remember
thinking like, oh man, cuz I
when I have the flu, I am a baby. I shut
down, man. If I have the common cold,
I'm a baby. So, I was very impressed. I
was like, "Wow, this this and I
remember, you know, hearing you say
knowing that about you that you have
your mind set on something. If it's
something you do, you're not going to
step away." So, and yeah, you did it
that day. I don't know how you did it.
Identity. Identity. Like, and it really
comes and this is a gift I really want
people to take and make a part of their
life.
Do you know how good I get to feel about
myself for doing that? So, and that's
literally what I'm saying. like, okay,
having the flu sucks. And I remember I,
dude, I did not want to get out of bed.
And and I had one of those moments where
I'm like, whoa. Like, this is bad. This
is worse than I thought it was going to
be. And uh, how do I get going? And so I
was like, you just you put one foot in
front of the other. And sometimes in
life, that's what it comes down to. So,
I remember thinking, okay, step number
one, you know, as soon as you lift the
sheets, you're going to get that really
weird chill sensation that you and it's
unique to the flu, right? Cuz it's not
it's not even really about being cold,
but from the inside, you feel
shivery and oh, it's so horrible. And
so, I was like, okay, step one, deal
with that, right? So, put your feet on
the floor, get out from under the
blankets. Okay, here it comes. And it
was like, oh god, this sucks. And then
it was like, okay, I need to pee, right?
So just be and it was just that it was
like one foot in front of the other. One
foot in front of the other and uh yeah.
So and then the only thing that scared
me was when I was losing my voice and I
was like the [ __ ] do I do? Like I
actually can't talk. And it was
happening in the middle of the
interview. And I remember one time to
the first guest cuz we hadn't figured
out the tea thing yet.
To the first guest, I was like like I
was trying to push with my voice.
And I still can't wait to see how that
sounds because it felt so weird. And I'm
trying to be all like nonchalant casual.
I remember Sydney and I were panicking
on the sidelines. We were like, "Oh." I
was like clutching my shirt and my
invisible pearls like, "Oh god, he can't
breathe." And I was so worried. I was
like, "Oh my god." But hey, I mean, you
still powered through.
It was hilarious. Yeah, you have to,
man. It's identity. And so, I just kept
telling myself like, dude, if you deal
with the chills, if you deal with the
fever, if you do the research, if you
show up and play,
you get to feel good about that.
And it's a cookie jar moment, right? To
use Gogggins language. I was like, this
is a cookie in the cookie jar. Like, to
be able to look back and say, I did it.
And, you know, I mean, I've got Jordan
from the flu game hanging over the
fireplace, and
it's all part of my identity.
That's amazing. All right. So, a
question from Katie Germaine. So, I
think that the political system is
broken. I'm sure a lot would agree. What
do you think should happen? What do you
think will happen? And can you fix it on
the inside or staying on the outside and
being an external body of change better?
So, this was the political system is
broken. Um, so few things scare me more
than where um, I fear we're going as a
divisive nation. And there are few
things I feel less qualified to talk
about than politics.
So, you're going to see me addressing
this in creative. This is why I'm
obsessed with Brian Wood. Anybody out
there that's into comic books, look this
guy up. Uh, I I feel he really um has
just a super super important voice. And
one of the things that Impact Theory
tried to do is get the rights to his
comic book DMZ because it deals with
exactly this um a near-term future
America where we're actually in the
middle of Civil War. And so his voice I
think is is very very important and very
interesting and and would have loved to
tell stories within that universe so we
could explore like what that looks like
and um but man at the end of the day I
don't consider myself political at all.
Like I come at it from the human side.
Like I I want people to realize
divisiveness is a bad strategy. It's a
bad strategy. So like when you're trying
to come together as a group and really
like we can do a lot more as a group
that's focused together than we can um
when we're divided like accepting that
it's like a marriage like at the end of
the day think of my wife one of us is
Republican and one of us is Democrat.
That's not true but I'm just saying like
think of us that way. If that were true,
um to have a good marriage, which we'll
call being in a successful country
that's able to help its, um people
thrive and do well, uh it doesn't do me
good to heckle her, to try to trip her
up, uh to want to see her fail just so
that my ideology is the prime ideology,
right? It doesn't make sense. So like
you need to support each other and you
need to find ways to come together and
what's a common ground and where do we
make compromises that make sense and um
just yeah like that to me it seems like
the critical thing and because I am so
wholly unqualified to talk on this
subject. I will just reiterate that but
I haven't looked at it closely enough to
understand like
I guess it's because you have to get
reelected. So it's like you have to
pander to the people that can keep you
in power. So it's like ah god I I have
zero answers. I um I don't spend a lot
of even though I say like it scares me
like to see how divisive we're becoming.
I don't spend a lot of time thinking
about that cuz I think if each and every
one of us focuses on optimism, focuses
on the beautiful things that we're
trying to make come true to go out and
actually execute against those and make
them come true to help each other to do
we I mean we live in such a a world
where your access to other people and to
get your ideology out there in a
positive and uplifting way has been
democratized. So every day, you know, we
can do this kind of stuff and reach
people, help people focus on the
positive, help people empower
themselves, help people take control of
their lives, understand what they need
to do internally to be able to live the
life they want, I really think that's
the answer. And so I'm a, you know, a a
one at a time at scale kind of person.
So rather than try to fix the system,
which I I don't believe I um I am not
yet capable of doing that because I put
absolutely no energy into that because
I'm so invested and I so believe in
building ideology in the form of
narrative and giving that