Transcript
uEoXKSrvhBM • The Unexpected Power of Love | Titus O'Neil on Impact Theory
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Kind: captions Language: en people gave to me and my family and my mom and other kids in my situation when they had nothing to gain in return and that's character you know when when you can give someone something and do something for somebody and it's really not about you it's really about helping them I mean you're not expecting anything return everybody welcome to impact Geary you were here my friends because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it so our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams all right today's guest is world-famous WWE Superstar titus O'Neil he is one of the most extraordinary examples that I have ever seen that your circumstances do not determine what you can become on paper he had everything going against him he was born into extreme poverty when his mother was raped at the age of 11 and gave birth to him at 12 he was told that he would end up dead or in jail by the age of 16 and honestly in his early teens that seemed not only likely but probable he was drawn to the streets fiercely rebellious wildly disrespectful and completely out of control fortunately for him his mother sent him to the sheriff's ranch and there he began to turn his life around he poured his passions and aggressions into football and even though people told them he was too small and uncoordinated to ever play in college he graduated as one of the most decorated football players in the country with unending discipline and drive he got so good that he had his pick of schools and was ultimately offered a football scholarship to the University of Florida where he played under legendary coach Steve Spurrier his tenure was so successful on and off the field that he graduated in three years and was inducted into the University of Florida Football Hall of Fame he also went on to get his master's degree in higher education and play professional football in both the NFL and the arena football league before joining the WWE his accomplishments in the spotlight however really do pale in comparison to what he's done off the field and out of the ring in 2014 he was honored as the humanitarian of the year by the rainbow coalition in 2015 he was named celebrity dad of the year and this year the NHL team Tampa Bay Lightning named him the community hero so please help me in welcoming the man who is as comfortable on the Ted stage inspiring people as he is in the ring finishing people off the driving force behind the joy of giving charity which gives 10,000 deserving kids gifts and family services every year Thaddeus Pollard aka WWE Superstar titus o Neill thank you for joining us today thank you you are an absolute wall of humanity I cannot imagine facing you in the ring that would be pure insanity the complete tone I can imagine yeah I can imagine so talk to me about the the outfits men they are absolutely dynamite you and I were talking before we started rolling about what they mean to you what what is that all about well I mean just based on how I grew up you know I I couldn't afford nice clothes so I got picked on a lot and bullied a lot about how to clothes that I wore and always had the desire to might make a statement with fashion but I just didn't have the money and stuff to do that but as I got older I realized you know people look at you differently when you dress a certain way and your appearance means everything to some people right out of the gate I just try to represent for the job that I want and not for the job that I have I want to be able to you know beyond talk shows like this and in platforms like this where I can be an inspiration and and also draw people into just a different mindset of like what what it is to be an african-american what it is a bit african-american athlete a father all these stereotypes that come along with you know my demographic of people I kind of for a very young age I've always wanted to just dispel all those rumors what athlete acts like what a what a student athlete should or shouldn't be and I think a lot of that had to do with me just taking pride and how I looked how I felt about myself and how I treated others so walk me through it like you're clearly deeply introspective what was your internal life as a kid like when people are making fun of your clothes and you know saying that your shoes are talking in self like what is the internal story about you that's going on in your mind I mean my first result was to fight you know somebody and a lot of times it resulted in somebody talking about my mom and I just never I just never have been one to talk about anybody's mom you know it has a younger age you know sometimes kids get caught up in you know ragging on or harbored a determine nowadays as in say Dayton is offered out here but uh I didn't have a male role model at the house that can tell me teach me how to fight or teach me how not to fight my mom would just get upset just because she'd have to come out you know off her jaw which she wasn't making much money at the time waiting tables come to the school constantly because I'd either fall or customer out or you know just cause trouble and I just felt like that was the only way that I was going to be able to to keep these people from picking on me but it never stopped my mighty they'd get jumped or they just come back the next day and do the same thing so you mentioned Earth in the introduction I went to a place called a Florida Cher's Boys Ranch and it was there that I still got it two fights early all still custom people out early old Baba who you and you went I was twelve okay yeah so but there was a man there Patrick we know that just took a liking to me he was like that one of the directors at a time so when everybody else wanted to kick me off because they were like this kid just saying gonna get it whoa so even at the sheriff's ranch and were like the most troublemaking well I wouldn't say I was the most trouble awakened but I was definitely in the top five but I was also like one of the bigger kids so it's a threat there you know and I did skip his kid really got upset he could really hurt someone and so then they end up moving me to the cottage with the older kids and nobody picked on me there and they kind of taught me how to be a teenager and it helped me grow up fast you know being around kids that were more mature they still had their issues every kid that was there had issues but they were or a lot closer to understanding it's gonna take hard work discipline and and learning how to work with other people in order to get to the next level and for many of them just like myself it was gonna be a there were going to be a first time the first-generation college student some of them will be you know first time graduating from high school they come from a level of poverty or whatever so it was a good move for me it was a good good good learning lesson but also at that point I think when mr. Minogue did to me was when he told me I love you and I believe in you you know I never heard anybody come to me and tell me that and he was a stranger to me and the day after he told me that our relationship just flourish he if I was getting ready to get in trouble whatever I was the only person on campus that would be able to call him you know and he'd come out and play basketball with me he was a huge to cago Bulls fan to because he was from Chicago so we had that tie and together but he also told me something that was very critical in my way of thinking he had asked me the question you know why do you think it is that you get into so much trouble and I said man I don't know I'm just too back here you know ice all I've ever done you know and you know up to that point that's all I had been label it was a bad kid I was put in specific learning disability class OD classes and I was never dumb you know I just never applied myself and so mr. Manoel you know to me was the epitome of just genuine love and didn't matter what religion you were color I was or what background I came from he just saw something in me that made him say to me I love you and I believe in you and he didn't wouldn't tell me why he told me that there's no such thing as a bad kid he told me as I got older I'll find that out and I realized there was no such thing as a bad kid there are kids that are in bad situations around that influences making bad decisions and you take those same kids you put them in a good environment around good people and they're 9 times out of 10 have you know gonna have greater success walk me through the the mindset shift because I wanna the frame what your story seems like from the outside so I've worked in the inner cities a lot and I work with a very aggressive young man in a one-on-one sort of Big Brother situation and I was too young and dumb to really understand how to help him and so my only thing was I just want to show him things in the world because he never saw anything beautiful so I used to take him to see movies in Beverly Hills just because even though I was broke it was like movies Casas statement right so I want him to see something beautiful but I never felt like whatever was going on like whatever story or belief system he had that was making him so angry like it never changed something and I told him I love you and all of that so there was something that is either unique to you or the way that you thought or mr. Minogue and what he said but what do you remember sort of what you were thinking at the time that began to change was it a a thawing of your your anger over your situation when he said he loved you or what what was it how could you replicate that with other kids well I think every kid is different you know in every situations of your situation in with the kid that you were with he might have heard people tell him they loved him a thousand times with any turnaround and proceeded to Paul and dumb or stupid or whatever it may be and so to him that's what love was and he didn't like it so it takes a lot to try to mold that relationship just you know saying I love you it's great but and going to the movies is great but find out what his interests are you know I'm a big supporter of public education and private education but I'm not out here telling these kids go to school get a good job go to college college ain't for everybody I know people that went to college with me that were superb students and they still don't have a job today but there are some kids out there are a lot of kids out there that are very creative so what we have to do is try to find a way to take what you're good at and and find out what other person's good at and find a way to make that work because well it's interesting because you've talked so much about the power of Education and I've seen so many interviews where you're like look I'll be right I've got my education I I can I was doing something before I got into the WWE and I'll be doing something after so like what are you saying to your kids I find that's a pretty good litmus test well so we have three rules in my home the first rule is to love and respect everybody you come in contact with you're not going to agree with them you're not gonna even know like them on some occasions but you love them and you respect them number two is to be your best you know if your best is a C on the test even if it's D or F on the test I you know you can never be disappointed if you know you gave it your all and then you know number three is we don't use the word can't you know it's not in our vocabulary I was told in my entire life you'll never do this you'll never do that you can't do this you it's impossible for you to do that when you tell somebody what they can do for some people that drives them you know because you know I gonna tell me what I can or cannot do but for other people when you tell them all you'll never be able to do that like that that could be the breaking straw you know in that back for that person that's their spirit to actually go out and succeed so I never tell my kids if they come to me and they may have the most outrageous idea I'll say all right cool let's figure out how we're gonna do it I never said oh man you can't do that we in doing that because I try to live by example by them saying you know there's this whole thing with the joy given that you talked about earlier I mean we've done that for the last seven years I think on average we give them between eight eight hundred and a thousand gifts per year well so now you know I talked about like growing you know and I said it last year like I want to I want to be able to have this event so big that we have to have an Iranian Stadium and I want a football stadium to be the focal point because everybody knows where the stadium is and then I want to do it on the outside of the stadium because I want people to drive by say oh what the hell is going on over there and then they actually pull in and find out so I've gotten pretty much all the law enforcement agencies and churches and some secular organizations and and the mayor and everybody else involved in this whole thought process it's not just like the gift the gift is just a carrot it's like number one we we can do stuff together you know if you're if your agenda is to help make an impact on people's lives then it shouldn't matter if your name's at the top of the banner it shouldn't matter if you know your your gifts have certain name tags or whatever what however you want to do it they won't be wrapped we want these kids to see you're getting a good quality gift we're not just gonna hand them some stuff and say oh I happen I'll give you a teddy bear at 12 years old and you're looking I don't want to study bear and then next time you know somebody's saying you know all the kid was ungrateful well that's your impression so we want you you know you want these kids are accustomed to saying you're gonna live in this government housing you're gonna go to this school you're gonna go here and do this is all you're good enough to have I'm missing that and I want to be completely opposite not only in a sense of what kind of gift they get but then how it's presented to him with dignity and then also to we all do these things given you know baskets and we feed the homeless and feed the needy we do it around Christmastime we do these big Christmas drives but what happens the other 364 days you know these kids that are coming out there in need and Indonesia it's not gonna disappear because they got a toy or because they have food so we we have another aspect of this thing is I'm really excited about what's called engage 364 where we're taking agencies that do different support services throughout the year and inviting them to come out and present their services and we'll have a guide so that people when they leave they're oh you know I need life insurance but I don't make enough money well we got a company there's gonna give free life Michele oh yeah we have the United Way who's been big great partners with with me and you know they they have services to help people you know fill out college applications and the tests and grant forms and then do all that stuff for free but they've been doing that stuff for free year-round just some people just don't know because they don't have access to that information so we want to try to bring all these folks together and with the hopes that and we make these resources work together to really make significant change not just put a bandaid on this issue you know buying school supplies is great but what can we do to have it so that they don't have to buy as many school supplies every year you know get a sponsor to already have that in place they'll have an event where we can do a big backpack giveaway with and serve thousands of kids mm-hmm makes a lot of sense I want to go back to what you said about can't so you don't say can't your household you were told can't a thousand times as a kid and I love what you said like that one can't could be the straw that broke the camel's back for that kid and then really truly he believes it why didn't you ever break like literally reading your story on paper it's crazy man I don't know how you ever got out from under that story so what was it about you that made that you were just impossible to break well I'm super competitive so nobody's gonna tell me what I can't do and that's what you were thinking even as a kid even as a kid like I might not have been good at it I mean somebody don't you I can't sing but don't tell me I can't sing oh because I'm gonna give you my best thing it possible it's not that I can't sing it's just I don't sing well but you know I'm saying so it's like for me I always had a drive to like not prove people wrong but to prove God's right you know God said he has great plans for me and and like you know I my attachment to the homeless is that it was a homeless god he used to come out to our high school football practices and he asked you know I used to ask her did he say can I talk to you for a second oh yeah what's going on because I used to start giving him this stuff you know that we didn't use I give him the muffins or the danishes or whatever whatever we had leftover I just if you wanted it and so you know he said I just want to tell you that God's got a huge calling on your life to change a lot of people's lives and if I wanted to be a jerk at a time I mean I will why why if you so you know in tune with God why are you in the situation but I wasn't I received it and you know it was my first thought process of life if this guy's saying this to me he sees something to me but I also want to find out how he got into this situation and so I ended up asking him and he said you know if I told you that I used to be an executive living in a really nice house and beautiful wife and kids would you believe me and I said well if that's what you say then that's that's wha that's what I got to believe and he was like well that was a case but gambling drugs and alcohol took me away from my family and you never really like understand people's pain and why they are in certain situations even me with my pain and while I was feeling a certain way until you actually have a conversation and they're willing to open up and talk to you about it and you know probably a few months after meeting him you know I'd asked one of my teammates to you know kind of help him find work because they they had a pretty pretty good business there and I was doing really well they ended up giving him a job doing a place to stay and then you know next thing I know I'm moving out two years later he's running the whole southern region and he goes from being a guy that's homeless to being a guy that has a job and I god I ended up having a good relationship with through high school and I kind of helped bring this kid guys family together at 13 years old so I'm like well maybe this is what he means you know connecting people I'm a man of faith I believe in God and Jesus somebody else and their interpretation of what God and Jesus is maybe completely opposite of mine and maybe Lutheran Catholic you know Baptist whatever and they have different modes of religion and do things in a religious way well if they read the Bible the same Bible that I do Jesus walked amongst everyone and he died for everybody whether you went to the church or didn't go to the church and then from a political standpoint like it's like there's cricket people on both sides right Democrat and Republican not all of them are just like about not all police officers or bad police officers but at what point are we gonna come together and make it about people and not just people from the upper class or not just people from the lower class with just people in general because if me you and your wife are all sitting in a hospital my mom has cancer your mom has cancer your wife's mom has cancer I'll guarantee you not one time we come oh well you know are you a Democrat or a Republican you know what what church do you go to that a that's the least thing that we worried about trying to have commonality between whether or not we have shared the same religion or political background we care about we're all here for the same purpose our moms are dealing with cancer we want to do whatever we can to keep them on this earth and that connects us right so we can actually find the genuine side of who we are what we represent and whether you're a Democrat and I'm a Republican or I'm a Republican and you're a Democrat it doesn't matter because we learn each other as people and it's okay to agree to disagree and then this whole thing of like can't we all get along and with this gets thrown around all the time no we can't all get along I can't get along with a person that is a bully I can't get along with a person that's manipulative to people I can't get along with you know racist folks just I just never have and never will but I can get along with those that have a like mind I want to make change and they're all wait you've called yourself a bridge builder in the past and you've got a pretty amazing story I'd love for you to share with us about when your grandmother was dying of cancer and you were visiting her in the hospital every day and there was a pretty hateful woman tell us that story so my grandmother passed away from breast cancer in 1995 I was going to the hospice the woman that was her roommate per se um was very she was from south and you know and she was very racist you know every time I come in the room she'd say oh well that goes up boy I had to do everything I could she you know I knew I had grown because I didn't respond the way I probably should respond it has she caught me a couple years earlier but uh you know my grandmother after a few weeks my grandmother you know she reached over and pulled grab my arm and she was like you know if I if I if I have to happen to die before she does I want you to come back and see her and I'm like no ha ha ha this is just not my grandmother talking right now and so I you know it should I end up happening like three weeks after my grandmother said that my grandmother passed away and so my grandmother I saw something at a time that I didn't really understand why she was doing it but I went back and I go into this room and the lady's like like most sits up on her seat and she's just started bawling crying and this is the racist lady yes and then she was like I'm I'm so glad I got a chance to see you again I thought I'd never see you again you know I apologize for how I treated you you know I've gone to church I've done so many things you know in church I've served the homeless etc etc but I did I wasn't doing the one thing and I know that God would have approved of the most that's loving his people and then she uh she asked me if I can give her a hug and I said in my TED talk you know I was a little apprehensive about doing that because she she could have you know sank me or something like that on the side but you know I hugged her and that when I hugged her she said yeah you're like the son that I never and I'm going okay I never understand I didn't understand it at the time I'm walking out and then the ladies say you know the ladies up front they were like I was so beautiful to witness because you know essentially the reason why she has so much anger towards you was because she kind of got dropped off which it happens a lot in nursing homes or you know care centers the family dropping off and she has two daughters and the daughters just couldn't handle the scene they're you know their mom in that position and my grandmother saw that before I would have ever saw it she just saw you know an opportunity for even the hardest of hearts to be changed even in their dying days when that guy told me I love you I believe in you that changed what I thought of white people that changed what I thought of people thought of me and I even did exercise at a TED talk where I said you know take everybody take your phones out hmm and you know I want you to text anybody in your phone you can do it here too and text them exactly what I tell you to text them say I love you and I believe in you well for some people that response was I mean I told me you gonna get one of three responses number one is hey are you okay what's going on do I do something wrong you know because it's not really out of nowhere right and then the other one is you know man I really needed that you know I was having a tough day and it's good and you know it came at a good time and in a third when they gonna reciprocate what it was said to them they're gonna say to you although I love you and I believe in you too so if you could have impact on somebody that you know that way then just imagine what's going to happen when you do that to a complete stranger and it may not be I love you and I believe in you it may be to action of showing me you're worthy of nice clothes or nice pair of shoes or you're worthy of you're worthy of being able to go and enjoy a movie you know in college the more successful people of the month most of the time the people that are more well-rounded in business is the same way you know investors the more well-rounded their portfolio is nine times out of ten you know I mean you rich you know the soap so you kind of have an appreciation for what other people do and whatever the people gone through but you can be inspired on any given moment any given day just talking to people and when you decide to start being honest about talking openly about what had happened oh that in itself is such an act of courage yeah because I used to have this pretender uh-huh really yeah like there was a guy that like you know he was Santa he was my dad and but he was really never around but you believed he was your dad to a certain degree I think we all have this like the ability to like tell that something's wrong here and I call the discernment and I kind of knew I wasn't is his kid but at the same token like if he wants to step into that role that's great but the problem is him stepping in several I'm just saying he's my dad is not enough when you're not around you know you're telling me you gonna do something one minute and the next minute you're not you know that's one thing even with my kids you know I always tell them like just be 100% honest with me that the beauty in that is that every school I go to every organization I go to every parent that I talk to they're like man we love your sons they're the sweetest most humblest kids they work hard they're leaders you know all these things and that to me as a father like that's more their character and that's why I mean I wear this band you know champions leave with character and talk to me define character because the way you define it is amazing yeah so to me character is is being able to to be a champion for for cause based on not only your beliefs but your experiences because like we get taught certain things a certain way right like most intercity kids get talked oh well you need to you know make good grades so you can go to school and do this and do that but they never get taught beyond time you know show discipline show respect tolerance for others this and that but they never teach that you know and that's that's that's the character issue nobody's telling you how to be good to another person they're teaching you how to do something from a book and so for me characters being able to you know authentically live out who you really are to the best of your abilities is on a daily basis I also once heard you add to that that character is how you treat somebody when you know they can't give you anything yeah yeah you know my here my whole thing is like people gave to me and my family and my mom and other kids in my situation when they had nothing to gain in return and that's character you know when when you can give someone something and do something for somebody and it's really not about you it's really about helping them I mean you're not expecting anything return right speaking of your kids I know at one point they were playing on a football team if I'm not mistaken but they didn't keep score they didn't tell me who was winning what was your reaction to that yeah they were three and five they were playing flag football and you know I just like came it was one of like the few Saturdays that I was able to like like be there be there so I'm at the game and I see TJ score a couple touchdowns and then I see another kid score a couple touchdowns in the other team like score two or three times but all this time that this corns going on I'm not seeing like a scoreboard I just see a clock and they're playing time house so I after the game I was like man good job bro you did good your team to get him napping up all the teammates and telling the coach thank you for taking time to coach my kids etc and I was like you know what was the score of the game and TJ was like oh dad they don't keep score here I say well I'm just gonna be y'all ass game haha I mean my kids learn how to win and learn how to lose and everything that they do in life is gonna be measured by numbers you know if you go to college is based on your GPA and test scores if you want to get a job it's based on numbers you know what X years of experience and etc etc what kind of degree you had this and that if you want to go and play sports and be successful at it they're gonna look at numbers first they'll say oh he averages 31 points a game you know let's give this cheer to look everything's based on numbers and then the records you know they're not as important but the numbers are definitely important and I want my kids to learn how to lose and learn how to win and if you don't even know like what the score is and you don't know if you win it's a close game you try to keep it in your head and this and that naw look up at that scoreboard and you see you're down by three with you know three minutes left how are you gonna respond you know how are your teammates gonna respond how you gonna get them to to gather gather around and rally together in the fourth quarter in that short period of time to come from three and end up hopefully winning by one or three or five or whatever so yeah I'm not with that you know you know we just trying to teach the kids to have a good time that's not that's not how I was raised that's not how I think kids should be raised because they don't get taught how to lose you know they don't get taught how to win and win with character when with dignity and integrity your life has spanned like this incredible range from where you started to the levels of a success that you have now what does it take to be the best number one is a work ethic you got to be passionate about whatever it is that you're gonna do whether it be you know an artist entertainer sports figure political like whatever it is did you decide to do in life you have to have an extreme work ethic you gotta be willing to do stuff that other people aren't willing to do you have to respect the first thing I taught my kids when they can understand it was how to shake somebody's hand and you know for me for as an African American there were times where you couldn't look certain people in the eyes you know and you had to look down when you taught yes sir yes sir and this and that and I'm like look people in I because it shows confidence it shows that you respect yourself you respect them and it draws them into being interested and then make sure that handshakes firm you know don't shake and even kids now I mean kids eight nine ten years old and like hey man what's going on they give me a little two fingers and I'm like nah brah pushing them off right in front of their mom and dad say we're gonna try this again and I tell them this whole thing about shaking someone's hand and these are people that have been like sponsors and CEOs or whatever that their kids learned something right there and then they look at me there's like man and thank you for that and their wife and the husband like thank you for that so for me it's like you have to set the precedence of like being authentic you know we live in a very you know inauthentic world where we don't do nearly as much as we could do if we didn't have an agenda I don't have an agenda you know my only agenda is is to literally change everybody's life that I could possibly change in one way or another being authentic and being me has as literally changed my whole life because people are really starving for truth what are you what are you teaching your kids about adversity how do you want to see them handle it like obviously what you do is so physical there's such a pain threshold that you have to be willing to deal with and I'm sure you've got some pretty deep lessons about that my kids when it comes to adversity they know since Kant isn't an option they have no choice but to fight through whatever it is they have issues with because Kant is not an option it's either I will or I won't I can I know I but I will or I won't you know and that's the thing and in some cases you may try your hardest and you just don't win or you don't pass a test or you don't succeed that's part of life all right before I ask my last question where can these guys find you online they can find me at titus O'Neil WWE Facebook which I don't have any friend requests able to be pushed through but you can follow me on titus O'Neil you can get through on that one and then under 30 as Buller it's my real net the tapes book page I last question what is the impact that you want to have on the world the impact I want to have on the world to me it's simple but I know it's very hard to do I want to get people to understand like the root causes and quit putting band-aids over the issues the root cause of the justice system being a way that it is was to try to really figure out how to make that different the root cause of public education and the travesty really notice and we it bothers me that we're more willing to put money into prisons then we are willing to put money into educating people and help mental health illness which is a real thing to a lot of people even those that have gone to college and been successful I like to see our members that are served in the military a lot different and better and I like to try to have an impact of hopefully you know consolidating some of this homeless environment that we have in the country and I know I can't do that myself and my pastor used to say all the time have to Chloe used to say all the time you know we can't do everything but we can do something and so I just want to encourage everybody out there to do something guys this is definitely somebody that's going to blow your mind to me the what he really shows is how far a human life can go and how much you do not need to be defined by your circumstances it really up to you is up to you to tell your own story to define for yourself what the things in your life have meant how you meet adversity it's absolutely astonishing to think how many times that he was told no and that if I gave you his life story on paper you would say for sure this guy never goes anywhere and the fact that he is just time after time after time proving people wrong from being told that he was too small and uncoordinated to play football and yet becomes one of the most decorated all-american high school players goes on to play in college gets into the college Hall of Fame goes on to the NFL and Arena League I mean it's it's absolute insanity and even post-injury continues to play football and then goes into have an astonishing career and the WWE is a phenomenal entertainer teaching himself how to do all of that never taking no for an answer and the thing that I find most fascinating about him is he's a bridge builder and somebody that doesn't sit there and wallow and dwell in the things that went wrong or the hardships that he's had in his life he's only looking for ways to make other people's lives better and I really hope you heard and understood the part about as a 13 year old making a connection with a homeless man that ends up seeing him reunited with his whole family it's absolutely incredible there are so many tales like that as you dive into him so follow him socially watch him on the WWE and look at the stuff that he's doing philanthropic alee it will blow your mind all right guys if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care everybody thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community if you haven't already be sure to subscribe you're going to get weekly videos on building a growth mindset cultivating grit and unlocking your full potential