Kind: captions
Language: en
hey everybody welcome to another episode
of AMA live I'm your host Tom Dooley and
today I'm gonna be taking your questions
so make sure that you drop them into the
comment box and so you can get all of
your questions answered I get hit up a
lot on social and this is your chance
I'm always telling people to come here
during the AMA live so make sure that
you drop them in alright the first
question and by the way if this has
added value to your life and the past
please do share it and as we go if it's
adding value please share that'd be
amazing I mean the world to me alright
so first question is from birth Annie is
that really that's not a typo
alright burthen II do ver glass how can
I fire my family when I live with them
they don't care about my goals but I'm
obsessed with them
I want success but they tried to put a
roadblock in front of me all the time
okay so firing your family it's actually
a really interesting way to look at it
the conundrum here being of course that
you live with them at the end of the day
it's like anything I highly encourage
people to sock away enough money that
you're never behold into anybody so I
think that six months salary are sorry
six months living is a good way to think
about it so I don't know how old you are
but let's assume for a second that
you're north of 18 where this gets a lot
easier I think that being able to live
on your own is wonderful and if you can
that's great if you don't need to and
you're not in a situation like this
staying with your parents for as long as
you can to sock away as much money as
you can I think is even more beneficial
but if you're in a situation where you
need to get out at the end of the day
your family has to come second to what
it is you're trying to accomplish in
your life if you have to choose between
them I'm a big fan of the Peter
Diamandis rule that when given a choice
between two things take both so whenever
humanly possible if you don't need to
fire your family I think having them in
having that support is really wonderful
and is something that man anybody that
has and can take advantage of is
wonderful but if you're in a situation
where they're trying to stop either
holding you back they're a negative
influence on your life they've got to
come second to what it is you're trying
to accomplish and the only way that
you're going to do that by putting
distance between you is by having enough
capital that you can get out of the
house now let's assume for a second just
answer the
a hard question that you or she can't
leave and that you're stuck in the house
and that you're not going to be able to
fire your family the way that you want
you still can limit the amount of
interaction that you have with them and
most importantly you can limit the
effect that that interaction hasn't with
you has on you excuse me so the most
important thing here is to meet them
with compassion so whenever I meet
somebody that's trying to hold me back I
recognize it for what it is which is 99
times out of 100 it's insecurity on
their part it's they weren't able to
chase their dreams or they may even have
real worry for you and that it's also
from their perspective coming from a
place of compassion they don't want to
see you suffer and so if you can
understand that this is coming from a
place for them of insecurity of weakness
of not believing that people can do what
they set their minds to and that to me
is one of the greatest human tragedies
is to not believe that you can actuate
your potential and to leave that
potential on the table which is
something that I live in crushing fear
of so when I meet people that that's
their worldview that's their mindset
rather than be agitated with them rather
than be brought down by what they're
saying I actually meet that with
compassion and I have nothing but
empathy for that and I spent a lot of
time where my own family felt the same
they my worldview seemed crazy to them
they worried about me they didn't think
that I was going to be able to succeed
the way that I wanted they wanted to see
me safe and happy and unfortunately
you've got to divorce yourself from
worrying about what they think and this
this is the key I can spend time with
anybody without feeling like I need to
convince them and this is where people
get themselves into trouble they feel
like they have to convince other people
that they're right and you do not need
to convince your family you don't need
to convince anyone so you can spend time
with them let them have their belief
system meet their belief system with
compassion enjoy your time around them
learn things from them even if you guys
don't see the world the same way rather
than spend your energy and effort trying
to convince them to see that you're
right or that the way that you think
makes sense
literally that's gonna get proven out in
the wash by the way so you're either
going to succeed or you're not and
they're either gonna be right or they're
not and so worrying about whether or not
they believe in it to me is totally
irrelevant so you've got a
find a way to have the internal
fortitude the belief in your willingness
to acquire skills because first of all
depending on how old you are chances are
that they're right that right now you
really aren't capable and so rather than
spending the time convincing them that
you are capable which would probably not
spend your time gaining the skills and
then meeting them with compassion all
right next question is from sim land our
boy and about to be at impact house he
won the it was it was it the 24 hour
challenge anyway sim land won a
challenge yay and it's highly active by
the way in the social feed so Thank You
sim excited to meet you face face it's
gonna be a lot of fun all right question
is how do you maintain antifragility in
your daily routine what do you mean by
that
okay so let's define anti fragile so
first of all something that is anti
fragile is no longer defined by its
breaking point things that are tough
robust strong all of that their breaking
point is far away but they're still
defined by that breaking point so
something that is anti fragile is
something that grows stronger the more
that it's attacked so the easiest way
for me to explain this is the way that
any of you can build in antifragility
into your life which is the switch what
you build yourself esteem around from
being prideful of being smart being
right being good being valuable any of
those things which are very very fragile
because you will inevitably meet people
who are better smarter faster stronger
all of that than you are and instead of
building yourself seam around something
that will ultimately break build
yourself a steam around being the
learner which is truly anti fragile
meaning if somebody calls you stupid
they say that you're dumb you're doing
this the wrong way that you would lower
your emotional defenses you'd be willing
to take in that criticism you would
assess whether or not it's true and if
it's if it is true without any loss of
self esteem you would be willing to
stare at your inadequacies identify what
you need to do to acquire the skills in
the area that you need to acquire skills
and in order to accomplish your goal and
you would set about learning that and
your willingness to stare at your
inadequacies your willingness to learn
the new things that becomes the very
thing that you build your pride around
so really think through that for a
second if you build yourself a steam you
build your pride around being willing to
admit that your
being willing to admit that you're not
good enough and the willingness to do
that builds a sense of pride in you then
truly your self-esteem at that moment
becomes anti fragile and since you can
count on humans to do more of what makes
them feel good about themselves if the
act of learning if the act of accepting
what you're not yet good enough at so
that you can acquire the new skills if
that is the very source of your pride
that you're doing that more and more
often to feel better about yourself
you can imagine how the more people try
to tear you down the better you actually
get so that is how you become anti
fragile it's the daily routine part's
the only part that I understand so I
think that hopefully that's more or less
what you meant and there's your answer
all right Emanuel Garcia this is from
YouTube what is something that people
underestimate that they should pay more
attention to what your self-esteem is
built around really matters the
literally the thing that I just went
through that is the thing that I think
holds people back from becoming what
they're capable of becoming is they
don't realize that what you build your
self-esteem around matters for most
people this is completely invisible and
this gets into my whole notion of
invisible beliefs which by the way
reminds me of the content that I'm
creating on Alexa I did a whole thing
about invisible beliefs there if you
guys have an Amazon echo and Amazon dot
and Amazon show any of those be sure to
add me as a skill there is a daily flash
briefing that I do
so yeah do that and if by the way you're
already following their me there and you
get the daily flash briefing if you
haven't already be amazing if you went
to Amazon to review me which will help
me reach a wider audience all right
that'd be incredible so that's the thing
then you've really got to think about
that and then I'll throw another one
which is always be reading I think every
day you should be taking in knowledge
and when I say always be reading I
really mean always be learning wherever
you get it from if it's YouTube videos
if it's something like the AMA here
always be learning always be
assimilating new information ideas in
equal ideas out that's really really
important so if you want to see your
life change and get better you need
fresh ideas and this system you need to
be gaining new skills and and
yeah focus on that and your life will
progress all right next question is from
Tyrell Johnson this is on YouTube if you
were in debt let's say 15k I used to be
25 km debt so this is nice and easy and
just started a job where you have 1 K -
2 K a month in excess cash how many
you're living
would you focus on eliminating that debt
or investing into your business to grow
it or both okay so the number one rule
of investing is that when you're paying
off debt whatever your interest rate is
there that's a guaranteed return so
there are precious few things let's say
that you have three to five percent in
interest that you're paying on that
there are precious few things even the
stock market that's gonna guarantee you
a return of north of 3% especially in
today's economy so look at like what is
over the last 10 years what has one of
the index funds returned let's say that
the index fund returns less than you're
paying an interest then you're way
better off paying against that if the
index fund returns more than you're
paying in interest then actually putting
the money into the index fund and taking
the excess capital to pay off your debt
is actually a pretty good way so you
need to really look at the the most
certain gain it is almost certainly to
pay off your debt by the way giuse I can
manage precious few scenarios where you
wouldn't be better off doing that and by
the way never ever ever try to beat the
market that's just a suicide run the
chance of your company being
successfully are successful are very
very low it's awesome it's a learning
experience you're gonna try a few
finally one will hopefully hit and smash
but your surest path to success from an
investment return standpoint is almost
certainly to pay off that debt now what
would I actually do the thing that I
always did was I was paying some off on
my loan and then I was using some to
invest in my life so I would actually
split it and I would decide what that
amount whatever my minimum is I'm gonna
pay some over that and this is literally
exactly what I did to pay off my student
loans so if my minimum a let's say it
was like two hundred and fifty bucks a
month then I was gonna pay say three
hundred dollars a month so that I was
really eating into it that I was
adding to the principal payment as
you're paying down your principal
obviously the interest payment then is
less being in an interest only scenario
is you're literally just pissing money
away so find a way to chip away at that
principal balance that's really the key
and make sure that you find out from
whoever you've got that debt from
whether overpayments go immediately to
the principal or not or if they go to
the next payment so you need to figure
that out make sure that you know that
and you want to be chipping away at that
principal okay so that's what I did I
split them it was a both equation for me
and then also I'm a big believer in
starting your side business while it's a
side business so that you have a way
that you're earning income from your
primary Jo B and then you're clocking
nights and weekends to build the
secondary thing so that I'm not losing
my extra cash flow and by the way like
let's really get into this
there are ways for you to make money
that don't actually cost a lot of money
so drop shipping being an affiliate
things like that you can actually make
money without a lot of infrastructure
obviously it's not going to be as much
money as you could make if you were
making your own product but that takes a
lot of capital outlay so there are ways
to build businesses that require very
little cash from you they require time
but they don't necessarily require
capital so I would do something like
that like that's the real world and I
rarely talk about this but there were so
many side businesses that I tried and
they failed affiliate marketing and
things like that I did a dating web site
at one point it's actually not true I
did a website that reviewed dating
websites so things like that there are a
lot of hustles that you can do that even
if they fail a didn't put much if any
capital into them and it's going to be
your MBA as you do it so you learn more
from your failures than you do from your
successes all right next question is
from Lester Vysya this is Facebook do
you think it's sensible to be
temporarily successful at a job you
currently don't love in order to get
into a path career you're passionate
about or is it better to just drop
everything and dive into a new chapter
all right these questions always scare
me I would need a lot more details to
know if you're totally delusional which
by the way is very probable or if you're
actually onto something now the reason
that I say that is I think most people
make the assumption
that they need to earn a living doing
something that they don't like because
that's just the way of the world and
that somehow that's going to lead to the
thing that they really do like now I
learned the hard way that that actually
isn't true and that the struggle is
guaranteed the success is not so you
might as well struggle at doing
something you really believe in now
there are many many companies out there
that I think are amazing and doing
things in a really tremendous and
incredible way so finding one of those
companies and going to work for them and
by the way being willing to relocate so
not just looking in your backyard but
looking all over wherever you have a
visa to work so for those of you in the
u.s. you got 50 states I don't know I
don't think we have any agreements with
any foreign countries that would let you
go over in a visa waiver kind of way but
certainly in the EU you do you can
travel all over the EU at least for a
little while longer and then Britain is
leaving you but there are a lot of
places that you can go a lot of
companies out there doing things the
right way start interviewing the
companies as hard as they're
interviewing you I think that's really
important finding out if your values
align that's a big deal which actually I
think plays more into your ability to
enjoy that job then just like is it an
industry that you really care about but
look at the entire ecosystem by the way
around the things you're passionate
about there's a lot of different ways to
enter into a world that you could be
really excited about it doesn't just
have to be like let's take being sports
if you love sports you don't have to
just play sports you don't have to just
coach sports you could be an accountant
for a sports team and then you're still
around that thing that you care about so
there are many many ways to get into
that but I really think people need to
make the demand that they make a living
doing the thing that they care about and
that they're certainly at an absolute
minimum in the universe of things that
they care about like being an accountant
before a sports team okay so next
question is from Carolina Wilk Tom what
do you think about persuasion that's
capitalized and what psychological tips
can we use to improve any business
acumen okay so I think the persuasion is
massively important
I want to differentiate between
bullshitting persuasively and being
persuasive so I really believe that in
today's hyper-connected world the best
way to be persuasive is to have
something that is real to you something
you really believe in something that you
know to the core of your being will make
people's lives better because I think
that is highly monetizable in today's
world build that thing either as your
own entity or in another company and
being able to paint that vision being
able to explain it understanding
psychology enough understanding the
brain understanding things like Dan
Ariely book predictably irrational
understanding the behavioral economics
of any situation I think is really
really important and feeds into really
being able to be persuasive but at the
end of the day just bullshitting people
effectively I think is is a very
short-term way so if I read your word
persuasion as being that I think that
it's absolutely horrific but in terms of
business acumen
I actually think persuasion and business
acumen are very very different and I
think that being persuasive if you have
business acumen is a wonderful collision
especially if you're building something
that you really care about you know is
gonna help people's lives but business
acumen is really like how do we turn a
profit how do we build teams and in that
there are people that need to be the
front man that need to be persuasive and
then people that not necessarily and
maybe there are far better at executing
so really understanding what skillset
you want to build for yourself will
determine whether you need to be
persuasive or you need to focus on
business acumen or you need to do both
so for instance to be the CEO I think
you need both
I can imagine scenarios where actually
can get away without that but for the
most part I'll say that it will serve
you very very well so ultimately you're
in a much more powerful position if
you're both persuasive and have business
acumen right any so I'll go back because
it was actually any psychological tips
you can use to improve any business
document business acumen I would say
specifically is just learning the
principles of business so far less
psychological tips which only really
applies to like teams marketing but
there are whole elements
that have very little do with
psychological tips all right next
question is from Daniel Brees on
Facebook Tim Grover says that when
you're the guy at the top you show
others how to act you shouldn't try to
fit in what if you're working on getting
to the top should you act and even dress
as if you're already there kind of took
a hard right turn there so dress for
self-expression and psychological impact
meaning when I was coming up I dressed
really well that was important to me I
always wanted to look nice I always
wanted to be one of the nicer dress
people I didn't want to be like way out
of hand I didn't come in in a tuxedo or
a suit I knew nobody else was gonna be
in a suit but I never wanted to be
middle of the road to underdressed as
I've gotten successful on the other hand
now I dress just as a form of
self-expression I try not to be
inappropriate for the event but I far
prize self-expression far more than I do
being on the upper end of dressy so I'll
roll up in a business I mean literally
dressed exactly like you guys see me on
camera every time about the dressiest I
ever go is if you see me on stage that's
that's about it so I'm still wearing
underneath my self signaling impact
Theory t-shirts which by the way you can
get it shopped at impact Theory calm you
know my obsession with self signaling
going back to what I was saying about
doing things and selling things you
think will actually make people's lives
better that's what it's all about
today's shirt is grit which hopefully
you all have at the center of your
absolute existence and then get that
shirt to remind yourself and to tell
other people what you're all about so
yeah I would say be on the upper end of
dressed up as you're coming up in the
game ultimately it doesn't really matter
that much what really matters is being
really [ __ ] good and at the end of
the day if you dress like a slob and
you're an absolute murderer at your job
you're gonna keep moving up that's just
the truth man like skills overcomes
everything there's no reason to dress
like a slob and make it harder for
people to recognize your talent better
to be neutral to positive in your dress
and then crush it in the job and nothing
will hold you back all right
next question Katy mostella a that's
quite the name hi Tom you've recently
acknowledged needing become a better
manager is it is there a tool or
resource
aside from Ray Dalio those principles
you're taking away my tools
that you were utilizing to help you grow
those skills so appreciate all the
content you and your team put out Thank
You Man
or thank you milady I guess that's like
a really horrific thing that's like a
meme in and of itself Thank You Katy how
about that would make it nice and simple
other than radios principals what am i
doing to be a better manager so because
I know what good management looks like
I'm actually not doing anything other
than trying to make my skills better
there so let's walk through what
actually makes a good manager so that
you'll know what you need to be
improving even if I'm going to fail you
and giving you the tools to do that
number one good managers are really
focused on their team good managers are
focused on facili facilitating their
team not in micromanaging their team
good managers are creating career paths
for people good managers are
communicating expectations good managers
are holding people to an incredibly high
standard and good managers are leading
by example but if you really think of a
manager as somebody who's meant to coach
and facilitate so think of a football
coach whether that's American football
or European soccer doesn't matter it's
the same idea the coach is not going out
onto the field to play but they have to
make sure that their team understands
their jobs that they have practiced that
they've built in the skill set that they
need to go out and execute at the
highest level there needs to be a
massive amount of clarity there needs to
be a lot of work done by the coach so
that everyone is set up to succeed and
and I think at the end of the day like
if I had to sum it all up in one
sentence a manager's job is to set their
team up for success that's it all the
things from making sure that people have
that clarity to making sure that
everybody's focused on the same thing to
making sure the interpersonal conflicts
are dealt with making sure that the
culture of the company is alive and well
in that small segment making sure that
everybody knows what the company is
building towards those are all the
things that a manager has to get good at
and the thing that I really had tried to
divorce myself and I think very
only so is getting into like the
interpersonal things that people are
struggling with that really takes up a
lot of time and management and just like
really helping people get along like my
real fantasy was just talking to the
team here about this this morning my
real fantasy is just be surrounded by
people that are so beyond hungry for
success that all I have to do is create
the lane for them to go and crush it and
to protect them from distractions from
the outside world and to set an example
that's what I want to do but the reality
is humans are far more complicated than
that and that it it is inevitable that
there are going to be times that they're
struggling with something and they
really need somebody to hand hold to
walk them through that and it's pretty
powerful to know that you can lean on
somebody and that they're gonna help you
do that and and I think that really
great managers and quite frankly really
great leaders they do that and so that's
something that I've really begun to
switch my focus to making sure that the
team really not only has a path of how
to move forward not only has the
standards but also in those moments
where they really need somebody to walk
them through something that somebody's
there receptive that sets up the
environment so that that can be
facilitated and then the ultimate thing
that everybody in a company needs to do
and that is prioritize truth and coming
to understand what you're really like
not what you wish you were like and now
this is me leaning on radios principles
but not what you wish you were like but
what you're actually like today in this
moment it can always change you can
always get better but what do you really
like in this moment I think a great
manager makes that helps people realize
the truth of where they are
and that's hard that is not something
people want to hear man people want to
be blind to who they are and it's
terrifying you should want to know the
truth so you can actually improve all
right next question is from Alex Greene
what are your macros and daily calorie
limit when not on a keto diet do you use
any of the calculators online to
determine calorie intake or some other
method I used to I used to weigh all of
my food I used to be really like
hardcore about what my macros were and
all of that but I've been in this game
now for about 15 years so it is so easy
for me to dial up or
down my eating because I eat so
consistently so rather than give you my
macros which I don't track rather than
giving you my calories which I don't
track I will just tell you exactly what
I eat on a since you asked a non keto
day so in fact day is a non keto day so
it looks like this first of all I tried
to i'm not going to what I would call
full intermittent fasting but I'm
allowing 12 to 13 hours between my last
meal the day before my first meal the
next day and true intermittent fasting
up stays about 16 hours so not crazy far
off so I eat my first meal pretty late
and my first meal right now when I'm
high protein would either be chicken
breast and say some eggs or what I did
today will be two bags of quest protein
chips and one of the quest protein cups
so not a full pair they come in pairs
but one and that's a meal and then if
I'm getting really hungry between that
meal and my next meal which today I
won't because I'm shooting content which
takes a lot of my time energy and focus
so I don't even think about food I would
have a bowl of vegetables and those
vegetables would be carrots sugar snap
peas olives and radishes and so it's a
very small bowl it's not a whole lot but
just enough if I'm getting hungry and I
found myself being distracted I'll I'll
put those vegetable that small bowl of
vegetables in then my next meal is half
of a double king fat burger so that's a
pound of pre a pre cooked pound of beef
no bun obviously no sauce
other than mustard I cut that in half
and that has meat and cheese no bacon
and so that will be my meal number two
and then if I want again I'll do another
small bowl of vegetables and then my
third meal is going to be a repeat of
the meal before that so it would be the
second half of my burger and then my
final meal would be a bowl of vegetables
the same bowl of vegetables that I
described earlier and the second half of
that peanut butter cup duo and that's
what I eat for the day so there you have
it that's a that is a high protein day
for me
my Kido days look a little bit different
but you asked specifically for high
protein but he did ask for macros and I
didn't give you any of those but one
thing you will notice is - vegetables I
don't intake carbohydrate all right next
question is from Edgar Britax it's not a
typo wow man he is committed to
consonants all right how do you shut
down the anxious inner critic is it best
to become friends with it in your head
okay this is amazing question I'm gonna
go through this as quickly as I can I
talk a lot about anxiety so there are
other ama's where I've talked a lot
about this in fact we have one called
how to cure anxiety so if you want to
really in-depth one you can go watch
that one but here's the brief breakdown
a there's two things at play there's
biology and there is your mindset so
first of all let's talk about biology
cuz not very often talked about I'm
going to guess this is sadly a guess but
it's based on things that I've read that
the microbiome is going to play a
massive role in your anxiety levels and
potential depression levels so focusing
on getting your diet right is probably
one of the biggest things you could do
second I think exercise is a massive
impact on anxiety so getting those right
like those two things I hate to say
because neither of them are really fun
on the surface but doing those two
things is probably half the battle the
other half of the battle is mindset so
the negative voice in your head I
actually think can be beneficial if you
know when to listen to it when to ignore
it if the negative voice in your head is
right then you should listen to it now
remember you're something like five
times more likely to believe negative
[ __ ] then you are positive [ __ ] so you
have to like balance that out but it
really may be pointing out a hole in
your game it may be exaggerating it but
if it's saying like I had this unending
sense when I was saying I have no
interest in being a manager or like I
just want to be a leader
I had this unease around that every time
I said it so that negative voice may be
pointing out something that is very real
so listening to that if you're not good
at something in the voice saying hey you
really don't know what you're doing here
you really may not and so taking the
time to go learn about that would be a
great response to that voice obsessing
over it letting it beat you down letting
it diminish your sense of confidence or
your sense of self that is a bad idea so
that's where you really have to
understand one even if it's right don't
spend too much time listening to it so
let's ballpark that at 20% and then if
it's wrong then we need to ignore it so
we look at it we assess
is this right or wrong okay yes it's
right awesome you've got a growth
mindset no problem we'll listen to that
we'll go acquire the skills if it's
wrong on the other hand then you need to
ignore it so if it's just like heckling
you you're not good enough you're not
worthy like all of those like permanent
state judgments on yourself you need to
get rid of those so those are gonna be
times you're absolutely going to want to
ignore the negative voice so I don't
think of it so much as making friends
with it I think of it as leveraging any
utility that it may have all right so
that's the short answer if you want a
longer answer again we have an AMA
titled how to cure anxiety go check that
out like the first 10 minutes or
something of the episode it's all about
anxiety all right next question is from
Mindy sabes Thanh hey Tom and impact
Theory team I find myself at I find
myself at times asking myself if I
really want my future goals very
interesting does this questioning mean I
am impatient for my goals or that my
goals are not what I actually want or
something entirely different altogether
so first of all I think that it's
healthy to question yourself I don't
think you should try to silence that
voice and I think that checking in with
yourself just to make sure that you
haven't gotten on some path and you're
just marching down it blindly because
you set that path you know 10 years ago
or whatever and you just going going
going I think it's actually good so
revisiting that not being afraid to
question it not being caught up in Dogma
that if things changed and you no longer
want that that is very okay to
acknowledge that to pivot and do
something else at the same time just
because you asked the question doesn't
mean that you're not still on balance
really in love with your doing there are
days that my life sucks and there are
days I don't want to be doing what I'm
doing and on those days I wouldn't be
surprised on those days definitely some
percentage of the time I wouldn't be
surprised if it's even a majority of the
time on the days where I really am not
enjoying what I'm doing that I asked
myself is this the right thing am I
really doing what I want to be doing is
either the grand vision the right vision
or is this part of the path the right
part of the path and I think gut
checking yourself and coming back to
whether or not on balance that big thing
that you're chasing that you're pursuing
your real mission not the path the
mission if the mission still excites you
if the mission excites you then keep
going and just you know take the the
questioning for what it is which is a
gut check
got your answer and move on so yeah I
wouldn't be tense about that at all all
right next question is from Joe
Strathearn Facebook I'm having a problem
getting myself into the abundance
mentality as written by Stephen Covey
the idea that there is enough in this
world for everyone to succeed and be
happy
I find myself often being very cynical
and every time I have an idea someone
has already done it or is doing it
better than I can when I see others
become successful I feel as though
there's less of a chance for me to do
the same how can I overcome that all
right everybody lean the [ __ ] in right
now because we're gonna talk about the
only thing that matters fulfillment is
what matters
it is a neuro chemistry state the game
that you're playing is not success it is
not money
it is not legacy it is neuro chemistry
it's feeling good about yourself right
now today in this moment now the
absolute foundational building block to
fulfilment is progress now it I don't
mean progress in worldly pursuits I mean
humans are an active species that are
absolutely designed to learn adapt and
grow we are the ultimate adaptation
machine now when nature wants us to do
something it incentivizes that thing
with pleasure so if we're the ultimate
adaptation machine designed to learn
grow and get better then it's going to
make that process intensely pleasurable
now what it doesn't incentivize is the
obsession over where other people are
whether or not we have unique ideas
whether or not we're valuable none of
that is going to bring you joy okay as
they say comparison is the thief of joy
so hey if you really want to [ __ ] with
yourself jump in the Instagram feed and
look how other people are crushing it
and obsess over that if on the other
hand you want to really have a deep and
lasting sense of fulfillment jump in the
Instagram feed find people that motivate
and inspire you to be a better version
of yourself not to attain worldly
success but to actuate your potential to
ask yourself a very simple question what
is it that I am excited by what am i
motivated by what Jazz's me
regardless of whether or not a jazz is
anybody else up and now I'm gonna go get
good at that thing and that progress is
the foundational building block of
happiness now if you want to really push
it a level gaining a skill set that not
only serves you in a selfish manner but
can help other people
that's the real juice that's techne the
ancient Greek notion of getting a skill
set that was very hard to acquire that
is unique to you and lives in service of
other people I'm telling you that's the
[ __ ] juice and now the great news you
live in a world where that can actually
be turned into a business it can be
monetized you can build something
massive and huge and amazing that
simultaneously is an awesome business
totally for profit allows you to
facilitate all your dreams and did all
of that while living in service of other
people so you can do it
at Qwest we were trying to end metabolic
disease at impact here I'm trying to
pull people out of the matrix that
really truly those are the things that
motivate me the money is amazing the
money helps the money allows you to
facilitate also allows you to do cool
[ __ ] for yourself and anybody that tells
you that you can't be selfish to do cool
[ __ ] for yourself is bullshitting like
that is the human experience we live
life through this body they're gonna be
rad things you want to do for yourself
they're gonna be rad things you want to
do for the people really really close to
you and then there are hopefully also
going to be if you really want to be
fulfilled rad things you want to do for
the greater world they do not have to be
mutually exclusive so jump in on that
that's the game of fulfilment can also
lead to worldly success but if you're
focused on the worldly success you're
begging for misery alright next question
is from Jake
Della's Ari when you were a teenager
where did you work were there ever days
that you were scared that things
wouldn't work out in the future what do
young teens have to keep in mind when
working a way when working away at
minimum-wage jobs who want their futures
to be a success alright I love this
question because every job I had as a
teenager was a joke
so let me walk you through but a
smattering I was the guy that ran the
batting cages so when you came in I fed
the balls into the machine and dodged
the balls by the way cuz this was I was
at one where I was just behind a little
net and every now and then the net would
rip and the ball would come screaming at
your head
I was a guy at a shooting range yes a
gun range that when you said pull I was
a guy that flung those little pigeons
clay pigeons out into the air I worked
in a door Factory I worked in a paint
factory I worked in a paint store I
worked in a paint warehouse I worked in
a library or else that I work I worked
in a tutoring center although I can't
swear that I had that job when I was
still 19 that may have been when I was
20 just to be really specific but there
you go nothing that was like wow these
are careers and I'm gonna do so well
when I was really young I actually never
worried that things would work out I was
just dumb enough to just totally take
for granted that I was going to be
successful it wasn't until I was in my
early 20s that I realized holy [ __ ] I'm
gonna fail and my life is gonna be a
total empty void of failure and I spent
many years there and it was not pleasant
that was my my years of being the king
of remedial jobs or I had no idea how
he's gonna going to make my dreams come
true I felt totally lost in flirting
with depression it sucked and virtually
all of the content that I make is
designed to be the things I wish I had
known when I was in that phase because I
finally did make my way out of it
through a lot of hard work through
learning a lot and being willing to just
do more than other people but not where
I started so there you go all right next
question violet zdenka YouTube what's
the best way to interest a fixed mindset
person in developing their mindset
violet I implore you don't try to change
people's minds so if somebody wants out
of a fixed mindset and they want to be a
growth mindset a person they're asking
you how they do it by all means give
them every answer in the world otherwise
meet people with compassion where
they're at be you do you and feel for
people struggle understand that it is a
waste of time and energy to try to
proselytize and pull them out of that
you will seem like a total jerk nobody
wants to be preached to and that is
exactly what you will sound like your
only hope of actually reaching them is
just to live your life and hope that
over time they see whoa
that you're getting more and more
fulfilled they will not be impressed by
you rising up in the world in fact they
may resent it what they will be moved by
is if you are fun to be around if you
make them feel better about themselves
when they're around you than when
they're not and in that they will lower
their guard they will feel connected to
you and over time they may realize wow I
want a little bit of whatever this is
this thing that like makes you fun to be
around this thing that makes you a joy
you being excited like all of those
things then watching you be a radiant
light as cheesy as that sounds like if
they feel that when they're in your
presence that is your only shot but over
time they may finally come and ask what
did you do how is it that you think but
just focus on for your own sake tapping
into your excitement being in love with
what you do getting better at it and
then hope that that's that's an example
and then there will be people that come
to you and they already want a growth
mindset and they just don't know what to
do and they'll come and you can answer
but the one of the hardest things in
life that we all have to embrace is
people that we love and care deeply
about are going to suffer and they're
going to suffer needlessly because
they're making choices that only
compound the suffering in their life
there's nothing that you can do to help
them other than to be that light so
there it is don't try to preach man all
right next up Julianna Gutierrez what
are your current challenges in reaching
your current goals wow that is a huge
question let's see how fast I can give
you some of the big ones okay so right
now we want to be a film studio so to
pull people out of the matrix I believe
you have two options one you can speak
directly to them that's why I do these a
mas I think that there are people out
there that already want to growth
mindset they just need the path and I'm
giving you everything that I know about
that and hopefully that will help on
your journey so that's one I think that
that speaks to a very narrow band of
humanity and so the other way that I
address pulling people out of the matrix
at scale which is what I care about that
is the very mission of my life is you
have to get into the cultural belief
system now what is the most profound way
to get into the cultural belief system
narrative there's plenty of research on
this it talks about humans as meaning
making machine
how narrative is really how we connect
how symbology are the ways that we are
able to come together in very large
flexible groups so I knew that I was
going to be in those areas now I believe
that dealing in cultural beliefs is a
multi-generational approach so that
means it's gonna take a very long time
and you probably won't impact the first
generation a whole lot a little bit but
as Geoffrey Canada said you have to give
up on adults I don't want to go that far
but I don't think that like we're gonna
create some utopian society in the next
20 years I think that you have impact on
the parents the parents didn't have
impact on the kids and then the kids
begin to take it for granted and they
pass on that take it for granted to
their kids so that's how I look at this
I think that it is a very big task and I
think that creating a utopian society is
probably I don't like to limit myself
but it's probably total delusion so I
don't spend a lot of time thinking there
I just think how can I pull as many
people out of the matrix as humanly
possible at scale and then hopefully
that has some kind of long tail positive
knock-on effect now what are the things
that stand in that way the things are
that making movies and TV shows are
incredibly expensive so how do you build
up the credibility and I have a plan but
AI don't know that the plan will work
that's why this is called impact theory
and not impact machine by the way which
we actually did debate between the two
but since I'm always willing to change
my mind its theory so we've got our plan
which is to start with comic books build
community around comic books leverage
that to maintain some of the
merchandising rights as we move into
film or TV and then create entire
ecosystems around that using the Disney
total merchandising strategy as a model
which is one of the reasons that one of
the first things that we started selling
more t-shirts I think that we need to
get good at merchandising I think that's
a core competency that we're gonna need
to have and that brings me to another
problem which is that I believe that the
world is moving to print on demand but
print on demand technology as of right
now sucks and it lingers behind screen
printing so now what we have to do is
use the print on demand technologies to
identify
what shirts people really give a [ __ ]
about and then bring inventory in-house
so that our highest sellers are things
that we hold inventory up so that we can
give you the highest quality product but
that still forces us to take risks which
means that we have to move much more
slowly and much more carefully
whereas the moment somebody develops
print-on-demand technology that is
absolutely amazing and I've thought
about ghada's is something that we
should develop as a core competency I
don't think the answer is yes I think
that that would spread our focus too
thin but if somebody did that then I
think that we would be able to move a
lot faster in our merchandising goals
than we are right now
so that is but a few many many things
stand in the way of that including how
do you find like for instance we're
working on a project right now which I'm
really excited I cannot wait to unveil
to you guys but it's gonna be our first
comic book it is with a celebrity super
amped about it and we need a writer and
we need an artist and my hope in the
beginning was that hey I would just be
able to put this out into the world but
the reality is that getting to people
that are at the talent level that we
need takes either a far bigger audience
than we have or crowdsourcing it isn't
going to work because the people with
that level of talent are already getting
paid somewhere so they're not out there
looking I still hold out hope for that
but that that will play out in time
alright I can feel that I would go on
forever I worried that that's not
universally interesting so I will stop
there next question is from Daniel D
Elia Facebook hey Tom have you ever
started training Brazilian jiu-jitsu
since you had for us a hobby on your
show I did exactly one session with
Frost hobby it was amazing and I walked
away from it a injured and be asking
myself am I willing to dedicate the
amount of time to this that it would
take to get good and the answer was no
but I really did enjoy it and in an
alternate universe
after meeting for us I did go on to
really start studying Brazilian
jiu-jitsu
but that is not this reality and so it
purely is a question of time so yeah but
I will say for us is amazing and the
fact that I've gotten to roll with Frost
is pretty cool and that guy was so
gentle and so kind and so generous
was just really really neat but even in
that at one point I realized that I'm
not gonna just make believe I'm actually
gonna try to like get away from him
because I trusted him so much that even
though obviously he could snap me in
half literally snap me in half that he
wouldn't and so that empowered me to
really try to escape and that's when I
hurt myself but nonetheless it was a
really really cool experience just not
something I'm gonna dedicate the time to
all right Aaron Hahnel Facebook how do
you see social media impacting our world
in the future helpful or hurtful man
this is like any other tool so you can
use it like a douche bag and a total
jackass or and that goes both ways both
as a creator and a consumer or you can
use it to really do something incredible
so I put a ton of energy I put so much
energy into the social content that we
put out there if it has my [ __ ] name
on it it's actually me so let me tell
you how tempting it must be for other
people because I'm actually not tempted
to do this but it must be insanely
tempting on like an Instagram post to
just like do the first thing that comes
to your mind and like that really simple
thing and man I'm really trying to go a
level deeper so if my image has a quote
on it that's like really true and super
powerful but also very trite I'm gonna
try to really give you what's going on
below that in the caption now recently
and I don't want to give away all my
secrets but recently I wrote this really
long breakdown so I put a trite comment
out on the image and I put it because
it's true which was don't try to be all
things to all people not supertrike cuz
you've heard it a thousand times but
it's actually true so in the the writing
session which I'm blanking on what
that's called I went into detail about
why that's true and I gave I don't know
four or five bullet points that for
anybody that gives a [ __ ] about
marketing hopefully that really added
value to people's lives and at the end
of it I said hey if you read all the way
to the bottom of this and this is the
secret I was talking about not wanting
to give away if you've read all the way
to the bottom of this hit me with a wink
in the commets because I really want to
know like our people just skimming are
they just looking at the image and they
roll on by or do I have some subset of
people that follow me that actually want
to get better I was astonished
Shah's it was north of 85% I was really
shocked
so one I'm totally honored and surprised
just super-stoked
that people are really reading this
trying to get value out of it so when I
look at social me