Kind: captions
Language: en
what's up everybody sorry for the slow
start we are doing things a little bit
differently here I'm in New York which
has already been an amazing trip I can't
tell you guys how incredible this has
been and by the way for anybody that's
watching on YouTube I do fear that we
may have started a done a false start a
little bit earlier my apologies
like I said we're here totally new set
up but behind me is the glorious skyline
of New York and I'm super excited to be
here came on an amazing trip to figure
out how to tighten the business model as
we move forward with the creative with
the comic books all that stuff and this
trip has been unbelievable so very
excited about that and by the way it
goes with today's theme which hopefully
is going to tie to our first question
but it goes with the theme of the fact
that you are average my friends is a
glorious glorious gift and the reason
that I say that is because you don't
need to be exceptional when you start at
anything you have to get exceptional and
becoming exceptional is the key and I
find that people that really embrace the
fact that they're starting from a
position of being hopelessly and
wonderfully average those are the people
that really understand what you have to
do in terms of skill acquisition so with
what we're doing with the comic books
first step is understanding that I don't
know nearly enough and I need to put
myself in a position where I can learn
relentlessly figure out why I'm about to
fail so that I can actually figure out
how not to fail but the first step in
the process once you have a dream so I
have the dream I have the vision I know
which direction I want to go I'm going a
hundred miles an hour and now I want to
figure out what exactly is going to
cause me to fail what are gonna be all
the problems along the way and if you
can really embrace that if you can
accept your hopelessly average that
there's nothing about you that's special
it's gonna make you focus on how do you
become special how do you figure it out
how do you solve a problem that other
people don't think is solvable and that
really is the key and that's why I've
been here in over the last two days I've
literally been sitting in just hours and
hours and hours worth of meetings trying
to figure out all the ways that
something could go wrong and then that's
gonna help me identify what are the
skills that I'm gonna have to require
what are the problems and I'm gonna have
to solve in order to get around that
and I've just found most people are not
willing to stare at that most people so
protect and so covet that sense of
feeling good feeling strong feeling
bright smarter than most that they
cannot allow themselves because their
ego is so fragile
they cannot allow themselves to actually
stare at all the ways that things could
go wrong all the things about themselves
that are not good enough all the ways in
which they're weak and not powerful
being able to do that is in and of
itself the superpower it is the thing
you have to learn to do it and look you
guys have heard me talk a lot about it
it it is the number one thing you have
to do from an ego perspective is find a
way to get your self-esteem to generate
your pride out of your willingness to
look at that stuff and after the first
meeting yesterday one of the people that
was with me turned to me and said wasn't
that scary and what they meant was
basically they're thinking of me as
having this vision and that the vision
is what matters to me and that anything
that might crack that vision is going to
be scary and the reality is to me living
in that bubble living with the
excitement around my vision that scares
the [ __ ] out of me and the reason that
that scares me is because I know somehow
someway it is wrong
no one ever guesses right out of the
gate and then that ends up just being
the right answer so you've got to be
willing to actively seek out the ways in
which you're wrong all right now further
ado let's jump into the first question
this one comes from Qian Fitness via the
connect inbox and he says when I'm
working really hard on my dreams and
goals I still have this annoying feeling
in the back of my mind that I'm too
small for what I'm trying to achieve I
keep buying into the belief that I can't
achieve what the entrepreneurs I admire
have achieved because I'm just me
hopelessly average and I'm not capable
of getting to that level how can I get
past this is that thought belief coming
out of fear so definitively it's coming
out of fear and it's really coming out
of fear of being average and I think
that there's something innate in us that
actually prizes people who are naturally
talented at something and that that is
the most sexy narrative that any of us
could have is that we're naturally were
born for something we were gifted with
something that other people just don't
have and that thing is what makes us
special and think
that we were blessed with that and that
other people don't have it and that's
why we reign supreme over them and that
is such a fragile and weak stance to
take that anybody who tries to adopt
that they are going to live a life of
crushing fear and paralysis because the
reality is human beings are not born
exceptional human beings are born a lump
of flesh that literally cannot survive
you could lay an infant next to a bottle
of milk and it will still starve to
death while [ __ ] on itself so let
that sink in that's where people start
that's where we all start now if you can
embrace that and say what makes me
exceptional is simply I was born a human
humans are designed to adapt the very
thing that makes us the apex predator
the the most dominant species the world
has ever seen is that we start more or
less blank not entirely I get it we have
predilections we're wired for certain
things we get easy wins in one way that
somebody else might not get but we're
more or less able to adapt in any
direction that we want to go that is the
thing that makes this extraordinary now
what we do with that potential is really
the only question that matters
so right now you aren't capable of the
things that the entrepreneurs that have
done things that you admire have done
you're not capable of that and so what
it comes down for you is are you willing
to go out and acquire those skills are
you willing to put in the work to
actually get good at those things are
you willing to stare naked ly at your
inadequacies once you're willing to do
that then you become unstoppable if
you're actually willing to put in the
work but most people get caught up in
the ego they're so amped by their vision
of themselves that they never stop and
actually look at the fact that they're
not executing that they're not becoming
like those entrepreneurs or whatever it
is that they're trying to do and they
get caught up in this cycle of fear and
instead of addressing the core problem
which is entirely skillset okay let that
sink in the problem is entirely skillset
it's not that your average it's that you
don't have a skill set so being average
isn't the problem being incapable of
something is so going down the path of
actually getting good so focus on that
that that is at all times my advice to
people is to focus on acquiring the
skill set that you need to execute
against your dreams period when you hold
yourself accountable to that you're
gonna crush it all right next question
comes from seme land this
the guy that won the 24-hour contest
that we held last year showed up at the
house this last week he was amazing and
is everything that is right about this
community it was so much fun to get to
meet him super cool dude and his
question is what painful past life
experience would you like to go through
again just to embed the lesson learned
into your mind I don't know that there's
anyone that I would want to do again
pain is amazing it's wonderful and it is
as Ray Dalio would say and unfortunately
I'm not pointing to Ray Dalio but I am
pointing to somebody who is deep in his
world who shares my love for principles
as Ray Dalio would say pain plus
reflection equals progress some part of
me wishes that we didn't need to go
through the pain some part of me wishes
that pleasure burn things into your mind
as powerfully as pain but it doesn't so
going through the painful experiences
really is incredibly incredibly powerful
but there isn't anything in my life that
I'm like hey I want to go through that
again the fact is the reason that I
remember it is because it was painful
and so the pain was exactly what I
needed in order to burn it into my
nervous system in order to not make
those mistakes again so I'll give you
some of the powerful lessons that I had
to learn in in very painful ways so
wanting to be right thinking that I'm
good and smart and all of that that
really was one of those things that over
a very long period of time brought me so
close to depression that I knew that I
never wanted to be there again and it
was feeling like I was a sham feeling
like I was full of [ __ ] and not knowing
how to break into the film industry like
that was paralyzing and I thought that
you either were good or you weren't and
so when I made my final pieces film at
USC which should have been the highlight
of my career up to that point I should
have just looked at it as a breathtaking
learning experience but instead it made
me feel worthless and it made me feel
like I didn't have any talent and so
that was so uncomfortable and so painful
that that really echoed through my life
for years and years until I learned how
to really frame that so while I don't
want
you go through that again it really
taught me the most fundamental lesson
which is to embrace that we're all
hopelessly average and that the reality
that we need to face is it's all gonna
come down to your willingness to acquire
those skills so that's one of the most
potent all right now next question is
from rusty paying this comes from
Facebook it said that the way you are
thinking now won't work for where you
want to be so how does one break the old
thinking and replace it with new
thinking to me that comes down to an
ability and this is one of those scary
things because it's hard to gain this
ability but the ability to assess
accurately whether or not you're
actually moving towards your goals so
everything starts with this hyper
specific goal and this is why you can't
in any way shape or form be nebulous
about what it is you want to do and I
think that a lot of people are super
[ __ ] vague about what their goals are
and the easiest way for me to explain it
is to say most people have the
equivalent of a goal in their mind of
something like this what the words they
actually use this as a single most
common I want to help people okay great
that's really noble and I love that and
I love that that's something that I hear
all the time but the problem is that's
like saying I want to win a gold medal
in the Olympics okay well summer or
winter summer great tennis or swimming
swimming great which event because until
you get to the exact event that you want
you don't know what to train you don't
know what skills you need you don't know
what muscle groups you need to be
training you don't have the goal in mind
and if you can't measure it you can't
improve it so you need to create some
environment where you know here are the
things that I'm going to measure that I
need to get good at in order to win that
gold medal so if you want to win the
gold medal then you need to understand
what kind of time do you have to swim in
that event in order to qualify
historically for a gold medal that's a
really good place to start and then
looking at the contemporary competition
and understanding on their best day
where they're setting the bar for a gold
medal and either you're swimming that
fast or you're not and so it all becomes
entirely measurable you can find
trainers and coaches that understand how
to get you there but it all started with
that really really specific goal so if
you don't have that specific goal then
you can't even put a roadmap by which
then you can see if you're actually
making progress towards that or not so
invariably in the beginning you're
almost certainly going to be doing the
wrong thing
gonna be doing things that aren't moving
you as rapidly towards your goal as you
want but when you can measure it and you
have that roadmap and you can accurately
identify whether or not you're taking
steps then you can adjust tweak and move
on so I'll give you guys an example the
whole reason that I'm here in New York
was to meet with the former head of one
of the major comic book companies and
literally I said I have two questions
and I spent two days with them over the
next two days your job is to help me
answer two questions question number one
why am I going to fail and then question
number two once I understand why I'm
going to fail how do I ensure that I
succeed and then you really look at just
the really [ __ ] hard answers and once
you have that in place then it's like
okay I've got a rough idea of what I
need to be executing against the things
that I'm gonna need to learn the people
that I'm gonna need to talk to the
problems with distribution that have to
be solved or accounted for all of that
and then you go build out answers to
those problems you see which ones work
and then you change and adjust as you go
but that really is at a very high level
one of the things you have to do talk to
people that already know get them to
break down for you the things you need
to be doing and that's how you evolve
your thinking over time all right next
question is from Carolina Wilk this is
from Facebook
Tom exclamation point how do you make
yourself do things that you don't want
to but have to there's really only one
way that I know to do this reliably and
that is to really care deeply about the
thing that you're trying to do so to me
it's it's about identifying something
that you get more energy out of then it
takes from you and I think people try to
sum that up by saying find something
that you're passionate about and first
of all you have to be really careful
because you don't find you're going to
create passion passion is created it's
not discovered so how do you learn to
create that excitement around something
that you care about so do that by
encountering a lot of things until you
find one that really piques your
interest and then engage with that
heavily and as you engage with that
learn to fan the flames to really create
it as an obsession which one of the
easiest ways to create it as an
obsession goes like this say in your
head this is something that I really
enjoy I love it
me for all these reasons like loop back
over that as to why it's something that
really drives you focus on the things
that you like repeat it in your head man
I really got into that I got into it for
this reason this is why I'm excited
about this and then externalize that and
a huge part of this and one of the
things that I do one of the reasons that
when I'm doing a live like this like
these guys will tell you in the room two
seconds before we started rolling I was
talking in a totally different manner
than I am right now I'm using much
bigger physical expressions and I do
that because I for these lives to give
me more energy than they take I need to
embody the excitement I need to remind
myself of connecting with you guys and
why that's important to me and why
that's fun and in doing that it makes me
want to do the next live even more
because I remember how it gave me energy
instead of just taking it away and I
think about connecting with you guys and
I think about the people that ride in
and all that stuff so I'm intentionally
doing that I'm intentionally a looping
looping around the things in the
community that bring value to me I'm
intentionally embodying my excitement
during this so that then as I replay
this later in my mind that I remember
how it was exciting and it was fun so
learning to do those things learning to
take conscious control of that process
it's gonna give you the excitement that
you need then when you hit those things
that you don't want to be doing you're
so excited and you've so embody that
enthusiasm for the thing you're trying
to do that you believe in that mission
that goal that thing that like you would
look you would die for and you've built
into your life to live for it that thing
is giving you that energy it becomes
your passion and that passion is the
thing that's gonna see you through but
you created all of that so make sure
that whatever you're trying to do you
actually give a [ __ ] about that's the
real answer and I don't think people
really understand how to cultivate that
level of excitement in their life and
thusly they sort of go through
everything it's milquetoast there's
nothing that really gives them that
energy because they don't think it's a
process they think there's just
something in life like a true love that
they're meant to find and when they find
that thing suddenly they're gonna have
the energy or that they can just
discipline their way through this they
can grit it out that they can hunger for
money so much that they'll just push but
it doesn't work like that alright next
question is from Danny Kahn this is
Facebook hey Tom looking forward to your
entertainment studio aspect of your
business thank you question are you
planning on hiring artists creatives
producers that are may
not that our this is weirdly phrase that
or maybe not super experienced DC marvel
trained but passionate and match your
standards for hire so we are very much
open to anybody I don't care if you work
for a DC marvel I don't care if you're
working in a junkyard somewhere right
now but what we care deeply about is can
you tell a story with deep emotion or
draw an image that really captures
something so you've got to be good so we
are very much looking for people that
have developed their talent remember I
don't think people are born with this
stuff I think that they develop that
talent plain and simple and if you've
put in the hours and you're good and you
capture something amazing you can tell a
story that's really going to resonate
with people we want to hear from you now
we're trying to create something where
the community can submit their work
that's proving to be more difficult
going back to doing things that you're
not enjoying doing it's proving to be
more difficult than I originally thought
and the reason is that we have to wade
through an entire universe of content
that sucks and how do you create legal
mechanisms so that I don't get bitten in
the ass later by somebody who submitted
something that sucked and then I do an
idea later that they think is close to
their idea and now they come after me so
putting the stuff into place that will
allow us get literally thousands upon
thousands of submissions so that we can
get to the you know the rarefied
diamonds isn't easy but we will be doing
it and getting community submissions
over the long run is is really an
important part of our strategy and I
spent the last few days talking about
all the ways that that could fall down
and all the ways that we really make
sure that we're able to do that so the
punchline is if you think you've got
stuff like that start by tagging me in
your IG stuff that's super easy that way
I can just go see as an artist D of
talent or not and so in fact Jesus I
literally never thought of it till this
minute for anybody out there that
fancies themselves an artist tag me on
IG I will look at your stuff if you're
not posting your stuff there I'm that's
the modern-day version of a portfolio
you should absolutely be doing that put
it up on IG I'll drink your IG feed in
as a totality so I won't over look at
any one piece I want to see like can you
consistently create stuff that really
resonates that is perfect we may have
just solved all of our legal problems
right here
at least four artists next question is
from Steve Joseph Facebook hi Tom what
are your thoughts and trying to limit
ego in your life to make sure the goals
you set out for yourself for authentic
and not imposed by others so I don't
necessarily see the tie to ego so I'll
break it out and just say how do you set
goals to make sure that they're
authentic to yourself and not to others
so having awareness around your
emotional state is really critical and
understanding what are those things that
that really get you excited and light
you on fire is for me that's always been
something that's easy but I'll describe
the internal process for you so when I
when I'm preparing for an impact Theory
episode I'm usually filled with anxiety
at the beginning of the process and I'm
asking myself questions like am I going
to be able to find this interview or if
it's somebody that I really want to
interview like am I going to be able to
deliver that level of interview that got
this person to agree to be on the show
right or is this gonna be the interview
that I [ __ ] up and like man and this
begins to erode our reputation okay
that's where I start at the beginning
preparing for pretty much every episode
and then as I go something about that
person fascinates me some some little
moment like with Seth Godin it was when
I saw him I came from he wrote about it
or talked about it but he said that when
Leonard Nimoy died that it made him cry
and I was like what the [ __ ] like that
hit me so hard I was so fascinated by
that that like I originally I wanted
that to be the very first question that
I asked him I ended up asking him later
in the episode but that was so
fascinating to me that literally in that
moment all of my anxiety dies away and I
find myself totally lost in like really
thinking about how Seth Godin who I
think of in one way was so into Leonard
Nimoy and Leonard Nimoy represented
something so powerful to him that he
cried when a human being he'd never met
died and in that I was totally lost and
that's when I knew there's something
there and so being able to recognize
that moment of excitement of like whoa
that's so interesting to me if you can
recognize that that that that is
happening then you know that's something
that
real for you doesn't matter what anybody
says even if somebody else had told me
hey make sure you ask him about the
Leonard Nimoy thing it really hit me on
an emotional level when I encountered it
so that's like learning to feel your
emotions and then being able to back
into them and understand what's driving
them that's where things that's how you
know something is authentic to you and
so over time just really making sure
that you listen to those like anxiety
for me is oftentimes triggered if I'm
starting to I'm at the end of my
knowledge and I'm still trying to talk
about it and so that's why you'll hear
me if I'm ever talking about something
and I feel anxiety kicking it means okay
I'm hitting the edge of what I know and
then I'll just acknowledge hey I'm now
out of the depths of what I really truly
understand and so we're going beyond
that but I say that as a way to then
lower my anxiety levels but all of it is
me having a relationship to the emotions
that are kicked up and the emotions by
the way the coolest explanation I've
ever heard of what emotions are is that
it's your subconscious talking to your
conscious mind so the subconscious can
process data what they call vaster and
faster so it processes way more data
more rapidly than the conscious mind but
then if we know that the conscious mind
the language of the conscious mind is
what we think of as normal language the
subconscious mind has to have a really
rapid way of communicating a massive
amount of data in a really rapid fashion
and that's what emotions are so your
emotions are just quickly telling you
something about the current state
whether it's excitement whether it's
anxiety fear whatever that's your
subconscious mind which is taking in a
whole lot more data so learning to trust
your subconscious mind but being able to
read your emotions is really critical
all right next up Jose Gabriel Gonzalez
is from Facebook Tom what is your
approach for giving your time away to
help others such as this ama how do you
reconcile the fact that time spent
helping others could be spent working on
your goals or polishing up your skills
that is an amazingly good question and
some of it comes down to at the end of
the day the only game you're playing
it's not success it's not money it is
brain chemistry so it comes down to how
do you want to feel and Tony Hawk I
think has the best description of
success that I've ever heard and he said
doing what you love for living is
success and he said it doesn't matter if
you're making
a lot of money if you can afford like
he's he always makes that statement when
he's referencing the period in his life
we're in the 80s skateboarding totally
collapsed there was virtually no money
to be made from it anymore he didn't
have sponsorship dollars coming in he
was skateboarding for a living in the
parking lot of Six Flags and he was
making just enough to afford sandwiches
and a $5 a day Taco Bell allowance and
he said but I was still happy and I
still loved it and it never crossed my
mind to go do something else because I
was getting paid to skateboard he was
like even though you know five or six
years before that I was making enough
money to buy a house and he said now I
was making enough money to afford $5 a
day a Taco Bell he was like I was still
skating and I still loved it and he said
that is success and I thought that's so
powerful and we all get lost in these
external metrics of what we think
success is rather than saying the name
of the game is actually brain chemistry
so if you're focusing on that brain
chemistry then it because how you
allocate your time becomes much easier
so for me doing analysts they give me
more energy than they take away so just
from a raw emotional standpoint I enjoy
it and then also I understand as a part
like I whenever possible I make things
work double duty so not only do amla's
make me feel good which is amazing it's
also a key part of my strategy in terms
of building the next disney so spending
these last two days looking at all the
ways in which that my current thinking
is going to fail really makes it clear
that one of the the only ways that this
is going to work is if I'm right about
the fact that social media has changed
the landscape of how to build a business
so much that I'll be able to build a
community that when I make the ask of
hey go check this comic out or tell your
friend who might be in the comics to go
look at this or hey we've got a movie
coming up or a TV show I just want you
guys to show up or you guys know my
ultimate fantasy if we go to say and
Netflix we're trying to sell a show that
you guys are standing out in the parking
lot with a sign that says impact Theory
so my bet is that that's exactly what is
going to work so doing this coming here
showing that I'm willing to suffer to
add value to your life that I'm willing
to take away time from building my skill
set I'm willing to take away time from
building the studio
and do this and answer your questions
because I think it adds value or even
more impactful II when I go do a live
talk and afterwards I tell people I will
stay until every question has been
answered and my record is just over 11
hours I'm standing there without
stepping away to pee without taking a
break to eat anything literally just
standing there
for 11 hours and answering people's
questions I want people to be able to
look me in the eye and see that I'm
willing to suffer for them to bring
value to the community and my belief is
that social media has created that
possibility where I can build a massive
community measured in the millions by
doing that by adding value to other
people's lives so those are the two ways
that I really judge how I spend my time
is it going to help me build that
community that I need to go on and be
successful the way that I want to be and
doesn't give me more energy than it
takes away and if the answer honestly to
either of those is yes I'll do it
and I'll always prioritize things to do
both and I highly encourage you to do
the same all right next up is from
Khalid Hanif this is from YouTube it's
one thing to pursue your passion as a
hobby it's a whole different ballgame to
do what you love and get paid for it how
do I find a way to turn my passion into
my career okay so think of it like a
Venn diagram and you're looking for
areas that overlap and they're one you
have to decide like what does a career
look like for you is a career $35,000 is
it $75,000 they say the magic breaking
point is 77th at once you're making
seventy seven thousand dollars money
over that doesn't actually add to your
happiness or is it more is it you know
one hundred and fifty thousand two
hundred fifty thousand or do you want to
become a multi millionaire or
billionaire right like figuring out
where on the career scale you fall is
going to determine what kind of overlap
area you have to look for so that's
really really critical and if you're on
sort of the you know we'll call it the
the middle of the road just like a nice
solid living the $77,000 kind of living
there's going to be a lot of things that
open up to you in that vein that you
could do that are both lining up with
your passion and are something that are
that's marketable to the world and
whether that's in the constructs of a
company or whether that's you being a
freelancer there's
so many ways these days to market your
talents and skills that unlike any other
time before where you really had to slot
into something that a company not only
recognizes valuable but they had a name
for it and they knew how to put a pay
structure around it so a lot of that is
really gone by the wayside but
ultimately you're looking for something
I love and something the world's willing
to pay for and where you find those
areas of overlap that's how you're gonna
make your let create that or is that
something that's already there for me is
there a name for this is there a known
marketplace for where I can sell this or
am I gonna have to create that and am I
willing to do that but I mean these days
now even with things like Etsy and
Amazon it's Jesus you could sell
virtually anything and then upwork if
you don't know it if you have a service
type skill set that doesn't create a
final product you can go there and
market your talents so but ultimately
that's it my passion and what is the
world what is the world willing to pay
for okay and if you find yourself on the
farther ends of that spectrum and you
want you know millions or billions of
dollars ownership is the only way and
ultimately the understanding the
difference between being wealthy on
paper and being wealthy in a bank
account that's that's a pretty big thing
I won't go into that here but on the
higher end things start to get different
than different than that sort of really
base thing but it gets very different
terms if you need to own it and then
honestly you need to find an exit
strategy almost nobody gets rich in
operations but like I said that's a
whole nother thing all right
next question is from villa villa Jim
and this is YouTube what do you do when
you have changed majorly and you still
feel like you've failed because of the
time you wasted how do you deal with the
lost time so I I play a game and it goes
like this I pretend that literally the
second as these words are coming out of
my mouth that I am just now waking up
out of the matrix
and everything leading up to this moment
is fake it is entirely false and it's
merely meant to give me the context with
which to live the rest of my life it is
the programming that makes the AI
actually able to move forward and make
decisions so hey if it's all fake then I
can just choose to lean on whatever
experiences that I have in my past that
actually set me up to be more empowered
to move forward
so if beating myself up over having lost
that time is the thing that I need to be
razor-sharp and super clear about what
I'm doing now moving forward then I'm
do it and if not and if it gets into
this weird loop and I'm beating myself
up and it's roading my ability to enjoy
my life then I'm going to stop doing
it's a fake [ __ ] memory anyway
likewise if you accept that hey I don't
live in the matrix which by the way I do
I don't think we actually live in the
matrix I think this [ __ ] is real I still
just go doesn't make sense to spend my
time there beating myself up over the
waste of time or is that even more waste
of time sitting there and focusing on it
and now I'm letting it Rob even more
[ __ ] time for my life which would be
absolutely crazy and would literally be
the definition of insanity in which case
I'm going to immediately stop doing that
and I'm going to focus on moving forward
now for whatever reason for me having
that built-in belief system like at a
foundational operational level that I
only do and believe that which moves me
towards my goals
it lets me off the hook for a lot of
stupid [ __ ] I used to be freakishly dumb
wasting time laying in bed for hours and
hours and hours and hours I in my life
I've been unintentionally cruel to my
wife in the beginning of our
relationship all of those things all of
the things that I could focus on that
would make me feel really badly about
myself I let myself off the hook by
going it doesn't help
remembering all the times that I was
mean to the love of my life how does
that help me be good and better to her
now it doesn't so I don't do that and so
I let go of that and believing that I'm
a bad person for that like that doesn't
help me be a better person today or
enjoy my life more and so I let go of it
so if you can let that operating
system-level belief do and believe that
which moves you towards your goals
period if you can believe that that's
the right way to live then hopefully it
will let you off the hook and you're not
gonna spend a lot of time focusing on
that cuz reality is you can't change it
you can change your perspective on it
you can't actually change it so focus on
changing your perspective all right next
question is from de Bella Topher Scott
this is on Facebook hiya Tom my past
four years have set me back with four
car accidents good lord may I suggest no
more car rides two major back surgeries
going broke twice and the loss of my
sister goddamn New Year's Day 18
question for someone basically
restarting life at 36 and those learning
skills are key how do you know you're
creating the right path you don't but
the way that you get closest to that
is like what I was talking about earlier
by really being able to identify your
emotions and what's driving them you're
looking for things in your life that are
gonna be giving you more energy than
they take away that it's positive it's
uplifting it's empowering you it's
making you feel better about your life
so I don't think there is any objective
right way I think there is only I have a
goal I really believe in this to school
excites me and when I stop and think
about if I actually achieve that goal
and I attained it how would I feel about
myself what would the world look like
how much does that excite me right so
people keep getting confused they think
my goal is to build comics or to make
movies it's not that's my path to
pulling people out of the matrix
now the good news is when I think about
pulling people out of the matrix it is
so exciting that I will suffer virtually
any path but it just so happens that I
also love comic books and film but the
one thing that I keep gut checking
myself against is is comic books in film
actually the right path to pulling
people out of the matrix over multiple
generations because I don't want to be
deluded by the fact that I love it so
much the path itself that I end up not
actually achieving my goal which is far
more exciting to me so when I think
about what would I be willing to risk my
fortune for it definitely is not for
comics and movies I love them so much
fun but if somebody said hey you're
actually gonna go broke doing that I'd
be like then [ __ ] it but if somebody
said hey pulling people out of the
majors meaning helping people at scale
that's what matters to me at scale
getting out of a limiting belief system
and really reaching their full potential
that's [ __ ] interesting if somebody
said hey you could bet your fortune on
that and have a real shot at making that
happen that I would do and that's
literally what we are doing so I know
that that is a beyond true statement so
but I'm not confused I know one of them
is worth banking on for me emotionally
and one of them is not and so I try to
always be clear about whether my path is
right to use your words or not but I
know that this thing here pulling people
out of the matrix
seeing that moment of awakening in
people that lights me on fire in a way
that nothing else does so because that's
true emotionally and because when I
think through that it's exciting and
because there are small micro moments of
that through my life that I get all the
time on literally a daily basis largely
by the way thanks to you guys in the
community who write in and saying how
this stuff changed your life and how it
is allowing you to do things you
otherwise been able to do it's right in
that Tony Hawk sense of the successes I
love what I do and I love it every day
so I love in the moment as well as just
looking at the grand scheme so if you
have that gut feel and it feels right
you're doing the right thing even if
ultimately you realize you have to pivot
you've got enough course and that the
financial side may have been wrong and
so you have to you know address that and
move on but from an emotional standpoint
which I think Trump's the financial
standpoint that's how you find out if
it's right okay next up is from gone
Scalia gone school at 92 from YouTube
why why is it that we tend to make take
more into consideration when others
destructively criticize us when they
support us or encourage us many things
okay so this is has to do with you have
a brain that is built in three pieces
and each piece is simply layered on top
of the other one so you start it just
above the brainstem you have something
called the amygdala which incorporating
that is the lizard brain so the lizard
brain is the oldest part of our brain
it's the thing shared with the most
creatures from an evolutionary
perspective before us
and it's meant to keep you alive so it's
going to control your fight-or-flight
response it's going to control your rest
and digest it's it's the thing that
controls all of the like deeply embedded
instinctual stuff so being afraid of a
snake seeing a stick out of the corner
of your eye and jumping all of that's
the lizard brain it's all the things
that are meant to keep you alive now
staying alive is a single most important
thing for a human so the human brain is
optimized to keep you alive so if
somebody gives you like positive news
like it's nice it feels good but it's
not life or death it's good news whereas
the bad news you're about to get eaten
by something you might starve to death
like that is the terminable or the
terminal event so you want to avoid a
termination event an extinction event so
that's what we're optimizing for
neurologically so understanding that
that's how you recognize okay I get why
it's something like five times you're
five times more likely to remember
something negative than you are
something paused
okay so I can because I don't live in an
environment where death is coming to get
me that rapidly I can move myself into
the higher-level cognition so if at the
core of everything you have the lizard
brain on top of that you have the
mammalian brain which is responsible for
your emotions and then top of that give
the neocortex and you know cortex is
responsible for the higher-level
cognition what they call executive
function so the executive function is
where you should be trying to live the
most of your life so that your while
you're aware of your survival instincts
and why the negativity has such a big
emotional response for you you also have
the neocortex where you can look back at
that and go cool I get it but I'm not
gonna fall for it
and so not putting in your yourself in a
position where logically you also
blindly accept that those negative
things are more true so if you can get
yourself in a position where you can
take negative feedback for what it is
that you cannot let yourself fall for
things hurting the way that negative
things tend to hurt then you can rise
above it and and the key way that I've
found to do that by the way is to flip
what you build your self-esteem around
from being right being good being worthy
to really taking pride in a willingness
to look at your your inadequacies and
all of that because once you pride
yourself on being the learner then all
of a sudden you can really begin to move
forward much more powerfully so that is
my advice all right next up is from Mia
Lavoie what's up Mia I'm beginning to
recognize your name I loved seeing you
in the comments thank you so much this
is from Facebook hi Tom when you think
of your audience and followers have you
pinpointed a recurring weakest link of
mindset that you see people keeping them
from motivation and taking action for me
the the thing that you see over and over
and over and over and over is just that
people take pride in being good and
being right and being worthy that's
their default position and so getting
beyond that really is first and foremost
is it is the single most important thing
to getting over or getting into a growth
mindset now the number one thing that I
see as the stumbling block because most
of the people that come to me at least
already have what Carol Dweck calls a
false growth growth mindset in that they
don't recognize how many ways or
tripping themselves up they don't
recognize all the ways in which
they are doing things for ego in a way
that doesn't matter they don't have the
awareness to stop themselves and so they
do a lot of petty [ __ ] even though if
you ask them they could describe a
growth mindset magically but they don't
actually hunger and this is a key
distinction they don't hunger to find
out where they're wrong I just paid
somebody a lot of money to basically
laugh at me for two days to tell me all
the ways in which I'm stupid and I had
somebody with them with me so there were
three of us and I pulled the guy aside
that was with me before we went in on
day one and I said look no matter what
they say cuz they're gonna say [ __ ]
that's gonna hurt your feelings no
matter what they say don't argue don't
push back listen and open yourself up to
them being right because if they're
right then we just dodged a bullet and
if they're wrong then what the [ __ ] does
it matter like you shouldn't have an ego
hit from that and so that's how you
really get ahead in life when you have a
growth mindset you want people to tell
you that you're wrong because now you
can get better and that really is the
key somebody with the growth mindset
actually wants to get better okay so
that's the first part the thing that I
see everybody actually struggling with
is that they think that the way that you
get a passion in your life is to find it
so they think that they're an
archaeologist and what they need to do
is discover to dig around inside them to
find that deep passion that's been lying
within them all this time and they just
need to now discover it and bring it to
the forefront and the reality is you're
not an architect or excuse me you're not
an archaeologist you're an architect so
you're gonna build this stuff and you're
going to create it and I think that if
one of the biggest things I hope that I
can give this community is an
understanding of exactly how to create
excitement to create passion in your
life that if I can do that we'll have
taken just a tremendous step board and
I've already talked about that today so
I'm going to that more here but that
really is the the the critical thing you
have to be able to create enthusiasm
energy excitement passion not out of
nothing because it needs to be born of
something that actually did capture your
interest but you need to be able to take
think of it this way you need to be able
to take an ember and turn it into a
raging inferno that that is what human
beings need to get good at so if you can
like just think about what that would
look like you
just let an ember sit there you don't
just blow on an ember you don't just put
kindling on top of it you take a number
you put grass dry grass on top of it you
blow on it that catches on fire then you
start feeding the kindling then you put
bigger things on top then you stoke the
fire you make sure that it's got enough
air to breathe just like a fire has to
be constructed in a very intelligent
manner and it is a very conscious
process that does not happen by accident
you have to do the same thing in your
life to build a passion to build
something that has enthusiasm enthusiasm
so being able to do that is is the key
all right next up this is Zack
Richardson on Facebook good morning tom
I'm traveling the world in my van very
cool and honing my craft on photography
film and blogging I have my vision in
place and I know what it looks like
however I always go back to the habit of
overthinking and being paralysed any
suggestions how to overcome it yes and
this is straight from Seth Godin if you
have to fake a name come up with a gnome
to plume and everything you put out put
out under somebody else's name that's
fine but just get this [ __ ] out there
and see how people react when I say I'm
utterly unafraid of doing things that
fail I'm utterly unafraid like the
reason is like I know what my goal is
and I know that between me where I'm at
now today and my goal is a necessary
amount of failure I have to [ __ ] up
because pain plus reflection equals
progress I need to do things that put me
in a position to hurt to go [ __ ] that
sucked and I really thought that was
gonna win and it didn't and it was
embarrassing and I thought it was good
and it was [ __ ] and the world has told
me that that is an abject failure now
understand I derive my pride my entire
sense of ego the thing that gets me out
of the morning it makes me feel like a
total [ __ ] badass is my willingness
to fail and to suffer and to sit in that
pain and to Goggins it out and just
grind and be willing to face all of that
stuff so I would put my name on it I
would be unafraid to fail I would go
hard I want to see what works and what
doesn't work because I believe in my
ability to get better when you believe
that putting something out there your
photography your blogs whatever when you
believe that if you put it out and it
fails and it doesn't resonate that it
means you are a failure once you can
accept that it doesn't mean that it
means that currently with your current
of skills you are not yet good enough
yet good enough and that there is a very
identify identifiable path to getting
good once you know that once you know
that there's a path to getting good and
it simply comes down to whether or not
you're willing to walk that path then
it's like cool now I know that I'm wrong
now I know what path I need to be on and
now I can go get those skills and
usually by the way even when people are
trying to [ __ ] hurt you and they are
not trying to be constructive they're
actually trying to be destructive if
somebody really wants to [ __ ] with you
the best news ever the greatest way to
[ __ ] with you is to tell you something
true that hurts
but now unintentionally they've just
given you a gift because they are trying
to take you down by hurling something
real and it's usually something that
either you feared was true but weren't
sure or you were totally blind to either
way now you either have confirmation or
your eyes are opened to a truth about
your specific inadequacy which now you
can address so publish is the really
short answer all right next up we've got
Mike per person chili what's up Mike hi
Tom as you establish your representation
in the world of comics how much time do
you spend looking at your competition
versus building your vision for your
brand do you find it to be similar to
quest yeah I think that at the end of
the day being aware of what your
competitors are doing makes a lot of
sense but thinking that it's going to
help you go to the next level
is the wrong answer because ultimately
what people are looking for is something
new something fresh a unique voice and
authentic voice so one especially in the
world of comics and film and TV I
[ __ ] love it
so I would never want to be in a
position where I wasn't encountering
that stuff or enjoying it but there may
be times where you want to shut yourself
off in the world to not be taking in
other people's creative so that you go
create with what you're feeling internal
that vision that you have and really
just get it out but I live in a world
where I'm ecstatic by how much content
is being put out there I want to go
engage with it just as a fan and so
being able to get inspired by that being
able to be pushed by that be
able to be like have my insecurities
triggered by that for me that's big
because I love I love it when somebody
okay you can feel them breathing down
your neck and it pushes you to be better
and I don't think anybody ever achieves
their best without somebody breathing
down their neck and so I want that I
want people that are pushing me making
me sweat and I love that in the
beginning everybody thinks that you'll
never be able to do this you're just
going to be dwarfed by the competition
so I love that I love being an underdog
so yes I'm I'm very aware of what
they're doing but I also take time to
just step away from that go in hard and
create my own stuff all right
Orlando Ramos Facebook you speak about
wanting to live forever so very true
what would you do if you actually could
do so spend etern