Kind: captions
Language: en
you know in that moment of Epiphany when
I started to think more about the cane
and less about you know blindness
capital B I it was it was a liberating
experience it was an empowering
experience that's when it really you
know hit me that everything I thought I
knew about going beyond her being blind
was was these awful lives that's when I
was able to make that connection between
this experience of sight we have and I
said we'll wait a minute isn't that kind
of exactly what I did with my fears and
shortly thereafter kind of in that
realization I guess was this idea that
life is choice and I said if you keep if
you tell yourself you're gonna live this
small on the remarkable pathetic life
and you're you know not gonna love or
respect yourself and you know you're not
gonna find a mate not you can make that
happen for yourself or you can choose to
have a different life everybody welcome
to impact Theory you're here my friends
because you believe that human potential
is nearly limitless but you know that
having potential is not the same as
actually doing something with it so our
goal with this show and company is to
introduce you to the people and ideas
that will help you actually execute on
your dreams all right today's guest has
had one of the most staggeringly diverse
and successful careers ever he began
acting in commercials when he was an
infant and then after being cast in
roughly 150 commercials he got his big
break in Hollywood when at the age of 13
he landed the role of weasel weasel on
Saved by the Bell the new class
overnight he was a teen celebrity but
the show did not last long and it was
over just as quickly as it began but
rather than lament the death of his
Hollywood dream he skipped a few grades
graduated early and headed off to
college graduating from Harvard at the
age of 19 and then Harvard Law shortly
thereafter he went on to clerk for
Supreme Court justices Sandra Day
O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg
ultimately becoming a litigator for the
US Justice Department where he argued
more than a dozen cases in federal court
never losing a single one somewhere in
there he also founded an Internet tech
company that would later self over two
hundred and thirty million dollars after
realizing that his high-powered career
in law wasn't for him he finally left
his high-paying manhattan-based
international law firm and bought a
rapidly failing cement company in
Orlando a very unlikely choice that
nearly cost him everything but
the odds he turned it around and in just
five short years he established OVC
construction as one of the country's
most successful construction companies
taking it from roughly 11 million
dollars in revenue to north of 150
million dollars and did I mention that
he did all of this blind literally at
the age of 13 he was diagnosed with a
rare degenerative eye disease that
slowly robbed him of his sight what he's
accomplished in life puts him in
rarefied company already but doing it
blind puts him in a class all of his own
so please help me in welcoming the New
York Times bestselling author of eyes
wide open the man whose main stage TED
talk - received more than a million
views in the first 20 days alone the
only blind law clerk ever to work for
the Supreme Court
Isaac litski pretty amazing dude and
writing that I was like your career
accomplishments are so crazy like you
don't need to lead with the fact that
you're blind like the it would be easy
to write that intro regardless of that
so the fact that you were able to build
a mindset that allowed you to do all of
that is really astonishing
now what set me on fire for you is this
whole notion that we live in a virtual
reality explain that what was it about
losing your sight that led you to that
sure and then we'll dive in so you know
we have this experience that you know
site is is truth right seeing is
believing we say you know you open your
eyes there's the world it's immediate
it's passive and it's it's reality well
the experience that I had sort of
progressing progressively losing my
sight from about a 13 to about age 25
really shattered that illusion for me
and I literally saw firsthand that sight
this is this magical experience of sight
far from objective truth or you know
external reality it's this personal
virtual reality we create for ourselves
that implicates our memories opinions
emotions our conceptual understanding of
the world all sorts of things and and
yet we experience it sort of passively
as this direct representation of the
world and that really was if you're
pardoned upon an eye opening
realization for me that led to this this
vision that I have because sight is true
in just one way right that we shape the
reality as we experience we create our
own worlds in many other ways really in
every way and having the opportunity to
literally see that firsthand as I lost
my sight you have turned out to be
really one of the best things that ever
happened to me in my life that's really
incredible that you're able to begin to
frame it that way and one of the things
that was so fascinating reading your
book is your breakdown of how much
resources the brain sucks up with sight
now walk us through that like how much
of the brain is allocated to site and
then what have you begun to sort of
reengage with the world now that you
don't have vision sure so sites
obviously very important evolutionarily
biologically but it's not everything and
it's certainly not infallible and in
some respects I think you know as I was
saying that I think there's a an
interesting metaphor to be made or
interesting lessons to draw from the way
in which we experience sight is this
all-consuming you know passive reality
you know versus what's what's sort of
really going on in the world and was
really going on in our minds and sights
a crazy thing I apologize from rambling
but so some electromagnetic light hits
the back of our eyes you know our
retinas photoreceptor cells in the back
of the eye respond to that light send a
signal to the brain we call the part of
the electromagnetic spectrum that our
eyes respond to the visible spectrum
right well that spectrum of light of
electromagnetic
one-ten trillionth of the total spectrum
of electromagnetic radiation that's out
there so you know we got this back of
the eye that responds to 110 trillions
of electromagnetic tro magnetic
radiation in our world from that you
know we create this abstracted unique
personal virtual world that involves
like I said all sorts of things that
have nothing to do with data from the
eyes the site itself is really only
about 10% data from the eyes and yet we
walk around or decided to folks walk
around thinking that they you know quote
unquote know what the world looks like
the idea is crazy it's not as if that to
me is is one of the most powerful things
about your book it and
in fact the reason that you've said you
wrote the book wasn't for people with
disabilities or blindness specifically
certainly that you wanted your kids to
read it one day so that they would have
that frame of reference so that they
would understand that basically you're
living in this virtual representation
like you said it gave me the chills that
only 10% of vision is created from the
data that's coming from your eyes and so
the rest is being constructed it's being
constructed by what right so once you
realize that your brain is constructing
the world around you and it doesn't
necessarily always serve you then it
empowers you to start making choices
about not only what to believe but
perspective how to see things and so
taking that perspective shift you've
talked a lot about fear very powerfully
what is it what is fear why is it such a
potent force in our life and with new
perspective what can we do to it
sure so you know real world experience
have you ever had you know the
experience where you spot someone across
the room you walk over tap them on the
shoulder and it's a complete stranger
yes right so you know we say very
quickly we say oh we thought it was our
friend or we thought it was our
colleague and that's just not true we
knew it right and you're in your world
and your reality your friend was there
and then it turned out they weren't so
fear we if we're not careful we can
experience much the same way fear is
this natural response it serves an
evolutionary purpose to be sure it's
very helpful in a lot of ways but it's
also powerfully destructive so fear is
this mechanism that sort of fills in the
unknown right when we when we confront
times of change times of crisis you know
we're uncertain you know our fears kick
in and we fill in really the worst case
scenario right we awful a psychologist
call it authorising which i think is a
great term you know we fill in the worst
case scenario and we have all these dark
imaginings and these are things that we
tell ourselves their machinations of our
own mind but much like that friend at
that party these aren't things that we
think we experience them as things that
we know right if we're not careful when
I was first diagnosed with my binding
disease
I knew that blindness was gonna ruin my
life right
it meant I was gonna live a wholly
unremarkable life small and sad
you know it would be the end of
achievement for me I thought I'd never
have a family because you know I wasn't
even in love or respect myself how could
I expect someone else to love or respect
me and on and on and on and these were
lies born of my fears born of ignorance
but for some time I knew them to be true
and I think had I not had the blessing
of this this sort of shattering of the
illusion of sight itself that I speak of
they sort of peek behind the curtains
and to sort of you know the way the mind
works the wizard behind the curtains
right if I hadn't learned to see through
those fears eyes wide open I would have
I mean that's the world I would have
lived that would have been my life and
the only difference is perspective it's
in here it's it's nothing out there in
the world so you know like I said this
this this is this journey of mine losing
my sight and then gaining this vision
has been immeasurably rewarding for me
and fulfilling and it's been one of the
best things that happened that makes so
much sense to me when I think about the
man behind the curtain or though you
know The Wizard of Oz once you realize
that that there that's been really
potent in my life as well so when I
first started on my entrepreneurial
journey I was a total mess and I had no
idea how to make the things happen that
I wanted to make happen and I found that
my own ego was getting in my way and
that once I realized that my ego was
based on something and I could change
what that was that I could flip that
around then all of a sudden I could
value myself based on being a learner
being willing to admit that I was wrong
instead of trying to be smart right or
whatever and that was really
transformative and being able to
visualize the structures of the brain
being able to understand from an
evolutionary perspective why I was set
up to be fearful or whatever was
incredibly powerful do you find that
being able to becoming aware of the
visual tricks because you've said that
things would morph right before your
eyes as you were losing your sight I
think one time you said you went to wash
your hands and realize you were actually
touching a urinal and but it looked like
a sink until you finally realized it was
a urinal just being able to visualize
the the physical mechons
of the brain help you with things other
than sight oh absolutely and you know as
you said I mean that the the value in
this desire out of envision that you
know that I speak of is is you know it's
it's not about sight it's not about
blindness it's it's about the less
we can take you know in really taking
control over the reality we want for
ourselves literally choosing who you
want to be and how you want to live your
life in any moment right so yes we do
this with sight but we do it with the
self limiting assumptions we make about
ourselves you know we do it with the way
we miss perceive success and weakness
and failure and strength in life which
with the way that we I think really miss
perceive lock the force of a lock in
life our insecurities or vanities are
seeming struggle to listen to each other
let alone to our own hearts and and on
and on and on so this really is for me
it's it's uh it's it's my daily
philosophy right it's it's it takes
effort
there was no aha moment right up on some
hill where it all you know flipped you
know a switch flipped and it all became
perfect for me I struggle with it every
day some days I'm not so good at it but
it is my aspiration and it's certainly
worthwhile I think on the days where
you're not so good at it what actually
is happening you know there are times
still when I you know have fears when I
fear failure right when I wrestled with
that critic in my mind telling me all
sorts of awful things when I you know
I'm uncared for and find that I'm
projecting onto others insecurities or
vanities that are really all my own and
step one is being conscious of it and
being aware of it but that that doesn't
always mean it's super easy to overcome
it but I try again you know to I hold
myself accountable above all else for my
role in in in shaping you know the
reality that I experience in every
moment so I do try to you know talk to
my I do talk to myself often and say
listen you're feeling lousy you're
worried about this you're scared about
that you're upset about this and you
know it's okay you're human but let's
let's pull it apart and you know let's
go through the strategies that I've
developed over the years to you know
overcome those things so I want to get
into some of those strategies that in
the book one of the most incredible
parts was when you buy the cement
company in Orlando which by the way when
you look back on it and becomes insanely
successful like there's a safety net to
that we've all already landed we know it
works out right but you didn't know
that it was gonna work out you've got
your business partners like telling you
hey it took me 20 years to you know save
up and protect my family financially you
ruined it in three months
your mom is having to offer you money
for you to keep the company going you've
already had to tell your wife that we're
gonna have to declare a personal
bankruptcy move in with her parents
right just to really make it fun yeah
and in the book you actually walk
through like step by step what your
brain was telling you the critic so you
you differentiate between the critic and
the strong man which is want to hear
more about sure and then you really walk
through like super raw and vulnerable
those steps what what was that like for
you going through that and how what were
the mechanisms or that just the dialogue
in your brain they used to silence the
critic sure so you know it's it's I I
wanted so badly to surrender gracefully
at the company we bought was toxic it
was a merging money and it looked like
you know we had lost everything and then
I had this this lifeline from from my
mom this offer of essentially her life
savings to try to save my business and
that was a it was almost an unwanted
offer right I wanted so desperately like
I said to just kind of give up but again
you're sort of putting my money where my
mouth is on this sort of philosophy and
taking a step back to you know really
hold myself accountable for you know the
choices I was gonna make and what I
wanted in life you know on the inside of
the business we were even more excited
about the vision we were super excited
about our team we felt we could bring
you know technology and professionalism
to a very unsophisticated industry and
so logically rationally you know with
with some money with some time you know
we could turn the ship around and that
was certainly a better approach than
then given up right so you know when
you're honest with yourself and and you
know the right step you got to make and
you know you got to do it and you got to
get yourself there what I love is
looking at your life it'd be really easy
to dismiss you it's just being
unnaturally smart and just saying like
look this guy's genius like it is
what it is I could never do what he does
and what I found so empowering about
your book what I think is so cool about
what you're doing in this phase of your
life
is in the book you you walk people
through where you're saying you're
putting this map together these
incredible entrepreneurs that have come
before you that have been bold but
you're not that good like you're never
gonna live up to that and I was just
like whoa whoa wait a second like the
guy who it would be tempting for me to
just dismiss as being a naturally smart
is saying it's easy for him to like
dismiss other people as being unnatural
smart and it is this so natural thing
for everybody to have that voice in
their head that says that they can't do
it and then the the punchline is that it
was basic execution that ended up
pulling you out of that so talk to me
what is the strong man what is that
whole concept yeah so you know the this
critic in our minds you know it's that
that nasty voice that is quick to pass
judgment to tell us what we can't do you
know to keep us off the field to tell us
what others are thinking and saying
about us right and the way this sort of
critic can be so effective so powerful
in kind of dominating our lives in my
experiences by through an insistence on
perfection right which is impossible the
critic insist upon perfection which
essentially guarantees our failure
through comparison relative merit right
that critic will compare you to anybody
right real or imagined from any era
especially when you compare unfavorably
you know I'm the critic will swap out
you know different definitions of
success or value or purpose or you know
for your own and you know you will need
to notice it so you know the critic and
of course this comes from Teddy
Roosevelt's you know brilliant remarks
about the critic and the strong man the
critic for me really is sort of that
embodiment of you know again our fear of
failure you know are our own worst enemy
in our minds Roosevelt strong man on the
other hand you know as someone who has
no use for perfection right only
progress i someone who values effort and
growth whose focus is the moment is
momentum right the next step not this
overarching Enterprise this overwhelming
endeavor but what is my next step and
you know for the strong man success lies
in in striving and actually striving
towards a noble pursuit which at the end
of the day is the only thing we can
control
right whether or not we are striving to
our best toward a noble pursuit and the
outcome is less important it's funny you
mentioned that at the time that I was
going through it I did not know that we
were gonna turn around oh do you see
construction and it would be a great
success you know you make a big decision
and you know later it either works out
phenomenally well or is a catastrophic
failure well it's so tempting in the
face of the catastrophic failure to go
back and beat yourself up and say oh
this was the worst decision and I'm an
idiot and this was terrible and likewise
in the face of great success it's very
easy for people to tell themselves well
man I must have been a genius right how
did the smartest guy there is and just
as a law of physics right as a
proposition of logic that can't be true
it cannot be that subsequent events you
know determine the quality of actions
you make decisions you make
conversations you have you know
behaviors you exhibit you have to assess
those things from the perspective of you
know the time in which they take place
so how does that how does that pain out
in my experience was I a you know you
know visionary genius to buy this
struggling construction company you know
when we did know I mean was a it was a
disaster we thought we were buying a you
know a humble company but a going
concern and we we bought some you know
company that was sinking like a stone
did it work out well yeah of course and
it worked out phenomenally well I'm
blessed beyond contemplation you know
again I credit the team with that and
the timing and the vision and luck and
all those things but I'm not gonna go
back and say it was you know a great
decision and likewise this is the harder
part likewise
you know I think it's really important
that we don't you know we don't read our
own press right we don't get too excited
about great outcomes where maybe the the
decisions that led to them or the
journey along the way was you know was
less than worthy and that makes a lot of
sense there's a quote in your book about
the strongman that that echoes what you
just said which I thought was so
powerful I want to read it exactly as it
is the strongman savers the first step
he is impatient for it craves it as long
as he strives valiantly with his first
step he has won what do you mean by that
we are you know so often our own worst
enemies right we we keep ourselves uh
you know off the stage you know for fear
of bad reviews and don't even realize
that you know in the process we're you
know forgetting how to dance and losing
the joining right and it's just such a
shame you know for me that first step of
the strong man to me kind of conveys
encompasses you know sort of victory
over that critic right that's where
you've said look maybe this is crazy
maybe it's not maybe you know maybe
everybody thinks I'm you know way off
base here whatever all the what-ifs
although you know why not why I should
watch whatever I put all that aside and
I have committed to you know enter the
arena
and that is the defining moment I think
for the strong man and well I I think
when we're honest with ourselves and
when we start to recognize significance
in moments like that in our lives when
we start to say well if I did this it
would be it's a big move right and it
doesn't have to be a huge move
financially or economic sense to anyone
else why it's a big move it's a big move
for you it's important to pay attention
to those feelings because often that's
that's the strong man inside trying to
tell you we can do this
you know we let's get over this you know
our fears let's get over our you know
our self-doubt and let's let's do this
you've talked earlier about how people
miss perceive things they miss perceive
success and that the critic will even
change the definition of success what is
an anchor point of vision of success is
there something that's Universal that
you think applies to everybody or is
there a process to defining success in a
way that will resonate I don't think so
personally I think you know Who am I
to even begin to contemplate what
someone else should or should not aspire
to do with their time or their lives or
whatever right we're all masters of our
own universes right alone in our own
worlds and and I you know I don't
purport to tell anyone how they should
behave or what they should aspire to or
what success should be however however I
certainly think everybody you know
should should figure it out you you
should figure it out for yourself
because time is going to go by either
way and you could live a life of
happenstance of reaction
you know or you can take some time to
figure out how you want to spend your
time who you want to be who you want to
be at work you know you want to be as a
parent who you want to be as a spouse
and on and on and on and and you know
you can you can try to be that person
and you can try to live that life so
that's what I have in mind when I say
you know you you really should define
your success your purpose and and labor
towards it well let's get really
specific then so you had such a diverse
life one I'll just walk through a few
why not you have success in Hollywood
but you immediately stop you then have
success at law that is just on another
planet and you stopped obviously the
tech firm ended up doing very well but
as far as I know you moved out of that
fairly rapidly so all of these things
like you've been able to break free of
the trap that most people get into which
is there's momentum in their life
they're succeeding everyone says they're
crazy when they go to leave but you've
done that over and over and over so you
obviously are way in touch with your
balance sheet so like what walk us
through one or two of those and really
say like leaving law
I'm gonna guess was the hardest one like
you'd so that was a tough invested like
how what did you walk through what were
the I've got this going but not this so
that was a tough one you know unless and
until I actually thought about it
rationally illogically right and then it
ran and it was pretty obvious what sure
those are often the hardest decisions to
make right but so you know here I was I
had been blessed to have phenomenal
experiences in law in the public sector
right working for the Justice Department
clerking for a couple US Supreme Court
justices I loved that and then I sort of
took the easy path the direct path you
accepted a phenomenal cushy job at a
very fancy elite law firm international
law firm and parents were very very
proud I had gorgeous business cars and a
skyscraper office and all that but you
know I was expected to you know to work
to build you know 60 70 80 crazy hours
every week and I was involved in kind of
litigation as warfare with a constant
view towards the Billings of the law
firm and and it just wasn't the way I
wanted to practice law
a lot of people warn people I wanted to
practice a lot with I certainly didn't
want to spend you know 100 hours a week
doing it just none of that made any
sense so huh everybody thought I was
completely nuts and maybe they're right
but you know the more I thought about it
the more I said look you know nothing is
permanent in life there's nothing that
says if I ever want to practice law
again I can't go back to it or in some
other capacity or you know some other
city or whatever but you know for now
what's important to me and what am I
looking to accomplish in my life going
back to that balance sheet and at that
point my life really by far above all
else you know we was it was really
quality of life and time with my family
got the talking with my roommate Zack as
you mentioned and and you know we
thought hey let's buy a small business
together and he would help me you know
you pay for most of it but he would keep
his fancy day job I leave behind my
fancy day job and run it and you know
what could possibly go wrong so that was
the thesis I guess you would say that
brought us to Orlando and that you know
sort of took me to take the helm as the
first chief executive officer of our
residential construction subcontractor
and of course you know they say man
plans God laughs didn't it didn't turn
out quite that way
but that was a good decision at the time
to leave law that was the right decision
for me and my family so then the
construction company blows up you make a
lot of right decisions I'm sure you'd
tribute it a lot obviously to the team
but to luck as well yes but now things
are going well and instead of just
continuing to scale it and grow it you
decide that you want to back off again a
pretty atypical choice well so look you
know again my goal was quality of life
for my family you've said that happiness
is a choice sure in what way how do we
choose to be happy
everything's our choice every moment of
your life is a choice how do you want to
spend that moment who do you want to be
it is not the circumstances we confront
that dictate the lives we experience it
just cannot be there are counter
examples all over the place I'm just a
blind guy like that's no big deal but
you think about your prisoners of war
who endure the most unspeakable of you
know human atrocities Nazi concentration
camp survivors and on and on on and you
find examples of remarkable people who
despite these circumstances make a
choice to find purpose in life
to find joy to be a source of strength
for others in their lives and you know
these these shining folks you know again
to my mind prove categorically it's not
the circumstances we confront that
dictate how we you know the lies of
experience so choose to be happy
literally in every moment and again I'm
not saying it's easy again and I'm not
you know I'm not saying so it's easy for
me but it's certainly a worthwhile
endeavor I mean you know you spill on
yourself or you you knock something over
or you know you're late for a meeting
there you know it can be rail you it can
be you know something quote-unquote
awful would you know meanwhile most of
the world is worried about you know
health care and food and clothing but
you know or you can choose to laugh
about it and you can choose to have fun
with it you can choose to let it go and
again every I think every moment is is
you know an amalgam of of precisely
those choices and I think it behooves us
to spend some time thinking about our
answers and do you have a process or a
mantra or is it as simple as choosing to
laugh when you want to do anything else
so you actually manifest that happiness
it's not simple I don't think there's
much in life that simple everything's
nuanced it really just sort of it
depends on on the context here in times
of crisis is a little different than if
you're a failure and other sorts of
things so there's some nuances there and
then you know other strategies I think
we can bring to bear to look at things
like luck in our lives and the
fundamental idea like I said is you know
you're the master of your reality and
you know once you buy that once you're
willing to take responsibility for the
fact that you know you are literally
creating the life you are experiencing
the reality you know your reality is
your creation again the rest is details
and so getting into some of those
details at least of that process so
we're living in a reality that we create
which I buy into more deeply than you
can imagine literally my entire company
is predicated on that notion the success
I've had in life is as a result of
realizing that in the same way that you
have what are what are the processes of
making that subconscious process right
because we're not consciously creating
this virtual reality it's happening
subconsciously so how do we take
conscious control of that or what are
the insertion points to grab on to
something like that so that we can begin
to construct a reality that's more
useful sure so you know how to strip
away some of the
you know some of the noise some of the
some of the chaos let's take you know
again this notion of the critic and and
this notion of the way we you know can
keep ourselves off the stage an hour can
be our own you know worst enemies in
terms of our fear of failure
you know there's several at several sort
of key moments in my life there were two
really simple questions that I've used
to try to take back control of my
reality in those situations you know one
being what is it truly that I aim to
accomplish I think very often when we
find ourselves debilitated by you know
fear of failure that that you know that
critic anxiety you know whatever it can
be a relief to say well wait a minute I
am loading so much junk onto this on to
what's going on here and to what's at
stake let me just take a step back and
remind myself what am I in this for
right what am I trying to accomplish
what you know what what is my endeavor
here what's my purpose and oftentimes in
my experience once when you do that
there's kind of a big sigh of relief oh
yeah it really isn't all that big a deal
this isn't so bad
and the second one really is is uh
what's my best next step right let's
focus on today this moment right now in
truth that's all there ever is right so
we spent a lot of time on doom and gloom
future foreboding you know awful izing
and not enough time on this moment right
now what is my best next step what can I
do right now to make progress and you
know the truth of the matter is the
world changes you know a million times a
day you're gonna change a million times
a day who knows what's gonna happen on
the journey from you know from A to Z
just focus on getting from A to B and
get that done and we'll worry about coz
later I love that notion of taking
action and strength and you in the book
you have an amazing quote about that
that I want to read which is strength on
exercised will atrophy in action makes
us weaker so flipping that and thinking
about something else you said in the
book which is there is no blindness with
the capital B only fire hydrants which I
thought was so amazing like how do you
use those concepts of encouraging
yourself to be strong to take action
with that notion of and in fact define
what does it mean when you say there's
no capital B blindness only fire
hydrants so I was diagnosed with my
binding disease when I was 13 before I
was aware of any symptoms so you know
those awful eyes I spoke of earlier that
you know that awful sort of a narrative
I told myself about how it would be the
you know the ruin of my life
you know I spent three four years really
really feeling that and that was were
some some awful years there it was easy
to have this perspective or without even
knowing it I have this sort of
perspective of even blindness capital B
to your point this amorphous force this
sort of you can't describe it it's this
is this foreboding it's it's this awful
future it's this monster that's gonna
you know track me down and destroy my
life and that's not a very productive
way to think about charge that is not a
you know a construct that's susceptible
to much by way of progress concrete
progress you mentioned the fire hydrants
you know I went to meet with an
occupational therapist at one point when
I still had a great deal of useful sight
but well before had it ever started
using a cane and I was prepared to talk
about you know blindness capital B I
assumed you know she was the expert on
you know low vision and going blind and
we were gonna be talking about you know
tomorrow in the future and this awful
you know fate and she dove in and said
well do you use a cane and I said no and
she said well do you ever hurt yourself
I said of course I hurt myself right I
walked into a fire hydrant a couple days
ago and this and that
and you know it wasn't until she had to
literally spell it out for me like do
you realize that if you did learn to use
a cane you wouldn't bump into things and
hurt yourself that it just kind of
clicked for me and I was like god that's
really all this boils down to it's it's
a million small details like that which
aren't so bad and they're
straightforward and they're certainly
susceptible to some type of progress but
you know you can you can look at it as
blindness capital B this again amorphous
force or you can look at it as nothing
more than this oscillation of discrete
practical challenges and the fact is
every single you know human being every
human faces their own discrete
constellation of a challenge right it's
part of the human condition there's
nothing special or unique in
these these big challenges or obstacles
but how we handle it and how it's used
to look at them that makes all the
difference in the world talk to me about
the difference between effort and
results what's the difference which one
matters oh effort absolutely effort
matters a lot more than results results
are the factor of a lot more things luck
being a big one timing circumstance who
knows like we were saying earlier you
know there are you know there's there
stories of countless entrepreneurs who
great vision great Drive worked hard you
know tried to make it happen and it just
it didn't work out that's the nature of
the beast well do you do say those
people you know waste of their time you
see their failure didn't know they
worked hard they say I strove towards a
worthy pursuit right they made maybe
found fulfillment and who they are
expression of their best self okay
didn't work out you know that's such as
life and again the opposite is true too
there are a lot of terrible people in
this world who seem to achieve what we
we loosely call success right whatever
that means
financial success popularity celebrity
whatever you want to call and you know
there are terrible people who without
much by way of of effort or character
you know arrived at these outcomes so
what so one thing that you've had to go
through that I think would be really
hard for most people and not necessarily
that exact thing but when you're losing
something or if you're overweight or if
you're living with your mom like
whatever your thing is where you feel
unworthy and you had said that you
didn't think you would ever get married
didn't think you would ever have kids
because you weren't worthy of love you
didn't you didn't think you would ever
love and respect yourself so I'll get
somebody else Levin respect you so how
did you get over that you know really in
that in that it's sort of in that moment
of Epiphany when I met with that
occupational therapist Chris and I
started to think more about the cane and
less about you know blindness capital B
I it was it was a liberating experience
was an empowering experience started to
talked about all sorts of practical
solutions I could employ to make my life
a little easier a little better and you
know that that's when it really you know
hit me well you know first and foremost
that everything I thought I knew about
going
being blonde was was these awful eyes
that's when I was able to make that
connection between this experience of
sight we have this virtual reality that
we experience as truth and I said well
wait a minute isn't that kind of exactly
what I did with my fears and there
shortly thereafter kind of in that
realization I guess was was this idea
that life is choice and I said if you
keep if you tell yourself you're gonna
live this small unremarkable pathetic
life and you're you know not gonna love
or respect yourself and you know you're
not gonna find a mate know you can make
that happen for yourself or you can
choose to have a different life that is
so powerful and when people understand
that you're gonna become what you
believe about you so much you talked a
lot about that in the book the
self-fulfilling prophecy absolutely how
is it that like what are you gonna teach
your kids about self fulfilling
prophecies what should they be telling
themselves how should they be thinking
like if somebody watching this wants to
empower themselves are there things that
are like you could just plug and play
this belief that thing you repeat
whatever sure so you know you know again
throughout the book I talked about you
know this idea in different in different
contexts or concepts so you know
struggling with insecurity struggling
with how we perceive ourselves now
others perceive us for example you know
we talked a little bit about luck we
talked about fear and in different
contexts or the specifics vary you know
that said at the core really is a
commitment to introspection right
introspection I think is a lost art we
can know everything that's going on with
everybody every single one of our
quote-unquote friends and secondary
friends and tertiary friends through
Facebook and LinkedIn and you know but
it really have no idea what's going on
with ourselves in our own minds and
hearts and that's crazy to me
that's absolutely crazy but so
introspection I think is where it all
begins
a commitment to talk to yourself to
figure out you know where you're at what
you're thinking what you're telling
yourself what decisions are making and
why and the rest really flows from that
let's talk about communication sure so
what you've done with your company
culture is pretty staggering and you
obviously have and I've been very aware
of it in this interview as well which
total side note here for a second then
I'll get to that question sure do you
intentionally communicate with me with
your eyes
well yes I guess it's the shorter
because you look me dead in my
eye and literally through this whole
interview I have to keep going he's
blind he's not seeing you nod like yeah
and I find myself giving you those micro
expressions that we would normally
communicate with right because it is so
convincing when you help me I'm like is
he for real Brian like somebody Tessa's
guy I've had I've had people insist that
I could see and then I was pretending to
be it's compelling man is awesome
because I'm like you ought you got me
tell you all the advantages that the
pretending to be blind it's just I mean
there's no end to how convenient my day
is if I live is a blindness it's just
great nope so I grew up with sight and I
grew up you know acting as well and so
I'm expressive and I haven't lost that
with my son with the loss of my sight so
you know I do look at people I know
where you are because I hear where you
know where your voice is coming from
it's amazing what you pick up from from
your ears if you if you pay attention my
kids know that I know when they're
looking at me and when they're not
wow so I'll say you know what one of my
sons in particular I love it although
when he's not looking at me when I'm
talking to him I'll say like are you
looking at me and then they'll look at
me in a go yeah yeah dad I'm looking at
you I'm like okay were you looking at me
no I wasn't it's like the answer
literally the question yeah but but so I
do probably get more information about
what's going on with you than you would
think
yeah it's it's really impressive quite
frankly and it made me think about what
you're doing in your company and how
you'll have you'll be talking to them
and have to remind them hey I can't see
if you're nodding and that that ended up
becoming this incredibly advantageous
thing because people had to really put
words to how they felt
I really there were times when I
stressed out a lot I was anxious about
the fact that you know I thought maybe
my blindness was a burden on my team and
a burden on my company because you know
we get in these meetings and someone
makes a point and you know and then
silence I don't hear a thing I'm like
well what do we think silence again then
I gotta be well guys are you nodding you
know oh yeah sorry we're not in you know
we forget that you can't see
haha yeah it's yep still can't see that
hasn't changed but you know and it was
again it was awkward but I thought like
again eyes wide open hold yourself
accountable well maybe it is awkward
maybe you're insecure about it maybe
you're projecting yeah let's go through
the steps here well this there's a
practical solution here is it pretty
important that you communicate with your
team and you understand what they're
saying
yeah that's pretty important is it worth
the effort to communicate you know
orally yeah it's worth that effort so
okay uh what next time this happens you
know note to self
next time they're all nodding or
whatever I'm gonna say okay you know
what guys let's go around the table I'm
gonna ask each of you one at a time just
say yes or no and that was the aha
moment because you know of course first
time I did it you know you agree or
disagree everyone knots well folks I
can't see let's go around the table you
assume if everybody nodded everybody's
gonna say yes right never happened once
you get up well that's not it yes you
know well let's talk about and you you
wind up having an hour-long conversation
that winds up being you know critical to
the development of the team the growth
of the business whatever that you might
have skipped entirely if you had just
left it at a knot so ultimately I came
to learn that the the anxiety the
awkwardness the tension was not born of
my blindness but was kind of a necessary
byproduct of true meaningful
communication particularly in the
workplace context right where everyone
wants to succeed we valued you know your
livelihoods at stake and so it's not a
natural thing again you know sometimes
we're sending you sometimes you know
true and meaningful communication is not
is not the defaults not the natural
thing but if you can inspire a team
encourage a team show a team how to
relate at that level there's nothing you
can't do and I know you say and it was
one of your principles is that that's
alive but you got to tell yourself that
which I agree with yeah it's like so
powerful
you've said that fear rushes into the
oh yeah how do we get rid of the unknown
if it isn't by filling it with fear
well information helps fear again is
this evolutionary response there are
some helpful reasons to freak out like
for example if it's a you know vicious
animal that's about to eat you and your
caveman or whatever even if you've never
seen this thing before it's probably
good idea to say I should get running
but so how do you overcome that we'll
step one again
introspection awareness realize that you
know you're one you're afraid and to do
a you know careful dissection what do
you know what do you not know and then
the most critical bucket is what do you
think you know because that's where we
get ourselves into a ton of trouble the
things we think we know that we really
don't so it's a shame that fear often no
just at that moment when we face the
greatest need to to take in new
information right to thrive to transcend
you know that's really when fear will it
will be to retreat deep inside our minds
but that's when you know again it's it's
your choice to succumb or to overcome
all right before I ask my last question
where can these guys find you online the
easiest place to find me is just my
website litski calm which is my last
name li d s KY calm I've got a blog
there a podcast you can find my book my
TED talk but the one thing that I asked
folks is if any of this means anything
of you
and/or you learn more or read the book
and any of that means anything of you
please let me know what you think you
can provide feedback directly on the
website I read every single submission
and and that's why I do this so so
please let me know we think it's
incredible alright my last question is
what is the impact that you want to have
on the world well first and foremost I
guess that the if I gotta have is I want
to leave this world with four happy
thriving children and I mean I want that
desperately beyond that you know I I
feel that I was I've been blessed with
this vision I have Morna blindness and
and the more people I can share it with
and the more impact it could have in
their lives in helping them to you know
choose who they want to be that's a real
gift to Isaac thank you so much for
coming to do incredible for guys I'm
telling you right now his book eyes wide
open you're going to want to read it is
absolutely incredible it really is a
life philosophy about not letting the
unn
be filled with fear about really facing
the truth and asking yourself like he
said what is the most optimal decision
that I can make action that I could take
right now in order to move myself
forward it is absolutely incredible the
amount of vulnerability that he shows in
the book the way that his mind works
understanding that we live in this
virtual reality and that means that you
have control and my favorite that
everything is a choice I hope you guys
heard that I hope you heard that you can
choose even happiness that there are
steps it is not easy but it is a process
that you can follow in order to actually
embody that and experience that in your
life read his book it's literally an
instruction manual on how to figure
these things out it's absolutely
incredible it really is an insanely
powerful book I cannot recommend it
highly enough alright guys if you
haven't already be sure to subscribe and
until next time my friends be legendary
take care hey everybody thank you so
much for watching and being a part of
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