Kind: captions
Language: en
everybody welcome to another episode of
AMA live I am your host Tom bill you but
it's not live so technically just
welcome to an AMA I'm so used to saying
that and I'm gonna be taking your
questions because I'm traveling this
weekend we have an amazing event I'm
gonna be in Chicago at the Comic Con
there we continue to beef up this
company from a content creation
standpoint so if you're in the Chicago
area by the way be sure to say what's up
hit me up on social we'll find each
other I don't have a booth this time so
we're just gonna have to find each other
all right first question without further
ado is from plastic funnel that's quite
the name is your answer to coping with
the feeling of being a fraud in your
answer that makes a lot more sense in
your answer to coping with the feeling
of being a fraud you sound like a madman
in your hunger to learn on a long on a
long enough timeline you will win but
where do you draw the line between a
self reinforced delusion that is
strategically useful and not useful it's
a great question so this is something
that you have to get really good at
being able to hold two competing ideas
in your head at the same time being able
to feel like I really have this I've got
it I know what I'm doing I'm moving
forward full steam ahead
and checking yourself and making sure
that that confidence isn't spilling over
into destructive delusion I won't even
say to monitor it just to make sure that
it's not spilling over into delusion
because almost certainly if you've never
done something before to believe that
you can is pure delusion to believe you
can learn on the other hand is not but
that's where you've got to have that
balance you've really got to believe
that you're gonna pull this off you're
gonna figure it out that somehow someway
that you're gonna be the one that
figures out when nobody else could
figure out and I'll say that really is
delusional statistically speaking
certainly and you have to then check
that against okay where where is the the
borders of usability here it's good that
I'm thinking like that it's good that I
have the energy it's good and this is
the most important part that I have the
willingness to act decisively which is
where most people fall down but you
really do have to then check yourself
and say okay where are my points of
weakness and what I find is a lot of
times what you need over here on the I
can do this side is
a quiet self-belief that's inside you
you don't have to trumpet that a lot but
you need that quiet self-belief what you
need to get other people rallied around
you is they need to see decisiveness
they need to see certainty there is so
much intoxication to certainty so now
we've got those things we believe in
ourselves our ability to learn and adapt
cool our team believes that we that we
believe we know what we're doing awesome
and they can get excited by that
certainty the clarity of vision they
know exactly how to execute there's no
ambiguity there's no confusion those are
the things that kill teams then on the
other hand we have an ability to very
clearly articulate to ourselves if
nobody else but oftentimes I do involve
the team on this to articulate to
ourselves what our weakest points are
and what the parts in the puzzle that
we're trying to solve for
now the reason I'm able to involve the
team in that is because they can see
that I'm not wavering on my certainty of
what to do
so I'm saying do this go here talk to
this person say this get that think
about it like this then over here I can
say okay and now we're gonna flip it
over we're gonna look at the underbelly
of the strategy and see if we're
actually right and I'll walk people
through my logic now this is where if
your logic isn't sound your team is
gonna revolt so my thing is by the time
I'm talking to the team and certainly by
the time that I'm revealing my soft
underbelly I have thought about this so
much that I really really have the issue
conceptualized and as long as there's a
logical through line in my plan that the
team can hold on to they'll go okay I
dig it his logic makes sense and the
punchline of his logic is go do this for
now we're gonna revisit it we're gonna
come check back so there's a
self-awareness in the process of knowing
I could be wrong
I'm always gonna be checking myself I'm
gonna be looking to see if those things
that I'm telling team to go do if
they're actually revealing or giving us
results or not and if they're not then
we're going to adjust strategy and
because I've told everybody where we're
at but I've kept everybody focused with
the certainty the clarity the
decisiveness then other voices can be
heard we're constantly looking and
checking at that but this process of
doing what they call red team blue team
where your act
we trying to pick holes in your the the
way your plan what you're actually
executing those voices have been in the
mix they feel like they're being heard
and that's another critical part to
keeping the team going okay so there it
is all right ray Paulus how do you limit
yourself especially to new opportunities
often times they get overloaded with the
responsibility of each new opportunity
okay
eighty percent of business is knowing
what not to do that's the really hard
part most people have no dearth of
opportunities and I think that that has
certainly been true in my life I think
that that's certainly true for most
people the real hard part is being in
that room of the thousand doors and
knowing which doors to close so you have
to get really good at creating certainty
at being decisive at being willing to
take a step and when it comes to that
honestly the thing that I've noticed
most is just a willingness I'm trying to
survive the tail end of an illness here
the willingness to make a decision even
when you don't have all the information
that's really where we separate the
people that go on to win from the people
that just stand still because remember
the most data rich information stream is
action whether that action is a win or a
loss is someone irrelevant the whole
point is you have to be moving forward
you have to be acting decisively because
that gives you that data rich
information stream most people are so
terrified to make a mistake they're so
paralyzed by indecision because they
don't know which is right that they
never make a decision they never hit
that data rich stream and they don't
learn very fast and so they move 10
times 20 times a hundred times more
slowly than the next person who's
willing to act who's willing to make
mistakes who's not afraid to look stupid
so that's the key
as I'm sure you've heard said the only
thing we have to fear is fear itself
I will modify that and say the only
thing that we have to fear is indecision
man this cough is like really messing
with me all right I had to give a talk
today at Google and for the first like
10 minutes I sounded just like this like
I'm dying and then it wears off so let
me just bear with me I'll make sure I
give you nuggets of gold
yeah Conner is gonna hate his job today
all right next question David beer I
have a question about how you research
people you odd you mentioned how deep
you go understanding their world but how
deep do you really go specifically what
is your step-by-step process I'm
laughing at myself here and how much
time do you spend on it all right so I
really do go deep and I spend probably
average 10 to 12 hours on a main episode
guest that's reading their book it's
watching all of their videos and doing
all of that the key thing that I do and
this is where there's really two things
that I do that I think really separate
my style number one I follow my
fascinations and oftentimes my
fascination will lead me to look up
something really obscure and in doing
that I stumble upon oftentimes like a
real piece of humanity and that's where
people really really end up connecting
with the guests and certainly that's
where the guest ends up connecting with
me and don't underestimate the power of
the guest connecting with me and then
being willing to lower their guard and
that's why a lot of times people say
that I get something out of people that
other people don't because the guest
feels very safe and that that's a really
critical part of my interview style so
one example of this was with
Seth Godin and I came across this tidbit
where he said I once cried when Leonard
Nimoy died and I thought well that's so
weird like what would make him cry about
that what is that and so going down that
rabbit hole and trying to figure out
what his relationship is reading some of
his blog articles around that around
characters narration the difference
between Star Wars and and Star Trek and
you really start to get an understanding
of where he might go now I don't always
live by the following maxim but this may
be one of the most important things if
you're trying to copy my interview style
one of the most important things to know
is I try never to ask a question to
which I don't already know the answer
now hopefully does it feel that way
hopefully it feels very spontaneous
onset but the reality is I'm trying to
take the interview somewhere and when
it's something that really fascinates me
I want to understand why they say that
and the reason I understand why they've
said the saying that fascinates me
reason I need to understand that excuse
me is because I need to know if their
answers gonna be valuable to you the
audience that's that's huge right my
obligation is to you guys my obligation
is to figure out how do I take this
person somewhere where they a haven't
already said this that thing a thousand
times and then be that when you hear
this new piece of information that they
have they are actually going to be
interested so I'm always looking for
things that you guys can adapt into your
own life and whenever something is an
operational level belief system then I'm
really excited so in a nutshell those
are the things that I'm really trying to
do I'm trying to follow my own
fascination to make sure that I'm really
interested in what they're saying so
that I can be super authentic on set
that they will feel the day will feel
really heard and understood Connie
you're gonna have to cut all these out
of them it's just getting fun crazy
yeah so I want them to feel heard and
understood I want there to be a real
connection I want to be going a layer
deeper than anybody else and I want to
know I know how they're gonna answer
that question so that I can follow it up
with another question or if they say
something and it takes us into new
territory maybe even my response catches
me off guard on set to something they
say and now we go somewhere new then I
know how to bring it back because I know
all the areas that I want to touch on
because I really have a 360 degree view
of the person all right so I think
that's enough on that jenna robinson i'm
currently reading mastery and there's a
part where robert green says in your 20s
you should go through an apprenticeship
phase does this contradict your idea of
having a super specific goal where you
can map out every zigzag how would you
do that when you're in this experimental
phase of your life when you're trying to
figure out what career you want so it
doesn't contradict it they're just
different parts of your life different
times in your life and the one of the
most powerful parts of the mastery phase
is that you've I really identified what
you want to do and once you've
identified what you want to do going and
working with the master is one of the
ways to really rapidly gain the skills
you need so there's two parts there's
the exploratory phase where you're not
sure what you want to do and I wouldn't
try to prematurely optimize by going
down the path of gaining mastery we just
try to experience it a lot of things I
would play with them I would dabble and
see which one really strikes your fancy
once you know which one really strikes
your fancy you're super interested
that's the path you want to go down you
may be even begun going down the process
of gaining mastery already and you
realize I love this I love this enough
to put in the work I believe in what its
gonna bring to me in terms of what
mission it's going to allow me to
accomplish then you go and engage with a
master and you pour yourself into that
study and working with them and in doing
so they're gonna shorten your learning
curve which is incredibly incredibly
powerful so spending your 20s in that
phase if you've already gotten
the point where you know that's what you
want to do then that's amazing if it
takes you into your 30s so be it
but before you start optimizing which is
what you're doing with the master you
want to make sure that you first know
that that really is the area that you
want to go down all right day-day many
people do not execute on their goals
because they lack a clear vision of all
of their pathways to success how did you
go about finding option C and D instead
of just choosing a and B well it's not
really how I think about it if I'm
honest so what I do is I play a game
called no [ __ ] what would it take
and I try to work backwards from success
and I say that I'm working backwards in
a slightly different way than I normally
mean it what I'm talking about is I find
a path where anybody you tell would be
like yeah well 100% that would work no
one would do it it's crazy it's not
technologically feasible whatever thing
they say then after that but yes if you
could do that that would work like if I
said you had to commute you know 20
miles in LA and you had to do it in less
than 30 minutes at rush hour well what
would you do you would have to fly in a
helicopter everybody would say yep that
would work you can't afford it but that
would work and then you can work
backwards from there and you see people
doing things like building drones now
they carry a single person they worked
with the FAA to actually get them legal
so that's how something like that is
really going to work is somebody started
from well I know what success looks like
now it becomes how do we make a feasible
version of that rather than what most
people do which is think of where they
are today and think how impossible it
would be to get there in their car they
first started a car and then they start
thinking maybe they would do a
motorcycle okay that's working from
failure and trying to work forward
instead work from success something you
know guaranteed home run it works and
then look at what are the things that
stand in your way and if some of the
things that stand in your way in the
case of a helicopter cost then it
becomes a question of can you reduce the
cost of that method so we talked about
this before we started quest how would
we end metabolic disease well we knew if
we could make food that people chose
based on taste and it happened to be
good for them then it would work because
we'd be leveraging
people's own behaviors against them
their desire to eat hyper palatable
foods packaged convenience
well marketed all that stuff that's
what's driving eating behavior so if we
could take advantage of that and then
just slide in something that was
actually good for you then we really had
a shot doing the same thing here at
impact theory I know to get the average
person to adopt an empowering belief
system it has to come in the form of
entertainment has to be someone
invisible it's got to be baked into the
cultural subconscious and that over time
people just begin to think like that
so that's why we're doing it that way so
more than I'm you know I'm thinking oh
here's Path number one I'm thinking
what's the most real what's the most
realistic plausible path and then does
it meet other criteria can it be
monetized am I gonna have fun am i
passionate about both the path and the
goal so all of those things play into it
as well all right Josh Moran Ian I
realized that I don't have a super
specific goal but I have a clear vision
of what my goal looks like I know I am
going to be leading a team company in an
industry I'm passionate about my
question is how can I specify my goal
without limiting my path to get where I
want in my career how can I specify my
goal without limiting my paths yeah so
the the problem is you don't actually
know what your goal looks like so this
is the the the quintessential question I
get asked is somebody who says that they
have a clear vision of their goal but
then what they describe is something as
super vague as I know I'm gonna be
leading a team company in an industry
that I'm passionate about
okay please understand that is a
hopelessly vague statement like that is
vague in the most aggressive way
possible and it's the vagaries of that
that then create the problem so because
you don't know what to execute against
you don't know what kind of products to
make you don't know who your consumers
are so when doing a business we're doing
anything in life you you really have to
get down to the level of just absolutely
ridiculous hyper specificity so the
example that I always use is of the
Olympics the the goal that you have is
as Vegas saying I want to win a gold
medal so first of all you want to win a
gold medal in what the Olympics okay
cool you want to win an Olympic gold
medal winter or summer okay summer
tennis swimming like what is it swimming
okay great do you want to do the
breaststroke do you want to do the
medley like what exactly is it until you
know the very specific event in the
sport in the games that you want to play
you're not going to know how you should
train and at the end of the day it's the
training it's the acquisition of skills
that's really what you're trying to get
down to that's why you need the hyper
degree of specificity because without
that you can't a drive forward you can't
acquire the right skills and B if you
don't know exactly where you're going
then you'll never know if you're making
progress so when you have a goal that's
super vague like I want to drive around
in my car okay great like you're driving
around in your car and now what you
don't know whether you're going in the
right direction you don't know if you're
making any progress so you really have
to pin this stuff down to a just an
insanely clear and specific place once
you have that then you'll know what you
should be training in and whether or not
you're making progress
Stephen Shrem Beck I've been working on
radios radical truth principle for two
months now but radical transparency is a
huge hurdle how do I practice radical
transparency without pissing off
everyone in my life who doesn't get it
do I need to ask permission to be honest
is that good enough I will say that this
is near impossible to do with everyone
in your life if people don't buy into it
it is absolutely not gonna work one read
a Leo's principles is written within the
context of people who have agreed to be
a part of a team so whether it's at a
job I think you can get people to agree
there if it's in your immediate family
and get people to agree there but once
it starts going farther than that like
unless you have a soccer team or
something where you can actually get
people to come together you can present
the idea and see if they buy into it
it's pretty hard to abide by radio's
principles without people actually
buying into that so that's first and
foremost it's
ought to be applied to a group that will
actually buy into it it really won't
work it'll be totally dysfunctional for
you to just try to do it now you can
live your life by principles and you can
be radically honest and transparent
about yourself you can even decide that
you want to be radically transparent
with other people and you can train them
to only ask you questions if they really
want to know the truth but what you've
got to ask is what do you hope to get
out of that because the people haven't
bought in to radical transparency you
will come across like a jerk it won't be
read well chances are they're going to
diminish the frequency with which they
invite you to be a part of the group but
if you're okay with that if it's not
groups that you want to be a part of if
you only want to be around people that
are living in principles and maybe
that's perfectly fine but you need to
really think through exactly what it is
you're trying to get and I would say
that ultimately Ray Dalio zhh principles
are specifically for people who are in a
group that will all buy in alright
mischief Co I started an online business
a year ago and things were going really
well
recently sales have dropped to the point
where I'm quickly eating my way into my
savings every month I don't know if I
should quit this business and start a
new one go back to a nine-to-five or
stick this out what advice do you have
for someone who's struggling with a
rough time in their business to me this
all comes down to none of those are
wrong answers so this all comes down to
what do you really want like what's your
identity what's your mission in life
what are you really trying to accomplish
so if that business is just the path on
a way to a bigger goal that you believe
in with all of your heart and soul then
it might be worth shutting that one down
and starting something new it might be
worth buckling down and figuring out
where you're going wrong using austerity
measures in your company cutting off
every ounce of fat getting super lean
figuring out what's happened in the
marketplace pivoting like finding that
solving that problem if you're not
emotionally hung up on the money and
having to step backwards financially
like if you can really hunker down and
solve that problem it could be beautiful
maybe some of the most powerful lessons
that you'll learn in business on the
flip side if you didn't notice the
changing in sales fast enough that
there's just a tsunami of debt on the
business or something and you can't get
out from under it then closing that
business down and starting something new
with the fresh knowledge and maybe
that's the way to go but it really all
comes down to
what exactly it is you're trying to
accomplish I know none of these are easy
and I know especially if you have that
in the business or you took money from
friends and family or something like
that it can be incredibly incredibly
stressful I'm not downplaying that but
just make sure that you're looking at
yourself on a long time horizon that
you're not judging yourself to the lens
of a moment and that you know what your
ultimate goal is and so if this business
is a failure but it teaches you
something that you needed in order to
actually get where you're ultimately
going and just to differentiate like for
instance with impact theory my mission
is to pull people out of the matrix to
give them an empowering belief system I
think the way to do that is through
social content and traditional narrative
content should I find that that isn't
right or that I'm not good at it and
that I'm not able to do what I want from
a business perspective with those two
paths and I have to pivot at some point
and do it another way
hey so be it I'll take my losses I'll
figure it out I'll regroup and I'll move
forward again but that all comes down to
me knowing where I'm altum Utley trying
to go I'm not altum Utley trying to
build the studio that's a very fun way
that I happen to think is the right way
but it's very possible that over time I
learned that that's not true and that I
have to pivot and do something different
and it just so happens that I'm more
passionate about the end result of
pulling people out of the matrix than I
am the struggle of building a studio so
building the studio is only worth me
risking my fortune and all of that
because I so believe in what I think
it's gonna let me do on a cultural
subconscious level embedding an
empowering belief system so if it didn't
have that then I wouldn't be doing it so
that's where that plays out so none of
those are bad like going back and taking
a nine-to-five there's no reason why
shouldn't like if that feels awesome
right now and you're like so tired
carrying all the responsibility on your
shoulders and it sounds awesome to go
find a company that you really believe
in they're really doing something you're
passionate about and they're good people
like go plug in man that's amazing
this is a know thyself moment and so
just really take careful assessment of
what your what your identity is what you
want it to be have compassion for
yourself and really plan for long term
fulfillment don't worry about whether
that business was a win or a loss on a
long enough timeline it's just really
not gonna matter all right next up Brian
Jacobs hi Tom you're doing an amazing
job of the show especially your
communication skills thank you
how did you learn to communicate so well
were there any certain books or people
that helped you learn how to use
appropriate language in effectively
communicating explanations or ideas to
others first yes I mean I've just read
so many books would be impossible to
list them out here but you can find my
top 27 now I think that it is at impact
theory calm head there and by the way
today's episode is brought to you by the
impact Theory logo shirt so head to shop
impact Theory calm right now to pick
yours up and remind yourself through
self signaling of what this whole
ecosystem and way of thinking is all
about but yeah a lot a lot a lot of
books like I said the 27 are there in
order that I think people should read
them beyond that just an insane amount
of practice and being willing to hear
feedback so I've been doing Speech and
Debate since I was like 14 years old
maybe 13 started in high school and just
really threw myself into that and you're
actually getting judged and critiqued
and you're getting feedback and from the
beginning I just had to take that
feedback and then as I've gotten older
as a leader really accepting your losses
accepting things you really mess up
allowing yourself to hear from employees
how you could be doing it better just
always lowering your defenses lowing
your ego hearing the hard things being
hungry to adjust and grow and get better
all of that is super key so when you
really want to know the truth when you
really hunger to understand what you're
doing wrong how you could be doing
something better that's when you're
really gonna start to win so make sure
that you actually want to know the truth
because the thing that you have just
forced into your life the thing that
lights you on fire emotionally is actual
improvement when you're lit on fire by
actual improvement and all your dopamine
and serotonin and come rushing in as a
result of actual improvement suddenly a
hunger to hear the truth even when is
harsh that's how you get better just
practice practice practice practice
alright anonymous how do you go about
removing people from your life who you
feel are not in line with your
principles and lifestyle how do you wean
them out of your life without being a
total [ __ ] about it so my thing is
honestly I just let space happen
naturally and space usually does happen
pretty naturally like everything in your
life if you want to build something new
don't focus on tearing down the ODE old
focus on building the new so rather than
worrying about eliminating old friends
from your ecosystem focus on building
new friends into your ecosystem go spend
time with those guys fill your life with
that with awesome stuff and then it's up
to you like exactly what you want to
tell people Vanessa van Edward says that
she thinks people should actually break
up with friends and actually have the
conversation to sit down people and just
say look I think we're in different
places in our lives and I don't think
this friendship makes sense anymore that
never hit me well and I think she is
brilliant but this is one place where
she and I disagree
just seems super awkward to me and
unnecessary and maybe this is a
superdude thing but the friendships in
my life that have evolved into something
else I've just let them evolve into
something else the reason that I do that
is I never know man we could involve
back in the same direction again and
having made some big thing about
breaking up with them just seems super
weird to me so I like leaving it open
and maybe we'll reconnect and plus
hopefully at least in the people in my
life the vast majority not all but the
vast majority of people self-love for
and so if we were to find common ground
again and be awesome so yeah I just let
time and space do its work alright time
for one more question
Daniel breeze hey Tom did you hey Tom
you mentioned that you finally figured
out how to read while working out how so
the key for me on this is there's only
certain types of things that I can read
while I'm working off I need to be
taking a lot of notes I can't do it so
it needs to be something like when I'm
reading for somebody coming on the show
because I read and swarms so I'm not so
worried about taking every little detail
in so if I'm doing a set and the sets
really intense and I miss you know 10 or
15 seconds of the book not a big deal
because I'm gonna listen to eight videos
or you know 15 videos on them talking
about the book anyway so I'm gonna get
that information from a thousand
different angles so it's basically
anything that I can read podcasts work
for this where it's like it's a flowy
conversation so as long as you're
getting say 80% you're getting most of
what you want to get versus what I'm
really trying to read like rate
those principles I would never read at a
first pass while working out she's too
information dense and I want to take
notes and you know I want to make sure
that I'm really focused on it and really
writing things down so it really comes
down to things like biographies where
it's not like I'm taking a lot of notes
per page or when I'm prepping for
somebody when and thusly I'm reading in
swarms or when I'm listening to a
podcast which is more conversational all
right there you have it
all right guys thank you so much for
joining me for today's episode forgive
me the beginning of this was really
weird cadence because I was coughing to
death hopefully we were able to edit a
lot of that out I'm at the tail end of a
really weird sickness that's been sort
of light emotionally hasn't been super
destructive but come with some pretty
heinous coughing so nonetheless thank
you for joining me again I'm travelling
this Friday which is why we had to do
this now if there are any comic book
fans that are interested in what we're
doing it is [ __ ] heating up over here
in the comic book side I'm super stoked
we're about to sign our first writer
very amped gonna be making an
announcement about the first book in
July dropping in in October it's all
gonna be good stuff revealing the
celebrity that's involved all of it got
to be amazing so if you're gonna be in
Chicago at the comic-con be sure to hit
me with a DM peeing me be great to
connect alright guys if you haven't
already be sure to subscribe and until
next time my friends be legendary
take care
[Music]