Kind: captions
Language: en
the greatest fear in modern times is
what other people think so our job is to
love others and not give a what
they think of us because we only get one
emotion at a time that's how our brain
works one emotion so our job is to
really find the right state that we want
to be in the right emotional place and
use that rather than let the brain win
and if that is untrained and
unconditioned it will win everybody
welcome to impact Theory our goal with
this show and company is to introduce
you to the people and ideas that will
help you actually execute on your dreams
all right today's guest is a
high-performance psychologist who has
worked with some of the world's most
accomplished athletes and performers
he's helped level up everyone from
Olympic gold medalist and MVPs in every
major sport to elite UFC fighters Red
Bull extreme athletes the US military
and the Super Bowl champion Seattle
Seahawks he's the guy you call in when
you absolutely positively must set the
skydiving world record by jumping out of
a helium balloon at the edge of space
and falling back to earth at faster than
the speed of sound or you decide you
want to become the first person to
survive jumping out of an airplane at
25,000 feet without a parachute no
matter what your discipline if you play
in rugged hostile and elite spaces he's
the man you bring in to help you build a
mindset for unparalleled achievement a
peer-reviewed published author with some
of the most usable insights into the
mind there is he's been featured by
virtually every high profile news outlet
around including NBC ESPN The Wall
Street Journal and The New York Times
his principles and teachings are so
sought-after that he and legendary NFL
coach Pete Carroll co-founded the
corporate training institute compete to
create to help some of the world's
largest and most prestigious companies
create winning cultures that foster
greatness and fulfillment their client
roster is the who's who of the fortune
500 and includes Microsoft Zynga and
Boeing so please help me in welcoming
the host of finding mastery one of the
most recognizable minds in the field of
optimal human performance dr. Michael
Gervais
great introduction good thank you man
yeah that was fun dude your story is
crazy like what you help people do is
really really extraordinary and that's
where I want to start like what it takes
to play at that elite level especially
around the framing of you said that
every great change starts with pain and
I found that really intriguing it feels
dark it feels heavy when you say that
but it's I that's been my experience
that it's accurate is that the reason
people change is because of pain the
reason we grow is because we get
uncomfortable and we embrace being
uncomfortable but being honest with the
pain that we feel is usually the prime
mover for people to do the work that is
necessary to push to the edge and in the
space of world leading athletics and
arts and business everybody works hard
right and some people work smarter but
everybody works hard so there's a
balance in modern time right now about
running to the edge and then properly
recovering so why would somebody run to
the edge and run to the edge of their
ability to their to the capacity that
they have within themselves so yes but
when we talk about capacity we're
talking about emotional capacity mental
capacity long gone are the days where
it's just physical capacity like you can
get your heart rate up relatively easily
and and that is the old way it's still
relevant but that was an old way to
think about capacity building that's not
the case anymore and what we do is we
spend time working to understand the
strengths of people we want to
understand where they want to go and how
they want to be on that going in their
life so that's like setting a vision I
want to go back to pain for a second I
have a quote which I thought was really
extraordinary this is from you the worst
thing we can do for our loved ones is to
try to reduce their pain yeah that
sounds surprising it doesn't from my
perspective now that would have been
absolutely shocking to me 15 years ago
what changed for you that was all the
stuff that you talked about a pain being
the motivator all of that all of my
success is predicated on misery period
and you talked about the need to you
don't use the words rock-bottom but I'll
use that cuz that's how it felt for me I
needed to hit rock bottom in order to
put in the work in order to be so
desperate that I had to let go of my old
way of thinking about myself I had a
fixed mindset and I didn't have these
words at the time but this is me now
looking back it was a binary choice
between depression or a growth mindset
and I didn't know if a growth mindset
was real I just knew it was different
than the depression that I was racing
towards so in that period that just was
the spark of like I was suffering so
much and laying on the floor of my
apartment and broke and hopeless and all
of that and just trying to figure out
how do I move forward from here so if
you hadn't said it at that moment I
would have said the the sole reason we
exist is to reduce the pain of our loved
ones yeah and okay so there's a
difference between pain and suffering
there is a difference between there
we're we're all suffering we all have
suffering we all have an emptiness or a
dark place or corners inside of our
spirit in our mind that are not
fulfilled and watered and full like we
we all can relate to that and when I'm
talking about pain I'm not necessarily
talking about suffering but
acknowledging our suffering being in
touch with the pain that's enough to say
when you're really honest that's enough
to say I can't do this I don't want to
do this anymore like this is not the
person I want to become and be on a
regular basis if that's the case if that
assumption is right then as a loved one
my job is to help you get real and
experience those places as often as you
can
so that you make that the declaration to
say no no that's not okay for me to feel
and be this way on a regular basis so
let me pull on that thread just a little
bit further it is healthy and necessary
to feel all of the human emotions but
when you ask people what do you want in
life most people say I want to be happy
wait hold on now if grandma dies do you
want to be happy that's it like really
when your child is sick do you want to
be happy no no I think the answer is
that we want to feel all of the human
experience to its fullest but never lose
ourself in it but to experience all of
it and so we're getting into the weeds
of some very esoteric and non scientific
thinking right now but the practice is
that if I care about you deeply the
mistake I can make in your life is to
help you feel like it's all okay like oh
it's okay it's okay that you're drinking
and driving and you killed a
fourteen-year-old that's no problem like
you'll do better next time
no the work is to say well what's this
like for you to feel that pain so you
make the commitment to say no no I can't
do this anymore
and that's when it becomes really real
interesting so that made me think about
standards and holding people to a
standard and loving them at the same
time which that's entirely stuff that I
hear you talk about and then knowing
your work with the Seahawks and coach
Carroll so this notion of relationship
based groups teams companies however you
want to think about it but how do you
simultaneously hold somebody to a
standard say you messed up and at the
same time I love them okay so that is
the the fabric that binds us right
I think I'm imagining for you the same
is we want to be around people that
somehow give us the sense that guy when
I'm around that person I don't know they
just I just feel better they make me
better somehow let's say it's you and me
and what I want to feel from you is that
you've got my back you understand me and
that when you're making decisions it's
not just for you it's for me as well and
so a rising tide floats all boats the
relationships that go wrong or sour is
if I'm on the side of this relationship
I'm like do I trust that he's making
these thoughts or moves because it's
right for him or me and though thus our
relationships are the one where it's
really just good for you and I'm just
casualty in your in your experience so
what we do a head
as we invest in the relationship so for
example the Seattle Seahawks the product
is football so just like a business
you've got products for your businesses
as well and but we are relationship
based organization is if coach care was
here he'd say that's how we run the
organization a relationship based
organization and the output is football
and that we found that to be incredibly
valuable because we don't do none of us
do this thing alone and if we're really
going to go the distance and really step
in to the frontier to do the amazingly
difficult challenging things we need to
lock arms to stay in the trenches long
enough and what happens for most people
is we lock arms we say oh yeah let's go
get it and then we lock arms and as soon
as it's hard the brain kicks in and a
the survival mechanisms in the brain are
stronger than the thriving mechanisms so
the survival mechanisms are very light
up and what do we do we save our own s
and we unlock our arms and we take care
of ourselves that is how people fray in
rugged and stressful environments
emotionally stressful environments we
unlock and so the extraordinary are able
to stay the course locked arms because
their mission minded they've they're
really clear about what they want to
experience and they bet on each other
that really hit me hard and now what I
want to know is how many areas of your
life outside of sports does that apply
where I want to get to is how the
locking arms not fraying betting on each
other like that tribal mentality which
when you were telling that story really
really hit me and it made me think okay
how much am i doing that in my business
very plausible to do in my business
though hearing how well you guys do it
makes me want to be better definitely
possible in my relationship with my wife
but then like how far can we expand that
because if you could have that kind of
relationship with a potent enough number
of people and a you know versatile
number of situations it just feels like
you could accomplish so much more but I
just don't know like how many places it
actually applies like is it realistic to
do with your friends
you know ii mean yeah it depends on the
community that you're building
you know we'd like to think that we all
we are all a pebble in a pond and so the
the the weight of the pebble indicates
the ripples in the output you know the
effect and those inner circle like
there's a greater impact and then as you
spread out you know especially through
social media there's larger impacts but
yeah it is available like you're in
relationships in every community that
you're in and like I don't know if you
have spent the time to articulate your
philosophy and to be able to get it in
maybe 25 words or less maybe down to
four three or to one word you know and
so that type of work investing on the
clarity that you have within yourself
allows us to have a greater weight in
that pebble and so from clarity we can
train our mind to have conviction in
stressful environments and the clarity
also allows other people to know really
what we're about and then when we ask
them what they are about that that's how
you start to build that deeper bond
right and what I found is that most
people want to stay on the surface
because it's hard to talk about things
that are hard to talk about and there's
like three levels right you can talk
about I don't know beer and pizza you
know and sporting events scores and
there's nothing wrong with that but
that's just some type of relationships
and then underneath there's other
conversations which are about ideas that
are hard to articulate and then
underneath of that it's talking about
personal experiences that are hard to
articulate and those are kind of the
three levels of depth that that I think
most conversations get bucketed in one
thing that I found really interesting
you know you talk about really being
yourself asking people what they're
really like the relationship that you
have with your wife and what you talked
about that very courageous moment of
hers where she actually said this isn't
working you've done your homework
yeah I mean with stuff like this where I
can learn like it's so powerful to me
and the way that you think and some of
the lessons you put together really
really are insanely powerful this one I
found interesting I found your reaction
to it or at least the way that you frame
it now really powerful
so walk us through that moment how
authenticity plays into it and how you
get to those deeper levels yeah it's not
easy you know intimate relationships are
challenging and because the person that
we're talking about knows you and knows
if the if the relationship is really
rich almost all of you I'm not sure as a
as a human somebody this might sound sad
but I don't think that another person
even the most intimate relationships can
know all of another person so there is a
loneliness to the human experience that
I think is important just to honor and
that doesn't mean I'm by any means
depressed like there's a vibrancy about
how I view life and engage in life but
there's also like this honesty you know
about the lonely part so what happened
in our relationship is that I was
ripping and running figuring out I was
in the study mode big time study mode of
the science of psychology and I had some
early budding successes that were taking
place and essentially I was not watering
the relationship and I was being selfish
and that thirst I had for understanding
the science and the application of the
science of psychology was out watering
the the intimacy and relationships of
that relationship so one day she came
home and it this looking back it wasn't
I was surprised by it but looking back
all the tell-tale signs were there you
know for a long time she'd been saying
hey pay attention like to the
relationship but I was like I yeah and I
really thought it was all fine but it
wasn't and so finally one day she just
it was you know the most candid
conversation and she just grabbed me
we've been dating since high school and
she grabbed me you know not not
forcefully but grabbed my attention and
she said as a friend as your best friend
I'm telling you this doesn't work
anymore I love you you're a wonderful
person but I can't figure out how to be
me in this relationship and so I was
like holy like that's the worst thing
that a friend could say like it's the
worst
and so I was like no no no no and she
like lit okay okay I feel you know and
she's like no no it's too late yeah and
so I was my cue like I had to leave
right like out of kindness and
compassion for the experience and she's
feeling it deeply and I wish she was
here in this conversation because she'd
make light of it and say well you know
yeah you know like because that looking
back it was the richest most intense
thing that I've been through in the
relationship we hit rock bottom to your
point I moved out with a in and kind of
bounced around from a couple different
places it was a month before we went
back and had a conversation and
basically she's like I'm done
I said let's give it a chance look we've
been together a long time let's just
give it a chance so we went to therapy
and day one of the therapist I identify
with my Italian roots and she's Cuban
and so the therapist it's across the
from us and she says this hold on hold
on his tempers up
she says this is as bad as it I've ever
seen it and so she basically asked one
really important question she said do
you guys want to do the work you need to
work Mike
Lisa you need to work do you want to do
the work with each other or were
somebody else and I thought to myself oh
my god this is if she says I want I want
to grow but I want to grow as someone
else this is the end of the relationship
and that was the moment and my heart
goes pop oh and I knew that I couldn't
go first because that was the problem I
was going first too much and so that
moment lasted it felt like an eternity
and obviously she said I want to do the
work with you but I'm not sure that I
can trust you that you'll do the work
too so we did some work and so we're
still married to get like it's great
like looking back I mean the work I I
would encourage everybody anybody that
you know in your community like to do
that intimate deep work with somebody
and have real conversations the freedom
is incredible on the other side of it
like really incredible and it's hard to
get to so that deep work of really
getting to know somebody of figuring out
what's important to them
it seems to be exactly what you do in
your practice as well what what does
that look like like where does somebody
start in terms of trying to connect on
that level a want you know it starts
with a real deep want to do the work and
so it you know I wish there was like the
seven steps to whatever it doesn't quite
work that way but I do know from good
research that there are some telltale
signs that have great accuracy of
predicting separation and so avoiding
critique avoiding defensiveness as a
response avoiding stonewalling and
avoiding contempt so avoiding those
things people that have some of those
things in their in their relationship
they're able to predict divorce within
great accuracy within two years yeah I
remember reading some of that research
and I think they call them the four
horsemen right that's exactly yeah
really really interesting and how
contempt is like the one that is just
gonna if you have that yeah that's
really really interesting so now so
thinking about that in that context
about just the way that humans come
together the way that we can support
each other the way that we transfer
energy which I find really interesting
not in a move away but like really like
people pick up on your vibe
you were telling a story about a time I
think it was with the Seahawks but I
don't know for sure where one guy just
went ballistic he was just seeing red
couldn't like come down from rage and
the team like got in his face oh and the
way that they then we got in sync I
thought was super interesting yeah so
that was a one of the athletes was right
at the edge emotionally of his capacity
and he was just angry you know just
really angry and he came flying off the
sidelines were just you know pissed and
there was not one and there's a this is
a group of alpha apex competitors like
these are alpha competitors at the
Seattle Seahawks and you know most
highly competitive environments they are
alphas and and these are large
physically strong men and there wasn't
one human that was able to grab all of
his attention and help him get to a
place that is productive okay so it they
in
distinctly knew there wasn't a coach
there wasn't there was nobody and they
instinctively knew that they had to wrap
around him and one guy tried another guy
tried solo another guy tried solo and
then sure enough like that moment and
it's on tape it's beautiful it's really
quite special and they just huddled
around him and started bouncing in this
tribal way you can't plan for that
that's a deep connection that those men
have and a care for each other and a
care for the mission and how do you get
that that that take place all of the
work ahead of time on the relationships
and that's where coach Carol's
approached to be a relationship based
organization it pays dividends in those
types of moments and that doesn't mean
it's always gonna happen that way
there's certainly times when okay we've
got more work to do you know but that
was a beautiful celebration of someone
right at the edge not facilitating their
emotions to be mission minded and the
the team the the community taking care
of it it was really cool yeah that that
saw really hit me and I loved your
concept of emotionally which I've never
heard anybody talk about that before
emotionally going to the edge of your
limits and then using that as like a
training mechanism to get better to be
able to push your emotional boundaries
farther and farther and I assume to be
able to handle more emotional amplitude
for lack of a better word so the
question that I had those how do you
train that like how do you create like
I'll give you a really great example so
you know what I'm talking about in the
world of business I found it was so hard
to put myself in a situation where there
were simultaneously no real consequences
and my anxiety was triggered because
that's where I had struggled yeah and i
just couldn't like the only thing that
triggered my anxiety was when there was
real consequences so i didn't want to
put myself in that situation to train so
i started playing video games and i
found that i had the same anxiety
responses because there was some 14 year
old kid who was kicking my ass and he
was gonna mock me at the end of it if i
lost and that triggered the literal same
amplitude of anxiety which is weird but
nonetheless so but there were no real
consequences so I started doing that as
a way to see how rapidly I could come in
love god I love that okay so so we're
talking about emotions you know there's
only a handful of primary
emotions and unfortunately we're not we
haven't done a great job in Western
culture of teaching how to feel emotions
label them and then how to work with
them you know we don't happen I didn't
have that course I don't know if you did
and I didn't have a course on how you
know the basic mental skills work how to
label them and how to train them so we
haven't done a great job of doing this
in the education platform and if there's
only three things we can train craft
body in mind like why are we not
training the mind like what why are we
because the way that thoughts and
emotions work it's like a bang-bang
experience they happen like right next
to each other and there's some
conversation about what comes first is
it a thought then emotion or is it
emotion than a thought most people in
the field would say of psychology would
say it's thought than emotion the way
that I think about this is that's like a
rider in the in an elephant so the rider
is the thought and then as soon as the
emotion wants to run because the thought
that maybe the rider scared he's having
scary thoughts or sad because he's
having a lot of sad base thoughts that
it's when the elephant wants to go when
the emotions run you're not controlling
that thing your job my job is to be the
rider a thoughtful aware rider of
thoughts and when we're able to be aware
of our thoughts then we can guide and
negotiate our thoughts so they don't run
while ultimately there's a meta
awareness that takes place where when
you train awareness and we I'd like to
get into that conversation with you when
you train awareness of your thoughts
emotions body sensations and your
environment awareness of your
environment those four things we become
more finely tuned so that we can choose
great thoughts we can harness our
emotions we can feel our body sensations
and use them to facilitate clear
thinking creative thinking or great
output and when will more aware of the
unfolding unpredictable environment
around us we can course correct and
adjust and pivot and that makes all the
difference in the most intense
environments in the world whether that's
an emotional intensity vulnerability or
that is you know center court whatever
sporting environment that we're talking
about so back to you your first thought
is its vulnerability that is how we
train emotional capacity and the more
that we become vulnerable and
demonstrate the courage to do so we
expand our capacity to feel and if I
know I can go to the extreme edges of an
emotion and I start to feel a little bit
of an emotion and kind of rapidly going
towards let's say out here is like panic
like high high fear and I'm starting to
feel anxious or I'm starting to feel
something on that scale well I don't
have to panic at anxiety I can actually
use it as a signal go oh look what am i
thought my thoughts are about like this
is scary what's scary about this and
then I can start to work with that
instead of like as soon as I start to
feel something and and this is my
capacity I feel anxious I'm like oh my
god I'm gonna run to the edge of it now
our job is to pull that thing out as far
as we possibly can so that when we're in
those charged emotionally charging
environments we've got lots of room to
play and that's what that's the mark of
a master all right I want to push you on
that I'm so curious I want to know how
to use this in my life so when you say
how is vulnerability helping me their
vulnerability that I'm not worried about
looking stupid or whatever I'm panicking
about like just don't worry about that
or it's such a multi factored
question that you have they're like
there's so much in that let's see if we
can you've heard of Yolo yep
you only live once FOMO yep fear of
missing out okay I want to introduce a
new kind of fun concept and before I
share that with you in we've got an
ancient brain that's working in modern
times and our ancient brain isn't as
fast as adapting as modern technology
like its route its rapidly changing okay
so our ancient brain is designed for
survival okay easy to kind of track that
idea and how we track that idea is that
information right now is coming into
your brain two ways the high road and
the low road and the high road is up
into your thinking brain and the low
road is down into your emotional call it
the amygdala into the emotion centers of
the brain and it's coming in here to the
fight/flight response mechanisms at
twice the speed so it's coming in all
the time information is coming in
twice as much and twice as fast before
you're getting it here the thinking part
of the brain so what's happening here is
you're right now you're gating out and
I'm gating out no this is safe nope
we're safe no we're okay this is okay
this is okay
and so our brain is designed to figure
out if we're gonna be okay and safe here
that came from saber-toothed Tigers that
came from the rustling and the bush is
it a saber-toothed or is it a bunny and
so we've had to figure out how to be
hyper-vigilant so we could get away our
ancestors passed that down that gift
down to us but what is them we don't
have sabertooths anymore so what is our
modern-day fear what other people think
period so faux pas fear of other
people's opinions right I find that to
be clever that's good though so faux pas
so that but that is our modern-day
threat what other people think that's
why public speaking so hard for people
you know because what's it's what are
the stakes they're what another human
thinks of us so what are we really good
at picking up facial structures micro
tells if you will if they are being
critical of us what do we do to protect
ourselves we become hyper critical of
ourselves so that we get to that that
state before somebody else might
embarrass us that way and that's so
we've got this self cutting mechanism
the self critiquing mechanism that were
basically beating ourselves up or
tenderizing ourselves and not a good way
so that we don't face those casualties
publicly so our brain is great at
picking up these little signals and
other people so that we can adjust and
provide some sort of protective
mechanism from being exposed of not
being good enough because if we're not
good enough we're kicked out of the
tribe and what in modern days what that
means is we maybe were fired and so you
know there's a lot at stake for for
people if they don't have a job so long
way of saying the greatest fear in
modern times is what other people think
so our job is to love others and not
give a what they think of us but
not in a cold way but to really love
other people because we only get one
emotion at a time that's how our brain
works one emotion either you are anxious
or you are joyful you can't get the two
at the same time so our job is to really
find the right state that we want to be
in the right emotional place and used
that rather than let the brain win and
the brain wins by saying what are they
thinking what are they thinking am i
safe am i safe am i safe and if that is
untrained and unconditioned it will win
it sounds like a lot of this rides on
the back of your ability to be software
and you said that you know there's a
process for training that so how do you
go about training a level of
self-awareness that you can deploy
against that okay super thoughtful so
this is not a new thought but it is
gaining incredible awareness which is
mindfulness if we follow the science
around mindfulness in 1980 there was two
or three research articles on
mindfulness that's not a lot 2008 there
was an uptick a couple hundred in 2016
there's this J hockey-stick arc that's
happened in 2016-17 there's thousands of
research articles from scholarly
universities so what what is happening
at that trend with that trend
mindfulness has been around for let's
call 2,500 years 2,600 years and
research is starting to find incredible
changes in our brain neuro chemistry nor
electricity structurally things are
changing behaviorally there's great
change and it starts with awareness of
thoughts and emotions there's two
pillars to mindfulness you could use a
word meditation if you wanted right I
use the word mindfulness because
meditation in alpha competitive
environments has some sort of baggage to
it sir right and so we can say
mindfulness - training that works better
but there's two main pillars to
mindfulness one is awareness and the
second pillar is wisdom so if we if we
did a disservice to mindfulness and we
just stopped at pillar one and you
became more aware of your thoughts your
emotions your body sensations and the
environment you would be a better
performer because you core
course-correct more eloquently and
here's something really important you
can't I can't be around a wise person
and all of a sudden be wise I can't you
can't hijack wise wisdom you can't
you can't shortcut it it is with it you
can't read a wise book and all of a
sudden be wise you have to reveal it you
have to do the alone based work of
silence and listening and you have to
reveal that that's how it happens and
that takes time it takes time for this
busy mind that is so scattered all over
the place with external stimulation and
internal dialogue to quiet it down to
let go of the noise to get to the signal
and the more time we can spend
conditioning our mind to be connected to
the signal which is the present moment
the stillness that I was talking about
we reveal glimpses of wisdom everything
changes so those are the two pillars of
mindfulness how do you train it research
would suggest somewhere around 8 to 20
minutes a day
minimal effective dose would be 8
minutes a day of training you know
mindfulness or meditation we can talk
about more concretely if you want what
that is upwards to you know 20 plus
minutes but the most part more is better
I love that when people ask you okay how
did you end up working with P Carol like
you know was it hey you call them up or
whatever what's your answer to that
question was amazing but your real
answer of how you did it the 18 years of
cutting your teeth is the part of your
story I think I like the most tell us a
little bit about that what do you mean
by cutting your teeth how on earth did
you convince yourself to spend 18 years
every Saturday in a gym yeah god I miss
it I just got a gym you know I miss that
experience I'm so I'm wrestling right
now in my life with who can afford
access to doing this deep work like I've
I've trained I don't know 30 years I've
invested millions of dollars in the
craft I've made a lot of mistakes I've
learned an incredible amount from
research and the best doers and thinkers
in the world and there's one neat one of
me and I'm really wrestling with who has
access to this information because it
feels really selfish and so right now
reserved for the wealthy and that's but
that's not where I came from and so the
18 years of woodshedding if you will
what we're talking about is it was born
out of an entrepreneurial spunk that I
didn't know what I was going to do a
mentor of mine this is right out of
college and a mentor of mine said hey
Mike this is part-time temporary job
that you might be interested it's like
three weeks twenty hours a week it's a
non-profit like it'd be nice to just
kind of give to the community and it was
they had this government funding around
crime prevention and alcohol and drug
prevention those two and so day two I
was like well they're sitting on a lot
of money like they've got proper funding
is back in the days right like this was
nineteen eighty ninety so it was a
democratic approach to government and so
they're sitting on lots of money and I
said hey I went to the executive
director and I said and I had no place
to do this right I said if I had an idea
would you guys fund it and they said
well what's the idea I said well let me
go work on it and let me kind of really
get it clear and can we talk tomorrow so
I came back with this concept and the
idea was what's a premium right now for
young high school and college age
athletes is that there's nowhere to go
on Saturday night you can go to a party
but there's nowhere to go to do
athleticism so what if we can get a gym
open up the gym bring a DJ in make a
network of high school athletes and
coach them on some of the psychology
that I'm just kind of learning undergrad
I just finished my undergrad kind of
just learning if I could coach them up
on some leadership stuff and and then
open up the gym and see if we can get
some basketball going and create a
culture of learning right and so they
said yeah let's try it so the executive
director gave it a shot the first night
we had 130 young men it was mostly men
that showed up and it was amazing and
that's primetime party hours we picked a
neutral gang territory to do it and I
was just barely one step ahead of ideas
and so what I and then I was now just
starting my master's program and so what
I what I did basically is I used
Saturday night as a refuge for me to be
around people of like mind the
people like to sweat and compete and you
know not not interested in the party
scene but really kind of do something
fun and engaging that way and then my
job the price to admission to this
beautiful indoor three courts beautiful
rare piece of property in in Los Angeles
that was gang neutral and price of
admission was to listen to me for 10-15
minutes on the thought that I thought
was important and this is now imagine
one hundred thirty young men high school
college aged 80 90 percent are getting
involved and I'm not getting involved at
all obviously and when I say obviously
it's like that's not where I came from
and you can imagine they don't want to
listen to me they have no interest in
listen they want to play ball listen to
the music and get on with it and so I
had to be crisp and short which I'm not
in this conversation I had to be like
really intense and purposeful about how
can I get in a great mindset practice
that they could use tonight and we could
practice it tonight and I had this the
staff of high school kids that that
would that were switched on about it as
well and we would support and challenge
them to try it tonight goal-setting
self-talk breathing when you get to
intense conflict resolution how to use
words and emotions and pull you out of
the engagement rather than a fistfight
in eighteen years every Saturday night
from 8:00 a.m. or I'm sorry 8:00 p.m. to
midnight I was in a sweaty gym working
out how to deliver sport psychology or
mindset principles on time to a group of
people that didn't really care what I
had to say and I had to be crisp and
short and get in it and then see if it
could work in in 18 years we had three
fights Wow three fights I mean I just
got a tweet today and it'd be fun to
share that a tweet today where a kid
that came through that program I mean he
during the program he was probably 18
years old he tatted up his face you know
like really a great edge about him went
to the edge I mean when you go above
your neck on a tattoo there's right
there's something there and so he tatted
up his face he was really intense and he
tweeted just today he said Mike thank
you a lot of lives have been saved for
what we did together for those 18 years
and he was a participant showing up
everyone he was one that almost
a fight on a regular basis but we worked
we worked and we worked and so I miss it
I crave it I you know the ability to
share a piece of information and being
bought involved in a relationship where
other people grow is is like electric
and so thank you for bringing it up
that's where I worked it out and by the
way my office was a janitors office
without windows that it was me and three
rats that I was chasing out of that
thing for years years that's where I
went to work that was my office and I
look back and fond memories like good
old days of being you know grubby and
you know like it was it was awesome so
thank you for letting me share that man
for sure thanks for sharing it yeah all
right before I ask my last question tell
these guys where they can find you
online mm-hmm lots of places so LinkedIn
Michael Gervais ger the AIS and then
Twitter is at Michael Gervais Instagram
is finding mastery and so we fired up a
podcast called finding mastery and and
you can also find us online the
partnership with coach Carroll is called
compete to create and it's taking the
the principles about how he switches on
a culture where people become their very
best and the principles of how to train
your mind and putting those two things
together for enterprises and that's
compete to create and then again the
finding mastery podcast is finding
mastery net all right very cool
my last question what's the impact that
you want to have on the world okay so
the idea is one in five people in an
organization and one in five people in a
family or an enterprise organization to
help them condition and train their mind
to live in the present moment more often
because in the present moment is where
all things high performance take place
it's where love happens it's where
relationships and the fabric or
relationships are are strengthened and
revealed it's where glimpses of wisdom
and potential happened so increasing the
frequency of people spending time in the
present moment and the way to do that is
by conditioning and training your mind
in non-hostile now
rugged non stressful environments and
purposely working up into more hostile
stressful rugged environments
emotionally challenging environments it
doesn't mean that there's physical
consequences it just means that
something's real for you and to do that
on regulation so one in five people to
live in the present moment more often I
love that thank you so much for being
here yeah thank you guys man I'm telling
you what is utterly fascinating about
him is exactly what he just said there
at the end that it's mindfulness it's
being in the present moment that is the
place where all of high achievement high
performance greatness exists it was not
the answer that I expected to find when
I started researching him somebody that
I had known from his accomplishments the
people that he's helped do these
extraordinary things I did not think the
punchline was going to be turning inward
finding that inner peace finding calm
being in this moment and that notion
that he has of letting the past and the
future exist simultaneously now as noise
in the present I thought was a really
powerful way of explaining exactly what
mindfulness is of finding that silence
so that you can hear the subconscious so
that you can be as he says where your
feet are thought that was absolutely
incredible trust me when I say go watch
the videos that he's done the other
interviews take him as a body of work it
is absolutely astonishing you will be
blown away I promise all right guys if
you haven't already be sure to subscribe
and until next time my friends be
legendary take care thank you sir
that was amazing
everybody thank you so much for watching
and being a part of this community if
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