Kind: captions
Language: en
when I'm working out I always do one
extra rep one extra set because it it's
a promise I kept to myself and here's
the biggest thing it's a pattern it's a
pattern I keep of me I always do a
little extra I always go the extra inch
and the quickest and easiest place to do
it is the gym because I can always grab
one more weight one more set and it
reads what it does it shifts your
identity everybody welcome to impact be
on goal with this show and company is to
introduce you to the people and ideas
that will help you actually execute on
your dreams all right today's guest went
from broke and having to shower at a
public pool to building his own business
and a net worth of hundreds of millions
of dollars today he's recognized as one
of the premier business leaders in the
world but initially his dream was to be
a professional baseball player and he
was well on his way when a career-ending
injury crushed his dreams in an instant
he lost all motivation and drive but
thankfully his father a recovering
alcoholic who understands the power of
effort refused to let him quit on his
life and got him a job working at a
group home for disadvantaged and abused
boys in seeing the positive impact he
was able to have on the lives of these
kids a light switched on in his mind he
discovered that being of service fed him
far more than success in baseball ever
had so when an opportunity with World
Financial Group presented itself he went
into it with an attitude of service
rather than greed and this shift in his
perspective ended up making all the
difference it was a journey filled with
amazing highs and absolutely desperate
lows but because he had the powerful
desire to help and serve as well as
provide for his own family he persevered
and ultimately turned his business into
a massive success becoming one of the
youngest CEO MDS in the company's
history and from there he continued to
grow building one of the most successful
and inspiring nationwide teams of
associates in wfg history a track record
of success that saw him name the agency
chairman as well as being recognized
around the globe as a peak performance
expert who has equal parts love and
insanely high standards so please help
me in welcoming the man who has a
kid pointed at a beautiful cliff
overlooking the sea and said one day I'm
going to live there and now he does head
my lap I'm so glad to be here
good it's awesome to have you here I've
been an admirer of yours for a long time
so the honors mind me a lot yeah
researching you was a lot of fun and
that is really my the reason that I
either bring a guest on or don't it's
really incredible what you've done to
your mindset and the thing that we have
the chills just thinking about asking
this question okay there's a Malcolm X
quote that you really like tell me what
it is and why it's so powerful that
which you do not hate you will
eventually tolerate and I think that
identifies most people's lives in other
words they average becomes sort of like
this slow asphyxiation it's almost like
an anesthetic and that over time would
become kind of immune and dulled to the
average that we're becoming I know this
is true at least for me you probably
experienced it yourself too and so over
time we sort of minimize where we're at
in other words I'm a little pudgy
instead of being know your fat ass right
you know you don't magnify the degree to
which the pain ought to be affecting you
and so really what he means on that is
listen you're gonna get out of your life
what you'll accept that's really
difficult for people I think to
understand is look what you think you're
worth and what you're gonna tolerate is
absolutely what you're gonna bring into
your life and what the outward part of
your life is gonna look like and so I
live by that like I let myself sort of
feel the pain and the difficulty of
being not where I want to be in whatever
that areas would this would be my
spirituality my relationships my money I
let myself feel that pain cuz as you
know there's two motivators right
there's the gaining of pleasure right
wanting to go get something chasing the
dream but then there's the avoidance of
pain and for a lot of champions that's a
pretty big driving force for them and so
at least for me I I leveraged both of
those things on me to get myself to take
action so that's what that means to me
you've got the whole concept of
blissfully dissatisfied which i think is
brilliant
thank you walk people through what that
is but but what I really want to know is
how do you keep that from breaking you
mmm what what that's no one's asked me
that before
it's it's along the same vein really as
getting what you'll tolerate so
there's this misnomer and you've watched
this even in your own life or the
successful people you've interviewed so
there's this thing people think that
like I'll be happy when once I get like
this big amazing home or once I get this
car or once I get this relationship or
an amount of money then I'll allow
myself some happiness the problem is the
finish line always moves you never
arrive there right the other part is
people think well if I enjoy myself now
I'm gonna lose my drive in other words
if I could just wire myself with enough
pain all the time I won't lose my driver
ambition the truth is there's no
correlation between the two at all
there's no relationship between you
feeling complete pain all the time and
losing Drive and so I talked about
living in a state of blissful
dissatisfaction and really the best
example of that would be like if you've
ever I love a good meal right you know
if I bought into a great piece of steak
if you're a steak eater like I am you
take that first bite it's like complete
bliss right there's no correlation
between how great that tasted and your
lack of desire for the next bite in fact
that bliss causes you to want more of it
and so the more we can been to a reward
ourselves with bliss we're not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we're not gonna
we're not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains
there's dopamine hit you get when you do
something successful if you constantly
cheat yourself out of that it right
biomechanically in your body less and
less in the future where you want to
achieve the next level the next dream
the next step and that's why so many
people stall out in life they didn't
they got to a certain point and they
cheated themselves out of the bliss out
of a celebration it's important that we
celebrate our wins we celebrate our
lives because it causes us to want the
next bite it keeps us hungrier not the
reverse and so for me I want to live in
a state of being grateful and blissful
now not waiting for some future place or
date that may never arise so that's what
it means for me yeah now that that
concept to me is really powerful and I
talk a lot about so 8020 Reisman 80% of
my time thinking about the things that
are amazing in my life that I'm grateful
for the beautiful things that I want to
build and create but I also spend 20% of
my time kicking myself in the ass yes
because otherwise you get really
stagnant but the feedback that I get
from people is they end up going down a
dark path like how do you help people
not begin to erode their self-confidence
mm-hmm and and maybe the right place to
start with that is where does
self-confidence come from right which is
important because there's no
relationship between that and eroding
your self-confidence in other words
self-confidence is really self trust so
the first thing is the people I know
that are really happy are very
self-aware in fact the best
entrepreneurs I know are very self-aware
they're aware of their shortcomings
right they want to improve them they
want to get to the next version of
themselves all the time and so for me
self-confidence comes because I didn't
have it and I think anytime you meet
somebody like yourself or myself who
might now appear self confident it's
because I really had to find tools and
resources because I was so insecure and
shy and introverted so I had to find
techniques and resources to build that
up in me and for me it's very simple
it's the promises that I keep to myself
if I have a habit over and over again to
stack one on top of the other of keeping
promises I make to me not other people
in other words the minute you begin to
get external in your life worrying about
what other people think about you right
you've out you've lost all control you
and it never fills you up and people's
admiration people's gratitude towards
you will never fill you up it's your own
it's your own inside and so for me
self-confidence comes from keeping the
promises I make to myself and the other
part of it is being aware I'm doing it
in other words most people don't give
themselves enough credit all the time
they're very aware of these 20 percent
things and not aware of the 80 right and
that's why the dosage is so important -
you've nailed it it should be 80/20
right because people get addicted to
this I'm not good at this people don't
like this about me I don't feel good
instead of focusing on the 80 and
stacking up wow I did eat what I said I
was going to today I did get up when I
said I was going to I made the amount of
phone calls I treated people in such a
way I promised myself it's not just
doing those things it's rewarding it's
being aware of it and stacking that up
when I work with athletes the successful
athletes I work with when they're in a
slump it's never that they can't hit a
ball any more or make a shot or swing a
golf club
they've lost their self-confidence
somewhere along the way they've lost the
ability to focus on the things they are
great at and stacking those promises
they make to themselves and the way I
get them to break their slump is not
correcting their swing or getting them
positive it's getting them to
acknowledge the small promises showing
up the batting
practice early hitting that extra bucket
of balls beginning to reward themselves
for the extra promises they keep to
themselves puts them back in a state of
self confidence all of a sudden they're
hitting the ball great again all right
this is so important man and I really
hope people are listening and your
story's so incredible and if we had more
time we could go down every Avenue when
you were starting out you're broke
you're you your wife's car got
foreclosed on your water was turned off
at one point I mean it's like literally
good raisi
yeah how do you begin to build that like
for real you not in the abstract but how
did you begin to build your
self-confidence when like you're
teaching people how to do something that
you don't you haven't actually done in
your life which like that moment is
where most people get trapped right they
see you now successful and they just
write you off a little bit because it's
like what you've done it but if they can
see you at that moment and understand
what you're telling yourself
mm-hmm and and get to like the the
reality of your velcroing your car to
look like a Mercedes right so there's
this really weird like you're not quite
like just fully accepting where you are
but yet you really do accomplish it yeah
wow that is such a good question that's
another question I've not been asked
that way before so if we really go back
and we look at it I had a couple good
things happen for me or to me one was at
that time my wife did get frank with me
this is not who you are
this is not what you're about I don't
recognize this person this is who you
are and I had an other person to my
benefit pointing out to me the things
that were great about me this is gonna
sound hokey but I'm gonna give you the
big one and this is why life gives you
these great tests I had a really good
friend of mine I went to lunch and he
said I don't know who this guy is here
in front of me and he goes let me ask
you a question honestly right now what
are you grateful for and at the lunch I
said jack [ __ ] nothing brother there's
nothing good in my life right now and
I'm not exaggerating this to you when I
tell you this and this is a factual
story as I'm mouthing these words two
people walked in with an older man both
of them clearly were fighting cancer
somehow both had lost their hair one of
the ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm green
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that's pretty freakin pathetic you
can't find anything in your life to be
grateful for right now and on the drive
home I'm not kidding you I started to
stack gratitude I started to taking
inventory because if you can find things
to be grateful for in that space man as
your life going to be rich when there
really are external things to be
grateful for
so my first mechanism out of that space
was honestly to stack the things I was
grateful for and I started reinforcing
it over and over and over again and what
happens is there's this reticular
activating system in our brains right
and all of a sudden because that's the
messaging I was giving myself all of a
sudden all these things start to come
into my awareness that I'm grateful for
I start to magnetized to myself some
people that I needed to find into my
life and that was the next layer I
started to see things to be grateful for
my health my fitness people who loved me
and when it did it changed my state when
I stacked gratitude I changed what I did
in the morning and I changed what I did
in the evening and so somehow by
grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I was an out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately start thinking about a bill
I had to pay something that was wrong
and I'm in a state of reaction to begin
every sound talking within six minutes
of waking up six seconds most people
listening to this that's what they do I
said I got to grab control of my morning
and I set up routines in my morning
maybe they serve me maybe they didn't
but they were things I could deliver on
doing for myself and so not only did
that give me control over the day but I
started to stack my self-confidence too
and what were some of those things that
you grabbed onto huge so and I have
about pitching this but I do have audios
out on this stuff too that people can go
get for free but right by the way are
amazing thank you man thanks 100% I
really hope people will dive in like
they your content is incredible thank
you so is yours which is why I wanted to
find you and it's I've been for a long
time wanted to be in your presence so my
morning routines are really detailed I
get up and I hydrate the second thing I
do every morning is I do something cold
something cold so whether that's I jump
in the ocean because now I live in the
ocean but in those days it was taking a
cold shower or splashing some cold water
in my face or walking out when it was
cold it shocks our nervous system our
flight kicks in we're at a cellular
electrical live State I obviously do
some prayer and meditation every single
morning I've still not touched my
telephone so there's a rule there's 30
minutes I cannot touch my telephone when
I wake up that's the hardest thing to do
in the world and the thing that could
benefit you the most because what's ever
on that phone you have to react to and
typically it's stuff that's not great
and so I don't touch that I do my
meditation on my prayer and I do some
stretching I do some breathing exercises
and then at that point I allow myself to
enter the world after I've got my state
controlled and I work out every morning
except for Sunday so I work out every
morning talk to me about working out
that's something that completely changed
my life obviously and and every time
somebody asks me a question about you
know how do I I'm lost I feel you know
completely out of control I don't have
confidence my answer is work out me too
so why well I think everything in our
body everything in our lives starts with
our body if you're a person of faith you
believe that's where your soul is housed
right and so it's the you you do
emotions you don't just feel them you do
them in other words and you know this
from things you've learned in your life
but like joy is an actual action not
just an emotion we feel a certain joy a
certain breathing a certain movement in
our body depression and sadness is
something we do were more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there's a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
there directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I'm just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can't be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don't go together so much because
your body doesn't get the connection I'm
moving like I'm joyful I'm moving like
I'm having sex I'm moving like I'm happy
these are all joyful states you can't be
depressed simultaneously so the quickest
way to change our behavior our emotions
in our state is with our body all right
now let's talk about the the like n sets
the ones that really burn and really
hurt
one thing that I've found is and you've
talked about this with entrepreneurship
and generally said it's the the greatest
like self awareness mechanism you're
gonna find out who you are what you're
capable of how hard you're willing to
push most people though getting into
that position like it's
right that that's a sort of a bridge too
far yes but when you start in the gym
and it's like do I do this extra set or
not do I push myself do I do an extra
exercise you going back to confidence
and self trust it's like you begin to
learn something about yourself I'm
stealing that from you
no please meant that like legitimately
changed my life and so when I when I see
guys that are successful entrepreneurs
and they're jacked yeah that never
surprises me either
so I play these very strange games with
myself when I'm at the gym when I'm
working out I always do one extra rep
one extra set because it it's a promise
I kept to myself and here's the biggest
thing it's a pattern it's a pattern I
keep of me I always do a little extra I
always go the extra inch and the
quickest and easiest place to do it is
the gym because I can always grab one
more weight one more set and it is what
it does it shifts your identity
I talked to me about identity because
that is so I heard that first from Tony
that Tony Robbins the notion that
identity drives behavior and it was one
of those like lightning-rod moments I
was like whoa that's the hook right if I
want to change like my behaviors I need
to think of myself in a different way
correct you've leveraged identity really
powerfully how have you've done it and
like what are some specific moments
where identity came to your rescue so
identity is the governor on our lives
it's the invisible force that no one
understands and once they do understand
and get a hold of it their life can
change and so not only if you don't get
a hold of this will these outward
conditions of your life keep being
exactly the same but it's you could
behave differently could do all the work
now you could be thinking great thoughts
but you are going to get out of your
life you're gonna be the most powerful
force in the world I think is to be
consistent with the concepts ideas and
worth that you hold for yourself you
will get that out of your life what you
will tolerate okay the deeper part of
that is identity and so identity is very
much like a thermostat sitting on a wall
right this is important once that
temperature is set at a certain degree
everything in the world externally can
hit it and you will find a way to get
that temperature so even in this house
let's say it's set at 80 degrees if we
opened up all the doors and cold air
just the worst things in life the
blizzard or of life came in the
thermostat will kick the heater on and
it will
regulate this room back to 80 degrees
the reverse is also true it's a super
hot day great things are happening in
your life it's getting hotter and hotter
and hotter if you're at 80 degrees that
internal thermostat will find a way over
a window of time to cool your life right
back down to 80 degrees again so the key
the secret key is to be able to shift
that identity 90 120 so some of the ways
strategies to do that are very simple
one is if I let's just say financially
you're a 200-degree or and I'm an
80-degree if I'm in your proximity over
and over and over and over again you
will heat my identity up somewhere in
between mine and yours to 150 degrees
same and fitness
same and everything so the more you can
layer in multiple people the stronger
and stronger that forces so that changes
our thermostat through Association it's
a huge huge huge huge thing people say
you are who the five people you hang
around this is why they adjust your
thermostat that's number one second way
you can change your identity is through
doing short bursts of something in a
window of time you've not done them
before and they changed the thermostat
temperature permanently almost like a
water line in the pool so if it's a
certain in the gym certain amount in the
gym or a certain amount of phone calls
in your business or a certain amount of
appointment you make a certain amount of
money often times you're never the same
again you've seen this when your own net
worth I've seen it in mind that became a
point where I made a leap and a short
window I was never really the same again
I could go back a little bit but not
back where I was before
so it's activity or successes
achievements in short bursts of time and
then our obviously our self-confidence
impacts identity too and we've kind of
covered that those are three quick ways
that's incredible so walk me through
your your baseball career ends I know
that your dad and you were now you said
he's your best friend Meru growing up
alcoholic father throughout you said so
I think you were 14 or 15 the true and
then they're introducing you constantly
as the shy kid who plays baseball
baseball falls away and now it's like
how do you get out from under well I'm
the son of
you know somebody that struggled a drug
is an alcohol I'm the kid who was
supposed to be great at baseball and now
that's gone like how do you get out from
under the weight of that yeah it is way
too when I was small mom I was also
really under sized so probably the
reasons I lift weights I was always
there every baseball picture I'm the kid
holding a sign in the front right so I
was small and skinny these two teased me
Eddie spaghetti you know and I'd get
bullied at school and I never retaliated
so I had that mix with shyness mixed
with chaos in my home which many people
can relate to and I got to tell you that
the shift for me sports was good for me
because it gave me an out that I finally
found something that I was pretty good
at I think the biggest shift in our
lives the things that makes us the
happiest is that when somebody helps us
identify our natural giftedness and when
I was a little boy when I got a little
bit older they pointed out my speed so
it wasn't my lack of size I was fast
I was basket right I always wanted to be
fast kid and I got confidence in
baseball doing that when I got into
business I said you know you're intense
when someone points out a gift about you
that you also kind of intuitively know
to be true they're linked to him if
you're intense your passion you won't
get out work you're relentless I want I
am those things and when someone linked
those gifts to me winning now I believed
I could win that's the other way to
change identity is when someone can link
your giftedness to the victory you'll
believe it not like you're great that's
general that's [ __ ] but it's
something you know specific like for you
right now
you wouldn't brag them there's a few
things you know you know what I am good
at these things right I've always been
good at these things it's natural for me
and when someone links that to you
winning like for you for example you're
an unbelievable interviewer you have
this general you you you don't need to
be the smartest person in the room
because you probably are most of the
time and so there's a confidence know
there's a confidence that allows you to
be present when you interview me and
just listen that's different than anyone
who's interviewed me before and so
that's a natural giftedness for you
which is why there's a part of you that
kind of knows I am pretty you wouldn't
say if I am pretty good at this this is
a good program and so the way we change
our identity the way I changed mine was
by getting in touch with what some of my
natural gifts were and then using them
in my career using them and
my life that shifted the weight right
off of me because the weight was I suck
I'm shy I'm small I have a screwed up
family that's the weight right the
lifting off of the way it is these are
some gifts God gave me or the universe
gave me or that at least I know I have
and I can spend my life using these
gifts now I've got hope now my identity
is changing now my life takes a
different direction
that's amazing one thing that you have
talked about and this is I think the
thing about your notions on identity
that I find really incredible is that in
the early days of you building your
business you said and I quote I was a
dick yeah but you were open to hearing
that most people can't hear that so
that's a moment where you accept that
your identity is something that you're
not proud of how do you make that change
how do you go in a new direction where
somebody instead of pointing out
something beautiful they're pointing out
something ugly yeah aren't most of you
the friends that you Revere the most the
most willing to take coaching from you
100 was not me too and so I I can't tell
you why I'm this way but I do believe it
was baseball I never took it personally
when a coach said you're dropping your
shoulder in others because of athletics
when I guy said spread your right leg
out your legs are too close together I
never thought I suck I can't hit I
wanted to know how to hit better I
wanted to know how to throw better and
so for me personally I'm constantly in a
crisis to get to the next version of me
it's not like I'd like to I wish I only
would like to probably have a little
more peace in my life I am in a crisis
to get the next version of me and so the
guy sitting in front of you right now if
I come back in a year and I'm just the
same exact person with the same thoughts
same ideas same ways of delivering them
this was a wasted year of my life right
so I want to know how to get to that
next version of me and so for those of
you that struggle with taking criticism
I get asks of how important is it to you
to grow because you were put on earth to
grow to contribute to serve to help you
were in your way and the current version
of you is perfect as it stands right now
but it will be inferior next year you're
perfect as you are now especially you
ladies listening to this there's all
this messaging you're not this you're
not smart enough women are too dominant
then they're a diva right or you're not
beautiful enough ladies men you - you
are perfect as you exist right now but
that version of you isn't
sufficient next year you gotta be crazy
hungry crisis to get to that next
version of you I want the data I want
the input I want the information I want
the feedback to get to the next version
of me regardless of how it emotionally
makes me feel I'm like driven by that
without that information why am i living
dude right that whole concept like when
people really ask how I've been able to
be successful it's that it's I'm stoked
on Who I am today 100% like I'll give
myself the pat on the back before
anybody else but I'm so desperate to get
better yeah like I'm so hungry to know
why I'm inadequate right now for what I
want right rekt so the way that I sum it
up is your past can never be bigger than
your future so it's like once you've
done something right I built a
billion-dollar business but like for me
I'm not looking at that I want to know
what do I need to do and become in order
to hit that next thing okay that not
only are all achievers doing that but
all happy people do that in other words
here's how we know you're perfect now
you've produced the external life you
have so you are perfect for that life
right now you were all you need to be
right now but if you want a different
life an improved life a growing life
right an increased life this version of
you is inferior to get to that place and
so the reason we have rapport the reason
we like each other
I also want to be surrounded by people
who are not messaging me is enough
enough everything's good man take a
break and I may not want more money you
and I both have a lot of money right we
probably like more but it's not my
driver
I want more peace more gratitude more
abundance more contribution more
memories more experiences more joy more
love that will never be enough for me
put me in the ground if I don't get any
more of that stuff right I want to grow
I want to see the next place and so
that's the journey those are that have
faith if you believe there's this place
you're going to someday that's because
you're always going someplace so you
might as well want to get the
information and the equipment to get
there and that's that's where I want to
go I love that how do you keep your
standard so high and then how do you
push them even higher the next year I'm
really lazy so if you live I know and
that's so I want to give you the honest
one like like left to my own devices
right if you just left me like
I'd like to do I hey man I have no
problem laying around I like sleep I got
people think they meet people like you
know they're like they're robots there
are other life-forms they're just
different than me
no we build habits rituals and
disciplines that serve us okay
now part of those habits rituals and
disciplines have sort of turned me into
a more confident person there's no
question about that
so my standards are mandatory because
you get your standards right and so the
reason my standards are set whole so
high is because I don't want to leave it
up to my own devices right my standard
is one more minute on the treadmill my
standard is one more person I can reach
that day one more phone call one more
something and so for me I raise them
every single year but the way I get to
do it as I link it to my reasons and so
goals are really empty to me I have a
thing on goal-setting but like my big
thing is that you show me someone with
compelling emotional gigantic reasons
I'll show you someone who's changing
their standards all day long so like
give you one quick version that you not
heard before one of the reasons I'm
relatively fit is not just peak State
myelin uncle and my family that died at
50 years old of a heart attacks my
godfather my dad's only brother I kind
of resembled him and I look like him a
lot so on the way back from his funeral
and my reticular activating art attacks
on the TV screen on the airplane I'm
listening to music is the Oprah Winfrey
Show she's going through a new heart
scan hmm I've unplugged my headphones
plugging into the airplane one there's
some of this new scan at cedars-sinai
that at that time was new it could read
the plaques and your arteries the
calcifications without doing you know
really invasively I scheduled it I went
in I had a world-class doctor who
understood reasons and levers instead of
just prescribing clues but when we coach
people you need to do this you need to
do this the doctors do it take this pill
take this he understood leverage and
reasons what you do is you take the scan
then you go to lunch you come back I
took the scan I went to I had a burrito
I came back and I'm in the LA when I
walk in I sit down the doctor comes up
and he says oh my I can't believe these
arteries are in that young body got my
attention we walk back in we sit down he
could still go you need Crestor eat
clean get out of here is know what an
average doctor does right no wired me
with huge reasons he goes let me ask you
a question
I heard your wife's pregnant you have I
said I have a son and he says do you
want to be there when he graduates from
high school to be there for that day I
said yes sir
yeah he goes your wife's pregnant what
do you have it I said a daughter this is
where you get a dad he goes she was six
months pregnant he goes do you would you
like to walk her down the aisle on her
wedding day are you okay that it's some
other man I went was on the scan right
like it he goes I want to be very clear
with you if you keep going down the road
you're going there'll be some other man
with your son at graduation high school
and a strangers walking your daughter
down the aisle that's not even born yet
on her wedding day and I went boom and
he goes but if you do exactly what I
tell you to do you'll be there and so to
this day brother there are mornings when
I wake up not every morning I don't want
to go to the gym I go Bella's wedding
Bella's wedding Bella's wedding so my
standards are high because of my big old
reasons other dudes may miss the gym
that day cuz they're not gonna miss
their daughter's wedding if they don't
go but I've convinced myself I will get
emotional I've convinced myself on this
my daughter's wedding so I will get my
ass out of bed at 4 o'clock in the
morning and I will get to that gym
because my reasons are bigger so my
standards are higher so that's what I
think causes us to have great standards
as huge reasons and you're working with
people that are just at an elite level
how do you help them find those reasons
and attach something to it mm-hmm
so there's two motivators in life you
really want to move somebody someone's
childhood in their death and then in
between other people and so most people
if you start talking to them will tell
you about their childhood because that
impact and they are constantly in the
back of our minds all the time we're
thinking about death it's this thing we
know that's coming for us the end of our
life and what inspires us is really what
I said we all want to be that version we
just don't allow ourselves to feel the
emotion of it so the more you can bring
it closer to you the better so I do that
with them i link their big reasons to
what they want and it opens up a
completely different level for what they
want you start talking to an athlete
about hey you want to hit 30 home runs
this year that's one thing but you start
talking about how'd you like to have
your mom there when you give your Hall
of Fame speech I just interviewed tio
and Marshall thought both Marshalls in
the Hall of Fame and TOS going in and to
watch tos face start to talk about how
his grandmother won't be there who
raised him in the Hall of Fame that was
his motivation you
his whole motivation flow football
grandma not not hall-of-fame not you
know Pro Bowls grandma it's always
people that we link these achievements
to so that's how I get them to it
believe it or not even athletes I get
them talking to me about the people and
dreams they have then we link their
goals to them that's amazing
tell me about the time where you were
trying to give a speech and you were so
freaked out that your vision was blurry
and it couldn't even read it was on your
card because honestly like if I hadn't
heard you tell that story I would just
assume you're really good at this
by nature because you're so good at this
like you're so good at communicating
it's crazy and I've seen you in front of
like 50 thousand people's bananas right
so how did you start from like just
absolutely being paralyzed by fear like
what was that process oh my gosh
so well you really do your research yeah
my first time I talked I literally went
up and blanked out like I literally
could not think I could not see the card
how I fixed it speaking was over time
but I'll give you a couple of key things
on speaking for everybody one I had to I
had to figure out you know what someone
said because you love baseball
you don't stutter when you talk about
baseball you don't get insecure I go
well I love that and I believe in it
they're like oh you don't you know you
talk about your kids you're great I
thought oh there's a correlation here
between me actually saying what I
believe and what I'm passionate about
and my ability to communicate it and so
that now my first layer is always I must
be passionate about it and I must
believe it and I'm never doing an
impression of another person so I always
come from a place of saying what I
really believe because you can't
transfer to somebody that which you
don't experience yourself I can give you
passion I can give you energy I can give
you my belief if I'm experiencing it big
key as a speaker I'll give everybody
stop trying to convince everybody of
what you're saying that's not the
threshold of being a good communicator
people do not need to believe what
you're saying they need to believe you
believe what you're saying and as long
as they believe you believe what you're
saying you're an effective speaker I
stopped trying to get people to believe
me there's a neediness there's a
salesmanship to that I stopped that it's
a subtle difference I just want you to
believe I believe it that's influence
influences you believe I believe it Wow
yeah that's that that's a pretty intense
evolution for or just that one moment
that I'd really love to get
color on and maybe this just comes down
to what your reasons were after that
first attempt which had to like just
been searing into your mind anxiety
about speaking horrific how did you get
up the second time yeah same room same
people that helped for me but I figured
out I didn't have any preparation so my
confidence when I speak now just like
this interview the amount of preparation
you've done for this is it is more than
anyone who's interviewed me right and so
me the separation is in the preparation
like I have to be prepared I have to
know what I'm going to talk about and so
that second time I I knew every single
thing I was going to say I didn't do
great but I did what I said I was going
to do I got up and I did it I got up and
I delivered and I just be candid with
you I liked the feeling
eventually that I effected somebody I
liked the feeling that maybe the first
time I spoke I bet didn't affect anybody
that second time maybe there were 40
people there maybe one person I helped
and I had this very weird capacity now
to focus on the ones I help I actually
focus if I speak to 50,000 people
there's got to be 3,000 people there who
think I suck there has to be there's at
least thirty right there's someone who
does and if I obsessed over those 30
people that's what made me nervous I was
obsessed with just basically reaching
somebody so the irony was the beginning
of my speaking career it was my anxiety
and fear of it that was what was
inspiring about me not the words I said
over time I think the words became more
inspiring but I found what was inspiring
about me what put them in spirit and it
was overcoming my anxiety and fear of
actually doing what they saw I was at
the gym yesterday and a woman drove by
me in a wheelchair at the gym I was
working out pretty hard and she wheeled
by me heavyset lady in a wheelchair I'd
be honest with you I watched her wheel
past me she inspired me do you know what
courage it takes to get in your
wheelchair and decide I'm gonna go to
the gym right I'm gonna go to the gym
she's heavyset awkward that inspired me
far more than the jacked up dude doing
60 pound curls I mean that's inspiring
but you see that a woman in a wheelchair
at a gym with her two pound dumbbells
because her legs don't work but she went
in there anyway and you know how
unsecure she was about going
there she's the only person in a
wheelchair she doesn't know what she's
gonna see how people are gonna react to
her she's not in shape she's never full
makeup on and her little you know halter
top like the other girls in there and
she's right in there she was right in
there working out right next to them
right I couldn't take my eyes off her I
couldn't take my eyes off her and I
ended up telling her that she was
leaving I left what I was doing I walked
over I said I just want you to know
something you're inspiring me this is
wonderful her face just lit up because
you know how sad she how insecure she
was about being in there most inspiring
person is one overcoming the fear of
doing something not the person who's
excellent at it so yeah I do it I love
that way way love that this is a little
bit different but something you were
saying a minute ago reminded me of your
whole notion of you've got a step into
the dream you've got to touch the dream
I love that I think that's so powerful
and so very dude I was so moved by your
whole pointing at the cliff with you
then girlfriend now wife yeah like one
day we're gonna live there because my
wife and I used to drive around this
neighborhood and say like one day and
dude I have the chills again when you
said your obsessions become your
possessions like that is literally like
that thing you really think about and
focus on what do you mean by stepping
into the dream and how can it serve
people that's wonderful by the way you
picked a really good place to step into
thank you I got to tell you that your
mind gravitates towards which it is most
familiar with and so if you're really
familiar with what you're worried about
and what your problems are and your
fears are and that becomes your
dominating thinking I know you've all
heard this but here's the reason why
your mind loves what's familiar yeah
okay and so if you don't go touch dreams
for example just experience it for a
second for example we would go down once
every eight weeks if I did well in
business we really knocked it out we
could find a deal I had 200 bucks we'd
go to the ritz-carlton or some hotel
ocean and for one day oceanfront feel
like what it felt like to valet your car
right walk in the lobby
mr. mile at welcome back right she'd go
get a massage I play a little bit of
golf and just for that day I touch the
dream and then we do it again in a month
or two and again in a month just a
little taste of it my mind began to
begin to become familiar with it and
more crazy I started to kind of trick
myself into thinking I
there because we never end up anywhere
we don't believe we don't belong and
then we're not familiar with so there's
these things you'd like to do in your
life either visually seeing them over
and over again and repeating those
images to yourself that's powerful but a
double whammy is to not only repeat them
and see them but to go to see there's
one thing that's a visual stimulus in
your brain that makes you want to do
something the triple whammy is if you
could see it touch it feel it and smell
it if you allow all your senses to
experience something it becomes far more
familiar to your brain and so I'm a
massive massive advocate of touching a
dream in any form you can get it the
best of which is actually going and
experiencing it short-term you begin to
believe you belong there you're a little
bit better and so I you will not
probably produce many things in your
life that you've not visited either
mentally or literally thousands of times
and so if you want to end up somewhere
you better be visiting them those could
be dreams visions but the most important
thing is if you could actually more
powerful is you go touch them short-term
massive difference drive by the
neighborhood see the cars if you want to
spend your life in service for your
church or your community take a day out
every month and actually do it know what
it feels like for an afternoon to feed
the homeless or to do and you begin to
love it and feel it and believe you
belong there
more and more chance that you'll be able
to do that full-time someday dude that
that's amazing before I ask my last
question tell these guys where they can
find your amazing content thank you
any edmy let comm which is my le TT comm
I've got a YouTube channel and Instagram
and Facebook and all that stuff too but
your any of the normal platforms if you
google my name you'll you'll see my
stuff out there so yes indeed you will
thanks alright my last question what is
the impact that you want to have on the
world hmm
the impact they want to have in the
world is it sounds real general but it's
something that I'm obsessed with is I
want to inspire as many people as I
physically can in their lives to chase
down the ultimate version of them in
their way in their place and in their
space and so I happen to have a little
number written down I think I can reach
a hundred million people before I leave
here with just that message of chase
down the version of you that you were
born to be that version of you or myself
it has nothing to do it could have to do
with money but it could have to do with
the
people that you reach the people you
touch the one person's life you change
see the one thing in business that
people miss is that someone hired me
into the business I met so although I'm
a pretty good business story what about
the person who gave me the shot what
about that door that opened and how many
people did he reach and no one even
knows his name
and so I want to be that person who
gives people their platform their shot
their shot at life their ability to join
the ranks of people who meet the highest
version of themselves and so that's the
impact I want to make in the world
it's incredible dude thank you so much
for them so who's man I loved it thank
you guys when I say that you're gonna
want to go watch this man's content when
I think about becoming that idealized
version of myself the very next thing I
think is how do I become that best
version of myself and that is my
obsession that's the thing that I want
to bring to the world and watching his
content and seeing how much of that he
gives how frequently he can go pass just
the like high-level headline and really
get into what you actually need to do in
fact I highly encourage you go back
watch this episode again cuz he breaks
it down there were several times where
he went through do this this and this
it's deadly simple and it is insanely
powerful you guys know me if you watch
these out shows you know me I'm telling
you right now I'm actually having a hard
time capturing how much I was impacted
by his stuff it's really rare that while
I'm researching somebody I'll do a
social shout-out because I'm that
impacted by what I'm watching I couldn't
stop myself
it's just absolutely incredible somebody
that's been through it who does not try
to make themselves seem cool but they
really are [ __ ] cool like that's the
best part he's done extraordinary things
extraordinary things but he didn't start
anywhere extraordinary and that's what
makes it so fascinating and he is
killing himself with every second of
every video to tell you exactly what he
did what he thinks what he does how he
made those changes and if you do it you
can make those changes too I believe
that to the core of my being so go check
out his content it will change you if
you let it all right my friends if you
haven't already be sure to subscribe and
until next time be legendary
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