Kind: captions
Language: en
why do you think it's important to move
towards things that scare you because on
the other side of that is your growth
another side of that is strength even
in going through pain like i look at
pain as a positive thing i'm not talking
about putting yourself through pain on
purpose
but it's just like working out you know
the only way you're gonna get strength
in your life
is if you go through that hard moment
that tough moment i wouldn't have a
story if it wasn't for the sucky times
in my life i wouldn't have a story if it
wasn't for me going through my depressed
moments so realize this just because
it's a chapter
it doesn't mean it's your whole story so
for me i just understand it's very
important to embrace pain to go through
it because i believe the foundation of
all strength is pain
[Music]
hey everybody welcome to impact theory
today's guest is a former nfl wide
receiver and one of the biggest social
influencers on the planet his roughly 10
million followers on facebook alone gets
hundreds of thousands of shares per post
has a cumulative social reach of nearly
million people and he's generated more
than one billion views worldwide he's
considered by many to be one of the most
impactful speakers of his entire
generation and as a result he's been
invited to bring his unique blend of
motivation wisdom and performance art to
stages from the us to fiji to south
africa and just about everywhere in
between a powerful orator with a home
gift for spoken word he's able to get
through to a lot of people that
otherwise feel alienated from the very
idea of self-help with a raw
no-holds-barred approach that absolutely
drips with authenticity he draws people
in and gets them to take responsibility
for themselves and begin taking the
concrete steps that will help them
actually improve their lives so please
help me in welcoming the founder and
president of the non-profit organization
rehab time the author of the greatest
you and the only man i know that can
make poetry sound cool as hell trent
shelton
good to see you man me too
welcome and thanks for having me this is
great now you got people out here in
force for you today dude that's cool
love man i appreciate it no question
getting to know you has been really
really cool i the first time we met you
were really quiet you definitely made
good on the the notion that you are
secretly an introvert
yeah for sure that is true you're not
somebody who needs the spotlight but
you've done an extraordinary job of
impacting people's lives and the whole
notion that you have of your perspective
can be your prison i find really
interesting and i think a lot of people
would have leaned into this well i'm an
nfl guy i'm introverted
i'm never going to get up on stage it's
never going to be my stick how did you
come to be the person that we all know
today
well with me being an introvert it
doesn't mean i'm shy you know i always
like to tell people like i think one of
my greatest abilities and i think one of
the greatest abilities of people is
being a listener and so i'm always
observing i'm always listening i'm
always
you know looking out for new ideas so
when i'm quiet i'm usually thinking you
know and my grandma told me this a long
time ago and i'll never forget it bless
her so she said uh when you speak
make sure your words count and people
will listen and so i just try to make my
words count when i speak
and i never wanted to be a speaker man
it wasn't like i grew up was like that's
my goal i want to be a speaker you know
nah it wasn't that it was uh we get into
this story but it was me losing my nfl
career and kind of getting forced into a
stage that i didn't want to do it but my
friend forced me in i found my power and
that moment was like dang this is what i
was created to do like i really knew it
you know that feeling
and ever since then man it's been
history now the first time that you
spoke was in front of 5 000 people yeah
the first exactly yeah the first big one
and so like that's pretty crazy like
walk me through if you're not because
you've said that that was your biggest
fear getting up and for sure people so
how did you
get to the point where you could walk on
stage like that uh i've done a lot of
speaking 5000 is a big number
like that's not for play and it was kids
too so that's even worse man you know
because i'm like i know teenagers i know
i was when i was a teenager i'm like ah
so uh my friend his name is jonathan
evans and uh he reached out to me and he
talked me into it man and i was like he
used the notion of are you scared this
whole process and i was like it's like
it's just five minutes and you know when
you first start speaking five minutes
seems like five hours
so i said you know what let me do it i
can go up there talk about sports
they'll think it's cool and i'll get off
the stage so that whole night before
like i prepared it like it was like
literally a rap verse i knew everything
i was like i'm gonna hit him right here
i got it memorized i am good
so i get to i get to the event and i'm
backstage and jonathan comes up to me
he's like are you scared and i was like
yeah bro i'm really scared right now he
was like man don't worry about it man
they love you they love you he's like
plus you have your tattoos out they'll
just relate to you i think you're a
rapper anyway so i get on stage and i
remember looking out
and 5 000 kids were looking at me and
gave me that look and my eyes was like
what is this guy about to talk about
and i literally grabbed the microphone
and i went blank
i forgot everything i prepared stage
fright
and in that moment
i remember telling myself this you got a
choice right now either you can fold or
you can step up either you can sink or
you can swim and it's like and i just
said go from the heart and it connected
with those kids
like i've never seen before those kids
were quiet their eyes were big after i
got off the stage they were asking me
all these questions about life i'm like
i don't know everything like what
and um in that moment
i was actually supposed to go to new
orleans the next day for an arena
football i'd sign with him
and i said you know what i'm not doing
it and i called the coach and the coach
he like literally hung up in my face
he's like what are you gonna do is i was
like i'm gonna be a speaker rehab time
he was like what's that and i was like
just gonna be a speaker man he hung up
quick it's like good luck and he hung up
and then i called my friends and my mom
and those conversations didn't go like i
thought they would go you know it wasn't
my mom she was supportive but she was
worried out of protection and that's
when rehab time started i didn't have
any followers and i walked into my
purpose like
without that's really stepping out on
faith in fear and i did it
there's so much there i want to talk
about i want to go back though to
something you said that i never picked
up on in your story before you said that
he came at me your friend who got you to
speak he came at me saying like
is this a fear thing was he like
poking you about it like oh man come on
you can't be afraid of this yeah he was
using that like the man thing right are
you scared and i was like no i'm not
scared and he just kept on like coming
at me and jonathan he's the type of guy
that it's hard for you to say no to like
he's just he's just a guy to get you to
do things in a positive way and yeah he
used that against me he's like man
i know you like if you was to rap you
wouldn't be scared playing football
you're not scared like this is to impact
kids like why are you so scared and i
was like i'm not scared i just don't
want to do it you know that's i want to
play football i'm not a speaker that's
not my
gift
he was like i think you'll surprise
yourself and literally him pushing me on
that stage changed my life forever it's
incredible i love that he came after you
like that and i don't actually don't
know how you feel about that the using
tactics like that to me i'm all for i
use it all myself for sure like when i
don't want to do something i'll push
myself to
toughen up man up like you know whatever
language people use but that's for sure
what i tell myself do you use those kind
of techniques on yourself how do you
think about
big time i call them leverage questions
and i gain leverage on myself all the
time even when i'm speaking backstage
i'll
i always tell people as a speaker i
think if you're nervous if you're scared
you're too into yourself you're worried
about you you're worried about how
you're going to sound and as a speaker
your job is to be a servant your job is
to go out there and serve them stop
worrying about how you look how you
sound and get more into serving and so i
would tell myself like you're being
selfish right now and i was like i don't
want to be selfish you know and so even
when i'm scared or have fear i'll go to
the point where my kids like i'll go
there like my kids depend on you like i
was actually running today by running a
can and i was like if i quit on here i'm
quitting on my kids
it's just things like that keep me
pushing as a sports player i think it
comes from that background yeah leverage
questions i like that yeah leverage
questions why do you think it's
important to move towards things that
scare you
because on the other side of that is
your growth
another side of that is strength even
in going through pain like i look at
pain as a positive thing i'm not talking
about putting yourself through pain on
purpose
but it's just like working out you know
the only way you're going to get
strength in your life is if you go
through that hard moment that tough
moment i wouldn't have a story if it
wasn't for the sucky times in my life i
wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for
me going through my depressed moments so
realize this just because it's a chapter
it doesn't mean it's your whole story so
for me i just understand that it's very
important to embrace pain to go through
it because i believe the foundation of
all strength is pain
all right so speaking of chapters i
think that one of the most interesting
thing that anybody can put themselves
through is becoming a professional
athlete yeah um and i get that it sort
of wrapped up but you talk a lot in the
book about a champion's mindset yeah
how did you get to the point where you
could push yourself as hard as you did
to get into the nfl i mean that's that's
really extraordinary you have a stat
what's the stat about the number of
people that actually get into the nfl
it's less than one percent it's like
point zero zero zero point it's crazy
yes and i told my son the other day he's
like i'm gonna make it to nfl i was like
you better be working hard at 99 percent
of the people in the world you know it's
very very hard and for me
it was all i ever wanted it new it was
like no other option for me so
that's the powerful thing about tunnel
vision
is that when you really focus on
something you really want it it's very
possible but the thing is a lot of
people
aren't willing to go through the hard
times putting the work
when nobody's looking i think i tell my
son all the time i'm like okay you went
to track practice but guess what this is
something everybody does what are you
gonna do
that
your teammates aren't doing because you
don't have to just be the best on your
team you got to be the best in your city
the best in your state one of the best
in the world to be able to make it so
it's a whole
different level of commitment and that's
where that championship mindset it came
to me from
i want to talk about that so i don't
know how much you know about will smith
but watching him from afar has been
really really intriguing and he talked
about on when they were doing the karate
kid with his son yeah and his son got
hurt like he injured his knee and will
was like on him he's like you
got to get back out there like you got
to push and jaden's response and he was
way young
like kind of slack but he was like i
want mom and like goes over with his mom
and people like will why are you pushing
him so hard he said i'm teaching my son
how to hunt
yeah and i thought that gives me the
chills now like i thought that was
really powerful how do you think about
that with your son do you do you worry
about pushing too hard you worry about
not pushing enough like what does that
relationship look like
so
with tristan
i push him but i want him to want it i
don't want him to want it because daddy
wants it for him because to me that's
great but if i got to push you to do
something i'm there to support you but
if i got to push you to do it it means
you really don't want to do it so this
whole process he's 10 years old and
people thought like you know you see
kids playing at five and six and their
dad is like
you know going super hard on their kids
and i get it but at the end of the day i
want him to want sports i want him to
want football like you want to be a
doctor that's fine with me but you got
to understand the same mindset to be
successful you can take that in any
field so you're going to play sports for
the simple fact that i know this can
build you up for whatever you want to do
it teaches you perseverance it teaches
you
how to handle pressure moments it
teaches you how to work hard the ethics
of like sports is great but at the end
of the day i'm like tristan
i can want you to be a superstar but
when you really want it like when it's
like when you want to when you wake up
at 6 a.m without me waking you up when
you say hey i want to go work on routes
without me telling you
that's when you'll be obese and that's
when you'll be super successful at it
when did you start wanting success in
football that badly
when i was six wow man would you drove
that
probably want to be better than my two
older brothers but what really helped me
was
blessed enough i was able to live across
the street from a professional football
player and
it made it very tangible for me seeing
like because you know you're growing up
you see these sport your heroes as like
you know you think they're
not human and so i was able to humanize
like the dream at that moment in my life
i'm like oh this dude is just working
hard he's running around the block just
like other people and i got around that
my uncle he still coaches for the
chargers but he was coaching even back
then when i was a little kid so i was
blessed enough to be around it i got to
see jerry rice i got to see t.o and so
it made it real for me so i'm like if
they can do it they breathe just like i
breathe
you know they just work hard and they
just want it and so at that moment i
realized that it's super possible but i
knew i had to put in the work to
actually make it a reality for me did i
love that i wish i had encountered that
when i was young the bad news is i don't
know that it would have resonated with
me when i was a kid yeah
i was not prepared to push myself
physically to get good at something when
i was young it was always about the
easiest path for me and i think about
this a lot with people in my community
and i know you'll get this because you
have such a thriving community yeah but
the one thing i come back to all the
time is i can't want it for you that's
right and so the thing that haunts my
dreams is how do you help people create
desire
and should you what do you think about
that like so there's the whole buddhist
phrase that all of suffering is born of
desire which i actually think is true
and yet i think some of the greatest
joys are born of desire and so my thing
is i've gone all the way in on
desire like building desire to want
something to need it even though
objectively it like there's really
nothing to it
how do you think about want and desire
well
the leverage that i use with my
supporters is i mean at the end of the
day people say trent you changed my life
and i'm totally against that like i'm
like i didn't change your life i'm not a
life changer i just plant seeds like you
had to make the decision to actually
apply
and actually do it but i use the
leverage question of
when you get to your last day on earth
when you're sick are you going to look
back and realize that you wasted your
whole entire life settling for less
not being who you're created to be
and even with myself like i don't want
to look back on life like that i don't
want to go to my grave within completion
so i talk to him like that some of you
are going to go to your grave site when
in completion i don't know who said this
quote but they said uh you know the
richest place on the world is in the
graveyard and it's true because there's
so many dreams talents and visions in
there that people for whatever reason
fear you know just life they never
unwrap those gifts and when i talk to
them about that i used to actually this
might seem weird but i used to actually
go
to the cemetery
really
yep and i would bring one of my friends
with me and um i would say bro we walked
around there it's like this is reality
like we're going to be here and we
walked around and we looked at the
tombstones and like death has no
you know has no age there were people
that were three
people that were 80. and it's like i'm
gonna be here one day
and when i'm here
i want to have a fulfilled life i don't
want people to talk about me at a
funeral and makeup stuff
i wanted to be like
trent really served this world and he
really used his life not just for
himself but to impact other people and
so i'm just i know i go back to leverage
but i'm big on that and that like flips
the switch for me like
time is ticking
and so you either can waste your day or
you can do something with it
one of the chapters in your book if i'm
not mistaken it was the last chapter is
about legacy yeah how do you think about
legacy i like personally i don't think a
lot about legacy i think a lot about
phases of our lives so i i fully
resonate with what you're saying about
walking around the graveyard which i
would love to do someday that
would be real
um
but how do you conceptualize that
do you have markers in your head about
what you're striving towards like how
deep do you go in sort of the like we're
all headed to the grave yeah i don't i
don't get to
the particular parts of it like you know
like how my funeral's gonna be set up
that creeps me out
so i don't get that end up but i do
think about like the question that i ask
myself and it's come up a lot more to me
you know and i haven't figured out why
but i asked myself you know like what
really matters and there's a quote by
bob goff and i'm probably not gonna get
this right but he said basically like
his biggest fear was
like being successful at the wrong
things
and the quote is like way more beautiful
than that but i'm paraphrasing it's like
i used to have a fear of not succeeding
but my fear now is succeeding at the
wrong things
and i think about that a lot like what's
really going to matter at the end of my
life and i literally prioritize my life
around that i heard you say something
once you want to talk about i'm going to
butcher one of your just insanely
eloquent and beautiful quotes but you
said
you're not a success
unless you're a success to your family
yeah and i thought that was really
interesting something because i don't
have kids i don't spend a lot of time
about but i do think a lot about what my
wife thinks of me like that's a far more
powerful motivator to me and then you
talked about how
basically how do you feel about yourself
and if you don't feel good about
yourself then you've got some
fundamental flaw that you need to
address
how do you help people begin to take
stock of where they're at with
themselves reality
so i have a rehab process and the first
r is reality is facing reality too many
people run from it you know my quota is
you'll never win your war by running
from your battles and so you got to step
up and you got to face it i don't care
what it is
it might be something in your past it
might suck to face it for me it was
facing that my
dream was over my identity so for
somebody watching this it might be a
relationship it might be a job but i
kept running and the thing about it like
you can run all you want but reality is
going to be right there when you stop
and it's going to chase you or even if
it doesn't chase you're going to be
right there you have to face it so i
really let people know that
acknowledgement is power people think if
i acknow knowledge that i'm hurt or i
need help
i need help is the most powerful thing
that you can say
and i'll realize that in my life because
immediately you have people that are
going to help you and grow your life
exposing yourself like in a positive way
obviously but expose yourself we think
that we always have to be so sheltered
that we have to be so strong especially
with the social media world it's like oh
i have to have everything together
that's like a silent depression that's
gonna happen when you suppress things
like that when you smile for the camera
but die behind the scenes which i did so
well for so long in my life you're never
gonna fool the person that you see in
the mirror every single day so i've
gotten really comfortable with saying
i suck at this i need help and literally
in my business life and my personal life
in the last year it's been the last
greatest year of my life just by asking
for help and exposing my weaknesses in
certain areas
yeah it's interesting your obsession
with authenticity with being really who
you are at all times i think is is
really cool to see you
um get the kind of community that you've
gotten around that being vulnerable and
opening yourself up um
but what i find really interesting is
you're also the flip side of the coin so
as you were talking i was like he's
absolutely right but the reason that i'm
willing to listen to you about it is
because you're also driven you're trying
to improve yourself you are trying to be
great you are trying to be strong and
tough you're just not afraid
yeah like how do you do both
i just i'm i'm real with myself and i'm
honest like we're humans you're gonna i
mean everybody isn't on all the time you
know we all have our struggles our
silent battles as i like to call them
and instead of ignoring those solemn
battles i let them out but yes i am a
person that's will tell you make the
world respect your greatness i'm very
firm on that i'm a person that believes
in myself i'm a person that wants you
because i believe that's contagious like
even with social media i feel like
that's what really grew my platform is
people looked at my life not because of
my knowledge or whatever it's like trent
really believes this like he really does
he really lives it he really he doesn't
just talk it or type it he lives and
that's a big thing for me you know i can
tell people a secret right be
transparent like in a real way because
that creates connection now it's like i
can relate to that person you know
growing up in the church i'm gonna be
real with you tom like i would watch
pastors and preachers and i would be
like
i could never be them because it was
always perfection i was like i could
never beat them so i just chose a
different lifestyle but now when i see
people like say you know what i struggle
with this i struggle with addiction
doesn't mean you're not awesome because
you have addictions everybody has
addictions everybody has about battles
some people just hot there is better so
i relate more to that because now it
becomes attainable now you become
relatable to me and i can be like wow
like i can still go through this there's
nothing wrong with me i'm a human i'm
going to have my insecurities my flaws
and i can actually grow from it so i
think we need more examples of the world
of that and that's what i just try to
give people as much as i can you have a
great way of like packaging things up
and these really memorable
phrases one that you said earlier that i
want to get back to is you said a lot of
people never unwrap their gift yeah and
that really hit me what is that
look like like how does one unwrap their
gift yeah it's it's a process this is
the process of i think face and fear i
mean
and we can talk about fear for like
because
face and fear is is super important we
can talk about like my process with that
i think in order to unwrap your gift so
i'm not gonna go into my skylife story
that'll take forever but i realize like
what fear is right and for me
fear is creating a known result right
from a situation we haven't experienced
yet and so when i used to go back to
football when i would be scared to go
out there and perform i'd be like you
know what i'm going to drop the ball
i'm gonna miss the pass and the whole
crowd of 80 000 people is going to be
like
so i'm like i'm scared now stage when
i'm on stage before i was speaking what
do you think i was thinking i'm gonna
freeze up again nobody's gonna care
all of these things i realized that i
was creating a result before i ever
experienced it and so i said hmm
if that's the case
i need to create something better on the
other side of that door something more
empowering that's going to force me to
actually go through the door so now when
i speak i say you know what i'm going to
impact at least one life so go out there
and do it you know when it comes to my
skydiving of course that thing was
the parachute's not going to open you're
going to die of course you're not going
to jump out of playing but i immediately
changed that to this is going to be the
most incredible thing and also leverage
where now i can use this in every area
of my life because i conquered my
biggest fear so
people out there that are going through
fear for moments it's kind of like this
you will never step into the ring
if you're already telling yourself that
you're gonna lose before the fight
you'll never do that like why would you
right so tell yourself you're gonna win
even if you get knocked down guess what
you're never knocked out in life until
you actually tap out into your last day
so
figure out that leverage point with your
fear what's gonna help you walk through
the door
and then you have to just give it to the
world i never knew speaking was my gift
until i actually went out there and
failed actually went out there and
embarrassed myself and i realized like
wow this is what i was created to do and
i knew that because
i like to put it like this
and i hope they get it that's watching
this but i've never had so much like
peace
in the midst of like fear never had so
much confidence in the midst of like my
weakness in that moment
and so
when it comes to gifts think about it
like this like when someone gives you a
physical gift like christmas and your
birthday what do you do
you unwrap it you show it to the world
you put on instagram
you got that same gift inside you that
the world needs and you're doing the
world of disservice
by leaving your gift wrapped up somebody
needs your story my mom told me this and
i'll never forget he said trent
you're assigned to reach people i don't
know how many but you're assigned to
reach people that nobody else can reach
but you
she said everybody has that
and the more you leave your gift wrapped
those people that need your message that
need your encouragement whatever it is
that needs your talent
they're never gonna get it and you're
not gonna leave this world a better
place
i know people watching right now are
thinking one question what is my gift
yeah i want to unwrap it all day long
yeah how do people identify what their
gift is enough to be able to unwrap it
this is a this is a good question this
is deep
so can we talk about purpose for a
minute and go into this so
this is my way of purpose and i've never
heard nobody talk about this and some
people might be like that's not right
but everybody tells you to find your
purpose right
and i'm just like where
like who has your purpose like the world
doubt the world has your purpose the
world might have your validation of who
you are they might be like oh you're
great at this and so they give you that
validation
talk about this in the book
i believe and i realized this like last
year and i actually wrote this chapter i
went back and i changed it all because
i'm like i'm telling people telling
people to search for purpose i believe
you are a purpose
i believe you are purpose you're created
for a purpose like we noticed that this
is like a zero percent chance of you
being you
you are that so when you operate from
there it gives you that confidence that
i am that it's not something i search
for you can take your life wherever you
want to take it what you're looking for
is placement
right it's like so for me rehab time is
not my purpose it's my placement
interesting i can take
trent to
down the street and go impact lives
because i am purpose right football if
my mom was right back then i could use
that platform to be who i am so you can
take your life anywhere and i want
people to know that because some people
think when you lose a dream or you lose
something that it's over
but you didn't lose who you are you lost
that thing that placement right you so
that's what i think about purpose and
i would tell people like understand what
your magnet is and when it comes to that
ask people and so when i look back over
my life
ever since i was five years old people
have been telling me i had this gift
but i was so focused on what i wanted to
do that i couldn't even hear that
yeah that's really interesting to me the
notion of
the difference between what you want and
where you thrive that's definitely using
my words not yours but yeah
that whole dynamic is interesting
another thing that you've said that i'm
really drawn to is
i think you were talking at one point
and you said
hey if you've got like a garbage part of
your personality don't pretend that it's
not there don't pretend it doesn't need
to be improved like address that make
the change yeah and that like it's that
realism of you've got like the
the painting the picture of the dream
and the gift and you are a purpose and
all that but also recognize that you
have these really dysfunctional parts of
your personality um how can people
address a dysfunctional part of their
personality yeah i think you have to you
just have to face it and deal with it
like i think it's just too hard to
suppress it it's too hard to ignore it
and so you have to be honest with
yourself and truthful with yourself and
i think a lot of times what it is is for
me
i was expecting things from people that
i wasn't giving to people and so that's
very very selfish you know so i had to
look at myself and say you know what
this part of my personality
needs to be changed it needs to be fixed
so it's that reality that you have to
have with yourself and that that
truthfulness and
not knowing that
it doesn't make you weak by admitting
these things it doesn't make you less by
admitting these things and i bring it
back to social media because just this
generation
it's the filter life you know like even
in real life like everybody wants to put
up this filter and they think that's
their superpower but your superpower is
literally just being real
and that's where you grow at like you
have to acknowledge that i need help in
this area i have faults i have flaws
right here
let me fix these things and that's going
to make you more of a a superhuman
you just mentioned suppression you've
talked about how suppression leads to
depression yeah talk to me about that
why does that happen and why does it
matter
it matters a lot um
you know just even
for me even to get to that point of
understanding that you know my colleague
one of my best friends committed suicide
and that changed my life like when we
talk about going to the graveyard it was
right around right after that time when
i started thinking about life and what's
going on
and
i realized that
he
was suppressing so many things he didn't
have an outlet and i mean if we take
from a physical standpoint i mean if you
keep suppressing something what's going
to happen it's going to explode at one
point and so what you don't face
are things that you know you don't fix
and so for me it's about letting it out
you know a lot of my videos people don't
realize like therapy
is not a weakness especially as for men
like go to therapy have somebody you can
talk to have a brotherhood a manhood
have somebody you can same thing with
women you got to have your click of
people where you can have open dialogue
without being judged to be able to let
these emotions out because those if you
don't deal with your pain your pain will
definitely deal with you it will and
i've been there before i've been like i
said the person that would say i'm okay
when i'm not okay when i was sitting in
my mom's room my mom would say trin are
you good yeah i'm good when i wasn't
good at all and i got to those moments
where
i don't know if it was suicidal thoughts
but i didn't care about living if
something happened to me might be better
off because my life is over that's the
way i felt and so i had to let those
things out and my way at that time was
music
with your mindset how are you dealing
with your mom's cancer yeah it's hard
it's very hard my mom
had cancer and what made it hard was she
beat stage for living in breasts and i'm
with her at the at her last treatment
she rings the bell she's like trent
i don't feel and it's on my instagram
like she's where she runs the bunch of
this trend i don't feel something don't
feel right i'm like mommy you're all
right you just sing your mind
she goes to the doctor that next maybe
two days later and they find out after
tests that she has brain cancer
so at that moment i'm like
it's not fair
you know and i started questioning my
faith
and i have to do like a deep search and
a deep dive of
you know understanding and finding a
perspective my perspective was my prison
at that point
and what
what really helped my perspective and
i wish it wouldn't have helped but it
did um
my best friend's mother died
in her sleep
didn't have anything
and so i told my mom i was like mom
as much as this sucks you're still here
you having to go through treatments
means you're still alive that pain
means you're still alive
and
that's the perspective that i'm taking
with it now like there's people who wish
they could have this pain there's people
who wish they could
you know be alive to even feel cancer
and she's progressing with it though and
uh it's hard man i tell people all the
time i don't know the exact words to
even tell people how to how i'm dealing
with it you know i'm just trying my best
to be strong for her and
try to see the beauty in it
wow that's interesting i did not expect
you to say that how do you see the
beauty in cancer in anything like that
well
it's for me seeing that
she still has an opportunity
to overcome it
and i think you know
it's that is that power perspective and
that and saying you know what
her life might not be how she wants us
to be but at least she has life and
that's how i look at my life at times
and everybody should look at their life
yeah life might not be adding up to what
you wanted to add up to
at least you have another every single
day is a new beginning every day is a
new beginning and
certain days aren't going to look like
you want them to look
but
at least you have another chance like a
hundred and i tell us that all the time
150 000 people die every day that's 55
million people a year
if you're looking for a blessing
put your hand over your heart realize
that's your blessing you have another
opportunity at life and that's why i'm
so intrigued and this is like geeky
probably but i'm so intrigued with
sunrises and sunsets a sunrise
lets me know that i have another day and
at sunset means i made it through
another day
and so i'm i love sunrises and sunsets
and i thank god for it
it's really interesting you just hit me
with that because today in particular
the i had so much to do
self-created i don't ever have to work
again if i don't want to
but i had so much that i had allowed to
be on my plate that the sunrise was
almost frustrating for me because it
meant that time was going by and i just
wanted it to stay dark and i wanted to
have more time to work and get something
done as you were saying i was like
now that's a really powerful perspective
shift to like one simple
difference of framing of like you know
wow i'm here i have
the
opportunity to have a lot of my plate
and to dig through it that's uh just and
it was a point like that's funny you
said a lot a lot on your plate i don't
know where rapper is i think it's lil
wayne i think he says like a lot of my
plate is not my favorite dish she said
that and i think it's a genius line
because i'm like that is like
that is true because there are times
like because i went i go through these
moments like i'm flying everywhere and
i'm just like gosh i gotta fly here like
my book is like this is crazy and i i
caught myself i'm like bro
like do you realize the life that you
have right now
there will be times like you dreamed of
this
you know even of course i thought it
would be football but like you dreamed
of this
you didn't have nothing on your plate
and you were you would pray to have
anything on it so don't get you know of
course what i don't want to overwhelm
myself with stuff but don't complain
when you have too much on your plate
because there's people that have nothing
on it and so that those are the
perspective shifts that i use like a lot
every single day every time i'm
complaining i go to that like you're
blessed to be able to be in this
position
like you wanted this this was your dream
you know so for sure
you talked about mental health earlier
yeah like so okay you hike for your own
mental health what are other things you
work out like a demon is that is that a
mental health for sure for sure so walk
us through what are the things you do to
really take care of yourself so um
i guess to put in a framework it might
seem corny but i call it the four ace um
and it's simple i mean of course there's
science behind it with the brain and
oxytocin and dopamine all these things
that were released but so i started with
appreciation for me like appreciation so
um for me that is whatever it is that
day appreciation for life my breath my
kids whatever roof over my head all of
those things i thank god for it the
second thing that i do and i do these
i try to do them every morning when i
don't do them i can definitely feel a
difference
the second thing is uh affection you
know i give my wife i take my son to
school every day give him a hug give my
daughter if she's awake a hug because i
always say hug a day keeps depression
away hugs hugs really help you like
there's science behind it and then the
third thing is accomplishment so i
always set up one win for me whatever
that is that could be i used to it's
funny i used to have a basketball goal i
don't know if you heard this story but i
had a basketball go outside we got rid
of it but i would put it like on seven
foot because i was like i conduct 10
when i was like it's early in the
morning like i can't jump that high
early in the morning i would dunk it
because you ever dunked the goal you
know a ball before on a very low but how
did it make you feel yeah good right
makes you feel like good and powerful
you know so i would dunk it and start my
day start my day off with power and we
got really good so i can't do that no
more but that would be my my win i
always have some type of win whether
it's right in the journal and then the
fourth thing is activity which is me
working out me training so before 12 p.m
for me
is
me being
selfish in self-care like my family
knows everybody knows before 12 p.m
don't hit up trent unless you really
need to
dude starting with power that's really
rad
talk to me about why that one i think
it's so cool that you can you know
yourself well enough to know that
lowering the hoop to seven foot and
dunking the out of it is like gonna
actually make you feel some kind of way
because dude i'm the same way like
whether it's putting on music or you
know doing something like that where
it's like yeah i still feel rad like
even though objectively like kobe be
laughing at that exactly like it's still
there's something to it um
what what's the usefulness of that well
i just believe in the
in in these words how you start your day
will influence your day
so if you roll over and you know of
course grab your phone like most people
do i do sometimes and i feel the effects
of that because now i'm living a
responsive life
now i'm not controlling life right now
life is taking me where life wants to
take me and some times that place isn't
beautiful
i've learned by being around incredible
people
they're very intentional
with their day and how they start their
day they lead life they tell life where
life is going to go so if life gives you
stress and you're responsive you're
probably gonna have a stressful day but
if your intentional life gives you
stress you kind of have a armor already
in place to like ah okay
i'm bulletproof to that right now i'm
gonna keep on pushing and keep on
pressing so how you start your day will
influence your day those are words that
i wake up to every single day in my head
it's like start your day off with power
so you can operate throughout this day
with power
and it usually works out in my favor
i love that yeah i think it will work
out for anyone who tries it yeah
the greatest you yeah tell people where
they can find it yeah the greatest you
um you can go to thegreatestyoubook.com
of course my website
trentshelton.com and all my social media
at trent shelton so any and anywhere
that sells books has it yeah the book is
fire appreciated socials are insanity
and the book i think is just another way
to consolidate all that and give it to
people yeah so people like your socials
they're gonna love the book thank you
really did a great job with that
all right what's the impact that you
want to have on the world
i want to
make sure everybody knows
that they're enough
no matter what they go through what
they've been through that they are
enough the number one cause for anything
is people not knowing that they're
enough they feel like they're not enough
so when they run into me anything that i
do stage book video
i want them to leave there knowing that
despite life sucking right now despite
this chapter
i am enough and so
when i leave this earth people say trent
really cared and he let people know that
you know they can really make people
confident their self-worth
and who they are as a person
then i think that would be a great
legacy for me to leave you know one of
the things that i tell people is that
you know just because you have some bad
chapters doesn't mean your story can't
end well
and every story has bad chapters it's
about you finding strength to turn the
page even with my faith i believe this
that god would like to go through a
place you don't understand
just to bring it to the place where he
needs you to be
and so hold on to that in your struggle
and your journey and your pain and then
turn your pain from your worst enemy to
your best friend
do that use pain only to use you
how do you use pain
well
my life is a perfect example
i flipped it and now i help people get
through that because i've been through
it you know if i handed you a map and i
never hiked the trail and i said hey tom
go hike this trail i never been i mean i
don't hand you a map i say tom go hike
this trail but i've never been on it you
look at me like i ain't hiking that
trail but if i say hey i hiked this
trail this is how you do it here's a map
you would take it you would go through
that with confidence and so when you go
through things when you go through the
experience
you become an expert at it
right and you help others get through it
so you go through it to help others get
through it so there's a purpose greater
than your pain i promise you that
everybody the map maker tren shelton
thank you brother i appreciate so much
for being here thank you incredible
thank you bro
guys i'm telling you this guy is every
bit of accolade he's ever received he's
earned every shred every follower every
like every share it's astonishing dive
in it will change you if you let it he's
extraordinary all right if you haven't
already be sure to subscribe and until
next time my friends be legendary take
care
brother holy appreciate it that was
amazing bro you're amazing man if you
want something if you have a passion in
your heart fire in your belly it's gonna
be you
it's gonna be you getting up early it's
gonna be you staying up late it's gonna
be you running the miles and and going
to the gym and eating the kale and doing
all the crap that you don't it's only
gonna be you
you