Kind: captions
Language: en
you will only ever get in your life what
you absolutely must have your absolute
obsession
never do anything that diminishes you
never do anything that moves you away
from your goal whatever it is until you
need that like you need oxygen you won't
get it
you've got to find a way to find energy
in that you can change so whatever
position you're in right now you can
change no matter what it is no matter
how horrific no matter what you've been
through no matter what you've done like
there is a way out from under it no gray
nothing in between that's it it's all
your fault
i want people to know it really does not
matter where you start the whole
question that life is going to ask you
is where do you want to go and what's
the price you're willing to pay to get
there
you don't get skills because it looks
good on the resume you get skills
because it lets you do the thing you
want to do
you don't learn to build a house to
impress your parents you learn to build
a house so people can live in the house
you build it is something so much more
than going to architecture school which
maybe you went to because your parents
wanted that and they they were
architects and so you do that thing for
that and you forget the whole reason you
became an architect was to build houses
nature only gave you two things to
motivate you pleasure and pain why would
you eliminate half of them fulfillment
is all that matters
don't chase money don't chase fame don't
chase success the only thing that
matters to actually enjoying your life
is to feel good about yourself when
you're by yourself that's it
if you
are in a dark place
and you hear
change is real change is possible
doesn't that lift your mood don't you
want that to be true and once you allow
it because you have to allow it once you
allow that to lift your mood you're like
i feel better just by thinking i can
change that was huge for me that was
like moment one was when i realized i
actually can change so this thing that
feels like a death threat this like
smothering cloud of just like despair it
can clear away and it immediately and
it's not like oh it went from gray skies
to blue skies it wasn't that immediate
but it was it literally immediately a
lighter load just because i realized i
can change so i was like whoa i can
change
none of this is a death sentence that's
so like just amazing that was enough to
get me going and people are always
looking for how do i have that energy
i'm depressed i'm down on myself how do
i get the energy to push through
man you've got to find a way to find
energy in that you can change so
whatever position you're in right now
you can change no matter what it is no
matter how horrific no matter what
you've been through no matter what
you've done like there is a way out from
under it but part of it is allowing that
sense of lightness to be there so i
allowed it and so it began to lift off
my shoulders which then encouraged me to
take more action to read more to get
better i started my obsession with
gaining skills that reading isn't about
checking a box it's about actually
getting better at something that lets
you do something and i need a better way
to explain this this is one of those
things like if people really understood
what i'm talking about right now this
one fact would change their life forever
you don't get skills because it looks
good on the resume
you get skills because it lets you do
the thing you want to do what do you
think
all success starts with
well the fast answer is mindset
going back to the only belief that
matters you said it it's your the way
you act is ultimately all that matters
and the way you act follows what you
allow yourself to believe or maybe a
better way to say it is what you choose
to believe
so if you choose to believe that your
energy and efforts will result in more
skill set then you will actually put
energy and effort into getting that
which means you actually will get the
skill set but if you think
well my talent and intelligence are
fixed so no matter how much i work i'm
never going to get better right if you
don't think that putting time and energy
into it will yield anything then you
won't put time and energy into it and
you thusly won't get the skills so and
if you don't have the skills then you
can't do the things other people can do
and so people just get stuck because
they don't have the only belief that
matters so they don't put the time and
energy and so
that's like
where everything starts is are you
putting the time and energy into getting
better yes or no i think that everything
in life comes down to what your own
value system is so what's your identity
what are your beliefs what are your
values what are your habits what are
your routines
when you figured those out that like if
you just gave me a sheet that told me
what those were about somebody i would
tell you what the outcome of their life
is going to be and
for me
implementation being willing to face the
fears the anxieties the unknown
the need to stare at my inadequacies so
i can figure out what skills i actually
need in order to go and do something
because implementation is really a
question of skill set so it that's why
motivation ultimately is gonna let you
down it's like you may be motivated to
go do something but let me walk you
through exactly what will happen you're
motivated to try this thing which you
don't know how to do and you suck at it
and so you go do that thing you suck it
hurts your ego because your ego is tied
up in being right being good being
talented worthy all those like permanent
um
set states that people don't realize are
malleable and so they get stuck in that
it damages their self-esteem so they
want to run in the opposite direction
psychological immune system kicks in
reminds them that that was stupid anyway
why were they worried about even trying
that and so they back off and any one
time doing that's not a big deal it's
just that people do that over and over
and over and over and over and my thing
is that's such a predictable pattern in
humanity it's like what do you have to
do to counteract that and the thing you
have to do is emotionally reward
yourself for being willing to take the
steps so okay i know i'm gonna do this
i'm gonna suck at it it's gonna hurt
it's gonna hurt my self-esteem and so
what do i need to do to make sure that i
don't trip up over that in a way that
makes me turn and run in the opposite
direction
number one stop valuing myself for being
good at something and start valuing
myself for being willing to learn so
that's just a core part of my value
system is i'm a learner that's my
identity being willing to put in the
energy to learn and get better is a part
of my
not only my belief system that people
can do it but part of my values that
that is important to do as a human you
should do that so when i see something
that i want to accomplish
then i know that i'm going to have the
fortitude and the stamina to see that
through because it taps into my identity
of the learner and my value system of
this is important and should be done so
then i just keep going down so i hit the
the
wall of my inadequacy and i don't meet
that with stopping i meet that with cool
now i know what i have to get better at
i'm now aware of what the skill set is
and so now that i know what skill set i
need to develop and i believe that it
can be developed then i just put the
work into developing the skill now the
one thing that i think it's lost in all
of that is people lose desire and they
think that that means that oh it wasn't
as important as i thought it was or i
didn't want it as much as i thought i
did the reality is that even desire is
something that you have to learn to
cultivate to turn into
um a raging inferno like your wants have
to become needs and i think there's some
weird pushback people think that like if
it's real if it's love
then there's no energy that's put into
building that up and i think that's bs
so you think that
that desire is a teachable
concept desire is definitely a teachable
concept the real question is
building that desire will that actually
work and so i think people have
something in their mind of something
they were forced to do that they didn't
enjoy and there was no natural
inclination towards that and i'll say
yeah you're probably never going to be
able to build something there so that's
like trying to start a fire with wet
moss it
probably is not going to happen but if
you have something where it really is a
spark of real interest it's not a love
it's not a passion but it's a spark of
real interest now that's something that
you can work with and really turn into
something by building it because there
is a process that goes along with
building that desire there is a process
that takes something from interest to
full-blown passion and if people are
willing to go along that process then
you really can evolve that initial just
sort of oh it's a spark of interest to
the very thing that i'm willing to give
my life over to completely i realize
that those people are as extraordinary
as anybody barack obama um
oprah winfrey
tony robbins like they
all those same raw materials exist in
people in the inner cities that nobody
believes and nobody think will ever go
anywhere and they won't because they
don't believe in themselves and so we
were talking at our most honest like
what what are we really driven by and
i'm driven by that moment of awakening
which i had in my own life where i
finally realized wait i can learn new
things so just because i'm not good
today doesn't mean i can't be good
tomorrow and and that filled me with so
much excitement i want to see that in
other people and i want to see what the
world looks like when other people
realize wait a second that steve jobs
quote that the world is made by people
no smarter than you is actually true and
so if you're believing that these people
are smarter than you because you did bad
on your sats i'm just going to tell you
right now stop
so you can develop yourself so my
obsession became that humans are the
ultimate adaptation machine we are
literally wired from the ground up
in order to grow and improve under
stress and pressure so it's like what's
the phrase uh pressure can burst pipes
but it also creates diamonds so it's
like you need the pressure and yes it
can hurt but it can also make something
amazing if you're willing to put
yourself in that situation so it's a
weird twist of fate that humans um in
order to build the muscle you first have
to tear it right yeah so
but once you accept that that's how it
works you can do extraordinary things
most great ceos are people that were
taught to be an operator many of them
are considered co-founders but would
have not been successful without the
energy of the human that was there to
eat the pressure and actually lead the
company that's how i see it tom this is
one that i i have lived the exact
opposite so i started out my parents
taught me to be a good employee to keep
my head down do as little work as
possible and avoid punishment at all
costs yes i had a newspaper route i was
too afraid to go knock on the doors to
collect the money so for like two years
i delivered the paper for half the money
i could have gotten i never stole
somebody's flowers out of the yard and
sold them back like
none of that yes so but then to get what
i wanted which was to make films on my
terms i had to generate the capital to
generate lambos to do that why do i need
lambos well you said this earlier you
were like you were into some of the
flashy stuff yeah i get why other people
chase you no i was chasing i wanted
money to build a studio got it so
i
knew that i had to learn a certain set
of skills now my whole thing comes down
to humans are the ultimate adaptation
machine literally what we do is adapt
that is our design so you can take there
was a woman who swam the bearing
straight and she turned literally over a
year of cold exposure turned white
adipose tissue which is the fat into
what's called brown adipose tissue which
generates more heat now people will
believe it at the body right nobody's
here telling me that i'm crazy for that
so easy to show people that you can
change your body but for some reason
people don't think that you can change
the mind so let me ask you a weird
question first of all i completely only
believe you can change the mind which is
now getting into an interesting semantic
so keep going yeah yeah so every no no
no i'm sorry i'm gonna go keep going but
you're gonna you're gonna wait no but
you're gonna appreciate you're gonna
answer for sure does that mean
everybody's born a natural-born
entrepreneur that means everybody is it
means everybody that meets minimum
requirements and we will have to talk
about that okay so that gets
that's fine that gets into a different
place yeah so if you meet minimum
requirements and some people do not but
what if you're a kim elijah one yeah
what if you tom are actually a chemo
elijah one okay so akeem elijah one is
born in africa
doesn't realize he's a natural great
basketball player but he's not exposed
to it yep but actually was born a
natural like what if you actually were
just cause the environment you were in
so you're saying i was a national born
entrepreneur just in a weird environment
because that's where i'm going with this
which is you were an environment where
your parents created the environment to
eliminate the entrepreneurial right
spirit but that it was down deep in
there and more importantly just because
ripping flowers back to first of all you
had
a paper route yeah let's break that down
for a minute okay maybe you were scared
of asking for money just like the last
kid but let's really really talk about
it yep what the [ __ ] were you doing with
a paper route am i in my family you had
to have a job cool my parents made me
get a paper route did they make you get
a paper out or did you have more than
one choice tom now this is very
important i don't remember fair enough i
don't
to me well here let's answer that
question so let's assume for a second
that i'm secretly a born entrepreneur in
a bad environment which i'm very okay
it's not a bad environment it's bad for
entrepreneurship it's a great
environment that i have no beef with
that so my thing is knowing that people
can either good environment be trained
and bring out those natural inclinations
or not my thing is figure out what you
want to do and then go down the path of
gaining mastery in that the only thing
that matters are results and if you
aren't getting the result that you want
then you're not making the right
decision
surrounding yourself with people who act
in a way that's going to lead you to the
goals that you want to get to is that's
like that's it like if like i so believe
that you're the average of the five
people you spend the most time with how
could you not be it's like you're going
to be surrounded by those ideas you're
going to feel good about yourself
because they're going to praise you for
things and if they're praising you for
working your ass off for admitting a
mistake
that turns you into one kind of person
if they're praising you for smoking a j
or for playing an extra hour of video
games or for you know hammering that
mountain dew or jumping in on some cake
with them it's like well then you're
going to go down that path because it's
rad and and we are we are social
creatures man and you want to please and
inspire um the people that you're around
and so
um
change your circle it will change
everything about your life
[Music]
there are some people who think that
their talent and intelligence are fixed
traits that's a fixed mindset then there
are other people who believe that their
talent and intelligence are malleable
traits that can be developed and they
are developed through challenge and
those are people the growth mindset so
people that believe they can grow into
basically whatever they want to become
do humans have limits yeah almost
certainly but there is such a gap
between where you are and the upper
bounds of human limitation that to even
worry about limitation just doesn't make
sense we put people on the moon so like
once you accept that we could figure
that out it's like
you're not aiming at anything crazier
than that so it's going to fall within
the limits of what humans can do so
going after that and developing that
mindset and being aware of what carol
dweck calls the false growth mindset
which you alluded to earlier where
people think they're thinking in the
right way they think they're
implementing something but they're
really not what matters is at some point
you have to identify what you want to do
and you've got to become the best in the
world at that period not really good
you've got to be the best in the world
so
your
thing in life at something whether you
get good grades or not you've got to
become the best in the world at it and
if you're not prepared to go in with
that mentality you're never going to get
anywhere not anywhere grand and not
everybody wants to be i'm speak i'm
speaking to all of you out there that
want to do something unbelievable people
don't remember that skills have utility
they let you do something
you don't learn to build a house to
impress your parents you learn to build
a house so people can live in the house
you build and once people understand
that like holy [ __ ] you're building this
house so somebody can live in it build a
home in it have a family be sheltered
from storms like [ __ ] it's a real thing
man and so all of that effort and energy
went into i have the chills right now is
so you can create that moment for
yourself for other people it is it is
something so much more than going to
architecture school which maybe you went
to because your parents wanted that and
they they were architects and so you do
that thing for that and you forget the
whole reason you became an architect was
to build houses
and so once people realize oh
i'm putting all of this time and energy
to build these things because they let
me do something what do i want to do
what do i want to give what do i want to
create when you look at skills from that
perspective it is like
it is being a superhero it is being a
superhero you're going to collect these
abilities these abilities actually let
you do something the fact that superman
can fly allows him to save people allows
him to do things other people can't do
we all have this opportunity to become
capable of the extraordinary to be able
to do things other people can't do and
that feels so good thinking of myself as
the person who's just good enough to
recognize that other people are better
stop doing that and now start thinking
relentlessly about acquiring new skills
that's it like whatever be inspired by
people that are better than you great
that's amazing but don't sit there and
lament which is what i used to do that
you're not as good as them find out how
close can you get having a growth
mindset so that you you want to see how
you're wrong that you can have these
really ferocious ideas but hold them
loosely because the moment that your
identity is wrapped up in your ideas you
are in real trouble man your identity
should be wrapped up in your outcome
what outcome do you want and are you
actually getting that outcome and then
as long as you're not a sociopath with
an ugly outcome like people that get
into identity politics and things like
that
i'm going to give them the benefit of
the doubt and say no for real the the
world they imagine is a beautiful world
for the people that they love and care
about okay fair enough so i'll just give
them that they're trying to do something
positive but when you look at the
outcome in terms of how it affects
everyone it starts to break down pretty
fast like
that's where it really starts to worry
me so that to me says that your identity
is based on something that isn't
necessarily
anti-fragile it's probably based on
something pretty fragile so to use
naseem teleb's term something that is
fragile that's easy to understand
something that is anti-fragile isn't
something that's strong or resilient
those are still defined by the breaking
point it's just that the breaking point
is far away but ultimately even
something that's strong it's strong
because you think wow it can take a lot
before it breaks something that's
anti-fragile on the other hand actually
grows stronger the more that it's
attacked so and that doesn't mean you
entrench in a position that clearly
everybody's saying like this is crazy
the only anti-fragile position that i
can think of is to be that of the
learner
that is truly anti-fragile so for
instance if you come at me and say that
i'm stupid be like amazing in what way
and the reason that i say amazing is
because i i know that skills make me
more powerful so you've just said that i
have a blind spot which means that i'm
less powerful than i could be and i'll
define power because i think it weird
some people out to me powerful just
means you can close your eyes imagine a
world a better world than the one that
we have today you can then open your
eyes and actually create that world so
that's the kind of power that i'm trying
to amass in my life the ability to
impact people at scale in a positive way
so
if you're telling me that i'm less
powerful than i could be amazing i want
to know in what way because once i'm
aware of it then i can address it
because i know about myself that i'm
willing to accept that i'm inadequate
because i know that it's a temporary
state i'm not good at it yet if i decide
that it really does match with my goals
and what i want to do i can get good at
it so it's not ego damaging for you to
tell me that i've you know i'm not doing
something in a way that i could be could
be better cool tell me how when people
don't want to hear that it's like oh
it's they're in a very brittle place
they're being backed into a corner and
people lash out and they're backed into
a corner so at an individual level i
would say to everybody
if you feel that your blood boiling when
somebody challenges you if you feel like
a caged animal or like you're being
backed into a corner i promise you 100
it is not the truth of the world it is
that you have a fragile something a
fragile ego a fragile belief system
something in there can break and because
it can break you're trying to protect it
and the more you try to protect it the
more hardened and
potentially
violent vicious cruel whatever that you
may become so when it isn't
that and you're not afraid of that thing
breaking because you want to take
information in you want to assess it
doesn't mean you're going to agree you
may take that criticism and go i
actually don't think that's accurate but
i'm really grateful that you
gave me that piece of information and
look intention matters you can tell when
someone's just trying to be a dick so
it's like you've got to be
cognizant enough of that but when you
get to that point where you're you're
leading with
everything is my fault including the way
this person's coming at me i've done
something to make them want to come at
me too hard or whatever so
at the individual level i think that
that ant the
fragility versus anti-fragility is is
where everyone should start
i love inspiration and motivation but it
is the neurological equivalent of candy
it's rad it has its place but
everyone because those just happen to be
fleeting neurological states yeah you
just have to find something that's way
more grounded you need a mission you
need a grand why you need to know what
it is and and this is not a discovery
it's a thing you decide i decided now
because i tell it as a story people
think oh it was unavoidable he meets
this kid rashaan and that coupled with
all the people that he worked with the
quest it's sort of inevitable that he
decides that he's going to
um build impact theory and try to change
culture to give everyone an empowering
mindset yeah well literally a year
before i decided to found impact theory
my mission in life was to have metabolic
disease so it's like you decide and then
you point yourself at something nothing
is ever going to feel right like this is
what i was put on earth to do it won't
feel that way until about a year or two
years after you've been saying that's
what you're going to do that that's what
you're committed to and actually acting
in accordance with it and then you'll be
like yeah this actually is my mission we
all get to decide what our values are
what our belief system is what our rules
in life are the code of ethics that we
live by those are all decisions that
people mistake for empirical truth but
if you want to know how just
unempirically true it is look across all
societies they don't share it so
we just
decide that stuff it's usually handed to
us by our parents which is what makes us
confuse it with just being true but the
reality is that we're all constructing
this belief system value system honor
code all of it and it's going to
determine what we do and how we do it
now if you choose to breathe life into
from a value and belief standpoint
putting in that work to get those skills
then suddenly that energy of like whoa
this is going to let me do something
that lets me serve all of a sudden like
wow that's
uplifting in and of itself so you feel
good as you're doing it now as you're
feeling better about it you're going to
want to do it more and so that became
that self-reinforcing loop of i want to
do this more but to do it more i have to
become aware of my blind spots and
that's where self-awareness comes in but
just like any other skill like you have
to cultivate you have to get better at
it you have to see disconfirming
evidence you have to come to realize
where you have been blind now often
those moments where we realize that
we've been blind they're emotionally
devastating you can use your positivity
super powerfully no question you need to
you need to be able to you know really
work that up inside yourself but you can
use disappointment failure anger like
those things are also powerful and
there's obviously
um you know the star wars talks about
the dark side and how enticing it is and
um it's when people can balance and use
both and tim grover who was michael
jordan's trainer says the greatest
athletes in the world the greats the
icons of the sport all of them are
driven by a darkness like there is a
chip on their shoulder there is an axe
to grind there's something they're
trying to prove and it's like
you have to otherwise you're gonna
you're gonna hit a plateau and stop
[Music]
the nature of being a human is the brain
developed a mechanism over millions of
years of evolution to pitch up this
negative stuff and you don't have to
believe it it is merely meant to keep
you safe so you may hear it as one of
the voices but when it's the only voice
you're inherently in trouble and so
people think they've done something
wrong that they are a bad person because
they have this negative voices beating
the [ __ ] out of them but the reality is
that voice is is a mechanism it's like
being mad that you have a second arm
it's like learn how to use it i always
ask myself one question
so i have a goal i know what my goal is
that's very very important in my entire
rubric everything that i say assumes
that the person knows what their goal is
big goal or the goal just in that moment
so let's say your goal is i want to feel
good about myself so getting back to
center
okay i want to feel good about myself
but i just did something to embarrass
myself and it has real world
consequences right it really was
embarrassing and it really will stick
with me maybe if for a year maybe 10
years maybe this is a thing that now is
associated with me forever right it's
out in the internet whatever
um so how am i gonna recenter
i use one question will it serve me to
feel badly about myself because of this
and if it does serve me and by the way
sometimes it does like you need that
sting of like oh i messed that thing up
i don't want to mess up like that again
and
being upset by it never more than 20
percent of your time but in that 20
leaning on what i call the dark side to
be like angry about it be upset hold
yourself accountable and not just let
yourself off the hook and be like yeah
you screwed that up you weren't paying
enough attention your skill set wasn't
ready whatever
but
nine or eight times out of ten i guess
um the right answer is no it's not gonna
serve me and even if kicking my own ass
served me for a little bit it's not
gonna serve me for long so i need to
very rapidly transition into forgiveness
into
just not focusing on it letting it go
and knowing that
so i have a belief that i've consciously
instilled in my life
that i only do and believe that which
moves me towards my goal
so if even if it's true that i'm a [ __ ]
believing that isn't going to serve me
so
i just
go okay well that's not going to serve
me so i need to at least believe i can
get better okay i can get better cool
then i'm just going to focus on that
yeah and that simple reframe
pulls me out of that and i just it's a
pattern interrupt right using cognitive
behavioral therapy language i don't
allow myself to death spiral about what
a [ __ ] i am there really are only two
macro level motivators that we have in
life and that's pleasure and pain
and so what i want people to understand
is okay so if nature only gave you two
things to motivate you pleasure and pain
why would you eliminate half of them and
so most people think that life is about
avoiding the pain i'm here to tell you
right now in a very controlled fashion
it is about really experiencing the pain
learning from it so ray dalio the most
successful hedge fund manager of all
time has a perfect math equation pain
plus reflection equals progress
if you don't feel the pain you never
reflect on it so my thing is i spend 80
percent of my time focused on the
beautiful things in my life the things
i'm grateful for the beautiful things
that i want to bring into existence all
of it
20 of the time though i'm in the
darkness man i'm in that tim grover
relentless i'm going to make this happen
if i have to break myself and i'm not
afraid to lean into that because i know
how powerful it is so i'm always looking
for ways in which i'm wrong because i
don't value myself for being right and
once people understand that that for me
it wasn't in the beginning i was just
telling myself to do that it wasn't at a
limbic level now i've been telling
myself to value myself only for my
willingness to admit when i'm wrong and
to learn that at a limbic level it's
true so when somebody tells me i'm wrong
i have this rush of like oh my god this
is amazing because if they're right and
i really am wrong and they're making me
aware of this i'm going to get more
powerful so and that goes back to my
real belief and skills having utility so
it's like the
ego doesn't have utility yeah maybe some
but it's not when misplaced and built
around the wrong things can be super
dangerous but because my ego is actually
built around my willingness to stare at
my inadequacies when somebody tells me
that oh you're doing this bad wrong or
whatever i don't spend time it does
still sting i think that's just natural
so it'll be like oh that sucks but oh a
reminder that this is going to give me
something powerful and so i use it sort
of as mental jujitsu and then i open
myself up and i learn like i don't think
people should try to silence the
negative voice in their head but i also
don't think they should succumb to it i
think you should listen to the
negativity because it will call out [ __ ]
that's real right you're not working
hard enough you're not good at this yeah
you're absolutely right but if i let
that affect how i feel about myself now
become self-destructive so that voice
has got to be like that voice of clarity
it's got to be the oh [ __ ] okay that's
the thing i need to work on got it it's
got to be a counselor not a jailer
[Music]
the baseline thing people have to have
is
emotional resilience so you have to and
this to me is a skill you have to learn
how to emotionally recalibrate so when i
was the kid in the server room and there
was a whole bunch of people farther
ahead in their entrepreneurial journey
than i and they all heard the same
message about you can be a partner and
none of them did anything with it i
started asking why aren't they doing
anything with it
and i realized the answer was i could
self-soothe faster than they could and
so yeah it hurt when i was told i was an
idiot that really sucked
especially hearing it from someone you
really respect
but
i decided to not spin out of control not
waste three days being hurt by it but
instead to re-center and just ask are
they right because if they're right
there's something to learn here and if
they're not right just move on and if
they are right learn the lesson and so i
just slowly started collecting it and
the lessons and the image i started
thinking was whenever somebody throws an
insult at you you have two options you
can let it hit you in the head
or you can raise your defenses and
defect it and your defenses are the
psychological immune system they're real
i'm not making that up so
all of us have this thing that comes to
our aid when somebody says something
that hurts you then you're like oh well
they're mean anyway they're a jerk
they're a bully whatever i don't have to
take them seriously and so that makes
you feel better and you believe maybe
that they're being cosmically punished
in some way being a bully is its own
punishment and all that so and ah like
that allows you to relax and they've
done studies that show people with the
highest level of self-delusion are the
happiest so there really is something to
it but the people at the highest level
self-delusion are usually not the ones
that go the farthest because they
don't stop to recognize where they
really are to own the pain of that so i
thought okay instead of raising my
defenses i'm going to lower my defenses
i'm going to let that rock hit me in the
head because at my feet now is actually
a nugget of gold and i'm going to pick
up that nugget of gold in form of the
lesson that the person is throwing at me
and here's the thing to realize when
people really come at you they're really
trying to hurt you they have sinister
intent they're going to come at you with
something that's true
nobody comes at you with the stuff
that's not real they're going to hit you
with like the thing that you're the most
secure about in the world
so even the people with the the gravest
of intent are the ones that are giving
you the most powerful gift because you
may be blind to it or maybe you didn't
want to acknowledge it but if you can
let it hit you as much as it hurts then
bend down pick it up and learn from it
now you can do something hey everybody
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