Kind: captions
Language: en
[Music]
hey everybody welcome to another episode
of impact theory today we are going to
be talking in great granular detail
about
fulfillment this is something that i
think a lot of people misunderstand by
failing to have it in your life you are
definitely going to suffer and if you're
going through something brutally
difficult right now i can promise you
that fulfillment is your way out so
without further ado let's dive into one
of the most important topics we're ever
going to talk about all right first
question what are some habits that i can
easily incorporate into my daily life to
accomplish fulfillment
all right here's the important thing to
understand about fulfillment is that it
is a process and there is a formula what
i call the fulfillment formula the aptly
named and the way that it works is this
first i want you to understand that
there are these imperatives in your
brain given to you by evolution and you
are going to be emotionally rewarded for
doing certain things and emotionally
punished for not doing other things and
that's where fulfillment comes in
when you put yourself in an evolutionary
context you're going to understand why
the formula is what the formula is so
i'll quickly give you the formula and
then explain it in context so the
formula goes like this you're going to
work really hard to gain a set of skills
that
allow you to serve not only yourself but
other people okay now why is that the
formula so first of all it's very
important to understand that growing up
on the plains of the savannah you would
have had to work really hard to stay
alive to feed your family so you had to
face tremendous danger massive obstacles
and so nature only has two ways to get
you moving and that is pleasure and pain
punishment reward so when it wants
behavior it's going to reward that by
making it uh feel amazing and if it
doesn't want behavior then it's going to
make sure that if you're engaging in it
it sucks and if it wants you to do
something and you don't do it that will
also suck so this is where
pleasure and pain come in and where you
have to really understand
why
this cycle is so deeply embedded in your
brain
so
because from an evolutionary standpoint
working hard was necessary for survival
then working hard working hard has to
feel good and conversely if you're not
working hard then you're going to feel a
deep sense of unease so that's why i say
that the first step in the fulfillment
formula is that you're going to have to
work really hard to gain a set of skills
now the reason that you're working hard
is because if you don't work hard even
now in a modern context where you can
probably get away without putting that
much time and effort into something the
reason that fulfillment is going to
demand it is because from an
evolutionary standpoint you needed to
have that embedded in your brain the
directive to work hard to accomplish
these things so working hard really is
its own reward
dad something that he used to tell me
all the time when i was a kid and he's
absolutely right it is truly ingrained
in us even though we sometimes fight and
don't want to do it and we also have the
impulse to chill and lay on the couch
but if you're not working hard you will
feel a deep sense of unease all right so
we're going to work hard to gain a set
of skills now
the set of skills is really about
serving the group
so
we know that humans are a creature that
leverages culture so so many other
animals are
hardwired and so a horse when it's born
20 minutes later it's doing all the
things that a horse can do but humans
are different than that so we take this
long period of gestation followed by
this long infancy
and in all of that we are going through
these different phases of development
and around the ages of 11 to 15 you go
into this drinking deeply from the
culture moment where it's not just about
your environment anymore it's about the
actual culture and taking in that
information so you're going to gain a
set of skills that matter to you
and matter to the group okay and that's
the part of culture so you're working
really hard to gain the set of skills
that matter to you and the group
something that's exciting to you you
just enjoy doing it that's very
important for fulfillment
and then it allows you to serve not only
yourself but the group because we're a
social creature we of course need to be
rewarded for doing things for the group
and we're going to be punished for not
doing things to the group in our own
minds okay that's very important if
you're not contributing to the group you
will have this sense of meaninglessness
and this is where meaning and purpose
come in i'm doing something not just for
myself but for other people it is
ingrained in your mind to do that okay
so you get this set of skills now this
is where passion comes in
you want to be developing a set of
skills that you're deeply passionate
about but understand passion also is a
process so you start with something you
find interesting you engage with it if
the more you engage with it the more
fascinating it becomes then we're going
to go down the process of gaining actual
mastery doing the boring difficult
repetitive tasks required to truly
master that thing in a way that the
group values now when you do that you
get into a passion feedback loop even
though it is boring and difficult at
times as you get better at this thing
that matters to the group the group
gives you feedback and that feedback
when it's positive feels wonderful thank
you for whatever your contribution is oh
my gosh it really matters it's amazing
thank you so much which makes you want
to do more which you know to get that
feedback more you're going to need to go
get better at that thing and that's how
you get people in these virtuous cycles
you're working really hard to gain a set
of skills that gets the group excited
about your contributions which make you
feel good about yourself which make you
want to get even better at that thing so
that you can contribute even more to the
group and that
is fulfillment there's all this meaning
and purpose behind it you're doing it to
serve other people it's bigger than
yourself and now you get the
neurochemical cocktail that you've been
looking for
by
doing that formula that's fulfillment
fail to optimize for fulfillment at your
own peril
all right next question can you shed
some light on how to be still in times
of chaos and focus on working towards
fulfillment
first of all i want to acknowledge that
chaos can be very difficult to deal with
and it requires a lot of emotional
management and you've got to be able to
do many things quite frankly it's going
to be a whole grab bag of tricks my
friends for you to get through and get
on the other side of that chaos all
right first things first meditation is
going to be huge okay just at a
physiological level you've got to get
that background radiation down to zero
now this can be very difficult when
you're in the middle of something and
you really feel like you're fighting for
your life but you need to make time for
that this is a physiological process by
getting into that calm and creative
state you're going to find answers that
you otherwise wouldn't see so we need to
get out of that panic mode and into calm
creative problem solving now remember
action cures all so we've got this
fulfillment thing that we're chasing
we've got the fulfillment formula we
know exactly what we need to do we're in
the middle of the chaos
and the thing that's going to solve for
that meditation so we're thinking calmly
and clearly
but also
having a plan of attack and then going
after it so there's been really cool
studies done by andrew huberman and
other people about how lateral eye
movement can actually pull you out of
that
stressed and anxious state because what
it's doing is it's mimicking you moving
forward and moving forward on this
evolutionary time frames
we've been rewarded for that because it
means that you're confronting your
problem you're working hard you're
dealing with the saber-tooth tiger the
warring tribe that just need to go out
and hunt whatever you're dealing with it
and since nature only has pleasure and
pain if you're dealing with it nature's
going to make sure to give you some
pleasure on that and conversely if
you're trying to hide from it that's not
going to feel great and you're going to
really spiral it is crazy to me how
taking action and getting into problem
solving mode immediately shifts me out
of anxiety it is absolutely profound so
that's going to be a big part of this
and when you're doing that
in
the context of the fulfillment formula
now you know that this is going to be
something you're working really hard to
gain that set of skills that serve not
only yourself but other people so you're
thinking about other people you're
thinking about service and that has a
way of really helping you get through
the chaos because it's giving you the
emotional energy to have the stamina to
fight through to get to the other side
and as i think it was churchill that
said if you're going through hell
keep going
but keep going armed with meaning and
purpose around how you're contributing
to the group around getting these skills
around being in problem-solving mode and
around taking action because that is
going to be the thing that cures all and
then don't forget
sleep hygiene very important meditation
important keep your diet right don't
tell yourself a negative story don't
allow yourself to loop and defeat find
people that can elevate you find people
that will
in a very real skills based way
help you see the path forward and help
you hold on to the only belief that
matters that you can figure this out
what are some action steps i can take
right away to train my mind to not go
after easy pleasures and happiness and
instead seek the gratification that
comes from fulfillment all right
the great news is all you have to do is
recognize the truth of the human
condition and the truth of the human
condition is that chasing momentary
happiness
won't fulfill you that's literally what
i wanted to say and
i'm not because we're talking about
fulfillment i won't use a just recursive
loop but that really is true all of that
stuff is so transient what makes
fulfillment interesting is that it is
this far more
stabilizing
neurochemical state so your brain is
constantly checking in with you
making sure on a subconscious level that
you're doing the things that you need to
do to be of service to the group to be
of service to yourself to make sure that
you're taking care of yourself and your
family and your loved ones and your
tribe okay so there's this
subconscious
record keeping going on and that's
exactly what's happening that's why you
sometimes will feel the unease in your
body before consciously you know what's
going on
and you feel it ah there's something off
you need to take the time to identify
what it is to be able to articulate it
in a single nice crispy sentence so you
can figure out exactly what it is that
you need to do to move forward okay now
once you understand that that is just
the nature of the game that going after
these momentary things will be exactly
that
it's going to be momentary it's going to
fade you're going to have a sense of
unease you're not going to be in the
shape that you want emotionally once i
know oh going down that road is not
going to leave me in the emotional state
that i want to be in then it's very easy
to go well this one might be a little
bit more difficult it might take more
sustained effort but it yields these
tremendous results so the example that i
always give is
eating junk food
i love junk food and truly love it by
the way it is it gives me a drug-like
high it is so fun to eat sugary foods
the problem is that especially as i get
older it hurts
literally after the fact my joints will
hurt
i won't sleep as well i wake up the next
day and it's just like i have like a
slight hangover that's literally what it
feels like
and
because i know that that's the outcome
it's like well on the times where i
don't mind and it's like well i'm going
to you know enjoy this drug-like thing
for a minute i'll sort of walk a fine
line have some fun here suffer a little
tomorrow but on balance maybe i come out
a little bit ahead on the happiness but
if i try to do it two days in a row
forget it three days in a row it really
starts to be like a real problem so even
over the holidays now
when i let myself off of you know the
hook with all of my normal disciplines
and all of that
even then now i keep myself in check
just because i don't like the way that
it feels so once you understand oh i can
do this thing over here and feel really
good or i can do this thing over here
it's very momentary it's very transient
it doesn't last i kind of you know i'm
not where i want to be and i begin to
ask myself questions like what am i
doing with my life
so just knowing that to me fulfillment
is
much longer in duration it's much more
resilient i can be fulfilled even when
things are hard even when things aren't
going my way even when it's difficult in
fact the fulfillment i get from
contributing to the group is the very
thing that inoculates me from the hard
times being able to knock me all the way
down because on those moments where
you're just beleaguered
and you're getting it from all sides and
it just seems like everything is
crashing on you at once
in those moments you're going to cling
to what you're doing to help other
people
and nature will ensure that that is
going to make you feel way way better
emotions should never stop you from
achieving your goals so if you feel
stuck overwhelmed low on confidence
you're beating yourself up or you feel
like you're not deserving of the things
you want in life i have something to
tell you emotions are not facts and you
should never let them hold you back and
yet i find that people do this all the
time they mistake that feeling for
objective truth and it sends them this
downward spiral
[Music]
reaching greater levels of success in
life means knowing how to use your brain
and if you're in a rut right now or if
you've been struggling for a while to
achieve your goals then i've pulled a
class from impact theory university to
help you get back on track it's called
six steps to getting unstuck and it's
for anyone who wants to know the exact
steps to achieving big goals when life
puts challenges in your way if you want
to check it out go to
theory dot unstuck.impacttheory.com
to get access it's a free preview all
right guys i'll see you on the inside
now let's get back to today's episode
all right how do you become fulfillment
driven versus achievement driven when
everywhere around you see people and
society running for the latter
okay
one i want to acknowledge the power of
success success is amazing
and winning at the game in a way that's
recognized by your peers is always going
to feel good so
understand that you don't have to be you
know mother teresa in order to
um
be worthwhile and to love yourself
it's okay
to want some success
and honestly if we really look at mother
teresa i'm betting that to her really
mattered to
succeed in a way that was
deeply meaningful and she certainly
seemed to be trying to reach as many
people as humanly possible and so
if we can look at someone like that and
say well that was a worthwhile endeavor
then what we're really saying is as long
as the way in which you're contributing
is meaningful then that's like the
double whammy of you should absolutely
feel good about that so we've got two
things one it's okay to want to be
successful i want to be successful even
more successful than i've been i want to
scale and touch just an untold number of
lives and
i don't feel badly about that i love
that it makes me want to go out and help
more people now i don't think that
everybody should pursue scale in the way
that i pursue scale it certainly has its
own complications but if you know that
about yourself and you want to play on
that level and you're willing to pursue
it knowing you may never get there right
i may never get where i want to go
but i love striving to play at that
scale
so when you are looking at it from that
perspective it's not necessarily a bad
thing it becomes toxic when you're
aiming yourself at something that isn't
helping you or it's only helping you and
it isn't helping other people and that
again just going back to this idea of
you're a social creature with
evolutionary imperatives to help
contribute to the group and when you're
not doing that you will automatically
feel a sense of unease that there's
something missing
so
i say do both
very cool to pursue like the the big
grand rewards whatever it is that you
want but make sure that you're doing
that in the context of something that
serves other people as well if you're
doing that and trying to pursue
fulfillment at the
the grandest level that makes sense for
you and your personality i say go for it
so you don't need to artificially
downplay yourself or try to be small
like go crazy be bombastic be big do
your thing go as hard as you want
just make sure that it's in service of
something that is honorable
that's it
all right
what are ways i can recognize when i am
fulfilled especially when i am still in
the middle of my journey
all right so one this is about taking
time to catalog the things we're
grateful for just really stopping to
either journal or think through
what is it that i'm doing
what's my goal
how am i attempting to contribute to the
group
am i actually contributing to the group
and then
you can use david goggins idea of the
cookie jar where it's like you remember
the times where you meaningfully
impacted somebody you did something you
got amazing feedback it really helped
somebody out it was aligned with you
know what your goal is
then those are the things that you put
into that memory bank and you pull on
those when things are getting hard and
you remember yo i did this thing i can
do more things i can push harder go
farther help more people whatever the
case may be
and so
as you think about that
and you
recognize you're not where you want to
be yet
but you're focusing on the ways in which
you've already contributed that's going
to give you the energy that you need to
keep pushing through and ultimately
you have to be honest with yourself
about whether or not you are fulfilled
at this moment because it isn't
something that you're going to be able
to talk yourself into because maybe
you're not maybe you're not feeling your
contributions maybe you're not doing
things in a way that's joyful i talk
about goals need to be two things
exciting
and honorable okay so if honorable is
that it helps not only yourself but
other people don't forget about the
exciting part you've got to be just
amped up you got to be doing something
that you want to do for instance
is it possible that i can help more
people by doing something other than
building impact theory it's entirely
possible but impact theory is what i
love doing on a daily basis i love doing
content like this i love the people that
i get to meet the people that i get to
interview i love the idea of building
film and tv and nfts like all of that
stuff for me is absolutely thrilling i
love it maybe i shouldn't but i love it
and because it's so exciting for me i
have handcrafted my life to make the
biggest contribution to
the tribe if you will that i can but
doing things that i love and want to be
the best in the world at so if you're
not doing that then all of this might
feel empty or you might be serving the
group in a way that's sort of by rote
instead of and this is a great example
i'm almost certain this was toyota so
toyota was trying to encourage their
employees to do
charity work and they found that people
were going to
soup kitchens and helping feed the
homeless and was nice
but the people at toyota felt like they
weren't really leveraging their unique
skill set and this is why i say
fulfillment is about working really hard
on a set of skills that matter to you
and allow you to serve the group so you
go down this that passion loop of
getting gaining true mastery of
something that gets you positive
feedback so
what toyota's employees ended up doing
was going and making the
soup kitchen more efficient so that they
could feed more hungry people faster and
that made them feel extraordinarily good
so figuring out why it is exactly that
it's coming up for you that you might
not be feeling fulfilled so one you
might not be doing the right things so
making sure that you're following the
fulfillment formula and then two making
sure that you have that meaning and
purpose you know why you're doing what
you're doing you feel connected to the
people that you're serving it's a big
deal at impact theory every team meeting
we go through and read something that
somebody from the community has written
explaining how impact theories touch
their lives it's incredibly important to
us to re-ground ourselves around the
people that we're actually serving so
that can be an important thing to just
take that time
what are you doing that is
helping that's moving the needle
you know circle around it
write it down like really focus on that
thing and internalize it and that should
help
all right everybody
fulfillment is one of the most important
things i'm telling you the punch line of
life the very thing that you were trying
to optimize for is very simply
fulfillment done in a joyful manner
fulfillment and joy fulfillment and joy
that really is the key it isn't the
grand success so there's nothing wrong
with chasing that
it
it isn't accolades it isn't money it
isn't fame it's none of those things it
is truly
working really hard to gain a set of
skills
that that you care about
that allow you to serve not only
yourself but other people towards an end
that excites you
and that's it
all right guys i hope that you put this
stuff to use in your life i hope that
you start living by the fulfillment
formula and i hope that it serves you as
well as it has served me alright guys
speaking of things that will serve you
well if you haven't already be sure to
subscribe and my friends if you don't
have an impact theory founders key
you're going to want to get one go to
founders key dot io to learn more about
nfts and what we're doing in the space
and how you can be a part of it i think
web 3 is going to be life-changing for a
lot of people make sure that you are
learning about it doesn't have to be our
project just make sure you learn about
web3 alright guys until next time my
friends be legendary take care peace