Kind: captions
Language: en
I hear their story of I had this
Epiphany to change the world at 22 I'm
like that wasn't me that I just want to
be rich because I hated being poor
because I've coached many billionaires
over the past 20 years if you look at
the greatest producers on the planet
these people have one thing in common
they are ridiculously curious and no
matter how much money they make and no
matter how much impact they have
they maintain a white belt mentality one
of the keys to Epic performance is a
Relentless commitment to daily growth
they want the data I want the input I
want the information I want the feedback
to get to the next version of me
regardless of how it emotionally makes
me feel I'm like driven by that without
that information why am I living what
you just said is so important and is is
the like driving force of my life
so talk to me about the time that your
dad saw a guy mowing your lawn for you
but that was you heard that that really
showed the dichotomy between the the new
way that you were trying to think and
then the old way that you'd been brought
up to think
um and the different results that each
path yeah really great question so
um I was probably 19 or 20 years old and
by then I had already I was working in a
collision shop I'd buy wrecked cars fix
them and sell them and I had my first
apartment house by then I bought an old
rundown house I got it for no money down
and I built I built nine apartments in
it and I'd build one apartment and I'd
live in it while I remodeled it so I'd
work on cars during the day at night I'd
work on this first apartment I'd get it
done and then soon as it was done and it
looked nice I'd rent it and I'd move
into the crappy one and rebuild it and I
got all nine done and I realized at a
young age that at that time I was
starting my real estate career and by
the time it was all rented it was doing
really well it was Cash flowing really
well my dad always working hard and born
during the Depression was always like
you know don't borrow money if you could
do it yourself don't dare hire anybody
else and I knew it was fundamentally
flawed because it wasn't working for him
so I used to spend all day Saturdays in
this apartment house saying I had a
monster lawn I'd weed whack all day I'd
mow the lawn and one day just hit me I
said
what my dad thinks is wrong like doing
this during this time this seven hours
of mowing I could pay the neighbor 50
bucks to do it and I could go fix one
more car or find another piece of real
estate or flip a car and sell it for a
profit and I could make maybe a couple
Grand today my Roi would be monstrous so
the first time little the first week the
kids mowing my lawn my dad pulls in the
driveway and he sees and he gets out and
he goes you're going to pay someone to
mow your lawn this is you got bigger
than your [ __ ] this is it for you and
I remember just sitting there and I
hated my dad could be confrontational
sometime and he got so mad at me like
furiously man he got in his car and any
it was a gravel driveway hit the gas so
hard it sprayed rocks all over my car
like dented the whole side of my car
ding ding ding ding ding and he left
pissed and I remember just sitting there
it was really a moment in my life and
I'm like
wow his beliefs are so strong and if you
could do it yourself you should do it
that it's compromised him and have the
ability you know to have more freedom
have more joy and I realized at that
moment actually it didn't make me want
to fire the kid that was mowing my lung
and anchored in the fact that wow this
is what I need to do more of and I think
I've been on a journey I still you're
probably the same way I still on a
quarterly basis I still look through
everything I do and it you know it's
like an onion and keep peeling away the
onion of what you shouldn't do and I and
I still look I'm like what can I have an
Roi on what can I make several thousand
dollars an hour whatever the number is
and pay someone to do it so that was a
big Tipping Point in my life because I
started realizing that
I didn't have to get I didn't have to do
things that I could get a better Roi on
and then it it evolved even more so into
stop doing things I sucked at because
the world and even School teaches you
teaches us in so many ways to to to you
know work on our weaknesses to get
stronger and I think that's a huge flaw
I think we just get great at what we're
good at we only need to be good at one
of two things and we can make an impact
on the world how do people find those
things
well you know I I've been doing it for
so long time that I think the best ways
as as archaic as this might sound is
I literally will jot down now and I'll
tell people whether I'm in a high-end
Mastermind where people paid 100 Grand
to be in the room or they pay 90 bucks
and people tell the same people is take
a journal do it in your phone and in the
notes or do it on a in your journal or
on a pad and write down the stuff you do
on a daily basis hour by hour and then
go through it and literally look at the
stuff as as simple as it sounds look at
the stuff and say is everything on list
list drive me towards being a better
version of myself or more wealth if
that's what you want or being a better
dad is what I obsess on or being a
better family man or being more
conscious being more spiritual like does
it help God the universe or a bigger
version of me and if it doesn't should
it really be something that's on my list
and if it has to be done can someone
else do it can I delegate it can I
automate it or can I just eliminate it
and and I literally do that practice at
least once a quarter for the last 10
years because we must because sometimes
we've we evolve we change and things
that used to light us up or used to be
important aren't anymore
um and then the other thing too is
there's a there's a balance between you
know just making money or furthering
your business and also knowing
internally what your definition of
success is
um you know it there might be something
that makes you a lot of money but it
robs your soul so there's that balance
and I think that doesn't happen oh that
doesn't happen in your 20s and maybe not
in your 30s at least it didn't for me I
was just fighting to be successful in my
20s and 30s but at this phase I wish
someone would have grabbed me at 25 and
said you're going to make all the money
you want you'll have all the success you
want make sure your soul is aligned with
that money and every time I don't know
about you every time I align my values
my soul my purpose whatever it is you
want to call it with my businesses or my
profits they always soar without having
to obsess on the you know on the on the
numbers
what you just said is so important and
is is the like driving force of My Life
um like you I chase money first and
foremost that was it I wanted to get
rich period yeah when people when people
I hear their story of I had this
Epiphany to change the world at 22 I'm
like that wasn't me yet I just wanted to
be rich because I hated being poor I
wanted to take care of my mom you I
could lie so anyway I didn't mean to
interrupt but I get it man not at all
and I I really hope people are hearing
what you're saying because it's like
everything that I say Beyond like
aligned the way that you generate your
wealth with what you love doing is like
trappings to try to point you back at
that because one you'll be far more
extraordinary because you care enough
about it to invest the time to get great
two it's the thing that is going to keep
you going when it gets really hard is
going to be that you believe in what
you're doing you're passionate about it
gives you more energy than it takes and
if you don't have that you're in real
trouble
and I'll say that some of that though is
a bit advanced class it's getting into
like you're talking about optimizing
which is so critical unless you're so
early in your development if you're like
your dad you know peeling gravel so what
I want to know is
you understand the psychology of people
and their story and how they get trapped
really well talk to me about how people
can get control of that story you talk
about
monitoring your thoughts being aware of
what you're thinking being aware of the
story you're telling yourself you're
right and what stands between us and
where we want to go
is never what we think it is it's not
the economy it's not the president it's
not that somebody already dominated the
health food industry or dominated
Facebook advertising or dominated TV
advertising or there's no room left
it's never that it's always the story We
Tell ourselves on why we can't achieve
that and and if if I wanted to boil it
down I would just say what is your
biggest why what's your biggest goal
that you would love if it was a year
from now we were sitting here you're
watching this it was a year later and it
was the best year of your life what
would be the biggest thing that would
have changed in your life from money
income family love intimacy being a
better dad mom whatever whatever that is
if you say to yourself I would love that
goal like I I'd love to have my company
doing a million dollars a year in net
profit so I could have freedom for my
family then just say but
and whatever that butt is is usually
your story
it's like I would love my company to be
doing a million dollars yet but I live
in a smaller town and there's just not
enough people to do it or the internet's
so saturated there's no room to
advertise on Facebook anymore because
everybody and their brothers on whatever
that story is is usually your story and
that's the results you get and that
story is the the thing the thing
standing between you and your next level
and and I know people are watching right
now going oh Dean that's nice you guys
got money now so it's easy I don't have
any money I don't have a partner I don't
have any business experience you know
this economy is not right for what we do
and and you know where there's where
there's you know that old saying where
there's a will there's a way if that if
your story is that that's what you'll
continue to get so what I would say is
if I was going to boil it down is
find what that story is now to you you
might be saying Dean you're saying it's
a belief it's reality and maybe it's
phase three but reality is nothing more
than our perception of a situation right
we all know that you've read that in
value you've watched it on Tom's show
everybody have said it but maybe it's
the first time you actually think about
it that that reality you think is
holding you back is really just the
story so there's two things I say is go
find somebody else with that same story
like go look at your your Evolution
where you were on your couch no money
right go look at Richard Branson's Story
look at Tony Robbins Story look at you
know John Paul digiorio or all the
amazing books ever I've read every book
in there that's amazing the people
you've got to interview and meet but
read all those stories and realize
that first of all that story you have is
probably a lie right so if you can find
proof like Leverage that it's a lie
that's one thing but then the one that
would get me is I love aspiration I love
to look and say look what you did man I
I want to get there if he did it I can
do it but sometimes you need the pain as
well so what I like to do is I like to
think
take that story and think it's five
years from now and think it's ten years
from now and you're still in the same
exact spot you are now you're still
worried you still have Envy you still
want more you desire more you want to
take care of your family you want to
provide more and think that that story
those two sentences is the thing holding
you back do you really want to give that
story that much power and then think
it's 10 years from now and that story is
still done and all of a sudden it like
for me
I think am I going to let that story
stop me I brought my son with me today
am I going to stop from giving him the
opportunities that I didn't I'm not
raising I have two children I'm not
raising entitled kids I want to give a
massive opportunity I don't want to
leave him a trust fund I'm going to
leave him massive opportunity and train
him I'm not going to let any story get
in the way of me being that Dad and if a
story pops up that says hey I can't make
baseball this week because of this I'll
change the damn story I'll fist fight
with that story and I'll look at the
pain I'll have if I keep that story so I
love the aspirational part of this story
will stop me from my new life but I also
like are you gonna let that story screw
you around for the next 5 10 15 years I
mean man we're going to be 90 laying in
a bed looking up like before we know it
and you want to think I squeezed all I
could out of life or did I let just
beliefs that other people gave me hold
me back now let's say that they do that
they're looking back they understand
what they would have to change to really
get you know so they're at a future
Point thinking okay this is the best
year of my life if they look back they
understand what they have to do to
actually make that come true
they identify a limiting belief they get
the butt and then they oh okay that cool
I got it I'm owning that story
unintentionally now how do they start
writing a news story without feeling
like they're lying to themselves yeah
yeah no that's true so in 10th Grade I
decided I wasn't going to college wasn't
that smart I had dyslexia family didn't
have money none of my family ever went
to college I just wanted out of school
so my dad owned a collision shop it was
called Paul graziosi auto body and uh he
never made more than 30 grand a year I
told you he worked really hard but not
profitable just worked hard so my dad
said if you're not going to go to
college I'll make you a 25 partner in
the collision shop in 11th grade if you
can get out by 11 o'clock so 11 o'clock
I start 11th and 12th grade I took like
ceramic gym and and English and I was
out I was at the collision shop so in
11th grade in this little town I grew up
of 8 000 people a little town called
Marlboro New York the collision shop
sign he switched it and it became Paul
and Dean Otto by body you know I'm like
that was huge for me and I I worked I
worked like my dad did I hustled I went
there at 11 o'clock I worked every night
and my dad was like hey our business is
doing better because you I was better
with the clients I was better I brought
more people in I hustled so now all my
friends are going off to college or
going into what they're doing like
you're not going to college like no I
got this collision shop like I felt like
a little sense of Pride like I was
making movement and by then I was giving
my mom some money I was giving my
grandmother some money and uh and had
this Evolution I felt good so about two
years out of high school
my dad goes through his fourth divorce
and it hits him really hard
and
um it hit him so hard that he checked
out and he said hey I'm not going back
to the collision shop I'm not paying the
rent it's done and I was like I at that
phase of my life Tom I felt I was
embarrassed more than anything like I
remember that point because I was like
I'm not going to college but I own Paul
and Dean auto body with my dad and it
was like in my head not realizing I'm 20
nothing I'm like life's over I have no
money in the bank life is just screwed
and I started telling myself that story
and I lost the spark I had had since I
was about 12. like since 12 I'm like I'm
not this smart but I'm going to do this
I'm going to do it and I lost it and I'm
going to friends like hey if your dad or
anybody you know needs a car fixed I'm
doing it out of my garage and I know my
friends are like uh and
then all of a sudden
so this is what I'll share with you
maybe you've had a story worse than that
or maybe a story not as bad as that
but I remember being in there and saying
to myself like what the hell am I doing
telling myself this crap like if I feel
this way this is why would it be my dad
and I remember at that moment I changed
the story and I started thinking to
myself and it didn't happen overnight so
this is what I want to encourage you
when you find the bad story find a way
to just reverse the whole thing I'm like
no no
because I don't have a college degree
I'm going to fight and I'm going to do
this because I was always small I'm
going to do this because I have no money
I'm going to do this because my friends
think I can't I'm going to do this and
all of a sudden I started changing this
story not overnight but over weeks it
became my empowering story I wasn't
looking at a deficit I'm like screw you
guys you think I'm not going to do this
because I don't have what you have I'm
gonna show I'm going to blow right past
you whether that's a good thought or not
at the time it served me that's not how
I look at things now but at the time it
served me some of it was and I was able
to reverse that story and that story got
me through just like what got you from
going the couch getting changed to where
you've what you've created it's
unbelievable the impact you've made on
the world but if we had the wrong story
if we had the wrong beliefs we're
screwed before we start
I'm glad that we went down this road
because if one person watching today
just says screw this old story and you
spent the time to make that an
empowering story that I think the game
changes forever
what is up my friends I have huge news
for you about one of the most exciting
and important projects I've ever worked
on in my life as you guys know it is my
mission to help teach people about how
to build a mindset and the skills that
they're going to need to live an
extraordinary life and over the last few
months I've been working hard behind the
scenes to create a brand new tool that
will help you do exactly that it's
called project Kaizen and I'm proud to
announce that I'll be bringing it to the
world later this year project Kaizen is
a web 3 based game like experience that
is a story based world that's going to
allow you to get inside build an avatar
that is aspirational of who you want to
become and then take the path of the
warrior seeking continuous Improvement
inside of a story world and game
experience alright my friend I cannot
tell you how excited I am about this
amazing new project which I think ushers
in a whole new form of entertainment and
I want to meet you inside of larger
Kaizen and help you have fun with these
ideas of always getting better right
click the link and join me in Discord
and until then my friends be legendary
take care peace
do you have people that ask you like hey
I'm rewriting my story but it doesn't
feel real what advice do you have for
them
um
rewriting my story and it doesn't feel
real of course it doesn't feel real
because you've been living the old story
so long all changes is uh you know all
change
freaks people out whether they believe
that they like change or not and I think
not only been telling yourself the story
so long is when you tell yourself a bad
story
we look for things do you ever do you
ever have something buggy like everybody
does and you Google it and you find all
the negative stuff like oh my God I got
I got cancer I have you know it's I have
a tumor right it's the same thing with
with our insides right when we have a
story that's holding us back we find
Social proof all around us it tells us
that it's the truth right you talk to
your aunt who says yeah Hey listen rich
people get to do those things we don't
you just play it safe and all of a
sudden subconsciously you're like oh
maybe that story is right so you have
all these years of sometimes years
months weeks whatever it is you have the
story and then you only collect the data
that supports the story so your
subconscious can be okay with playing
small what I love in in your real life
story is that it wasn't like you were
saying oh this Epiphany I look up the
stars align it was okay you have the
trouble with your dad and his uh most
recent divorce yeah looks like
everything is collapsing you get it back
it's going in the right direction we're
winning again this is incredible and
then you make a deal to sell your car
flipping business yeah and then that
goes to hell yeah and in that moment the
the story comes rushing back of maybe
everybody's right maybe I wasn't smart
enough absolutely and so that in fact
you just posted this on your Instagram I
thought it was so brilliant it was the
life of an entrepreneur and it showed
this like I'm winning everything I
screwed up [ __ ] I really sucked I'm
winning again yeah I've got this video
and just like this back and forth back
and forth how did you when you thought
oh I've overcome this I've got the
empowering story and then it all falls
apart again the inner villain as you
call it like start speaking up how did
you deal with it the second time around
was it easier was it harder I think it
was harder it was harder because it was
bigger because so the story just so you
said I I went I got I ended up after
that I worked in that little garage I
was working on one car my story changed
I started getting power two cars three
cars I went to the the woman who owned
the collision shop my dad had rented for
Mrs Mary Lou presti she was a great old
lady uh elderly lady and we became
friends and she sold me the collision
shop with no money down wow so I bought
the collision shop my dad lost I named
it Dean Collision Center I took the Paul
off I was mad at my dad so I named the
dean Collision Center I bought it and I
started and I got Enterprise Rent A Car
account I got Hertz Rent a Car account
we went from this Rinky Dink collision
shop to a successful collision shop
started buying and flipping more houses
and then in the late 90s I wanted to
teach people how I made money with cars
I used to wholesale cars if you ever
went and traded in a car and they give
you a low price I'd run ads in the
classified said hey if you're getting a
low offer uh call me I'll sell your car
for you and then I'd match buyers and
sellers and make money in the mail so I
created a course called motor millions
and I'd watched Tony Robbins on info
commercials and I had no idea what I was
doing I put all the money I had together
hit credit cards and I fill my first
infomercial in 1999 and I sold the
course called motor millions and went on
TV and was literally running motor
Millions my education business out of
the collision shop like I had three
phones on the desk and oh no that's the
that's the motor Millions phone and uh
and we ramped up and I had no idea what
I was doing I knocked on a lot of doors
and finally rolled out on TV and
probably got to a 10 million dollar a
year company you know the trials and
error of figuring it out right a lot of
mistakes because I had no idea what I
was doing and I was about three years
into that and I wanted to teach
everybody real estate and I had somebody
come in and offer to buy motor millions
and they uh they took the company and
came in like hey you're running like Mom
and Pop we're gonna turn it to a company
and they blew the company up I mean like
in nine months like as fast as you could
blow a company up they blew it up
and uh I remember when they were making
all these changes I remember thinking
well I'm not that smart these guys are
smarter than me so they're probably
doing it right even though it didn't
feel right so long story short the
company went belly up but my name was
attached to it and they didn't pay
refunds with people who bought my
courses and stuff so I went to court and
literally took back the debt and then I
over the next two years I paid off a
hundred percent of the people who had
bought even though they bought through
the company bought it my bills were
ridiculous and all of a sudden cash flow
was shut off immediately and I'm
fighting to take back a dead company
like it was like I gave him a
thoroughbred that was ready to grow and
they broke its legs and gave it back to
me and I had to fight and pay to take it
back then paid off and I thought I was
going to lose it and those limiting
beliefs at a different level came back
and said uh see you didn't go to college
you didn't study enough you weren't
smart enough to own a 10 million a year
company you weren't smart enough to
negotiate right what do you think you're
doing get this paid off go back
literally I was saying go back to
Marlboro go back to just real estate car
business you can make yourself 300 Grand
a year like literally those beliefs came
in all over again
and I would I would bet to say
what did it for me then was two things
is I started thinking back up all the
things that I went through and it was
just as painful when I was broke getting
my first deal done get broke living in a
bathroom broke in that garage going to
the collision shop and I realized that
it doesn't matter how many zeros are at
the end or how big your company is the
pain is still there and if you have the
ability to get through a death get
through a hard time get through
something horrible in your life you have
the same ability and you probably agree
this when your company's got you know
three zeros or nine zeros or ten zeros
it does like
the the stress and the worry is almost
the same if you look back it's just
you're just handling bigger problems and
I think I think I mean you want to
upgrade your life upgrade your problems
right but but
I think that's what got me through is I
literally looked back and said wow I
thought I was dead then I wasn't I
thought I wasn't going to make it there
I did and I started this mantra
if I can get through this [ __ ] I can get
through anything and I remember I would
just walk and I would say it oh if I can
get through this I can get through
anything this is my time this is my
purpose this is my calling I went from
the worst time in my life to be in being
empowered and motivated and the energy
just I took my team with me they felt
the energy they felt the motivation and
and we just blew right through to
another level one of the lines from
right out of the 5 a.m Club is
one of the dnas of legendary is
longevity so if you look at the picassos
the Jean-Michel Basquiat you look at the
great sports champions you look at the
great history makers
they were much better at Energy
Management than time management
and so we're in a war against
distraction right now and what we really
have to do is optimize our energy how do
I do it well I mean I get to the morning
routine which which the whole book is
based on but it's really quite powerful
because if you start your day with
sweaty exercise you're actually going to
activate a pharmacy of Mastery that
exists in every human brain I know you
love the Neuroscience you're going to
release bdnf which is brain derived
neurotrophic Factor that's going to
actually accelerate your processing it's
actually going to repair brain cells
that have been damaged by stress you're
going to release the neurotransmitter
dopamine which is the the fire
neurotransmitter which we all need as
entrepreneurs and business Builders and
and Servants of humanity
cortisol the fear hormone is highest in
the morning so exercising first thing in
the morning is going to reduce that I'm
getting into my 20 20 20 formula but I
mention it because it is a way to
maximize your energy
so talk to us about the 20 20 I mean you
sort of started it there with the the
sweaty exercise but what's the rest of
that formula which is pretty powerful
sure so the new book is all about rising
at 5am and that's because if you look at
the Great creatives and the great Saints
and the Great humanitarians and the
great Titans of Industry many of them
got up at 5am even right now you've got
Tim Cook and you've got Howard Schultz
and it goes on and on
before the sun rises is the time of
least distraction before the sun rises
where you can build intimacy and fluency
with what you want to stand for in your
day before the sun rises the luxury and
Tranquility of the early morning hours
you can do that deep inner work that
will allow you to go out in the world
and and play at your best so what the 20
20 20 formula is is simply this there's
three Pockets the first pocket is move
five to five twenty and you get into the
sweaty exercise because like I mentioned
it releases
neurotransmitters that reduces the
cortisol increases your metabolic rate
which gives you more energy so now and
serotonin as well which gives you Joy
so now it's 520 fundamentally you feel
different you have energy your state is
strong you've got a fire in your belly
and you've accelerated your focus
520 to 540 is the second pocket of the
20 20 formula which is reflect we live
in a world where a lot of people are
busy being busy but what's the point of
being busy around climbing the wrong
Mount everests and so Clarity is one of
the dnas of Mastery you know this if you
talk to the Titans up industry and you
talk to the people really getting
traction around their ambition
these are people who have a mono
maniacal focus on the few things that
matter they have an obsession bordering
on a possession around the few
priorities they want to build their life
around and so 520 to 540 the second
pocket you write in a journal
you meditate
you visualize
you do what I call in the book a
blueprint for a beautiful day
or you just sit in solitude and you
think and you Ponder and you reflect and
then the final pocket is 5 40 to 6
o'clock and this is the victory hour
the final pocket is grow but if you look
at the greatest billionaires I've
coached many billionaires over the past
20 years if you look at the greatest
producers on the planet these people
have one thing in common they are
ridiculously curious and no matter how
much money they make and no matter how
much impact they have
they maintain a white belt mentality one
of the keys to Epic performance is a
Relentless commitment to daily growth so
that's the 20 20 formula that the 5 a.m
method is built around and the premise
is basically this as you begin your day
so you hand craft the rest of your day
and if you have consistently great days
you're going to have consistently great
weeks quarters a year and a lifetime so
your days are life in miniature and you
got to get those mornings calibrated if
you really want to win when you were
talking about the the obsession that
borders on possession which I like a lot
and I think is the thing that's missing
from a lot of people's lives in fact
I'll say that I don't think people know
how to want and I don't think they know
how to turn a want into a crushing need
and so there's people have this vague
sense that they want something but they
don't know how to really cultivate that
how do you help people with that how do
you help them light themselves on fire
and really commit to something
I
Tom I actually believe we are built to
want
the very nature of being a human being
is we are built to progress we know that
the human brain craves novelty and we
are most alive we have the most energy
we are most intimate with our best
selves when we're progressing towards
our Mighty Mission so I think we all
want I think what's happened on the
planet right now is there's been a great
seduction and a great brainwashing when
we are kids we want we want to be
astronauts we want to be billionaires we
want to be history makers we want to do
all our dreams and then and we stand in
awe and wonder and we're full of
curiosity and we're loving and we're
passionate we're strong we're not afraid
to be ourselves
but as we leave the Perfection of
childhood the hypnosis and the
brainwashing begins our well-intentioned
parents say oh you want to be an
astronaut you want to start a business
when you grow up you want to paint like
John Michelle baskia
be reasonable
and George Bernard Shaw said it better
than I ever could he said the reasonable
man adapts himself to the world
the unreasonable one persists in
adapting the world to himself
therefore all progress depends on the
Unreasonable Man
so that's our nature but our parents
give us limitation based on their
limited psychology and their emotional
patterns that they learn from their
parents then we go to school and we talk
to live in a box think in a box dress
like everyone else don't sing too loudly
don't dream too big don't be too
passionate and then our peers do the
same thing to us and then society says
oh genius is the realm of genetics not
Everyday People which has been dismissed
by some very good science you know I
mean the ten thousand hour rule that we
all know from Florida State University
Professor Andrews Erickson it just
confirms so much so I do think we all
want I think what's happened is we've
as we've left who we truly are we've
contracted and now it's all about
staying safe in the world versus going
out there and letting our brilliant our
Primal genius shine and a lot of people
just have stuffed that pain of
disappointment and their doubt really
deep inside and they just
um are addicted to distraction and
escapes because they don't want to deal
with their potential that they've denied
take us back so you start out as an
attorney you're a litigator
and you write your first book you
self-publish it print it at Kinkos which
I thought was pretty interesting
um
how do you then take that leap like
obviously you were beginning to
cultivate that
um the the traits of the unreasonable
manner maybe it was a process of
unlearning
um but how did you do that how did you
Buck all of that and do something new
uh self-growth
you know we live in a world that
suggests the doorway to success swings
outward if you build the business if you
get the jet if you get the money if you
get the cars if you get the beautiful
spouse then you're going to be happy
what I believe and there's a model in
the 5am club that I think is a very
disruptive model but it's a
transformational model and it's called
the four interior Empires and it's not
just mindset it's mindset heart set hell
set and soul set and we can talk about
it if you like but I worked on those
four interior Empires when I was a very
unhappy litigation lawyer like I'd made
money I was successful I had two law
degrees and yet I wake up every morning
Tom and I'd go into the bathroom mirror
and I look at myself and I was a
completely empty person
and nothing
is more expensive than losing your joy
and your peace of mind
and so what I did was I started working
on myself you know I worked on my
mindset and I read all the books and I
went to the courses but that's only your
psychology and I think that's one of the
missing links in our field which is
everyone's talking about mindset but
mindset is just your belief system it's
just your psychology it's very important
but that's 25 percent of the Personal
Mastery equation
I believe the second piece is your heart
set and I worked on that purifying your
heart that's your emotionality not just
your psychology you're never going to
make history dominate your domain and
hand craft a world-class life if you've
got a great psychology but you're
carrying the pain and sadness
disappointment and Trauma of the past
so I worked on my heart set but that's
only the second interior Empire the
third interior Empire your health set
don't die if you want to change the
world like dead people don't change the
world
so Health set
biohacking there's a whole chapter on
recovery and the essentialness of sleep
so really getting your health set right
but
there's a fourth interior Empire that I
worked on
that allowed me to go out in the world
and and pursue my my magic
and it's a little dangerous for me to
share because I know how many business
people you know follow you and how many
entrepreneurs but I'm going to share it
because it's my truth so it's not just
mindset it's not just heart sentence not
just help that set its Soul set and
soulset has nothing to do with religion
Soul said is about working on your
character
so you re-access your nobility and your
bravery and your authenticity and your
decency and you find a cause that's
larger than your life
so when you go out in the world every
single morning people might ridicule you
because every genius is ridiculed before
they're revered people might throw
stones at you but you use them to build
monuments of Mastery people might not
understand you because any disrupter is
going to be misunderstood and even if
you're an army of One a Galileo or a
Steve Jobs or Phil Knight
you continue at all costs so those four
interior Empires that I go into
detailing in the book give you a fiery
inner core of warriorship and Leadership
that allow you to go out in the world
and do amazing things but it all starts
with who you are because you'll never
rise any higher than what's going on
within you I we really have to talk
about the the soul set and the Heart Set
I think those are going to be the ones
that are least familiar to people so
um in the soul set let's just dive into
the the most maybe a controversial one
but I I actually think people are going
to resonate with this
um the thing that you talked about in
the book that that really hit me is this
notion of being braver of finding ways
to get braver and I don't know it was
one of those where you're kind of like
trying to guess what the person is going
to say and I was so struck by that one
um how do we practice getting braver
what does it mean to be braver and then
how does that end up being useful for us
what terrifies you most go directly
there
because discomfort is simply
growth in Wolf's clothing
um but yeah I mean the last chapter is
uh I don't want to give too much away
but it's it's um an experience I live
you know it's it's Nelson Mandela's
prison cell have you been to Robin
Island I haven't but I am beyond
obsessed with Nelson Mandela so I know
the story very well you know I I I'd
encourage you to go because standing
that in that cell feeling the sensations
will transform you at a soul level as
well as hard set level so how do we
become more Brave well I went over to
Nelson Mandela's prison cell and I stood
there and I was shocked he didn't even
have a bed and he was in there for 18
years
then I went over to the Limestone Quarry
and I saw where Nelson Mandela spent 10
years chipping away at Stone to break
his spirit because they threw the stones
away
and then I saw the showers where this
elderly Statesman would shower while the
young guards would laugh at him
and then in the book I talk about a true
fact where
he was asked on Robin Island to dig a
grave and he he
got in the grave
thinking he was going to die and the
prison guards urinated on
and my point is simply this when Nelson
Mandela was released from prison after
27 years of total incarceration
the he invited the prosecutor who was
seeking the death penalty to dinner
and he invited the prison guard who kept
him in prison for 18 years on Robin
Island
to his inauguration as president of
South Africa and he was asked
why would you do that and he said
because
if I didn't I'd still be in prison
and my point is to lead and to become a
Great Hero
or an everyday hero
the doorway is through embracing our
suffering and doing difficult things I
think pleasure has been promoted too
much in our society like no great
Titan of Industry no legendary cellist
no great athlete you know the great ones
all understand that suffering is the
price of greatness so how do we become
braver you you do the difficult things
that you don't feel like doing but you
know have the payoff
you have a hard set that's a it's really
interesting and what I liked about it
was the way that you talk about you know
we all have this accumulation of trauma
oftentimes from when we're younger how
do you help people process through that
like how you've worked with some really
high performers how have you helped them
tap into that and then more importantly
how do you help them process through
that it's about reframing the event what
does that look like
journaling is profound do you Journal I
have journaled to say that I do Journal
would be a lie
you're going to love journaling like I I
do it almost every day I I had um I had
a show this morning and then I had to
set my intentions for you and all your
Global followers or viewers and so I
went back to my hotel room I took a cold
shower you know I've been fasting a lot
so we can get into fasting because I
fasted as I wrote the five-and club and
that helped massively and then I pulled
out my journal and I sat on my Terrace
and I literally started writing about my
intentions for impact Theory
and so how do you how do you move
through pain you Journal
um if you're going through heartbreak I
mean we've all experienced heartbreak
what we do is often we repress it
because we're not given the tools to
process through it you lose a business
people repress it
someone has a divorce or an illness oh
mindset reframe it psychology you're
swallowing pain you're swallowing
sadness you're swallowing anger we're
built to feel
right so
writing in a journal just getting it out
there's actually something in the 5m
club called the journaling
deconstruction because it's not just
processing through pain but to answer
your question that trauma of heart set
you write in a journal you get it out of
your system guess what you don't bring
passive aggressive into the workplace
you don't bring sadness or low Vibe into
the workplace you're you're full of your
true self in terms of your heart set
which is gratitude love appreciation you
know what that does for a business you
know what that does for a human life so
if you're going through a painful time
write that out almost every day I write
gratitude but I love great restaurants
and so I'll take the business card and
the next morning I pull out my little
glue stick and I glued the business card
into my journal and I relive The
Experience oh I had dinner with so and
so here's what I learned I deconstruct
it with better awareness
we'll make better choices
better daily choices better daily
results imagine journaling like this
every single day you're going to have
such a cute awareness about when you're
at your best what the great ones do how
to live a life what you want to stand
for what your core values are you walk
out in the world and you're just
radiating possibility in a world where
people are addicted to distraction and
numbed out you've brought up distraction
before and I know you talk a lot about
it in the book
how do we
in this world where its algorithms are
literally being constructed to make sure
that they get our attention with as much
frequency as possible how do you talk to
people about eliminating that how do you
do it in your own life how do you create
that space how much time do you allocate
to that that real isolation
um
yeah the brain tattoo in the book is an
addiction to distraction is the depth of
your creative production
your people's phones are costing them
their Fortune
so how do I do it one of the rituals in
the book is the tight bubble of Total
Focus it's it's based on Edison's Menlo
Park
there's a great documentary on what he
did but essentially him and his band of
co-geniuses would leave the world go up
to this hill to Menlo Park where they
could get into Flow State to give credit
where it's to mihai Chick sent me high
of University of Chicago came up with
that term flow when we're at our
absolute best doing magical things in
our performance but that only comes when
we get away from the world so you can
play with your phone
or you can be mono maniacally focused on
being a history maker and legendary you
don't get to do both and so
building periods of time in that tight
bubble of Total Focus where you leave
your phone in another room where you
train your team or if you don't have a
team you just don't have any
distractions and you ask yourself what
is the one thing I could do that would
allow me
to go out in the world and
and bring my magic to the world the
human brain has a phenomenon called
transient hypofrontality the neocortex
as you know it's the the seat of
thinking it's our monkey mind it's all
the chattering it's the stuff that says
Tom you can't do it Rob and you can't do
it what would they think what if I fail
what if I get laughed at that's all the
neocortex it's the crown jewel of brain
development Not A Primitive brain Crown
Jewel
there's no genius in there now here's
what I mean when we get away from
distraction
and we find our Menlo Park or we go work
in a quiet place and we get lost
the neocortex actually shuts down that's
why it's called transient typo
frontality for a short period of time
our thinking shuts down the whole model
is in the book
and we actually go from brain waves at
beta
down to Alpha
down to Theta and maybe even Delta
and we stop thinking and we go into flow
in other words the advanced minds of the
world the great Geniuses Galileo da
Vinci
Steve Jobs they weren't in the neocortex
they got away from the world for bursts
of time which allowed them to access the
human capability we all have to get into
Flow State and access
insights that they went out in the world
and then executed on with a world-class
team which totally changed the game
how do you begin to build that like for
real you not in the abstract but how did
you begin to build your self-confidence
when like you're teaching people how to
do something that you don't you haven't
actually done in your life which like
that moment is where most people get
trapped right they see you now
successful and they just write you off a
little bit because it's like well you've
done it but if they could see you at
that moment and understand what you're
telling yourself and and get to like the
the reality of your velcroing your car
to look like a Mercedes right so there's
this really weird like you're not quite
like just fully accepting where you are
yeah but yet you really do accomplish it
yeah wow that is such a good question
that's another question I've not been
asked that way before so if we really go
back and we look at it I had a couple
good things happen for me
um or to me one was at that time my wife
did get Frank with me this is not who
you are this is not what you're about I
don't recognize this person this is who
you are and I had a other person to my
benefit pointing out to me the things
that were great about me this is going
to sound hokey but I'm going to give you
the big one and this is why life gives
you these great tests I had a really
good friend of mine I went to lunch and
he said I don't know who this guy is
here
in front of me and he goes let me ask
you a question honestly right now what
are you grateful for and at the lunch I
said
jack [ __ ] nothing brother there's
nothing good in my life right now
and I'm not exaggerating this to you
when I tell you this and this is a
factual story as I'm mouthing these
words two people walked in with an older
man both of them clearly were fighting
cancer somehow both had lost their hair
one of the ladies had a bonnet on and
they were barely moving in both walked
by our table and gave me the most warm
greeting the warmest Smile as a stranger
and he goes That's pretty freaking
pathetic you can't find anything in your
life to be grateful for right now and on
the drive home I'm not kidding you I
started to stack gratitude I started to
take inventory because if you can find
things to be grateful for in that space
man is your life going to be rich when
there really are external things to be
grateful for so my first mechanism out
of that space was honestly to stack the
things I was grateful for and I started
reinforcing it over and over and over
again
and what happens is there's this
reticular activating system in our
brains right and all of a sudden because
that's the messaging I was giving myself
all of a sudden all these things start
to come into my awareness that I'm
grateful for I start to magnetize to
myself some people that I needed to find
into my life and that was the next layer
I started to see things to be grateful
for my health my fitness people who
loved me and what it is it changed my
state when I stacked gratitude I changed
what I did in the morning and I changed
what I did in the evening and so somehow
by grabbing control of my morning and by
grabbing control of my evening I got
some measure of control over the middle
of my day I was an out of control person
back in those days meaning this I woke
up worried stressed fearful and I
immediately start thinking about a bill
I had to pay something that was wrong
and I'm in a state of reaction to begin
every I'm talking within six minutes of
waking up six seconds most people
listening to this that's what they do I
said I got to grab control of my morning
and I set up routines in my morning
maybe they served me maybe they didn't
but they were things I could deliver on
doing for myself and so not only did
that give me control over the day but I
started to stack my self-confidence too
and what were some of those things that
you grabbed onto huge so um and I have a
I'm not pitching this but I do have
audios out on this stuff too that people
can go get for free but by the way are
amazing thank you man thanks no 100 and
I really hope people will dive in like
your content is incredible thank you so
was yours which is why I wanted to find
you and that's I've been for a long time
wanted to be in your presence so my
morning routines are really detailed
um I get up and I hydrate the second
thing I do every morning is I do
something cold something cold so whether
that's I jump in the ocean because now I
live in the ocean but in those days it
was taking a cold shower or splashing
some cold water on my face or walking
out when it was cold it shocks our
nervous system our fight or flight kicks
in we're at a cellular electrical live
State I obviously do some prayer and
meditation every single morning I've
still not touched my telephone so
there's a rule there's 30 minutes I
cannot touch my telephone when I wake up
that's the hardest thing to do in the
world and the thing that could benefit
you the most because what's ever on that
phone you have to react to and typically
it's stuff that's not great and so I
don't touch that I do my meditation and
my prayer and I do some stretching I do
some breathing exercises and then at
that point I allow myself to enter the
world after I've got my state controlled
and I work out every morning except for
Sundays I work out every morning talk to
me about working out that's something
that completely changed my life
obviously and and every time somebody
asks me a question about you know how do
I I'm lost I feel you know completely
out of control I don't have confidence
my answers work out me too so why well I
think everything in our bot I think
everything in our lives starts with our
body if you're a person of Faith you
believe that's where your soul is housed
right and so it's the you you do
emotions
you don't just feel them you do them in
other words and you know this from
things you've learned in your life but
like Joy is an actual action not just an
emotion we feel a certain Joy there's a
certain breathing a certain movement in
our body depression and sadness is
something we do we're more hunched over
our breathing is more shallow right and
so there's a correlation between the way
you move your body and your emotions
they're directly this is even before we
get to dopamine hits and our nervous
system being I'm just telling you that
the way you move your body is an emotion
you do emotions and so when you move
your body you can't be in full workout
mode moving your body running walking
jumping jacks jump rope and be depressed
they don't go together simultaneous
because your body doesn't get the
connection I'm moving like I'm joyful
I'm moving like I'm having sex I'm
moving like I'm happy these are all
joyful States you can't be depressed
simultaneously so the quickest way to
change our Behavior our emotions in our
state is with our body all right now
let's talk about the the like nsets the
ones that really burn and really hurt
one thing that I've found is and you've
talked talked about this with
entrepreneurship in general he said it's
the uh the greatest like self-awareness
mechanism where you're going to find out
who you are what you're capable of how
hard you're willing to push most people
though getting into that position like
it's hard right that that's a sort of a
bridge too far yes but I love what
you're going when you start in the gym
and it's like do I do this extra set or
not do I push myself do I do an extra
exercise you going back to confidence is
self-trust it's like you begin to learn
something about yourself oh boy I'm
stealing that from you no please man and
that like legitimately changed my life
and so when I when I see guys that are
successful entrepreneurs and they're
jacked that never surprises me either so
um I I play these very strange games
with myself when I'm at the gym when I'm
working out I always do one extra rep
one extra set because it it's a promise
I kept to myself and here's the biggest
thing it's a pattern it's a pattern I
keep of me I always do a little extra I
always go the extra inch and the
quickest and easiest place to do it is
the gym because I can always grab one
more weight one more set and it here's
what it does it shifts your identity all
right talk to me about identity because
that is so I heard that first from Tony
the coach Tony Robbins the notion that
identity drives behavior and that was
one of those like lightning rod moments
where I was like whoa that's the hook
right if I want to change like my
behaviors I need to think of myself in a
different way correct you've leveraged
identity really powerfully how have you
done it and like what are some specific
moments where identity came to your
rescue so identity is the governor on
our lives it's the invisible force that
no one understands and once they do
understand and get a hold of it their
life can change and so not only if you
don't get a hold of this well these
outward conditions of your life keep
being exactly the same but it's you
could behave differently you could do
all the work now you could be thinking
great thoughts but you are going to get
out of your life you're going to be the
most powerful force in the world I think
is to be consistent with the concepts
ideas and worth that you hold for
yourself you will get that out of your
life what what you will tolerate okay
the deeper part of that is identity and
so identity is very much like a
thermostat sitting on a wall right this
is important once that temperature is
set at a certain degree everything in
the world externally can hit it and you
will find a way to get that temperature
so even in this house let's say it's set
at 80 degrees if we opened up all the
doors in cold air just the worst things
in life the blizzarder of Life came in
the thermostat will kick the heater on
and it will regulate this room back to
80 degrees the reverse is also true it's
a super hot day great things are
happening in your life it's getting
hotter and hotter and hotter if you're
at 80 degrees that internal thermostat
will find a way over a window of time to
cool your life right back down to 80
degrees again so the key the secret key
is to be able to shift that identity 90
100 120. so some of the ways strategies
to do that are are very simple one is if
I'm let's just say financially
you're a 200 degreeer and I'm an 80
degree if I'm in your proximity over and
over and over and over again you will
heat my identity up somewhere in between
mine and yours to 150 degrees same in
Fitness same in everything so the more
you can layer in multiple people the
stronger and stronger that forces so
that changes our thermostat through
Association it's a huge huge huge huge
thing people say you are who the five
people you hang around this is why they
adjust your thermostat that's number one
second way you can change your identity
is through doing short bursts of
something in a window of time you've not
done them before and they change the
thermostat temperature permanently
almost like a water line in the pool so
if it's a certain in the gym certain
amount in the gym or a certain amount of
phone calls in your business or certain
amount of appointments you make a
certain amount of money oftentimes
you're never the same again you've seen
this when your own net worth I've seen
it in mind there became a point where I
made a leap in a short window I was
never really the same again I could go
back a little bit but not back where I
was before so it's activity or successes
achievements and short burst of time and
then are obviously our self-confidence
impacts identity too and we've kind of
covered that those are three quick ways
that's incredible so walk me through
your your baseball career ends
um I know that your dad and you were now
you said he's your best friend that's my
best friend growing up alcoholic father
correct you said I think you were 14 or
15. that's right and then
um they're introducing you constantly as
the shy kid who plays baseball baseball
Falls away and now it's like how do you
get out from under well I'm the son of
uh you know somebody that struggled with
drugs and alcohol I'm uh the kid who was
supposed to be great at baseball now
that's gone like how do you get out from
under the weight of that yeah it is
weight too
um when I was small
um I was also really undersized so it's
probably one of the reasons I lift
weights I was always every baseball
picture on the kid holding a sign in the
front right so I was small and skinny uh
they used to tease me Eddie spaghetti
you know and I'd get bullied at school
and I never retaliated so I had that
mixed with dryness mixed with chaos in
my home which many people can relate to
and I got to tell you that the shift for
me Sports was good for me because it
gave me an out that I finally found
something that I was pretty good at I
think the biggest shift in our lives the
things that makes us the happiest is
that when somebody helps us identify our
natural giftedness
and when I was a little boy I got a
little bit older they pointed out my
speed
so it wasn't my lack of size I was fast
I was the fast kid right I always wanted
to be fast kid and I got confidence in
baseball doing that when I got into
business I said you know you're intense
when someone points out a gift about you
that you also kind of intuitively know
to be true
they're linked to them you're intense
you're passionate you won't get out work
you're Relentless I am those things and
when someone linked those gifts to me
winning now I believed I could win
that's the other way to change identity
is when someone can link your giftedness
to the victory you'll believe it not
like you're great that's General that's
[ __ ] but it's something you know
specific like for you right now you
wouldn't brag about there's a few things
you know you know what I am good at
these things right I've always been good
at these things it's natural for me and
when someone links that to you winning
like for you for example you're an
unbelievable interviewer you have this
General you you don't need to be the
smartest person in the room because you
probably are most of the time and so
there's a confidence no there's a
confidence that allows you to be present
when you interview me and just listen
that's different than anyone who's
interviewed me before and so that's a
natural giftedness for you which is why
there's a part of you that kind of knows
I am pretty you wouldn't say it but I am
pretty good at this this is a good
program and so the way we change your
identity the way I changed mine was by
getting in touch with what some of my
natural gifts were and and using them in
my career using them in my life that
shifted the weight right off of me
because the weight was I suck I'm shy
I'm small I have a screwed up family
that's the weight right the lifting off
of the weight is these are some gifts
God gave me or the universe gave me or
that at least I know I have and I can
spend my life using these gifts now I've
got hope now my identity is changing now
my life takes a different direction
it's amazing one thing that you have
talked about and this is I think the
thing about your Notions on identity
that I find really incredible is that in
the early days of you building your
business you said and I quote I was a
dick yeah
um but you were open to hearing that
most people can't hear that so that's a
moment where you accept that your
identity is something that you're not
proud of how do you make that change how
do you go in a New Direction where
somebody instead of pointing out
something beautiful they're pointing out
something ugly yeah aren't most of the
friends that you Revere the most the
most willing to take coaching from you
100 me too and so I I can't tell you why
I'm this way but I do believe it was
baseball I never took it personally when
a coach said you're dropping your
shoulder in other words because of
Athletics when a guy said spread your
right leg out your legs are too close
together I never thought I suck I can't
hit I wanted to know how to hit better I
wanted to know how to throw better and
so for me personally I'm constantly in a
crisis to get to the next version of me
it's not like I'd like to I wish I only
would like to I probably have a little
bit more peace in my life I am in a
crisis to get the next version of me and
so the guy sitting in front of you right
now if I come back in a year and I'm
just the same exact person with the same
thoughts same ideas same ways of
delivering them this was a wasted year
of my life right so I want to know how
to get to that next version of me and so
for those of you that struggle with
taking criticism I gotta ask yourself
how important is it to you to grow
because you were put on Earth to grow to
contribute to serve to help you were in
your way and the current version of you
is perfect as it stands right now but it
will be inferior next year you're
perfect as you are now especially you
ladies listening to this there's all
this messaging you're not this you're
not smart enough women are too dominant
then they're a diva right or you're not
beautiful enough ladies men you two you
are perfect as you exist right now but
that version of you isn't sufficient
next year you got to be crazy hungry
crisis to get to that next version of
you I want the data I want the input I
want the information I want the feedback
to get to the next version of me
regardless of how it emotionally makes
me feel I'm like driven by that without
that information why am I living
dude right that whole concept like when
people really ask how I've been able to
be successful it's that it's I'm stoked
on who I am today 100 like I'll give
myself the pat on the back before
anybody else but I'm so desperate to get
better yeah like I'm so hungry to know
why I'm inadequate right now for what I
want right correct so the way that I sum
it up is your past can never be bigger
than your future so it's like once
you've done something right I built a
billion dollar business but like for me
I'm not looking at that I want to know
what do I need to do and become in order
to hit that next thing that not only are
all Achievers doing that but all happy
people do that in other words here's how
we know you're perfect now you've
produced the external life you have so
you are perfect for that life right now
you are all you need to be right now but
if you want a different life an improved
life a growing life right an increased
life this version of you is inferior to
get to that place and so the reason we
have Rapport the reason we like each
other is like I also want to be
surrounded by people who are not
messaging me is enough enough
everything's good man take a break and I
may not want more money you and I both
have a lot of money right we'd probably
like more but it's not my driver I want
more peace more gratitude more abundance
more contribution more memories more
experiences more joy more love that will
never be enough for me put me in the
ground if I don't get any more of that
stuff right I want to grow I want to see
the next place and so that's the journey
those of you that have faith if you
believe there's this place you're going
to someday that's because you're always
going someplace so you might as well
want to get the information and the
equipment to get there and that's that's
where I want to go I love that how do
you keep your standards so high and then
how do you push them even higher the
next year uh I'm really lazy
so if you lift up the answer I know and
that's so I want to give you the honest
one like like left to my own devices
right if you just left me like what I'd
like to do I hey man I have no problem
laying around
um I like sleeping I got people think
they meet people like you know they're
like they're robots they're other life
forms they're just different than me no
we build habits rituals and disciplines
that serve us okay now part of those
habits rituals and disciplines have sort
of turned me into a more confident
person there's no question about that so
my standards are mandatory because you
get your standards right and so the
reason my standards are set so high is
because I don't want to leave it up to
my own devices right my standard is one
more minute on the treadmill my standard
is one more person I can reach that day
one more phone call one more something
and so for me I raise them every single
year but the way I get to do it is I
link it to my reasons and so goals are
really empty to me I have a thing on
goal setting but like my big thing is
that you show me someone with compelling
emotional gigantic reasons I'll show you
someone who's changing their standards
all day long so like give you one quick
version that you not heard before one of
the reasons I'm relatively fit is not
just Peak state
I have an uncle in my family that died
at 50 years old of a heart attack it's
my godfather my dad's only brother I
kind of resembled him
and I look like him a lot so on the way
back from his funeral my reticular
activator is on heart attacks on the TV
screen on the airplane I'm listening to
music is the Oprah Winfrey Show she's
going through a new heart scan
I've unplugged my headphones plug it
into the airplane one they're some of
this new scan at Cedar cyanide that at
that time was new it could read the
plaques in your arteries the
calcifications without going you know
really invasively I scheduled it I went
in I had a world-class Doctor Who
understood reasons and leverage instead
of just prescribing because when we
coach people you need to do this you
need to do this doctors do it take this
pill take this
he understood leverage and reasons what
you do is you take the scan then you go
to lunch you come back I took the scan I
went to I had a burrito I came back and
I'm in the when I walk in I sit down the
doctor comes up and he says
oh my
I can't believe these arteries are in
that young body
got my attention we walked back in we
sit down he could still go you need
Crestor eat clean get out of here is
that what an average doctor does right
no wired me with huge reasons he goes
let me ask you a question I heard your
wife's pregnant you have I said I have a
son and he says do you want to be there
when he graduates from high school to be
there for that day I said yes sir yeah
he goes your wife's pregnant what do you
have it I said a daughter this is where
you get a dad he goes she was six months
pregnant he goes do you um would you
like to walk her down the aisle on her
wedding day or are you okay that it's
some other man
I went what the [ __ ] is on this scan
right like and he goes I want to be very
clear with you if you keep going down
the road you're going there'll be some
other man with your son at graduation
high school and a stranger's walking
your daughter down the aisle it's not
even born yet on her wedding day and I
went boom and he goes but if you do
exactly what I tell you to do you'll be
there and so to this day brother there
are mornings when I wake up not every
morning I don't want to go to the gym I
go Bella's wedding Bella's wedding
Bella's wedding so my standards are high
because of my big old reasons other
dudes may miss the gym that day because
they're not going to miss their
daughter's wedding if they don't go but
I've convinced myself I get emotional
I've convinced myself I'll miss my
daughter's wedding so I will get my ass
out of bed at four o'clock in the
morning and I will get to that gym
because my reasons are bigger so my
standards are higher what is up my
friend Tom bilyeu here and I have a big
question to ask you how would you rate
your level of personal discipline on a
scale of one to ten if your answer is
anything less than a 10. I've got
something cool for you and let me tell
you right now discipline by its very
nature means compelling yourself to do
difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
right I've just released a class from
Impact Theory university called how to
build Ironclad discipline that teaches
you the process of building yourself up
in this area so that you can push
yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University and tell them my friends be
legendary peace out
I know that you've talked about Clarity
is super important carrots talk to us
about those two things which I think are
both pretty powerful yeah Tom I would
say questions you know like right now uh
uh I I I'm more curious about people
that I can't even help myself I'm asking
you questions like hey you know how come
you don't have any kids we don't have
any kids why don't you have any kids
well because you know we decided six
years ago we're not gonna have any kids
but how did you know that we got married
17 years ago but we've been together for
20 years and my wife just so it was a
decision and emotional decision or
logical decision I think it was a
logical decision because it was finally
a way to get in you know fulfillment
what you and your wife did is what very
few people do and the whole purpose is
sitting down and asking the questions
what if I get asked a question that I
don't have the answer to one of the
scariest things about life is a question
the the scary question can shake a soul
up
because no one's asked that question
from you so for me the transition for
somebody to want to change it and get
clarity is actually asking questions if
you don't ask the questions of what you
want to do next the world is going to
put you in the Box on what you have to
do next because they're determining who
you need to be and you are rising up to
their expectations because you're not
asking the questions yourself so Clarity
to me is stemmed from you being able to
sit down and ask those tough questions
that piss you off that irritate you that
make you emotional that you cry over
that you reflect that makes you want to
do research that makes you follow up
that makes you sit down and say I don't
really know I've never thought about
this before and that goes deeper and
deeper and deeper so Clarity is stamped
based on like the way you answer the
question to me Tom it was amazing so do
you have any kids no we made a decision
a long time ago we don't want to have
kids the way you said it was like very
nonchalant really it was so like let me
ask what we did then I said so tell me
how you processed it
it's very obvious that was a very
comfortable certain decision with a lot
of time put into it very few people do
that and then you've got Clarity and
Clarity gives confidence so somebody
looks at your eyes when you give the
answer there is no you know looking away
or uncomfortable or anything you're like
this is who we are this is the decision
we made but that Clarity came from all
the conversations you and your wife had
together I don't think enough people do
that together yeah no question one thing
in your book that you talked about that
I thought was really interesting was you
asked the question to your point about
questions when was the last time you
thought about your identity and you just
brought that up what's that process for
people how do you be like how what is
the identity which I think most people
give stats like what do you mean by that
and how can people begin to shape their
identity so Tom who were you in high
school
what was my identity yeah so if I was in
high school with you who were you you
were comedian thousand percent okay
comedian when did it change uh as soon
as I went to college I consciously
decided I wanted to become the artist
which was not necessarily the right
decision but that was yeah when I
changed and then what happened from
artist to Quest poverty
and so I so I start
um want to be the funny guy because I
need attention in high school by the end
of high school I'm very good at making
people laugh in a sort of living room
funny way I do countless hours of
practice of stand-up comedy and when I
go to college I'm like my only style of
humor is self-deprecating so I'm always
making fun of myself which actually
makes me think a little bit less of
myself so I very much had an inferiority
complex in high school I cheated my way
to being in the top 10 of my graduating
class I did terribly on my SATs and I
come into film school and I'm like this
is what I want to do with the rest of my
life like I actually want to be good at
this and that's one sort of realization
I'm grateful for was I realized at some
point you're in the big bad world and
you're either good or you're not and so
you better stop cheating really pay
attention and get good and so I thought
I need to take myself more seriously
stop making fun of myself so I didn't
tell anybody that I was you know a
comedic person or anything I didn't make
jokes nothing and so so I began to adopt
the identity of the artist I have some
artistic failures which creates this
identity crisis I'm very much in the
groups of poverty now because I've
graduated my parents aren't helping me
anymore I'm selling Insurance door to
door uh so what year is this this is
this would have been 99 wow so 20 years
ago yeah so and and I'm just like in
this I'm sliding towards depression I
have no sense of how I can make things
come true this is all pre-internet so
like there's just there's no hope for me
like there's I the idea to make a
hundred thousand dollar film which back
then there was no YouTube there was no
video cameras you could make movies on I
mean it just wasn't a thing so it was
like 100 000 film might as well have
been 100 million dollar film so I'm
stuck what am I gonna do and that's when
I meet these two entrepreneurs who are
like look you're coming to the world
with your handout and if you want to
control the art you have to control the
resources and so that began a very long
journey of identity for me of figuring
out who am I how do I Define myself now
and how is that useful wow like
understanding that it is completely
malleable I can decide right now that
I'm somebody else that my identity is
something new and something different
like I remember the day I told people I
was going to start lifting and I just
said right now today I'm lifting and I
told people I'm going to put on muscle
I'm going to look like Hugh Jackman
everybody's like yeah yeah right and I
just went beast mode and I just started
working out all the time and I realized
whoa like it's a demarcation Line in the
Sand yesterday at this time I did not
have the sense that I'm going to become
like Hugh Jackman that I am a lifter I
am somebody who sticks through with what
they say and now today I'm just going to
decide that is me and so I began telling
people it which gave all this pressure
that I had to live up to it and I began
to realize like whoa this is a lever
that you can pull and it drives Behavior
that's amazing I mean that pretty much
explains the whole thing about identity
right so uh I think the first identity
we have is whatever identity we're
trying to get attention for you know
when you come out you're saying Your
family extremely obese I think you said
so I don't know was it a a mom and dad
stayed together was it a healthy family
was it loving was it was it a crazy
environment was it a lot of pressure no
like it was pretty good but my parents
end up so I I have this recurring
nightmare as a kid and I can't explain
it I'm in a Loveless marriage so imagine
me at 14. I've never had a relationship
but I have this recurring nightmare
about being in a Loveless marriage
not realizing of course my parents were
in a Loveless marriage and I just didn't
know wow and so on some subconscious
level I was obviously picking up on that
mad respect to my parents who stayed
together until three weeks after I left
for college and then they split get out
of it no and I actually respect it like
that I would never do that I would never
repay that because that's so crazy to me
to live a life that's less than it could
be for your kids why I don't have
children it makes sense um so but they
did that I'm very grateful wow going
back to the identity part uh you know
you had a moment that you had to make a
decision and you asked some questions
and you met a couple people that
eventually inspired you to want to make
change and then you went after what you
wanted to do and that day when you said
I'm gonna start looking like Hugh
Jackman the next day and one day the
decision not that serious the next day
here's what I'm gonna end up in when I
listen to your story it's all Y2 and we
don't spend enough time with Y2 Y2 is
linked to Identity how-to is systems
learning it's a skill it's a skill set
anybody can pick that up so identity is
you asking the questions until
eventually you get to a point that you
get to the deeper part of who do you
want to be what life do you want to live
and why do you want to live this life
why is it important why is it what
you're putting through all these hours
why would you want to do that that's
transition when you go through it and
then the pressure part when you said
here so I'm going to be where you
declare your intentions to the world
this is what I'm going to be doing a lot
of times we keep doing a secret and so
there's a debate some say you should
never declare your intentions to the
world because that pressure could create
anxiety you should never do it you know
like Babe Ruth pointed a finger and I'm
going to hit a home run what if you
don't hit it what if you fail you know
what if you say Michael Jordan says the
Bulls never winning losing game seven
you should never say that because
there's too much pressure on the players
or then the other side said well you
should put the pressure on yourself
because your teammates play better
because it's not on them it's on you and
the leader does that to me um I think
declaring intention serves a purpose I
think when you go out there and you say
this is what I'm going to be doing this
is where I'm going to be at you
officially have the world holding you
accountable that pressure could be good
pressure to put into your life we we
hear the phrase peer pressure
and we always get the negative
connotation with peer pressure right
it's like hey don't do drugs because of
peer pressure you know say no to drugs
peer pressure go to school peer pressure
peer pressure where I mean it all
depends what appear is that's giving you
pressure because if you've got the right
pure giving the right kind of pressure
you can do some big things in your life
so I think that additional kind of peer
pressure you put into yourself you're in
the right circles right environments
those two guys that you know put some
kind of a peer pressure or Direction
into you can really be a spark to change
someone's life where all of a sudden the
identity goes from being a regular
person to the next day no one recognizes
them
in the world of social media of
influencers there's some that will say
things like listen you have a lot of
time take your time you're okay you're
going to be all right you're going to be
fine you have a lot of time and that's
fine that can work for some audiences
and sometimes you wonder if it's almost
like a strategy so other people don't
catch up to you because they think
they're like honestly you sit there and
say is this guy really that dark that
he's trying to get everybody else to
slow down so he kind of you know works
his ass up but hey everybody else you
slow down it's okay where for me on the
other side is listen this never lies
this Lies when I look at my hand this
way I'm 25 years old when I look at my
hand this way I'm 40 years old we look
at our hands too often this way I like
to look at my hands like this this
doesn't lie this is a 40 year old
wrinkles This is 40 okay I can't lie
about that that's 40 years old now I can
look at this and say no I'm a lot
younger I got a lot of time we don't so
for me
I would sit there one of my biggest
drivers was you're at your dad's funeral
this this sounds crazy to some people
but I have visualized it's gonna be the
first time my dad's are going to hear
this because I've never said this to him
because you know I just don't want to
tell them this kind of stuff because I
don't want him to think about it like I
don't want him to say hey I can't
believe you said this I have visualized
my dad's funeral
50 000 times
and when I visualize I'm like okay
you're speaking what are you saying you
know you're the closing speaker what are
you going to say you're okay with it are
you okay with who's going to be there
you know are you okay if he does at this
stage your kids never met him they don't
have a relationship with Grandpa like
you don't for you it matters because
David last name you're the only person I
can continue this David last name all
the other guys didn't have kids you have
to continue this generation there's a
legacy Syrian Community is a small
community we're endangered species it's
not like there's millions of us it's a
very small community of Syria we lost
our country
so I go there and I'm like oh my gosh
that's not how it's going to be here's
how it's going to be he's going to live
this this is what's going to take place
so when that day comes I'm not going to
have any regrets because I'm going to be
good that visualization of going there
creates so much urgency for me that
makes me move too often this whole gift
that we have like we're not putting that
gift of imagination and visualization in
place and so either we waste it and we
just go into La La Land oh my gosh what
if I have a big house what if my you
know zip code is Beverly Hills but if I
have this big house and what if I could
put the big parties what if I date these
hot girls what if I date the best
looking guy what if I have this what if
I have that that's fine but that's not
deep enough you got to go really deep
really deep with purpose and really deep
with if you don't move what could take
place so again going back to it for me
is for people to sit there and realize
if you really want to move yourself ask
the questions go deeper on what Life
Could Happen both good and bad don't
just say oh all good or all bad tap into
both of them and hopefully that creates
urgency for you to start taking the next
necessary serious steps to grow your
business but the gift of imagination and
visualization is rarely used properly
it's interesting that you say that so
the 19 year old version of myself has
actually asked
um what's your ideal woman and I
described her just like you were talking
about height I said she's going to speak
a foreign language but she needs to
speak English perfectly to get my humor
um she but I find accents so sexy and I
think it's so cool when somebody can
speak a second language which was always
a fantasy of mine said she'll be short
she'll either be able to draw or sing
um and she's going to be like ethnic
somehow because growing up in Tacoma
dude it was white people 24 7. and so it
was like just finding somebody that was
like a little bit different was very
intoxicating so of course I end up
marrying a Greek girl but she grew up in
England so she speaks Greek but English
perfectly and she can draw she's a
world-class artist so I was like wow
this is so crazy when you really have
clarity about what you want and it comes
across your path and you're paying
attention then it's like all of a sudden
hey I'm gravitating towards this this is
you know something that's interesting to
me but one thing that I think really
became powerful for Lisa and I is
something that you talk a lot about
which is you've gotta shut out the noise
of what other people think and you've
got to be willing to really be yourself
know what you're thinking about why is
that powerful why do we need to
excluding some of the right people why
do we need to stop caring about what
other people think
because life goes by wasted when you do
that you know I remember when my parents
got a divorce
so my mother's side they're Armenian and
my dad's side they're a Syrian okay so
if I go to the Armenian side and I would
hang out with them they were on their
way to getting a divorce to Armenian
side would say he's a bad David he's a
Syrian and it would pin me against them
and if I went on the Assyrian side they
would say oh he's Armenian look at him
he's bad Adam and E which by that many
means a
a terrible Armenian is what it meant I
mean these things that they had
Armenians and Assyrians they have a big
debate on who's the first Christian
Armenians or Assyrians why was that an
important uh situation for me as a kid
because everybody indirectly
will impose their belief system into you
and it's never going to stop you know
this whole thing about people say oh my
gosh I can't wait to win to shut up all
my haters reality checks it ain't never
happened okay it ain't never happening
because every time you come up it's just
more of them right and they're always
the great thing about haters is I always
talk about the fact that my best
Consultants are my haters best because
it almost makes no sense to be a hater
let me explain to you why because haters
highlight your weaknesses
and if you're smart you're like he makes
a good point I do have bad caps I better
start working on my calves thank you for
that feedback now I kick your ass
because you pointed out my weakness what
a great consultant we don't need a
consulting firm we just need to hire new
haters looking for haters right come on
more haters please send me some more
hate so I can see my flaws my weaknesses
but the whole idea about that is hey one
day I'm going to make so much money I'm
going to shut everybody up that doesn't
work first of all that's not going to
take place the more you move up the most
hated man in the world today is the
president United States and prior to him
the most hater man in the world was the
president United States prior to him
which was Barack Obama once the Democrat
was a republican it's irrelevant that's
that part's not going away so the voice
is never going to be less so you have a
choice either you can say I don't want
to deal with The Voice live a small life
no problem it's okay as long as you're
happy with it you're content you're
aligned with your values and principles
more power to you but if you can't live
a small life and you have to live a big
life you have to understand that there's
going to be push and you have to figure
out a way to silence everybody every
time somebody gets married for for the
first time and if they ask the question
I never impose but if they ask the
question and say so what feedback would
you give us that we're just getting
married first of all everyone's going to
tell you when you guys going to have
kids it's number one when you're going
to get pregnant I said my suggestion to
you is tell everybody up front you don't
have any plans of having kids for 10
years okay but if you do you do but if
you tell me you're gonna have kids
everyone's going to tell you what how
come you're not pregnant yet does this
thing not work does your thing not work
what is going on I bet she's sick I
always knew she had that limp maybe it's
because of the way he walks I it's the
lisp I knew what was going to happen
with his family and then you're
overthinking right shut everybody up
right up front tell everybody to manage
expectation anticipation is game
day before I got married I set my uh
parents down they hadn't been the same
room for 20 years 20 years I hadn't been
in the same room and if they were in the
same room together a uh a German would
have been resurrected to start world war
three I mean they could not be in the
same room together but I I brought them
to my house they said oh we're coming to
your wedding I said no you're not
of course we're coming to a wedding I
said who told you to come in your
wedding did I send you an invitation I
didn't send you an invite you are
invited to my house both of you together
we're not coming to your house oh you're
not coming to the wedding
says what is wrong with you we're your
parents so I said listen I'm just
telling it's very simple you come to my
house that is your ticket to the wedding
because you are not going to create this
Escapade at my wedding the first time
you see each other after 20 years you
run all this other stuff so they came to
my house and they said
it was so uncomfortable it was
entertaining I wish I would have
recorded this setting right so they're
sitting I'm looking at them I can't take
the smile off my face because I'm having
too much fun with this so I say hey uh
Mom Dad I want to step out you guys got
to talk and you guys got to Hash it out
because you guys can't have any politics
at the wedding so I step out I am
literally out for 20 seconds they tell
me we're ready we're ready to come back
and so I come back and I said what
happened we're good so no problems no I
said okay you guys remember here's the
invitation here's the invitation they
came to the wedding but I told my mom
that they said Mom you have to realize
in a middle eastern culture a lot of
times
um moms are put number one before wives
I want you to know the day I Get Married
the following that you go from number
one to number two and it's very simple
and I don't want to hear about it she is
my number one you are my number two I
love you but you're not number one she's
number you're number two
it's very hard for her but it was clear
so you can't come in between me and my
wife if me and my wife gonna argue we
can argue it's none of your business
this is our business we're fighting we
didn't ask you for your advice we're
fighting leave us alone we have our own
issues we have to deal with but we don't
say those things so everybody creates
noise so the more you tell the world how
to manage expectations dealing with you
and what to anticipate you actually
minimize a lot of the noise and most of
the noise that's the most irritating are
from the people closest to you not
strangers because who cares what a
stranger says about you you care what
your family says about you and that can
be controlled if you do it properly
yeah the uh the world will treat you
exactly the way you let them treat you
which I think is super powerful and as
you were talking I was like it's so
important to do to lay down the ground
rules to tell people like what's okay
what's not okay and so many people are
terrified to do that they're afraid to
upset their mom
um I had a similar conversation with my
mom
um
what I find interesting is your concept
of of family values and it's not what
people think and walk us through our
Traditions excuse me family traditions
walk us through this notion of family
traditions and how people just take that
stuff on without ever questioning it
yeah you have to question everything
first of all it's not just family
traditions for me you got to question
everything you got a question if you
grew up a republican are you a
Republican and why if you grew up in a
family where everybody was a military
you know General Army whatever and
because of that you're a republican why
are you if you're a Democrat why are you
a Democrat because what because you're
Latino because you're black because
you're Middle Eastern you're you're a
republican because are you a Christian
for what are you a Christian because
you're a Christian because your parents
are Christians are you an atheist
because of you or your parents are you a
Scientologist because you're your
parents what are your belief system
right what are you doing and do you
subscribe to the same mindset do you
subscribe to the same mindset of what
rich people are you know I grew up in a
family where my mother didn't like rich
people so for me it was kind of like
rich people are terrible people they're
greedy all they care about is money I
can't stand rich people they're selfish
they put everybody else to work and they
live in these big homes and they do
nothing and they party and they go to
the nice restaurants and buy thousand
dollar bottle of wine and I'm freaking
having a two dollar beer here through
these rich people right I can't stand
these rich people he drinks a Bordeaux
and I'm drinking a Budweiser that
cold-hearted rich guy right and so to me
it was that so it's coming up I'm like
you know these rich people are greedy
then I started questioning everything
every single thing and when I started
questioning everything my philosophies
and life became clear you see for me
one of the reasons why I like a book by
Marcus Aurelius meditations or why I
like Ray dalio's book uh uh principles
is because it's here's my principles
here's my values and a lot of times we
don't take the time to say what are the
values and principles that I'm willing
to build my life on what are they and
what it really are they what what are
you willing to really stand up for you
know what is your core belief system you
know are you a certain belief because
you live in a certain city and you have
to be are you thinking about money in a
way because your parents looked at money
that way maybe your parents don't like
money because they didn't want to work
for money maybe they're out and you know
their escape was they had a nephew or a
niece or a brother or a sibling or
somebody that did better than them so
for them to prove to you that they still
did their part right as to belittle that
person listen our parents are still
human beings you know we look at parents
as they know everything they're the
almighty parents make mistakes parents
don't have everything figured out
they're trying to figure it out for
themselves so I think the solution for
you to become free is you got a question
every single thing even the one that is
so core to you that you're kind of like
you want me to even question this yes
all of it here's why because here's what
happens the idea isn't to question and
change
like the idea isn't to say I question it
and they're wrong so I change everything
no if you question it
your argument and belief system in that
value or principle could actually go a
layer deeper than you currently are and
if it goes a layer deeper than you
currently are then it becomes a
conviction
and you give me anybody that leads an
army give me anybody that leads a
country give me anybody that does
anything that impacts the world their
convictions are at a higher level than
yours everybody has convictions that
they live with Ed Campbell president of
Pixar all right Pixar for God's sake I
mean Pixar
and he said to me
the
the early versions of our movies and I'm
paraphrasing of course but are all crap
and he talked about a few of my favorite
movies he said oh yeah they're all crap
we have to just toss them out and start
over and I said wait a second I
backtracked and I said
so you just mean that the movies when
they start are really rough drafts and
then you have to refine them he's like
no no that's the misconception they
think the early version of the movie is
just a rough draft of the later when
he's like no it's completely different
like we literally
scrapped it and started again from
scratch and then those starting from
scratch stories became some of their
most popular successful movies wow uh
so do you find that a lot because when I
write I I will often hit that point
where I'm like this is so bad that
trying to just continue to make it
better is the wrong idea I need to start
over and then if you can put words to
this next emotion you will be my hero
where so you get into this dark place
right the writing is not going anywhere
you're not able to get it out like for
whatever reason that concept that you
can feel in your mind you can't
articulate and get it on paper and then
you get this moment for me A lot of
times I just get angry enough that that
then becomes that like energy that I
need and you talk about you know putting
one song on repeat this I've used this
song A lot is the song faint by Linkin
Park yeah which is hyper aggressive yeah
and I'll put that on over and over and
over to like keep that like energy
because if I get angry enough at my [ __ ]
writing I get this breakthrough moment
where I can start from scratch and all
of a sudden everything is I can feel my
brain speed up
and then I can write but it took like
that however much time of getting fed up
if you can put words around that moment
uh I I well I'll put a phrase to that
moment perfect uh what makes you angry
was one of the key pieces of advice that
I was given by a writer named Poe
Bronson when I asked him what do you do
when you have writer's block he said
what makes you angry or just write that
and that was also the advice that I was
given by Whitney Cummings and a few
other stand-up comedians how do you
develop material what makes you angry
right about that so I think anger as
opposed to just labeling it a bad thing
can be very useful fuel so what makes
you angry and let's just say you're
writing about something that doesn't
require or seem to require anger well if
you're if you can't get started doesn't
matter so write about something else
write about what makes you angry and
either you'll be able to to sort of
Parry that into this other subject but
once you get going
or you'll end up writing something
completely different it'll end up better
in the first place
and what does it mean to copyright your
faults ah yeah this is a great one so
copyright your faults this is from Dan
Carlin so Dan Carlin is the host of my
favorite podcast it's just incredible
Hardcore History yes and anyone who
hasn't heard it should start with Wrath
of the cons if if you have to buy it buy
it trust me but copywriting your fault
Dan was a radio guy before he was a
podcast guy and he was constantly
getting criticized because he would he
would he would go into the red he would
he would shout and he was really loud
and he'd go up and he'd peek and drive
all the audio people crazy and then
you'd get really loud behind it and
they're just like dude come on you're
killing me here making my job really
hard and uh his supervisor supervisors
at the time they're like look kid I
what people want is this like deep
dignified baritone voice for the radio I
don't have voice for radio so I can't do
it uh but there's a guy with 100 million
downloads yeah right right exactly it's
a terrible Tim I've been meaning ah
thank you thank you it's time to do the
reveal now right uh but these that's a
whole separate story The Accidental
podcast but
later on he had such a distinctive voice
that people started complimenting him
and he's like
okay so now this this so-called weakness
that he was unable to fix so he didn't
fix it uh not only that but he he
avoided fixing it by having the intro
guys the guys would be please welcome or
please enjoy Dan Carlin and he'd say he
shouts he whispers or something like
that he had the intro guy do a caveat so
that he didn't have to change wow his
personal style which later then became
this huge asset and his term is
copyright your fault he's like now if
someone imitates me he's like that's my
jam he's like that's my stick copyright
your faults and of course there are
weaknesses you should address but then
there are flaws that can be converted
into strengths so I think that's that's
another way to catalyze creativity or
just creating anything is to realize
that some of your biggest flaws May in
fact be assets right and so that could
be a question you ask right how might
some of my biggest weaknesses be
strengths or assets I think that's a
very useful question to journal on and
which I which I tend to do
just about every morning is freehand
journaling in what are called warning
pages
but uh which okay we're talking about
creativity morning Pages we should talk
about Julia Cameron describes them as
spiritual windshield wipers and the way
I would translate that is when you do
morning pages and and you might just be
complaining like you're less herself
your worst self coming out on pages just
bitching and moaning is you get that out
of your system for the day so you don't
have it ricocheting around your head
like a stray bullet for the rest of your
waking hours interrupting everything
else you just trap it you freeze it on
paper and that practice has been
tremendously liberating not only from a
well-being standpoint but from just
freeing up my CPU so that I can focus on
things that are more important because
if I have all that like God that guy and
the dad and dad like I should have said
my like all that bouncing around all day
it's like you have antivirus software
just slowing down your phone this is so
slow it's like yeah because you're
thinking about these stupid grudges that
you're holding against
people for trivial [ __ ] like who
cares if the guy at Starbucks bought the
last thing of cashews you idiot like
Ferris deeply trouble yeah like Ferris
pulled together so
if I get it on paper though I'm like
okay I've like I've dealt with that now
in the book you encourage people to
bounce around what's one thing that you
hope nobody skips
so the book's broken into three sections
you have healthy wealthy and wise just a
nod to Ben Franklin I mean they're all
interdependent right because they're
they're sort of the three legs of the
stool healthy wealthy and wise so I
think I do think you need all three
so Derek sivers is
this like programmer Monk
philosopher king startup entrepreneur
who started CD Baby which was the
largest Marketplace for independent
musicians at the time sold it for I
think 24 million dollars but he and Seth
Godin I think are two examples of people
who
are very good at genuinely in real life
following contrarian rules that work
exceptionally well so Derek has
has a couple of one-liners that I think
are really fantastic
um so I'll give you a few one is if more
information were the answer we'd all be
billionaires with six pack abs
that's a good one right just just just
absorbing not even absorbing just
reading and watching and listening to
more
isn't
enough like you have to apply it you
have to use incentives you have to have
rewards and punishments set for yourself
so you actually get things done
timelines Etc so that's that's one
another one is uh don't be a donkey and
that so he he says that to himself all
the time like don't be a donkey don't be
a donkey and the reason is there's a I
want to say it might be a philosopher's
Paradox but I don't think it is I think
it's just a parable about burden's ass
so burden's ass it's about a donkey yeah
uh my favorite porn no that's not it's
uh it's about a dog it's about a it's
about a donkey I'm sorry too much
caffeine so uh it's about a donkey who
hat is thirsty and hungry and there's
water on one side a few feet away and
hang on the other
and he can't decide whether to do the
hay first
the hay first or the water the hay or
the water and he dies of thirst at the
end of it he couldn't do them
sequentially right so this is this is
Derek's recommendation to his younger
self and really to any 20 or 30
something but it applies to everybody
which is
in effect you can do almost everything
you want in life but you can't do it at
the same time and if you can just
dedicate yourself to one thing for even
a year and then the next thing for a
year you can do those 10 things but if
you try to do all 10 at once you're
going to be burden's ass you're gonna be
like should I do this should I do this
or should I focus on this or should I
focus on this so don't be a donkey uh
the other one that for me was so helpful
to hear is I think he calls it
it's like 95 versus 100 and he tells the
story of moving to
around Santa Monica
and his friends getting him into biking
on the bike path so up and down the
boardwalk right on the water and so
being a type A personality is a type A
personality
he would get a stopwatch he'd start it
and he'd like huff and puff and race as
hard as he could all the way down to
wherever and he would time himself and
every day no matter how hard he did it
43 minutes 43 minutes just wouldn't
improve 43 minutes and this thing that
should have been enjoyable became
painful in his mind he started to avoid
it he'd be like I have other things to
do no instead of bike riding I'll do
this other thing and he realized at one
point this is really pathetic and this
is really bad that something that should
be enjoyable I am avoiding because I've
made it so painful I said why don't I
just go for a bike ride and enjoy it so
he goes for a bike ride and it's just a
leisurely Cruise he's chilling he's
riding around and uh he's seeing
dolphins in the water he's standing up
he's looking around noticing things he
hadn't noticed before at one point this
is Derek he goes at one point I looked
up in the sky and there was a pelic in
it and I said wow a pelican and it [ __ ]
in my mouth
and I was like ah he's like he was the
best bike ride ever I was like okay so
he's having a great time uh the Pelican
[ __ ] in the mouth and notwithstanding
and he gets back and he looks at his
watch
and it was I think it was 45 minutes and
he's like wait what he's like so all
that huffing and puffing all that like
sweating like leg cramps and pain
was for an extra two minutes off the
clock
that's outrageous so he started applying
that to his entire life he's like when
it starts to get now look there are
exceptions to all this right but
he said when I start to get really
stressed out I just stop
because I realize like 95 is enough for
getting almost all the results that I
want and making it sustainable
and this comes back to the creativity
right it's like if you always try to
crank 100 you're like I need to get
2 000 awesome words out today
that's like trying to hit 43 minutes
every time and huffing and puffing and
you're going to start putting things off
oh I need another cup of coffee oh my
God my shoes are so dear dirty I need to
fix my shoes before I can go out
possibly let that stand you'll do
anything to put it off because it
becomes this intimidating task so yeah
sort of the 95 versus 100 is is another
one oh I've got another one I have to
share so this this is this is one of my
favorites so Sean White uh two things
that are very interesting about Sean
White well there are a lot of things but
he's he holds the all-time record for
medals at the X Games he has I think two
gold medals at the Olympics
and two things worth noting for him and
this comes back to the high expectations
thing okay
so
I asked him what is your self-talk when
you come out of the gate for a gold
medal run at the Olympics
what do you say to yourself and he
thought about it and uh the short
version is who cares
short version is who cares
you know this I think this is a really
big deal snowboarding going down snow on
this contraption but at the end of the
day you know I'm gonna go home I'll see
my family which he borrowed from Agassi
when Agassi sort of had his comeback uh
that was how he took the pressure off in
very very high pressure situations was
to say who cares which is effective when
you put in the training if you put in
the training you don't need to stress in
that last minute the other thing I took
away from Sean is when he has a really
serious goal
like a gold medal at Sochi or whatever
it might be he also has a completely
absurd goal to offset how
stress-inducing that can be so at one
point it was I want to wear American
flag pants on the cover of Rolling Stone
magazines like that was the other goal
uh he has some ludicrous goal to offset
the series oh that's cool so I've I've
started to try to incorporate that in my
life the third goal that you have right
now uh okay so this is this is this is
an exclusive this is breaking news here
we go uh and um we'll see where it goes
I'm a little hesitant to even even share
this but I'll give it I'll give it to
you sir I'll give it teaser which is
sufficient
uh so goal you know I want this book to
be everywhere I want
I mean I want everyone to read this it's
uh like a friend of mine said you know
I've bought four hour work week for a
few people who really need it for uh
changing chapters in their lives or
starting a company I've given for our
body to people who want to lose weight
he's like this one I would give to
everybody so like I have very big goals
for this so I have I have some other
plans which I can't go into huge detail
with right now but to create a fragrance
for men really and uh
I mean [ __ ] look at me I'm from Long
Island this is like a tuxedo for me I
don't really wear a cologne or anything
occasionally smell like I've been chased
by hyenas or something if I'm sweating a
lot but I was like how funny would it be
if I came out with like a Timbers
fragrance oh my God how amazing
hilarious would that be so uh what would
Tim Ferriss smell like oh so that that I
can't disclose but I do I do okay okay
like tequila I think it'd be like like a
rough night
give me the name yeah tequila and pine
needles it's like what happened yeah
that's Tim Ferriss a rough night that's
right and it'll be like a rough night by
Tim Ferriss you know like I want to have
like the cheesiest like
advertisements you like the the onions
dress shirt with like the fancy watch
looking like blue steel I just want to
make it as ludicrous as possible but it
will actually be if I I'm talking to
some of the best of the best people in
that world right now wow so it's like
it's like one part complete
spinal tap and then one part like
serious I actually want to make
something cool but that to me is just a
psychological release valve
so that when I'm getting really wound up
about this for whatever reason
I can think about that it just makes me
laugh my ass off then I have a two
glasses of wine I chill out so always
pairing like one serious with one absurd
goal I think is is really brilliant it's
so smart I've been I've been doing that
since he first told me about it and it's
it's really improved the quality of my
life and my results
uh because I also don't feel like I have
all my eggs in one basket I'm
diversifying my identity in a way which
I think is very important uh so all
right last question what is the impact
that you want to have on the world
the impact that I want to have on the
world right now would be
creating a benevolent Army of super
learners
who test The Impossibles and teach other
people to do the same that's it so
whether it's a hundred thousand a
million people who've mastered meta
learning acquiring skills who are also
willing to test The Impossibles test the
assumptions and have the uncomfortable
conversations that I think this country
is largely dodging
oh that gets me all excited and if
they're able to then impart that to more
people
my goal is to make me
obsolete as quickly as possible right
it's like I think the goal of any really
good personal trainer should be to make
themselves obsolete not necessary as
quickly as possible so that's
that's my goal
and facing even more than I'll say
figuring it out facing
what you've done wrong owning it
accepting it allows you to not make that
mistake the next time