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Language: en
to you are perfect as you exist right
now but that version of you isn't
sufficient next year you got to be crazy
hungry crisis to get to that next
version of you I want the data I want
the input I want the information I want
the feedback to get to the next version
of me regardless of how it emotionally
makes me feel I'm like driven by that
without that information why am I living
walk me through your your baseball
career ends I know that your dad and you
were now you said he's your best friend
that's my best friend growing up
alcoholic father correct you said I
think you were 14 or 15. that's right
and then they're introducing you
constantly as the shy kid who plays
baseball baseball Falls away and now
it's like how do you get out from under
well I'm the son of uh you know somebody
that struggled with drugs and alcohol
I'm the kid who was supposed to be great
at baseball now that's gone like how do
you get out from under the weight of
that yeah it is weight too
um when I was small
um I was also really undersized so
probably one of the reasons I lift
weights I was always every baseball
picture on the kid holding a sign in the
front right so I was small and skinny
they used to tease me Eddie spaghetti
you know and I'd get bullied at school
and I never retaliated so I had that
mixed with shyness mixed with chaos in
my home which many people can relate to
and I gotta tell you that the shift for
me Sports was good for me because it
gave me an out that I finally found
something that I was pretty good at I
think the biggest shift in our lives the
things that makes us the happiest is
that when somebody helps us identify our
natural giftedness
and when I was a little boy I got a
little bit older they pointed out my
speed
so it wasn't my lack of size I was fast
I was the fast kid right I always wanted
to be fast kid and I got confidence in
baseball doing that when I got into
business I said you know you're intense
when someone points out a gift about you
that you also kind of intuitively know
to be true
they're linked to them you're intense
you're passionate you won't get out work
you're Relentless I went I am those
things and when someone linked those
gifts to me winning now I believed I
could win that's the other way to change
identity is when someone can link your
giftedness to the victory you'll believe
it not like you're great that's General
that's but it's something you
know specific like for you right now you
wouldn't brag about there's a few things
you know you know what I am good at
these things right I've always been good
at these things it's natural for me and
when someone links that to you winning
like for you for example you're an
unbelievable interviewer you have this
General you you don't need to be the
smartest person in the room because you
probably are most of the time and so
there's a confidence no there's a
confidence that allows you to be present
when you interview me and just listen
that's different than anyone who's
interviewed me before and so that's a
natural giftedness for you which is why
there's a part of you that kind of knows
I am pretty you wouldn't say it but I am
pretty good at this this is a good
program and so the way we change your
identity the way I changed mine was by
getting in touch with what some of my
natural gifts were and and using them in
my career using them in my life that
shifted the weight right off of me
because the weight was I suck I'm shy
I'm small I have a screwed up family
that's the weight right the lifting off
of the weight is these are some gifts
God gave me or the universe gave me or
that at least I know I have and I can
spend my life using these gifts now I've
got hope now my identity is changing now
my life takes a different direction
it's amazing one thing that you have
talked about and this is I think the
thing about your Notions on identity
that I find really incredible is that in
the early days of you building your
business you said and I quote I was a
dick yeah
um but you were open to hearing that
most people can't hear that so that's a
moment where you accept that your
identity is something that you're not
proud of how do you make that change how
do you go in a New Direction where
somebody instead of pointing out
something beautiful they're pointing out
something ugly yeah aren't most of the
friends that you Revere the most the
most willing to take coaching from you
100 me too and so I I can't tell you why
I'm this way but I do believe it was
baseball I never took it personally when
a coach said you're dropping your
shoulder in other words because of
Athletics when a guy said spread your
right leg out your legs are too close
together I never thought I suck I can't
hit I wanted to know how to hit better I
wanted to know how to throw better and
so for me personally I'm constantly in a
crisis to get to the next version of me
it's not like I'd like to I wish I only
would like to I probably have a little
bit more peace in my life I am in a
crisis to get the next version of me and
so the guy sitting in front of you right
now if I come back in a year and I'm
just the same exact person with the same
thoughts same ideas same ways of
delivering them this was a wasted year
of my life right so I want to know how
to get to that next version of me and so
for those of you that struggle with
taking criticism you got to ask yourself
how important is it to you to grow
because you were put on Earth to grow to
contribute to serve to help you were in
your way and the current version of you
is perfect as it stands right now but it
will be inferior next year you're
perfect as you are now especially you
ladies listening to this there's all
this messaging you're not this you're
not smart enough women are too dominant
then they're a diva right or you're not
beautiful enough ladies menu two you are
perfect as you exist right now but that
version of you isn't sufficient next
year you got to be crazy hungry crisis
to get to that next version of you I
want the data I want the input I want
the information I want the feedback to
get to the next version of me regardless
of how it emotionally makes me feel I'm
like driven by that without that
information why am I living
dude right that whole concept like when
people really ask how I've been able to
be successful it's that it's I'm stoked
on who I am today 100 like I'll give
myself the pat on the back before
anybody else but I'm so desperate to get
better yeah like I'm so hungry to know
why I'm inadequate right now for what I
want right correct so the way that I sum
it up is your past can never be bigger
than your future so it's like once
you've done some right I built a billion
dollar business but like for me I'm not
looking at that I want to know what do I
need to do and become in order to hit
that next thing that not only are all
Achievers doing that but all happy
people do that in other words here's how
we know you're perfect now you've
produced the external life you have so
you are perfect for that life right now
you are all you need to be right now but
if you want a different life an improved
life a growing life right an increase
life this version of you is inferior to
get to that place and so the reason we
have Rapport the reason we like it shows
like I also want to be surrounded by
people who are not messaging me is
enough enough everything's good man take
a break and I may not want more money
you and I both have a lot of money right
we'd probably like more but it's not my
driver I want more peace more gratitude
more abundance more contribution more
memories more experiences more joy more
love that will never be enough for me
put me in the ground if I don't get any
more of that stuff right I want to grow
I want to see the next place and so
that's the journey those of you that
have faith if you believe there's this
place you're going to someday that's
because you're always going someplace so
you might as well want to get the
information the equipment to get there
and that's that's where I want to go I
love that how do you keep your standards
so high and then how do you push them
even higher the next year uh I'm really
lazy so if you lift up the answer I know
and then so I want to give you the
honest one like like left to my own
devices right if you just left me like
what I'd like to do I hey man I have no
problem laying around
um I like sleeping like people think
they meet people like you know they're
like they're robots they're other life
forms they're just different than me no
we build habits rituals and disciplines
that serve us okay now part of those
habits rituals and disciplines have sort
of turned me into a more confident
person there's no question about that so
my standards are mandatory because you
get your standards right and so the
reason my standards are set so high is
because I don't want to leave it up to
my own devices right my standard is one
more minute on the treadmill my standard
is one more person I can reach that day
one more phone call one more something
and so for me I raise them every single
year but the way I get to do it is I
link it to my reasons and so goals are
really empty to me I have a thing on
goal setting but like my big thing is
that you show me someone with compelling
emotional gigantic reasons I'll show you
someone who's changing their standards
all day long so like give you one quick
version that you not heard before one of
the reasons I'm relatively fit is not
just Peak state
I have an uncle in my family that died
at 50 years old of a heart attack is my
godfather my dad's only brother I kind
of resembled him
and I look like them a lot so on the way
back from his funeral my reticular
activator is on heart attacks on the TV
screen on the airplane I'm listening to
music is the Oprah Winfrey Show she's
going through a new heart scan
I've unplugged my headphones plug it
into the airplane one there's some of
this new scan at Cedar cyanide that at
that time was new it could read the
plaques in your arteries the
calcifications without going you know
really invasively I scheduled it I went
in I had a world-class Doctor Who
understood reasons and leverage instead
of just prescribing because when we
coach people you need to do this you
need to do this doctors do it take this
pill take this
he understood leverage and reasons what
you do is you take the scan then you go
to lunch you come back I took the scan I
went to lunch I had a burrito I came
back and I'm in the when I walk in I sit
down the doctor comes up and he says
oh my
I can't believe these arteries are in
that young body
got my attention we walk back in we sit
down he could still go you need Crestor
eat clean get out of here is that what
an average doctor does right no wired me
with huge reasons he goes let me ask you
a question I heard your wife's pregnant
you have I said I have a son and he says
do you want to be there when he
graduates from high school to be there
for that day I said yes sir yeah he goes
your wife's pregnant what do you have
and I said a daughter this is where you
get a dad he goes but she was six months
pregnant he goes do you um would you
like to walk her down the aisle on her
wedding day or are you okay that it's
some other man
I went what the is on this scan
right like and he goes I want to be very
clear with you if you keep going down
the road you're going there'll be some
other man with your son at graduation
high school and a stranger's walking
your daughter down the aisle it's not
even born yet on her wedding day and I
went boom and he goes but if you do
exactly what I tell you to do
you'll be there and so to this day
brother there are mornings when I wake
up not every morning I don't want to go
to the gym I go to Bella's wedding
Bella's wedding Bella's wedding so my
standards are high because of my big old
reasons other dudes may miss the gym
that day because they're not going to
miss their daughter's wedding if they
don't go but I've convinced myself I get
emotional I've convinced myself I'll
miss my daughter's wedding so I will get
my ass out of bed at four o'clock in the
morning and I will get to that gym
because my reasons are bigger so my
standards are higher so that's what I
think causes us to have great standards
as huge reasons
when you're working with people that are
just at an elite level how do you help
them find those reasons and attach
something to it so there's two
motivators in life you really want to
move somebody someone's childhood and
their death and then in between other
people and so most people if you start
talking to them will tell you about
their childhood because that impact and
they are constantly in the back of our
minds all the time we're thinking about
death
it's this thing we know that's coming
for us the end of our life and what
inspires us is really what I said we all
want to be that version we just don't
allow ourselves to feel the emotion of
it so the more you can bring it closer
to you the better so I do that with them
I link their big reasons to what they
want and it opens up a completely
different level for what they want you
start talking to an athlete about hey
you want to hit 30 home runs this year
that's one thing but you start talking
about how'd you like to have your mom
there when you give your Hall of Fame
speech
I just interviewed T.O and Marshall
Faulk both Marshall's in the Hall of
Fame and teo's going in and to watch
Tio's face start to talk about how his
grandmother won't be there who raised
him in the Hall of Fame that was his
motivation you asked him his whole
motivation to play football grandma
not not Hall of Fame not you know Pro
Bowl's Grandma it's always people that
will link these achievements to so
that's how I get them to believe it or
not even athletes I get them talking to
me about the people and dreams they have
then we link their goals to them that's
amazing tell me about the time where you
were trying to give a speech and you
were so freaked out that your vision was
blurring and you couldn't even read what
was on your card because honestly like
if I hadn't heard you tell that story I
would just assume you're really good at
this by Nature because you're so good at
this like you're so good and
communicating is crazy and I've seen you
in front of like 50 000 people's bananas
right so how did you start from like
just absolutely being paralyzed by fear
like what was that process oh my gosh so
but you really do your research yeah my
first time I talked I literally went up
and blanked out like I literally could
not think I could not see the card how I
fixed it speaking was overtime but I'll
give you a couple of key things on
speaking for everybody one I had to I
had to figure out you know what someone
said because you love baseball you don't
stutter when you talk about baseball you
don't get insecure I go well I love that
and I believe in it they're like oh you
don't you know you talk about your kids
you're great I thought oh there's a
correlation here between me actually
saying what I believe and what I'm
passionate about and my ability to
communicate it and so now my first layer
is always I must be passionate about it
and I must believe it and I'm never
doing an impression of another person so
I always come from a place of saying
what I really believe because you can't
transfer to somebody that which you
don't experience yourself I can give you
passion I can give you energy I can give
you my belief if I'm experiencing it big
key as a speaker I'll give everybody
stop trying to convince everybody of
what you're saying
that's not the threshold of being a good
communicator people do not need to
believe what you're saying they need to
believe you believe what you're saying
and as long as they believe you believe
what you're saying you're an effective
speaker I stopped trying to get people
to believe me there's a neediness
there's a salesmanship to that I stopped
that it's a subtle difference I just
want you to believe I believe it that's
influence influences you believe I
believe it
wow yeah that's uh that that's a pretty
intense Evolution for or just that one
moment that I'd really love to get some
color on and maybe this just comes down
to what your reasons were
after that first attempt which had to
have like just been searing into your
mind anxiety about speaking horrific how
did you get up the second time yeah same
room same people that helped for me
um but I figured out I didn't have any
preparation so my confidence when I
speak now just like this interview the
amount of preparation you've done for
this is it is more than anyone who's
interviewed me right and so me the
separation is in the preparation like I
have to be prepared I have to know what
I'm going to talk about and so that
second time I I knew every single thing
I was going to say I didn't do great but
I did what I said I was going to do I
got up and I did it I got up and I
delivered and I'll just be candid with
you I liked the feeling eventually
that I affected somebody
I like the feeling that you know maybe
the first time I spoke I I didn't affect
anybody that second time maybe there
were 40 people and maybe one person I
helped and I had this very weird
capacity now to focus on the ones I help
I I actually Focus if I speak to 50 000
people there's got to be 3 000 people
there who think I suck there has to be
there's at least 30. right there's
somewhere and if I obsessed over those
30 people that's what made me nervous I
was obsessed with just basically
reaching somebody so the irony was the
beginning of my speaking career it was
my anxiety and fear of it that was what
was inspiring about me not the words I
said over time I think the words became
more inspiring but I found what was
inspiring about me what put them in
spirit and it was overcoming my anxiety
and fear of actually doing what they saw
I was at the gym yesterday and a woman
drove by me in a wheelchair at the gym I
was working out pretty hard and she
wheeled by me heavyset lady in a
wheelchair
I'll be honest with you I watched her
wheel past me she she inspired me do you
know what courage it takes to get in
your wheelchair and decide I'm gonna go
to the gym right I'm going to go to the
gym she's heavy set awkward that
inspired me far more than the jacked up
dude doing 60 pound curls I mean that's
inspiring but you see that
a woman in a wheelchair at a gym with
her two pound dumbbells because her legs
don't work but she went in there anyway
and you know how unsecure she was about
going in there she's the only person in
a wheelchair she doesn't know what she's
going to see how people are going to
react to her she's not in shape she's
never full makeup on and her little you
know halter top like the other girls in
there and she's right in there
she was right in there working out right
next to them right I couldn't take my
eyes off her I couldn't take my eyes off
her and I ended up telling her that she
was leaving I left what I was doing I
walked over I said I just want you to
know something you're inspiring me this
is wonderful her face just lit up
because you know how sad she how
insecure she was about being in there
most inspiring person is the one
overcoming the fear of doing something
not the person who's excellent at it so
yeah dude I love that way way love that
um this is a little bit different but
something you were saying a minute ago
reminded me of your whole notion of
you've got to step into the dream you've
got to touch the dream
um I love that I think that's so
powerful and so very dude I was so moved
by your whole pointing at the cliff with
your then girlfriend now wife you're
saying like one day we're gonna live
there because my wife and I used to
drive around this neighborhood and say
like one day and dude I have the chills
again when you said your obsessions
become your possessions like that is
literally like that thing you really
think about and focus on what do you
mean by stepping into the dream and how
how can it serve people that's wonderful
by the way you picked a really good
place to step into thank you um I got to
tell you that um your mind gravitates
towards which it is most familiar with
and so if you're really familiar with
what you're worried about and what your
problems are and your fears are and that
becomes your dominating thinking I know
you've all heard this but here's the
reason why your mind loves what's
familiar okay and so if you don't go
touch dreams for example just experience
it for a second for example we would go
down once every eight weeks if I did
well in business we really knocked it
out we could find a deal I had 200 bucks
we'd go to the Ritz Carlton or some
Hotel Ocean and for one day Oceanfront
feel like what it felt like to valet
your car right walk in the lobby Mr
mylette welcome back right she'd go get
a massage I'd play a little bit of golf
and just for that day I touch the dream
and then maybe we do it again in a month
or two and again in a month just little
taste of it my mind began to begin to
become familiar with it and more crazy I
started to kind of trick myself into
thinking I belonged there
because we never end up anywhere we
don't believe we don't belong and that
we're not familiar with so there's these
things you'd like to do in your life
either visually seeing them over and
over again or repeating those images to
yourself that's powerful but a double
whammy is to not only repeat them and
see them but to go see there's one thing
that's a visual stimulus in your brain
that makes you want to do something the
triple whammys if you could see it touch
it feel it and smell it if you allow all
your senses to experience something it
becomes far more familiar to your brain
and so I'm a massive massive advocate of
touching a dream in any form you can get
at the best of which is actually going
and experiencing it short term do you
believe begin to believe you belong
there you're a little bit better and so
I you will not probably produce many
things in your life that you've not
visited either mentally or literally
thousands of times and so if you want to
end up somewhere you better be visiting
them those could be dreams Visions but
the most important thing is if you could
actually more powerful you could go
touch them short term massive difference
Drive by The Neighborhood see the cars
if you want to spend your life in
service for your church or your
community take a day out every month and
actually do it know what it feels like
for an afternoon to feed the Homeless or
to do and you begin to love it and feel
it and believe you belong there more and
more chance that you'll be able to do
that full time someday
so if the one is bringing this new way
of thinking if the person that thinks
they are the most disqualified is able
to channel that and make somebody's life
better how do they turn that into like
something concrete that they can
articulate how do they turn it into a
habit like what is that process of going
from you know Neo waking up and
realizing that he can do something to
actually dodging bullets I think one of
the things is the way that we approach
time this is something that almost no
one talks about anymore so I feel like
you may be behind
you may actually be behind your destiny
right now like maybe you're not on Pace
in fact I think most people watching
this listening will say I am behind on
achieving my destiny I'm not exactly
sure what it is but I feel like it's
slipping I feel like I'm behind so you
better figure out time differently and
you can bend and manipulate time to your
advantage the most stupid Antiquated
ridiculous concept on planet Earth today
very very well maybe that a day is 24
hours
it's so stupid it's the dumbest thing
ever 24-hour days were contrived when
there were no cars there was no
electricity if I wanted to get you a
message I had to write something down if
I could send it on a horseback hope you
get it that's insane never mind the
internet so it used to take hours days
weeks months years to do can be done now
in a millisecond in the internet or on
our smartphones yet we measure the time
the same way that guy did that's bananas
that is so stupid yet everybody does it
and so I about 25 years ago went I'm not
the most talented I'm not the smartest
and I'm really not and you've had guests
on your show with IQs maybe a hundred
points higher than mine this is the
truth I know a couple of them I had them
on my show how in the world I don't come
from you know a whole track record of
success right I don't have the perfect
upbringing how in the world am I going
to win I got to do things other people
aren't willing to do which I'm doing
that's the one Moore's and I gotta fix
the way I look at time what would I need
to believe about time
what would I need to believe what would
the question be and so my days now are
from 6 a.m to noon that's a day it's six
hours and in that day some days you just
chill but in that day I'm gonna get the
amount of productivity Faith working out
fitness money business you name it in
that day we've all had a morning where
we go I got more done this morning I
have in weeks well why can't you do that
every morning so I measure time I've
compressed and condensed time I bent it
what is up my friend Tom bilyu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
all right I've just released a class
from Impact Theory university called how
to build Ironclad discipline that
teaches you the process of building
yourself up in this area so that you can
push yourself to do the hard things the
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
my day is 6 a.m to noon and I'm not
crazy you're crazy for thinking it takes
24 hours just like some dude in a cave
did 300 years ago that's bananas that
you still think that way and it's unfair
that people have taught you this my
second day starts at noon and goes till
6 p.m that's day two but with the cool
thing is at the end of day one this
clock goes off about noon every day bro
and goes what did I just get done what
didn't I do what do I need to be
accountable for what do I need to double
my efforts just like you do at the end
of most days right and then the next day
is 6 p.m to midnight and some of those
are just fun days Sundays I chill right
but some days they're really super
productive what I've done now is I have
changed a manipulated time I now get 21
days a week stack that up over a month
I'm gonna kick your butt stack it up
over a year your toast stack it up over
five years my entire life is different
than it would have been otherwise and if
you do this for about 90 of your
traditional days that you think are you
will come back to me and go that
profoundly impacted my life and here's
the other thing that happens the world
responds to you differently when you
value your time like that what is
precious is valuable that's why I
diamond or this watch is way more
expensive than the piece of paper that's
written down there because it's more
scarce when your time when you interact
with the world is slightly more scarce
they respond to you as if you're more
valuable
so you get more accountability more
productivity more fun more joy and the
world flips its response to you all of a
sudden you become more valuable and
precious to people when your time is
different and you'll get thousands more
days in your life and live a much more
Blissful and happy life than the person
only gets 24 hours yeah so this is a
concept that I really hope people take
seriously so I'm often asked like how
frequently I evaluate my progress and
I'm like that's probably about every
three hours and I think people are
surprised to hear that it's not daily
it's not weekly certainly not monthly or
yearly it's like I'm constantly okay was
I productive in this period of time yes
in the book you reference it if I
remember correctly as like squeezing the
air out of all those gaps where most
people like okay if you know if I get
this done in my day then I'm fine and if
you took that and made your day those
six hours suddenly it's like okay I need
to be really efficient what if you took
that day Tom and then combined it with
the power of doing one more that mindset
and then chasing inconvenient things on
top of it in those days and on top of
that sprinkle the little self-love to
make sure I love little reticular
activating system where we're doing
repeated visualizations where we're
finding the things in those days that we
need to be able to find oh
you may just change your life you know I
know exactly what happens in you liking
this to Kobe Bryant and walk people
through like so what Tim Grover has said
about like his work ethic and extra
practices and stuff because it's like I
don't know how many times the successful
people have to say the same things yeah
for people to get like okay cool I get
where this is going yo one really simple
thing is this you need to get in a
bigger hurry I could just distill it
down to something simple you need to get
in a bigger hurry you're too casual
you're too slow you walk too slow you
talk too slow you think in terms of too
much time and if you would just speed up
the pace man like you know this when
you're around someone like Kobe or
Grover or you or anyone that kind of
vibrates at a frequency that feels like
success energy it's faster they don't
have to talk faster many of our most
favorite people talk much slower than
you and I do but they're just in a
little bit of a bigger hurry I'll give
you a Kobe thing that's not in the book
though that just for me and you and
everyone gets to listen
Kobe was scheduled to do my show six
days after he passed oh God and deeper
than that I was with Kobe the week
before he passed away let me tell you
the story about this because I think
it's pretty profound about the one Moors
been a volleyball tournament our
daughters played volleyball together and
um
it's if you have a kid who plays
volleyball you all are going yep I get
what that is these are long days and
noisy days so this thing starts about 8
A.M all the dads are there the last
match was 10 p.m oh God yeah dude and
I'm the last dad in there except this
other guy in a black sweatsuit with
white stripes on it
when he's about six six and it's Kobe
and we've been around each other many
times at these tournaments we're the
last of the Two Dads left
and so the tournament ends his match was
on a different end of the Court than my
daughters was something happened I have
no idea why I did this brother I watched
him this day
and I was on the other end and I watched
him he had his baby in his left arm his
little one
and he's rubbing the back of his
daughter that was playing
and literally I went I don't hug Bella
enough
how affectionate he is it just stood out
to me and because it stood out to me his
outward affection I watched him bro and
I watched Kobe walk out of the gym that
day with this baby and his arm around
his other one and I watched him walk out
and he obviously stood out because he
was so tall and I can picture him right
now Tom walking out of that door
for the last time
six days later he died and I wonder see
if you want to know the power of one
more
it's when I take it from you and you
can't have it anymore
I wonder if someone would have whisper
Kobe when he got in the car the day
six more days
how would that week maybe have been
different for him what would he have
said who would he have loved who would
he have reached out to what would have
mattered to him
about the Saturday before Kobe
[Applause]
he's getting on that helicopter call me
see it hits us when I say that
and
there's a whisper happening that you
can't hear
duh eight more years 18 more whatever it
is there's a whisper
we forget
we're gonna die
Napoleon Hill says begin with the end in
mind what if you did that with your life
what if you began with the end of your
life and mine and worked it backwards
bro my favorite thing in the world was
to golf with my dad my favorite thing
man we're both no good at golf
it was my hero in a golf cart with me
for five hours a foot away and the
conversations
watch my dad walk a cut do you know what
I would do bro for one more round of
golf with my dad one more time hey Dad
good putt yeah that was a good one
wasn't it he put his arm on me high five
you know what I would do for that
what would you how would you act
if you started to think about all the
elements of your life like Kobe's last
six days Kobe's one more day Kobe's one
more hour me getting that back with my
dad what if you started to look at the
relationships you have in your life like
it was the last time you had a
conversation with him the last time you
get to hold Lisa's hand and Jesus look
in your eyes yeah right but how much
more precious has she become maybe it's
the last podcast the last interview how
much more precious would it be how much
more engaged could we engaged as we are
that next meeting that conversation with
is it Gerson over here right the
conversation with him man see when we
begin to distill downs and we realize
yeah there's a power to one more because
they're not promised how many we have
and so that day with Kobe just it just
burned it into my soul man when I
watched him and then to see six days
later he was gone
that time with his family was so
precious and so I would just challenge
everybody if you want to know the power
of one more it's when I take it from you
and there's a power and there's a
blessing that you get one more in your
life you're going to get another chance
to talk to Lisa you're going to get
another great dinner with her you're
going to get another show those
listeners have another day to change
their life they have another opportunity
to do one more they have another
opportunity to make their family proud
of them they still have more time they
don't just have one more day probably to
be the one in their family life is
beautiful it's precious and sometimes we
only have an appreciation for it in its
absence sometimes we only have an
appreciation for the power of the one
Moors or the people in our lives when we
imagine their absence
and so I would just ask everybody to
consider that the thing about work is
that I think you should enjoy your work
I think there's a part of that but I
think it's I agree aggressively with
that yeah I think it's this notion that
everything is separate
what do you mean well like I think
people ask me all the time about well
you know I feel like man if I'm crushing
it at work that uh I'm not going to be
as good a dad or if I'm really a great
dad my body is going to suffer and
there's this limited scarcity idea that
somehow that there's a finite amount of
it to have I just don't buy into that at
all in fact I've found in my life that
when I'm crushing out of work
man I'm a lot better in the gym when I'm
crushing in the gym or work I'm a better
dad I come home pumped I come home
engaged I come home excited I'm not
saying there's not fatigue but when I'm
not crushing it at work
what am I not bringing to bear in my
family in terms of energy ideas my
vibrational frequency my ability to give
out information and love I'm cheating my
family when I'm not working and
conversely I think I Rob my work when
I'm not engaged with my family people
ask me well what is changing you I was a
little bit more of an angry intense dude
before I had kids and for me in my case
having children cause me to pause in the
way I speak to people sometimes I'm
ashamed when I was younger of ways I
spoke to people had someone talked to my
son or daughter the way that I used to
talk to people so me crushing it as a
dad has made me a better businessman me
crushing in his business is certain
driving out here my my daughter said to
me driving out she goes Daddy I'm taking
the real estate exam today she's 18.
she's going to college I'm taking the
real estate exam today and the life
insurance exam on Monday and I'm
thinking that's wonderful plus she's got
finals for school right but what
impressed me about that was that hey
that means my work has transferred over
into me as a father so these things are
inner interconnected in life when you
decide not to work and you think that's
going to make you better at home or
better in others of your life you're
absolutely wrong you're a whole person
and growing the wholeness of you matters
and that's why there's such value and
work work meaning work is not always
just labor work is expansion of oneself
and that's why you're robbing yourself
yeah I also think there's something to
just taking a cynical eye to the world
and feeling like oh if I'm really giving
my everything then somebody is taking
advantage of me my thing is like
if I were working for somebody else when
in fact when I did work for somebody
else in my early 20s I was completely
cynical I was like oh I'm being taken
advantage of and like this is terrible
I'm not getting paid what I'm owed and
then I discovered work ethic and how far
I could push myself and I discovered one
immutable truth I could get so good that
people would be terrified to lose me
there you go and in fact Kobe has a
quote it's even better which is booze
don't block dunks you can get so good
people can't stop you the greatest
players in the world in fact Scouts were
paid an obscene amount of money to go
around the entire Globe to find people
that they could pay millions of dollars
to to stop Kobe Bryant from scoring a
basket during a game and despite the
best athletes on planet Earth getting
paid millions of dollars to stop him he
once scored 81 points in a single game
yeah and so my thing is like who are you
pushing back on you can get so good at
something people can't stop you I told
my kids all the time I say greatness
Rises greatness is eventually found uh I
won't say who it is but I have a
relative it's like hey the coach is
discriminating against me man he's got
he really favors these other guys and I
said to him the other day ago no he's
not he's not greatness Rises he wants to
win basketball games or he wants to win
baseball games or he wants to win this
the fact of the matter is get great at
something there's such a
there's such a wonderful feeling of
being great at what one does yes that if
I what a terrible way it would be to get
through this Earth have your whole
journey through this Earth and never get
great never get great at what you're
capable of being great at and I would
encourage everybody to pursue that
that's why they listen to your show
watch your show it's why they listen to
mines why they read our books because
this pursuit of greatness we do we have
started to create a culture that
I think has an ill-gotten eye towards
success towards progress and maybe some
of that's earned you know maybe some of
the examples in the world about what
financial success looks like hasn't been
the most elegant or beautiful examples
of it but the fact of the matter is that
my experience with successful people
whether that's Financial or not I
believe successful people in their work
are happier people just overall whether
that's my sister who's a school people
ask me the time who's one of the most
successful people you know my sister
because I think success is that when
your external life matches your vision
for it whatever that is you have a
vision for your life and you produce it
my sister is blind
right she was born a diabetic she's born
a diabetic you're so you're so connected
and she's a school teacher Christian
School teacher she's amazing at it why
she's in the service of other people
that's the blueprint for her life and
she's using her giftedness in the
service of these people she's kind she's
a great teacher she's patient she's 411.
she's the same height as the students
wow see her giftedness is just perfect
for what she does she feels to deal with
because I have to imagine students use
the blindness to mess around or whatever
she knows they're doing it that could be
it would be very easy to feel victimized
how does she deal with that well because
by the way my sister could see some
things she just can't drive she can't
she she sees shadows and whatnot too my
sister though and here's the other thing
imagine being able that you used to be
able to see and you've lost it I think
it's wanting to be born blind it's
another thing that you had sight I mean
it's an average person just you've been
able to see and you close your eyes even
for 10 minutes and be able to imagine
not able to see it's a really traumatic
experience
what my sister does it's really
interesting she uses humor really really
well so she takes it from you before you
can give it to her
and when someone is self-deprecating
self-deprecation is a great form to
defuse hate to defuse pain and so she's
learned to really use humor about it and
almost poke fun at herself to where the
students don't do that and you do it
very well by the way you're
self-deprecating all the time be easy
for you to kind of you know your homes
your success your show your wealth your
intellect is extremely high you are very
self-deprecating dude so that it allows
you to navigate and operate without the
resistance that you would get if you
didn't have it and so a lot of you that
are receiving that you know
self-deprecation is something to look
into just poke fun at yourself take
yourself lightly don't take yourself too
seriously it's how I avoided getting
beaten up as a kid I believe it yeah I
believe that was humor was my best
defense I could see that yeah yeah it's
interesting so all right so you can get
so good at something you can push
yourself you want your outside life to
match the internal Vision I want to in
the book you go into like how people can
build these habits so that they can get
that life there are people watching
right now they have the dream but they
don't know how to get that life like
what what are the secret things that you
do to actually build the skill set you
need to achieve the skill set stuff is
Habitual so there's a bunch of things I
talk about in the book but I think one
thing that I just really believe that
when you have a worth level or a
confidence level that you can achieve
something you're far more resilient than
when you don't have that
there's all these tools on confidence
that everybody teaches right but I had a
really profound experience when I was
young that changed my life and and I've
never linked my ability to build a habit
or my confidence to my skill just stay
with me even though I built great skills
I won a contest in Hawaii I'm 28 I'm
running down the beach in Maui running
the other way and that is why you get
rewarded for getting up before the sun
running the other ways is bold kind of
can see he's got a hairy back he's
sweating he's running towards me
and he's wearing a Sony walk man I'm
wearing one too that's how long ago it
was so we're listening to cassette tapes
we'll be running right and so he runs
behind me and it's Dr Wayne Dyer whoa
who's a hero of mine and I said Dr Dyer
you changed my life
and he turns around he's a deep voice
like I do he goes well I highly doubt
that he goes I'm sure you changed your
life but what did I do to help you and
he walks towards me and we sit down on
this beach together and for 90 minutes I
watched the sun come up with Wayne Dyer
and he gets to know me and he pouring
into me and at the end he goes Ed You're
Gonna Change the World
how old are you at this one 28. wow he
probably said this to some other people
right and he goes I just think you're
brilliant the way you can articulate
your thoughts your viewpoint on personal
development changing oneself your
experience with your dad You're Gonna
Change the World and he goes and that's
not why
and he goes it'll be very dangerous for
you to attach yourself to your abilities
the rest of your life Wow
and I said I don't understand like if I
can't close or persuade I can't close a
sale no no I want you to have all those
things but if you attach your identity
or Worth to the external
fleeting that's why so many pro athletes
when their career is over they don't
know who they are and I said well then
what do I do and he goes what's
beautiful about you Ed is your
intentions
you have beautiful intent
and I knew that about myself it was my
intentions of what I didn't know is he
was writing a book at the time called
The Power of intentions and he goes
would you please please because you you
have the talents would you please attach
your confidence and your worth and your
identity to your intention when you walk
into a stressful environment remind
yourself that you intend to serve you
intend to give because you may lack the
ability sometimes that you may lack the
answer sometimes but you'll never lack
the intent and that intent will put you
in a state where you can find the
answers brother all my life most of my
confidence has come from driving here
today
I just intend to help people I intend to
make a difference I don't like that I
don't need to be here I'm rich already
forget all that stuff my intentions are
to help people if we're getting my
current status one way or the other and
so I would recommend everybody to take a
real look inside you what are your
intentions your intentions to make a
difference your intentions to love
people your intentions to serve people
it's your intent to serve your family
it's your intent to make a difference if
that's the foundation for your worth
and your self-confidence you'll never
have to chase it again if it's something
aside from your skill I got to get a
talent I gotta get this you'll be
chasing it all of your life now having
said that I have a chapter on habits and
how to develop them and how to create a
trigger and how to create the the
behavior and then have a reward when you
do it so habits are created by triggers
then there's the behavior then there's
the reward and I talk about how to build
those habits but all of that is is
really not very productive if you don't
have some internal knowing that you
deserve to be successful that there's a
worth to you that a confidence that
exudes from you and I don't think that's
where my sister and I are that
dissimilar externally we're very
different people right different careers
different paths but I think my sister
maybe it's even unconscious doesn't even
do it intentionally no pun intended she
knows she intends to serve those
precious children every single day so
she walks in there with a confidence
that's bigger than her lack of vision
her lack of able to see and I think
these students sense this beautiful
intent on this woman and because she's
self-deprecating she has this
overwhelming intent to serve there's not
a lot of backlash you're poking fun at
her and I in my life I haven't had a lot
of that to be honest with you I've had
far less resistance from other people
because I carry my intent with me
everywhere I go
talk to me about State change so you
mentioned like you're going into a
stressful event to remind yourself that
you're there to serve and it it does
switch something pretty profoundly
what is a state change how do you do it
why does it matter State change is the
definition of everything that I do so
what I do when I'm in a good State when
I'm in that move and state whether I'm
training and working out or I've crushed
a podcast or I've crushed a show
I create a physical anchor so I link the
emotional state to the Anchor emotional
state to the Anchor could be you can tug
on your shirt you could pull on your
right ear you can snap your you've
noticed probably 20 times through this
interview I snap my finger I associate
you with the finger snap more than you
could ever possibly imagine and so for
me that's the juice and so when you get
to a peak State link it to something
physical the more repetitive it is and
the higher the emotional state that's
why for example you have them in Reverse
if you've ever walked into a room where
something bad's happened or hear a song
or something it immediately creates a
trigger for you because the emotional
experience was so high first time you
did the naughty naughty thing if there
was a song playing and that song comes
back on you go right back to that place
don't you so there's an emotional
heightened State and then something
physical that happens and so in my case
when it's going really good and I'm
pumped and everything's great I link it
I link it I link it I link it and so now
then you can reverse it back where that
trigger creates that state this is
really not that complicated I go into it
in the book it's amazing to me that we
all have all these unconscious triggers
in our life whether it is a song or a
room or a person or a memory or whatever
and yet we don't ever take control of
them we know they happen because they
happen to us all the time so all I've
done in my life is decide okay if that's
the case I'm going to create a few that
serve me and by the way the ones that
you can already hear my energy just went
up the reason it serves me is it can
override the negative State it's my
pathway out of the dark space it's my
pathway out of fatigue i