Kind: captions
Language: en
let us dive into the very first question
this one comes from Louie Christine
iming this is from the connect inbox do
you follow any morning routine if so
what does your morning routine look like
and what is your thought process behind
doing each of these
actions okay here it goes first of all
your morning routine starts the night
before so go to bed early now I used to
say that like a religion I was in bed by
9:00 p.m. but now uh my schedule has
gotten a little out of whack we've got a
new piece of content um called real
impact by the way for anybody that's
into film and TV and the mindset that
you can glean from that you can go to uh
youtube.com impact Theory Studios and
check that out but that routinely now
has me seeing movies at far past my
bedtime uh but I try to go to bed as
close to 9: as humanly possible every
night save for the
weekends and in that I sleep without an
alarm so I wake up when I wake up the
reason that I do that is because I want
to get as much sleep as I need so I'm
all about cognitive optimization so uh
I'm not somebody who sets the alarm to
make sure that I'm up at 4 in the
morning but when I wake up at 4 in the
morning I'm a very happy camper um I
usually get it used to be between 5 and
6 I'm now getting between 7 and 8 I have
no idea why it changed completely
randomly and as far as I can tell
without reason uh but I wake up when I
wake up I give myself 10 minutes to get
out of bed and I do that because I'm
lazy and my inclination is to lay in bed
so I need a bright line that says I get
out of bed immediately without wasting
time so I'm out of bed in out of bed in
10 minutes or less I put my gym clothes
next to my bed so that the easiest
answer is to put my gym clothes on in
fact I'd have to make a conscious choice
not to which thly would trigger um in me
a lot of um conflict emotionally because
it is my identity to immediately go to
the gym to work out again partly for
cognitive optimization and then also for
longevity uh for health and for
Aesthetics um but working out I think is
incredibly important and I actually
think that for anybody that wants to
achieve something extraordinary in their
life that um the third thing that you
need to focus on is mindset the first
two are diet and exercise uh followed by
mindset so I hit the gym first and
foremost immediately after the gym I
meditate and the reason that I do that
is because I want to practice going from
the sympathetic nervous system which is
fight or flight which you're triggering
in the gym through the heavy exertion
your heart rate is up your breathing is
shallow and rapid and the idea is to
very quickly switch over into the
parasympathetic nervous system where
you're getting into um rest and digest
where you're calming all of that down
you're slowing your breath your
diaphragm breathing um in through the
nose out through the mouth and really
calming everything down and I think
practicing that transition is very
important and so that's why I do them
back to back but then on top of that
just meditating for any reason I think
is really important and doing that gets
you into a calm and creative state which
is where all of your anxiety all of your
stress is drop down to zero and I also
think that we think on multiple levels
uh you've got the thinking that is truly
you hear the voice and the words
articulated in your mind but you also
have below that where you have the
notion without the um actual words and
then I think either below that or beside
that you also have just sort of uh an
emotional level of thinking where you're
feeling whatever is going on and I think
that you want to quiet all of those down
so that you can truly get into that calm
creative state and I really feel the
difference in my brain which is why I
think that meditating is insanely
important and I think much like fasting
it's really where you want to um not be
taxing um your metabolic processes and I
it's not that I think there are a lot of
studies out there that show that doing
that um increases the efficiency of your
mitochondria and a whole host of other
benefits um including insulin
sensitivity and on and on um I think
that there's a very similar effect that
happens when you meditate where you're
literally fasting from thought or at
least you're trying to get out of
thought and into that calm creative
space um as for as much of the time that
you're meditating as possible you're
going to find that your mind wanders
it's just what the Mind does but you
really can quiet it down quiet it down
and I think in quieting it down there is
some effect I don't know what the actual
neurological effect is um but the
effects of that what you feel um is a
deep sense of calm relaxation and it's
incredibly powerful for then having your
most potent ideas and biggest
breakthroughs after I do that then I do
what I call think itating which is
leveraging that state to then process
through in a very conscious way all of
the things that I'm dealing with in my
business or my life and um I won't go
into too much detail on think itating
but basically allow yourself to actually
think we in meditation you're trying not
to and then after that um I read which I
think is incredibly important I think
you should always be learning I think
that's really really important to having
great ideas to solving problems whatever
it is to getting better uh you need to
just always always always be learning
and then after that I have a list called
important things and I go through my
important things list and that is um
literally just a list of the most
important things I could be doing for my
business and the reason that I keep a
list is because I don't ever want to
waste time in a transitional moment
trying to think of what I should be
doing or focusing on I want that list um
also Studies have shown that journaling
before you go to bed simply by listing
the things you need to do allows you to
sleep and so this may be one of the
reasons that I have such an easy time
falling asleep is I know everything that
I should be working on everything that
I've thought about is not only written
down it's in priority order and so there
isn't a cycle of my brain like remember
remember remember which I think is part
of what keeps people awake so there you
have it that's my morning routine after
that then I get ready and um I often
read by the way cuz I do audible books
while I'm getting ready I read through
making my first meal which comes after
all of that um and there you have it
that's my morning routine am I think
behind it all right next question is
from Daniel Breeze hi Tom I go to bed at
9: my man alarm at 5:30 shame on you
it's still not enough sleep get more I
want to wake up without the alarm any
tips on how to feel rested with less
sleep I have absolutely no tips on how
to feel rested with less sleep my only
tip is how to feel rested which is to
get as much sleep as you need now while
it's really annoying to me that right
now I'm sleeping 7 and 8 hours versus my
normal 5- six it is what I have to do to
be cognitively optimized and therefore I
do it um I won't say that I don't
complain as you hear me doing right now
but I think that it the priority remains
being cognitively optimized not being
tired I think being tired is a unique
form of torture that I absolutely
despise and to get the most out of my
day to make the most of whatever hours
I'm awake I would rather be super sharp
and well-rested than try to wake up
really early be tired be slow uh be
miserable and quite frankly not have the
ideas coming from my subconscious which
I find is slowed or even muted if I'm
too tired so while there are rare
occasions where I will set an alarm I
wake up to an alarm certainly less than
10 times a year so a year a year so if
you can do what I've done without
setting alarm more than 10 times then I
just truly truly go to bed early sleep
as much as you need now what you're
probably going to find is in the first
couple months you're going to sleep a
lot you might be sleeping 8 to 10 hours
because you've been so sleep deprived
uh but sleep is just incredibly
incredibly important I read a study this
is so fascinating your brain um reduces
in size so think of it as as
inflammation and then reducing that
inflammation not actually um you know
growing and shrinking but it it reduces
in size which allows it to flush out I'm
going to use the word toxin I hate that
word uh but it allows it to flush the
system clear of things that it wants to
get out of the brain and the only way
that it can do that is by um reducing
the inflammation which it only does when
you sleep so that's but one of the many
things that they're beginning to uncover
is incredibly potent and Powerful about
sleep in terms of its relationship to
the brain so I just cannot stress enough
get whatever sleep you need uh suck it
up if you have to start going to bed at
8: in order to make it to work on time
do it if you have to go to bed at 7 do
it and I know people always push back I
need to unwind all of that no if you're
watching me I make the assumption that
what you need is to become great it is
to really actuate and
actualize all of the potential that you
have Laten within you and that you're
trying to do something extraordinary
with your life and you're trying to do
that by the way because it is the thing
that makes you feel most alive not
because there is some moral imperative
to do so so that's what you need to do
and the only way that you're going to be
able to get that is to get your sleep so
then beyond that I will say eat right
eating is massive I don't think that
exercise um gives me more energy unless
I take a day off so if I've been working
out like a demon and I'm in great shape
and then I take a day off on the day off
I actually have more energy other people
say that they feel more energized from
working out that just has not been my
experience in 15 years of working out so
I won't propagate that myth um at least
for me um my wife on the other hand does
feel more energized so hey there you
have it um but eating right exercising
and then getting your thoughts in the
right place that and then getting your
sleep that's the only way that I know
how to feel energized all right next
question is from Ian Griggs be Tom I am
currently a PhD math
student that sounds hard uh at Baylor
congratulations this is the first time I
have tried to train my focus on one
thing versus being a jack of all trades
it's as with anything good tough any
advice so yes so my advice is regardless
of whether something is hard or not
because even something that comes easily
to you let's say that mathematics comes
easily to you or I'll use my example so
for me um speaking was always the thing
that I got early wins in so even when I
was young I was able to um Talk fairly
rapidly but ultimately you're getting to
the point where you've maxed out your
natural ability and now you're trying to
push it you're trying to go beyond and
that got hard as hell for me and I spent
a lot of hours practicing practicing
always at the edge of my competence
which the real danger being at the edge
of your competence if you don't have a
growth mindset is it makes you feel
badly about yourself which makes you
want to go into the psychological immune
system and begin to protect yourself
from that so as you're doing math
problems that are hard for you and
really start making you feel stupid
which is exactly what happens you're
going to want to back off you're going
to want to go into places that you're
better stronger that you have uh you're
dipping into your more natural talents
and you're not pushing those to the um
edge of your abilities but that's the
way to keep your life small that is not
the way to become extraordinary so you
really just have to admit this is going
to be hard this is going to make me feel
stupid this is going to make me feel
badly about myself but on a long enough
timeline if I keep doing this if I keep
practicing I keep pushing myself what
I'm doing is
extending extending that region of where
you start to feel stupid so it may you
know right now it's maybe something
that's relatively basic for an advanced
mathematician but 5 years from now 10
years from now that begins to extend
really far and your mathematics becomes
incredibly usable and potent in your
life and you're able to do things that
other people were not able to do and
when you look back and this is one of
the few times that I encourage people to
really look back on their life when you
look back at where you were like 6
months ago it's not often that exciting
continuing to push that continuing to
drive forward continuing to live at that
edge and sooe yourself with the identity
and building Pride around being a
learner instead of being smart good
whatever that you you will just go so
far and it will be so impactful on your
life so that is my advice all right next
question is from clutch media clutch
I've seen you in the comment feed before
uh thank you for engaging on Instagram
is where I think of you so thank you for
joining today on um YouTube uh Tom hope
you're doing well I am thank you very
much for asking can you speak about a
way or ways you would go about cutting
off a relationship with a friend and
business partner when the partner just
has not been
reliable oo okay so a friend is pretty
easy um because there's no contractual
things that extend the pain in that
relationship so um first of all I really
really believe in principles and by that
I mean that the truth is the highest
value so um honestly there's only a
certain ring of my friendships that are
so important to me that I would employ
the principles but let's pretend that
they are because I think this is the far
more interesting way to look at this so
if somebody's really a part of my inner
circle and I care deeply about them and
I want them in my life um before I would
distance myself from them I would first
just tell them exactly how I'm feeling I
would point out examples of times where
I felt like hey I was counting on you to
be there which by the way I would have
been abundantly clear about my
expectations wanting them to be there
whatever the casee may be that it's
important to me I would define those
words so I wouldn't just say hey it's
important to me that you you know
whatever come out to dinner tonight or
meet me for bowling or whatever it is
you're doing I would Define the word
important and say look I'll never be
abusive of this I'm not going to say
this every time I get we're all busy um
and so maybe it's one out of 50 times
that um it's actually important to me
that you show up but when I say it's
important um if you're not going to be
able to make it just tell me right away
so that I know I'm not counting on you
Etc um and and really Define those terms
so if I've said hey this is important
they failed to show up I'm going to tell
them in real time exactly how that makes
me feel why that's troubling to me um
what that you know makes me want to do
whether that's to not continue to invite
them or not invest in them as a
friendship or whatever I would say all
of those things and so being really
truthful being really open being honest
being direct um I think is is the only
way to have a truly deep and meaningful
relationship um so I'm of the ilk where
I have um a lot of acquaintances and I
have very few real deep friendships and
those real deep friendships are the
people that I really deployed the
principles on I explain to them what the
principles are if you want to read them
for yourself read Ray Delio's principles
I think that they apply not only to
business but to personal relationships
in fact I've deployed the principles
nowhere more profoundly than in my
marriage uh so check it out but yeah so
having that high level honesty I think
is really really important um and then
if they're not living up to it then I
would just be honest about that and say
look I get it maybe that you're too busy
for this and I totally understand and
meeting them with compassion by the way
and not being passive aggressive or a
dick about it it's like look either
they're they just don't see friendship
the same way that you do or it's not as
important to them in that moment or or
they're Just Not That Into You uh which
I think applies to friends as well so
and you know just without U being weird
or harsh I would you know enjoy what
time that I have with them if I want to
continue to invest in that friendship
and then I wouldn't expect anything
beyond that and that's something that um
I think is is really important is to
understand where people fall in the
spectrum of your friendship um to meet
them where they are to enjoy them for
what they have to offer not expect them
to be more than they want to be or are
capable of being um and yeah so if it's
just somebody that dips in and out of
your life but they're fun to be around
then enjoy them for that and don't
expect them to be more um and then if
they're in that range and you just don't
want to spend time with them because
you're not getting anything out of them
then simply stop spending time with them
um now when it's a business partner this
gets much more difficult and you're
going to have to really look at what's
going on from um a contractual
standpoint but even before I would say
just like cutting them out of your life
which is pretty simple of sitting them
down and saying hey this partnership
isn't working anymore and we need to
figure out what we're going to do
contractually to dissolve the
relationship um I would look at how do
you make the relationship functional and
I think that making the relationship
functional has everything to do with um
defining terms it has to do with
agreeing on values that's really
important you may find that um you have
different languages of appreciation so
why while you think they're not being
reliable that may just be something that
they don't value and they don't
communicate in that way so um there's a
communication style that is acts of
service there's communication style
that's quality time and so you may be
somebody that communicates in quality
time and so you're thinking that they're
unreliable because they don't
communicate in that way and so they
don't carve out that time to really be
there for you now if you're saying that
they're not reliable about the business
that could be something entirely
different and then that's going to be
defining expectations here's what I
expect from you uh the amount of time
the amount of energy and quite frankly
what are the um metrics that you expect
them to hit and then all of the sort of
wishy-washy stuff goes away if you guys
agree on what the metrics are and the
metrics aren't being hit becomes very
easy to have the conversation of this
partnership is not working out okay I'll
leave it there all right next question
is from SIM land what is up dude um
you're gonna be here soon which is crazy
and cool and I can't wait to meet you
fat a face uh Tom what do you make of
the quote from George Bernard Shaw life
isn't about finding yourself life is
about creating yourself
this is [ __ ] crazy I just did this on
Alexa did it already come out and is
that's why he's bringing it up or are we
just um sympatico not entirely sure I
think it's an amazing quote and I think
it is 100% true and this to me is like
the real Gap that people have between
where they are and what they want to
accomplish they think that it is an
archaeological dig that they're going to
find within themselves things that have
been laying dormant somehow and that's
just not how this works um you're going
to craft yourself you're going to have a
vision of the person that you want to
become you may even have a model of
somebody who's like that somebody that
you look up to somebody that you inspire
to be like and you're going to map out
your life your decisions your beliefs
your actions everything on what you
believe is going to get you to that
state um and somebody I was just talking
to who was it and they said that when
you um what you need to do is describe
what success looks like like what would
I be saying as I'm describing to
somebody this thing being successful I
think it was Ray Kur and then back into
that so if the press release if you will
of this success were XYZ like what would
I need to be saying and writing into
that press release and then actually go
and act in accordance with that that to
me is how you become the person that you
want to become is what does that person
act like and then start acting like that
so um I don't think it matters who you
are I don't think it matters what
situation you were born into I don't
think it matters what your natural
talents and inclinations are I think it
only matters what you craft into your
life I think excitement can be crafted
um I think that love can be crafted now
because I know that that one is
controversial and slightly misleading I
think all of this stuff starts from a
flicker of interest and then like with
my wife on her first date I was like
whoa this chick is super interesting now
I don't believe in love at first sight
it certainly was not love on the first
date but going into that and Fanning
those flames and feeding into this
notion of I want to be around her I want
to spend more time with her like
literally Fanning that and staring at it
and investing in that like by investing
in a desire to spend more time with him
her and cultivating like this want to be
around her in like replaying in my mind
the time that we had spent together and
all of that stuff it really begins to
turn into this bonfire because you're
obsessing on it you're pointing at it
you're looking at it you're cultivating
you're crafting it you're creating it as
George beracha said so that I think is
really that is the truth and that people
want um love to to
be like this effortless thing that just
happens automatically I don't think it
works like that same with excitement I
think all of this stuff Peters out if
you don't fan those Flames so I think
you craft everything in your life all
right next question is from Charles B
this is on YouTube what are your views
on emotional intelligence and how much
control do you think we have over our
emotional states all right my views on
emotional intelligence are that it is
insanely important and I believe that
you can get hold of your emotional
states I think it is very
hard actually I was I was about to say
it's very hard not to feel the emotion
but even that will dim with time as you
craft your identity so at first it
starts with identity I think behavior um
is born of identity and your values so
as you begin to shape your values which
are a decision as you begin to shape
your identity which is a choice and you
craft it going back to the last question
as you begin to do that stuff I think
that over time your emotions to a given
situation will change
very dramatically um so that's that is
an important thing to recognize and then
I think that by um developing your
self-awareness by understanding that
you're having an emotion processing it
in real time saying okay I'm having this
emotion what is this emotion what is the
cause of this emotion and really at the
cause level being willing to admit when
it's um insecurity pettiness jealousy
whatever the case may be being able to
really truly admit whatever deficiency
inadequacy um just general lameness that
exists in your personality like if
you're willing to be honest about that
then you can go okay what is it um that
I'm lacking or believe I'm lacking or
whatever that's causing me to have this
Cascade and if you can nip that in the
bud by changing your identity your
values whatever your belief system all
the things that make that up um because
you want to change that because you
think that whatever emotional state
you're having is
disempowering um then you can diminish
the amount of time that you experience
that and the idea being to start
recognizing the emotion very fast um
recognizing what it is the cause and
addressing that cause through what I
call the mental Pachinko machine which
is a belief system of things that take a
negative belief and insecurity jealousy
pettiness whatever and turn it into
something positive um getting very good
at that and my goal with myself and I'm
definitely not 100% at this but um I've
gotten so much better over the years is
to not even let that emotion register on
my face so I may feel it but so quick
the penko machine takes over and I flip
that negative thing into something
positive so um that's very important I
think that humans can get insanely good
at that and you will be shocked at how
many emotions you can get control of um
and Flip or use them as a trigger for an
empowering Behavior so you may have an
insecurity that's the emotion but you
use that emotion as a trigger to trigger
an empowering Behavior so I'll give you
an example um this may be a slightly
weak example but when I'm at the dentist
uh that [ __ ] hurts even when they numb
you like even if they're just cleaning
your teeth that [ __ ] hurts uh and I hate
that such a weird pain so I find that
that pain triggers this like desire to
recoil to get out of there to curl up on
my mother's lap and cry like a baby uh
but I use that very negative emotion um
which does not make me feel good about
myself to literally lean into the pain
to open my mouth wider and then in doing
that that makes me feel proud of myself
that I'm not shying away from pain that
I'm not slinking away from it and if I'm
willing to do it on something that is
obviously positive make sure that you
have healthy gums and teeth uh then I
will do it in other areas of my life
where it's also empowering so um that is
one example I don't know why that one
came to my mind right now uh but that's
one example of ways that you can flip
something that starts is this negative
recoil want to get away from and turns
it into something empowering all right
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life next question Nicole page YouTube
what are your thoughts and suggestions
on creating better communication in
relationships I.E getting over the fear
of Confrontation and being able to hold
the people around you to a higher
standard it's interesting at the
beginning of that question I thought you
were talking about Intimate
Relationships uh which is not
necessarily what you're talking about so
um fear of Confrontation how would I get
over that so part of that fear is coming
from you have a vision of yourself that
your worried will be diminished because
you will either be unable to convince
people of your point of view or you'll
be unable to look cool or they're going
to brow beat you into submission or
whatever it is that's causing that fear
of that confrontation and I would say
instead of trying to come out the other
side of a confrontation looking cool or
being right or any of that um go into
that confrontation with a desire to find
out what is really true what is really
optimal there may be um a realization
about yourself which is hey maybe I'm
not good at um making my case and maybe
I need to focus on getting better at
that and so if that's the thing that
triggers your insecurity going into that
and that's why you have a fear of
Confrontation go into it telling
yourself and this is one way that I've
addressed this literally in my own life
instead of thinking oh I need to perform
well in this I'm going to go into this
as practice so hey if I totally mess
this up and embarrass myself and I don't
think of the cool things that I wanted
to say or the very convincing things
that I would have said um you know and I
think of them an hour later which is
very common um I'll just go in and and
remember this is practice I'm going to
try maybe a new technique uh maybe that
new technique is simply lowering my
anxiety levels so I'm going to go into
this I really don't want this
confrontation [ __ ] this sucks I don't
want to do this but I'm going to go into
it and I'm just going to practice
getting out of the sympathetic nervous
system into the parasympathetic nervous
system so as that fear of Confrontation
kicks in and my heart rate starts
speeding up and my breathing gets
irregular I'm just literally going to
hey this conversation isn't about
winning the argument this conversation
is about practicing calming myself down
diaphragm breathing staying aware of my
thoughts not answering too fast and you
know trying to give a fast answer
instead of a thoughtful answer so in
going into practice those things I find
that the fear of anything whether it's
confrontation or just general anxiety is
going to be lowered so I think that
that's um really really helpful and I do
fear that we scrolled off the question
and there was a second part to this can
we go back
up thank you
um being able to hold people around you
to a higher standard okay so that to me
is is totally different and this is all
going to come down to what your
relationship is to them um sadly in a
business environment depending on where
you are in the company hierarchy you may
not be able to hold people hold people
to a higher standard you can certainly
set a high standard through your
behavior and that's what I would
encourage you to do and I think that
people over time always recog recognize
the high performers they certainly
recognize the people that are actually
making things better even if people are
just blanket stealing your ideas if
you've got enough good ideas that they
want to steal from you and they're
actually paranoid at being without you
and they have fear of loss and you've
gotten that good at generating amazing
ideas or moving things forward or
whatever um that won't go unnoticed so
you've got a lot of Leverage if you're
able to generate those kinds of ideas it
puts you in a position of power um and
while not always easy to figure out the
political maneuverings to move up and
around somebody that's just stealing
your ideas um it starts with being so
good that they fear losing you so um I
would focus on that so lead by example
um and yeah when you're the one that's
delivering and you really don't abuse
this because you can turn into a dick
real fast by trying to hold people to
standards um but when your standard is
like miles above everybody else and you
in a super optimistic Pleasant um and
encouraging way say hey like we can
accomplish XYZ if we all do XYZ um
that's probably the way to do it and if
you're leading from the front and taking
the hard jobs and really charging in
everything with an amazing attitude and
always trying to inspire and motivate
those around you and be super
encouraging I think you'll find that
people rise up to that it's just [ __ ]
good leadership all right next question
is from samret s gupa hey Tom there is
absolutely no goal in the world that
fires me up to go after it no passion
nothing any suggestions all right so
first of all this is hearkening back to
something we were discussing earlier
which is nobody starts with a passion
some people develop a passion very early
in their life um but they don't start
there so um I'll give you an example of
how something in my own life started so
um as a kid I really enjoyed watching
movies okay so that's that flicker of
interest and then my dad ends up
bringing a camcorder home and because I
really dug movies I thought oh let me
play around with this camera and I
started playing with it and it's kind of
fun and I have a friend who thinks it's
kind of fun and so we goof around on the
cameras um and it's kind of fun and
that's it and then we're um shooting
some stuff and I remember like I just
had an intuition of like where to put
the camera um my dog just jail broke I'm
kind of impressed right now that she was
able to jump over that and half the team
has come to get her uh so I just found
that I had that intuitive um thing of
where to put the camera and my dad made
an off-handed comment and he may have
been trying to tell me that I was
terrible at being in front of the camera
but he said in a very sweet way instead
I actually think you're better behind
behind the camera than you are in front
of the camera now um I took that as like
wao he thinks I'm good behind the camera
that's amazing and so that like
feel-good thing with my dad wanting to
impress My dad became me really focusing
on being behind the camera and as I got
better at it then I was able to actually
express myself behind the camera and
then slowly over time reinvesting in
that Fanning those Flames really sitting
in that wanting to get great and loving
the obsession and all of that then I
actually really started to get good and
in the proc process of gaining that
Mastery and Fanning those Flames it
became a passion but it wasn't a passion
right off the bat so that's how
literally the sort of oh flicker of
Interest random comment from Dad desire
to impress ends up becoming this massive
passion of my life so now you don't
always fall in love with things like
that I'm sure there were a thousand
things my dad wanted me to be really
good at cars and I [ __ ] hated working
on cars and so that did not turn into
even an interest let alone a passion but
when you get good at that process of
cultivating that creating that Fanning
those Flames investing in it
understanding the power of obsession
that obsession is a choice that it
starts with something that merely like
interest you then that turns into
capturing your imagination through
engagement and then you fan those flames
and it really becomes a passion so just
because you don't have one now doesn't
mean that you couldn't find one but
you're going to have to invest you're
going to have to invest in forcing
yourself to embody excitement over
something sort of exaggerating it and
there's all kinds of studies that I
could um talk about but I will give you
one brief thing which is that there is a
mechanism in the mind where whatever
your reaction is however big it is
however theatrical your reaction is your
brain goes oh it must have been worth
that reaction which is why when people
get really pissed off they only further
invest in that they were truly wronged
or whatever so if you do the same thing
with excitement and embody that
excitement push that excitement out
share that try to radiate that
excitement you'll find that your brain
goes whoa this must have really been
worth that level of excitement so that
thing that only started as an interest
really becomes something all right
that's enough on that uh next question
is from Mitch preneur a very clever name
um I'm motivated and ready to suffer but
I tend to stumble on actually finding
what I think is a good model or idea any
thoughts or strategies on finding the
business that jives with your
passion okay so uh what is the real way
to answer this question you have a
passion but you don't know how to build
a business so this is going to be
intersecting circles think of a ven
diagram so you're going to be looking at
what is my passion um what is a need
that the world has and what can I
monetize so in the area where those
three things meet that's going to be the
business opportunity so
um I I'll walk you through what I did
with impact Theory but it actually
didn't start with the the passion that I
have for the path which is where I think
people get confused so I I have deep
passion for the path that we're
employing right now which is um media
film making TV storytelling all of that
but the actual goal the mission is to
pull people out of the Matrix meaning to
help people get rid of that limiting
belief system that's holding them back
because the thing that I I just I am
over the moon I get the the biggest
chemical reaction from neurochemical
reaction is that moment of Awakening
where somebody realizes that they can do
something that a minute ago they didn't
think they were capable of because they
simply shifted their belief system and
then that opens this whole world of ways
that they could go and grow and get
better and all of that and that it it
will have real world impact on
themselves and their family now when
that happens and somebody turns to me
and says dude it is because of you that
I'm able to do this that is the [ __ ]
juice for me nothing gets me as excited
is that nothing amps me up like that
literally absolutely [ __ ] nothing
which by the way if you see me out in
the world trust me when I say you're not
interrupting me I absolutely love it
when people come up and say hey man
because of the content I'm doing this or
whatever or dropping in comments like I
[ __ ] love that stuff so that is
incredibly meaningful to me that is the
absolute juice that is the thing that
I'm just over the moon about now now I'm
starting with that okay that's the thing
that I love now where is the business
opportunity what can I monetize what's
the problem that the world needs to
solve now I really believe that there is
an just an unimaginable amount of human
suffering that comes from having a
belief system that holds you back the
easiest way for me to think about it is
inner cities now this is not the only
way that this manifests but it is
certainly one of them what your ZIP code
is when you're born has such a freakish
determinant on your life that is so
terrifying to me I absolutely hate that
um and this really just became
incredibly clear to me at Quest when we
were um manufacturing and working in the
inner cities and just seeing these
incredible extraordinary human PE humans
with like all these beautiful stories
and tragic stories and all this
potential and I just knew they weren't
going to do anything with it because of
their belief system and so I thought
okay that's that is a huge problem that
when
people realize what they're really
capable of like they're lit on fire in a
way like nothing else so what is a
business opportunity around this and
then what we came to was building out
the studio because it's the only way
that I believe people are going to
change their belief system is through
narrative that's just how humans work
and so I didn't want to leverage or I
didn't want to change Behavior I wanted
to leverage it so what's a way that
people already assimilate their belief
system they assimilate their belief
system through their parents through
their friends and through um media
stories so I knew that well I can't
impact their friends or their family but
I can impact the stories that we're
telling so that's where we started it's
a massive business already um so telling
stories that I think people will be more
into than the next story building a
community around that creating social
content that I think is better than the
other stuff um all of that becomes that
monetizable event so uh you have to get
good at identifying that walking
backwards starting with what is my goal
what do I really care about what am I my
dad gave me a plaque and it said find
something that you would die for and
live for it um so find that thing like
what's that thing that amps you up and
then work backwards into that
opportunity all right next question is
from Mike pili pili hi Tom I often have
trouble communicating Concepts I read to
others in a clear concise way is there a
specific process you take when trying to
convey a concept to an audience more
effectively yes so you need to
understand like what are the building
blocks what are the basic concepts that
they would need to understand to really
get the big concept related to things
that they already know so that you're
tying it through analogy metaphor to
things they already understand and then
meet them with compassion don't be uh
don't talk down to them um really try to
share your own raw enthusiasm for this
idea why it is that to you it's
worthwhile explaining or getting people
to understand and then also always
always always be open to being wrong so
um have strong convictions loosely held
when you go into something like that
with the humility and excitement and
then breaking things down into their
constituent Parts using analogy using
metaphor to to tie it to something that
they already know and understand I think
then you can really communicate
something um don't try to be clever
don't try to come across as smart really
just try to break the concepts down into
their basic building blocks and then
here's one thing that like people really
don't think about you will notice that
I'm doing it right now and I wasn't even
thinking about it until this minute um
you need to speak in a way that draws
people in if I answered every question
like this and every now and then I'll
interview somebody and their answers are
like this and I want to stab myself in
the face during the interview because
the human mind is meant to respond to
emphasis changes in inflection Rhythm
all of that stuff so if you can find a
way to say it in a way that will also
draw people in um they will say that
you're charismatic but it's really just
understanding how to um make people feel
um encouraged welcomed and then uh draw
them in with the way that you're
speaking all right so next question is
from Star hard grov can you explain how
you explain your T-shirt to people I
find I get push back and backlash when I
say that to peeps all right star hard
grve so first of all welcome to the
club I wrote an article now I want you
to imagine when I first decided I was
going to start creating content this
probably God three and a half years ago
when I first decided that I was going to
start creating content I I thought what
is like the most powerful important idea
that I have and and I'm going to start
with that I'm going to write from that
position and the thing that I came up
with was this article about how if I
were hit by a drunk driver I would blame
myself and I go into all this detail
about like how this situation ends up so
I'm literally like there's nothing I
could do and that I knew any sane person
would say when I asked whose fault is
that accident everybody insurance
companies everybody is going to say oh
dude it's a drunk driver's fault 100% so
when the punchline came that it was was
my fault I thought people are going to
be liberated they're going to realize oh
my God this makes so much sense because
if I take ownership even in that moment
when everybody else is going to say no
way that's not your fault if I take
ownership in that moment I am inow of
everything in my life I'm while I may be
a victim or while I may be victimized
excuse me I'm never a victim and that
choosing to play the role of the victim
is my choice and I can even in that
moment choose to be empowered to
remember that I could have done
something differently including not
getting into a
car that I'm always in
control the backlash I got on that
article which I was trying to give
people the gift that had taken me from
scringy couch cushions to find enough
change of gas in my car to building a
billion dooll business like that was the
thing that was one of the biggest
breakthroughs that I had it was one of
the most important realizations ever
that I think anyone can have and people
flipped the [ __ ] out and like the
comments were gnarly and I was like wow
so here's the reality I preach to the
[ __ ] choir I am not trying to
convince people the truth of the [ __ ]
world is that until you take ownership
of everything in your life until you
stop making excuses and blaming anybody
you will never go as far as you could go
never I don't care I don't give a [ __ ]
about fairness any of that [ __ ] like
the reality is if that's how you think
you will go less far than somebody who
takes ownership of everything no matter
how absurd that is the truth of the
world I don't know what people want me
to say if you go into water and try to
breathe without an apparatus you will
[ __ ] drowned that's the truth whether
people want to agree with me on that or
not is totally irrelevant to my life so
it's a very energetic way of saying I
don't try to explain my t-shirt to
people and if they don't like it hey
full respect the response that I just
gave you I would never give to somebody
because I actually feel bad that people
are stuck there like the whole point of
impact theory is to make content that
hits people not the social content to
make narrative content that somebody who
is antagonistic to change who's
antagonistic to a growth
mindset lives in this world that we
create these stories that we tell and
they admire the characters and they
watch the characters go on a journey and
they learn a lesson of empowerment from
those characters that makes it
possible not to begin to adopt that
belief system because I see how powerful
it is but I don't spend time trying to
convince people explain it nothing this
is my bat symbol in the sky and I wear
this shirt not to convince anybody but
to find the person who walks up and says
I totally agree with that and then I
know that person is my people they are
part of my tribe and I want them in my
life in some way shape or form so don't
worry about convincing people meet them
with compassion don't don't prze or any
of that understand that a fixed mindset
is its own punishment um and simply wear
it to remind yourself of something
powerful and to find other people who
think like you think all right next
question from X bouncers all right hey
Tom what would your advice be for a
24-year-old who just went back to
college and is trying to optimize their
schedule developing good organizational
skills such as writing things down um
so beyond my morning routine so the
things that we've already covered in
this episode and I'll run quickly
through them cognitively optimized which
means getting sleep work out eat right
those are massive write everything down
sounds like you're already on top of
that schedule your time if it's not in
your calendar it is not a priority so
start scheduling your days and you will
see proof positive what you actually
think is important because it is the
things you will actually give time to so
that's really critical keep an important
things list so that you never waste time
and transitional moments trying to think
of what you should be doing next you
should have a list in order remember you
can never have two top priorities so
priorities need to be put in order that
doesn't mean that there aren't multiple
things that aren't important but there
can only be one top priority so the
important things list is in order boom
as soon as you have downtime a free
moment um which by the way there won't
be a whole of them because they'll be
scheduled and things like my important
things time is one of the very in fact
it
is it is almost always the very first
thing that I schedule so my schedule
right now through the next several
months has important things already
blocked out of my schedule so if you
look at my schedule like for today it's
[ __ ]
Mayhem but the thing that I put first
would be important things so as you look
out the farther you get away from the
current day the less and less things are
on my schedule but there are already
huge blocks for important things now
important things with the air quotes is
that list that I have of the most
important things that I could be doing
to move the business forward keep that
list Whatever It Is What books you
should be reading things you should be
studying for um you know based on your
class load and all of that and then as
soon as you have time that you haven't
already scheduled or when you hit a
block that's scheduled for the important
things you just then go down that list
all right so uh that's my advice next
question is from Jeremy Stickney hi hi
Tom how do your goals shift from anying
how did your goals shift from anying
metabolic disease at quest to focusing
more on the mind and pulling people out
of the Matrix and starting impact Theory
what was your thought process I want to
pull people out of the Matrix now I
really believe that part of that is diet
and exercise that's hugely important and
I felt that we' made absolutely massive
strides there and the business was going
and we'd had just all kinds of absurd
financial success and it was amazing and
I was in the position where I could ask
myself um I can do anything now and what
do I want to do and so I started inside
Quest and I was super stoked on it and
people were asking why the hell is the
protein bar guy talking about mindset
that's super [ __ ] weird um my
partners didn't share the vision for
that either it was going to be very
expensive to um execute against that to
make the brand of quest flexible enough
that it could incorporate mindset I'd be
dragging my partners Along on that
Journey which isn't fair to them and I
have deep concerns about any Brands
flexibility and um
getting uh the the great irony and this
will explain the struggle the great
irony of my life when I was at Quest
people were like why is the protein bar
guy talking about mindset now that I've
done impact Theory we're about to launch
a new show called Health Theory and
we're not going to be able to launch it
on my channels because people want to
know why is the mindset guy talking
about protein bars so oh the [ __ ]
irony so brands are a thing they people
go to a brand for certain things they
like you guys think of me in a certain
way you think of me all about mindset
that is one part of my personality and
that is certainly the core Central focus
of the brand of impact Theory and the
brand of Tom Bilu but that is not the
sum total of my existence the only thing
that I focus on all of that so getting
people to
understand a brand in a much broader
context I think is probably futile and
so rather than trying to do that I
realized that if I was going to do the
thing that is most honest in um the
thing that makes me feel most alive
which is pulling people out of the
Matrix I had to spin it off as a
separate brand and so here we are um
yeah that's it all right next question
Stephen Davis in the beginning did you
work as much as you do now or have you
improved over time how have you
increased productivity and discipline to
work 18 hours a day all right so it
depends on when you're starting that
clock because when I was um just out of
college I was insanely lazy and I'm so
embarrassed and I never I actually don't
want myself to lose sight of how lazy I
was nor do I want people who follow me
to lose sight of how lazy I was because
I want people to understand you can
become anything you want to
become you create who you are you don't
discover it talked about that earlier so
that is really really important but I
used to be insanely lazy now as I began
to change my identity and strive to
become the person that I wanted to
become instead of focusing on who I was
then I realized that being lazy and
giving into that was not going to take
me where I wanted to go it didn't make
me feel more alive and so as I fed into
the things that made me feel alive as I
fan those Flames as I changed my
identity made demands of myself altered
my belief system and really began to
invest emotionally by rewarding myself
for my ability to go hard to work to
push forward on things that I really
believe in to invest in things that make
me feel alive to make the demand that
the thing that I'm working my ass off
for is something that I really believe
in and that's why man do not follow me
nor listen to my advice if you don't
love what you do because if you don't
love what you do and you work 18 hours a
day you are a [ __ ] fool and you will
hate your life and you will look back
with nothing but
regret so the last thing I want is
somebody to take my advice on the
surface and miss the part where I say
find something you would die for and
live for it make the demand that the way
you make your living the way you earn
your money is doing something that you
care deeply about that gives you more
energy than it takes now if you have all
of that in place you cannot accept
weakness from yourself you need to be
pushing forward you need to make huge
demands of yourself because that is how
you will optimize your abilities that is
how you will actually um actuate your
potential and do the things you want to
do and gaining skills and getting better
at something is what's going to allow
you to actually have the kind of impact
that you want to have now when you have
that core when you understand that the
harder you work the more reverberations
you can have in the world remember my
very definition of
power is you close your
eyes you imagine a world a world that is
better than the one that you currently
live in one that you want to be real and
then you open your eyes and you have the
ability to make that world come true
that's power that is power
if you want to cultivate that power in
your life it comes down to busting your
ass to gain skills that matter to you
and live in service not only of yourself
but of other
people so that's how I increased my
productivity and discipline because I
care about what I'm doing it makes me
feel alive it makes me feel energized it
is exciting I wake up excited to see if
I can pull this off I wake up excited to
work hard to get better because I know
that it actually has real world
implications so I didn't start this way
I don't think anybody does you have to
cultivate it you create this stuff and
it all starts with
cultivating that passion all right next
question is from Dr Jack Callahan how
can I deal with an insecure mom mom
technically and aggressive and stubborn
stepdad who both say I'm the worst part
of the family should I be selfish and
focused on myself I also use use the
8020 and it's amazing okay that's
awesome so 8020 80% of your time in the
Beautiful the things you're grateful for
all the things you're trying to make
come true in your life 20% chip on your
shoulder [ __ ] you I'm going to succeed
no matter what anybody says Dark Side
never spend more than 20% of your time
there becomes super corrosive all right
so um I'll just say that if you can get
out of this situation like if you live
with them um I would get out immediately
second I would meet them with compassion
and in no way shape or form let them
influence how I think about myself so
anybody that can actually say you're the
worst part of this family a that is so
horrific and cruel that it doesn't make
any sense to say because the only hope
you could have by saying that is to
diminish somebody now if you wanted to
lay out metrics and say hey as a family
can we all agree these are going to be
our goals then you may say hey some of
your behaviors are moving us away from
those goals so I really want to talk
about that and I want to see how that we
can address them because I know that you
could since you agree on what these
goals are I know that we could get your
behavior in alignment with something
that makes that better and you're a
valued and loved member right like
there's a way to handle that if somebody
has behaviors that don't make sense and
maybe you do but saying something like
you're the worst part of this family is
so corrosive and ridiculous um that
already it just shows a fundamental lack
of understanding of human empathy and
human psychology but this is where I
think you bring your understanding of
human empathy and human psychology to
understand that somebody that can say
that like there is a negativity in them
there is a an unhappiness a sadness an
insecurity um a sense of being
ineffective because the only thing they
know how to do is lash out and hurt that
I I would meet them with compassion now
I would meet them with silent compassion
I'll be really [ __ ] honest with you
because I'm not going to try to convince
them I'm not going to argue with them I
would be uh like water and so if they
tried to push me it's very hard to push
water so I would
yeah I would just let that roll off me
and I think you have to get very good at
that at understanding what people are
capable of at understanding where they
are mentally emotionally um and not try
to worry about convincing them I don't
fall for the impossible to please father
routine um which I know a lot of people
do but that is not something that
resonates with me so when I realize that
somebody's impossible to please or that
they're broken in their own ways I don't
spend my time trying to convince them uh
of my Worth or anything else it's I will
love them for what they have to offer
and I think that totally writing off
your um Mom would be very very difficult
for you there's just something hardwired
in us to make that next to imposs um but
I certainly wouldn't expect praise from
her I would not allow her to um hold any
of my self-worth or anything um and you
you have to totally detach yourself from
that it is not easy there is much
sadness that's going to be around that
but I think that it is absolutely
imperative um that you not take her
opinion of you seriously now separate
the message from the messenger if your
mother ever has even in a hateful way
something that is real and something
that you want to address in your life
don't be afraid to stare at that accept
that and make that change and grow and
get better um but if she's saying things
like you're the worst thing worst part
of the family chancelor she's never
going to recognize your improvement so
don't improve in the hopes of getting
approval from her don't improve with the
hopes of getting approval from her it
just won't work all right um we have
very little time left probably time for
one more question from Mia Jaffrey hi
Tom how do I maintain faith in myself
when the people Empower in my field have
very low trust in me even when I have
proved my ability multiple times all
right so here's the reality of being so
good that they can't ignore you if
they're ignoring you then chances are
you haven't proven yourself as far as
you think you have um and so that's the
reality I would highly encourage you to
watch genius um the story of Albert
Einstein season 1 um what he does when
the establishment tells him that he's
like a total jackass and he doesn't know
what he's talking about and he barely
passes college and everybody just thinks
that he's this flighty guy and he can't
get a job at a university and so he's
working as a patent clerk watch what he
does to get acceptance and become the
Albert Einstein that we all know he
doesn't publish one groundbreaking um
theory he publishes like three or four
in the span of something like 18 months
they end up still to this day being the
most important documents um or
breakthroughs in physics and it's like
he did it literally because he had a
chip on his shoulder and people wouldn't
pay attention and so he had to go that
far to prove to people beyond a shadow
of a doubt that he was a real deal that
he had insights that people weren't
taking seriously so my thing is if you
haven't gone that far if you can still
be ignored if your detractors have
enough ammunition to shut you down you
just haven't gone far enough and I get
it that is not what people want to hear
but that is the God's honest truth man
if you can be ignored then by definition
you haven't gotten so good that you
can't be ignored Focus all of your time
and attention into getting better skill
acquisition it is the only thing the
only promise I can make you if you focus
all of your time and energy into the
beauty The Joy the
wonderment of skill acquisition not from
a dark or negative place but focus on
how awesome it is that as humans we can
get great at things it's the one
decision you won't regret it is five
years 10 years down the road whether
that group of people ever recognizes you
or not
you will become so much better so Focus
all of your time and energy there and
don't be afraid to look for another job
if people in your world don't recognize
you and if it's people industrywide that
don't recognize you then we're back to
the Einstein problem you just haven't
gone far enough yet in these next clips
I go over the actionable steps you must
take in order to radically transform
your life all right you guys ready we're
going to have some fun we're going to
take the energy get a little bit crazy I
want to make sure that you guys end this
on a high note and honestly I will be
wildly disappointed in myself if all I
manage to do in this is Inspire or
motivate you at the end of this talk I
will consider myself a failure if that's
all that happens I will consider it a
win on the other hand if you guys go out
and actually take action and at the end
of the day all of us we not judged by
our intentions we are judged by what we
actually accomplish and your
accomplishments are going to be entirely
determined by what you actually do and
my talk is going to be about that how to
take action exactly what action is made
up of and why it's critical to recognize
that humans lead with
belief and so at the end of this talk
hopefully I will get you guys to
understand why right now you have
everything that you need already to
believe in yourself to be capable to do
something that is truly extraordinary
and we're going to walk through that
path but for my talk to make any sense
I'm going to have to give you guys a
little bit of my backstory not that I
can see a whole lot but is anybody
familiar with me prior to 7 seconds ago
when you learned that I wake up wow well
I'm completely shocked by that uh thank
you by the way so to give those of you
who don't know a little bit of
background my story goes like this
growing up I did not show any signs of
success my parents taught me to be a
good employee which I'll liken to the
slaves mentality to keep my head down do
as little work as possible and avoid
punishment at all costs and that's how I
started I grew up in a family in Tacoma
Washington that teetered between blue
collar and white collar and I was being
trained to be a good employee and when I
left for college my own mother who's
always been my biggest cheerleader I
think that's important to recognize just
quietly assumed I was going to
fail and every day since I left by the
way my mom all but forced me to go to
college kicked me out of the nest it was
only one of I think two people to leave
the state for my graduating class
everybody else stayed home I wanted to
stay home and my mom said you need to go
chase your dreams
but then every moment since then my mom
has done everything she can to get me to
move back to Tacoma and so finally one
day I asked her and I said Mom I really
don't get it like why you were the one
that pushed me you were the one that
kicked me out so why are you working so
hard to get me back and she said with No
Malice in her heart I just assumed you
were going to
fail I assumed you were going to fail
and come home but I never wanted you to
ask what
if I have the chills on my face
remembering that because that's the
Human
Condition there is something inside of
us that we all recognize it says we
could do more we could be more we are
capable of becoming
something but it's that path to becoming
that we don't really understand and it's
that path to becoming that I want to
talk about today I love the theme of
this event pivot making a change while
keeping your Center that to me really is
what life is all about but that's that's
the hype now how do we get into the
Tactical realities of that and to
explain that I'm going to walk you
through some of my story so my story
starts when I go to film School USC Film
School statistically speaking is harder
to get into than Harvard Law and I
managed to get
in I had taken one of the teachers out
who was on the acceptance committee and
I said look I have really terrible SAT
scores I got a 990 on my SATs by the way
I took it twice that is my combined
score
monkeys with feces just rubbing it on
there get better scores than that and I
was mortified I went to the committee to
find out what I needed to do to get into
film school which was my dream the thing
that I most wanted in this world and
they said hey as long as you've got good
grades and you have a 1300 on your SATs
no problem and I was devastated because
I was so far from
that so I took one of the teachers out
and I said look I have a confession I
got really bad SAT scores I took twice
look I'm just not good on testing La the
whole story and he was like oh who cares
he was like there's two points of
acceptance once as an incoming freshman
where yeah we look at your SAT scores
but the other is as an incoming Junior
and then we don't care about your SAT
scores which are merely meant to tell us
how well you do in college so I'm just
going to look at your grades so if you
get good grades I'm not even going to
look at the rest of your
application cool so I locked myself in
my dorm room for 2 years I didn't date I
didn't drink a drop of alcohol I didn't
go to a party all I did day and night
was work but what they didn't understand
about me what they didn't understand
about the human animal is our ability to
adapt grow and get
better the most fascinating thing to
come out of Science in a long time was
when they sequenced the human genome and
they realized and by the way they
thought they were going to solve
everything they thought they were going
to cure cancer they thought this was
going to be the end of chronic aging
like all of the diseases that we
struggle with now they thought they were
all just going to go away once we
sequence the human genome that was going
to be it it was going to be like a map
to xanadoo it was going to be
amazing and then they did it and what
they discovered was humans only have
20,000
genes and some onions have
40,000 so they're literally looking at
the data going are we really meant to
believe that an onion is more
genetically complex than a human being
how can this be possible oh and by the
way were ignoring all of this stuff that
they were calling junk
DNA now it didn't take them long to
realize that that junk DNA plays a role
we are without question the most
dominant species this world has ever
seen we are an apex predator unlike
anything you can find us in the maranis
trench which is the deepest part of the
ocean you can find us in the Arctic we
have literally sent human beings to the
Moon and what that junk DNA really is
is
epigenetics now it's just a fancy word
for we respond to our environment and
more aptly we respond to
stress in our
environment anybody ever seen a
professional
bodybuilder no okay a professional
bodybuilder hardly looks human to me
they are it's unbelievable what they're
able to do but they show in a very real
and tangible way what you can do to the
human body when you understand how to
put it under stress now if you've ever
been to the gym you know that the real
money is in tearing the muscle down not
building it up you actually build up the
muscle while you're sleeping based on
what you've eaten so the act of
bodybuilding of actually going into the
gym is an act of tearing down so that
you can create the stress so that your
body can respond now if you remember
nothing else from my talk remember this
humans are the ultimate adaptation
machine just by being
human each and every one of you is
capable of great
change who you are
today does not predict who you can
become who you can become is the answer
to a very simple question what do you
want and what price are you willing to
pay to get
there what do you want want and what
price are you willing to pay to get
there Kobe Bryant one of the greatest
athletes of our
time would show up on game day and if he
saw anybody else at the gym as early as
him even though he was always the first
on the court he would end up practicing
longer than that person and I had the
honor of interviewing one of those
people one
time and he said I went up and asked
Kobe Kobe we have a game in an hour like
what are you doing out here practicing
so long and Kobe said I needed you to
know that I was willing to outwork
you and in that game they ended up
winning and that lesson stuck with that
guy
forever when you're willing to put in
the work when you're willing to take
control of your environment and put
yourself through the stressors required
for adaptation you literally can become
anything and my life is proof of that
so I stand
here as one of the founders of a
company company Called Quest Nutrition
that we took from not existing to being
valued over a billion dollars 5 years
later thank
you that was the guy whose mother not
too long before that just quietly
assumed he was going to fail at
college but what I began to understand
is that I could harness that ability to
adapt that we can learn in any direction
Nature has to make a choice with any
species option number one pre-program
everything think of a horse when a horse
is born it comes out it can already run
jump take care of
itself and then option
two be built for maximum
flexibility be able to adapt to your
environment a horse is a horse no matter
where you put it but a human depending
on when and where it's born depending on
what it allocates its resources to its
time and attention it can turn into a
basketball player a
neurophysicist a parent a coach a hair
stylist you literally get to choose you
get to decide what it is that you want
to be good at and I want you to think
about the first time that you picked up
a pair of scissors
you didn't know what you were doing it
didn't feel like it was an extension of
your hand but
now when you step into that role when
you show
up the way that everything feels the way
that you set it around your station it's
all like it was meant to be it flows you
know right where things are how to cut
somebody's hair depending on the texture
of the hair the length the quality the
age of the person what they've done to
it you know it all you know how to mix
colors all of that stuff is from
training But the irony is people don't
stop and think about hey I got this far
in this thing simply by allocating the
time and the energy where else could I
go could I
pivot and the answer to that question is
yes the human animal is designed to
adapt that is literally what we are
sculpted to
do for me the piece of advice that I
always give to somebody whether it's an
entrepreneur or somebody who wants to be
the greatest parent of all time
time what is your
goal you've got to start with your
goal everything works backwards from
that for
me I wanted to get
rich and the irony is when I started on
my entrepreneurial journey I was
literally saying that to people I want
to get rich I just want to make a bunch
of
money and so I started as a
copywriter in a technology company
because ID failed to make it in film
School actually ended up doing
horrifically and I at the end of film
school I felt broken embarrassed lost I
had no idea where I was going but I
started teaching film making and as I
was teaching that class I realized
wow I don't know enough to teach these
students
I need to like research at night and
practice to be able to come in and
present this material and a weird thing
happened as I started doing that I was
actually learning a lot more and so I
was able to convey that to the students
and I was able to help the students make
their films better and it made me
realize whoa there's this weird
reciprocal
Loop the harder I work over here then go
and explain it they actually can take
that knowledge and put it to
use building skill sets getting better
at something and I started thinking is
that something that I could do for
myself and at that moment these two very
successful entrepreneurs walk into my
class and at that time I was obsessed
with two
things I wanted to get rich and I wanted
six-pack
abs now I grew up in a morbidly obese
family so for me that was real man and I
used to be 60 lbs heavier than I am
now and I wanted those sixpack abs man I
just had no idea how I was going to get
it and I remember the first time that
somebody told me I think you already
have abs it's just under the fat and I
thought what like that doesn't make
sense cuz I had done like a bunch of
crunches and I'm like I still don't see
them so I don't know what the problem is
maybe it was all the licorice I had a
thing the truth is hitting your career
goals is not easy you have to be willing
to go the extra mile to stand out and do
hard things better than anybody else but
there are 10 steps I want to take you
through that will 100x your efficiency
so you can crush your goals and get back
more time into your day you'll not only
get control of your time you'll learn
how to use that momentum to take on your
next big goal to help you do this I've
created a list of the 10 most impactful
things that any High achiever needs to
dominate and you can download it for
free by clicking the link in today's
description all right my friend back to
today's episode so these two guys walk
in very accomplished entrepreneurs
ripped sixpack AB bodybuilder types and
they said hey you're to the world with
your hand
out if you want to control your art you
have to control your resources so if you
want to get back in the saddle and
actually become a filmmaker you're going
to have to learn to control the
resources so come with us be a
copywriter but understand this is a
startup you can have any role in the
company that you want you just have to
become the right person for that job and
so I took them at their word and I
pivoted and I left my teaching career
which had
safety and I looked to my wife and I
said this may fail but I've got to at
least give it a
shot and my wife said the words that
have become famous for me which is I bet
on
you thank
you now what my wife was betting on
wasn't that I already knew how to do
what they wanted me to do because she
knew I didn't what she was betting on in
me is the same thing that each and every
one of you have which is the ability to
learn
and so I went into it knowing I was not
the right person for any job in that
company I'd never been in a company like
that before I'd been totally focused on
film this was software it was security
software it was nothing that I had any
interest in but I wanted to get
rich and so I did
it and for 6 and a half years I put my
head down like those early days in my
dorm room and I worked my ass off around
the clock I didn't take vacations
meaning if I went somewhere I would
literally guys this is real I would take
a camera so that I could watch what was
going on back at the
facility I was always working around the
clock and at 6 and A2 years I was
so different than where I started I had
worked my way up I was now the chief
marketing officer of the company they
had given me 10% equity in the company I
was now on paper a multi-millionaire I
had done what I set out to do
I was capable of things that I never
would have believed that I could do
running a team building a website online
advertising marketing all things that I
didn't know I didn't even know when I
started the difference between sales and
marketing I had no idea what the
difference
was but here I was now the chief
marketing officer of a company that was
winning Awards it was making money
standing in this beautiful conference
room overlooking the Pacific Ocean and I
realized I'm miserable and I've been
miserable for a long time and I learned
a really powerful lesson that I want you
guys all to think about right now the
goal that I
had did not take me where I wanted to go
I was living the cliche of money can't
by
happiness and I began to realize the
game we're all playing it's not success
it's not
money it's brain chemistry to sum it up
in the simplest way possible the only
thing in this life that
matters the only thing in this life that
matters is what you think about in your
most Quiet Moments about yourself when
you're all alone and the only thing you
have are your thoughts if in that moment
regardless of your worldly success you
feel good about who you are you feel
good about what you've done and how
you've touched other people's lives you
feel good about what you're striving for
and trying to accomplish you feel good
that in the times when it got hard if it
mattered to you you pushed through that
matters that matters a lot
lot but the money doesn't
matter and so I
quit and I realized I was just not
interested in living a life no matter
how much money there was where in my
Quiet Moments I felt like I was wasting
my life I felt like I wasn't helping
people I felt like I wasn't connected I
wasn't connected to my wife I've been
ignoring her for years I felt like I
wasn't connected to my business partners
anymore it was all just about the money
I didn't have a why who knows know Simon
s pick it up for
Simon all right Simon and I did a video
that essentially broke the internet
about
Millennials somebody watch
it what got Simon on the world stage is
this whole concept of why you've got to
know why you're doing what you're
doing if you're just showing up every
day to cut and dye hair to keep your
lights on you're going to have far less
energy to make it through the hard times
than somebody who was there to help
transform somebody to help make somebody
their best to help them feel their best
and I hope that you guys saw that video
not too long ago of the hairdresser that
went around and he was doing makeovers
on homeless
people right
man it was incredible it was so
beautiful the look on their face at that
moment where they see themselves for the
first time in front of the mirror and
they are seeing something totally new
they're seeing a version of themselves
that they did not know was
there and the ability to give that gift
like it is so easy to get lost in the
day-to-day grind of what you do what any
of us do but if at the core driving you
is a deep and unending why for what
you're doing you've got something now
you've got a chance to transcend what
you're doing and the way that happens is
very tactical it has nothing to do with
like woo woo being out in the there it's
none of that you're going to have the
energy that you need to fight through
people always ask me how I generate
energy there's two ways number one take
care of your body there's just no way
around that at the end of the day it's a
biological thing that's going on the
production of ATP and the second thing
is you need to be excited about the
future that you're trying to create and
when I win in and quit even though I had
millions of dollars in equity and I was
making more than I'd ever made
I quit because I didn't have a why I
didn't have anything that gave me the
energy to keep pushing I didn't have
excitement for what I was doing
anymore my partners were stunned totally
tooken by surprise I'm driving home I
call my wife and I say I did it I Quit
like we're actually we were going to
move to Greece we're going to live for
cheap on some beach somewhere and I was
going to write and that was going to be
that and then I am pulling into the
driveway of my condo and my phone rings
and it's my partner
and out of love and respect I take it I
say hey baby give me a second I'm going
to take this they're
calling and they said come out to dinner
with
us and I went out and they said
look we could do this without you but we
don't want
to and that was all I needed to
reconnect to something other than money
and I remembered for a minute these were
guys that I loved these were people that
I had gotten to know through good times
through bad times through the hard times
through the excitement of the company
growing and in connecting to something
other than the money I was finally able
to really see and understand what it was
that motivated me and I confessed to
them that money was not my highest
priority in business my highest priority
was camaraderie I wanted to connect I
wanted to bring something of value to
the customer I wanted to think about the
customer I wanted to be myself and I
wanted to Market in a way that was
inclusive and created a
community and in that
Community we could do something more
than just sell
products and so we decided to sell that
company because they felt the same and
they wanted to do something based on
passion they wanted to have the energy
and excitement to see things through and
for three very different reasons we
decide to form Quest Nutrition now as I
mentioned I grew up in a morbidly obese
family so for
me I was never going to chase money
again and I told them that I was only
going to focus on value creation and it
had to be something that I had a deep
and personal connection to so for me I
started thinking every day about saving
my mom and my sister my mom and my
sister are both morbidly obese and have
been essentially my entire life and I
knew that I was going to lose them too
soon if I couldn't solve the problem of
how they ended up there I wanted to give
them food that they could choose based
on taste and it happened to be good for
them now if that doesn't sound hard let
me assure you that it is very hard and
there was one point in my life where we
were making the Bars by hand and it was
so hard and so painful that I would wake
up this is a true story I would wake up
in the middle of the night with my hands
cramping
closed that's a weird way to wake up let
me just tell you right
now but I wanted it that
bad now we started producing the bars in
Compton
and on the line this is another true
story on the line we had Bloods and
Crips and in the middle of it you got
the crazy white
guy now the reason it worked was because
I was prepared to outwork everybody else
I knew exactly what I wanted I had my
why I had my goal and it was very
specific and this is the thing about
goals they have to be incredibly
specific and my goal was to end
metabolic
disease not sell a lot of protein bars
that was not the goal I wanted to end
metabolic disease and that informed
every choice that we made as
entrepreneurs every time that we had to
answer a hard question one that might
impact profitability or how late we were
going to have to work or what we were
going to have to do and it almost always
was difficult including by the way we
had to become our own manufacturers
which we did not want to do we wanted to
Outsource it we just wanted to be
marketers but nobody would make the bar
for us or they would but they said that
we had to add sugar to it and we asked a
simple question will that help end
metabolic disease yes or no if yes we'll
do it if no we won't and it wouldn't so
we
didn't it starts with that specific
goal and then because I had my why my
hands cramping closed in the face of
doing something to save my mom and my
sister it was not a hard choice in fact
I wouldn't have been able to look myself
in the eye and say I was not able to
help them because it was hurting my
hands right it sounds ridiculous when
you say it like that but most people
don't have a personal tie to what
they're doing Mother Teresa has an
amazing quote no one will act for the
many but people will act for the
one and so as you guys go into your jobs
and you think about what you're trying
to do find a way to stop making it a job
find a way to make it a calling a
vocation something that really meets
that why your desire to connect or do
something great for people which by the
way when I say that the game that you're
playing is brain chemistry what I'm
talking about is
fulfillment there's a difference between
happiness and fulfillment a bowl of ice
cream brings me happiness it does not
bring me fulfillment fulfillment is
often born of suffering fulfillment is
about doing the things that are hard in
fact the Greeks have a word for it it's
called techne techne means that you
acquire a set of skills that is unique
to you the acquisition of those skills
was very difficult and here's the
important part those skills serve other
people to me I believe that the very
reason that we're all here is to see how
many skills we can acquire that have
utility and then put that utility to the
test in service of
others that's going to be the thing that
lights you on fire that you busting your
ass you're really getting good at
something you are taking action you're
moving forward you're doing the things
you need to learn to do to learn and
Trigger that adaptation response that
humans have you're putting yourself
under the stress you've identified a
goal you're working Your Way backwards
to where you are
today and that's the key it's what I
call minding the
Gap there's a gap between who you are
today and who you will need to become in
order to execute against your
why that thing in you that's burning
that you really care about enough to get
across the finish line that you care
about enough to keep doing even when
it's making your hands cramp closed that
you care about enough even when you've
got to come in and work between rival
gang members it's the thing that you
care about enough that you really will
work so
hard that the rival gang members fall in
line behind you because you're leading
by
example thank
you and that became my mission every day
I'm going to show up and outwork
everybody I'm going to be the first one
here I'm going to be the last one to
leave and most importantly guys I really
hope you were listening to Robert jini
whose books I have read and all but
memorized the key
is you want to connect with them you
want them to fall in love with you you
want them to be inspired you want them
to feel better about themselves when
they're around you than when they're
not and if you can pull that off they
will go to war for
you and in the beginning when all we
could do because we didn't know
production we just had to throw human
capital at it and I needed people there
not kidding at 2: a.m. on a Friday
night I had a bunch of ex-convicts in in
their early 20s with the tattoos on the
face the teardrop and all that grinding
it out to make protein
bars because I gave them
hope because I showed them that it
doesn't matter who they are
today it only matters who they're trying
to become and the price that they're
willing to pay to get
there and so when you guys walk out of
here that's what you've got to ask this
this whole theme of pivoting this whole
theme of keeping your
Center is about knowing what you
want and believing you can make it a
reality but the only way to make it a
reality is to put in the work you've got
to put in the work the change is hard
the change is difficult the change will
demand everything of you but man if
inside you really believe in what you're
doing you really see how you can get to
that goal that you want if you really
see how you can serve other people doing
what you do with this skill set that
you've worked your ass off to
acquire then you can actually make
change in people's lives and that's what
motivates me getting the skills has real
world implications it took me from
scaming in my couch cushions to find
enough change to put gas in my car to
building a billion- dooll
business it is absolutely Limitless what
you can accomplish
now think about that if that's really
true if what I just said is true that
human potential is
Limitless then how you spend your time
becomes a spiritual consideration you're
the average of The Five People You spend
the most time with that's just true and
but now it's become so common to say and
it's like every Instagram post that I
fear it's going to lose its meaning who
are you spending time with because if
you're spending time with people like
you you're spending time with people
like me I'm I'm raising you up or I'm
just not not going to spend time with
you so it's like now if you get in a mix
of people like that who are like man
we'd love for you to raise up to this
level but if you don't it's fine but
we're just not going to spend time with
you all of a sudden that desire to
belong to something powerful that you
can see is going to lead you to your
dreams and I remember saying to my wife
over and over and over they are the
shest path to my success I don't know
anything else I just know if I can hang
on to these guys they're going to make
me better and so that was through all
the years of being embarrassed and
developing actually massive anxiety
because I was always behind I was always
the dumbest person on the phone I was
always the dumbest person in the room
and it was like was I going to be
willing to emotionally go through that
to get great and most people can't so
here's the thing now imagine I'm not the
only person they said hey this is a
startup you can have any job you want
they I I saw 12 people maybe more come
and go over the years they just couldn't
emotionally deal with it and so I
remember thinking to myself why is it
that I'm able to do this and the answer
was I could self soothe faster than any
one else so I would get kicked in the
face and I would do something really
dumb I'd be called an idiot told how
stupid I was and then I'd just be like
all right I need to reenter and that
just became my obsession I need to be
able to emotionally get back to complete
neutral so fast that you don't even see
it register on my face how you do it how
do you do that literally practicing so
remember at the same time I'm reading
about the brain voraciously I'm reading
about people that understand human
behavior I'm getting into cognitive
science Neuroscience like really going
into it so I'm reading all this stuff
going whoa we're just a chemical
processing plant there are physiological
hooks into these chemicals so hey if
you're mad scared whatever but you force
yourself to laugh out loud you will
change your neurochemical state and you
literally your experience is the
neurochemistry so I was like whoa so I
could get I could be in a situation
where I'm being berated or or I
legitimately mess up and it costs money
and it's like whoa that's on me and it
is nobody's bad of my own and I realize
that what most people do their strategy
is to deflect it it's your fault it's
not my fault yes so I started thinking
of this as a metaphor people are
throwing gold at me they're throwing it
really hard and I can put a shield up
and deflect it but then I lose that
piece of gold if I drop my shield and
just take the pain let it hit me in the
head then I bend down and go this thing
which was me being stupid there's a
lesson here and now I have this piece of
gold but the whole thing is I have to be
defenseless so I have to own it I have
to take it I can't fight if someone is
like this to this day if our team is
like hey there's something we need to
point out to you I'll do this wow I
square up to it I want them to know like
hey I want to hear it I want to know
like I want to be literally physically
open I'm not going to close down I'm
going to do everything I can to square
off to open myself so that they know I'm
receptive to the criticism right because
that's the Nugget of gold what I know is
it's going to hurt it's going to sting
but if I can emotionally reenter so fast
you don't even see that I went through
something now I can just process how do
I take this information you've given me
and get better everything in my life is
driven by how something makes me feel
and I really believe all you have in
this world is how you feel about
yourself when you're by yourself so in
that dark quiet night when you're all
alone do you feel good or not and so I
steer by that and when I start losing
sleep because something is stressing me
out or I think I handled something
poorly I have to correct that and what
are the tactics so part of this is you
have a belief system through which
everything is filtered so my thing is
okay belief system I can get good at
anything I set my mind to uh belief
system number two having a growth
mindset is the absolute ideal so that
means that just because I'm not good at
something now doesn't mean I can't
become good at it that I should only
value myself for being a learner I
shouldn't worry about being smart right
good talented nothing just the
willingness to stare nakedly at my
inadequacies so if I've done something
and it's making me feel badly about
myself I start running through those
filters also does this beating myself up
is it moving me towards my goal or away
from it now a little bit of beating
yourself up actually probably does move
you towards your goal cuz it kicks you
in the ass and gets you moving taking it
seriously you're really thinking about
but then too much of it begins to erode
yourself and so I have to balance like
am I just beating myself up and now I've
taken it too far and I'm losing sleep
over something I just need to let go and
focus on getting better instead of
punishing myself like just get better at
it um so those those are the tactics
that I use the word yet is a huge tactic
for me Tom you suck oh I'm not good at
that yet okay cool thank you got it um I
can get good at that um and and just
keep coming back to those very simple
basic building blocks of my belief
system
what I value where my priorities lie
what my goal is having total Clarity am
I actually moving towards it and then
just really holding yourself accountable
to that without damaging your
self-esteem one of my like guiding
principles is never do anything that
diminishes you and then never do
anything that moves you away from your
goal so again goal you have to have that
Clarity so I know what I'm trying to do
okay well if I know what I'm trying to
do does beating me beating myself up
over this is that going to help me or
hurt me oh it's going to hurt me because
I'm going to be more likely to slide
toward depression to think less of
myself to be less bold to take less
action okay well then we're not going to
do that and I don't think people have
researched cognitive behavioral therapy
nearly enough pattern interrupting is
like everything get better at pattern
interrupting than LeBron is at shooting
like you just have to be a ninja like
you've got to be so hardcore you've got
to know about how to do that with
yourself so if I have a negative thought
that's recurring I just tell myself nope
you can't think this anymore so and
every time it will come up because I
can't stop myself from it popping up
into my conscious mind but you
absolutely can control how the next
thought goes the next thought can be oh
I'm here's what I'll do with a negative
thought that's so rad I'm so glad this
negative thought appeared in my mind
because that reminds me to be grateful
for the fact that I'm friends with j
shete or that reminds me to be grateful
of the fact I have a marriage that is so
insanely cool that like I legitimately
some days have to stop myself from just
curling up in a ball with her and just
chilling all [ __ ] day like that is
I'm super stoked even now it's so funny
I had to stop and think wait I'm going
through this list of things that I'm
grateful for what started this and I'm
like oh yeah the negative thought like
that actually just happened to me right
now so you can imagine in real life when
like you train yourself ah every time
the negative thought kicks up don't
don't sit in the emotion of the
negativity that it will bring instead
use it as a habit Loop trigger to think
about something you're grateful for and
at first it feels so awkward and it's
like the negative thought just keeps
coming back but if you're diligent and
suddenly negative thoughts become a Loop
trigger to gratitude to positivity to
repeating your rules about I don't allow
myself to think things that tear me down
so I'm not going to think about that
even just saying that crowds out that
thought and telling other people that
hey this is what you're doing it is
unbelievable but this is why I'm saying
I'm literally just a patchwork of all
these like tools and techniques that
allow me to protect myself from negative
selft talk from anxiety from depression
I don't think I've ever officially been
in depression U but I've been super
[ __ ] close enough to know the feeling
of staring into the void which I don't
think is accurate it feels like the void
is collapsing in around you and just
everything is meaningless and it is all
utterly hopeless and I've had just
enough of a glimpse of how hopeless that
is to to get where people are in those
moments but anxiety that I've been in
the thick of so that one I know and I've
used CBT uh cognitive behavioral therapy
to do interrupts on that um I have a
very well-developed negative voice so I
have had to um use tools and techniques
to stop that I never would have become a
successful entrepreneur if I couldn't um
learn to self soothe and at one point
that was what I would have said was my
secret power that my secret power in
business was I can self soothe faster
than anybody
else I just keep coming back to being
the learner right so your identity isn't
group a politic this politic that tribe
this tribe that it is I'm a learner
first and foremost I'm somebody that
wants to bring value to myself and to
the world first and foremost so it's
like once you get to that then as people
are assaulting you chances of them
triggering a
self-esteem like in like if somebody
wanted to hurt my self-esteem they would
need to call me out on on are you really
spending time learning or have you
really improved I think you're the same
that you were two years ago like whoa
like if I really like you said felt that
that might be true then I would really
that would call some [ __ ] into question
for me because that's my
right if somebody came to you and said
actually you're not a learner for me
where my belief is now that's so
absurdist that I would brush it off but
if they were able to like compel me to
see it the funny thing is being a
learner then kicks in again and I'm like
[ __ ] if they're really right then here's
my chance to finally actually be a
learner but so that's why I think that
one's anti fragile but that's where it's
like you can get yourself into trouble
if they're hitting on the very thing
that your identity and self-esteem are
tied to recognizing that brain
plasticity is real and so much of who we
are let's say it's roughly science says
it's roughly 50% that's not me making it
up that 50% is hardwired and you're not
going to be able to do anything about it
but 50% is insanely malleable and um I
love this quote so great that you can't
make a race horse out of a pig but you
can make a really fast Pig and I thought
Okay cool so maybe I'll never be a
racehorse but I can be a really fast Pig
and so whenever I'm feeling badly about
myself or something knocks me off center
I just come back to that idea of what's
useful how do you move forward like even
if you're not going to be the greatest
of all time does it benefit you to act
as if you could become the greatest of
all time if you pour yourself into it
and so I don't know that I'll ever end
up being the greatest anything but dude
acting like I can and like really
practicing and moving through the world
like I can become the greatest has
propelled me forward yeah because acting
like you can't won't get you there yeah
won't make you good probably or great if
you're constantly obsessing over why I'm
not good enough or why I'll never become
great so acting like you can at least
gives you a much better chance of
getting somewhere there nowhere 100%
it's what I call the only belief that
matters the only belief that matters is
that if I put time and energy into
getting a new skill I actually will get
better at that thing and if you then
extrapolate that and say and skills
actually have utility they matter so
knowing how to build a business that
doesn't fall or build a business build a
building that doesn't fall down is very
very useful or a build a business that
doesn't fall apart yeah that too right
so those skills actually let you do
things and so that's become sort of my
obsession is getting people to
understand you don't read a book to
check a box you don't go to school to
impress your parents you do it because
the skill that you will acquire lets you
do something in the world that other
people can't do or you wouldn't be able
to do and that has a material impact on
your life yeah I feel like you and I are
very similar in the fact that we talk
about skills a lot acquiring new skills
and I think when you have a down phase
or a break down phase that's when you
should think about what are the skills
I'm lacking that could benefit me so
this doesn't happen
again everybody lean in if you're
listening to this this is one of those
things that audacity is is nothing don't
don't worry about being audacious the
reason people fear being audacious is
they don't want to be me 10 years from
now when this all fails right they're
thinking oh man what if this doesn't
work this guy's going to look like an
[ __ ] and it's like yeah maybe other
people will think that I'm a total
dumbass it doesn't matter and why
doesn't it matter because of Techni
because if I know how to build a house I
can build a house so my thing is I'm not
trying to posture or be cool I'm telling
you I have a set of [ __ ] skills that
set of skills lets me do things I'm just
interested in doing those things so
whether or not I hit my timelines does
not matter I'm in the skill acquisition
game skills let you do things I'm in the
game of doing the things that my skills
allow me to do so I want to impact
people's lives maybe I'm not able to
pull it off at a film level I'll find
another way or maybe it takes me a lot
longer to pull it off okay fine as long
as I love what I'm doing even when I'm
failing there's nothing to lose no
because you know on this idea of Techni
along the way you are fulfilled with
every step on the journey right every
time you upload a new you know
conversation new episode of your show
it's a it's a it's a cool feeling to be
able to put that out there and know that
it is quote unquote you know impacting
people and it is it is and that's the
thing you know this like you you say
something into a microphone
like right now the the feeling that I
have well I know people are listening
the feeling I have is it's just us in
this room but one day somebody's going
to come up to you or me and say I heard
that podcast you guys did and it really
touched me and it changed me in this way
that's all I need so I'm not I'm not
afraid to be audacious because I know
that you're never going to exceed what
you're aiming at so your only your hope
is to hit some percentage of what you're
aiming at so I might as well dream
massive and one it excites me and then
two I'm not afraid of the failure so
once you have that like oh it's exciting
for me to dream big and I'm
hyperconscious of you break it down in
small pieces like I'm I'm not worried
about building theme parks and all that
stuff right now what I'm doing right now
today is make a good comic put out a
good interview show that's it that's
what my life consist of stay in business
be profitable like those are the things
that I think about so I keep my you know
my goals my immediate term goals very
manageable but I make sure that they're
feeding naturally into the Grand Vision
but I don't get scared or lost and
thinking oh my God I have to do all that
NOP right now today I need to read a
script I need to make sure it's okay I
need to authorize it to be drawn that's
it that's today and as long as you're
able to focus on that and get good at
that and then just always push yourself
to make your skill set better and better
and better as long as it's leading
towards that thing and you have Clarity
on where you're trying to go so you make
sure the skills you're requiring will
actually lead you there you'd be fine I
love the mindset stuff I love it and
it's changed my life and I love watching
somebody's eyes light up when they get
it for the first time and so I created
impact Theory University and it is the
book but in lecture form yeah and so
I've already created that stuff now I
know that I would open up a much bigger
Market if I were to make the book so
that those people could go oh my God
this stuff is lifechanging and then I
say you like the book you'll love impact
Theory University sign up today and it
would quintuple our business overnight I
I can pretty much guarantee it
when you say no to something that comes
with a lot of zeros you do so because of
your value system and what I value when
I think about Tom Bilu on his deathbed
if I may speak in the third person I
think of myself on my deathbed I don't
regret not writing the book but I regret
tremendously not telling stories because
I
think if I want to impact 100% of the
world 2% of them can be impacted with
what we're doing right now where you say
think like this act like this it will
make your life better and 2% will do it
it's amazing now I don't mean 2% of your
audience your audience is the 2% they've
selected themselves out they watch your
show so now some ungodly number of them
are going to go out and do it because
they belong to that very rare group The
98% though they will not and the I
became obsessed with this because
working at Quest I had 3,000 employees a
thousand of them grew up in the inner
cities and many of them could process
raw data faster than I could they were
smarter than me but they had done
nothing with their life and they were
not going to do anything with their life
not that would be remembered or anything
that even they valued right and when I
boiled down to why not it came down to
they didn't have a growth mindset they
didn't have the only belief that matters
so I thought okay well how do I get it
to them so I we created a quest
University and I would show up early I
would stay late I would tell anybody
anything they wanted to know about
mindset building a business whatever and
2% of them did it and it was
life-changing and it's amazing and I
still get phone calls from people like
you changed my life I mean amazing but
it's only 2% the other 98% are either
apathetic or actively antagonistic to
change so how do you reach them
entertainment the punchline is you have
to get to the limic system which you do
through entertainment so you tell them
stories TV movies
yeah I really believe that the way that
humans assimilate truly disruptive
information is through narrative and so
part of the way that I've changed my
life that I've opened my mind to things
like a growth mindset is through like
the matrix it's not a mistake that the
Matrix came out the year that I was
going through this like am I able to
improve myself or not the movie comes
out ends up becoming the dominant
metaphor of my life I'd love to say that
it was a lightning rod moment when I saw
it my life has changed forever it wasn't
like that but it planted a seed that I
just kept coming back to oh man this
like Neo in The Matrix oh man and you
just start piecing together like these
fascinating belief systems because a lot
of times the wisest characters in films
are often taken from like Yoda sounds
exactly like loudu from the daing Y so
it's like basically you've got George
Lucas who's very familiar with Eastern
philosophy talking Eastern philosophy
through this little puppet but
especially if you hear it when you're
young man like your mind is really open
to it so because of Star Wars I end up
becoming obsessed with the doub ising
and then because of that that ultimately
was my doorway to a growth
mindset if there were only three books
you could recommend to people that this
all the books they could read in their
life this is the hardest thing probably
but if you were like three books to live
a better life to understand the world
and to just Thrive what would you say of
those three books it's not a hard
question but it's one that I I'm sure I
will answer differently every time
somebody asks uh number one is mindset
by Carol D great it's the most important
book in the English language uh number
two is the obstacle is the way by Ryan
holiday which is an absolutely
extraordinary book and then number three
is Extreme ownership by willink he's
great and Leif Babin shout out to Leif
the first is read the book mindset by
Carol dck period it's it it's so
critical man and it just lays the
foundation for how to think um that
that's step number one step number two
is you will only ever get in your life
what you absolutely must have your
absolute obsession is it you that says
your obsessions become your possessions
that is so true and so getting people to
understand that that level of like I
must have this until it is that like
whatever it is if it's taking care of
your wife if it's doing something rad
for your mom if it's having a beach
house whatever it is until it you need
that like you need oxygen you won't get
it it it is going to demand so much of
you you're going to fall so many times
there's going to be so many obstacles
and unless it must happen in your life
one of them will make you stop like you
said you can't be for sale like if your
will can be bought mhm it doesn't make
you a bad person man it really doesn't
but if your will can be bought you're
just not going to get it
it's all your
fault everything every bad thing that
has ever happened to you is your fault
and if tonight a meteorite comes
screaming through the atmosphere crashes
into my bedroom and kills my wife I will
know that that is my fault now I use the
word fault to shake people up I know
that it's making you mad right now I
know that it winds you up and you think
that I'm victim shaming and when you get
beyond that and you realize all I'm
trying trying to do is remind you that
you are never ever ever ever a victim
unless you choose to be everything in
your life will change you're always in
control even if that's a lie and I don't
care if it is even if a meteorite coming
in and killing my wife couldn't possibly
be my fault I'm going to own it because
the second I give away my power to
somebody else I'm now at something
else's mercy and there is some line that
I can't cross that I'm no longer in
control and I refuse to do that um if I
could give anybody a gift it would be
that for you to own that completely top
to bottom and to know that every good
thing that's ever happened in your life
no matter how much it seemed like luck
or coincidence that was you you earned
that you put yourself in that position
and as you move forward life is one of
two things the result you wanted or the
result you didn't want if you don't get
the result you want you are by
definition doing the wrong thing and you
must change if you get the result that
you want then you did the right thing
simple as No Gray nothing in between
that's it it's all your fault and that's
the best news possible I don't think
that thinking something or saying
something makes it true but I think that
thinking something and saying something
makes you believe it and the things you
believe you will unintentionally guide
yourself towards um I think your belief
about yourself and what you're capable
of influences your accomplishments more
than you can imagine just because you
don't put in the extra mile of effort or
whatever that it was going to take
because you don't believe that you can
or you don't even allow yourself to
dream it and if you don't dream it
you're never going to come up with a
plan so it it is wildly influential in
terms of what happens just not in a
mystical way in a very like tactical you
just end up either doing or not doing
the things that you should to me
greatness is leaving it all out on the
field like you can't guarantee results
but you can guarantee like did you
really play to win and this is something
that I am heartbroken for other people
if they're not playing to win and the
only reason to not play to win is if you
don't think you can win and you value
yourself for winning so my thing is
maybe I can't win I think the odds are
actually against me building the next
Disney but it's such a fun game to play
because I only value myself for the
sincere Pursuit so greatness to me is
not about achieving something it's about
playing all out sincerely
pursuing so I'm chasing money for 8 and
a half years my Mantra is I want to get
rich that's it you better get rich
father-in-law wants you rich you
promised you're going to get you always
wanted to be rich when you were young
100% And so and that didn't that wasn't
a dirty word for me I didn't understand
people who were conflicted about money I
was like it's powerful so I want to get
rich and and I just made it all about
that and so for six and a half of those
years I didn't take days off even when
we would go to London for Christmas I
had like a video camera that would allow
well this is actually slightly in the
future but a great example I would take
a video camera that would let me watch
the production line at Quest oh my God
so like that kind of obsess of like I'm
all in back in the technology company
same kind of thing but I would either be
working on the tech company or trying to
start other companies at night so we
talk a lot about we had like five or six
companies fail all side hustles but it
was like we just kept trying to learn
and figure this out and so growing in
that becoming better understanding
marketing helping Elevate the company
really rising up to a peer status
watching other people fall away because
they couldn't emotionally hang in the
environment and yeah then they made me
the I didn't ask for a raise for 5 years
I was like I want to be I want to be so
value that they feel gross for what
they're paying me and so because I
wanted the equity I didn't want the I
didn't want the salary so I was like
dude I'm in this for the equity you
don't have to worry about me Equity
Equity Equity I just kept it on their
mind like hey you said that was a
possibility I want you to know that
means everything to me and that's why
I'm here and so hit the 6 and a half
year mark I'm 10% owner in the company
and I'm completely miserable and I've
burned out and I realize that
entrepreneurship had given given given
it was making me stronger bigger faster
and now it was beginning to take away
because I didn't care about the product
I didn't love what we were doing I
wasn't passionate I was just chasing
money and money just wasn't that
interesting at that point on paper we
both know the difference between paper
money and real money right but on paper
I was a multi-millionaire and I went in
and I said guys here's your Equity back
I I'm quitting um I'm not crossing the
finish line so I don't think I should
get anything for this and it actually
ended up being like a really cathartic
moment where we could all say what we'd
been feeling which is yet none of us are
happy and so it became well if we're
going to keep doing this if we're going
to keep building businesses because by
then it was very clear to me the
struggle is guaranteed the success is
not and so I'm going to go do something
I love and they agreed they felt the
same so we said okay well what would we
build that we would love even if we were
failing and so for three very different
reasons that became a nutrition company
and for me it was I grew up in a
morbidly obese family my uncle
essentially ate himself to death when I
was 12 years old and it was scary and
sad my mom is morbidly obese has been my
entire life my sister's morbidly obese
has been almost her entire life um my
dad at one point was morbidly obese and
then lost weight but it was like that's
just where my family lived and so I was
like they're going to die far sooner
than they need to and there's this great
Mother Teresa quote nobody will act for
the many but people will act for the one
and so I just needed to wake up every
day and think about my mom and my sister
and that was it and I thought I can show
up every day and fight for them it's not
about the money anymore I can fight for
them and look we a lot of business
Acumen went into this this was not just
we had good intentions and it built a
big business it was we understood
business right I'd now been in business
for 8 and a half years grinding it out
building this technology company which
was hard as hell yeah and but now we
were able to marry that and by the way
we took the um tech company through the
recession and everything so I mean it
was like i' taking some knocks so we
really understood business at this point
and so now we were going to start
something predicated entirely on value
creation that was like our Mantra
doesn't matter what's more profitable M
matters what adds more value and so so
we we literally were saying these things
and we also we didn't actually throw our
hands in a pile of wish we had be a
cooler story but like all but that said
and each of us needs to have fun every
day what makes you
happy the the easy answer and and the
most truthful answer is time with my
wife the other answer to what makes me
happy there's really two things so time
with my wife and then the pursuit which
I'll put in all caps right so the
pursuit of whatever the pursuit of
getting better the pursuit of impacting
the world the pursuit of building
something big that that matters the
pursuit maybe I never get it I don't
care about that I care about the pursuit
I care about whether sincerely I'm
actually trying to make it happen not
bullshitting not just like empty dreams
but like for real I'm actually giving
myself over to this and I've spent a lot
of time in the inner cities I big
brothered for this one kid for eight and
a half years completely changed my life
and then having 1,400 employees and
about a thousand of which grew up hard
in the inner cities hard I mean most of
them grew up in Compton I mean it was
just some of the most extraordinary
stories I've ever heard and I realized
those people are as extraordinary as
anybody Barack Obama um Oprah Winfrey um
Tony Robbins like they all those same
raw materials exist in people in the
inner cities that nobody believes in
nobody think will'll ever go anywhere
and they won't because they don't
believe in themselves and so we were
talking at our most honest like what
what are we really driven by and and I'm
driven by that moment of Awakening which
I had in my own life where I finally
realize wait I can learn new things so
just because I'm not good today doesn't
mean I can't be good tomorrow and and
that filled me with so much excitement I
want to see that in other people and I
want to see what the world looks like
when other people realize wait a second
that Steve Jobs quote that the world is
made by people no smarter than you is
actually true and so if you're believing
that these people are smarter than you
because you did bad on your SATs I'm
just going to tell you right now stop so
you can develop yourself so my session
became that humans are the ultimate
adaptation machine we are literally
Wired from the ground up in order to
grow and improve under stress and
pressure so it's like What's the phrase
uh pressure can burst pipes but it also
creates diamonds so it's like you need
the pressure and yes it can hurt but it
can also make something amazing if
you're willing to put yourself in that
situation so it's a weird twist of fate
that humans um to in order to build the
muscle you first have to tear it right
yes so H but once you accept that that's
how works you can do extraordinary
things today we are going to be talking
all about dealing with disappointment
this is something I know a lot about I'm
sure all of you know a lot about this
but there is a way to get over it and to
make sure that we don't waste any time
stuck in that period of disappointment
we may need to do a period of mourning
but that we don't allow ourselves to get
stuck there we're able to mourn move
past it and get going again all right
first question is how do I stop myself
from beating myself up for trying to do
something that failed miserably and then
continuing to overthink everything about
what happened thank you so much for any
advice and assistance that you can
provide okay here is how to
conceptualize failure and the
disappointment that goes along with it
once you understand that what the human
animal is designed to do is learn then
you have to ask yourself if what has
made the human animal the most Apex of
apex predators the world has ever seen
the most capable completely changing its
environment what is it that allows them
to learn fast and the answer is failure
now the reason that failure is truly
useful and I'm not just saying that to
make you or myself feel better in fact I
wish that it wasn't the way to learn the
fastest but the reality is the reason
that it works so well is that when you
fail you trigger areas of the brain that
are focused
on memory and focus so you've got the
memory side so you're going to remember
this you've got the pain this does not
feel good I do not want to go through
this again so you've got that which
heightens your emotions which makes you
more likely to remember this thing
moving forward and then it also Narrows
your attention so you're really looking
at why did this go wrong and when you
have this sense of I never want to
repeat this and you're looking very
closely at why did this go wrong now all
of the sudden failures because of what
it does to your brain and quite frankly
because you're in the mix you're trying
things things and we learn better from
doing than from reading about it or
hearing about it so failures suddenly
become the most information Rich data
stream on planet Earth heightens your
likelihood of remembering and it focuses
you in on exactly what's the problem so
now even though failing sucks part of
what makes it valuable is that it sucks
in fact it may suck in order to make it
valuable let that sink in that nature
went huh when this happens in order for
this to be useful for this animal for
this evolutionary creature I need to
make sure that it becomes advantageous
so that as they make mistakes assuming
that they don't get eaten by a lion I
want to make sure that they don't put
themselves in that position again and so
we have to learn from some method and
the method that gets us moving taking
action trying things feeling the pain
focusing that's going to be the thing
that we're going to get the most
takeaways from so now as you reframe
what f failure is failure is not proof
that you're a
loser failure is the process by which
you become better okay failure is not
the process that reveals that you're a
loser failure is the process by which
you become better that is the name of
failure so now when you fail why would
you beat yourself up over it it's the
nature of progress itself there is no
way to get better without failing it's
the fastest way it is the most effective
way it is necessary you have to do it
and by the way for you to have failed at
something you showed the courage to try
it so instead of wasting time beating
yourself up over the fact that something
went wrong we're going to say that's the
nature of progress we have to try
something it's not going to work as well
as we wanted to or I may fall flat on my
face I may outright embarrass myself and
if I let that break me I will fail to
learn the
lesson but if I do what nature is
compelling me to do and I focus on what
went wrong why did this happen because I
never want to go through this again you
stack enough of those what went wrong I
never want to go through this again
enough of those together and you
actually get good and translating
potential into skill set is the name of
the game and you will never do that more
efficiently then you will through
failure and mistakes so allowing
yourself to wallow in disappointment
doesn't make any sense it's the learning
process this is what you have to do in
order to get good so there's no reason
to spend a lot of time being
disappointed you brush yourself off you
pick yourself up you dust yourself off
and you get going that's it that is the
physics of progress how do you
restructure yourself and your goals
after falling off of a designated path
should goals be fixed or malleable
depending on the journey undertaken all
right first of all everything in life is
ultimately
malleable to some extent we are not
blank slades so you can't just
infinitely change yourself but things
are pretty changeable uh as Heather
hying says we are not a blank slate but
we are the blankest of slates and I
think that's the right way to look at it
so here's how I break it down I've got
my mission my North Star my like proper
goal the thing I'm trying to
do then I have what most people think of
as goals which are are the paths so I
want to win a gold medal in the Olympics
that's a goal maybe I think I'm going to
win a gold medal in gymnastics but I
find that I can't pull it off I aged out
and I never quite got there and so I
switch over to archery I'm making this
up but this archery is actually an event
where you can be successful deeper into
your life the goal win a gold medal at
the Olympics the path swimming tennis
archery whatever and so I'm going to be
flexible on what my path is now in
business man let me tell you I'm trying
to build the next Disney all right rad
now the path to get there I wouldn't
have told you two years ago was going to
be nfts and now nfts is a huge part of
my strategy so the goal of pulling
people out of the Matrix at scale using
storytelling that remains true and
that's why I'm building the next Disney
so that's my goal that's my mission
that's my Northstar that's what I'm
trying to do now do I do that through
YouTube videos do I do that through um
nfts do I do it through getting a show
on Netflix what's it going to be I don't
really care to be honest I want to do
what is e whatever is most efficient and
effective at getting me to the goal
which is to pull people out of the
Matrix at scale through storytelling
okay so you have to learn to
differentiate between your
mission and the path to get there
because because you could say that my
goal is to um let's say make a in fact 5
years ago I would have told you that I
want to have printed comics and comic
book stores and absolutely killing it I
want one of those Comics to be turned
into a major motion picture um that you
know ends up in theaters and that would
be one path but now I'm like I want to
do an nft forget about printed Comics
they are absolutely laughable uh we do
web comics now but that was a whole big
transition that wouldn't have
anticipated so that was already one
switch of some would say goal I would
say path now nfts has become a huge part
of that and so not focusing on the web
comics in isolation but the web comics
and how they can feed into the nfts or
even nfts can feed into the comics and
then how we translate that ultimately
into let's say a series that's going to
end up on streaming okay so a lot of the
elements if you'd asked me five years
ago would have sounded very different
than they sound now so I don't think of
of that is um I would never want those
to be fixed where it's either I get
printed Comics to work or I don't it's
like you get in there and if it doesn't
make sense anymore there was a whole
host of reasons why it didn't make sense
to pursue printed Comics but I didn't
know until I failed at printed Comics so
that's another thing to think about
because by getting in there trying it
and seeing what the problems were I was
like wow why would anybody do this this
does not make sense this is absolutely
Antiquated this is the past I want to be
involved in the future
but I needed to get in there and do it
and until I did that I wasn't going to
be able to figure those things out I
couldn't think my way through that
problem I had to feel my way through
that problem so that's really the key
my North Star my mission that's pretty
static and I won't say that it never
changes because it was at when I was at
Quest it was ending metabolic disease I
moved over to impact Theory and it
became pulling people out of the Matrix
at scale using stories okay so two
different things um was able to Pivot
that but now once I'm in there until I
give up on my North Star which something
absolutely major would have to happen
meaning I would have to believe it is no
longer worthy of pursuit now if I
believe it is no longer worthy of
pursuit then I will change it or I'm not
having fun pursuing it whatever the case
may
be but my paths my paths are just
questions of Good Sense what's working
what's not working what can I change to
get there more efficiently more
effectively so don't allow yourself to
get bogged down in a path which should
be easily discarded but don't give up
easily on a mission which should be far
more
firm all right next up what should
someone do when trying to make a career
out of passion and that
fails the answer is what do you mean
fails so we've already covered that
failure is a key part of the process of
progress so I think a key Insight that
will help is that if you want to achieve
anything significant in your life you
have to understand that it's a game of
attrition okay it's a game of attrition
what do I mean by that most people quit
it isn't that the people that end up
winning never failed it's that they
didn't quit when they failed now why do
people quit when they fail it isn't
because they lose money that hurts
that's going to make it harder but
that's not why they quit why they quit
is it becomes emotionally devastating
and they're not able to reenter
themselves self soothe remind themselves
why they started right that norstar the
mission why am I doing this why do I
care about this to reorient themselves
around I care about this for a reason it
is bigger than myself this is not just
about money I'm here to add value to
help people to elevate whatever trust me
you want to attach yourself to that
because when you you're doing something
that only stands to benefit you it won't
have the motivating factor that helping
yourself and other people is going to
have definitely want to help yourself
but you also want to help other people
and when you have a Northstar goal
mission that is that it's what I call
honorable and exciting okay it's
honorable and that it elevates not only
yourself but other people it's exciting
you're just into it whether you should
be or not as irrelevant you are into it
and it serves Humanity okay when you
have that goal that's exciting and
honorable now all of a sudden when you
quote unquote fail you're just asking
yourself am I still into this do I still
love this is this still my passion
because if it is I'm going to get back
up and keep going I'm not going to quit
I'm not going to allow myself to be
another one of those people that when
they fail and it hurts that they just
give up don't let that be you there is a
phenomenal quote from Winston Churchill
and it goes like this
success is the ability to go from
failure to failure to failure without a
loss of
enthusiasm
now when you can go from failure to
failure to failure without losing your
passion you're really on to
something but that's going to be up to
you because there's not going to be
anybody there to encourage you to coach
you to push you on you have to do it
yourself and so you've got to do the
work of making sure that you're really
connected on a deep emotional level to
that thing that you're
pursuing now if you do
that then that real passion and belief
will be there waiting for you when the
absolute gripping sting of failure
occurs because at that moment you're
going to ask yourself one question we
all do it why am I doing this
and if you don't have a compelling
answer you will
quit but if you have a compelling answer
and you really are passionate about this
thing then it's just about self soothing
and recognizing that failure is part of
the game and so we pick ourselves
up Square ourselves off and get moving
again and that is the only
way to succeed how do you discern
preventable mistakes from ones we simply
could not at the time with the knowledge
we have how do we truly appreciate and
learn the lessons of these failures okay
so I wouldn't worry so much about
whether a mistake was preventable or not
because that implies you want to know
when you should beat yourself up for the
mistake and when you shouldn't the only
thing that you should be doing when you
make a mistake is learning immediately
go into learn mode assume everything is
quote unquote your fault that all of
this could have been prevented if you
had made a different decision but we're
we're not going to punch ourselves in
the mouth over this we simply want to
understand okay what could I have done
differently to get a result that I
wanted because to me there is an answer
to did I make the right or wrong
decision and it goes like this if you
made the right decision it moved you
closer to your goal if you made the
wrong decision it held you neutral or
moved you away from your goal once you
understand everything just goes to that
filter now it's just oh okay cool so
this was a wrong choice in that it held
me neutral or moved me away from my goal
and if either of those who two things is
true it doesn't say that I'm a bad
person or I'm a loser or I'm a failure
it just says what I tried didn't work
now if what I tried didn't work my next
question is what could I have done that
would have worked or at least had a
higher likelihood of working now to do
that you have to completely take
responsibility this did not work because
I made the wrong decision and it was the
wrong decision for this reason now when
you can do that and say that sentence
without feeling badly about yourself
because you're going to push back you're
not going to want it to be your fault
you're going to want it to be anybody
else's fault but when you do that you
failed to learn the lesson which means
you failed in vain which means you're
not going to get anything out of that
other than emotional distress you're
going to have to constantly try to wall
yourself off from the reality when on
the other hand you Embrace
that this really is important I have to
figure out to get to my goal I have to
figure out what to do differently so by
owning it you keep the control you
recognize that you can do something
different and then it's just all about
figuring out what that next thing is so
don't worry about um whether you should
have known better any of that because if
you fail even if you couldn't have known
better how is that helpful you just need
to figure out cool what can I do next
time what can I do next time how do I
start again more intelligently that
should be the only question on your
lips next how do you deal with the time
lost from failure especially when you
have nothing to show for that time for
example I just got rejected from a job
that would have changed my life but now
I have to spend upwards of three to five
years just to get to that level of
income experience somewhere else okay
that's not true so right now the only
path you see before you makes it seem
like it's going to require you 3 to 5
years just to get to that level of
income experience but let's remember we
had that opportunity present itself once
before who says it's not going to
present itself again tomorrow now the
fact that we didn't get that
role that's what we have to figure out
why not and what can we do next time to
ensure that we do there's a great quote
I forget who it's by forgive me but it
goes this is a paraphrase but it goes
like this luck is like a bus and another
bus is going to come five minutes later
the question is do you have the fair to
get on the bus that [ __ ] is dope once
you want understand that luck favors the
prepared meaning that the people who are
quote unquote lucky are the ones that
actually had the skill set to take
advantage of that luck and that's why
the awesome way to think about it is
like a bus there's going to be another
one coming all the time they're
constantly coming but if you can never
get on one because you don't have the
skill set to take advantage then you're
never going to be quote unquote lucky
even though all of those opportunities
have presented themselves so this is
really a question of skill set now I
promise you if you gave me three to five
years and pointed me at whatever it is
that you're trying to do I Would by
Leaps and Bounds I'm going to try to get
there in six months so if we really
think it's going to take five years I'm
going to try to get that good at that
thing in six months and I will just tell
you I have a history of being able to
pull that off now why am I better am I
smarter no I am definitely not remember
I'm the guy whose mother quietly assumed
I was going to fail my best friend said
I just assumed you were going to
marshmallow your way through life my now
father-in-law when I asked for his
Blessing to marry his daughter he said
no these were not people that
misidentified me they had accurately
identified me but what they didn't
factor in is that I could change and so
I just set about turning my potential
into actual skill set so instead of
being somebody with a lot of potential
like we all are I became a person with a
lot of skill set and that skill set I
have leveraged to do extraordinary
things with my life but it was a lot of
[ __ ] hard work around one making
massive demands of myself so not
allowing myself to say oh my God this is
going to take 3 to 5 years [ __ ] that it
might take the average person who's not
willing to do what I'm willing to do 3
to 5 years I'm going to spend way more
time and I'm going to be constantly
owning everything in my life so that I
can get better I can try different
things new things I'm going to stare
nakedly at my inadequacies and figure
out why did I get rejected I will ask
hey guys out of curiosity and trust me I
have thick skin it would really be
powerful to me and my
career if you could tell me
what made you choose somebody else what
was it about me and I can take anything
if I don't seem educated enough
knowledgeable enough I'm not uh I don't
speak fast enough I'm not funny enough
whatever I just want to know the truth
you hated my shoes I just want to know
the truth and you'll be surprised people
will actually give you an answer may not
be the full totally unfiltered answer
but they'll usually give you some pretty
useful information if you make it clear
that that's what you want you don't want
them to pull punches and that this is
really something designed to help you
get better and that's the key and if you
can make them see that boom you're Off
to the Races but in all of this you've
got to really want it you got to really
want it and you have to be willing to
fail over and over and over because
success is going from failure to failure
to failure without a loss of
enthusiasm and there it is that's how we
do it that's how we avoid while
following and disappointment that's how
we put ourselves back together and get
going and learn and learn at a
supercharged rate failure is your
greatest
teacher but you have to be willing to
admit you've made a
mistake and that's it if you can do that
oh my God the universe will open up to
you never
Retreat never
explain get it done and let them
howl and that's the point get it done do
the
thing the accomplishment is what you're
after the performance is your
opportunity
it doesn't matter what other people
think it doesn't matter if they want you
to win it doesn't matter if they
actively want you to lose what matters
is building that set of skills becoming
capable of doing the thing and in doing
the thing you will Silence the Critics
it's the man in the arena who knows that
he's showing up with the abilities that
he has to do battle the question is will
you prepare the question is will you do
the work the question is will you be
able to get the thing done and everybody
spends their time focused on what other
people think instead of realizing the
only thing that matters is how good you
get right now I want everybody listening
to this the only thing that matters is
how good you get that's the point that's
the purpose of all of this don't [ __ ]
worry about what people
think just get so good that you can't be
denied get so good that you can't be
stopped get so good that your
performance speaks for itself if you get
that
good my friends you and you alone
control your life
if you're honest with yourself about
where you are and you know exactly where
you want to go you can go anywhere
[Music]
as Jim Ron said without a sense of
urgency desire loses its value
what do you want badly enough to suffer
for what price are you willing to pay to
become the person that you want to
become when you do that when you have
the skills no one and nothing can stop
you really think about that for a second
there is a level of ability a level of
skill set where you can get so good at
something no matter how much people hate
you no matter how much they want to
bring you down no matter how actively
they come for you you can stand before
them and say I will not
fall because you can
outperform it's not about convincing
it's not about politicking it's about
getting better and when you understand
that that is what the human animal is
capable of when you understand that
that's what you're capable of everything
in your life changes it just becomes a
simple
[Music]
Choice what do you want that badly that
you're going to turn that want into a
need that you're going to do the work
that you're going to show up nights
weekends you're going to put in the work
when other people are out partying all
you can think about is becoming so good
that they can't stop you becoming so
good they can't stop
[Music]
you that's the greatest joy you're ever
going to experience in life is being
truly and uniquely yourself
[Music]
through a cruel twist of fate the only
way for a human to really develop
themselves and to become what they're
capable of becoming is through suffering
it's by pushing yourself
[Music]
and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said unless
you try something beyond what you've
already mastered you will never
[Music]
grow but to push yourself beyond what
you've already mastered is to really
Embrace discomfort it's to push yourself
to the edges of what you can take it's
to go beyond the physical emotional and
intellectual
[Music]
limits it's about redefining who you are
it's about redefining what you can stand
it's about redefining your breaking
point and literally becoming capable of
more but that process through that twist
of fate requires us to put ourselves in
TR tremendous stress and pressure but if
you can do that if you can find a way to
step to that edge to look over the abyss
and to push yourself farther into the
unknown into a realm of danger if you
can do
[Music]
that if unlike everyone else who seeks
Comfort if you can push yourself past
pain then you can become something
something more than other people but
your life will ultimately be defined by
what you
[Music]
do not by what you think not by what you
want what you actually do
and as Leonardo da Vinci said I have
been impressed with the urgency of doing
knowing is not enough we must apply
being willing is not enough we must
do and that's got to be The Guiding
Light of your life if you want to find
out what you can do if you want to
impact people if you want to help if you
want to touch lives all the
proclamations people make if you
actually want to do that and not just be
talking you've got to push yourself
you've got to make demands you've got to
hold yourself to a standard that other
people think is crazy you've got to
become stronger you've got to become
more capable
[Music]
because when you get to that point when
you are stronger when you're more
capable then you're actually able to
execute against the things that you want
to do you're able to help people you're
able to push yourself you're able to
become something
[Music]
more but that process of becoming is an
active process and it is an active
process of discomfort pain pushing
suffering and growth it's Beauty it's
wonderment it's hurt it's anguish it's
all of it rolled together but at the end
of the day it's your control it's your
willingness it's your why it's knowing
why you're pushing yourself that's going
to determine whether or not you push
beyond what other people think is
[Music]
possible and in that standing at the
edge of uncertainty not knowing if
you're going to succeed or fail not
knowing if you're going to live or die
it's in that moment that you realize who
you really
are we've all had days that go wrong
where despite your best efforts
everything crumbles and as you near the
end of that day you realized that this
was a lost day nothing came together you
weren't able to do what you told
yourself you were going to do at the
beginning of the
day but as Elanor Roosevelt said with
new day comes new strength and new
thoughts but that's up to you you
control what you think you don't have to
let your thoughts run away with you
you've got to take that moment to decide
that you're going to think those new
thoughts to let it be a rebirth to let
it rejuvenate
[Music]
you and you can't live in the past you
can't let the noise of what didn't work
you can't let the noise of the ways that
you failed and the things that went
wrong you can't let that noise drown out
the signal of your life you can't let it
become the only thing that you hear you
can't let it begin to shape the actual
structures of your mind to overly focus
on the things went wrong and so you have
to make that choice every day to decide
that today is a new day to decide that
you're going to have new thoughts to
decide that you're going to see
potential in this new day
[Music]
I want greatness for you and I'm willing
to bet that everyone in your life that
loves you wants the same thing they want
to see you make your dreams come true
they hunger for it to see you win the
way that you hunger for it yourself but
what they know that you may not yet be
willing to accept is that as ravendra
tagor said you can't cross the sea
merely by standing and staring at the
[Music]
water if you're going to make those
things come true in your life if you're
going to make that Vision that you have
a reality you've ultimately got to go
out into the cold and unforgiving water
you've got to be willing to face the
swells you've got to be willing to face
the most terrifying thing of all the
unknown
[Applause]
[Music]
it isn't that the sea is dangerous that
scares people it's that you can't see
what's beneath the surface and that is
going to be the challenge that you're
going to have to face that is going to
have to be the fear that you stare
directly into the eye is the truth is
you don't know what you're capable of
the truth is you don't know if you're
going to succeed the absolute truth is
you may fail
[Music]
you may get swallowed by the darkness
but at the end of the day that's going
to be your choice because whether or not
you fail does not mean you have to be
consumed by that failure you can get
back up and keep going but that is a
choice you have to make that's the
fortitude you have to develop within and
it is a development process it is
something that you do
[Music]
you choose to be stronger than the sea
you choose to be stronger than the
unknown and you choose to be brave
enough to go out despite the unknown and
try to conquer something to try to build
something in your life to do the things
that other people think cannot be done
it is in facing that fear that you win
the battle understand finding the island
making it to the new world that's not
the [ __ ] point
[Music]
[Applause]
the point is setting out the point is
being willing to get an ad and to go off
into the sea the point is being willing
to face the challenge if you can do that
regardless of what comes you've already
won because you've proven something to
yourself that you're willing to try
the truth will set you free but first it
will piss you
off the reality is if you want to
achieve something great in your life
you've got to be willing to accept who
you really are right now you've got to
know exactly what you're good at and
what you're not and the reason
that the truth is going to piss you off
is it's going to
hurt it's going to hurt to acknowledge
that you're not yet who you want to be
it's going to hurt to know that you're
not yet capable of the things that you
want to be capable of and it's really
going to hurt to know that the things
that people say behind your back the
things that they say to hurt you that
they're actually true
true that they're right they have a
point you aren't good at that thing you
aren't as good as you could be you did
embarrass yourself you have fallen down
all of those things are almost certainly
true but when you can look at those
things when you can stare nakedly at
your inadequacies when you can really
stop and not protect yourself with ego
but protect yourself by knowing that
you're going to learn from where you
failed you're going to learn from the
places you've fallen down you're going
to learn your inadequacies so that you
can build something new and as mitaku
says all great ideas come from a picture
you've got to know what you want you've
got to know what that thing is that
you're building towards you've got to
know exactly who you're trying to become
and once you have that Crystal Clear
Vision of who you want to be it is far
easier to acknowledge who you really
are so you've got to start with that
picture you've got to accept the reality
pain and all but you've got to have that
picture you've got to know where you're
going you've got to know what the skills
are that you need to build in order to
get there and once you do that once you
have that picture and that picture is
your obsession it's the thing that you
think about you dream about you put it
up on your wall you tattoo it in your
mind you know exactly who you're trying
to
[Music]
become if you're honest with yourself
about where you are and you know exactly
where you want to go you can go anywhere
knowledge isn't power used knowledge is
power putting that to use to actually do
[Music]
something understanding it well enough
to create from that thing that's the end
goal so don't worry about what other
people think don't worry about what
books other people have read don't worry
if you ever make it to the last page of
anything simply ask yourself do I
understand what I need to understand to
build the life I want to build to bring
to this world the things that I want to
[Music]
bring however counterintuitive however
weird it doesn't matter if it's a moment
of Beauty for you and you understand how
to build it build
it that's the greatest joy you're ever
going to experience in life is being
truly and uniquely
yourself but first you have to do the
work to understand who you really are do
that
work and as bernee brown said you can
choose courage or you can choose Comfort
but you can't choose both
so as you look out at what you want to
do and it scares you in that moment
you've got a choice it's not about not
having fear it's about rising up in the
face of it it's about accepting that
this is going to be hard it's about
accepting that you might fail it's about
accepting that right now you really
aren't good enough
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you're not good enough to do what you
want to do but you can become good
enough and if you make that choice if
you step out into the unknown if you
wade into the water if you go with
everything you've got regardless of
whether or not you could fail if you do
that then you've got proof you know that
you have value because you're willing to
take that chance and the willingness to
take the chance is courage
itself the only thing that you should
demand of yourself is
courage if you don't
stop you can't be beaten if you're not
going in the right direction in your
life and you want an action plan that
you can use going to change everything
in your life it goes like
this when you want success that badly
you will find a way that's what I always
tell people success is a game of problem
solving