Kind: captions
Language: en
so here's the thing I couldn't be
attracted to a man who is not successful
only because the qualities it takes to
be unsuccessful in this day and age you
have to be
relatively lazy and you have to be
because there's so many opportunities to
education or to online marketing or
something like that so I don't like the
traits that keep a man unsuccessful I
like the traits of a successful man but
reality is the more a woman is
physically attracted to you the more she
makes access to her easy the more
physically attracted she is to you
access becomes easy the less attractive
to you the more barriers become
available so that's why I think that
when she's placing barriers there
there's a lack of physical attraction so
you are overcoming physical attraction
to access her and then you run the risk
of her being physically Unfaithful so
that's why I don't recommend it yeah
that's so interesting and I've heard you
say that rich men get cheated on more
than your that's so interesting okay
we'll get to that in a second uh so
here's two your point the reason that I
think that the reality is slightly more
complicated certainly for guys maybe for
women is that when like I I nobody
expected me to do well my mother when I
left for college quietly assumed I was
going fail no definitely not so we were
we were on the border between middle
class and lower middle class you access
to education uh Public public okay yeah
yeah and you went on to college Stellar
yes I did okaying took out loans and all
that good stuff
um but I didn't have discipline and so I
think there's a you you have to have
ambition discipline and intellect
unfortunately I wish that wasn't part of
the equation but it is and if you have
those three things then you've got a
chance to be successful but nobody knows
if you can develop Drive yeah and so I
had ambition and thankfully I had
intellect that maybe hadn't fully
developed yet um but no one was sure if
I would develop drive and I didn't
develop drive until after I asked Lisa
to marry me she said yes and then I
started becoming very ashamed of myself
because I was laying in bed four to 5
hours a day while she went to work okay
and my only job was to make her a
sandwich at lunch and half the time I
was like scrambling to have it made by
the time she got there and I wasn't
getting dressed or doing my hair and she
was mortified so anyway finally one day
I'm like oh my God I'm telling I
promised her dad I would make her rich
one
I'm going to her one day and I'm ised in
that direction and that shame that
self-loathing was to get me moving then
once I developed the discipline then I
was like okay now I can [ __ ] do
anything I want it was absolutely
incredible and so I became a person that
was worthy of her respect and worthy of
my own respect quite frankly and so that
really made me a different person yeah
and an attractive person yeah and so it
it is a very complicated thing because
so we got married young and this is
something that I'm sad is very uncommon
now but I don't know who I would be if I
hadn't met her and here this is another
reason why I think more traditional
roles are very useful so when leis and I
got
together she was very traditional she
grew up in a traditional household her
family was Greek um her dad told her
yeah you can go study film Mak or
whatever you want cuz you're you're and
he didn't mean this in a derogatory way
the greatest thing a woman can do with
her life is become a wife and mother
yeah and so to honor the Gods like I I
really want that's how he thought of it
he did not think oh you're less than to
become the thing that is worth a man
dying for you will go become a wife and
mother it's the most beautiful thing you
could do it's the greatest contribution
to world to your family like people that
denigrate my wife doesn't have kids I
don't have kids but to denigrate
motherhood is [ __ ] insane yeah so
anyway with love joy and reverence in
his heart he was thinking you will
become a a mother so enjoy your time
yeah so like yeah study whatever you
want
and
that really imprinted in my wife even
though she had Big Dreams it imprinted
in my wife that being a mother and being
a wife is very honorable right and so
when we got married she thought okay you
go be successful first and then when
we're successful enough I'll Chase my
dream as
well and in that though she had to work
through me she didn't have a direct
interface to the world with ambition and
drive but she had a husband and she
could incentivize her husband in her
very powerful feminine ways and the
greatest explanation of this I've ever
heard was in My Big Fat Greek Wedding
when the woman said your H or your
father may be the head but I'm the neck
and I point him at whatever I want to
point him yeah that was my marriage yeah
and so my wife pointed me at becoming
the man that I've become and rewarded
the thing she liked and I know this
probably the dumb word to use but punish
the things that she didn't and to earn
her respect and to get that look that
look that a woman gives when she thinks
you're incredible yeah to earn that look
which is the greatest thing in the world
yeah I became who I became yeah and it's
super attractive to a woman because
here's the thing we are attracted to men
that fulfill their potential we're
always attracted to a man that fulfills
his potential when we see a man filled
with potential and he's not using it we
naturally become less attractive and
it's one of the reasons why I find you
know the younger generation where they
make a lot of money on cryp crypto and
they make a lot of money quick um it's
super unattractive to women it only
attracts very vacuous women because the
reality is the skills that you need and
all the failures and the rejection and
the setback um essentially you need them
to build character when you get rich
fast you still you find these men bored
in the gym at like 4 p.m. on a on a
Wednesday uh because they don't really
have a structured life or anything like
that and they feel unfulfilled as well
that I'm I'm I would love to see
long-term study on men that made money
quickly on crypto and in their future in
terms of their mental health I don't
know how conducive it is to them because
for men they need to be some even for
women there needs to be some discomfort
in order to stimulate um your potential
and these kind of quick fixes don't do
it so I do recognize that women are
attracted to money but good women are
not attracted to money they're attracted
to the process over a disciplined uh
self-controlled man but vacuous women
are attracted to the outcome not the
process and they just want to see you
they don't care if you're a drug dealer
they don't care if you're a crypto guide
they just want to see the lifestyle so
you have to be careful how you make your
money very interesting okay so why do
wealthy men get cheated on more um their
selection in Partners tend to be awful
now unfortunately you got very lucky you
picked a partner before you made money
but unfortunately I assure you I did not
get lucky oh you didn't no no no yeah
with my eyes wide opening that's the way
to do it what happens with Rich men is
they tend to here here the reality is
being super super successful um it tends
to require some level of social autism
and what I mean by that is it requires a
man who's happy to sacrifice social
connections to just work just get work
done so he tends to be a man with a
small circle small like interaction
limited social skills let's just get on
with work now that kind of guy
unfortunately what happens is he goes
through most of life not really meeting
many women not really being around them
and then making money you just access
loads of really attractive women that
you didn't think you could ever access
before so what happens is they lose
their eyesight when when it comes to her
character and they focus entirely on her
appearance so they end up attracting
women who just like his lifestyle who
don't care if there's a lot of emotional
connection won't mind that you're
working 25 hours a day eight days a week
um because she's got access to your
credit card and that type of woman is
completely different to the woman that
begs you for a few days off so she can
spend more time with you so what happens
is men that have simple jobs simple
careers attract women who like quality
time men that have very busy careers
that take over their world they attract
women who just like the perks of being
with you and those women are so
emotionally disconnected to you that
cheating doesn't feel like anything to
those women whereas a women that build
with you and are emotionally connected
to you crave quality time they don't
want that CEO lifestyle so they filter
themselves out so you end up with a pool
of women that are more likely to
cheat it's really interesting this is
why people really have got to ask
themselves the question what is going
to need to be true for this relationship
to be worth the sacrifices yeah and if
your answer is sex you're in real
trouble and you have to ask yourself if
your motivation if your motivation for
becoming rich is getting more women you
have to think about the quality of women
if you couldn't access her without money
then chances are any man with money can
access her and if you yeah so if if you
can access her without money she's your
level but if it takes money to access
her you are replaceable by the next man
who's an ATM so don't do it
unfortunately we have to be realistic
with our expectations if you're a four
out of 10 guy that happens to be a
millionaire but the reality is a 10 out
of 10 girl is still not going to be
physically attracted you she's still
going to just be attracted to your
lifestyle so she's more likely to still
get her physical needs met elsewhere and
the amount of women I see cheating on
their Rich husbands is unbelievable the
weird thing about this for me and it may
just be that you're right and there's a
self- selection bias
for the female version of sociopathy
quite frankly because typically men
cheat because they want a novel SE
and women cheat because they want em
experience that they're Notting from
theire um but this is a totally
different thing it sounds like but I Al
yeah because usually the emotional
connection is limited when a man is so
busy um but I would I say rich men have
it the same way beautiful women are more
likely to be cheated on and people are
always confused by that because they'll
say to a beautiful girl that gets
cheated on they're you're so beautiful
how did he cheat on you and I always say
you're the most likely to get cheated on
if you're a beautiful woman and the
reason being is in order to you got to
remember men are terrified of women and
terrified of rejection it's not a nice
feeling that man that is able to go to
that 10 out of 10 in the club or the 10
of 10 of the street and try and approach
her and try and be with her is a man who
wants women and wants beautiful women so
much that he's he's able to forgo his
risk of rejection he really likes Beauty
so that man is always going to be
attracted to beautiful women beautiful
women are a big value to him he likes
that that's a important outcome for him
in his life so when you're with a woman
who's super beautiful chances are you've
been with other beautiful women or
beauty means a lot to you you're willing
to risk rejection for it so
unfortunately what happens to women is
that shy quiet good reserved man if
she's really beautiful he won't approach
her he doesn't act he doesn't care to go
through the potential rejection to get
to her but the guy that has plenty of
women who really value sex really wants
sexual intimacy really likes beauty is
the only pool of men that come to her
and that man is more likely to be
unfaithful sexually so beautiful women
and rich men they're the most likely to
be treated
on that's really fascinating I don't
think that's what people expect so yeah
it's not I mean it's not necessarily the
case all the time but the reality is if
I see a man and he's chosen a a very
very like simple not so pretty girl that
doesn't look after herself that man has
a libido that's different to a man that
has a Playboy Bunny wife he's libido is
different he's a type of guy that's okay
with average and isn't super super
distracted by Beauty and just is sex
doesn't isn't the for for pay of
Forefront of his mind whereas a guy
that's got the Swedish superm model sex
means something to him beautiful girls
mean something to him accessing beauty
is important he's more likely to
stray so the the whole red pill movement
with um guys today feeling like they're
pulling back the curtain on how the
world really works and they're
understanding these games with women um
what do you tell them uh it's nonsense
and put it all away and it's literally a
disease that you've inserted into your
brain genuinely yeah and how do you put
it away I I've heard you say delete your
dating apps delete your because here's
the thing with red pill you've got to
understand that men that are successful
with women don't actually watch red pill
content this doesn't really appe to them
men that have good success with women
who select women wise L who have good
healthy relationships they don't
actually watch the red Bill content that
much it's the men that suffer with women
are the ones either they've been hurt or
they suffer in general they're bad at
selection they're the ones that listen
to it so what happens is it the red pill
content exaggerates their existing fears
they usually have an underlying fear or
bad or poor selection and the red pill
content will tell them exactly what to
fear how to fear and their strategies to
avoid it but it's not actually teaching
them the skills and tools that they need
to create a good healthy relationship
it's just how to protect yourself
against the evil that is women and so
it's really dangerous to them it
actually doesn't help them overcome
their um their shortcomings it just
exaggerates them and validates them and
then makes them more fearful of women
and more weak more weak what the red
field content creates weak
men say more because what it does is it
teaches them how to select terrible
women it teaches them have lots of money
and you get lots of girls have a young
girl that's half your age that's what
you want these women are just there for
lifestyle of course they're going to
cheat on you it treat them mean keep
them clean basically attract a broken
woman to have a woman with no standards
who loves lifestyle is a bimbo doesn't
intellectually challenge you that's the
woman you should be with what is this
nonsense how are you going to create a
marriage out of that that's what they
teach them so what if you could be the
Empress of the red pill for a year what
would we be what are some of the
lectures that we would give to try to
get them back on track like they've got
a base assumption that the woman is the
enemy yeah uh that money is going to
solve your
problems if you've ever come across a
woman that's your enemy it's because
you've had low self-esteem and poor
boundaries it's never the woman yeah
never ever there are thieves everywhere
but my house has never been broken into
because there's a lock on the door
there's drug dealers everywhere I've
never taken one because I'm not
interested in that now if you are
constantly getting played by women you
are constantly getting used by them
they're cheating on you it's because you
saw red flags and ignored them and went
forward because your low self-esteem was
driving your selection process rather
than your actual boundaries so it's
entirely and utterly your fault there
are terrible women everywhere in the
world but if you are a man who's secure
enough and willing to walk away when you
see red flags or when you see your
boundaries being crossed enough times
you will never experience the wrath of a
terrible woman you might come across
them here and there you might get burnt
and there but you'll never really fall
pray to it but I see men whose wives
have you know stolen access to to the
children don't allow them any access
taken all their money cheated on them
but I always say to them even when it
gets to that point she didn't become
this woman yesterday she had all of the
red flags from day one and they'll say
yeah it's true she used to deprive her
other ex of um seeing the children or
yeah she did used to date a billionaire
and took half of his money all of the
red flags were pre-existing they don't
come overnight you choose to ignore them
oh she was talking to her ex when we
first got together or she had a
boyfriend when we first met but I
managed to steal her she showed you who
she was you chose to ignore it you can't
accept that you chose badly and you as a
man failed yourself and now you want to
believe that they're the enemy and
really the enemy is your own low
self-esteem so how do they raise it um
problem solving this is what a man needs
to do if you want to raise your
self-esteem it's very simple you take
all the problems you have in your life
whether it's Financial whether it's with
women whether it's with connection and
in instead of seeking highs like if I'm
missing out on women I could easily hire
an escort and get the feeling of a woman
or I can work on the skills I need to
access good women I problem solve avoid
while avoiding highs if I'm overweight I
could easily just you know take a few
pills and lose a few weight or get some
surgery or I can learn the skills on how
to have a healthy diet and that why I
use food as a coping mechanism and get
rid of that I have to take all the
problems find a solution to them problem
solve and I'll start to respect myself
far more and once I start to realize I
have the ability to solve problems I
start to trust my own judgment a lot
more and know that if something goes
wrong it's okay I'll fix it so if if she
walks away and if she doesn't like my
boundaries no worries I'll find another
one I'll be able to do it but it's a
lack of ability to problem solve makes
men feel overwhelmed and then they seek
highs rather than solving
problems why delete dating apps um I you
know I said that but in the reality I do
understand it's very hard to be single
it's really hard to be single I know
it's super super hard to be single and
find people and meet people in an
organic way but unfortunately what
dating apps does is it polarizes you
where either you have an abundance and
illusion of options and you think
everybody's replaceable and you just
have very kind of uh minimal investment
relationships and you replace people or
you just get non-stop rejection and you
start to really suffer in the form of
low self-esteem and think [ __ ] the dat
I'm just going to go pay for an escort
either way it distorts your self-image
in some way shape or form you either
start thinking you're King of the castle
because you can get so many girls or but
really most of the girls on there are
also a bit you know lonely and desperate
and maybe on the rebound or you start
thinking you're the ugliest man on the
planet and you need to rely on um you
know escorts or something like that
either way it damages the self-esteem
there are lots of success stories and I
don't completely forbid it but I do
think there's dangers in dating apps so
how do people today meet wish I knew I
wish I knew this is one you meet your
significant other I met through work
yeah work related and stuff so mine was
all investment related so I I had that
luxury but I really wish I knew because
a lot of people come to me with this
question what is a good way to meet
people in La I don't know what it would
be like in LA is it bars and clubs or I
mean I wouldn't rule those out but um
that isn't where I would start people so
I would figure out because what you were
saying at the beginning is so right you
want want to match somebody's values the
reason that arranged marriages as much
as I'm opposed to it um has some logic
is the somebody who's been in a marriage
raised kids cares deeply about their
kids they're going to be like okay what
are the real things that allow somebody
to be long-term successful in a marriage
and it's going to be values it's going
to be okay they share enough values that
they're going to be able to get along
they're probably looking for people that
are good at problem solving novel
problem solving is is arguably the
greatest skill anybody a job and you
know all of these they will have pass
certain hurles and all that it sounds
like really boring stuff but this this
is why I like your advice it it is
grounded in reality it's actually
practical okay so um if we know that's
really what people need to be doing in
order to find somebody I would say what
are your values what are the things you
like and then go put yourself in those
physical circumstances where you're
going to be around those people like a
gym or like a could be a gym if that's
your stick but women I would say very
weird about being approached to the gym
there's and and look I'm I don't go to
gy if you're attractive enough all the
rules go down the drain
unfortunately yeah unfortunately so here
then what I will say is if you're a guy
that's going to uh be impressive in the
gym go there cuz you want to be
somewhere you're going to be impressive
in fact I've never said that out loud
but that's true here here is this is
exactly how I got my wife I was her
teacher right now it was a school for
adults yeah very clear uh and I'm only 3
years old I was a teacher before as well
yeah it's proba God in fact one of the
things I want to talk to you about make
a note on that it's a it's a good
transition isn't it going from teaching
to podcasting and stuff like that what
interesting for me there was uh like 15
years maybe almost 20 skill is useful
there is something in my freezer that I
absolutely cannot live without in fact
I've got an entire freezer dedicated to
this product it is a true story all
right can you guys guess what it is and
no it is not ice cream
it's butcher box for years now I've been
eating butcher boox meat almost every
single day why because it's that good
and I love that it shows up at my door
like clockwork for me though it's not
just about the convenience it's about
fueling my body with the highest quality
protein out there new members who sign
up will get their choice of organic
chicken breast grass-fed ground beef or
wild cot salmon in every box for an
entire year plus you'll get $20 off your
first box just go to butcherbox.com
impact and use code impact to check out
you'll get your choice of a free protein
in every box for a year plus that $20
off your first order click the link in
the show notes and head to
butcherbox.com
impact and use code impact yeah I get I
get why you say that I've never thought
about that before but I get why you say
that um when yeah you were saying you
met your wife yeah so she saw me in a
shared interest so she came to learn
film I was teaching film so we both
shared a deep passion and then she saw
me at my best she saw me doing something
where she was like oh yeah and then look
here's something people hate but uh
power dynamics is is a whole thing and
look I get it my wife and I are a me too
story on on a different timeline uh the
good news is she's the only student I
ever hit on literally once only like
three or four years apart yeah three and
a half years apart not real so
um that you want to find a circumstance
like that where it's a thing like I
really enjoy this thing and it gives me
a chance to shine because you need a way
for them to see what you're good at and
what if you're not an impressive person
you have to become impressive or you
have to date down yes we have to date
down thems are your options yeah yeah so
my whole thing is and I know that the
black pill Community really hates the
idea of of maxing what's maxing where
you go okay I'm going to Max my looks
I'm G to Max my body I'm G to Max my
whatever uh but that is the only thing
that [ __ ] makes sense what do they
think you should do they just want you
and look my dearest blackpill people I
get it yeah because you can't imagine
how much it wounds my soul that I will
never be as smart as Elon Musk yeah that
that really bothers me really oh yes
that causes me no small amount of pain
and the fact that you're smarter than
like probably 5 billion people literally
doesn't help really it doesn't help not
even a little bit the only thing that
comes to my rescue is understanding the
only thing that's torture is constantly
lamenting that I'm not going to be as
smart as him okay so that's a waste of
time if there's something I can do about
it go do something about it and if
there's not something I can do about it
stop [ __ ] worrying about it it the
whole game is how you feel about
yourself and you're by yourself that's
it so if you focus on the look if I were
horribly
burned and my IQ were lower my life
would be worse there's there's no way
around that there two ways unfortunately
and so I I get it but if that were my
lot investing in how shitty it is is
[ __ ] stupid makes no so as somebody
my heart the the the way I'm expressing
myself right now is because I love
people and I want to see people be happy
and I want to see them flourish and so
I'm telling you it's [ __ ] stupid
because it won't help you be happy it
won't help you find fulfillment so
you've got to take on the Joo willink
attitude of I'm horribly burned good now
what am I going to do with my life
because I can't undo it so either go
become a scientist that [ __ ] figures
out how to deal with horrible Burns or
go be an author and uh or develop Ready
Player one and create a world where your
own physicality matters far whatever but
sitting at home lamenting it is the only
thing that doesn't make sense it's the
so in my life I have a rule I only do
and believe that which moves me towards
my goals since my number one goal is to
feel good about myself when I'm by
myself I can't sit here and spend Cycles
worrying about the fact that I'm not
smarter than I am it is what it is so
I'm going to maximize the intelligence
that I have going to figure out okay if
we can all get 100 times better
literally everybody the guy with a 98 IQ
can still get 100 times better because
that's what the human brain does is it
grows and adapts but you have to apply
yourself so what would you say to men
that are like not taking care of their
weight or just not investing in
themselves do they just have to should
they just accept that they have to date
down because what I find with my clients
that have not taken care of their
appearance that have not kind of reached
their potential what they end up doing
is maybe marrying somebody that's in
Thailand or living in the Philippines
who needs a Visa who needs somebody to
kind of save her and her family and
that's where they feel impressive so
instead of maxing like out their
potential they just go find somebody
more dire that they can look impressive
in front of do you think that's the
strategy they can use if it works but it
feels like a very fragile strategy it
usually doesn't work but that's what
they think would work do you think in
the mean time that gives them a full
sense of self-esteem if it gives them
uh I I don't know that it gives them a
false sense of self-esteem you're
actually able to help somebody and that
is amazing the problem is once you've
helped them then they're going to be
like rad thanks bye but yeah here's the
problem they think it will be in
exchange for emotional intimacy and you
can't actually buy emotional intimacy
you can do everything else but you
cannot buy emotional intimacy from a
woman so though it makes them feel like
a superh hero they're expecting her to
be genuinely in love with him and
genuinely appreciate him when really he
her he's a he's a like kind of Obamacare
pant so unfortunately it doesn't work
that way and they suffer in the form of
lower self-esteem on the other end but
it's something in the moment they can't
help because it helps and that's why I
see a lot of these passport throws have
you heard of that concept it's men uh
who give up on women in America so they
take their passport and they'll go find
a 90-day fiance elsewhere yeah so that
phenomenon I think breaks into different
categories so what you're describing I
hadn't heard about I didn't know that's
a thing I would definitely uh while I
think when you help somebody that is
real if you're expecting that to lead to
sex and a real relationship it's not
going to um yes I think you need to date
within your sexual Market values you
need to be honest with yourself one
thing I've always prided myself on I
don't lie to myself and so um that that
has rewarded me richly largely like as I
got rich I did not even think about
trying to find another woman I was like
dude sharing a life with somebody is the
bomb and if somebody is with me for my
money and they're super hot they're
going to be like I mean you've been
talking about this they're they're going
to be with me not because they're
attracted to me but what drives you if
you don't you know you're in a
monogamous relationship you're praise be
to God I mean I don't know if your
viewers have ever seen your home but
it's
unbelievable um and so what drives you I
was asking Lisa this as well what drives
you you guys are literally doing so
incredible but you haven't slow down
when what what is it that keeps you
meaning and purpose is the only thing
that matters amazing meaning and purpose
it gives you a legacy or something think
about Legacy CU I'm not having kids and
once I die that's it I I will be
completely unaware of anything I cannot
as I think as Marcus realia said you
can't enjoy your posture Mis Fame so
even if I'm able to do something that
lasts me on me I won't [ __ ] know I'm
dead yeah you've accepted mortality you
don't need to live beyond it% so I just
know that life is about a neurochemical
state and you're doing everything you
can to be fulfilled and so I learned
very early on that the only way to be
fulfilled is to work your ass off to
gain a set of skills that allows you to
serve not only yourself but other people
in a way that you find exciting right
and so that that's it we we started
impact theory for that reason but uh I
could see myself at some point saying H
this is too much I don't want to work
this much anymore um and so I've already
worked out like what those PL change
your mind on kids or you think no um at
this point I don't so first let me
Define how I feel about kids and by the
way for listeners listening closely
there's an open loop cuz I said that
there were two things uh that that could
be the passport bro thing so I will try
to remember to come back to that would I
ever change my mind on kids the thing
that I actually think about kids I
really want kids like I really want kids
I could write you poems that would make
you convinced that I've had kids wow now
the reason I can do that is cuz I Big
Brother for a kid for8 and a half years
and so I know what it's like to have
somebody love you and you love them back
and uh there was a moment where he
begged me to basically be his father and
to take him on now unfortunately I did
not know he was being abused and so I
was like man I'm So Young bro I'm like
I'm not ready to be a dad anyway so I I
know that experience maybe more
intimately than people give me credit
for um and but it's also part of why I
don't want kids so the only thing I want
more than to have kids is to not have
kids right and one of the things I want
to talk to you about
is I have a real fear the only
thing this is going to be controversial
the only thing that makes a relationship
worth it to me because it is a sacrifice
and constant compromise and constantly
dealing with the way that women look at
the world which sometimes drives me
[ __ ] crazy and I know that the way
that men view the world Drive Lisa crazy
I totally get it um but it it it is just
a big ball of compromise yeah the only
thing that makes it worth it is to be
somebody's number one and when a woman
has kids your number whatever how many
kids she has so if she got three kids
you're number four and do you think that
might have to do with your childhood and
your dad feeling miserable after a while
it must but I don't have process it in
that direction not how it felt growing
up like when my dad left I was super
surprised I did admittedly over time
realize oh that's why I was having those
dreams about a Loveless marriage but
from the kids perspective did your mom
prior did your mom prioritize you guys
no so my mom was an awesome mom I can't
stress that enough she's here right now
yeah I have a great relationship with
both my parents my mom was amazing
exactly what I needed exactly the reason
I think I'm so capable of dealing with
relationships she's why I didn't do
drugs or alcohol ah like I I have no
complaints about how I was raised um
but
it when I think about the way that what
my mom said to me it always made a lot
of sense which is you kids I'm raising
you to leave us one day and you should
leave us one day but that means I have
to prioritize your dad okay so and I was
always like word right like that made a
lot of sense to me okay so the only
thing I'm curious about is what is it
that makes you um want to prioritize
your marriage so much so that you would
outrun your love for becoming a father
because that's hypothetical right and my
wife is real and I did the reality of
having kids you don't have kids yet no
okay so uh I'll say this more for your
soon Tobe husband maybe one day husband
uh that one day his child is going to
recount to him
a 30second Tik Tok video and it's going
to take him 9 minutes to tell him about
the 30C video and he's going to beg your
child to stop explaining it to him and
he's going to keep going because he
doesn't have a prefrontal cortex and he
can't help himself and maybe your
husband finds that cute and endearing I
wanted to chew through plate glass it
might be because it wasn't your
biological child it's possible yeah but
it's also possible that that [ __ ] is
just obnoxious and reason that dads
especially will continue to lean into
work the way I would want to contribute
to the family um is I would want to work
and build and provide I don't find
myself I'm not a good caretaker I don't
enjoy caretaking at all yeah well the
only reason I say it's very rare that I
come across couples that I feel as such
a healthy example to children and um and
I mentioned this to Lisa as well and
it's um even just from watching you guys
online um I just thought what if they if
you two had children that would be one
of the luckiest children in the world
that's very kind of you super honored I
genuinely believe you would be fantastic
and I I think I would I think we'd smash
it yeah I've never seen people so
respectful of each other so respectful
of their guests um create such a
beautiful world and you know I would be
your child just like anyone would be and
I just remember watching an interview of
you guys I think you were talking about
resolving conflicts
and I just thought in a world where the
worst people on the planet are
recreating wouldn't it be such a
beautiful world if people like this had
children all the
time and so I I actually now you're on
to where I'm conflicted yeah because I
worry that we're headed for and this is
going to sound crazy to um people that
are passionate about the environment but
I worry that we're headed to population
collapse and that our problem is not
going to be overpopulation it is going
to be dramatically
underpopulated uh you just to look at
the math the math is there we we are
going to be underpopulated for sure uh
and so that really scares me and so now
when I meet parents I thank them for
their service yeah yeah because I am
very grateful yeah know I I genuinely
and and this is not to be like you know
tell anybody what to do but it's just
very when you see a beautiful marriage
um the psychologist in you is just like
oh my God imagine if that how lucky the
child would be oh my God and so that's
my natur and plus with my you know
ethnic background I naturally kind of we
think kids is everything um but no it's
a very conscious decision on your end
isn't it there is no nothing bearing so
I was always just curious but you've
explained it really well I completely
understand and in my experience of
working with couples that don't have
kids they tend to have a very magical
marriage uh that they because the only
thing that will forego the desire to
have children is if you have a
connection that's worth it so that's
usually what I tend to
find yeah and I have to say like my wife
is awesome a and I'm
obsessed so that doesn't help from that
perspective yeah completely understand
but here's the thing I I want people to
hear me what we're doing is a very
dangerous strategy and I actually don't
advise it right and there are days where
the thought of being a father really
pulls at me yeah and there are more days
where I'm glad I don't have them but we
knew that going into why do you think
it's a dangerous strategy because I
think we are products of evolution and
evolution wants one thing and one thing
only from you and that is that you have
kids that survive long enough to have
kids and so fulfillment if I'm right
that that really is the name of the game
the most readymade path to fulfillment
is kids yeah they are they're amazing
and you know I understand and usually I
don't recommend them especially when the
relationship is chaotic and stuff uh
because with the wrong person they can
be a life sentence and I've seen
people's lives and I've I've spoken to
so many women who say no matter how much
I love my child I love him to bits but
when you have it with the wrong person I
promise you you regret every single day
because it's your life you feel like
you're trapped so said it's said risk
either way I guess it's a risk either
way but we are living in a world where
there definitely will be more and more
people that choose not to have children
as we as we get older scary it is scary
and it's usually the sensible people
that choose not to have children that's
the scary part it's always a successful
intelligent Su like sensible people who
opt out of it and it's more The Reckless
people who opt in so this is this kind
of the really bad news is the more you
educate women the fewer kids are born oh
yeah that's true that's very
true those are just facts I wonder what
the correlation is with that that's very
easy what do you think that is from an
evolutionary perspective you had no
other option basically there was no
birth control so if you wanted the
protection of a man like even just
forget romance for a second if you
wanted to be protected in times where
that was a real [ __ ] thing which is
the vast majority of our evolutionary
history uh you were going to have sex
yeah and if you had sex the odds of you
getting pregnant were virtually 100%
yeah so it wasn't an option but women
have Incredible Minds and so when
they're educated they respond the same
way a guy does this is [ __ ]
incredible I love this there's so many
options so many things that fascinate me
so many things I want to try I want to
see if I'm good at this yeah and so when
you do that and Society gets safer now
instead of having six kids they have one
right and so even if they still become a
mother they don't become a mother of six
or 12 they become a mother of one right
and so now if if a couple only has one
child the population will be cut in half
crazy yeah so it's not like nobody's
having kids it's that you to Hold Steady
I think the number is like 2.3 every
couple of us have 2.3 kids because of
mortality yeah so it's like you can't
[ __ ] around yeah and yet so we're
literally we're literally decreasing the
population rapidly so we'll go up to
something like 9.7 you think
homosexuality has a has a role to play I
don't think so no look I worry hey let's
open a crazy can of worms um I have a
feeling this is just a hunch it's a
hypothesis I do not have the data on
this I could be totally wrong and no
worries if I am um
but something is going on that's
disrupting our endocrine system I have a
feeling that it's microplastics and
other environmental
toxins
and that's really causing some strange
effects the effeminization of men the
masculinization of women um and it's so
visceral in America it's like you know a
mov it's just an LA thing maybe but but
when um when I ever I'm in America the
men are almost androgynous and it's so
different to anywhere else in the world
so I don't know if I I'm not really much
of a conspiracy theorist but it just
doesn't seem typical and I don't know if
it's just in big cities or whatever it
is but there does seem to be a shift and
I don't know if that's socially
conditioned I don't know if it's because
we're exposing people to more choices
and you know exposing to more sexual
pleasure but it does seem different
there it okay again now I'm talking
about an idea that I have not researched
so I will merely explain how I approach
the problem uh looking at it it's almost
certainly going to be multifactorial
it's going to be a lot of things but
I've had enough Health guests on the
show to know our endocrine systems are
being disrupted nobody debates that
something is going on so can you
biologically change people's sexual
orientation oo that I'm not speaking to
all all I'm saying is that there is
something that the and
Vibe is some percentage could be 1%
could be 99% I have no idea some
percentage of the equation is going to
be when you disrupt the endocrine system
you're going to get unexpected results
in terms of sexuality sexual preference
etc etc
um it's way too early for anybody
especially myself yeah to say
definitively what that is cultural will
also certainly be a component it is
utterly fascinating how much flexibility
there is is especially in uh female
sexuality from what little literature I
have looked at females do seem to have
an easier time um being bisexual than
men and so there's some pretty there's a
do do you think that might be linked to
the fact that we believe that men are
more forgiving of bisexuality or more
encouraging women you mean yeah or more
encouraging like I know that as a woman
if you tell a man you're bisexual it's
almost encouraged but if you tell a
woman that you are bisexual man it's
automatically discouraged or at least
she loses attraction so do you think the
flexibility comes from the Forgiveness
of men or the encouragement of men okay
can I just completely derail and I'm
asking the audience as much as you so
please everybody understand that I've
asked evolutionary biologists this
question and nobody knows so I am
speculating I'm speculating having read
a lot of books on the topic uh okay so
here it goes the question I want
everyone to ask themselves ask yourself
this why on God's green earth is the
clitorus on the outside okay that
doesn't make any [ __ ] sense right for
you if if I'm right and all Evolution
cares about is that you have a child
that lives long enough to have a child
then women should want nice deep
penetration right because the reason why
a man thrusts deeply at orgasm is so
that the ejaculate is as close to the
cervix as humanly possible so the sperm
has to travel the least amount of
distance but you put the pleasure button
for a woman on the outside what the [ __ ]
like that is the weirdest thing I can
possibly think of okay so then you have
to why would this be okay look at the
animal kingdom again I know I'm
speculating I know I'm way out over my
skis here but this is so interesting to
me okay if you look at bonobos who are
one of our closest relatives they will
use female-to-female genital contact as
a way of mending relationships right of
bonding women to women now if women are
literally biologically gifted in all the
ways you would need to be gifted in
order to care for an infant from being
able to feed them from their body that's
[ __ ] crazy uh 15% of women have a
fourth photo receptor which means they
actually see colors men can't see one
hypothesis is that allows them to see
changes in the skin tone of their child
to see if they're sick distressed
whatever
uh their ability to Pi up on emotions
nonverbal cues they just outscore men
left right and
Center so if the clitorus is on the
outside is a way to allow women to bond
to men broken fences in order to have
additional care for the young so that
they'll team up and they'll look after
the infants together you can understand
then why the infant would be more likely
to survive longer now I've asked that
question directly to evolutionary
biologists and they're like maybe but
there's absolutely no data to back that
up right but that to me just makes all
the sense in the world so now you get to
one from a guy's perspective if I can
convince two women to be together and
allow me into the mix now I have access
to two females right obviously much
better from uh evolutionary perspective
if I can hoard resources and so now it
actually makes sense for women to come
to me and nature does not give a [ __ ] if
one guy populates a th000 babies 10,000
babies
look at gas KH or but wouldn't the women
compete for the resources compared to a
monogamous man uh women
will a guy will only be able to
monopolize as many women as they can
give resources to is that what you're
asking yeah I'm just wondering if if
evolutionary encouraged two women to be
with one man wouldn't they and maybe
almost be bisexual and just kind of make
it easier would there still not be a
source of enity regarding the resources
well so yeah yes
undoubtedly and that's why if the
cliturus is on the outside then women
potentially I'm making this up I have no
idea correct and so now women have a way
to leverage oxytocin and vasopress that
happens when you orgasm they have access
to that without needing a penis okay now
again I I I am this is just a hypothesis
but man I've really tried to invalidate
this and it just there's so many things
that are like huh it could be could it
be that sometimes um the reason for the
clitorus to be on the outside is because
during menstrual cycles um they can't
really get pregnant through penetration
anyway so there might as well be a way
to Outsource pleasure without you know
re needing it's certainly possible I and
I have no data to say have any making
this up I'm just curious personal
experience women tend to be turned off
when they're on their period that they
don't want people them they rather let's
wait so my gut instinct is they not like
encouraging sexual contact of any kind
at that point again guess not stab in
for yeah yeah it's good to kind of
stimulate I've never thought about that
before though I think about that endless
how do men put themselves in a situation
where they can avoid the kind of woman
that's going to cheat on them here's
thing with men they this is a really key
difference why I always say men get
cheated on so much more than women do
they with women we enter relationships
with the Assumption the man is going to
cheat at some stage and then we're
looking for evidence that he's not going
to do it so we go in with our you know
with our like alertness on most women
and I I think there's an evolutionary
reason for that because obviously we
don't want to be left pregnant and all
these things so most women when they
meet a man they'll start to check his
online when he's online who he's
following this and then over time they
earn the trust and like okay I can relax
he's actually quite good like I haven't
seen any problems perfect with men they
go into relationships with the
Assumption she would never they go in
with this naivity when they're dating
that why no no girl would and the other
thing men do is because they've selected
a Woman They want to justify their
selection so they assume she's a great
girl they assume she's a good girl
simply because they've selected her not
because she's eared any of those values
so what happens is they ignore a lot of
the behaviors that predict cheating and
the behaviors that predict cheating are
so easy to see but they avoid those and
they just focus on what they like
because particularly if they're sexually
satisfied they will literally avoid all
the evidence so how they get cheated on
is they go into it with a naivity now
men who have been with lots of women
will tell you that women are no more
innocent than men are they've been on
the receiving end when they've been in
bed with a girl and she's called a
boyfriend and said oh I'm just going to
be home they've seen that side of women
some men have never seen that side of
women so they just think that doesn't
exist so what happens is they go in with
a little bit of naivity and they
literally take words over behaviors as
soon as a woman says oh no I don't do
this I'm I'm a traditional woman they
won't look at an they will say well
she's a traditional woman but she's been
on a private jet recently or she's gone
on holiday with and she didn't tell me
who she was going with or you know she's
always in the club and she doesn't tag
me or any they don't connect the dots
they simply go by what she says rather
than what she does and I noticed this
particularly with men who have terrible
relationships with their fathers and
just grow up in a single parent home I
always say men who grow up in a single
parent home are far more likely to be
cheated on and the reason I believe that
is when you grow up with just one parent
you have only one version of events you
only have a female perspective of the
world you kind of just think okay what
mom says is almost true because you
don't have a way of factchecking it when
you grow up with your mom and dad you
see that mom also you know she can be a
bit annoying dad is difficult sometimes
you see the dynamic and you can fact
check the truth and you validate what
there being said when men grow up with
just a female perspective they start to
go into the real world believing
everything a woman says and not
double-checking it so when she when she
says oh my ex is so controlling he used
to always think I was cheating on him he
won't say why did he think you were
cheating on did you do anything they'll
just think oh my God what what how he's
so toxic I'm going to prove I'm so much
better than him and I'm not going to say
anything I'm going to let you do
whatever you want they just adapt to her
perspective so that's the first thing
and the second thing is because they
grew up not seeing what a wife looks
like not seeing that women you know they
tend to come home when they're happy
they don't always go on holidays with
their friends they don't come home super
late they don't stay over really like
you know when they're married they kind
of stay home with their they want to
come home to their husband they didn't
get to see that Growing Up So when their
woman is hyper independent they don't
see it as a signal that she's not
attached they just see as this is how
women come and therefore they select
women who are usually more likely to
cheat on them because she has those
traits of a single woman that they don't
not it they don't notice does that make
any sense
it does uh I assume the things you went
through are the behaviors that predict
so they're going out clubbing they're
not taking you
um what
are what are the things that if
somebody's being naive that they're
being naive about so certainly that
women are capable of it but um oh God I
hate to even say this but like what are
the red flaks what well here's the main
naive thing they simply think that if
they treat her better than what she
normally goes for they've got no
competition so what I mean by that is
they walk into a room and they be like
I'm the richest guy here I've got no
competition or I'm the tallest guy she's
been with I've got no competition your
competition is not defined by other men
your competition is by how loose her
boundaries are and her values you could
be the best looking man she knows you
could be the richest man she knows but
if she is somebody who really values
Independence and really really values
her own kind of Liber Liberation she
will not care if you're she's cheating
with someone less than you more than you
whatever it is it's her open her desire
to be independent and not be caged now
what they all do is they have this false
sense of security that they've created
for themselves rather than based on her
behavior your sense of security should
come from her level of dedication how do
you monitor her dedication she naturally
respects the relationship more than her
independence so what I mean by that is
yes she might want to go to mikos every
summer and she might want to go Monica
but she understands that you you know
when you're in a relationship sh in
those environments it can get a little
bit tricky so I'll go but I'll probably
want my husband there or I probably want
you what what they think is my woman
would never they don't think that my my
actual loyal women would rather not put
themselves in those environments they
have this mentality that she wouldn't
because I'm the best she has but if she
if you were truly the best she has she
wouldn't put herself in those
environments so look at her choices look
at what she chooses to do and if she
places herself in environments where
alternatives are presented regularly she
does that then she's probably not
satisfied and the other thing that they
forget is some men particularly young
men and in this generation they are they
you know if she's bisexual if she brings
other women in and this that and the
other they're actually very happy about
that yeah yeah they they really love
that they're like oh my God she's so
cool she got other women involved the
biggest choke hold you can have on a
woman is when you're the only person
that is able to sexually satisfy her
when you invite other people in and well
man woman whatever it is you're don't
you're you're opening the door for her
climaxing because of somebody else
outside of you you lose your choke hold
in that moment I see some of these
really like red pill kind of guys who be
like oh my woman she lets me get with
other girls and she even joins in the
moment she can climax because of
somebody other than you you lose your
choke hold over her there is there is
women out there that I know that are
beautiful got many options but because
they haven't been with many men and
they're a bit like scared of their M
they'll stay L to him even if he's in
jail they won't go anywhere because they
haven't tried other men but other women
that because the man has opened that
door for her and invited other
stimulants into the relationship
they you have you lose your ability to
get complete and utter sexual submission
from her when you invite too many
alternatives for
her okay all right this is very
interesting all right so the first uh
thing you said that really sparked me is
this idea that uh too much Independence
is a problem so remember and women by
the way I just want to make that clear
is for men and women I would say that
this started with what should guys avoid
if they want to avoid being cheated on
and the answer is somebody who's too
independent yeah uh it's very
interesting okay
so you're looking out for somebody that
you want somebody that puts the
relationship ahead of the independence
they're willing to give something up to
get that yeah how do you begin to draw
boundaries around that like what is the
right amount of um submission to the
relationship and at what point does it
become controlling stifling um
reasonable requests are not controlling
and what I mean by reasonable requests
is objectively we can agree it's not
about me it's not about you we can agree
that this isn't good for the
relationship so objectively it might be
the case that let's say you're going to
live abroad for a couple of years or a
couple of months or whatever it's
probably not good for the relationship
we can objectively agree on that and
even if it was the other way around we
would both agree or objectively we would
agree that going out a lot on weekends
drinking alcohol is not good for the
relationship so it's when we can both
agree that it's not unreasonable the way
to handle boundaries as a man is you
don't sit there and beg her to listen to
you and you don't sit there and be if
you can't do that you se you see her own
choices and you decide if it is an
appropriate selection for you to be with
this woman you don't force her to change
you allow her to live how she wants to
live and then you let her know what you
prefer and give her time but if she if
she decides this is not how she wants to
live is instead of being like well we
got to do this you got to listen to me
I'm the man I'm this you just say okay
fair enough I totally want you to live
the life you want but it's not
compatible with the values and
boundaries I have instead what they do
is they stay there get really
controlling really aggressive and be
like you need to listen to me you need
to but in that moment she learns you
don't have a willingness to walk away
she learns and that is something you
never want to teach man or woman you
don't want to teach anybody that you
have no willingness to walk away instead
what you want to teach them is the
relationship means something to you you
want to protect this relationship
through boundaries and you want them to
meet you in the Middle with that if they
do that fantastic if they choose not to
the goal is not to be with you the goal
is to have a good relationship if you
don't want this we wouldn't have a we're
not going to have a good relationship so
no worries I wish you the best the
toxicity comes from the inability to
walk away that's one of those that it's
so simple but it really is true as you
were talking I was like is there really
anything other than leaning away from
somebody when they do a behavior that
you don't like leaning in when they do a
behavior that you do and having a
willingness to walk away that's sort of
the game that's the only thing but and
it works men and women it works for men
and women like you can sit there and beg
your husband to come home on time you
can do all of these things but the only
thing that works it works is your
willingness to work away now you might
say no I walked away and they still
didn't change then that person doesn't
want you enough that's a signal instead
of begging that person to want you
accept their choices if they don't want
you enough and you still want to be with
them then let them live the life they
want but if that you walked away and
they didn't change they don't want the
relationship enough yeah so don't keep
using that trick learn from that trick
that it's not working so therefore this
person doesn't want it enough whereas if
you pull away and they actually love and
appreciate you more they obviously want
this relationship they want it to work
man uh this is where self-esteem really
becomes an important part of this
equation it's the number one thing I
honestly you can have every ingredient
but without self-esteem man or woman no
relationship can it can't flourish sadly
is such an important ingredient towards
the any relationship because without
self-esteem there's no self-respect and
without self-respect there's no mutual
respect so it's a really difficult one
so if you if you're struggling in
relationships you're not actually
struggling relationships you're
struggling in
self-esteem you don't know how to love
or be loved correctly and as a result
your relationships are destructive what
do you think has changed that makes it
hard for women today to respect and fall
for the average man uh men have
worshiped sex in a way that they've
never done before and as a result what
before would make a man want to marry
you would involve a woman having a lot
of good qualities before a woman would
think okay I have to come from a good
family or maybe should go to school I
should maybe educate I should you know
uh really learn how to cook I should do
something with my life I should sew I
should do something these are our
grandma's generation they knew that the
you know you make too many mistakes
you're going to be left on the Shelf in
this day and day and age the women that
are actually the least promiscuous and
most traditional don't have sexual
experience struggle to find a man
whereas a woman with every surgery with
every tattoo with all of her body out
everywhere she has endless cue of men
now they're going to argue no no no but
we don't you know we don't want to marry
those girls they're they're actually
lying men are very happy to marry the
woman that gives them the most sexual
pleasure they think that's not true but
you ask them which of your exes or which
woman had the biggest choke hold over
you and it will be usually the woman
that they enjoyed the sex with the most
and when a woman learns that she can get
away with murder simply because your
hyper attracted to her it makes it
impossible for her to respect and want
to be with you impossible because it's
like how did I get here so easily you
must not be valuable whereas when we
know that certain behaviors will make us
insufferable to you because you don't
give us a free pass because of our
appearance or our sexual performance we
can finally respect you so because of
the culture we've got today and because
how men have worshiped sex in a way that
they never really did before um I'm I'm
not blaming them I'm blaming societal
changes it's made it very difficult for
us to respect the man that we know you
know if we just simply know exactly how
he likes it he'll forgive us in five
minutes or if we know when we turn our
back he'll be on downloading an only fan
subscription it's hard for us to respect
that man okay you're touching on
something really big here that there's a
what I'll call a derangement in
culture uh so you hinted at this idea
that in the past we had a very different
culture what men wanted um incentivize
women to invest in set of skills their
obsession with sex was being tampered by
something yeah I want to know what what
has changed in culture specifically what
did it used to be and what is it now um
we had realistic expectations of our
sexual climaxing and what our what we
deserve sexually so what I mean by that
is when a person looked you know wasn't
so appealing he would accept that he's
going to be with a woman that doesn't
isn't the most appealing and they would
have a relatively mundane sexual
performance and that would be their life
and the man that might be you know
the jock in school he might get with a
cheerleader and theyd have realistic
expectations of what to expect from the
opposite gender the Advent of social
media and pornography has allowed the
person with the least amount to offer a
woman to still believe he deserves and
still want to desire the top of the
range woman who is the most sexually
promiscuous who the most sexually overt
he still believes there's an element of
him who thinks he deserves that now and
because they've got such inflated
expectations of what they want and
deserve sexually they can't match with
people who are on the same level as them
and it's leading lead leading them to a
lifetime of loneliness because they'd
rather be alone than be with a woman on
their same level whereas before they
would just be like okay I'm a bit you
know maybe I'm not so successful maybe
I'm a bit overweight my wife's a bit
chubby I can understand it I'll meet men
who are now in their 50s and saying oh
she she's let herself go a little bit
she's got a few stretch marks and it's
like but tell me about your body oh you
I need to work out but she and it's
that complete hypocrisy that they've
developed through constantly watching
beautiful women online all right is that
the core cultural wound that we no
longer are being realistic about our own
sexual market value yeah I believe so I
think the inflated expectations from
what we're watching um and not being
aware of what we bring to the table is
one of the core issues but also the
liberation of sex of how like it's got
no cap on it anymore so just a normal
you know we would kind of just probably
expected by time our parents got into
our 50s or 60s and stuff they would have
just a normal kind of sex life in in
this day and age they're still they
endless desires and insatiable cup when
it comes to your sexual desires and and
because they're constantly bombarded
with different ideas it feels like there
is an endless hole and there's only so
many women that can keep up with that so
they keep replacing the women rather
than replacing this
desire okay so if we were going to
assign percentage blame to men and women
um
and I I definitely want to dive into the
idea of deserve more but if we were
going to assign blame to men and women
is are men deranging it more or women
deranging things more men entirely men
entirely and they'll hate that they'll
be like no women have lost their this
women have I tell you why I say that I
happen to be a woman in a very unique
position where I have a kind of presence
on social media where I do help men like
you we we help men on a regular basis
and on a daily basis of a short we'll
get millions of views and I'll have men
message me saying you saved me from
suicide you saved my relationship you've
helped me so much and then I will look
and I'll think I remember I was going on
my patreon I have a patreon where you
can sign up and you can ask me questions
and I'm doing fine on my patreon but I
looked at other content creators who
I've never seen before like women that
I've like oh I don't know what she's
done I've never SE she's got nowhere
near the reach I have and this is not in
a competitive way I was just curious and
she would have hundreds of thousands of
subscribers and I was like oh I wonder
what she's doing it would all be
pornography related so I just thought to
myself I'm in a position I'm not saying
this in a jealous way cuz I know that's
how they're going to take it I happen to
help men on a daily basis but because I
don't lead with sex I will never get the
reaction or the following whereas if I
just started posting pictures of feet
toes this that and the other I would be
inundated with subscribers so they
reward the most um toxic behavior in
society and then complain that women are
no longer traditional there's only let's
say I don't know the statistics but
let's say for example there's only like
500,000 only fans creators or porn
creators but there's billions of people
watching it so the main problem has to
be the men there's only a tiny
percentage of women that actually sell
sex but there's not a tiny percentage of
men that watch it so we have to think
who is actually contributing to the
problem more okay do you blame men in
general for patronizing it or is there
something else that sits on top of that
like uh the capitalistic impulse to give
people whatever they want so if they
want uh a dating app where they can find
quick hookups we're going to give it to
them if they want an AI girlfriend we're
going to give it to them um so where do
we start getting into the Nuance because
what I'm trying to really tease out here
is I I think you're right in that
ultimately every individual man is able
to start making better choices and get a
better outcome but at the same time
culture has energy m and when cultural
Energy starts moving in a direction um
to look at an individual man who's now
bearing the brunt of of not being able
to attract a woman um having to work I
forget what the status that people throw
out having to work five times harder to
get a girl that's half as good you know
what I mean like that whole idea I think
there really is something to that and so
I'll look at guys and I will be deeply
empathetic and uh something that I talk
to my wife a lot about is you you really
have to immerse yourself in the culture
to see something is broken yeah and so
do you see that that overlayer that's
generating some of these problems or
really is nope just individual guys
making mistakes do you know what I
started with a really different kind of
message I was very much like you know on
proen and really like trying to
understand the core problem and the
number one thing I've learned in my
experience is for them every problem is
alleviated through sex they alleviate a
lot of problems through sex if they all
have a marriage and instead of like you
know the wonderful like techniques that
the gotman Institute might say like
where you know you say nice things to
each other you can say the nicest things
to a man you can cook for him you can
look after him but if you are not
satisfying him sexually he'll risk it
all to be with somebody who does it's
like you have to go through that Gateway
in order to access the best parts of
them in order to get that attachment to
get that appreciation to get that love
out of them it's like you have to go in
that direction first and then they can
reward you so it's almost like that's
the Avenue now to get love out of them
so it's very difficult I'm not saying
women are any better um but it seems
like I I and I did this because I've
been working with couples for so long
and we'd be trying this that and the
other and then now I just come in when
couples come to me the first thing I ask
is like are you sleeping together and
she's like oh no we are not and I'm like
then everything you've done like
arranging birthdays for his mom cooking
for him ironing his clothes it doesn't
mean anything until he's sexually
satisfied so start with that I'm not
saying actually that's a bad thing I'm
saying if you know know that it's
actually a bit easier but I don't know
if that's just my experience because I
get the skewed end of it but would you
say that men can only really appreciate
the other aspects of a relationship once
they're sex sexually satisfied women
need to feel loved to have sex men need
to have sex to feel loved I'm so sorry
if I sound a bit negative because I
sound so different to how I came last
year only because as my prices increased
I saw more successful men and then the
behavior of more successful men is so
different to the behavior of less
successful men which made me believe
that the only reason men are being good
is because they don't have the options
and the ability to do what successful
men do so it made me then even get into
that is this why you know you hear about
royal families and they can become
pedophiles or is this why you hear this
so it makes me think that as men have
more Financial Freedom their selection
gets worse and worse which means that
their true desires might be worse and
worse but we they just can't access it
when they're on the lower end of the
financial status there is something very
true about that and this brings us to um
what has changed that's made women have
a hard time falling for average men now
yeah um I would say materialism to that
as well yeah I I like just like how men
are a bit delusional about you know you
get men in their 50s and still think
that they can get a 25y old women are
also very delusional about the wealth
that they can access um they spend
endless hours looking consuming content
online which is just glorifying wealth
and then assuming that they deserve that
lifestyle and assuming it you you know
almost making fun of men that aren't
quite on that same level and you know
what beautiful girls will do is use
their use sex to access it but less
beautiful women will just stay single
they'll just say well I'm a CEO or I'm
I'm you know working hedge funds so I'm
not going to settle for a guy that's on
an average earning even if she's but
they don't realize for men appearance
means more than what you're earning so
to get that top level guy he doesn't
care that you're so smart and
intelligent and you're a successful
lawyer he wants to know if you have a
21y old sister
yeah that's what he's going to ask for
so I think there's a delusion on both
ends yeah I think that's really
important to dive into and and I will uh
ultimately answer the question of
whether I think men can or should have
multiple wives That's Prett interesting
but um I do want to um tie some of these
things up from the very beginning yeah
uh where we're talking about what what
what's changed what's broken um this
idea of deserve I think is a really
important idea um what do you think is
driving this sense of um entitlement
they think if they see it they should
have it it's a simple social media
that's the criteria now I've seen it so
I want it there is no I've earned it
there's no that I also provide this
quality so therefore I could potentially
ask for it back but it's just I've seen
it therefore I want it and whenever you
have a quality and you just your
Baseline for why you want it is because
you've seen it that's not a valid reason
for wanting something but if it's
something that you also provide and in
your past experiences you've also
received because that's what happens
then chances are that's a realistic
expectations but if it's something
you've never accessed and you don't
actually be can't provide it yourself
then it's an unrealistic expectation so
what I mean by this is if you're a very
beautiful girl you can expect a
beautiful man yes or if you're a
beautiful girl and men have spoiled you
in the past and they've given you a lot
of you know money or whatever it is you
can expect that but you've never
experienced men spoiling you you've
always had men that are you know on the
lower end kind of dedicated to you and
yet you want a really wealthy man to
propose to you where is this expectation
coming from because it's not from your
lived experience expectations should
come from our lived experiences if
they're coming from vicarious
experiences that you've seen online
they're are not realistic just take them
out of your mind because they will keep
you single and I I always say there's
only two reasons why people are single
one reason is where they don't they have
excessive self-hate where they don't
really love themselves enough and they
have really low self-esteem so they
avoid people or they only go for people
who don't love them enough and as a
result they find themselves in a
Perpetual cycle of an unhealthy
relationship until it ends or people who
have which now more people are falling
into where people have excessive
self-love where they believe they
deserve certain traits and refuse to
settle until they access those traits
and as a result they're perpetually
single so I'll meet men sometimes
they'll get to 47 48 years old and
they'll say um I want to have kids so
therefore I'll only go for a 25 26 year
old I want a woman in my in her 20s
because you know I want to have kids
which sounds valid on paper and I like
okay but she's going to want financial
compensation for the 20e age difference
they no no I want it to be a a really
genuine connection I like but it's the
price you pay when you get to a certain
age you can't expect a genuine
connection from a young girl when you're
in your 40s and 50s you have to
sacrifice the the intimacy so they they
think that they still deserve that
connection but sometimes we pass that
same thing I say the same thing with
women I was like if you get to a certain
age and stage and you haven't had your
kids you have and then they'll say no no
don't want to be a stepmom so he can't
have any children but I want to have
kids but if you're in your late 30s
early 40s you have to adapt your
expectations it's the refusal to adapt
expectations and I'm stuck in almost a
childlike state of I want my dummy now
that keeps people single should people
settle well I think they should redefine
what settling means is it is it settling
in your case or is it just going for the
people that love you here's what people
think settling is just being with the
person that likes you but that is the
look your criteria should be what your
type should be people should be how
somebody treats you that's it how they
look what their size they are what they
bring all of that stuff should be
secondary your type should be a
treatment not a person so my type should
be somebody who's kind who's loving
who's loyal yes attraction is definitely
important I'm not saying it's not
important but the treatment is more my
type where people get a bit wrong is
that their type has become she has to be
blonde she has to be blue eyes and they
forget completely treatment is not
mentioned they don't even mention the
type has to be how much she likes you
back as well and how much she's
attracted to you back they don't look at
that they just look at from a unilateral
perspective and therefore they end up
either single or being used and abused
in relationships yeah yeah uh sexual
market value I think is important and I
think people's delusions around that
create a lot of trouble and figuring out
what are the things that are most
important to you I think is really it's
really beneficial for more delal who do
you think is more men or women uh right
now probably women because the way that
social media works it really rewards
women in a way that wildly disadvantages
men so some of the things that we
haven't gotten into in terms of how
we're in the system that we're in so
you've said previously that back in the
day you didn't have to be um you
couldn't be beautiful for anybody more
than the town that you're in and now
you're beautiful for the whole world
yeah there's an equally interesting
thing going on which is let's say that
your 20s is for guys is kind of a throw
you're building the skill set you're a
bit of a [ __ ] you're you're not
confident enough you don't know what
you're doing I mean a select few but for
the most part no it's just a dark time
uh building blocks building blocks
exactly and so somewhere in your early
to mid-30s you start to break out now
somebody in their early to mid-30s can
very much still connect with somebody in
their early to mid 20s I don't think
that's a big jump so and the generation
is in line with each other right exactly
so now you've got somebody that's in
their early 20s as a woman that can see
a guy that's in their early 30s that's
really starting to pop off and so now
that 20-some guy that would naturally be
going for the woman that's only a couple
years different than him is competing
with somebody that's in their 30s and so
now he's got all these years to really
just get rejected over and over and over
by women that have a growing sense of
delusion we were just talking prepping
for this episode was beyond fun we just
me and the producer Drew just started
talking about it and slowly there was
another person and then another person
and then another person until there was
like eight or nine of us like talking
about relationships and everything and
like where this is all going and they're
they're younger right they're in some of
them yeah so we but we have people that
are you know late 30s okay so
everybody's perspective was accounted
for exactly well and then I'm the old
guy so that was also account for but the
fascinating thing was the one universal
comment was oh it's actually easier to
get laid now it's just harder to get
someone to commit both the guys and the
girls felt like that was the case so
that's like sort of derangement Point
number one is if what everybody's
actually looking for is a long-term
committed relationship but there's this
sort of invisible change in the sexual
mores where people just feel like well
I'm I'm just going to try the
merchandise before I buy and so it's
like you end up in yeah I'll have sex
with you to see like is there anything
here but and then point number two of
just complete total derangement is you
can be on the apps all the time endless
Choice constantly being like well I had
fun with them but was it the ultimate
fun could I have more fun and so now in
a world where women are hypergamous
they're dating over and up and they can
see the level of success via Instagram
whatever across a wide squat of humanity
have you had what I talk about when I
say what hypergamy actually means for
women tell me I I would I know that the
traditional sense hypergamy is just you
know women want someone older richer all
of these things I say actually none of
that matters women actually their
definition of hypergamy is the man that
is she can't manipulate that's the only
man she'll find higher pergamus a
19-year-old who's dating a CEO who's 40
years old far more successful than her
taller than her uh more in more grades
more qualifications everything is above
her you would say that she's hypergamous
I can guarantee you if she can
manipulate every money every piece and
get rent from him get a car she will
still throw him in the dust and find
somebody that she actually respects
that's not hypergamy in a woman's eye
how pergam in a woman's eyes is we can't
fool you simple she would rather be with
a man that is less successful less
intell she not that she'd rather be but
she'd be more submissive to a man who's
less successful less intelligent might
even be a bit shorter but he doesn't
fall for nonsense he knows when she he's
she's trying to manipulate him she she
can't trick him she can't manipulate him
so I believe hypergamy is defined purely
by the art of manipulation not actually
by the arbitrary things of course we
want someone richer and taller but
a baseline of that only matters if
you're more intelligent than us and we
don't Define intelligence by financial
success we Define intelligence by can I
manipulate you yes or no if the answer
is no you are not an idiot you are not
going to pay my rent while your own
daughter's rent you don't even consider
or you are not going to buy me a car
because I slept with you a couple of
times you're not stupid but if we find
that oh my God I can tell him that I
need his card and he gives it to me
straight away or I can tell him that you
know I lost my job so I need rent he
gives it to me straight without me even
knowing him that well just because
immediately she loses respect and
therefore the hypergamy disappears so I
think you're on to a really important
addition to hypergamy but I can hear the
men in the comments screaming right now
like I can't be manipulated so yeah but
I still can't get a date uh I think the
key to add to that is that uh it has to
be someone that the woman would want to
manipulate and so if she's not drawn to
you attracted to you finds nothing
interesting about you doesn't matter
that if she tried to manipulate you tell
her to [ __ ] off you're not interested
whatever um there there is a dynamic
there so first there has to be mutual
desire and then there has to be a very
mature uh thing in it it's funny so I
don't think men look for Mutual desire
anymore I think men with high
self-esteem do I think men with super
high self-esteem I think the Baseline is
men with super high self-esteem
reciprocity is more important than
Beauty as long as she she wants wants
him as much as he wants her and this is
like she they men with high self-esteem
only know what women look like who like
them so they know women to want to take
their clothes off they want they know
women that are calling their phone 24/7
they know women who are initiating sex
that's what men with high self-esteem
that's the type of women they're around
men with low self-esteem which is
getting more and more don't care if she
wants him just as long as he gets to
touch her so that's where you'll find
these men that go to escorts you'll find
these men that go to webcams these men
that go you know travel you know um
passport boys they don't care if she
wants him or not just does she let me
have sex with her they're not looking
for Mutual desire as much particularly
as they get older you think they're not
looking for Mutual desire or they have
given up on I don't think they know what
it even looks like because they so
replaced Mutual Desire with attraction
from their perspective I had a a video
that was got a lot of hate where I said
that um the use of prostitutes is um
legal rape and I believe that men who
look for Mutual desire they realize that
consent is not simply somebody saying
yes it's somebody who wants you as much
as you want them that's what true
consent looks like in their eyes whereas
men who use prostitutes consent simply
means yes regardless of whether that's
manipulated consent or whether that's
you know groomed or whatever it is as
long as she said yes so even if you had
to get that yes through an envelope on
the table they'll take that yes they
just want permission but men with high
self-esteem they don't want permission
they want desire desire is their true
form of consent when a woman desires
them so I think yes I do believe women
are delusional with what they want but
there's nothing more delusional than
that man that as he gets older and older
and older still wants that 19 20y old
but wants her to actually want him she
doesn't she's not going to want you is
Trump raping Melania uh consensual rape
and there is a thing it's where the
consent is bought on and as a result it
becomes consensual rape so you don't
think it's possible yeah that she thinks
ooh like he's so powerful and so good at
what he does powerful and Status all of
these things only matter when the
underlying attraction is them let's say
yeah that my wife is in a car accident
and she gets
burned is she raping me if I sleep with
her uh no because the underlying
attraction is there even though
physically that's going to be tough
physically now it's going to be tough
but your premise for being together was
is not destroyed because it wasn't that
wasn't the premise of you guys being
together that wasn't the contract but if
the premise of Melania and Trump is that
this guy's smart he's uh an amazing
politician businessman whatever do you
think she would be with him if he was
broke tomorrow like lost everything of
course not right so then the premise is
the cons the contract says you have to
maintain the conditions of which when we
first met yeah whereas when it's love
and connection and commitment we
understand the conditions can change but
we're committed to you for them they're
committed to what their side of the deal
with let me um change my answer slightly
in that would she stay with him if he
lost everything and was trying to
rebuild um I don't know I literally when
I'm surprised I remember her name so
that is like how not attached to that
world I am but I remember Lisa being
very impressed when Melania was asked a
question about you know why are you with
Trump he's just with you for your beauty
and you're just with him for his money
or just somebody said you're just with
him for his money and she's like hold on
but he's just with me for my beauty like
why is there such a double standard yeah
now my thing is I really do think that
there's probably more credit to give to
cuz what I always tell people is don't
worry about getting the money become the
kind of person that can earn that money
so it's like most NBA players will never
earn a championship ring but they should
still be just be proud of themselves for
being so good at something that they
were able to make into the NBA so
they're still the 1% athlete exactly
become capable of a championship
performance even if you never win a
championship so it is possible that
somebody is just so good at a thing that
somebody finds intoxicating that they're
able to get past that so I agree with my
wife there are things that I'm into with
her where the looks can and will fade
and I'm still going to be way into her
but I think that there are far more
Dimensions upon which people people can
be connected where I wouldn't call it
consensual rape not that I'm ruling out
the the only reason I would say that is
you have to think that is if the
condition in which you chose to marry
this person if that was to change would
you still be connected to the person or
you connected to the condition I think
it's all all conditions all the way down
so if I stopped um if I stopped having a
growth mindset and being persistent and
taking care of myself and finding my
path to confidence I I I agree um and
same with my partner I would say the
conditions are you have to be kind to me
you have to be loyal to me you have to
be loving to me those conditions have to
be met but my underlying and your
underlying conditions are not
transactional they're more mut they
create Mutual connection whereas for
some people they are they don't those
conditions don't create connection they
are just conditions so it is just Rich
you stay beautiful you stay rich and
once either of us breaks the contract we
go because there's no actual Connection
in that creates longevity which I look I
here's a thing I have no problem with
transactional relationships I actually
think in this day and age I can actually
understand why a woman would say you
know what you can't trust men anymore
they all cheat they all do all this
nonsense i' rather be with a rich guy
have all my kids with a rich guy and
then if he gets divorced we get divorced
I completely understand that guy and
similarly I totally understand the man
that says you know what women they're
all the same headache they all want the
same thing why I why would I be with one
that doesn't give me any sex when I
could be with a young girl that's
constantly got energy and she gives me
sex I totally understand the transaction
but what I don't understand is the
delusion behind it if you know that's
what you're going for don't expect
intimacy from that connection so I I'll
meet people in those relationships where
the man genuinely believes there's an
intimate longlasting monogamous
connection but it's not possible if
you're just I agree with doing
absolutely anything you want just don't
be delusional about it if you're dating
a woman half your age that doesn't speak
the same language totally fine you're
using her for her beauty but expect her
to be using you for your looks men are
genuinely believed no no no she loves me
she loves me because of the term
hypergamy because I'm more powerful and
more successful women only care about
those things more once they're
fundamentally attracted to you they have
to be attracted to you first then we
give a [ __ ] if you're intelligent and in
powerful and successful but if that
underlying attraction is not there then
we're just using you and the underlying
attraction can't be there when there's a
significant age Gap some people will say
no no no it can 90% of the time when
couples like that happen she always
leaves with a younger man she'll leave
with the broke personal trainer she'll
leave with somebody that's around her
say because here's the thing with women
we fall in love with connection and we
have the most connection with people who
are similar to us and when we got huge
age grabs he might be gorgeous but we
are not connected to somebody that is
from a completely different generation
or anything they're just not connected
so this is something that men forget the
reality is women were designed one of
the reasons why women can move on
quickly from heartbreak and
relationships and go from one man to
another is in evolutionary times if they
lost their partner to war or to
Predators or whatever it is they would
have to find another one even if they
shared him with another bunch of women
they would have to do that otherwise
they die so we have these instincts in
us that we can't always explain now a
woman's instinct is always to be
somewhat looked after it doesn't even
have to be Financial but just knowing
that a man looks after that could mean
did you get home safe did you um was
work okay did you get on your flight
okay just checking in women really value
that yeah that checking in whether it's
Financial investment or emotional
investment they need it in order to feel
safe for a man the nurturing is really
important for him that nurture is their
way of understanding you appreciate them
when you nurture them they take it to
mean you love and appreciate me when you
don't nurture them they take it to mean
that I'm an ATM here and no one cares
about me so they get drastic with their
responses so I would say that the
emotional Financial investment is what
women generally like to look for and the
appreciation and nurture is what men
tend to look for okay so a lot of women
are having a seizure over that right now
uh let me ask should a woman yeah submit
to a man's leadership I think that when
you meet a man who is so is such a safe
bet and so secure submission is a
natural consequence now if you refuse to
do that because you don't see like it's
just goes against everything The
Narrative you've been taught you're
depriving yourself self of a really
beautiful relationship I'm not saying
submit to every man but a good man who
cares about your well-being you'd be a
fool not to submit to him you'd be AF
foord to argue with him uh you'd be
missing out on a great connection simply
because you want to maintain your
Independence but Independence is
overrated give give me details on what
it means to
submit um can a woman be a fully
actualized person completely her own
woman driven boss babe and still submit
to somebody's leadership or does that
mentality break the potential
relationship it's a little bit harder I
would say that it's a little bit harder
because you get so used to your own
authority when you are independent but I
would say is delegation you might want
to have a really great career outside
and Be Your Own Boss but at home there's
certain decisions that you allow him to
lead on and you allow him to lead on
because you trust his leadership and you
don't you giving him that Authority is
because he's earned it through trust
love and Leadership you know you can
trust his authority you don't need to
have a say in every single thing in life
sometimes you should just relax and if
you are that boss bve don't you want
some areas of your life where you don't
have to think and somebody else can just
lead it's good for you it's recharging
your batteries so I would say that if
you are really successful find areas
where you don't have to think it might
be when he plans a holiday when he
chooses where to live or something like
that instead of fighting that Embrace
that as a way of your off period you
don't have to think you can relax and
see it as in a positive rather than
negative okay so how does um how does a
modern woman who is very driven very
sharp uh she is working she realizes hey
I'm really good at this decision- making
thing
um why would she come home and submit to
somebody else's leadership why not just
maintain the leadership role uh because
she shouldn't be with somebody unless
she if she's really a you at decision
making she would have chosen a partner
that she can delegate decisions to if
you're really good at decision- making
as a woman and you're really successful
and you really know your [ __ ] you don't
be with a man that doesn't that suggests
that there's an a whole in your
self-esteem if you've chosen a man that
you don't truly see as effective
decision maker as yourself so if you are
all of those things then your partner
selection should have been also great so
great that there are parts that you can
just delegate and then allow him to lead
on now are you saying that women are
hardwired cuz we both have the norstar
of human flourishing yeah so are you
saying that women will flourish more if
they get with no matter how powerful
they are if they get with a man that is
they are the right person to lead yeah
in the family life I'm not sure where
you well the thing is you if you if you
really want to flourish choose a man
that you can who can put blindfolds on
you and you trust where he's going
because uh essentially there's going to
come a time either through kids or
through age where you Tire yourself out
from being that Boss B because you're
not designed for it we're not always
designed for it it's beautiful it's
always designed for or not designed for
I think we're not fully I I think we're
not I think there's a time where we are
designed for it when we're young and we
have the energy or when we've got
potential but at some stage in our life
we get to the point where we do we um T
retire earlier and it's again it's
evolutionary we're not actually designed
to be so driven all the time all day
every day we're actually designed to be
looked after and kept safe so as much as
you might have all this energy now at
least choose somebody's for when you
slow down and you take your foot off the
pedal he can take the steering wheel and
if you haven't chosen that you've
effectively adopted a son that you
didn't
choose interesting okay so let's keep
going down this road so um I hear you
saying that this is really just an
energy question yeah is it an energy
question or is it a hardwiring question
in that a woman who and for for the
conversation we will assume the man is
worthy you see him as uh an incredible
person so this not like you're
submitting to a bozo so you found a guy
he's a worthy leader yeah it's a word um
are you saying that no the only time you
need to submit is when you you get tired
you know go do your thing and then at
some point later down the road submit
just because you get tired of doing it
or are you saying that this is really
the result of evolution and evolution
has left women in a psychological
position where they will actually be
happier if they submit to a worthy man's
leadership yeah I think it's the latter
I think you would genuinely be happier
and you reserve more energy and
if you submit to a man who's worthy of
submission from early rather than you
know one day burning out and then
thinking now I want a man to save me
because I'm so exhausted and tired and I
meet girls when they turn 33 onwards
they're just so tired of doing
everything themselves and they'll say to
me I am just tired of even carrying my
grocery bags from the car into the house
I'm so tired of that I know it's so more
but I just am so tired of it whereas
when if you pick somebody and you
delegate and you submit and you're going
along what will happen is you have more
energy throughout life they give you
that that's what a man should be he
shouldn't be a burden he should be
somebody that you look forward to
submitting to because you trust their
process you trust their vision and if
you haven't found that then you're going
to suffer so why would it be that
Evolution would leave women in a
situation where they don't want to have
to lead all the time they actually want
to Outsource a lot of
a lot of the decision making uh to a
man why would that be what is the reward
has Evolution giving them a reward or
sorry children what happens is and
that's why baby brain is a real thing
women that will say I've got baby brain
what they mean is once they become a
mother their brain is absorbed by
becoming a mother they literally start
seeing their life through the lens of
their baby so they'll walk into a room
and be able to spot the danger and say
that's danger this so they stop being
able to think about themselves and they
stop being able to think outside of the
lens of a baby so if they don't have a
man that they can rely on they not only
have to look after the baby 24/7 but
then they have to worry about him and
and they just get overwhelmed whereas
when you have that secure man and you've
submitted that you can submit to when
you go into baby Zone it doesn't matter
the the ship is still sailing he's got
everything else covered but when you
don't you then have to put your feet on
both pedals and you're going to be
overwhelmed so because we're designed to
be mothers we're designed to have
somebody that we can submit to when we
become preoccupied with the child okay
so in a modern context when women can
push that off off off off off off off um
why not why submit if you never plan to
have kids um because you still run out
of energy at some stage at some stage in
our life we don't have this we don't
produce the same endorphins and stuff at
some stage or another and also um what
Joy is there from being completely
independent isn't life more beautiful
when you share it and depend on one
another
we're designed to be I want to stay I
want to stay close to this idea of
submitting to leadership so um for a
well so let me ask a slightly different
question then would the optimal life
strategy for a woman be to um Be Boss
babe mode until call it roughly 30 to 35
and then so be with a guy that does what
you say during those years and then no
there's going to be a natural break
somewhere in there and or maybe I just
had a series of relationships and now at
30 to 35 I'm going to settle down I'm
going to find a man that is worthy of
submitting to and and and I'm really
submitting probably is a word I don't
like I'm translating from them I don't
like that word but I'm going to be able
to Outsource some of the decision-
making so I can focus on my kids I think
a lot of women do do that where they be
with a man that they can control and
then switch it up for a man that they
want to take control from I think the
worst thing you can do is be with a man
that you can control un even before you
have a baby even before you have a baby
because it gets you into the habit of
seeing men as a nuisance rather than an
addition to your life when you have a
man that you can control what happens is
you end up raising him yeah he activates
your maternal Instinct rather than your
sexual Instinct so you end up having to
raise him having to check if he's there
and so on and so forth he becomes a
burden to your life and therefore you
start to glorify singlehood whereas when
you are with with a man that you don't
control and he actually helps control
you you see the beauty in a relationship
so I think when I meet women who are
with men that they control especially in
marriages they become disrespectful to
him they speak to him badly they become
a woman they don't like whereas when
they're with a man that takes leadership
they actually remain respectful they
remain kind they remain in awe of their
partner for a long time so I don't
recommend ever being with a man that you
can control you become a woman that you
don't like unfortunately
very interesting okay so if being with a
man that you can control activates your
mother instincts what activates a
woman's sexual instincts being with a
man that removes her fears and what that
what I mean by that is physical fears
like you're scared of other people
whatever if that exists Financial fears
emotional fears when you're with a man
that removes fears and replaces it with
safety and connection and you know
mutual respect then what happens is it
Act your sexual desires you can like
your mom says you can only orgasm when
you trust so when he takes away your
fears you can develop
trust you might Wrangle this into fears
but I I believe very strongly that
there's one more piece of the equation
if you really want to activate a woman
sexually and that is you have to make
her feel beautiful yeah I agree I really
agree I I genuinely think that a lot of
women when they deny men sex it's really
because they haven't felt beautiful in
so long so they think that if you don't
find me beautiful what is the point
women again I know I keep using the word
narcissistic when it comes to women but
our sexual experiences narcissistic uh
how much we enjoy it is entirely based
with how you make us feel how beautiful
and loved you make us feel and this is
one of the reasons why I know I keep
going back to pornography I encourage
men never to watch pornography when
they're growing up when they're young
because what happens is they develop a
dysfunction erectile dysfunction and
when a remote woman doesn't feel
attractive she can never desire you
again if a man can't keep his erection
in the first couple of times if they
haven't established safety and they
haven't got their loving relationship
but first couple of times you can't keep
an erection that woman cannot sexually
desire you again because you make her
feel so ugly in that moment even though
it's got nothing to do with you even
though it might have nothing to do your
the man's like inability to perform may
have nothing to do with me but there's
women take it so personal so personal
and they'll never desire him again ever
whereas another man who makes her feel
like the most like a goddess she will
desire him again and again so it's in
your best interest to not worry about
what move or what angle or whatever just
make stroke her ego in that
moment honestly man mik mik drop on that
all right that is um that's very
interesting there's no Universe in which
you don't get hate from women on some of
this stuff yeah what do they say and
with love in your heart because of
course course I what do they say and
then with love in your heart what do you
say back to them um I struggle to find
the love in my heart a lot of the times
if I'm very honest but what I would say
is usually it goes straight to
appearance um appearance is usually the
first go-to and what so they don't even
attack your argument they're just like
it's quicker and easier to attack my
appearance um they'll call me ugly
they'll say that it's all makeup they'll
and if they if they don't want to say
that they'll say it's all surgery and
all this nonsense so they they'll
usually go to appearance then if they
don't want to sound too bitter because
going for someone's appearances really
um it sounds a bit too obvious then they
might go for your qualifications and
they might say oh but you know
psychology is a [ __ ] degree anyway and
it's it's not proper qualified it's not
this it's not that so they'll go for
that and then final and uh kind of B is
they'll go for my um my chasy so they'll
say I bet she's a slot I bet she's an
escort so it usually goes in that order
so they either attack you physically or
academically or they attack you sexually
so one in those usually in that order
yeah interesting so they're not cuz what
I was hoping they were going to give a
counterargument very very rare that I
find that it's very rare that I'll find
a woman that will actually argue against
what I'm saying they'll F make it
completely personalized and this is
something I wasn't prepared for when you
go on social media when you go on social
media as like maybe an influencer or
somebody who's promoting makeup and
beauty and stuff you're very prepared
for your appearance to be judged because
you went on it for that I had zero idea
that that would be the focus so what
happens usually when I say a message
that they don't agree with it goes
straight to my appearance it goes it
bypasses the message and goes straight
to my appearance or my uh sexuality or
something along those lines and um to
kind of lower my status as a
woman wow that's very interesting okay
I'm going to try to channel what I think
would be a more effective argument
somebody that's really going to address
IDE
in out like you're a bad so um if I were
talking to my
daughter I have to step outside of my
own belief system for a second so I I'm
going to say what I think I'm going to
Steelman the argument and then we can
get into what I actually believe uh so I
want my I want to make sure that my
daughter can fully Embrace autonomy that
she learns to think for herself that she
doesn't turn to anybody that she
realizes we don't live on the Savannah
anymore that yes there are going to be
some evolutionary winds at your back but
you don't need to be a slave to your
instincts and I want you to become
whoever you want to become and you can
become anybody there are women that have
become astronauts there are women that
have become rock stars there are women
that become Prime Ministers and
presidents and liter soldiers there is
nothing you can't do and you are as
smart as a man uh the intelligence
distribution is such that I mean I I
know the literal intelligence
distribution is such that there are more
men at the extremes so you have more
brilliant men but there are more moronic
men so you're going to be smarter than a
lot a lot of men and so like really push
yourself if you want to be a
mathematician be a mathematician if you
want to go into particle physics go into
particle physics and you'll find
somebody that you can love and you'll
find somebody that loves you and if if
they want to stay at home and take care
of the kids that is absolutely fine MH
and yeah just the the greatest joy in
life is being who you really are m i I
would say that but I just think
genuinely speaking I think worst case
scenario you want to be who you are but
at least pick someone that if you needed
to submit to you could even if you never
need to you might never need to pull on
that doll and you might forever be then
he's going to pull you honey in to I'm
speaking to my daughter not calling you
honey I want to make that very clear uh
my my young darling that is uh he's
going to he may steal your dream right
and you'll end up supporting his dream
and it's better to find somebody that
supports you yeah I agree I agree yeah
no I do agree because the thing is I
wouldn't be able to do what I do if I
didn't have that and so I definitely
agree that having somebody but here's
the thing I wouldn't uh like what I mean
by having someone you could submit to I
wouldn't submit to a man that's
suppressing my dreams and suppressing my
potential because he obviously doesn't
know me and doesn't know my uniqueness
or appreciate it so I choose somebody I
would personally submit to when people
hear the word submit they think of a
tyrannical leader telling you what you
can and can't do what I mean by that is
you choose somebody Who You're So
aligned to you and so somebody you're so
respect and you respect each other that
if you needed to BL blindfold yourself
you would trust him with where to go and
if you don't find that why would you
submit of course not but when I say
submit I don't just mean pick a man and
listen to him I mean have a man that
genuinely sees who you are understands
what's best for you and therefore will
guide you in the right direction and if
you need him to take the wheel he will
just usually what I mean by that yeah
okay so now I'll see if I can um
articulate my point in a way so normally
I would be inflammatory right now cuz I
find it so fun to just be blunt um okay
remember that I'm married to a woman
that I respect an incredible amount yeah
but my advice to women is I believe
there is enough evolutionary pressure at
your back
um and enough evolutionary pressure at
Men's backs that for a husband and wife
to be a team against the world and for
you both to accomplish what you want to
accomplish the following Dynamic will
work best given that 50% of you is
unchangeable and that is I think
hypergamy which is the female tendency
to date across or up is is a very real
thing and that women are very just
evolutionarily you have an algorithm in
your mind that will make you very
comfortable with a man that that is
equal to you in all things or above you
but you will not be satisfied in a
relationship where the man is below you
yeah and I think
that men will be happiest because I
actually don't know what I think about
women I think I I don't yet know and
maybe as I say this out loud I'll I'll
have an opinion come to my mind men I
think will be at their best in the
relationship if they feel powerful right
and they're not going to feel powerful
if your better than them at a lot of
traditionally masculine things
leadership being the easiest one to Peg
to they actually produce more qutool in
relationships with women that earn more
than them or take more dominance so they
literally experience more stress uh
biologically and biochemically which
actually decreases their testosterone so
they have less sexual desire and more
stress when they're around a woman who's
more successful than them isn't that
weird it is not weird at all to me it's
fascinating but that rings so true and
there's a great quote of course said by
a man um but everything is about sex
except sex that's about
power
and the fascinating thing about when you
were talking about a woman will not want
to be with you if in those critical
early moments you don't get an erection
because she internalizes that is you're
not attracted to me and I remember
hearing once that women don't like um
photos of a flaccid penis but that while
they of course do not everybody
listening they do not want you to send
them dick pics of
Anis but if they have to encounter a
penis they are far more interested in
one that's erect and so um that's so
funny yeah from from a sexual vantage
point because it means you find me
desirable right
so flip that now and for the guy if he's
not getting an erection he doesn't feel
powerful of this I assure you m and
something is going wrong where his he's
in his own head as he would probably say
he's worried about something some
element of it to do with the woman
it could but there could be a thousand I
I've said this before on camera I will
say it again uh the first time probably
not the only time but I will admit I am
blessed cuz I stay in shape my life is
very attractive they are precious few
times where I have a hard time
maintaining an erection but it has
happened the first time it happened was
so funny that I it wasn't funny at the
time but in the retailing it's funny so
uh poor at the time living in an
apartment with thin walls and the guy
above us we were having this really hot
steamy moment like in a random part of
the house and or apartment and we were
going at it going very well and the guy
upstairs sounds like he's dying of
empyema I mean he is just hacking up a
lung and he's just coughing and it's
that wet gross and so I'm just slowly
losing there was no music there was no
oh God it was so horrible and so that
had nothing to do with my wife but it I
didn't feel powerful I'm in my own head
he sounds like he's dying it's just
really [ __ ] gross going so yeah I was
just like oh God and so once you're in
that zone now it had nothing to do with
her
but that is when you sort of break that
spell and you're not feeling confident
you're not feeling sexy you're not
feeling powerful then it you're in real
trouble um so that is there there can be
a whole host of reasons why you end up
in trouble with that so anyway getting
back to the initial thing I think that
if if for the the man and woman to work
together I don't necessarily know that
the woman needs to submit but the guy
needs to lead right and so but I I have
a real strong belief in life never ask
someone to slow down so you can lead
right which means the guy has actually
got to be the right person to lead
that's it and so and this is what I hold
myself accountable into my marriage my
wife is [ __ ] amazing she she's the
best business partner I've ever had
she's unbelievable she has an incredible
business mind which I think took us both
by surprise we were like wo you're
really good at this a and so that's been
amazing but it also made me realize yo
I've got to step up my game because I've
got to outperform and because I want to
be the right person to lead now hey
everybody Public Service Announcement
leadership is about knowing when to
follow and so there are times where my
wife is just better at that kind of
decision making and so I'll be like
you're better at this than I am so
saying that you're the quote unquote
leader does not mean that you're an
idiot and you don't know when to listen
to the other person exactly and so a
good leader also knows when to follow
but that that really does not mean that
we lead equal percentage of the time and
I would say this in front of my wife I
would give her every opportunity to say
that I'm I'm not being honest trust me
she agrees and so my wife the thing
she's always said is I want to be as
powerful as humanly possible and I want
you to be so powerful that I can be
small in your arms a and I was like
homie you get me like that's that's the
juice because if if you couldn't
authentically make me feel like that and
if I didn't authentically make you feel
like that this wouldn't work and so this
is where I have empathy for the red pill
Community all of this [ __ ] is
complicated it is very hard I think you
know when you shoot above your range
when it comes to a woman either you're
choosing somebody physically out of your
league or um you know intellectually out
of your league you always suffer you as
a man and I know that they they they
kind of think no no it's okay to be with
a woman that's 10 times more beautiful
than you or it's okay to be with a woman
who's more successful whatever you can
fix it unfortunately what will happen is
she will use what she has above you to
start losing respect for you sometimes
so it's always if you like you said if
you have to slow if you have to get some
people to slow down for you to leave
it's a recipe for disaster so it's
always better to just shoot within your
range find a woman that you are
naturally able to lead rather than
picking what whoever you want and
forcing her to follow your leadership it
won't work that way just pick within
your range what I love about the way
that you talk about this it is hyper
practical yeah and that is very much
what I want for people so I'm not saying
it's good or bad that it is this way but
it is this way it is this way if you're
going to choose a woman that's 20 times
prettier than you are handsome
unfortunately she'll feel Irreplaceable
and she might just start disrespecting
you whereas when you pick somebody on
the same level as you what will happen
is you both feel Irreplaceable to each
other because you match each other so I
meet so many men that are being abused
by women and they're staying there
because she's so beautiful but she's
abusing him because she wants she knows
he's not going anywhere he also does not
respect himself which is why he
tolerates that yeah and so that's why I
just think shoot within your range and
so this the problem with today's world
is people are losing sight of what their
range is whether that's Financial or
physical because of the materialistic or
the kind of physical attributes of men
and women are being highlighted on
social media so we think how does it
make them lose sight of their own range
though because they think it's
accessible it's far more accessible than
it is just because they see it because
they see it when we see something we
assume it's somewhat within our range so
men are seeing beautiful women all day
every day and they're thinking it's more
accessible and when they're not getting
it they thinking oh okay I just need to
make more money but if you have to rely
on something external to access that
that means it's not actually for you
it's not actually joyed for you yeah I
don't know about that do you think so I
think if I had to you know get a few
surgeries to get the right guy for me
we're not right for each other and
similarly if a man had to make a a
couple of thousands a couple of more
million to access me he himself is not
right for me yes so uh do I mean yes
here what you're saying is very complex
in that if I needed to if I really
wanted you and you would have nothing to
do with me and I go make a couple more
million and I come back and now you want
me Bad News Bears avoid avoid avoid but
if you go make a couple million
different women will now be in your
league that's just real and ladies this
is not me encouraging you to get plastic
surgery in fact I've talked my wife I my
wife used to be insecure about her nose
which she has talked openly about I love
that [ __ ] nose a so um I did not want
her I would never have wanted her to get
surgery right it's not like she was
contemplating it or anything but when
she was a kid she did and when she
brought that up to me I was like oh my
God I love your nose um but if she had
gotten a nose job when she was a kid
more guys probably would have been
attracted to her right so it's like
that's real I yeah I get it but I also
think that you brought you're compatible
with it has to be in line with your
actual self-esteem not your extrinsic
value so I do think that yes let's say
for example I get a bunch of surgery and
stuff like that sardia is still sardia
she has a level of confidence and
self-esteem that is pretty much stable
now I might end up let's say I get loads
of surgery and I end up being with I
don't know Chris Brown the reality is
the real me is incompatible with him and
I won't know how to navigate that kind
of man I will feel insecure in his
presence I'll feel like every woman is
my competition because the next girl
with more surgery can attract him I
won't feel like I attracted him I felt
like something external attracted him
which is easily replaceable similarly if
you have to make a coule a couple of
million to get hold of that pamla
Anderson kind of woman unfortunately
what that mean is you become replacable
all it takes is somebody else with that
money the real you and the real person
that you trct on will eventually become
Irreplaceable if you use internal
ingredients to attract a partner if you
have Let Yourself Go I wouldn't say it's
just men or women if you've let yourself
go completely your partner might still
love you but they do not desire you the
desire decreases if you're totally
different to the person they signed up
for yes I know there should be
unconditional love but it's there's not
unconditional desire desire is something
that is more visual based so you owe it
to each other to remain somewhat in the
ballpark of what you were when you met
and remain somewhat attracted to each
other because there's just too many
alternatives to that now it's just
guarding your own marriage is to go
place a guard where women get it wrong
is that they just expect he should just
be a desire me and he should just love
me and he should just I know he should
but he just won't you've got to remain
somewhat in the same physical
capabilities as you were when you first
met for him to remain satisfied some
might stay loyal but they won't
necessarily be satisfied it's
interesting I think where people put
their shoulds they need to be very
careful cuz he should just be into me
now you're setting yourself up for
disaster but do you think men should
also just realize that sometimes you
can't maintain that level of physicality
for the rest of your life or is it
something that they can't always adapt
to they just no I think dude look
message to young men yeah for your own
emotional well-being when you get with a
woman and you decide this is you're
going to make a shot at forever yeah you
want to make sure that that person feels
safe yeah and the safe isn't just
physically safe the safe is emotionally
safe and so when Lisa was 22 I was like
I want you to hear me right now mhm you
are beautiful you're young you're
gorgeous you're in great shape you have
an amazing body beautiful face but you
won't forever MH and I'm still going to
love you I'm still going to desire you
and I want you to understand why I'm
going to desire you at that age because
we're going to spend the rest of our
lives investing in each other being
there for each other um sharing
sexuality keeping this as hot as we can
like doing all these things so that
there's a playfulness there's a bonding
to it there's a cration of that right
now we have youthful skin and we look
great and you know all that stuff but
life moves in phases yeah and this is a
temporary phase and I want to take
advantage of it while we have it but I
don't want us to ever be
surprised by how we will change and so
making those Investments early on of
both telling her you're beautiful now
I'm extremely attracted to you now and
in the future I'm going to be just as
attracted to what could you do that
would make would could potentially make
you less attracted to her because the
problem is when men don't vocalize when
they lost attraction and then they just
have a slow resentment towards their
partner because they're noted don't do
silence yeah so there have been times
where both of us have not been in Peak
physical condition and look I used to
walk around with six-pack abs I'm now
more more like a two-ish pack abber
still still very impressive still in
reasonable shape like I no big deal um
but it's not like Lisa's like hey what
the [ __ ] she knows that I'm capable of
being in better shape but there's a band
in which she still finds me attractive
also the band is like you not become a
physically lazy person I think it's more
the laziness that finds that she might
find unattractive but you're still in
good shape it's just maybe we Peak and
trough at different stages but she she
hasn't seen you turn into a gluttonous
person that she can no longer recognize
so but is there anything she could do
that would make her non-attractive to
you physically or both uh so emotionally
yes that that would be very easy if she
stopped appreciating me became hostile
belligerent um if she ever used my
insecurities against me in a weaponized
way all of that that's ugly to me uh so
that would be very problematic obviously
Infidel is just not start I ever speak
to again that would be that
it wouldn't make you lose it's just lost
the relationship with them yeah over I
would lose respect for and I certainly
wouldn't be attracted to it um
physically yeah if she got lazy and let
herself go and wasn't putting energy
into her appearance um if she didn't try
to be sexy for me um that would be
problematic like I do expect her expect
her to make an effort as she should
expect me to make an effort and I think
that's something that men just need to
be more vocal about when they're
speaking to their wives because it's so
much better to have that difficult
conversation than to have the difficult
conversation that you've been texting
another girl or that you've been
watching X Y and Z it's just an easier
conversation to have so be brave enough
to have that conversation rather than
tiptoeing that conversation and waiting
until the car crashes and you know she
finds something terrible out so it's
just I don't know why why do you think
some men struggle to have those open
honest conversations is it because the
recipient is not very receptive probably
not they don't understand it themselves
they don't understand it themselves and
when I say that if there's shakiness in
your relationship your woman is not
looking at you like a hero she doesn't
make you powerful she doesn't anticipate
your needs uh she's not making an effort
or just any one of those things right
there's a a thing that's off in your
relationship and somebody else gives you
that attention the way it feels is so
intoxicating it's like when a woman
feels like imagine your husband makes
you feel blah or even downright ugly and
then somebody else is like wa you are
stunning what that's going to do it's
going to light you up in a way and it
doesn't matter who it's coming from just
the the feeling in itself is enough to
attach to it so it's just creating those
Moes around your relationship to prevent
it rather than resenting these things
because yes of course I would love it if
you can just get as fat as you want and
not make an effort ever again and no
worries he'll still be loyal but it's
just not realistic let's just be
realistic with each other as difficult
as it might be let's just be realistic
so that you protect your own marriage is
to guard your own marriage not to make
you feel low but to elevate the your
relationship also what is almost
certainly happening to that person to
let themselves go like that is all bad
yeah nothing's good about that nothing's
good they're in a dark place you're
spiraling and that's where you really
want to reach out for help and work with
your spouse you can't just wallow in
your insecurities and self-pity
sometimes people when they like really
let themselves go it makes them more
susceptible to Affairs because they want
a shortcut to self-esteem and usually
that comes in the form of new attention
and stuff so yeah actually the more you
let yourself go guys have always worried
about the women that maintain themselves
but you also need to worry about the
person man or woman that's let
themselves go they might look for cheap
thrills to kind of elevate their
self-esteem that's been dropping over
the years so it is an important thing
just self-respect is an important thing
to look for in your partner agreed yeah
I want to talk about the future yes so
what do you think is going to happen are
we going to retreat from all of the
promiscuity the dating apps and all of
that or our AI girlfriend and sex robots
going to take over uh it's going to go
towards sex robots and AI it is
definitely going to go more towards that
I remember when we first heard the word
chat rooms we thought it's just where a
bunch of pedophiles connect but really
over time we now got to the point where
we're all talking online all day every
day it's just got a different name to it
so what seems so scary and so un like
you know the idea of putting your
relationship status online and all these
things are so bizarre but then Facebook
came and then Instagram came and then
everything comes so what happens is um
the devil is quite patient with how much
disclosure and how much you do online so
it starts very small very small foot in
the door technique but it will get to
the point where there's definitely Ai
and sex robots and that will definitely
become um I I heard someone say
something I might have been on your
channel where he was saying that even
the robots will create like fear of
infidelity and fear of like fighting and
that just to ignite the same human
emotion but again without the man having
or the woman having to work on any of
the qualities that attracts true
intimacy so it's a shortcut society that
we created and I think for as long as
men worship um vagina that then it will
get more the capitalist Society will get
is never going to forget that that men
will pay endless and one thing I've
learning and this is where my jadedness
has come from is men are deeply
transactional their generosity is
limited to the women that they're
actually touching and sleeping with and
they pay for these kind of things and
when you have a capitalist society that
understands that men would rather pay
for webcam girls than pay their mom's
medical bills or they would rather pay a
random prostitute uh you know um school
fees then pay their own daughter's
school fees you learn that men are so
like engulfed in this area of Life the
quickest way to become a billionaire is
to provide men a sexual access give them
something that will give them sexual
access and you'll become a billionaire
overnight because that's what men reward
and invest in sadly and I don't know why
that is but they will literally really
really put lots of money I I and I see
this regularly you'll see men that will
literally when it comes to say they
they'll say to me oh I don't really talk
to my dad that much every time he calls
me he just wants a bit of money or my
brother he always wants a bit of money
and yet they've got girls that they give
so much money to they pay the rent for
they pay the car for and she's nothing
but disrespectful for but their wallet
is open for that girl but for their own
family they're like oh no I'm not going
to pay him it's there's transactional
nature to their generosity and I don't
know if that's a new thing or if that's
always been there but I have noticed
that their generosity is very much
linked to attraction and uh pleasure I
admittedly could never be into a woman
that was hostile towards me so that
never resonates when you're like oh
they're kind of toward them that's super
weird to me however um if you look at
the way that men engage with pornography
versus the way that women engage with
pornography so first of all female
pornography tends to be books so it's a
written word describing the internal
state how people are feeling all of that
um a lot of buildup before the ACT uh
whereas male pornography is shots of the
genitalia so when like if women really
develop an understanding of male
sexuality they will have a much easier
time predicting men's behavior so when I
hear that these guys put up with the
belligerent or whatever and they put up
with
to for these girls um what's really
going on is going to be something like
the following I make so much money and
I'm so powerful I can just pay this
chick's rent and she'll spread her legs
for me yeah and that's kind of evil and
definitely gross but it's also powerful
it's like yep I can just I'm so good
like like it's they're going to think of
it in weird ways like this I'm going
into this meeting with this guy and I'm
going to be able to negotiate terms over
him I'm going to win over him and that
win is going to come to me in the form
of money and then I can use that money
to get this bimbo to do whatever I want
now this I'm painting a very dark
picture a certain type of guy but it's
like that kind of chain is he isn't the
Sheep that's oh being abused by this
poor woman no and the reason that he
doesn't want to do it for his dad or
whatever is because they're not
triggering any of the he doesn't get
access to anything from them that he
finds interesting whereas if it's a
woman that he is legitimately attracted
to and he's effectively having a
relationship with her genitals it's like
there's still a thing look that that's
just an evolutionary drive so wild like
can you see why I get jaded I I I would
advise you not to get jaded I would I'm
praying the reason that I would say
don't be jaded is look it is yeah this
is how Nature has made us if anything
there's a humor to the fact that uh a
billionaire like Jeff Bezos I love love
you and I would love to interview you
one day and so I hate always using this
reference but he's one of the most
disciplined businessmen of all time what
he build is just unbelievable and he
still got caught out sending a dickpic
to his mistress it's like it's and you
see even with like you know um Elon Musk
and both Johnny Depp and Elon Musk were
in love with Amber herd and and so it
just shows you that like you know this
is there's obviously would be like oh
but she's not all that and she's not
this but because when you understand the
male brain there must be something
sexual that has got them attached and
it's nothing more than that because the
treatment is negative so yeah they do
put that as a priority no so yeah like I
was saying the reason why I would say
sex robots and all of these things it is
a dream come true for men that don't
want to work on their skills and here's
the main thing and the reason why sex
robots will definitely replace
everything else is men have confused
their desire for intimacy with desire
for sex when they finally meet a sex
robot they can combine the two in their
mind they get pseudo intimacy where you
actually get a bit of a connection
she'll call you and stuff and they might
get to reenact the sex but really what
most men are truly craving is intimacy
and how you know this is how quickly
they can fall in love with a woman that
makes them feel loved espe if they're
attracted to a woman and she makes them
feel loved it takes very few minutes for
them to fall in love because their deep
need is to they they don't look men
particularly as a man you're built to be
in tribes you're built for connection if
you are lonely it is a slow death for a
man and and literally in a tribal terms
if you are lonely you are going to die
you need a group to stay alive so the
loneliness they'll do anything to avoid
loneliness and they'll do anything to
have sex so when you've got when you
create an AI girlfriend you have
literally if you were going to invest in
anything that would make you a quick
billionaire invest in those companies
that are creating AI girlfriends sadly
yeah yeah so let me ask you said earlier
that you could now begin to understand
why the Quran says that it's okay to
have a second wife would you ever let
your husband have an AI second wife no
that would be even worse i' would be
like what worse way worse I'd be like
you're a creep because here's the thing
it's just like I would admire somebody's
ability to have two wonderful women be
in love with you that takes work and
effort a man that can get two women to
be madly in love with and loyal to him I
can admire that as a form of masculinity
but having a man in love with me and I'm
competing with a essentially a like a
glorified iPad is insane to me like how
am I competing with something that you
have to charge on a battery like I would
be mortified not because of the
competition element because he's not the
man I would admire a man that is so
desperate for affection that he will you
take it in the form of something that is
electronic is not a man I admire and
that's what really my main issue and
same thing some women I meet so many
women that will say on my husband he
goes to escorts but I don't mind that as
much because at least there's no
feelings and it's just quick dabble this
that and the other and for me it's like
I understand the psychology behind
escorts it's not the they're not
actually going because of the quick ease
and release they're going because they
want to avoid rejection they want to be
in environments where they don't get any
feedback on their sexual performance
that's really the underlying reason
they'll say they'll kind of mask it and
say it's because it's easy and you get
you pay them to leave I've worked with
hundreds of guys that have used escorts
every single one of them has an
insecurity in their sexual performance
every single one because men who are
secure in their sexual performance can
get the same service from women that
they don't have to pay they can get
girls in the club that they'll sleep
with that night and they she disappears
and he disappears it's not the end of
the world men who go to escorts every
single one of them has either had issues
with ejaculation premature ejaculation
they're insecure about the size I love
always get it out of them at some point
because they'll come to me they're like
no no no it's just quick and easy to get
rid of them and be honest with me
because you're you're handsome I can see
that you've got lots going for you why
would somebody like you go to an escort
and they then they timidly admit I used
to have a problem with a jackulation or
I used to have a problem I'm not
confident about the size of my penis or
some girls have told me that they didn't
like it so I just don't want that
negative feedback so I I think women if
you have a man that said oh I go to
escorts because it's quick and easy he's
actually masking is deeper insecurity so
to go to a robot I can't imagine the
level of insecurity that must be
involved there that's interesting I have
a totally different take on that talk to
me uh
so the Tik Tok algorithm is one of the
most brilliant algorithms in terms of
understanding what you want yeah and
giving you what you want to the point
where you don't understand how much time
just went by yeah and I think that the
AI running the robots will be the same
so first of all they will get so good
that they feel like a real human
but they'll just be that plus more so
they'll pass the touring test so when
you're talking to it yeah it's not like
you're like well this is obviously a
robot you'll be like this is a real
person and it will be a real person that
will sometimes pull away just enough
that you feel like you have to pursue
and convince and all that stuff and but
they will they will optimize for
your almost certainly in the beginning
anyway they'll optimize for engagement
so hopefully that's something positive
and they don't turn into these hyper
toxic relationships let's assume that
they that you have a dial and you can be
like I want to feel good and so it's
getting feedback about how you feel and
it's giving you more or less of what you
need to actually be imbalanced and so
someone like me is going to have an AI
That's like adding to his life and like
pushing me to be better and you know all
those things uh but is also supportive
and looks at me like a hero and all that
so um I am beginning to hear women leak
anxiety about okay I've always had to
compete against pornography and the body
standards and the sexual enthusiasm and
all that and that's already exhausting
and now I'm going to have to compete
with the the perfect girlfriend who's
literally like probably getting
biometric data off of you so they know
exactly what you're feeling and how to
optimize it and oh I see you want my the
my body temperature to be like half a
degree warmer you're lacking oxytocin I
need to do this it could be anything
that they could check yeah so then do
you think that's only going to lead to
women getting more lonely and lonely
women tends to become more promiscuous
women well I think they'll end up being
a female solve so meaning that females
will get their perfect man and so but we
don't the thing is I highly I would be
very surprised that women would attach
to AI robots because here's the thing
with men sex is enough to create an
attachment for women attachment is
enough is needed to create the sex so I
the fact that the attachment is in
invariably fake won't create the sexual
desire well so now you're getting on to
something else I guarantee it will be
just as easy to fool a woman into
generating desire unless they it's
online or is it like a robot no no it'
be standing in front of you it it like
literally in fact okay can I finally
reveal the truth you're a robot I'm a
robot the real Tom is upstairs right now
so uh you scared me for a second I start
because that's probably what it will be
like you think in a way like I mean I'm
a very big skeptic and I I always the
way I talk is like the world is ending
every day but do you do you think
there's a part there's a room for this
in our world because people are so
lonely do you think it's a good
resolution no well oh God okay so here's
what I think is going to happen
technology will ultimately make things
better but we will go through a brutal
period of transition and that period of
transition I will fingers crossed we
don't annihilate ourselves with a
nuclear weapon or with a biological
weapon but assuming we get on the other
side of that yes it will be better but
it the long Arc of History cares not for
an individual generation so it will
happily obliterate Millions hundreds of
millions whether just outright death or
just a terrible life where emotionally
we're all super distraught because we're
a transitional generation uh so I don't
think we get on the other side in
anything approaching a graceful manner
yeah and will they create AI children as
well like you can have children and now
you're on to my fetish secretly I hold
in my head oh God my audience is going
to hate me for this I brought it up once
before and people went pretty nuts uh I
will almost certainly at some point
raise an AI child you think so but I'll
do it over like a threeyear span yeah
and so it'll go from yeah cuz you'll be
able to dial the speed so it'll be uh I
only want to spend a weekend with that
as a baby because I do want to feel like
I earned it a baby I mean I'm making all
of this up but I'm just saying when you
carry out how the technology moves so in
the beginning it'll be like a um a to
maachi where it'll just be a very
convincing uh thing that you're
interacting with on a computer screen
eventually it will be embodied as a
robot and they'll just get better and
better but yeah you'll be able to dial
it in the version that I think would be
created where it's like okay the
terrible twos I only want to last for a
week and uh the teenagers oh my God like
we're you know only going to deal with
that for a month but then isn't that
just going to enhance depression because
the whole our buffer for depression
psychologically is our ability to deal
with tough times and our ability to take
rejection our ability to handle
loneliness all negative emotion has it's
our ability to thrive through it that's
going to actually act as a buffer for
depression but kind of warding ourselves
away from it doesn't create the skills
and tools we need for strong mental
health so how do we prevent a nation of
depressed people the AI will be
optimized to make you the strongest most
resilient most anxiety and
depression-free human on the planet
remember we're going to pass through a
brutal period you and I both agree it it
will get very bad before it gets good
and so in the early days it's going to
be kids spending nine hours a day
talking to replica on their phone and
they you know aren't able to get a real
girlfriend in the real world they don't
have any of the advantages of it passing
like a true touring test it'll be a
nightmare but on the other side of this
you will be able to have relationships
that are optimized completely to you the
most loving what's the intention of this
what's the intention of the people that
are creating this uh well I mean now
we're going to reopen the can of worms
around capitalism and all that you you
can't get people to work without
compensation MH so that means that then
money is going to be involved yeah and
that's how you're going to motivate
people and then if you don't allow them
to Garner enough Capital they won't work
which is why uh China started
floundering and they had to bring in
state sponsor capitalism but nonetheless
a variant of capitalism Russia had to do
the same and so yeah capitalism will
once again get involved so money is the
intention money is the thing that but
whenever the intention is money then we
have to compromise human health that is
false okay oh God we're going to derail
again sorry for the for me this is fun
this would be a good test to find out
what my audience thinks okay so money
derang people largely because it's a
fiat currency that the government says
uh this is money and then they can
manipulate it and they not only tax you
to all hell but they do uh money
Printing and when they money print money
printing is the same as devaluing the
money that you hold so it's it is
another hidden tax so when you hear oh
they're printing money and you get
excited yay this is amazing the reality
is that they're socializing in the
losses so they're buying assets which is
why people get really mad but they don't
understand why they're getting mad
because they think I got a stimy check
from the government yes but the way that
they do that is they inject that into
the financial system by buying assets so
the people that are rich that own the
assets they benefit and then everybody
even the poorest Among Us get diluted so
their buying power goes down so they
feel like but I got a $6,000 check this
is insane I've never had this much money
in one check ever in my life yes but
your money is worthless now
and so now the price of bread went up
and so that $6,000 do really get you
much unless you invest it which of
course you won uh so when you derange
money now you make money deranging now
I'm not letting capitalism off the hook
for it just creates a win or take all
scenario there really is that and you
get this increasing divide and so you
have to have very um smart policies that
encourage people to pay their taxes
reinvest in their business and it's
never going to be a an equitable system
where everybody ends up with the same
thing it just doesn't work that way that
can only be imposed by force and once
you impose it by force just goes to hell
in a hand basket so money is not
inherently compromising but if you steal
obviously
problematic but oftentimes a lot of the
theft is coming from the government in
terms of the way that they money print
to get this hidden tax so on and so
forth so do you recommend the AI
girlfriend that we be ruled by AI yeah I
don't know yet okay so this is one where
I'm not willing to seed
control yet I may see it and go oh yeah
we really should but right now I just
have a knee-jerk reaction to I don't
want anything to be able to tell me what
to do I have a real problem with
authority okay AI or otherwise and but
you're an advocate technology you do
agree as it's advancing or you do like
the advancement of technology I like the
advancement of Technology I think it's a
one-way Street the way that the human
mind is designed you're never going to
go backwards okay however I do think
that Society will bifurcate and that
some people will completely reject
technology and go back to something akin
to the 9s yeah I don't see it going back
unfortunately but I just um I I think
the measure of any kind of um whenever
we introduce something new in society
how we measure whether or not it's good
or not is by the uh remnants on people's
mental health because obviously I'm
coming from a psychological perspective
and if anything is decreasing are or
increasing our depression anxiety
loneliness it can't be a good thing even
if it's causing people to make billions
so that's why my it sounds bizarre
considering my life is all built on
technology uh from an objective
standpoint I don't think it's a a
healthy thing for society to get more
indulged in the one thing that has
caused so much destruction to people's
mental health over the last
decade yeah but that's just my opinion I
think it's a very wise take and I think
that um technology is not a Utopia it
will be a very bumpy ride but but
probably will We Will We live through it
or is it going to be in the next
Generation we will live through live it
you're going to get walloped in the next
10 years the next 10 years your life
will be unrecognizable to a level that
will shock you so our husbands in the
nursing homes might be having affairs
with robots uh husbands in nursing homes
probably won't be a nursing home because
by then we will have mastered the health
things that we need to keep them going
so yeah if I in 30 years I will be in my
70s uh so assuming I keep myself in good
shape yeah in in 30 years it wof you're
probably past what's known as The
Singularity where things are changing so
fast it is absolutely impossible to
predict okay yeah it's an impossibility
it's going to be crazy growing up in
London and in the UK where I didn't see
oppression towards women if anything I
only found hostility Between Women
rather than between men and women and I
found that the quickest and easiest way
to show that you have a fight and you're
involved in making the world a better
places to claim you're a feminist and
com claim that you are out there to stop
men oppressing women but in my personal
experience where I kept experiencing is
women oppressing other women
particularly at work so I found um
interesting why particularly at work um
maybe it was my personal experience but
what I found working with women um in in
the UK and working with with British
women in general is there was a level of
wanting to put being very good friends
with women until you feel like they
might surpass you and particularly in
your work environment and I found that
they would encourage men more than they
would encourage women in a teaching
environment so if they have a male
colleague they'll kind of encourage him
towards uh promotion but they wouldn't
encourage women I remember walking into
interviews and if I would see a panel of
women I would automatically know I'm not
getting the job and I would i' walk out
I'd walk out and just think there's no
point if I would see a man woman a man I
okay I stand a chance and I would go in
with and I always found having a female
boss was torturous I always every job I
worked in if I had a female um boss I
was a matter of time before I felt
bullied out of it I only felt it from
women and I don't know if that's a
gender thing or if that's an appearance
thing or if that is just an age thing
cuz I was younger then I don't know what
the confounding variable was but it kept
me a bit uh suspicious of the feminist
movement because I couldn't understand
why the enemy was men when it felt like
the en enemy was within interesting okay
let's start teasing this idea apart um
is it possible that the anecdotal thing
experiences that you've had aren't
necessarily uh they don't absolve men so
we can set aside that men may still be
evil and problematic which we will
address yeah but well in in the research
I know please feel free to Google but I
felt like I think I read a study that
suggested that 80% of women felt like
they had hostility from other women at
work we yeah that
up at work yeah and I don't know it
could just be a TED Talk that I listened
to and I just absorbed it because I felt
like that um but I felt like um there
was a lot of hostility within women
rather than between the genders and I
always felt like is it possible you
think this cuz you're attractive um
potentially without realizing I don't
know what the world looks like when you
are not a threat to any woman I don't
know what the world if I'm being honest
and it sounds very very conceited but
women see threats in women and not
necessarily because she's beautiful it
might just simply because she wears a
bit of makeup and wears a few heels and
whatever it is so I felt like I didn't
know whether it was a personal thing or
whether it's just Women Within women I
didn't know how to understand it but
what I did know is men were never the
enemy and have never been the enemy and
even and this is why I love Lisa so much
even when I do podcasts um I tend to
prefer when I aside from Lisa because
she's so well established and so secure
in herself but generally male podcast
host tends to be more encouraging and
tends to be very proud of my progress I
don't feel the same outside of that so I
it could be my personal experience so I
don't want to talk for everybody but
that's why I was so skeptical about the
feminist movement wow that's really
interesting all right let's see what we
have here research suggest that women
actually play a significant role in
perpetuating the gender gap due to the
concept known as female hostility
I genuinely never went for a promotion
when I would know that there was females
on the panel I would never go for it
whereas if it was men on the panel I'd
be like let me try my luck let me wear
something tight and try my luck okay so
what is feminism as a movement from my
personal perspective I can't talk
objectively from my personal perspective
it feels like the most privileged
members of female history claiming to be
oppressed which I can't see why in
throughout female history NE
historically never had it easier we've
never had it so beneficial we've never
been so benefited so to see these women
and I still believe that we are
beneficial to men in so many ways like
personally I know if I got stopped by
the police and somebody like my brother
got stopped by the police for the same
crime I I guarantee you I would leave
with a smile and a thank you and I would
leave I would safely so I know I'm
privileged superiorly to most men in
most circumstances
I know I can speak to a boss in a way
that probably a man couldn't I know I
could speak to a police officer in a way
that other men couldn't I feel
incredibly privileged as a woman and
therefore I don't understand the
movement so it confuses me but and I
don't know if it's because my skin is so
light I don't know if it's because of
some element of you know but even if
it's that then that would be racism not
but that's why I don't believe I don't
believe there is a gender issue I still
believe like my dad with an accent and
brown skin would have a disadvantage
against a English white woman in a job
environment I don't think he has a a
superior chances of getting a promotion
just because he's a man I think if
anything she has it so that's why I
never understood it okay so now let's uh
let me try to steal man the argument on
the other
side women have only been in the work
force for whatever 50 60 years um
there's so much historical Legacy of
sexism I mean you guys had to literally
throw yourself in front of horses and
[ __ ] just to get the right to vote yeah
uh that's a real story by the way I
think she even died crazy Emily
something yeah so absolute bananas that
the sort of default stance was of course
you can't vote yeah um and even Winston
Churchill who I think is phenomenal at
first was like Yeah women should be
allowed to vote obviously uh so one
thing I always say to that when people
tell me that is at a time where white
women couldn't vote they could still own
black
slaves that's horrifying let's say for
example I'm a white woman who couldn't
vote I could still own a black man as a
slave so do men have an advantage a
black woman so that feels like a black
problem not a male female problem then
does it show me that women had it bad if
it if it really was a gender thing
wouldn't it just be men above women but
what's really going on is that there was
a class system issues so the reality is
if I'm a woman I was claiming I was so
oppressed in
1920 I could still get a black man
arrested and lynched for whistling at me
okay so you're saying the breakdown the
problematic breakdown is not along
gender lines there's a problematic
breakdown along race lines way deeper
than that yeah it's way it's probably
more money than it is anything else in
the reality of things money is the real
uh division between people I don't think
it's gender related there's some race to
it but I still believe that as a woman
of color if I earn a certain amount I
would have same or more privilege than a
white woman who earned nothing so I
would still say it's money related but I
don't think it's gender related I really
don't think it is it makes no sense to
me that a woman would complain about not
being able to vote but she would have a
monopoly over a men of color at the time
so it wasn't so much gender in my mind I
could be wrong if we can remove any of
the confounding variables that would
certainly make it easier so if we just
talk about the things that you hear uh
the gender pay Gap that comes up a lot
uh women being expected to be at home
women having a harder time uh getting
promoted at work uh do you have any
stats well what what would make me feel
like a little bit what I would try and
understand there is when I see women not
getting paid as much I have to remember
in from what I see is women once they
have children choose part-time roles
more than men choose to be parttime time
after children so like that it makes
promotion on a more logical stance less
realistic it's just less realistic that
I'm going to pay you to do a promoted
role when three days out of the week
you're not there so it doesn't seem like
it's gender related it's circumstantial
I don't think we're victims because
we're women I think our biology and our
evolutionary pressures direct us in a
way that make us less proficient at men
in certain workforces but it's not
because we're of a agenda it's because
of our biological pressures and our
personal choices
so that's what I experienced um from my
work I could be wrong but I think the
stats would suggest that women um
probably would uh choose to be part-time
after kids far more than men
would yeah that that I I think the data
will bear that out but ad also just
don't think why we why we're creating
that Division I don't understand it I
think if we looked at it historically
everybody suffered at some stage or not
yeah and and it would usually be the
people who would Escape suffer uffing
tend to be the ones with money not
necessarily men or not necessarily just
white people it would be people with
money and so that's why I try not to go
down the gender rout and the whole idea
of feminism and stuff even though I get
so many messages and I'm very grateful
for women who are like oh you're
inspiring and I'm like but you need to
be careful because I'm not a feminist
I'm going to offend you at some point so
they're going to hate me so I always try
and take it with a pinch of salt because
I know the moment I talk about feminism
all of that strength that they love
hearing me talk about when it comes to
Red Pill goes straight to anger and
resentment when I talk about feminism
which is why I almost feel like maybe I
am gender neutral maybe I am a they them
because I tend to be quite balanced and
neutral I try to be but is that
offensive what I'm saying I know it
might be taken as such but I don't mean
it in an offensive way um I am not I'm
not at all offended to me these things
are empirical questions that have data
that backs them up uh and so looking at
that um seems self-evident so uh to
address one part of this which is the
gender pay Gap um which Thomas Soul has
spoken very eloquently to and he said if
you compare um it's basically women that
have never had kids versus everybody
else yeah and so women that have never
had kids if I'm not mistaken end up
outperforming I would imagine uh men and
that really it's a mother you can think
of it is a mother tax imagine now I
would think from an evolutionary
perspective that women would feel pretty
good with their choice about I want to
go home and spend time with my kids um
so that one doesn't seem super
surprising to me and I always come at it
from from a just pure entrepreneur
standpoint and I'm like I could not care
less if the person is a woman right so
but if you leave which I've never had a
guy leave when he had a kid but I've had
women yeah many women to because they
have kids and God bless like go do your
I'm very happy for them but the irony is
I'll have women hey I'm you know I've
gotten pregnant I'm going to be taking
leave amazing I'm so excited for you and
they're like but I'm definitely coming
back and I'm always like hey everybody
says that you're going to want to wait
until you actually hold that kid in your
arms and then make your life decision
beautiful decision to make thank you for
your service I'm captain thank you for
your service guy you know it's a
beautiful decision to make but the then
the agony about the gender pay gaps
makes no sense like
I I I know so many women who the moment
they have a child every all their career
doesn't mean as much to them so when
they fight about feminism and gender pay
gaps and stuff like that it feels like
an empty fight it feels like a
self-inflicted wound that they're trying
to cover up but what is it fighting for
like maybe I've just got it wrong
because I've always been anti- feminism
but maybe I've misunderstood it because
I've just my personal experience and
also I'm very biased I have a bunch of
sisters I'm not close to so I grew up
with a negativity towards women so maybe
that's what made me less sympathetic to
their causes so maybe I'm missing
something well Lisa I think and I don't
want to get her in trouble here speaking
on her behalf but the way that she's
always seen this is um she is a strong
independent woman earns her own money
does her own thing and her take is
anything that's anti-men I am 100%
opposed to just as I'm opposed to
anything that's anti-women um we are
partners and if like my whole thing
is the
whoever the the world is made up of men
and
women come together yeah celebrate what
each other is good at we are going to we
we have been evolutionarily shaped to be
different but we overlap far more than
we are different and recognizing that we
each bring something to the party and
wanting to celebrate that to me is the
only thing that makes sense I do not see
women in an adversarial sense
um but at the same time going back to
the idea that the brain is a prediction
engine women don't make sense to me when
I think of them like a man but when I
learn about women and I learn how their
minds work and what they're biased
towards then I can predict their
behaviors and women the same with men
and so the the thing I worry about is
anything that makes us adversarial which
the modern feminist movement seems very
anti-men uh and then anything that says
there is no
yeah and that we're all the same we can
be whatever we want that's when I'm like
reality is going to bite you in the ass
this is going to get really problem I
have to preface that I haven't worked in
a corporate industry so I don't know
what it's like in those environments
where there's corporate you know where
men do Dominate and stuff um but I do
just think you might the privilege I
privileges I have from being a woman
outweigh any of the um cons of being
them and I and I that might be being a
particular type of woman but it just
feels like having a feminine energy
definitely work works in your favor when
it comes to judicial system or when it
just comes to getting helping behavior
and stuff I don't really feel that um
like disadvantage from being a woman in
any way shape or form yeah the way that
I think this breaks down in reality is
men and women are different and so
people are going to be very confused
sometimes offended um guys are going to
speak in a way that women don't like
women are going to speak in a way that
men don't like and so they're I I've
thought a lot about this when it comes
to race and it's really not about any
given race it's about who's the
majority and certainly who's the
majority in power and so if you think
about that because I'm obsessed with
Japanese culture right but you could
make a pretty compelling argument that
the Japanese are freakishly racist in
Japan in the sense that they don't even
let Outsiders like the percentage of
Outsiders they don't try and hide it or
anything like that and they'll take
pictures of you if you're a different
color and stuff like that but here's
what I and Dubai is racist I live in
Dubai and your passport determines your
pay Gap and you know and stuff like that
so it's nothing to do with your gender
you come in with a passport or a British
passport you'll get paid more if you
have a Pakistan than a Pakistani
passport yeah yeah and I'm Pakistani
wait that's like actually an official
thing it's an official thing yeah it's
written down somewhere it's an official
thing yeah so we could go for the I
could be a doctor and somebody from
Pakistan with the Pakistani passport
could be a doctor and I'll be paid more
because I have a British passport and
they have a Pakistani passport and I
don't mean this in any offense to Dubai
or anything like that because I very
much love the country to work in but
there there is very clear divisions and
it's very much like they still get paid
far more than they would in Pakistan but
it's definitely far less than I would
get as a British Citizen and America
Pakistani I'm p and I have a dual
passport so I just you know hand in my
British passport and I get paid you know
very considerably a lot better shock
yeah it's shocking but here's what
happens in those environments what I
don't what I like about it is it's clear
as day you can either come or you don't
it's up to you what I found difficult in
uh in the UK is that it's almost hidden
or it's almost structure so I'd rather
just know where I stand and then I can
either choose to be a part of it or I
can leave uh but when it's not there and
it's almost structural I find that
harder to navigate because I felt like
um there was there is a division in
terms of like not so much ethnicity but
values because I don't drink and I don't
go to the pub after work and I don't go
out with them and you know they
socialize I'm limited in how much I can
access the you know the In Crowd when it
comes to work so I'd rather it just be
on paper is that wild that I that's wild
yeah I would rather oh God this really
interesting rather uh I would rather it
not be on paper cuz there's nothing you
can do when it's on paper I don't like
the Illusions I keep it real with me I
get that but humans are like that so
first of all they don't like they don't
think they're doing it and that's the
thing like they don't think I have to
say that they don't mean to do it not
from aici place they don't realize
they're doing it a lot of the time 100%
And when so for instance when I see an
all woman company I'm excited for them
yeah word do your thing but then I also
think that if a guy wants to he should
be able to do an all Mail company
because then it's like I personally
here's what I my current thesis is hire
for culture for sure you want to share
values with people and then find the
smartest hardest working people you can
find
F all beier because how I how're going
interpret things yeah and you know what
paternity leave looks like and you know
that they are coming back and I
completely understand that um so you
know like I said I could be totally
wrong but because I'm somebody who's so
let's keep it real with me just keep it
real with me I'd rather be in an
environment where I know what the score
is than given the illusion of hope that
you can make it but probably you won't
no I definitely wouldn't like that you
would really no I I really I can't have
a rule that says like I can't do this
thing I mean to me that's like 1960s
America where like we're literally just
like [ __ ] you you're Redline that's what
it is is bad isn't it yeah that's really
really gnarly and I need to believe that
even if one of the things I have to get
good at is fitting in cool like so Japan
I've thought a lot about this at one
point I considered like do I convince
Lisa to move to Japan like I'm into
Japan in that kind of way and I thought
okay I would have to deal with societal
racism I don't I don't want to put that
word on racist or is it just the way
they cuz I don't know how Des call
school of fish I'm much more comfortable
saying school of fish because I don't
think that they have I don't think they
mean it in their heart it's just their
country is their country and they are
used to seeing a sea of Japanese people
and they they don't love the idea
whatever I get it I come from America
where we're a Melting Pot and I love
that and that's a huge part of my is I
think that's dope and I'm a big believer
in you you can only get to the truth by
having a lot of different perspectives I
think that's really powerful I think you
want to share values and not share
insights yeah um
so that I'll just call school of fish
where you're up against a school of fish
people tend to flock with people that
look like them as a proxy for people
that think like them and there's an
evolutionary reason for that as well for
sure I think honestly all humans really
care about is do you share my values
that's the that's the thing that
everything else is axy color is an
indicator of that
correct understand it yeah it's a shared
it's a shared thing now it can go super
[ __ ] wrong humans are weird and we
have an Us Versus Them thing and that
does not it doesn't serveice well in a
modern context no but it makes total
evolutionary sense if somebody was a
different color tune but coming into
your tribe you would know they're there
to invade they're not there to say hi to
you so it makes sense to have a level of
fear or um skepticism of people of
different colors it doesn't necessarily
have to mean that it's coming from a
negative place or that's why I
understand Japanese culture I don't feel
like they mean it maliciously they
literally don't understand they're so
lovely I consider moving there but at
the same time I get it white people tend
to have a hard time Outsiders they have
a real problem with foreigners right
okay what what do they think you're
going to do I have no idea that I won't
speak to I don't know enough about it
but I know some people that grew up in
America that now live there and they're
like bro when they had a breakdown of
who got the vaccine when it was like
foreigners were like in 97th place it
was like every conceivable stack of
Japanese person and then the like
sickest oldest Foreigner then they could
finally get it but it was like you know
your perfectly healthy 19-year-old
Japanese kid 100% was getting the
vaccine before you you know what I come
there's a weirdness to it when I'm in
cultures which prioritize their own
culture first I almost just sign the
imaginary contract and accept that's the
way of it whereas when you grow up in a
country which expells the idea of racism
and says that where everybody's equal
you almost end up looking for the
inequalities more there is something to
that but I think here's where it breaks
for me if you're born in that country
it's pretty shitty to say well why don't
you go move to a different country [ __ ]
that like so now that's that's rough and
as an American like I dig the whole
Melting Pot thing yeah so it's like I
want this to be a rad place but for
people who share my values I won't lie
like I care about values yeah and so
that's where I can get like I really
believe in freedom of speech yeah and so
when people are like you shouldn't have
freedom of speech then I get the heebie
jeebies and then where do you draw the
line between freedom of speech and
freedom to offend I think you should be
allowed to offend any [ __ ] bu okay so
it's an equal the only thing I'll say is
you shouldn't be able to inide violence
yeah I agree I agree but I think you can
offend everybody with as long as you're
looking for the pursuit of truth I think
if somebody's intention is to find truth
and in if you're just trying to be funny
if you're trying to be if it's a
comedian or something yeah I find that
funny I can take a joke okay so if you
do you have to be a comedian to say
hurtful things usually with a comedian
the goal is to make people laugh rather
than the goal is to offend yes but Dave
Chappelle makes a lot of people very
very very very mad I'm a big fan of Dave
chel so am I I'm a huge fan and what I
love about his comedy is he's not he
he's not far from the truth in in the
jokes that he's making he makes jokes
but they are what if he wasn't cuz
here's what I'm protecting against I do
not want anyone to be the Arbiter of
whether they think he's going for truth
so I think would say is the truth is
never offended by reality and what I
mean by that is if I look I'm Muslim I
believe it to be true now if you come up
with real examples chances are it won't
knock my faith but if I believe
something that's relatively delusional I
will constantly be offended by reality
and that's what I always say is if
you're offended by reality you have to
reassess your truth because reality
shouldn't offend you now when Dave
Chappelle makes a few jokes he usually
takes reality and throws it in the face
of people that are he thinks are warped
of reality and I just think genuinely
speaking if you stand on truth it won't
be offended by reality reality will only
confirm your truth I see people offended
by the truth all the time then they then
they're holding on to a delusional
belief I agree with that but who gets to
decide what's delusional uh well reality
does reality testing so here's the thing
like for example I watch Matt Walsh
she's what is a woman and um then he
would ask people what is a woman and
they're like oh you have to ask a woman
I'm not a woman that doesn't there's no
they they find biology
offensive and if you're finding reality
offensive then your truth is delusional
but they're going to say that you're
delusional that so I'll steal man their
side of the argument yeah um you're
confusing biological sex with gender and
gender is generated in the brain and it
is a spectrum and so what you're calling
a woman is really somebody that is a
birthing person I forget the
ver but now what do you do with that
because they believe that they are
correct well I would say to that is then
if you believe gender is a psychological
construct why when you are a man that
wants to be a woman do you change your
biology yeah I mean I can give you an
answer and I can steal man them till the
end of time but I think the real
question to ask is what should happen to
somebody who is obviously wrong but
they're saying something well it's said
that anything should happen to them we
should keep saying they can say it but
we shouldn't be tiptoeing around their
delusion oh I think everybody should say
what they think everyone should say
whatever the [ __ ] they
want legally sanctioned to tiptoe and
offend the person who is detached from
reality which is what's starting to
happen I take I take a different stance
on that which is that I don't think uh
we want people determining what is true
I think going back to my obsession the
key is that you don't want anybody who
gets to be the arbit
of what is true because that's where we
run into trouble I actually think the
truth is often times very difficult to
think the truth is subjective I don't
think the truth is subjective I think
the truth is hard to identify so think
about um Newton so many people say he's
the smartest man to ever live but he was
wrong about physics but he was so close
that we were able to pinpoint the
movement of the Stars the heavens and
the Earth and all that Newtonian physics
got us to the Moon mhm but we needed
Einstein's physics in order to create
GPS nuclear energy Atomic weapons Etc so
Newton was
wrong but it was still useful Einstein
is wrong even though he moves us forward
but he still doesn't have a yeah he
doesn't have a unified theory now
imagine if everybody said hey hey hey
Einstein shut up that's wrong it doesn't
make any sense you need to stop with
that because that's what people did when
he first came up with the ideas
everybody thought he was out of his mind
and I think that is super dangerous and
yet humans do it all the time so do you
the gender debate do you think the
gender debate we should ground it in
reality or ground it in people's
emotional responses to being offended I
oh you can't ever do I hear me when I
say yeah somebody getting offended is
completely irrelevant yeah and this
should all be about I mean depend like
you're going to have to break everything
up into its subcategories I think people
should be able to live their lives
however they want I think people should
be treated with respect and I think that
um you if you're putting forward
something as true we should be able to
put it through the scientific method to
find out if that actually is true and
everybody should Champion that nobody
should say whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa that is a thing that's beyond
reproach you can't question that you
should to question everything
everything and so like should we put it
through the psycholog the biological
testing of just gender genitals or
should we just you know accept their
reality with that that's going to come
down to entirely why are we testing it
what are we trying to figure out what's
the the purpose or the point what is the
outcome that what is the outcome that's
bringing the question to Bear M so I
mean I don't live in a I don't know how
big the debate is here
um where I'm from into buy this
non-existent but is it quite a big
debate in America in day-to-day
existence I never encounter it on the
internet on the internet seems so
exaggerated on the internet it seems
like everybody in America doesn't know
what gender means anymore it comes up in
some very surprising moments
um and I have my share of
worries uh when it comes
to uh kids that's where I get concerned
yeah um I always get concerned anytime
that the biggest beneficiary of any law
is a
pharmaceutical that is probably a very
reasonable thing to be skeptical of so
the only stance I will take is everyone
should be able to question everything
right so people should be able to
question the uh pharmaceutical industry
they should be
able everything all nothing should be
Beyond approach and the scientific
method should be our ultimate Arbiter of
Truth when and we need to pin something
down so it's a way of testing validity
yeah cuz I human flourishing human
flourishing that's where I come down I
agree if you enjoyed this episode watch
my conversation with the one and only
Robert Green seduction involves the
desire to lose control and Men share
this as well which is why men are often
attracted to women who are slightly
dangerous who women who are either a
little bit crazy